2 Days Later
Rae wondered not for the first time what she had gotten herself into as she sat across from the blue-eyed, dirty blonde-haired boy.
Damon isn't a boy, she reminded herself tersely, though compared to Tomak, he was. Stop that, she commanded with sheer frustration in herself, having already broken her inner oath to not think of the burly yautja.
Besides, if she was being fair, Damon was practically the same age as her, so she tried to at least give him that much respect. And he was being much more gentleman-like than she gave him credit for. But she was not about to deny that there were times when he became extra goofy, and she was trying to decide whether that was an endearing quality or not.
"Alright, we still have some important stuff to get out of the way first," blue eyes stared back at her with a fake seriousness.
"The important stuff?" Rae arched a suspecting eyebrow. "Did we not cover those yesterday?"
"We did," he leaned forward on his elbows, causing the almost huggy material of his white tee to cling attractively around his biceps. "But," he nodded for emphasis, "there is another important topic I would like to discuss with you."
Knots began to build in her stomach as she tried to not fidget in her seat. "Okay."
His eyes betrayed him as he smiled. "Favorite color."
She let out a breath, and laughed, relieving some of that anxious pressure that had built up in her chest. He was such a dork. "Of course, that is serious," she played along, before turning it on him. "What's yours?"
Damon shrugged subtly, "I think I've always been an orange kind of guy."
"Orange, the color of enthusiasm." Now didn't that come as a surprise?
He chuckled, "Well… yeah," he scratched his head, "it's um, not as flashy or as outgoing as red or as bright as yellow, but it's the perfect middle ground, you know?"
It was a struggle not to outright smirk at his almost, but not quite philosophical reply. Almost, though he did try. But as she stared, she was able to read right through him. "You like the fruit, don't you," she put it plainly, a small smile only the precursor.
He laughed, sitting back with his arms folded. He shook his head at her and laid down his cards. "Fine, fine, I really enjoy orange flavored things, okay?"
"I knew it!" she laughed.
"Hey, you can laugh all you want hotshot, but I still have yet to hear your favorite color."
He leaned forward then, staring at her as if he were trying to read her mind. "Let me guess, pink?" his eyes flashed mischievously.
Rae rolled her eyes. Looking out the window, she took a moment to think about it. What was her favorite color?
White reminded her of the slopes, a pure color.
Red was a strong choice as it was her father's favorite.
Blue made her picture the ocean and all those beautiful moments with him.
Orange was reminiscent of the sunrises she woke up to.
Green reminded her of the forest, the sounds of the birds, and the smell of freedom.
Yellow, she could picture one thing, Tomak's eyes, the way they glowed when he was pleased with her or when they flashed in warning. It brought a certain warmth to her, but was it her favorite color? Were any of them?
Purple, she suddenly thought. Of course, it was the obvious choice. Although it was a rare color to be seen evidently in nature, it drew her nonetheless. Her entire life, she could never understand it, but that color in particular had snuck its way into her dreams, even her nightmares. Whenever she was overpowered with the fear of anything: being enveloped in infinite darkness in her youth to losing her father, to being thrown into Price's labs, she would suddenly be surrounded by that color as if it were a saving grace. There was something familiar about it too. The calming effect, the sense of security it gave her. She couldn't understand why it affected her that way, but she had her theories.
"I like all the colors for different reasons," she expressed readily, "but I've always been drawn to purple. I can't explain why," she added the latter as an afterthought.
Damon nodded his head thoughtfully. "Purple is one of the cool colors, so," he shrugged, "maybe it's because you're such a tranquil person at heart."
Rae couldn't help but laugh. She was in total disagreement. "That all depends on who I'm with," she thought of Naomi in particular, her bubbly spirit always seemed to affect her similarly.
"Well, you need to mix red to get purple. Just means you're a mixture, you've got the best of both worlds."
"I don't know about that." She turned her attention to her drink, bringing it up to her mouth, she softly took a sip of the hot contents.
He did the same, looking deeply in her eyes.
Upon meeting his gaze, unprepared for the intensity of it, she shyly looked away. Shakespeare knew what he was talking about when he wrote that eyes were a gateway to the soul. Making eye contact with someone without conversation to back it up always made her uneasy; the gesture felt so intimate. She wasn't quite ready to reveal that side of herself to Damon, at least not yet, but she also didn't want to make it awkward.
"Okay, my turn," she took her opportunity, knowing exactly what she wanted to ask. "How long have you been snowboarding?"
His white smile pulled wider, happy she brought up the conversation. "I started learning to ski first," he admitted, thinking back all those years ago. "But when I was introduced to snowboarding, I never looked back. So altogether? Thirteen years. If we're just talking about snowboarding, then, eight. How about you?"
She attempted to withhold a smile imagining Damon as one of those little skiers that would dress like miniature pros and whiz by her in her beginner days. She swore their parents must have put them on skis as infants. It always astounded her how little ones could outdo adults on the slopes. It was impressive, though she was curious as to what Damon would think regarding her little experience.
"Three years," she answered rather timidly.
He blinked in surprise, his whole body sitting straighter as he looked at her in disbelief. "Three?" he repeated, sure he had misheard. "Three years and you move like that on the slopes?! Are you pulling my leg?"
"Nope, three years," she confirmed, chuckling softly. With that athletic streak in her, Rae had made sure to visit a few different mountains to get a good feel for the ranging terrain. And since she learned with both Naomi's encouragement and gloating, she pushed herself to go further, learning at an accelerated rate. Rae had no doubt she would have started snowboarding much sooner had she had the strength in her youth, and not been held in captivity later on. Her whole life had practically been put on hold. Thankfully, she had Naomi to help her recover.
