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AN: Thank you for all the reviews, favorites, and follows. They mean a lot to me. Let me know what you guys think. I love know what goes on when you read my story. If you liked something, if you hated it, if you guess right or wrong about where the story is going. I enjoy it all. When I don't get many reviews then I think y'all hated it and just didn't want to tell me.
Chapter Six: The Celebration
The moon was high in the night sky. Half a dozen fires were burning brightly around the camp. Makeshift tables were sitting in the shape of a U, each loaded with food, and spirits. The children had long since been put to bed, leaving the adults to celebrate free of worry.
A makeshift stage and been built at the head of the clearing, overlooking the celebrating people. Lexa's throne had been moved from her tent and was sitting in the center of the stage, partially hidden behind a table. There were a total of four chairs on both sides of Lexa, each filled. Indra was sitting in the chair to Lexa's left, followed by Ryder, Marcus, and Bellamy. To Lexa's right, were Clarke, Abby, Raven, and Octavia.
Indra had not been happy with the seating arrangements, but didn't put up a fight about it. Lexa wanted the leaders of Skaikru and the heroes of the mountain at the front of the celebration.
It had taken many promises to Abby for the Chancellor to allow Raven to make the trip to Ton DC, much to the injured woman's excitement. Raven had talked through the entire trip from her spot in the cart. She had many Skaikru companions to talk to though, as Lexa had also convinced Abby to allow the remaining hundred to accompany them as well.
Lexa had yet to have a chance to speak with Abby about the issue with the remaining hundred, but planned to in the morning. For tonight she wanted the Skaikru and her people come together for a night of celebrations. To allow those who condemned Clarke for her actions to see firsthand what her leader saved with her actions. The families that were reunited, and the future torment Clarke saved her people.
In front of Clarke and Lexa sat many gifts that had been presented to them by her people. Handcrafted blades, newly crafted sword for each of them, furs, clothing, cloths, paper, charcoal, and much more. There were smaller piles in front of Abby, (for her healing their people), Bellamy (For infiltrating the mountain), Octavia (because word had spread that she had been the one who was with Clarke when she entered the mountain), and Raven (for blowing up the dam, allowing their people to be freed.)
Clarke was leaning to the left of her chair heavily. She was feeling much better than she had, but was still weak. She was thankfully keeping all of her food down, and used that fact to convince her mother to remove the IV bag for the night. The needle and tube were still in her arm, but were hidden beneath her long sleeved shirt.
She was baffled by the amount of gifts, and was humble about accepting them. Lexa could tell that Clarke was struggling with the amount of respect she was being shown. The mountain still haunted her, but there was a level of understanding in the respect. It was like a push and pull with her. On one hand she didn't want the praise from them because she had taken so many lives. On the other hand she could see firsthand what her actions did. By slaying the mountain she had given people their lives back.
Lexa had watched the remaining hundred closely throughout the feast. They had all managed to huddle together around one of the fires. At first they were quiet. They ate their food in silence, but their faces lit up at the taste of the food. The people from Ton DC had gone out of their way to prepare every dish they knew how to cook. From pies, to pastries, stews, pastas, and bread.
Lexa was pleased to see them enjoying the food. With trade routes that were set up with the Collation, her people ate well. Her warriors were the only ones who kept to a diet of just meat, nuts, and berries, and that was only during time of war.
After Clarke's people, (which is what Lexa started calling the remaining hundred,) finished eating, they each were handed a mug full of spirits from various grounders on Lexa's orders. She wanted them to feel welcome among her people. Once they had a sufficient amount of spirits in them, they all seemed to lighten up a little. They talked freely between each other, and then they slowly started to talk to Trigedakru who could speak English. Most were around their age, but a few were the older people who were curious about the people who fell from the sky.
The only person who remained sitting at the campfire not engaging with anybody was Jasper. After exchanging a questioning glance with Raven to see if this was who she had mentioned earlier, Lexa excused herself from the table. She grabbed a jug from the refreshments table, and a clay mug for herself and sat next to the boy. He looked up at her and froze.
