11
Therese got home around ten. She was climbing the stairs when the telephone rang. She answered.
"Hello?"
For a moment, there was silence on the other end. But she knew who it was.
"I was horrible. Earlier." Carol's voice was soft and unsteady, filled with emotion and regret. Therese had never heard her sound like this—so raw, so fragile.
"Will you forgive me?" Carol spoke quickly, as if forcing the words out before she lost the courage to say them.
"Yes, I mean—" Therese hesitated. A storm of emotions swirled inside her—sadness, betrayal, anger. But hearing Carol like this, hearing the pain in her voice, was unbearable. And knowing she was the cause of it was worse.
"Then… will you—would you let me come see you tomorrow? Evening? After the audition?" Carol's voice wavered, the agony like from a wounded animal.
"Alright. Yes…"
Therese barely thought before answering. She just wanted to take the pain out of Carol's voice. At that moment, she would have agreed to anything Carol asked. On the other end of the line, she heard the soft crackle of a cigarette, followed by Carol's quiet exhale as if releasing the tension that had held her together.
"Did you get home okay?" Carol's voice was calmer now
'It was fine. Nothing unexpected."
"I'm glad. I just wanted to apologize again—for not taking you to the audition tomorrow." Carol sighed, lighting another cigarette. "Are you okay?"
No. She wasn't okay. She felt shattered, like she had been broken into a million pieces.
"Yes, well no- I want to know… I think… I mean, I want to ask you things," Therese said, stumbling over her words. "But I'm not sure you'd want that." She said while holding the phone more strongly, more closely. Therese was unsure if she even knew what these things were—or perhaps she knew exactly what she wanted to ask but couldn't.
"Ask me things. Please." Carol's voice ached with something unspoken that—more than anything—was the answer Therese hadn't dared to ask for.
The morning in New York was bright, the sun shone on the white snow, casting long blue shadows across the busy streets.
Therese had woken up a few minutes ago and started making breakfast, but she stopped halfway through—the milk was spoiled. Not that it mattered. She hadn't really wanted to eat anyway; her stomach was too tight with nerves about the audition.
Then, the phone rang. The sharp sound jolted her, sending a fresh wave of anxiety down her spine. What if it was them, calling to say they didn't need her after all?
She hesitated, then picked up.
"Hello?" she said, forcing an overly polite tone.
"Good morning."
Therese immediately recognized the voice. That raspy, smooth tone that Therese would recognize in every lifetime.
"Morning, Carol."
"Did you sleep okay?" Carol's voice was steady, but there was something unreadable beneath it. Unlike Therese, she didn't sound like she had just woken up.
"Yes," Therese lied. "Thank you."
"I'm glad." There was a warmth in Carol's tone now. "I just wanted to make sure you were awake and well,"
"I am, thank you," Therese lied again.
Silence stretched between them, filled only by the faint hum of the city outside Therese's window.
Carol exhaled "You'll do great today."
Therese closed her eyes for a moment, although Carol had never seen her work and couldn't possibly know if Therese was any good, the thought of this woman believing in her, brought some peace to Therese. She swallowed. She wanted to say something—something meaningful, something that would capture the way Carol's quiet belief in her made her feel. But she didn't say anything.
"Okay than" Carol trailed of "I won't bother you anymore, good luck again."
"You could never bother me." Therese said before she could stop herself.
Another pause, but this one felt softer, lighter.
"Good luck, Therese."
Another pause.
"I'll see you later?" Carol's voice held the barest hint of hesitation.
Therese nodded, even though Carol couldn't see her. "Yes. See you later."
And with that, Carol was gone.
Therese stared at the phone in her hand for a moment before setting it down. The room felt quieter now, almost too quiet.
She took a deep breath. The audition was waiting.