"I am so sorry I pressured you into following me off trail," he suddenly apologized. "Had I known you were–"
"It's okay," she cut in. "I'm a big girl, I can make my own decisions."
"Well sure," he tried to amend, "but it was still wrong of me. How has your head been since then?"
"Oh um… it's been fine." Naomi must have informed him, she realized.
She thought back to that day. Yeah, she had hit her head considerably when she fell, but her helmet had buffered most of the impact. If anything, it was Tomak that had busted her up pretty good. She had to be thankful that the worst he did was fracture her jaw. Understanding now, she knew that he had the capability of easily wrenching her head clean off her shoulders. Instead, she had come out sporting some serious black and blues, but they weren't life-threatening. A picture of Tomak's physique came unbidden to her mind.
Don't think of him, she pushed the thought down, recentering herself on Damon who was sitting right across from her.
To distract herself from him she decided to engage Damon in a lengthy discussion on all things sports, who his team was, and why he was foolish enough to think they would make it to the playoffs over hers. It actually did the trick, her competitiveness overpowering everything else.
"Alright, alright," he eased her a bit, "I don't want to argue, even though you are being delusional." He laughed at her outraged gasp.
"Delusional?! I'd like to hear you say that again after we pummel you tomorrow night."
He wasn't having it. "You talk some good smack, but I have yet to see your guys deliver. In fact, with your lead offensive player on the bench with an injury, it gives us an even better advantage, on top of being a home game for us."
"Whatever," she brushed it aside.
He chuckled, lifting the lip of his cup to his mouth and finishing off the last little bit of his coffee. As he put it down, he gave her a soft look, which somehow accented his ocean-blue eyes.
Caught in the crossfire of his gaze, she averted her eyes, though that didn't stop her from simpering.
"I'm glad we got to take an hour to do this," he smiled, fiddling with his empty cup.
She returned his smile, genuinely feeling the same. It wasn't as bad as she thought it would be.
"How about next time, instead of coffee, let me take you out to dinner."
"Dinner?" she hesitated, uncertain of his proposition. As nice as he was, a small part of her was reluctant to accept the offer. Her heart wasn't involved like it should have been. Damon represented everything she should want: easy-going, attractive, polite. So what was holding her back? A stupid question.
"A casual dinner," he jumped in to clarify, probably hoping to ease her into the idea, "maybe closer to you, say… tomorrow night? Before, the game of course," he quirked a grin.
"Umm," she held her cup a tad tighter. It would be better if she said yes, it was less time spent around Tomak. But…, she couldn't help but add guiltily. She wasn't going to deny it, she greatly preferred Tomak over Damon, even though Damon was a more realistic option for her.
For a minute, she didn't know what to say.
Damon sensed her reservation. "Unless you've already got plans, I don't want to pressure you… again."
He seemed to stumble over his words before she made up her mind. "I have work tomorrow, but," she nodded to herself, somewhat warming up to the idea, "if we go to the diner across the street from my work, then I can meet you afterward."
For a moment he appeared to be shocked that she said yes, but his recovery was smooth. "That would be great," he smiled attractively. "So, tomorrow night?"
"Tomorrow night," she agreed.
"Tomorrow night," she breathed deeply, resting her head against the steering wheel in regret. She felt like banging her head against it. She couldn't believe she had said yes. Why was she only now beginning to change her mind; now that she was home, away from Damon, and closer to someone else?
She knew why though, as stubborn as she was to refute it. It wasn't the big guy's fault though. It was herself. She was her own worst enemy when it came to anything and everything.
It was wrong to string Damon along, especially when she wasn't as involved in the relationship she was forcing to be made. Her gut clenched nervously at even the thought of going on a dinner date with him, but then again, maybe that nervousness was from her current predicament rather than her future one. Maybe given time, she would start to feel something with him, but with Tomak in her life right now, it made that harder.
Taking another deep breath, she hesitantly opened her car door, hoping to not make too much of a sound as she closed it.
She had scarcely seen Tomak at all since the little mishap that night, purposefully avoiding him for that very reason. But staying clear of him yesterday had been for a genuinely good reason. She had made plans to go on a hike with Naomi and a couple of her friends far in advance. No one needed to know that she had been hoping to cancel it to spend more time with the big brute. But following her indiscretion with Tomak, she had made up her mind to go and even decided to call Damon to see if he would be up for joining their group last minute. He had agreed, much to her surprise.
Turned out that a lot of the girls brought their boyfriends along, which allowed Rae the opportunity to chat with Damon in the safety of numbers without it seeming forced. And strangely, it was kind of nice, she could sense the girl's prying eyes on them, but it was hardly noticeable. If anything, it was the suspicious look Naomi gave her at Damon's sudden appearance that made her feel abashed. It was like she knew she was making a mistake.
Overall, the day had been pleasant. And after the long strenuous hike, Damon had successfully managed to make plans with her to meet him at a coffee shop the next day. Shaking her head to herself, she couldn't help but note that he had done it again today.
Although seeing him three days in a row would not normally be ideal, she had no problem with it currently due to the hot water she was in with Tomak.
The last time she saw him was when she had gotten back from the hike. She had bumped into him very briefly that evening as she was getting ready for bed. He didn't even say anything to her, giving her that silent contemplating look.
Today, however, she had been a tad less honest. She had made sure to get up when he was outside training in the early hours of the morning and managed to sneak out while he was still busy fighting his invisible opponent. She had no particular reason to be out, other than Damon, but she knew she couldn't stay away forever. Now it was late in the afternoon, a time Tomak was usually spotted.