Lexa filled her mug up, and then handed the jug to Jasper. She looked up at the table to see Clarke watching her intently. She looked back at the boy, who had yet to fill his mug. "Drink," she said simply. As if on auto pilot, he filled the mug, and then handed the jug back to her.
Lexa had originally been planning on not talking to Jasper like she had with Abby, Octavia, and Raven. She had figured that it was too soon after the heart ache to try and ease his anger at Clarke. Seeing him sitting there alone while everybody else was enjoying the celebration, made her rethink her original plan.
"I have been told that you lost somebody you loved in the mountain," Lexa said.
Jasper looked at her sideways, a snarky comment about Clarke killing Maya on his lips, but remembered that Lexa could kill him in a second. "Maya."
"Maya. Clarke mentioned her while we planned. She was helping Bellamy, was she not?"
"She was," Jasper said quietly. He brought his mug to his lips and down the sweet liquid in a full gulps. He brought the mug down to rest between his knees, and stared at the bottom. "She helped keep us alive."
"Is she why you aren't celebrating with you people?"
"Don't really feel like celebrating the death of people who helped us," Jasper said snidely.
"Then celebrate the sacrifice they made. Celebrate the live that were save, instead of the lives lost."
Jasper looked at Lexa with anger burning in his eyes. "Maya died because Clarke killed her."
Lexa calmly said, "Maya's death was ordered long before her birth. It was ordered over fifty years ago when my people first started going missing. Her fate was always to die in that mountain. My people believe that we are born for a single purpose. Perhaps her purpose was you. To make sure that you stayed alive so you can fill your destiny. Celebrate the life she lived. Celebrate the good things she brought to your life. Celebrate the life you get to live."
Lexa filled his mug, and then stood. She left Jasper sitting by the fire, and returned the jug to the table. She began walking among her people, stopping every now and again to converse with small groups of people.
The adults from both clans were wearier of each other than the young ones. They were keeping themselves more segregated. There were a few Arkers who had been on the mountain who were conversing with some of the warriors they had meet, and a few Trigedakru villagers who were actively seeking out Arkers to speak with.
Lexa had hoped that the two clans would come together on their own, but it seems as though they were going to need a push. She went back to her spot next to Clarke and whispered something in her ear. Indra stood up, and disappeared. A few minutes later she returned, and as she retook her seat soft drums started sounding around the camp. Clarke looked around in awe as the strumming of a guitar was added to the drums, followed by violins, and wooden flutes.
Lexa smiled at Clarke, and stood up. She offered her hand to Clarke, and softly asked, "May I have this dance?"
Clarke blushed and smiled softly. She took the offered hand and stood up. She allowed Lexa to escort her to the small open area in front of their table. It was the perfect size to use as a makeshift dance floor. Lexa subtly gesture to Ryder and Lincoln to do the same, before turning to Clarke. She placed both her hands on Clarke's hips, and Clarke laid her arms around her neck. She pulled Clarke close so that their bodies were barely an inch apart. They began to sway to the soft beat.
At the table, Ryder was lifting Raven up and carrying her to the dance floor, with loud protests from the woman. "I'll dance with you, but you need to set me down," She exclaimed.
For which he replied, "We can dance with you in my arms." Raven huffed, but seemed to enjoy Ryder twirling her around the dance floor in large circles.
Miller's dad braved approaching Indra, and asked her to dance with him. She looked at him with a stoic look, but agreed. Clarke swore she saw a smile grace the woman's lips a little while later.
A young grounder woman approached Marcus, and asked his to dance, which he gratefully agreed to. Abby was surprised when a female warrior approached her for a dance, but she smiled and accepted. Soon the dance floor was filled with dancing pairs, most of which were a mix of the two clans.
Clarke looked into Lexa's eyes with a smile. Even Jasper had joined them when a Trikru boy their age had asked to dance with him.
