Chapter Fifteen

As Bart's yell faded into nothingness, Hermione could do nothing but shake her head.

"How in the world is Bart not in Gryffindor? He's even more reckless than Fred and George!" she exclaimed, to nobody in particular.

Ron just rolled his eyes at the thought of Bart being in Gryffindor, while Harry made to follow Bart.

"Uh Harry, are you sure that's a good idea? What if Bart just jumped to his death?" Hermione asked.

Harry turned and glared at her.

"Who cares if he did? Frankly, I'd rather jump to my death than live in a world ruled by Voldemort! What about you, Ron? Would you live in a world ruled by the man who killed my parents and loads of other people, or would you rather take a risk and try to stop him?"

"I'd try and stop him", Ron replied.

"So why don't you want to take the risk, Hermione? Isn't part of being a Gryffindor taking risks and fighting injustice? Bart has shown that students from other houses can do it, so why can't a Gryffindor like you? Do you really want to represent the worst of this school, like Malfoy? Or do you want to represent the best of us, like Bart?"

Ron bristled at the unflattering comparison to Bart but nonetheless narrowed his eyes in determination as he said, "C'mon Harry! We're not letting Simpson upstage us!"

"That's the spirit, Ron. What about you, Hermione?"

Hermione just stood there, suddenly unsure as to what to do.

"OK, Hermione. Think about whether you'd rather live on your knees in front of Voldemort, or die on your feet so that you don't have to."

With that, the two boys lowered themselves into the hole and upon hearing Bart's voice reaching out to them, steadied themselves and jumped.

Hermione stood there for another 30 seconds, pondering her options. She could have run away and alerted a teacher as to what the three boys had done, but she worried about getting in trouble for breaking curfew himself.

Plus, Harry was right – what good was it living in a world where Voldemort reigned supreme, especially if she could have done something to try and stop it? Could she live with herself under such circumstances, if indeed she was permitted to live at all?

With refreshing simplicity of mind, she understood that she could not.

She then shouted, "Hold on, you two! I'm coming!" as she stepped over the hole and took a deep breath before jumping into the unknown.

Previously, Bart had been plummeting with astonishing speed, with his arms outstretched and his hands splayed in a bid to minimise any possible injuries.

Hey, this is just like skydiving – only with no parachute, he thought as the bottom – and his possible end – drew closer with each metre, as the cold, unforgiving air rushed past his small frame and towards the opening, which was dimming as each second ticked by.

Finally, he landed on something soft on the ground with an oddly muffled thump.

Well, that wasn't so bad. He looked up to the top, which by now was a dim light, and yelled at the top his lungs.

"Hey guys! Jump down; this plant thing will give you a soft landing!"

Before too long, Harry and Ron were sprawled next to their Slytherin ally, with Hermione following some 30 seconds later. Unfortunately, her initial reservations about making the plunge were only reinforced as the plant started wrapping tendrils around the quartet's ankles and legs.

Feels like snakes are wrapping themselves around me, Bart thought with some consternation as Hermione shrieked in panic, while Ron and Harry were merely digging themselves even deeper as the plant tightened in response to their strains. OK, think Bart. How can I get out, and get them out as well, without killing everyone? Oh wait, I know!

Thinking back to the time when he learnt the Severing Charm, or Diffindo, at home, he promptly severed the tendrils which threatened to strangle him into a stupor. He then barrel-rolled on the ground, so that the loose tendrils couldn't reach him, before propping himself up and casting non-verbal Diffindo after Diffindo. He slashed his wand at different angles, almost as if he was painting a masterwork.

Slowly but surely, mere seconds after Bart had slashed through the tendrils, they split and fell onto the ground, never to harm another soul. Eventually, the Gryffindor trio were surrounded by severed tendrils. As Bart bowed with his usual panache, they broke into spirited applause, as much out of relief as awe.

"Bart, that was incredible!" Harry exclaimed with a smile. "How did you do that?"

Bart prepared his response, pouring on the feigned humility in a bid to garner even more praise.

"Well, I just practice a -"

However, before he could finish, Harry tackled him to the ground as several spiky spore-like balls passed through where Bart's body was.

"Whoa! What the hell?" Bart exclaimed.

Harry didn't need to explain himself, however, for mobile vines suddenly shot out of the darkness and tried to grab the two boys. Bart quickly returned the favour by pivoting Harry onto his back and rolling them to safety.