Maybe she should have gone to the grocery store on the way back. It would have looked better on her part if she had, making her look a little less suspicious in her suddenly frequent outings. Too late now, she plodded along toward the beachside.
Taking another nervous breath, she stepped out into the open under the sun's rays, doing a quick check of the area. Tomak wasn't out sunbathing or training, which was a good thing thus far, but that would only prolong their long-awaited meeting a little more since it was more than likely he was keeping Chase company on the living room couch. At least that was her best guess.
However, she did take note that his weapon was resting in the sand not far from the stairs, which was odd being that he liked to keep his belongings close and never scattered uncared for on the ground. But she didn't let that thought entertain her any longer, as she kept walking. She barely made it towards the steps leading up to the deck, not even making it that far when she froze.
Standing within the shadows that the deck and its staircase provided, Rae met the glowing eyes of the big beast, realizing all too soon that he had been waiting for her this whole time.
As he slowly stepped into the light, Tomak did a quick appraisal of her. He wasn't wearing any armor to cover his chest which was not unusual, but it looked like he had decided to wear his light skirted armor today. It was decorative with the sun glinting off of its polished surface, partially covering his thighs and hanging lower than his loincloth.
He growled, meeting her eyes purposefully. "Why have you been hiding from me, gorgeous?"
She stared back at him with incredibly wide eyes. Just hearing the depth of his voice as he called her by that new nickname did things to her that she was uncomfortable acknowledging.
She blinked out of her oblivion. "I wasn't hiding," she replied firmly, but the way his eyes blazed brighter as if he had a lie detector trained on her had her stomach taking a nose-dive. She was forced to avoid his blistering gaze.
"You are hiding from me now," he gestured to her noncommittal stance, his brow rising steadily as he did.
She grit her teeth and met his eyes evenly then. She wasn't going to play his game. "I had things I had to do. I wasn't hiding from you," she insisted. Yet despite her rougher tone, the lie sounded weak to her own ears.
He didn't look very pleased with her vague answer if his stiff posture told her anything, but she held strong nonetheless. Then just like that, he chuffed and side-stepped her in dismissal.
It should have relieved her, but she was also aware that his response was one of irritation. Rae took her chance to steal a glance as he passed. She watched in silence as picked up his spear from the sand. So he had left it on purpose. Was it meant to distract me? she suddenly wondered.
"You missed training," he informed her whilst inspecting his weapon, only lifting his eyes to look at her pointedly. "For two days."
She dropped her gaze down to her feet, already aware of this fact, but it stung more by his bringing it up. She did feel guilty, but she needed to stay away from him, especially after what happened that night.
Tomak was everything she could want in a relationship, and that weakened her in ways she wasn't ready for. He wasn't human, but her heart was already involved and they were living together, which made staying completely away from him nearly impossible.
"I'm sorry," she spoke softly, barely over a whisper, but he still heard her and acknowledged.
"You will make amends," he turned, looking at her from over a shoulder. He wasn't taking 'no' for an answer.
Under the intensity of his eyes, like twin suns, her resolve melted entirely. "Okay."
"We begin now," he tossed his spear over to her, which she readily caught, gripping it tightly.
Hoping to pacify the big guy, she slipped out of her shoes, tossing them out of the way, and took tentative steps toward him. She looked at him before taking the initiative to draw a large circle around them. After she did so, she hesitantly looked up at him for approval.
He examined it carefully, not bothering to address her, which kind of hurt. Was he giving her some sort of silent treatment? Was he punishing her? God, she hoped not. Then with little warning, he turned on the spot, and with two long strides, leapt up to the deck.
She knew where he was going and she waited tensely with patience as he went to retrieve her barbell. Her thoughts transitioned to what training with Tomak would be like today. He didn't usually train her when he was angry, then again, she couldn't be sure if he was truly angry or just disappointed. Rae honestly didn't know which she would prefer from him. An angry Tomak was terrifying, but a disappointed one made her feel worse.
Was he disappointed with her? He probably would be if he knew the true reason why she was keeping away.
She was startled to the present when he suddenly landed several feet away, the barbell in hand.
Taking his place on one side of the circle, he looked at her and paused, which made her pulse roar. "You are distracted," he commented, twirling his staff expertly.
She swallowed and shook off her trepidation. "I'm fine." He looked at her flatly, not believing her.
As if to refute his observation she got in a defensive pose, and breathed deeply through her nose, centering herself.
Seeing an intensity in her eyes, Tomak settled himself comfortably in an offensive stance.
Rae swore she saw a shimmer of something dancing in his eyes before he launched himself into a full-on attack. Pupils dilated, she threw herself out of his way, rolling back onto the balls of her feet.
Tomak didn't relent.
Rae lifted his weapon to block a jarring blow that was aimed at her legs and darted to the side. She grit her teeth as he deflected her follow-up. Stepping back, out of his reach, Rae watched him like a hawk. When he took a step, so did she.
Charging her once more, Rae attempted to duck low and roll between his legs. It had worked on him the first time they met, why not now?
Big mistake.
He was on her so fast, she wasn't even capable of getting into a better wrestling position to deter him.
Of course, there was no such thing as wrestling when it came to Tomak. Although she was incredibly strong by human standards, she came up short when it came to accomplishing a feat of that magnitude. Escaping him on the other hand, as much as he denied it, she knew she could do that. But when he laid that big body of his down on her, she was robbed of the opportunity, though she tried, shimmying, wiggling, anything she could to adjust herself, but it was useless when she was on her stomach.
Her breathing was constricted with his weight bearing down on her back, her breaths coming up shorter, though she was aware that he was being more careful about his size in relation to hers.