"This is better than I could have imagined Earth," She said quietly, and then laid her head on Lexa's shoulder.
"Are you tired?" Lexa asked.
"Yes, but I don't want to leave. I just want to keep dancing with you," Clarke said.
Her breath tickled Lexa's neck. "Whatever you want."
"Our people are dancing with each other. They seem to be getting along. That's all I want tonight," Clarke said. "Thank you."
"For what?"
"For everything. For taking care of me. For inviting damn near all of my people tonight. For dancing with me, and getting them to do the same." Clarke lifted her head, and looked into Lexa's eyes. "For being you."
"Always," Lexa said. They danced for a little while, but retired to their chairs when Clarke became too weak to keep going. The sat together and watched their people mingling. Dancing and talking together.
"This is amazing," Clarke said.
"This is nothing compared to the feast that will be held in Polis upon my return," Lexa said. "I have word that hunting parties are already out seeking meat for the feast. All of the clan leaders will be there to celebrate. The entire city will be lit with lights, and loud with talk and music. Whole villages are said to be traveling to the capitol to join the celebrations."
"It sounds amazing," Clarke said.
"You slayed our greatest enemy. This year's harvest festival is going to be like none before. People are free to travel without the shadow casted over us by the mountain." Lexa gently placed her hand over Clarke's. "I want you to come with me."
Clarke looked at Lexa in surprise, although she wasn't sure why she was surprised. Lexa had already asked her to travel to Polis with her before the battle.
"Your people are welcome to accompany you," Lexa said. "You can get to meet the other leaders, and their people. We can discuss trades with them, and a new stronger alliance."
Clarke looked at her people. They looked happy. For the first time since they landed they weren't being hunted. They had hope for their survival. No. They had hope for good lives, and she wanted to keep it that way.
She looked at Lexa. There was something between them. She knew that, and despite not being ready to explore the possibility of them being more than friends, she wasn't ready to separate from her. Besides, Polis sounded amazing to her.
"When do we leave?"
"We leave in six days. The trip to Polis will take almost two days by horse, but there is much to see on the way. There is a village about a day's trip from here that lines the road with lighted pumpkins in celebration of the harvest."
"Jack-o-lanterns?" Clarke asked surprised.
"Is that what your people call them?" Clarke nodded. "Why"
Clarke snorted at the adorable looked on Lexa's face. "I have no clue," she chuckled. "I've only read about them in books. They were part of a celebration called Halloween."
"Hal-o-ween," Lexa said slowly. "What was that?"
"It's the last day of October. Original the holiday was celebrated a Wiccan holiday to celebrate the night that the veil between the living and the dead was thinnest. The last hundred years before the bombs fell it was just a fun way for kids to dress up as monsters and cartoon characters and go around to peoples doors asking for treats, and for adults to try and scare each other with haunted houses and scary movies."
Lexa looked confused. Clarke laughed. "Haunted houses just have people jumping out at you while you walked through a maze to try and scare you, and I have no clue how to explain movies to you. When the ark's systems are restored I'll have Monty see if the movies are still in there. If so, I will show you. If not then I try and come up with a way to explain it to you."
"Then I look forward to the day the Ark is restored. Do you celebrate this holiday?"
"In a way. We couldn't really decorate the ark like they did before the bombs. There wasn't enough art supplies to fashion decorations, and we didn't have costumes. During the month of October they did play every Halloween movie ever created, though. The only holiday we actually celebrated on the ark was Unity day, and that's only because it was created on the Ark to celebrate the day twelve stations became one station."
"We celebrate many holidays on the ground. Some that were created before the bombs that were passed down from the survivors, and a few that were created after. There is a record of which were old and which are new, but it doesn't says what the old ones were once called. Only their new names."
"You have books?"
"There are very few books that survived the bombs, and none that I can read. I can only read Trigedasleng. There are a great number of books written in Trigdasleng. There are many diaries of previous Heda's. Then there is the record books. There are a few men and woman who have been writing about legends passed down through the generations. I am often gifted with these special books. They are very entertaining, especially when the author creates a new story from the legends."
