The first thing I did after exiting that horrible zombie dungeon was to scrub myself clean. Damn corpses and stupid as hell boss. Really, who the hell places a CHARGER from Left For Dead as the boss of the FIRST dungeon?!

The less I speak about the daggers that broke against his thick-as-hell arm, the better. It's practically a miracle that I could beat it up thanks to all the points I put in DEX.

Plopping down on my couch with an exhausted sigh, I remember that not everything sucked.

I smirk at the 8 levels I gained by defeating the boss on my first try. A nice bank of 40 Stat Points to spend at my desire~

And that's not all. I got honest-to-God Gacha Tokens! My inner gambler is begging to roll them all, so I do!

Rolling 5 Gacha Tokens…

Success!

X3 Common Rolls…

X1 Rare Pull.

X1 Legendary Pull!

''HOLY FUCK! LET'S GO!'' I can't contain my excitement as I pump my hands in the air. I don't even bother to check the common pulls, those always suck so bad. First, I go to the rare one, just to leave the sweet, sweet SSR for last!

[Quickdraw (Perk)].

No matter how complicated it seems, you always manage to take the first action. This perk allows you to act first, being that attacking or escaping. Upgrading the DEX stat will make this Perk more powerful.

Huh… Well, it's not bad. It certainly falls into the 'Rare' category. Maybe I can play an assassin build? Compliment this with some kind of stealth ability and 'always strike first'?

[Legendary Gun (Rising Of The Shield Hero)].

Legends tell the tales of the Four Cardinal weapons of legend. This is not one of them, however. The multiverse is as vast as infinity itself. So, it's not weird to think there's also an iteration in which a bow gets replaced by a gun. This is one such iteration.

My eyes widen in shock and I pull the weapon from my inventory right away. The powerful artifact glows a soft orange, the same color as the gem that's placed directly on the barrel of the gun. The weapon itself looks… small. The usually longer cylinder from where the bullet comes out is a bit on the short side, and the barrel seems to be able to hold 6 bullets instead of the usual 8 I'm used to.

The moment my hand grabs the frame of the small revolver. A screen pops up in front of me.

Do you wish to accept the Job [Gun Hero]?

This will lock your Job and you won't be able to choose another one.

[YES/NO]

''Well, fuck it. You only live one time.'' With a smile and a grin, I press the 'Yes' option. The Legendary Weapon shines in response to my touch, before settling down on my hand.

''Well, I'll be dammed, you an interestin' one. Ain't ya', pipsqueak?'' A feminine voice with… a southern accent? Suddenly speaks, as the orange gem in the gun glows. She sounds amused and interested, if slightly surprised.

''You… can talk?'' My eyes widen as I look directly at the weapon, and I can get a feeling of amusement in the back of my head.

''Sure can, cupcake.'' She speaks once again. So I'm not going crazy and talking to an inanimate object. That's cool. ''Name's Belle. Now, up for a rodeo, Partner?''

Well… I believe there's a joke around here about giving guns to American students.

I dump half my points into DEX, and the rest in LCK. If we're going full cowboy, we doin' it right!

Falling (Failing) Once Again.

-Freed Sellzen's POV-

Who even is this freak…?

This 'project' from the boss-man went without a hitch… Mostly.

Besides these Fallen bickering and fooling around most of the time, the moment we set up to extract the Sacred Gears from those brats, a dumbass kid appeared to interfere.

Dressed as a cowboy.

''Well. Ain't this a swell night, fellas?'' The dark-haired teenager speaks in a badly made Southern accent. A sheriff hat on his head as he smirks confidently at the five of us. Does this brat really think he can beat Four Fallen and a priest with… a gun and a half-assed cosplay from one of those Old West American movies…?

''I'm afraid y'all will need to let them kids go. Nothin' personal, y'know'' He tips his hat while… quite skillfully pulling out the revolver from his side. I just as quickly pull out my pistol, while the Fallen around me make themselves useful in pulling out light spears from thin air. ''Seems y'all have a bit of a hearin' problem, don't ya?''