The sting of her defeat was worsened when she heard him chuckle right by her ear. She glared at him from her limited view.
"Did you really think that would work?" he met her eyes, which made her look away.
She hated that she had a thing for his eyes. "Worked before," she reminded him stiffly.
"And did it work now?" he pressed, arrogantly making his point.
She struggled to not provoke him with a grin. "Okay, I get it."
"Then prove it, gorgeous," he rattled above her, the rise of his pecs brushing all too noticeably against her back.
"Why do you insist on calling me that?" she wanted to sound annoyed, but she wasn't sure that came across through her dazed state.
He chuckled. "Because you like it."
She scoffed, looking up at him from the side. "Oh, so you're doing things I like now?"
"Do you approve?"
She shook her head with a disbelieving laugh. "That all depends if you let me up."
Instantly she felt a difference in his hold, his hands tightening just a fraction around her pinned arms. "That is not how this works, gorgeous."
She exhaled a curse. "I hate you."
"You lie," he spoke assuredly. Rae frowned when she felt him rise. A squeal flew from her mouth when she was unceremoniously flipped over on her back, only to be straddled again.
"Now tell me the truth," he demanded, staring her down.
She stared up at him incredulously, still recovering from essentially being manhandled. "The truth?"
He met her eyes unwaveringly.
Looking deeply within those amber pools, she felt something within her break. It was as if she could physically feel her heart shatter within her chest, coercing unwanted tears to form around her vision. You want the truth? Well, the truth is I love you. I love you so much that I'm scared to say it to your face for fear of your reaction. I love you so much that I'll never tell you because you deserve better than me. You deserve a beautiful female yautja that can give you a family, that isn't an emotional shipwreck, and that can physically put you in your place when you're being a scoundrel. I love you, but I shouldn't. She was shaking, as if she had spoken those words directly to his face.
"Rae?" He kneeled over her, looking her over carefully in concern after her long silence.
Rae evened her breathing, determined not to let weakness show, Tomak deserved that much from her. She wasn't about to make things uncomfortable between them and she would die before she unveiled such intimate emotions that rode too closely to her heart. She swallowed deeply as she compelled herself to refocus, strangely realizing only now that her arms were free.
"The truth is," her eyes lowered carefully as she thought this through before slowly meeting his gaze with a hidden glee, "I didn't yield." Moving fast, it was too late for Tomak to get her meaning before she had already tucked her legs against her front like a spring and shot them forward, her feet connecting hard with his chest.
As soon as she shoved him back, he did not waste time, moving swiftly to once again pin her beneath him.
Rae tried to backpedal, but realizing that it was too late for that, she fell back on her last resort. Lifting her legs, her feet held firmly to his hips, while her hands held firmly on his shoulders, arms fully extended and elbows locked. It stopped his advance, giving him nowhere to move, exactly as he taught her. When he sat up to try a different route, her hands caught his wrists and pulled him back down hard toward her raised feet. Tomak grunted when she kicked him directly in the face, forcing him to roll off her.
Free, Rae twisted her body in the sand and got back to her feet, simpering as she did. She half expected it not to work, but she couldn't help looking damn pleased with herself as she turned to see Tomak's reaction to her victorious escape.
Meeting his eyes she actually thought she saw pride shining back at her which made her heart ache, but her initial smile vanished when she took note of his lower mandible hanging at an awkward angle.
"Oh god, Tomak!" she gushed, hurrying over to him. She dropped back down on her knees in the sand to get a better look at it, only for him to turn his face away from her outstretched hands.
"I am fine," he chuffed. "It will heal."
"No way," she pursued him, turning his head to look at her. Her heart beat faster. "You're not getting away from me that easily," she pinned him with her eyes.
He stilled beneath her touch, maybe out of surprise, but she took advantage of it.
"Now hold still," she directed gently, placing her hand against his broken mandible and the side of his cheek. "Let me fix what I did."
For a moment, he didn't make any move to make it easier for her to reach him, but he didn't move away either. Then with a deep chuff, he lowered himself into a deep crouch, tilting his head toward her all while giving what she could only describe as a heated stare.
She caught her bottom lip between her teeth at such a look. It was like he was soul-gazing with her, but unlike with Damon, Rae was enticed to hold his gaze. That was not to say it was easy to do. Every cell in her body would agree that she would shy away from such intimacy in an instant, but there was something tantalizing about his eyes. They were so different from anything she got to witness, they were unique to him and she loved that.
She broke their eye contact with her last thoughts. Her heart throbbed at the pain such thinking evoked. It was like he was imprinted on her heart. What would she do if he ever found a way to go home?
No, don't think like that, she chastised. Tomak's hurt because of you, focus on that. And she did. Riveting her attention on the problem at hand, she continued with her task.
He hardly showed any outward sign of pain when she pressed her palm more firmly against the injury, cringing in apology as she did. "Now hold still. Can you do that for me, Bright Eyes?"
Those gold irises of his flared back at her with enlarged pupils. This was followed by a quick chuff, this one lighter than the last— a sound of humor. She grinned back at him, happy he took no offense. It was compensation for the new nickname he decided to drop on her. She thought it was only fitting she give him the same courtesy.
Tracing a path with her eyes down his face to the broken mandible, she took a necessary deep breath, calming her beating heart and opening the channel between them. Closing her eyes as she transferred some of her energy to his broken mandible, she at first felt something along the lines of a radiating warmth, but within minutes it changed, transforming into a strange numbing sensation that tingled and moved down from her arms to her fingertips.
Knowing she was at the end of what she could endure she held it for several more seconds before retracting her hand, cutting off the flow of energy with a heavy sigh. It always did take her breath away.