"I wish I could read Trigedasleng. I loved to read as much as I love to draw. The ark has an archive of every book ever written, but I don't know if the computers survived or not."
"Then I will teach you to speak and read my language so that you can enjoy my books as well," Lexa said.
"I would like that," Clarke said. She looked out over the crowd, with a smile upon her face. The tension that had filled Ton DC at the beginning of the night seemed to have leaked away entirely. Now she just saw happy people.
Raven, Octavia, and Lincoln were sitting at one of the many fires. The camps festivities were still going but many had retired for the night, including Clarke. All three of them were filled with spirits, making both girls giggly, much to Lincoln's amusement. The watched as Lexa was making her way around the camp, stopping at each small group of people and chatting with them before moving onto the next group.
Most of the Skaikru adults had already retired to one of the three tents set up for them. Leaving most of the hundred left to mingle with a surprising number of Trigedakru woman and men.
"Celebrations are meant to go all night," Lincoln told them. "Only parents with very young goufa retire early from celebrations. Older children know that a morning after celebration they are to leave their parent be, and join each other for a morning feast. It's their own little celebration. The guards keep watch over them until their parents wake."
"Sounds like they have fun," Raven said.
"I think we had more fun," Octavia said.
"Nope, I think Clarke and Lexa had the most fun," Raven countered.
Lincoln groaned inwardly, knowing exactly where the conversation was heading.
Raven dropped her voice lower so Lexa couldn't hear them talking. She may be drunk but she had enough sense to do that. "Did you see the way they were looking at each other all night? It was like they were eye fucking each other."
"Eww, don't need the visual Raven." Octavia grimaced at the visual that just popped into her head. She sighed inwardly because she damn well that there was something going on between them, but she could share that with the group without breaking Clarke's trust. "I think they had a god night. Lexa asking Clarke to dance definitely broke the tension."
"I think there is more going on there. They were making heart eyes at each other all night, and Lexa has been tense ever since Abby took Clarke back to her tent."
The three of them looked over at the Commander, who was standing with Miller, Harper, and a grounder boy they didn't know. She was talking to them quietly, with a drink in her hand, but it was very clear that Lexa was tense. Too tense for somebody who had several drinks.
Lexa chose that moment to look over at them. They tried hard to make it look as though they hadn't been staring at her, but their failure became real as the commander made her way over to them. Lexa sat down on the next to Raven.
"Are you enjoying your night?" Lexa asked, slurring her words heavily. It was very clear that she had quite a bit to drink.
"We are, Heda," Lincoln said.
"What do you think of our celebrations?" Lexa asked Raven and Octavia.
"It's nothing like a party on the ark," Raven said, and then smiled. "The foods better."
"Yes I suppose it is. Clarke has expressed her love for the food many times. Even something simple like dried boar and panther."
"We didn't have meat on the ark. We just had plants and vegetables," Raven said.
"I can see why you love it then," Lexa said. "The food here tonight was spectacular, but it is just a small amount of what people have to offer. At the Harvest Festival, there will be food from every clan. Fish, sea food, many more different kinds of pastries, meats from bears and wolves and chickens, spices from other lands, and much more."
"It sounds amazing," Octavia said.
"It is. The Harvest festival last for weeks, and it is the only time a years that every clan is in Polis. There is much to trade for and buy. The furs from Azgeda bears are the warmest in the lands, and the festival is the only time they trade them."
"Trikru has the finest wood for building the huts and fire wood," Lincoln said. "There are villages that spend the entire year cutting down trees, and replanting them."
"During the second week of the celebrations, the clan's warriors compete in games," Lexa said.
"Do you compete in the games?" Octavia asked Lexa.
"I only compete once a winner has been declared," Lexa said.
"So how do the games work?" Raven asked.