It was at that moment that Hermione pulled Ron away and yelled "Incendio!" at the obscured menace. Red and orange flame spewed forth from her wand, making the air veritably shudder in response as the menace was enveloped in fire. The result was a truly magnifique display that entranced the boys, as Hermione poured on the fire with grim determination. Eventually, with a simple Finite Incantatem, she defused the flames, with the plant already burnt to a cinder.

Harry and Ron clapped while Bart frowned, being reminded of when Lisa upstaged him with her academic and magical heroics.

Hey, no fair, why does she have to hog the attention? I could have burnt that plant too! However, to bring attention back onto himself, he decided to say something else.

"There's a stone passageway over there. That must be our ticket out of here. Follow me!" he commanded as he walked through it.

While all this was happening, Gemma remained on the ground, face-first.

When I see that little toerag again, I'll make sure that I punish him for his trickery, Gemma thought angrily. She had never been so incensed; not only had Bart led her up several flights of stairs, but he also seemingly set her up so that someone else – probably another first-year – could hit her from behind. A cheap trick indeed, but one that would be repaid in full as soon as possible.

As she was stewing in her own metaphorical juices, she heard the unmistakable sound of a billowing cloak following heavy footsteps.

Professor Snape! she thought as she started to hum very audibly.

Seemingly lured towards the noise, Professor Snape stopped as he saw her, quickly unlocked the handcuffs on her and brought her out of her paralysed state. She then turned her around and grabbed her arms.

"Miss Farley! What happened here? Why did you come near this door?" he exclaimed, tone uncharacteristically animated as his eyes bugged out.

This is obviously pretty urgent; I'm not sure I've ever seen him act this emotional, Gemma thought as she responded.

"It was Bart Simpson. I chased him up several flights of stairs and found him near this door. I grabbed him and asked him what he was doing when someone hit me in the back with a Petrificus Totalus. Ba-I mean, Simpson, then transfigured these contraptions and bound my hands", Gemma finished, pointing to the handcuffs.

It was at the mention of Bart's name that the hook-nosed professor let go of her arms in shock.

Simpson? Why would he be here unless – oh Merlin's beard, he must know about the Stone! Why else would he be there? Plus, he probably roped in some reckless Gryffindor to help him, like maybe Potter or Weasley – he was talking to those two before his first Potions class. Of all the Slytherins – no, students – I would not want to obtain the stone, he would be at the very top! Dumbledore must be notified at once!

"Miss Farley, come with me", Professor Snape commanded, as they both headed to the Headmaster's Office.

While Gemma and Professor Snape were rushing to the Headmaster's Office, the quartet were slowly but steadily walking through the stone passageway, with the sound of water trickling down the walls punctuating each footstep.

This is pretty creepy, Bart thought. It's like some horror film, where anything could happen at any moment. Hopefully some creature doesn't come out and attack us, like some dragon or xenomorph or something.

Eventually, they did hear something – specifically, a rustling and clinking sound. Moreover, the sound seemed to be aerial, not ground-borne.

Sure enough, when they reached a lit chamber, it was replete with what appeared to be winged creatures, which were scooting around the room like a horde of particularly animated bees.

"Hey guys, look! There's a wooden door there! That must be our way out!" yelled Bart as he rushed forward, completely ignoring the potential threat of the winged creatures above him. He then tried an Alohomora Duo on the door. However, the door stubbornly refused to budge.

What? Why the hell doesn't that spell work? querulously thought Bart. For once, he was bereft of answers. That sense of powerlessness filled him with a great unease; he was used to solving problems that he encountered, by any means necessary.

Luckily, Harry had been paying more attention to the winged creatures.

"Look! Those winged creatures aren't birds; they're winged keys!"

Bart looked nonplussed. "Winged keys? But there are hundreds of them; they can't all fit in this keyhole."

Hermione smugly smirked, as she understood what to do. "They don't Bart; we just have to find the right key."

Bart scoffed. "Find the right key, huh? Yeah well, what do you think it's shaped like? A Butterfinger? A dildo? An amphibious landing craft?"

Ron, not cottoning onto Bart's sarcasm, answered him after he peered at the door lock. "Well, looking at this keyhole, it would be big, old-fashioned and silver."

"Yeah, thanks for the newsflash, Captain Sarcasm."

"Shut up."

Harry face-palmed in frustration at the two's interplay while Hermione rolled her eyes contemptuously. Nonetheless, she kept her eyes glued to the ceiling, as if she was looking for something, anything, which would lead them to the right key. However, Harry spotted it first.

"Look, there! That winged key is bent. That means it must have already been used. Plus it's big and silver, like Ron said."

Ron marvelled at Harry's observational skills. "Wow, Harry. Have you ever thought about trying out for our Quidditch team next year? You'd probably see the Snitch before everybody else."