When he looked at her, she seemed to be breathing a little heavier, fatigue faintly showing in her eyes, but she didn't let that stop her from checking on him. "How does it feel? Is that better?"
She hoped he would have responded, but instead, his mandible twitched under her touch and he quickly moved away from her, removing himself as if she had a contagious disease. She stared in disbelief as he walked back in the direction of the house.
"Tomak?" she called after him, standing back on her feet.
What did she do now? Did she offend him by healing his wounds? The notion seemed ridiculous to her.
Meanwhile, entering the café, the dark-haired man did a quick survey of the room and immediately caught the eyes of a secondary agent across the room. His bald associate nodded to him once before turning back to his paper. identifying possible individuals that could interfere with his mission. Scanning a second time, he identified possible individuals that could cause trouble if the mission started to go south.
He didn't stand there long though, he didn't want to appear too cautious, though that had never failed him in the past. He just so happened to work for someone who would not take failure lightly, if at all. Quickly deciding his seat, he chose a good spot that gave him a perfect vantage point of all his exits and clear sightings down the aisles without the worry of being watched from behind. It was a tactical advantage.
Taking a seat, he pulled out his laptop to seem distracted with work. No one seemed to mind as he hacked into the security cameras surrounding the exterior of the building.
"Two o'clock," he heard in his ear and quickly changed to a different tab. He snapped to attention, looking in the direction addressed. Quickly he took note of the girl that had entered the scene.
"I have eyes on our target, but no sign of the asset yet."
"10-4," he confirmed, speaking softly into the comm. "Stay on her. If she leaves, follow her."
They were in place with others ready to switch out if needed. They could go as long as was needed, all they had to do was wait.
Tomak didn't know what to expect from the little temptation, but her avoidance wasn't it. Although he was conscious of the fact that she was staying clear of him, he made sure not to show it, though it displeased him greatly. It was not as if she had a keen sense of smell to tell that he had entered his mating season, she was not yautja. An inner part of his primal instincts took her odd behavior as rejection, but there was something else at play, he could sense it.
He had been impressed with her little display the day prior. She had proven him wrong, something that aroused him greatly. And the look she gave him when she turned arrogantly, knowing exactly what she did, made his lust unbearable. The only distraction he had was his broken mandible, which she so delicately healed.
A shiver ran down his spine at the memory.
He knew what her intentions were when she approached him purposefully. He would have denied her if he hadn't been put in a trance by the beauty of her eyes. And when she had closed him access to seeing those expressive orbs, he was aware of a very different but not unwelcome sensation.
His pride would never admit it, but he groaned, his eyes fluttering shut at the immense pleasure that pulsed from her glowing hand. He could not explain the pleasure or how it behaved, but it was like an object being thrown in water, it rippled through him in waves, leaving him utterly exposed to her. She could have asked him to do anything at that moment and he wouldn't have hesitated.
The bliss she had put him under lasted for several long moments before she finally pulled away.
Even as the pleasure passed, he was content with her gentle caress. He could still feel the curve of her thumb as it ran down the side of the mandible, the touch so soft, and so foreign. Tomak felt something tremor within him recalling just the way she had touched him, a tenderness he could not remember being shown since his youth.
And it was at that moment that he knew he had to remove himself from her. If he had stayed, there was no doubt that he would have done something they would both regret. She had no idea the amount of restraint he had to use when he was around her.
He cursed himself for being in such a helpless situation with a female who was oblivious to it all. If it was not the looks and touches she gave him, it was her shunning that unhinged him. Did she have any idea that she was driving him to insanity? She left him in a state of confusion on a regular basis, making it impossible where he stood with the little female.
This morning he caught her leaving early, something that was highly irregular.
He had been informed in the past that on this particular day of the week, she had a longer "work day." But he knew her schedule well, she always made an effort to eat with him at the table each morning, a routine that had been suffering as of late. And if she were to leave, for some unknown reason she had always felt compelled to tell him so; a custom he never understood, but had gotten used to.
Now though, he knew something was indeed wrong because she was acting suspiciously, giving him an alarmed look as if she were caught doing something wrong. Then seemingly blinking out of her stupor, she made a hasty exit, only offering a quick goodbye. It had left him frustrated and confused.
Had he done something to make her feel so skittish and untrusting? She acted fine yesterday, for the most part.
Maybe it was his behavior that was throwing her off.
That thought led to some deep meditations and multiple rounds of vigorous training before he finally came to a decision. When she came back, he would make sure to tell her what he was dealing with. He wouldn't have to get into specifics, just share enough for her to understand that his disappearances should not offend her.
He was aware this could make her slightly uncomfortable, being that her species did not normally converse on such matters openly, but he was willing to risk that if it meant she could return to her normal self.
Of course, that was when she came back. As time ticked on, Tomak began to pace back and forth in the small living space.
He cursed his little temptation for making him act like a youngblood. He could only remember one other time that he had acted as such. How could an elite be brought down to such a low point by a little female such as herself?
She was taking far too long. He snapped his head in the direction of the clock, having already memorized the position, (of what she claimed to be hands) when she normally returned. It was far past that time, and this concerned him.
Something had gone wrong, it must have. She was never late.
Even her feline companion had come out, sensing the time of her arrival, and was waiting more patiently than him on the couch's armrest. He could feel the tendons in his neck pull taut at his growing impatience. And it more than angered him that a pet had more control than him.
Grown bored of his pacing, the very feline stretched itself out and jumped up to the back of the couch, staring vigilantly out the window. "Mraa!" it vocalized.
Was she here? He swore the moment she stepped inside, he would– No, he growled. Those were his primal urges talking, not him. He needed self-control.