Since Lincoln was less intoxicated then Lexa, he took it amongst himself to explain for Lexa. "The first two day of the competition are two choose each clans champion. Anybody who wishes to represent their clan can compete, and at the end of the second day there is two left for each clan. After that there are four days of games. There is a day full of games to test your strength and endurance. A day for homemaking skills and hunting, and fishing. There is a day for fighting, and there is a full day of throwing things at targets. Arrows, knives, swords, axes. The top six champions are chosen for the final two days of games."
"The winner gets the honor of competing against me in a game of my choosing," Lexa said. "Nobody has beaten me, yet. Not in the six years I've been Heda."
"It is a great honor to compete again you though. That is true prize," Lincoln said.
"With the mountain slain, this year's festival is going to be extra special," Lexa said. "I have already asked Clarke to accompany to Polis. I have already told Clarke that she may bring whoever she chooses, but I would like to extend the offer to you myself."
Raven's eyes lit up at the invitation. For the first time since she stepped foot on the ground, the possibilities that Earth provided seemed real and magical. "When do we leave?"
"We depart for Polis in six days," Lexa said.
Raven's excitement bleed from her body slowly. "Abby will never clear me for travel in a week."
"If you wish to join is, then I will make it happen," Lexa said. "The people of Polis are working hard to get the festival prepared for our arrival. The festival is usually held just after the first frost lays on the ground, but due to the war it was postponed. Many had feared that they would have to wait until next year. When news of Clarke's victory reached the people, they began preparing. I will make sure that as many Skaikru can join us."
Lexa drank the rest of the contents in her mug, and then stood. "Enjoy the rest of your night. I think I am going to retire."
"Reshop Heda," Lincoln said, at the same time as the girls said, "Goodnight."
They watched as the Commander walked across the village to her tent, and slipped into her tent. Octavia then turned to Lincoln and looked at him in confusion.
"You never told me about this festival," Octavia said accusingly.
"We have been at war. There isn't much time to tell you about every good thing we have on the ground, ai hodnes. I was much more concerned with you knowing the threats that come from war and breaking our laws. There is much to tell you. Many celebrations, and many traditions."
Raven's wide smile showed the happiness that was flooding her chest for all to see. It was the kind of happiness that sprang from hope. The Grounder leader had invited them to the biggest grounder celebration of the year. A celebration that made the grounders sound like humans, instead of blood thirsty heathens. Maybe there was a good life waiting for them on the other side of this messed up war.
Or her happiness was just stemming from the copious amounts of spirits she had consumed.
"I think I'm going to bed," Raven told the couple happily, and as if she had summoned him by magic, Ryder appeared next to her. "Would you look at that? My very own grounder."
Ryder smiled at Raven as he bent down and picked it up. She giggled in his arms and then waved at her friends.
She wrapped her arms around his neck, and softly said, "Thank you."
"For what?" He asked, looking down at her briefly.
"For making me feel like a Princess instead of a cripple tonight," Raven said, and then laid her head on his shoulder.
"It has been my honor Raven kom Skaikru. My brother and mother were taken by the mountain. Any Skaikru who aided in my people's safe return, and in our vengeance is a friend to me. You helped make our lands safe for our children again."
"Do you have children?" Raven asked.
"Sha. I have a small daughter. She lives in Polis with her mother. I am excited to return home to be with her. You helped save her future."
Raven looked into the man's face, and noticed something she hadn't noticed before. She saw the look her father always wore when he talked about her. A look of a fathers love. "How do you say you're welcome?"
"Pro," Ryder said.
"Pro," Raven repeated. "You are pro."
Ryder smirked at Raven's mixed usage. "Here we are, Raven Kom Skaikru." He slipped into the tent to the far right. It was the one that most of the kids had claimed. She pointed out which spot was hers, and he gently set her down.
"Sleep well," he told her quietly.
"Good night, Ryder," Raven said, and then laid back on her cot. She was far too drunk to care about trying to escape her brace. She didn't have any clothing to change into, so she was force to sleep in the jeans anyways.
