Morning sun and distant echoes of birds filtered into the bedroom Caitlyn and Vi shared. The sheer blinds that hung from the ceiling danced on the breeze and for a moment everything was alright.
But then Vi opened her eyes and she remembered.
A hollow ache that she had thought healing, that she had thought slowly beginning to dull had only grown stronger. A piece of her, a new piece, something she didn't think she'd ever get back now existed in her heart and she wondered if she would ever know what it was like to feel whole again.
Or perhaps she never had truly felt whole. Not since the very start.
It was simple, really. She knew why she hurt. She knew why she felt the way she did and she knew that lingering on that pain would do her no good. But part of her wanted to confront it, part of her wanted to wrap her hands around it and choke the life out of her anguish. But she couldn't.
Once it had only been her mother. Once it had only been her mother and then Vander and the years she had lost and the guilt and regret she had felt building within her all those years she had been stuck in prison. But now that hole had been broken wider, forced to accommodate the loss of her sister and…and— and?
And Vi didn't really know what to do.
She rolled over onto her side, the large pillow beneath her head perhaps a little too soft, perhaps a little too plump for her liking as she grabbed it carefully, squeezed it, pushed it, beat it down into something a bit more firm as she came to stare at Caitlyn's face.
Caitlyn's eyes were closed, her lips parted ever so slightly. Her breathing was even, it was calm, careful. Perhaps a little measured, maybe a little more sure and Vi found herself marvelling at the sight before her.
They had almost lost each other more times than she could count. There had been ups and downs, moments one when or the other had walked away from what could have been and they hadn't come out unscathed— Caitlyn most of all.
Vi found herself staring at the soft silk eyepatch over Caitlyn's eye, the material kinder, gentler upon her face while she slept and Vi wished she had been there. She wished she could have somehow taken the blade meant for Caitlyn and she wished…
She stopped herself from spiralling. She stopped herself from lingering on the past. Or at least on that one singular moment. She didn't realise her knuckles had turned white as they gripped her pillow until a cramp started forming and for the briefest of moments anger flared within her only to settle, to calm and fade away.
It was too early for hurts and angers and regrets. They could wait til lunch.
And so Vi forced herself to relax. She took in a deep steadying breath, she held it for so long that her lungs began to protest and then she exhaled, the breath she released steady, perhaps calming, perhaps just a little more forceful than it needed to be.
But it worked. Vi concentrated on levelling out her breathing, she focused on making it slow, sure. Calm and controlled and she tried focusing on Caitlyn's words, on how to steady her breath, even it out and find calmness in the chaos before she fired her rifle and Vi, for reasons she never could discern, thought the contrast so very charming.
Of course Caitlyn would find the calm in a moment like that. She was an excellent shot after-all.
Vi let a gentle exhale of laughter slip past her lips at the thought.
"You think too loudly, Vi."
Her eyes shot up to Caitlyn's face to find a blue staring at her, groggy and tired but despite that it pierced into her soul and dared her to look away. A loose strand of blue hair had fallen across Caitlyn's face and Vi reached out slowly, her fingers careful not to break the calm as she slowly brushed it out of Caitlyn's face before her hand retreated back.
"Sorry," Vi said and her voice was quiet, gentle. She was loathe as always to break the early morning spell that seemed to greet them.
Caitlyn's own hand reached out into the warmth between them, her fingers careful as they took hold of Vi's hand and brought it back to her. There was a moment of calm as they held hands and Vi wished it could last forever. She wished it could be the way things always had been and always would be. She knew Caitlyn felt the same, if only because her hand held onto hers more tightly than she needed to in the early morning sun.
"We should get up soon, Vi," Caitlyn whispered to her.
Vi let out a small sigh before she huffed a strand of her own hair out of her face before answering.
"I know," she said before she smiled and pulled Caitlyn to her. "But not yet."
House Kiramman and by extension the estate in which Vi now lived was grand. It always had been grand. It was so grand in fact that the first time she had laid eyes upon its magnificence she had been unsure as to wether it were a hotel or a structure for grand social gatherings.
It had taken her so long to grow used to it, the grandeur of it so very different to the Lanes, to Zaun itself. Vi had even thought it obscene and some part of her felt guilty, just like she did with a lot of things. But there were niceties she could appreciate, that she could embrace that she didn't think anyone would hold against her.
And so she turned her face up into the searing water that cascaded down from above. The water in the shower was calming, the heat beat down on her shoulders and she let it soothe her mind and at times she imagined it washing away her worries and her doubts as if it were the thing to help her focus on the day to come.
Vi leant her hands against the polished stone of the shower wall as she stared down at her feet as the water and the lather from the soap washed away. Bubbles slowly swirled, they drifted on the stream that snaked its way towards the polished drain. The polished stone beneath her hands was cool to the touch. The contrast in temperature oddly calming, too. Or, if she were to let her thoughts turn sour, perhaps the contrast was just another reminder of her place amongst those in Piltover.
But Vi pushed those thoughts aside as she took a moment to rinse herself off before turning the water off. She stepped out into the cold air and she shivered before reaching for one of the rather large towels hung up waiting for her.