Stalking up to the window, he looked outside over the cat. No one was there, he growled in displeasure. Sensing a watchful gaze, Tomak tilted his head down meeting large green eyes. "What?" he stared down at the feline, unimpressed.
"Mraaa!" it seemed to talk back.
He snorted. "I do not understand you," he answered in truth, only to grumble at himself for even speaking to the feline at all. He had been around Rae too much.
Slinking down onto the floor, Tomak sat cross-legged as he tried to clear his mind and concentrate on the present. He needed a clear head if he was to investigate her whereabouts.
She may have been acting strangely, but what else did he know? Was she going into heat? He shivered. Paya, he hoped not. He wasn't familiar with her species anatomy in that detail, but that unfortunately was a possibility. Was something out there in the world stressing her out? Her job? Maybe her friend? He was only aware of the one, but there most likely would be others.
Sighing deeply in annoyance, Tomak realized that much to his dismay he had more questions than answers when it came to her life outside of her home. Taking a few more minutes to practice his deep breathing exercises, he slowed his pulse and peeled his eyes open with a newfound determination.
The only way to answer these questions was to go and find her; see for himself what was going on.
Standing to his full height, Tomak went and donned his armor and weapons, fastening each to his belt. If she was in trouble, he would be ready. Picking up his mask last with much reverence, he attached it to his face and quickly filtered through its settings. Satisfied, he walked back through the living room. Stopping at the main door, he turned minutely toward the feline that sat at the window, peering over its back to stare at him.
"I will bring her back," he declared, once again growling at how foolish it was to speak to the little pest. Stepping outside, he shut the door firmly behind him and took two long strides before sending himself off the high deck, landing nearly silent in a crouch below.
He scanned his surroundings, taking note of the darkening sky. The night was almost upon them, and if he knew anything about his female, she did not like the dark. This fed his agitation. She should have returned hours ago.
Yes, he would bring her back, he decided, taking off toward the forest. And tie her to the bed, he added savagely, only now understanding the meaning of such a phrase. She had much explaining to do and he would listen intently. From there he would deem what punishment would be worth this great effort.
He could just imagine the astonished look she would give him, probably followed by insubordination. She could be such a stubborn female, another one of her attributes he enjoyed immensely.
Using the limited scope of his gauntlet, he narrowed in on a faint trail of her DNA. He would check her place of work first, and if he had to go farther, he would. He would just have to adjust the punishment accordingly.
It took time, but he found the human town with relative ease.
Crouched up high on a branch, Tomak scanned the streets, his mask picking up her trail again. Activating his cloak he jumped down and stepped outside of his cover. When the road cleared, he ran across straight toward one of the smaller structures. Maintaining his speed, he transferred his momentum as he took a step up the wall and vaulted upward, his hands clasping the edge firmly, securing his weight to pull himself up and over. From there he casually leapt to the adjacent rooftop.
Her trail appeared to be getting stronger, more recent, which meant he was close. Silently, he moved across the buildings until he narrowed in on her place of work. He had only been here once before when he had followed her months ago. He had convinced himself that it was to make sure she could be trusted outside of his view, but now he knew differently.
Turning on the audio receptors in his mask, he listened carefully for her voice while he scanned for her specific heat signature.
What he found was that there were many females inside, but none carried Rae's specific signature, but what he did pick up on was that some of the individuals inside were carrying arms. He could count two, but it was very odd to him. He was well aware that the human race was violent, not all showed such hostility, but there were some. In this calm environment, however, he found it puzzling as to why individuals felt the need to arm themselves. It didn't settle right with him.
Could this be what's setting her off? But why would she leave earlier to be around this?
A familiar voice picked up in his audio and he flicked his eyes in the direction of the female inside. Getting into a better position, Tomak immediately recognized the face, identifying her friend. But there was still no sign of Rae.
He expanded the radius for his audio. He was sure that she was somewhere in this vicinity. Her trail ended here.
It was subtle and barely noticeable, but he heard her laugh. He swiveled around, staring at the building across the street. Scanning it, his mask alerted him to more weapons and as he got closer, he could see that the majority of those with weapons were male, and there were four of them. And they were all surrounding the fireworks display in the center. He already knew, but changing visions, he saw Rae.
Moving to get a better view, Tomak froze at the sight.
He should have been more concerned about her safety, but he couldn't stop staring at the male sitting across from her. His eyes moved back and forth between his female and the male she was sharing a table with, only barely cognizant of his claws digging into his palms as his hands balled into fists.
The longer he stared, listening to them talk, the more he realized that he recognized the young human's voice. But from where?
Then it came back. It was the day he laid his eyes on Rae. He was there too, sitting beside her.
His blood boiled in his veins as he watched the male say something to her, getting her to laugh, her face lighting up with her gorgeous smile. Even the way she turned away to look out the large window, her shyness was something that he enjoyed, but not when it involved that of another male.
He growled deeply at the interaction.
Not a moment later a third party entered the picture, with a tray in hand. Two plates of food were then placed before them before the individual left. Tomak was then forced to watch as they tucked into their meals, the male passed looks that he recognized all too well.
A possessive sound rattled deep within his chest, every logical cell in his brain reminding him that he was to remain unseen.
Rae turned her head, looking outside once more, her expression one he could not place.
He briefly saw red as the male's hand reached out to rest over hers. But seeing her not pull away, felt like a kiande amedha trying to burst forth from his chest.
What was this? What was he to her?
Tomak was sure of one thing. Blood would be spilled.
"You okay?"