There were about two dozen bed rolls laid out on the tent floor. All with heavy furs for the occupants to crawl into. Raven was the only one who had a raised cot, since sleeping that low to the floor would hurt Raven, and the person who was carrying her around. The furs on the cot were warm and inviting, and she sighed when she slipped between them. They were so soft to. This was nothing like the blankets she had on the Ark, which were holey and torn from a hundred years of use. The orange blankets Clarke and Bellamy had found in the bunker were nice, but not nearly as soft and warm as the furs.
It didn't take long for her to fall into a deep sleep.
Clarke was awoken by the sounds of soft thuds. She opened her eyes groggily to see why she was awake, and nearly choked on her own saliva when she saw the woman in front of her. Lexa was standing just outside the private area, struggling to get her pants off her legs. She was naked from the waist up, and her pants were pushed down to mid-thigh. Lexa was attempting to get the pants off her legs, but every time she bent down to pull them off, she lost her balance sending her into the support beam with a soft thud.
Clarke was about to sit up and go to the clearly drunk brunette when she heard Lexa huff. She had to stifle a laugh when Lexa plopped to the floor and pushed her pants off her legs. She stood up again, (with far more agility than a drunk woman should have), and gave Clarke an unintentional view of her naked body. Apparently grounders didn't wear any kind of underwear.
Clarke allowed her eyes to admire Lexa's body lustfully. She raked her eyes down Lexa's sexy body, paying close attention to her pert luscious breast, before moving down past her ab to the surprisingly bare mound between her thighs. Her eyes shifted back up to Lexa's face, and blushed when she found Lexa staring at her with a soft smirk on her lips.
"I hope my body is pleasing to your eyes," Lexa said, with a heavy slur to her words.
Clarke unconsciously let her eyes drift downward again. "Very."
Lexa stepped closer to the bed. "Good. I am glad it pleases you," Lexa slurred even heavier. In the morning she was going to regret downing three cups of the spirits the Skaikru had brought to the feast.
Clarke squeaked in surprise when Lexa stumbled to the bed, and gracelessly climbed over her. The woman was still stark naked. Lexa didn't seem to notice this however. She simply crawled under the furs, and cuddled into Clarke's side.
"Lexa?" Clarke was slightly amused by the brunette, but she was also very aware that Lexa was lying beside her with nothing on.
"Sha Clarke," Lexa said. Her head remained on Clarke's shoulder, and she had her eyes closed.
"How much spirits did you have to drink?"
"I had quite a bit to drink tonight," Lexa said. She opened her eyes, and looked up at Clarke. "Why do you ask? Did you wish for me to have none?"
"No. I'm glad you enjoyed yourself. You deserved to let lose a little," Clarke reassured her. "I was just asking because I wasn't sure if you were aware that you are naked."
Lexa looked down at her body, and back up to Clarke with an apologetic look on her face. "I'm sorry, Clarke. I don't always sleep in clothing when I am home. My spirits addled mind must have forgotten that I must to wear something here. I'll go put my nightgown on."
She tried to move, but Clarke stopped her. "You…ah… You don't have to do that. I am in your bed, and if you want to sleep without clothing you should be able to. Besides, you looked like you were having trouble working the clothing tonight."
"I made you a promise of time, and sleeping disrobed dishonors that promise," Lexa said.
Clarke smiled at Lexa. Even when she is clearly drunk, the woman cares about Clarke's comfort then her own. Lexa was looking at her with a sad eyes, as if she had just down the worst thing in the world to Clarke, and it made her heart melt.
Clarke wasn't sure what drove her to lean forward and draw the brunette into a kiss, but she knew that it felt right. She may have needed more time until she give herself to Lexa completely, but there was nothing stopping them from exploring those feeling.
The kiss was tentative at first, but quickly grew deeper. Lexa's drunken mind went blank when the blonde's lips touched hers, leaving only her bodies desire to be with Clarke. She pushed her body up and moved her naked torso so it was flushed against Clarke's chest. She placed her left hand on Clarke's hip, and gently played with the skin she found peeking from beneath her shirt.