''I don't know who you think you are, human, or if you're simply extremely delirious. Either way, you die here.'' The 'big boss-lady'; Raynare, decides to finally speak up after a moment of shock about this entirely ridiculous situation.

In a moment, Raynare's light spears seem to be ready to launch, and then-

BANG!

''What…?'' I look frantically around for whatever made that noise before my hand bursts with pain. Why the fuck is there a hole in my hand?!

''[Quickdraw: Scattered Meteor Bullet]…'' That's the first serious word that comes out of the kid's mouth. I can't even laugh at the stupid as fuck name before I hear the gurgling of someone choking from around.

I turn to these dumb fucks I call 'comrades', a string of curses in my mouth before my eyes widen in disbelief.

The boss lady has a hole in her chest.

Thud.

And that was the sound of the majority of the other Fallen hitting the ground, Kalawarna has an exit wound on the back of her head, which drips with copious amounts of blood all over the floor. Dohnaseek is similar in that aspect, but with a clear bullet wound on his temple, and a shocked expression on his head in his last breath.

Raynare stands still for a moment.

''What… the fuck?'' These are her last words before she falls dead to the ground.

''I warned ya', but did y'all listen to the cool-looking American cowboy with a gun? Noo…'' The teenager mockingly replies, before looking at me, his eyes widening a bit while looking at my hand. ''Oh… missed one.''

''No, yeah. I fucking quit. I'm getting the fuck out of this faction. Killing devils is overrated anyways.'' With a hidden flashbang in my pocket, I hastily get the fuck out of there.

Can't I have a regular fucking Monday around here? Screw it. I'm becoming a farmer…

Engagement Avoided.

-Ravel Phenex POV-

Hmph. To think the Gremory Heiress would treat Big Brother, the one who's supposed to be her future fiancée, with such disrespect and clear disgust.

Can't she see the bigger picture? Uniting the Phenex and the Gremory houses would bring nothing short of excellence. To join the Bael's Pillar Trait; The Power Of Destruction, with the economic prowess of the Phenex House. A child born with both would surely become a force to be reckoned with.

Yet… she throws it all away for what? Finding her 'true love'? What a childish thought.

It doesn't matter. The Rating Game will conclude soon enough. With the Gremory's Rook, Knight, Queen, and Bishop down; Only that farce of a 'Red Dragon Empress' remains—that and… the other Knight.

She chooses… peculiar people, that's for sure.

A smile blooms on my face as I look at the debilitated yet undeterred Pawn, protecting her King with determination in her eyes. Yet… Where is that Knight? Shouldn't he be in this last stand-

''Riser's Phenex Bishop, Rook, and Knight have been retired.'' The voice of the Strongest Queen; Grayfia Lucifuge announces.

What?

My gaze turns to the roughed-up school grounds turned battlefield. With just enough time to see my escort, one of Brother's Knights disappeared in moted of light.

How?! I couldn't even feel the attack coming! And it happened all at once?!

''Well now, I believe it's time we settle this one, don't ya think?'' I turn once more to look at the rooftop where the final battle takes place. The missing Knight dressed in Cowboy cosplay standing in front of the Gremory Heiress and her Pawn. Relief was clear in their gaze and a dumb smirk on the Boosted Gear user's face.

''Ho? You took three of Riser's pieces in a swift strike. Commendable, yet useless all together!'' Riser boasts with a confident smile and his usual air of grandeur. ''After all, The Immortal Phoenix's regeneration is greatly outside of your comfort zone. Surrendering against Riser will be the better choice-!''

''DeadBitchSaysWhat.'' Suddenly, the Knight's accent disappears. A… Question? too fast to understand coming from his mouth.

''What-''

BANG.

Thud.

Silence fills the air for a moment, and I stare in shock at my brother lying on the ground. The wound on his chest closing way too slowly…

Did he… strike his heart? Wait! If it doesn't heal quickly enough, the Simulated Arena will declare him-!

''Riser Phenex's Retired.'' Brother disappears the moment Lucifer's Queen speaks. ''Checkmate. The Gremory Heiress wins.''

…

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK-

Embers of a Great War.

-Kokabiel's POV-

Truly, what a spectacular opening!