Rae hadn't expected him to reach out and instinctively she wanted to pull her hand away at the foreign contact, but she firmly reminded herself that this was what she needed. Looking in Damon's eccentric blue eyes, she smiled. He would never be Tomak, no one would, but he was still a sweet guy.
"I'm okay. Work just felt weird today," she couldn't explain why, it just did. It could have been because the café had been packed for longer hours than usual or that she made eye contact with one of the customers and it made her uncomfortable. She couldn't begin to describe it and she didn't want to burden Damon with it.
"I'm sorry," he spoke softly, almost as soft as his thumb grazing the topside of her hand.
"Nothing I can't handle," she brushed off the feeling of guilt that was creeping up on her. Once again, Tomak's face came unbidden in her mind. She shouldn't have left like she did this morning. She didn't even tell him she would be out later! He was probably worried, or maybe he wasn't. Sometimes he acted like he was indifferent to her, but recently he had been making more of an effort to see her. Maybe because she was giving him a wider berth than normal.
Why are you hiding from me, gorgeous?
She could remember his words well. God, why did he have to make things so hard?
"Well thanks for coming here tonight," Damon's eyes seemed to smile as the corners of his mouth hiked up. He shook her hand in an endorsing manner before letting it go. "I know it couldn't have been easy with a tough day at work, but it made my day that you were still willing to meet."
Her heart throbbed a little harder. All she could see was Tomak's face and yet Damon was sitting right here being so polite and caring. Why couldn't she look at Damon as she did Tomak?
She allowed a smile that he returned. Forcing her emotions down, she engaged him in friendly conversation, tucking into her salad as she did.
Damon went on to talk about his family and that he had two little sisters, and twins at that. He laughed explaining that as a kid he used to think their conception was a punishment, like they were there specifically to torment him. That was until they were born and instantly he fell in love.
Rae smiled hearing the stories of his siblings. He asked if she had any to which she shook her head. She would have loved to have a little sister, but with what she has had to deal with, it was probably better that she didn't. Though one could dream.
"What about your parents?" he logically asked next.
She's got a lot of daddy issues, she heard Jake's voice echo in her head.
And she hesitated in responding. "Um…" she shook her head, "I didn't know my mom, but my Dad raised me as a single parent. He…" she didn't want to sound like a sob story. She instead went on to tell how he was a scientist, which Damon seemed to like.
"I'm sorry about your mom, but it sounds like you got a pretty good dad."
"Yeah," she agreed. She couldn't have asked for a better one.
Damon spoke about his parents and their professions and Rae listened intently, genuinely interested in the family arrangement he got to enjoy. He had no idea what a blessing he had.
But as they finished their dinners and asked for a check, Rae thought she saw movement from the corner of her eye. She turned her head briefly, not intending to find anything, but when she stared hard enough she swore she could see a shimmer in the darkness. Like everyone else, her eyes didn't see as well in the dark, but she stared openly at the spot on the café's roof.
"Here you are," the waitress came back around with the bill. "Is there anything else you guys need?" she looked between them.
"No, thank you," Damon smiled appreciatively.
Once the waitress left, they both instantly grabbed for the bill and met eyes.
"I'm paying for this," he chuckled, dragging the black leather book to his side of the table, but what he didn't expect was for Rae to snatch it from him.
"I insist, I'm paying," she shot him a sprightly smirk.
"The hell you will," he reached over the table to take it back, but Rae held it just out of his reach. "It's tradition for a man to pay for a first date…
"You paid for the coffee yesterday. It's my turn to pay."
"No way," he disagreed. "I want to pay for this one."
"I don't want to come across as a moocher," she frowned.
His eyes widened. "I never said you were," he tried to smooth over. "I just-"
"Give the lady what she wants," an older man finally piped up across from them. "Trust me bud," he gave him a knowing wink and gestured to his wife, "this is coming from someone with years of experience. You're only going to make it worse on yourself."
Rae couldn't stop a small giggle at the stranger's comment, and Damon shook his head with a laugh.
Aiming an amused look at Rae he relented, "Alright, can we at least meet in the middle somehow? If you won't let me pay the whole thing, then let's split the check."
She breathed deeply, considering it. "Fine, I'll pay for your meal and you can pay for mine."
He frowned, "Your meal was cheaper than mine!"
"Then you should have no problem paying for it," she countered evenly.
He sighed, "Okay, I'll pay for yours and I'll handle the tip."
"But–"
"I'll handle the tip," he interjected with a grin, already writing the numbers on the receipt.
She relented with a humorous huff, placing her payment on the table. "You are so much more stubborn than I thought you were."
"Is that so bad?" he chuckled, putting their combined balance in the black folder.'
"I guess we'll see," she smiled, sliding out of the booth.
He laughed openly as he followed her out.
It had gotten darker fast, faster than she had hoped. Her eyes flicked nervously across the sidewalk, seeing her car at the far end. Why did she have to park so far away? She knew why, remembering how packed it had been earlier. She was lucky she didn't have to park further away. She fiddled with her keys nervously and turned to Damon about to wish him a good night, but much to her surprise and great relief, he hooked his arms with hers.
"Let me walk you to your car."
It stole her breath away. Why couldn't she have met him before Jake? She couldn't help but imagine how much happier she would have been if she had linked up with him instead. She couldn't say the same in regards to Tomak, however. And Damon wasn't lacking when it came to muscle, she could feel that as they walked together. But when she thought about the other day when she was kneeling on the floor wrapped in Tomak's arms, she had never felt such a sense of security before. It was beautiful, and loving, and… impossible. It was impossible.
He stopped at her car and looked at her when he noticed something was bothering her. "Hey, you alright?" he turned to her with concern. "You've got tears in your eyes."