Clarke moaned as Lexa's hand slipped under her shirt, and traveled north. Her brain was no longer thinking about the mountain, or Finn, or the victims of the missile. The only thing that was running through her mind was how lovely Lexa's touch was. How her skin tingled everywhere the brunette touched her. How a flood a blood rushed to her center, urging her to kiss more, to touch any exposed skin she could. Without thinking about what she was doing, Clarke push Lexa onto her back and straddled the brunette naked hips.
A cry escaped Clarke's lips with the sudden movement, sobering both girls. The IV (which Abby had replaced before she headed to bed), was tugged tightly around Clarke's arm, pulling at the needle. Thankfully Abby's idea to wrap the cord around Clarke's arm to keep her from tearing the needle out again was successful. The needle moving under her skin still hurt though.
Lexa took a deep breath to settle her raging body, and gently laid her hands on Clarke's hips. She guided Clarke off her, and helped her to lay next to her. "Are you okay?" she questioned. Her word were still slurred, but Lexa's eyes showed no hint of her mind being addled by the spirits.
Clarke looked deep into Lexa's eyes, before inspecting her arm. There was a tiny amount of blood seeping through the cloth holding the needle in place, but not enough to concern her. "I'm okay." She looked back up at Lexa. "I'm sorry."
"Why?"
"I shouldn't have kissed you," Clarke told her. "Your drunk, and I'm just… I don't know what I am. I don't know what I feel anymore. It's all a jumbled mess, and me kissing you just confuses things. Where that was leading confuses things."
"I am the one who is sorry, Clarke," Lexa said, and then crawled over Clarke to get out of the bed. She stumbled into the main room, and returned a minute later wearing a long black dressing gown. She rarely wore it when she was away from the capitol, but she was far too drunk to try and put pants on. She had a hard enough time trying to get a pair off.
Lexa sat on the bed, and picked up Clarke's hand. "I should have dressed before coming to bed."
"I forgive you for that. You are a bit inebriated, and I can understand forgetting to put clothing on. I shouldn't have taken advantage of you by kissing you."
"Nowe," Lexa said, slipping back into her native tongue. She then leaned forward and gently kissed Clarke. "I may be inebriated, but you could never do anything to me that I don't want you to do." Lexa laid down next to Clarke, and pulled her into her arms. "I enjoyed that kiss. Never apologize for the pleasure you give me."
Lexa laid her head on Clarke's shoulder, and it wasn't long after that when Clarke heard soft snores coming from the woman. Sleep was a little more elusive for Clarke, but she eventually drifted off into a deep sleep.
Clarke awoke in the early hours of the morning from yet another nightmare. Strong arms, were wrapped around her waist, and her body was leaning backwards into Lexa's. She laid there relishing in the comfort that Lexa gave her. Even while she slept Lexa help that power over her.
Her mind drifted away from the vivid nightmare, and on to the night before. The Lexa from the feast had been a different Lexa. She had been softer, less guarded. Clarke could see that Lexa had broken from her duties and allowed herself to enjoy the people around her. She wondered if this was the Lexa that the people of Polis got to see.
She thought about the dance they had shared. It was something straight out of the movies, only better. Lexa had managed to make her heart swoon, and bring their people together with a simplicity of a dance. A soft smile graced her lips when Lexa shifted behind her, and mumbled quietly in her sleep. Every once in a while a word would form on her lips, but Clarke couldn't understand what was being said.
She rolled over slowly, trying hard to not jostle the sleeping woman too much. Thankfully Lexa just shifted backwards slightly, allowing Clarke to lay her head on Lexa's shoulders. She snuggled closely to the brunette.
She though back to just a few hours before, and the kisses they shared. The intimacy of it. Her heart filled with content as she thought about how sweet Lexa had been about it. She craved the woman like nothing before. She longed for Lexa to be near her when the brunette was away, and relished in every moment they were together. It scared her how quickly the brunette had entered her heart, and how much she began relying on her.