Harry looked genuinely open to the idea as he put his hand on his chin, but his musings were interrupted by Bart, who said "Enough talk. Let's bring this thing down. Lis-I mean, Hermione, fire the Petrificus Totalus into the air. I'll try a Stupefy. Harry, Ron, you guys try using the Wingardium Leviosa or whatever the hell that spell's called."

The Gryffindor Trio nodded in response as the quartet fired a volley of spells up into the air. Soon enough, the winged key was hurtling towards the ground, having been hit by one of Bart's stunners. Seizing the moment, Harry sprinted towards the key at light speed, dived and caught it in his outstretched hand before throwing it to Ron. Grasping the nettle, Ron grabbed the key and shoved it in the keyhole, before letting the winged key go. They then proceeded to enter.

Unfortunately, the other winged keys chose that moment to attack the quartet, as they hurtled towards the quartet at light speed, keys pointed at them all the while.

Oh man. Those keys will cut us to bits! I have to do something! thought Bart.

"You guys go! I'll be with you in a second!"

Harry looked hesitant.

"But -"

"GO!"

Harry nodded meekly as the other Gryffindors slowly backed through the door.

Bart, meanwhile, narrowed his eyes in determination as the keys flew towards him. He had to get this next incantation just right – failure to do so would mean curtains for him, if not the others. It was with that knowledge that adrenaline overcame him as he shouted, "PROTEGO TOTALUM!"

In that instant, a magnificent translucent shield briefly made itself known before fading, as the winged keys collided with it. They fell to the ground with a resounding clink, as Bart slowly but steadily backed through the door, before quickly closing it and casting another Protego Totalum.

In an instant, he heard the sound of many keys colliding with the door, but he was now unworried, as he nonchalantly led the trio along.

Good thing Gemma taught me that.

"Bart, that was brilliant! What was that spell?" Harry gushed.

"It's a Shield Charm. Protects you from spells and punches. But that's a story for another day. Right now, we have to stop Quirrell or Snape getting the Stone."

So I can have it instead, Bart thought evilly.

While the quartet were busy doing their thing, Gemma was in Headmaster Dumbledore's office, outlining the confrontation between Bart and her.

"So obviously Simpson is aware of the Stone's existence and is trying to obtain it before Quirrell does. He's also roped some students, most likely Gryffindors, into participating in his little adventure. We have to get to him before he obtains the Stone, or gets himself killed!" Professor Snape concluded.

Bart's been associating with Gryffindors? Gemma thought with a frown. I warned him against doing that…

For his part, Headmaster Dumbledore sat back and gave them both a small, tight-lipped smile.

He knows something that I don't, thought the hook-nosed professor with annoyance. It's just like Dumbledore, keeping his secrets close to his chest.

"Yes, you are most certainly correct, Severus. It is important that we find young Bart before he meets…an unfortunate fate", the aged mage replied, sounding uncharacteristically weary as he finished the last few words. With that, he rose up from his chair and led the two Slytherins out of his office.

That boy will be the death of me, Professor Snape thought as he followed the headmaster.

Back down below, the quartet were appraising a giant chessboard. They were behind the black chessmen, facing an array of faceless white chessmen. It was clear to all concerned that they had to somehow pass these chess pieces to progress. That knowledge seemed to turn Harry and Hermione into nervous wrecks. Indeed, even Bart was a tad unsure of himself. Sure, he knew his way around a chessboard, but he knew full well that he was no match for adult chess players, thinking back to when he was checkmated by three different men at the same time.

However, Ron's expression of supreme confidence, as if for once he was actually in his element, caught Bart completely unawares.

Ron's actually a good chess player? Well, I'll be damned, thought Bart as, after whispering a few words to the black knight, the boy confidently turned around and started barking orders at Harry and Hermione, like a field commander marshalling his troops. He then turned to Bart.

"Simpson, do you know how to play chess?"

"I've played a few games in my time."

"Good, then you'll understand why I want you to be the rook."

"Bulldozing the other pieces, am I? That sounds cool."

Ron didn't bother dignifying Bart's response with an answer. Instead, he commenced the game by opening with a Sicilian Defence, as pioneered by the great Bobby Fischer. The redhead executed the move perfectly, taking several white chess pieces in a trice. From there, he simply conducted his pieces like a conductor would his orchestra. For the first time, Bart found himself genuinely impressed by the gangly Gryffindor.

Wow, how many games has he played? He could have wiped the floor with those three guys I faced, no sweat.