"I'm sorry," she dropped her gaze. "This has been such a great night and… I'm ruining it."
"No you're not, hey," he took her by the shoulders gently, turning her to face him. "It's just been one of those days for you." His voice was gentle, his eyes holding a seriousness as he spoke his next words, "I'm glad you've had a nice night, but don't feel like you can't share anything with me."
She nodded stiffly, intent on holding back the tears she so desperately wanted to let run. She appreciated Damon's support, but there were some things that she couldn't share, and this was one of them. "I think I just need to get some sleep. I think that's all I'm lacking," she forced a hesitant smile.
He nodded in understanding. "Then go home, sleep in. Give me a call later, okay?"
She nodded, "Okay."
"Goodnight Rae," he smiled, rubbing her shoulder one last time before letting her get in her car. He closed the door for her and waved as she pulled away.
Driving back home she felt numb. It was like something had either found the master switch to her emotions or she was experiencing the calm before the storm. Here she was anew with the same problem chipping away at her sanity. She had no idea what to say to either Tomak or Damon, but she was at the breaking point.
She hated being so secretive with the yautja. He deserved better than that, but she wasn't ready to express her feelings. It wasn't in her nature to be so open, to lay her heart out with the risk that it could get hurt, maybe even beyond repair. From what she knew, the yautja did not tend to show or appreciate being shown raw emotions like this, at least that's what she gathered from Tomak's explanations.
And Damon, well that was a completely different story. She liked him a lot, he was sweet, caring, supportive, and willing to listen, but she felt for him like she did Naomi, as a close friend. He was good-looking, there was no doubt about that, he even rivaled Jake, something she wouldn't have thought possible years ago, but looks aren't everything.
Moreover, even if she did think he would be good boyfriend material, how would she go about explaining her roommate? How would she tactfully explain her abilities? What if he decided he didn't want to be with her because of her powers? It wasn't like she had a neuralyzer from 'Men in Black' to make him forget she even told him.
There were too many 'what if's' no matter what she decided to do.
Completely distracted and distressed with her own indecisiveness, Rae wasn't ready for when she quietly stepped inside her home.
Silently closing the door behind her with a soft click, she turned around, ready to just collapse on the couch, when she caught sight of the imposing figure standing in the center of the room. Her heart seized in her chest.
"Ohmygod!" she held her hand tightly to her chest as she caught her breath. "Geez," she breathed a sigh, "you scared me." She turned on the main light to see him clearer.
He stood impassively, his eyes hardened, and not at all humorous like they usually were when he made her jump. "Where were you?" he growled.
His voice sounded unforgiving to her ears, but she was tired and emotionally unstable, so although she wanted to respond apologetically, she ended up doing just the opposite. "I shouldn't have to tell you where I was."
The second it came out of her mouth, she regretted it. And Tomak didn't take it well at all.
Before she had time to blink, she was cornered. His sudden display of aggression made her flinch as both his hands slammed into the wall on either side of her head, blocking her in. Left with no other choice she was forced to stare up into his furious eyes. "Tomak, let me go," she warned with a shaky voice.
He seemed incensed by her request and boldly closed what little distance there was between them even more so. A blatant no.
She swallowed, holding her ground. She felt like she was suffocating by the weight of this tense moment. "What is this?"
He ignored her question and asked his own, "Who was that male with you?"
Her eyes momentarily widened before narrowing. Nervous, she played it dumb, "What are you talking about?"
The depth of his growl was ominous.
Taking a deep breath, she contemplated whether she should answer or just leave him hanging. His burning eyes warned her of the second option, though. She looked away, hating how his anger could so easily evoke her guilt. "He's a friend."
"Do not lie to me."
Rae visibly bristled at that, her eyes snapping up to his. "What are you saying?!"
"I do not like his intentions," he snarled.
"His intentions," she repeated with a confused frown.
"He was too close to you!"
"Well you're too close to me right now!" she pushed at his chest, and to her relief he stepped back, allowing her more room to breathe. Taking her freedom, she pushed away from the wall and turned away from Tomak with an anxious sigh. She ran her fingers anxiously through her scalp, a poor attempt to calm herself.
"He acts like a mate," Tomak finally spoke, his physicality swelling as he said it. "Is he?" he stared accusingly at her back.
"What is it to you?" He instantly leveled a chilling stare on her that made her automatically take a step back. Maybe she should have toned that down a bit.
"Answer the question!" he snarled.
Rae's fists tightened as she looked up at him. "He was my date, alright? Are you happy now?" her voice cracked causing her to look away in frustrated embarrassment.
"Date?" he growled, getting her to look at him again. What did this male have to do with a day in her species' calendar?
Recognizing the subtle difference in his growl she was aware of his confusion. "It means I was testing to see if he would make a good partner, a good mate."
Immediately Tomak's fists hardened, his chest expanding. "He is not worthy to be your mate!"
Angry now, Rae hissed back, "Oh yeah? Then who is, Tomak? You?"
"Yes!" he had practically roared.
Time seemed to freeze as they stared at each other, both realizing his response.
Instantly, Tomak snarled, disgusted with his lack of self-control, and left.
Shocked by his admittance, Rae was anchored in place, the thought of going after him not even an option in her mind. And by the sound of the front door slamming shut, he had left her alone in the house. Alone with one swirling thought.
Tomak wants me.
Author's Note
New personal best! At least in word-count hehe.
I honestly couldn't figure out where to stop with this chapter, but I think this is just right. I can't wait to hear what you think of it. I appreciate all the support. I am ecstatic about the big changes that are soon going to take place in the story, so all I can suggest is that you hold on tight and enjoy the read. XD