Even with the failure of those incompetent, Low-Class Fallen and the mysterious disappearance of Freed, my plan went without a hitch!

The mere appearance of Fallen trying to invade Devil territory, and trying to kill Sacred Gear users no less! All of it re-ignited the embers that were slowly dying out since the start of this pathetic 'Cold War'!

Brandishing the False Excalibur, I smirk down at the weakened pests.

It wasn't easy, to create a barrier powerful enough to impede the communication of multiple High-Class Devils, nor was it easy to fuse the Excalibur Fragments to make this sword…

But it will all be worth it

"A pathetic display, Gremory Heiress!" I mock the bloodied and tired form of the current Lucifer's sister. Her once pristine face was now marred with sweat and blood soaping from her crimson hair. "Not even with the Red Dragon Empress by your side, did you manage to put a scratch on me. Truly pitiful!"

The brown-haired girl I spoke of just stared blankly at my form. Her Balance Breaker shattered multiple times, to the point a few 'Boosts' are all that remain on that fancy gauntlet of hers.

"Y-you won't get away with this!" A shrill and annoying voice speaks out. Ah, yes. The wielder of Excalibur Mimic, was it? "The Lord will punish you! Wasn't it enough to stray from his teachings and love, now you dare harm innocent lives?! All for a meaningless purpose!"

Ha…ha... HahaHAHAHAAHAHA! AMUSING, TRULY AMUSING!

"God? Do you really think God will come and punish ME?!" I can't help the explosion of laughter from exiting my face. Confused frowns all around at my words. Especially from the two Excalibur Wielders…

"You foolish girl! You let yourself be manipulated by sweet lies like a puppet with way too many strings!" I mock her beliefs. The pure rage coming from the Blue-Haired wielder of Excalibur Destruction sparks a dark amusement inside of me.

"THE GOD YOU PRAY TO EVERYDAY IS DE-" "That's a lot of yapping you have going on for you!"

What?

Turning at the disrespectful interruption. It's none other than the Red Dragon Empress herself. Her previously blank face split into a confident smirk.

"Excuse you?" I ask, a bit incredulously. Then, even the crimson-haired heiress's eyes widen, and a similar smile appears on her face.

"I mean; you're talking a lot of crap for someone who's about to get his ass kicked into dust!" She states before giving out her own two cents of pained laughs.

"Is that so? Be real, Red Dragon Empress." I shake my head at the meddlesome interruption of a confident brat. "You can't defeat me!"

-Ikki Hyoudou POV-

I just give out another laugh at the perfect opportunity.

"Oh, I can't" I state with confidence. No way in hell that I can scratch this guy after over-exhausting the Boosted Gear. "But he can."

"He…?" The Fallen asks with clear confusion, before a chilling sound, something like a high-pitched sound that no beast or man could make.

Yet, I can't help but smile. He really is ridiculous…

"It's high Noon… Bitch." The voice seems to be everywhere and nowhere at once. The Fallen turns, expecting a sudden attack.

One moment, the snarling face of Kokabiel looks around with the holy sword in hand.

Thud.

Annnd he's dead. Yeah, that checks out.

I didn't even blink, and just like that, the upper half of the Ultimate-Class Fallen is missing. The body falls limp to the floor while dropping the False Excalibur.

"Well… that's certainly the way to start the weekend. Right, guys?" I turn around to Rias, Irina, and the others. Those not 'in the know' look flabbergasted. While my fellow peerage members just look in exasperation and amusement.

"Senpai is a dumbass… but he's a scary dumbass," Koneko states with a deadpan, and I can't help but agree.

.

.

.

Author's Note:

I know, I know. The chapter is incredibly short, not only that, but it's practically not a chapter at all. It's an Omake.

This week has been busy as all fuck. I had an exam on Tuesday. I had to cover a few shifts from my co-workers, and I started a temporal side-gig selling 'Pannetone' (a type of bread), since it's getting close to Christmas. I rlly didn't think I would get so many people wanting to buy, but here we are.

I promise there will be an actual chapter next week, but have a short 'what if' of Cowboy Fumigami.

Discord Link: discord .gg/ 92Yt5wxeWN