However, Ron's opponent proved itself to be genuinely skilled, not only taking Ron by surprise with a few unorthodox moves, but also behaving with maximum brutality towards Ron's pieces. For example, the white rook bashed a black pawn into a million pieces. This made Ron think.

Hmmm…my opponent's fighting back. I need to do something…wait, I know! Too bad I have to ask…

"Hey Simpson, I'm going to lure that pawn out using my bishop. Once I do, take that rook and smash a few pieces before my opponent can do anything."

The expression on Bart's face brightened; he always relished a chance to cause some mayhem.

"Sure thing, man."

Ron grimly nodded, executing the move before nodding at Bart, who set to work with a malicious grin, whipping out his wakizashi and slashing the opposing rook into ribbons. He then deftly did the same to several other pieces, causing chaos behind enemy lines.

However, after a momentary lapse of concentration, Ron found himself staring down the white queen, who was eyeing him like a predator would its prey.

"Guys…I have to let the queen take me", Ron stated with a heavy finality.

Harry and Hermione screamed in disapproval, while Bart pondered his options.

Well, having him out of the way will make it easier for me to grab the Stone at the end. On the other hand, I don't know what else we'll face before I get to grab the Stone. The more people I have on my side, the easier it will be to knock over anything else that's protecting the Stone.

But what can I…that's it! Why didn't I think of that earlier?

It was then that Bart acted, hitting the queen with a Confundus Charm. Instantly, the queen, forgetting which side it was representing, and indeed the rules of chess, jumped over to the white king and swept it out of the arena. Immediately, the chessmen bowed, with some white pawns picking up the queen, which was comically thrashing away, before stepping aside.

The Gryffindor trio stood there slack-jawed.

"What…what just happened?" Ron spluttered.

"I did", Bart boasted as the Gryffindor trio turned to him in shock. "Now let's go. We have a teacher to foil."

And a Stone for me to grab, Bart thought, spine tingling with excitement as he thought of himself creating enough gold to last a million lifetimes.

Ron gave Bart a resentful look. There he goes again, showing us all up. Slytherin git, he thought in vexation, but nevertheless followed him through the door.

However, as soon as they passed through, the ground shook, with massive thumps punctuating the shaking.

Ron looked petrified, his face going green. "No…no, it can't be."

Unfortunately, it very much could be. Out of the darkness stepped a large, hairy humanoid which made the troll that the quartet previously encountered look positively puny by comparison. As soon as it saw them, it gave them a malicious grin, razor sharp molars protruding all the while, before swinging a massive scythe towards them, forcing them to dive for cover.

As the giant advanced on them, Bart's inventive mind suddenly conjured up an idea. He turned to the Gryffindor trio.

"Distract it", he ordered, before turning left and disappearing. The trio complied by shooting spells at the giant while running right.

"Mmmm...humans", the giant growled as it lumbered after them, obviously savouring the idea of tasting human flesh.

Safely cloaked, Bart smirked as he brandished his wakizashi and ran towards the beast's posterior. Just as he reached the brute's Achilles tendon, he dived to his left, but on the way stretched his sword out, slashing the tendon in a perfect half-circle motion. He then landed and rolled on the ground before eventually stopping, with bloodied wakizashi outstretched.

He peered up to his right just in time to see the giant fall on its back, creating a massive earthquake that threatened to collapse the room.

Quickly, he de-cloaked himself and frantically ran towards his allies.

"Come on! This place is going to collapse!" he shouted.

After standing in shock, they heeded his words as they ran out of the room, just in time for the ceiling to fall in, reducing the room behind them to complete rubble.

Hermione looked behind them dismally.

"There's no way out!" she shrieked, before turning to Bart and shaking him by the lapels in rage. "Bart! What in the world have you done?"

Ay carumba! What is it with women shaking me tonight? Bart thought before pulling himself away and peering at the ruins, dread filling his insides all the while. He then took a deep breath.

"OK. Don't worry about it. There's got to be some other way out", he replied, more to convince himself than the others. "Now come on – the Stone's still up for grabs."

As they were walking along, a giant suit of armour leapt down and blocked their progress. Obviously this time slashing its Achilles tendon would have no effect. There remained only one solution…

"Confundo…you will forget that you are meant to be guarding whatever it is you're meant to be guarding", muttered Bart, face screwed up in concentration. Eventually, the guard stood up and walked off to the side, allowing them to pass through.

"Piece of cake", Bart cockily effused as the quartet finally found themselves staring at a table with seven differently shaped bottles arranged in a line. As soon as they stepped over the threshold between them and the table, black fire sprang up both behind and in front of them.