People she cared for always ended up getting hurt because of her. She was scared to let Lexa completely in, only to lose her. There was still so much going on inside of her. Her mind was still reeling from the first two months on the ground, and everything she had done to keep her people safe. She feared that her fractured mind might hurt Lexa far worse than their enemies. What if she never got over what she did? What if the pain of all those death slowly killed her? Lexa had already lost one love, she didn't want Lexa to have to go through that kind of pain again.
Clarke's troubled mind slowly feel back into a fitful sleep. Her worries about her relationship with Lexa seeping into her dreams, turning them into nightmares. Instead of her reliving her crimes, she was forced to kill Lexa. First she dreamed that Lexa was on the Arc. Lexa was in an airlock they used for to float people. She stood tall and their eyes locked just a second before the outer doors opened, and she was sucked out into space.
The dream faded from inside the Arc, to the lands outside Camp Jaha. Lexa was tied to the pole where she killed Finn. The brunette was looking at her with tears in her eyes. Clarke could feel the knife in her hand. She could feel as the knife slid into Lexa's chest, the blood spilling out over her hand.
Loud ringing, and sounds of screaming were all that Clarke could hear. There were fires, and rubble everywhere. The smoke and dust made it hard to see. Clarke was panicking, and she looked around at the destruction in Ton DC. Her eye scanning for her missing companion. Lexa wasn't next to her like she was supposed to be. She searched, and searched. Her heart rate peeking in fear, until finally she spots her. Lexa is lying in the center of the village. Her eyes are open, her mouth is dropped slightly, and a look of fear adorned her beautiful features. A spike from the old world ruins as sticking out of Lexa's chest.
Clarke ran towards Lexa as fast as she could and was suddenly in the Mountain. She was in the control room with her gun raised at Lexa. She fired the shot, and Lexa's lifeless body dropped to the floor. The scene chanced again and Clarke found herself in the dining hall, with a burnt and bleeding Lexa in her arms. Lexa was looking up at her with tears in her eyes, as she struggled for breath. She felt hopeless, and angry because she had caused it. She had killed her.
The dream faded again. This time Clarke was standing in a room she had never seen before. It was large, with a bed and a few chairs. There were candles everywhere, and big glassless windows letting light in. She was standing in front of Murphy who was chained to chair. Her arms were raised, and she could hear herself talking to a bald man across the room. He pulled a gun out, he was saying something that Clarke didn't comprehend. He waved the gun at her and then fired. Clarke ran across the room trying to dodge that bullet. There was another shot. She threw something at him and ran for the double glass doors. The door closest to her opened at the same time the gun went off again. Clarke's heart seized in her chest when she saw Lexa standing in the doorway with a bullet hole in her chest. Lexa was staring at her in shock, as she felt the bleeding wound. Lexa dropped to the floor.
Clarke awoke screaming. The dream had felt so real. Like it had really happened but it hadn't. The beginning of the dream had, but not he last part. It had felt so real, and yet it couldn't be real. It couldn't. Clarke laid back down. Lexa had been bleeding black. That's how she knew the dream was just that. A dream.
Lexa was looking at her in concern. Clarke rarely woke from a dream screaming, but when she did, the nightmare was a bad one.
"I'm okay," Clarke told her. "Go back to sleep. The sun is barely up."
Lexa pulled Clarke close, and kissed her forehead. "I wish you would let Nyko give you the sleep aide."
"The nightmares are your mind way of working through things it been through. Masking them could make it worse," Clarke said.
"And sleep deprivation could hurt you more," Lexa said.
"You help me sleep," Clarke admitted. "You make the nightmares bearable."
"Then I am here for you as long as you need," Lexa said. "Try and sleep some more. I will be here if your dreams attack."
Clarke relaxed into Lexa's arms, but didn't let herself fall asleep again. The events of the nightmare play over and over again in her mind. Lexa's presence was comforting, but no matter how hard Clarke tried, she couldn't shake the feelings created by the dreams.