She wrapped her hair, wrung it out and she carded her fingers through it in place of a brush. Her undercut felt a little too bushy for her liking and she made a note to trim it sometime soon before she stared at herself in the large mirror.
At first she only saw a misted silhouette but after she wiped her towel across it she found herself staring back at a woman she felt somewhere between a familiar friend and distant cousin.
She had scars across her body. One on her side that she couldn't recall exactly when she got, the wound having been opened, recreated, split a part more times than she could recall.
As she stared at herself she had flashes of a time not that long ago when she had been at her lowest, when she had thrown herself into the pits and had sought comfort in the pain and healing in the drink. She was glad that part of her was locked up somewhere deep inside. She didn't think it would ever be gone but she didn't think the people— or the person— in her life now would let her get that far gone. Not without a fight.
Vi smiled at herself, the expression was small but it helped. It helped put her into a better frame of mind and she knew Caitlyn would appreciate her being kind to herself.
Vi walked out of the bathroom, her hair wrapped up in a towel as she finished drying it as best she could. She had dressed simply for the day. A simple sleeveless grey shirt and black pants. She didn't need anything fancy nor did she desire it. Her heavy boots lay at the foot of the bed and she knew Caitlyn wouldn't say anything but Vi knew better than to wear them inside the estate unless she needed to.
Once satisfied that her hair was as dry as she could get it Vi folded the towel up and put it aside before heading down to the dining room. As she walked through the halls she found herself staring at all the intricacies of the Kiramman Estate. Paintings hung from hooks upon the walls. Some of landscapes, others portraits of members of House Kiramman long since gone. Vi passed one in particular that she always took a moment longer to study. A young girl, blue hair, neat and orderly, sat upon a small chair, her hands clasped in her lap and her eyes as stern as could be expected for someone so young.
Vi fought the smile that started to creep across her lips as she shook her head and continued walking. Pillars of white polished stone passed her by, too. Between the pillows stood a bust, a vase, a statue or model of something Vi had lost track of. There was so much to see and perhaps in time she would come to know them all.
Eventually Vi came to the dining room to find Caitlyn already seated. A plate of food lay before her, a plater of more food to the side. Another plate was set by her side too and Caitlyn looked up with a small smile. Caitlyn's hair was combed straight and neat as it hung down to her shoulders. She wore her ever familiar high necked and long sleeved undershirt though the sleeves were rolled up. Before her was also what Vi assumed to be the day's newspaper.
"You weren't waiting for me, were you?" Vi asked as she slid into her spot beside Caitlyn.
"Of course not," Caitlyn said quietly as she pushed the paper aside.
But Vi new she was lying. She always did.
"Anything interesting?" Vi asked.
"No. I'm afraid not," Caitlyn answered.
Vi hummed a quiet response as she reached for the platter of fruits and cheeses. She thought it was a little scary how quickly she had grown used to the abundance of food Piltover had access to, and more importantly, how much House Kiramman had access to. Fighting for scraps had been such a core part of her existence once that it felt odd to not feel that need so strongly anymore. In some way she almost felt like she was betraying herself, betraying a memory of something she should hold on to more strongly than she was but—
Caitlyn nudged her with her elbow and Vi didn't realise she had been staring off into the distance, the knife and fork held indelicately in her hands.
"Sorry."
Caitlyn just hummed a response before focusing on the food and so too did Vi turn her attention to the breakfast. She ate faster than she probably should. It, too, was a habit she had found hard to shake but Caitlyn never seemed to mind too much. Vi wondered if it was just because Caitlyn was simply happy that she actually ate and didn't starve herself like she had once done in some kind of self punishment.
"I was thinking, Vi," Caitlyn's voice broke into her thoughts.
Vi paused mid bite and looked over at her with an eyebrow raised in question.
"I was thinking about going down to the undercity today," Caitlyn continued. "I—" Caitlyn took a bite. "I've been so busy focused up here in Piltover these last few months fixing everything that the undercity has slipped my attention a little," there was a hint of apology in Caitlyn's voice.
Vi didn't mind though. Of course they had had people coming and going from Piltover to Zaun, up and down, through the Lanes every which way and that. There had been things that needed to be seen to, things that needed to be fixed everywhere and Caitlyn and the rest of the council had kept their word and ensured everything was given the attention it deserved. But them. Her and Caitlyn, they both had probably been away for too long.
Vi could have lied and said she was busy, too. She could have lied and said her responsibilities had kept her away the last few months. But truthfully she had been fearful of the memories. She had been fearful of what she had left behind and what had left her behind.
She had been getting better. The hole in her heart that had only grown larger with Vander and Jinx's death had seemingly started to heal once more and she was afraid that revisiting old haunts would only open the wound and make it fresh again.
"I'm not asking you to come, Vi," Caitlyn said quietly. "But there are things I will need to see to a little more closely," she smiled at her, the expression small, enough of a message for Vi to understand.
"No," Vi said. She shook her head. "I think it will be good for me to come," she nodded.
And so Caitlyn smiled, she reached out her hand a squeezed Vi's in a warm grip.
"Sounds like a date."