"We're trapped", said Ron, voice betraying fear. Harry looked similarly unnerved; even Bart was a touch nervous. However, this time Hermione kept her nerve as she read the roll of paper next to the bottles before appraising them.

"Hmmm…if I'm reading this paper correctly, then five of these bottles contain different types of harmful potions. One creates a burning sensation on the insides, one sends you into a near-death state, one chokes you to death, one induces lockjaw and the last one seems to be a poison. That means that two of these bottles have the potion which will allow two of us to safely pass through the black fire."

"Which ones?" Bart asked.

Hermione put her hand on her chin for a moment, lost in thought, before walking over to the two smallest bottles.

"These two – they're of identical size and the potion inside seems to be identical."

OK, here's my chance, Bart thought.

The potion then flew into Bart's outstretched hand, after which he sculled the entire contents. As soon as he did so, he felt an icy, frigid sensation overcome his body. Indeed, it was like his veins were turning to ice, as he descended onto his knees and shivered involuntarily.

Oh man, this feels colder than any winter I've been through!

Eventually though, the shivering subsided and he stood up before immediately regaining his composure.

"Nothing to it", the mage smoothly stated. "Now who wants to drink the other bottle?"

"Well, it's not like we can use it to go back", Hermione noted, resentfully glaring at Bart all the while, "so one of us may as well accompany you as you go forward."

After a moment, Harry took the bottle and examined it.

"I'll drink it. I owe Voldemort one for killing my parents. Maybe if I defeat Snape or Quirrell, I can stop him from coming back to life for good."

Hermione and Ron looked shocked. The former even stepped forward before talking.

"Harry…are you sure? Once you go past those flames…you might not be able to come back."

Harry responded with a steely, determined glare.

"Absolutely. I'd rather die than live in a world ruled by Voldemort. Besides, you're smarter than me, Hermione. Any resistance against Voldemort will need you more than it needs me."

Hermione sighed heavily. "Harry, there's more to life than 'smarts', especially book-smarts. You have something that book-smarts can never buy – bravery."

Hey, what about me? I drank the damn bottle first! Bart thought with some vexation.

Harry smiled in response. "Well, if I don't come back…it's been great knowing you and Ron."

Hermione hugged him tightly upon hearing that, tears streaming down her face all the while. Ron also came over and hugged him.

"It's been great knowing you, mate", Ron added huskily.

"You too, Ron."

Ron and Hermione then turned to Bart, who was watching the proceedings with a neutral expression on his face. Tentatively, Hermione came over to him and extended her hand.

"Thank you for your help, Bart. Without you we wouldn't have survived, never mind gotten this far."

Bart appraised her for a moment before smiling and shaking her hand.

"No problem, Hermione. You also did your bit." To help me get the Stone.

Hermione smiled at how Bart for once didn't call him by his sister's name, when Ron shuffled over and grudgingly extended his hand.

"Well, good luck Simpson. You might be a Slytherin wanker, but you saved my hide back there."

Bart gave him a tight-lipped smile before replying, "You always were an asshole, Ron", after which he shook his hand. He then turned to Harry, who was smiling at the goodwill displayed between Bart and Ron. In his mind, it was certainly a refreshing change from their usual uneasy relations.

"You ready to go, Harry?" The sooner I get that Stone, the better.

Without reply, Harry downed the bottle's contents. Like Bart, he too seemed to be struggling with the feeling of his veins turning to ice, as he sank to his knees and shivered uncontrollably. Eventually though, after taking a few deep breaths, he picked himself up off the floor.

"Are-are you OK, Harry?" Bart asked, feeling somewhat concerned.

Harry gave him a determined stare in response.

"I've never felt better", he grimly replied, feeling at that moment like he could climb Mt. Everest.

Bart nodded. "Let's go then."

With that, Bart and Harry jumped through the flames as if they weren't there, while Hermione and Ron looked on.

"If you two don't come back alive, I'll kill you both", Hermione muttered under her breath.

Author's Notes for Chapter Fifteen

Bart loses three different chess games simultaneously in 'The PTA Disbands'.

I added more challenges 1) to mitigate Bart's greater skill and because 2) in canon IMO the challenges were less security and more puzzles. I decided to add more security (e.g. – the suit of armour) for that reason.

bauers374: Yes, there is. It is because Bart is the protagonist of this story instead of Harry, plus Bart is a 'hotter', more aggressive character than Harry, who in this book plays the restrained 'straight man' by comparison. So where the cooler Mars would symbolise Harry, the hotter Mercury would symbolise Bart. Hope that makes sense.