Chapter Twenty-Three: Lonesome Roads

Rising up out of the volcano, the mighty dragon spread its wings, letting out a ferocious roar towards the night sky. Black smoke billowed from its maw, preparing to unleash the same fire that had decimated countless villages. Raising his greatsword, Sideswipe prepared to fell the beast once and for all. "I'm goin' in, cover me!" he said as he charged.

"Shield spell!" cried Steven the mage, aiming his staff at his comrade. A magical barrier surrounded the paladin, protecting him from the dragon's breath. Leaping into the air, he swung his holy blade, cleaving through the great dragon's snout. Flashing red with rage, the monstrosity collapsed, its head now within reach.

Both warriors rushed in, repeatedly striking its weak spot with their weapons. "Now would be a good time for an arcane burst!" the paladin said.

Steven fired bolt after bolt of magical energy at its face. "Not yet, I'm still recharging!" he said. After sustaining a good deal of punishment, the dragon rose once more, sending a barrage of fireballs into the sky.

As the flaming meteors rained down from above, the pair darted out of their way. "Steven, look out!" yelled Sideswipe, but it was too late. Too busy dodging the falling projectiles, he hadn't been watching the dragon, which had felled him with a single swipe of its claw. "Noooooo!"

The mage had fallen to one knee, struggling to stay up. "Quick, get me up!" he shouted. Sideswipe ran over, but the dragon let out another jet of flame. Although he blocked, his armor wasn't a high enough level to block the fire. He, too, was vanquished.

"Aw, again!" moaned Sideswipe, letting his custom-made, Transformer-sized controller fall to the floor. "I told ya you should've gone with a barbarian!"

Steven glanced up from the 'Game Over' screen, which they had become very familiar with recently. "I like healing people, though," he replied. "It's more rewarding to soothe pain than to cause it."

"Yeah, well, maybe you can soothe those fifth-degree burns we keep getting," Sideswipe said, getting up from behind Steven's couch. "Just as well, though. Elita and Mags are back."

"How can you tell?" Steven asked curiously.

Sideswipe gestured to his audio processor. "Magic hearing."

Sure enough, Magnus and Elita had just returned. The two felled questors headed into the Ark to greet them, watching as they stacked a number of large crates in the corner. "So, a successful mission, I take it?" said Steven.

"More or less," Magnus replied. "We managed to get the hydroelectric dam working again, but I don't think the mayor really listened to our advice for constant upkeep. Still, he gave us all this energon, so that's something. Any luck on your end?"

Steven shook his head. "Unfortunately, no. We've been at it for days, and we're still no closer to defeating that thing. Maybe we just need someone with higher defense…"

"Hey, don't look at me, I'm doing my part!" said Sideswipe. He had produced a cube of energon from one of the crates, sipping from it as he sat down. One large belch later earned him a glare from Elita.

"I'm sure. Let me guess: you were the moral support while Steven did all the hard work?"

His eyes narrowing, Sideswipe got up. "I don't know what you're talking about. I'm the whole reason we got as far as we did. I'd like to see you do that kind of damage without a paladin!"

"Uh-huh. And Steven's healing and shield spells had nothing to do with it, I'm sure," said Elita, going back to stacking the crates.

Sensing that tensions were rising, Magnus stepped in. "Now, now, there's no need for hostility. No matter what, Sideswipe's a valuable member of this team. He's been known to pull his weight from time to time."

"Hang on, I thought we were talking about video games," said Steven.

"Yeah, when did this become about me?" Sideswipe continued. "Also, whaddya mean 'from time to time?' How often have I saved your skidplates from certain doom?"

"How many times have you gotten our skidplates into certain doom in the first place?" Elita said dryly. "Either directly or indirectly. And how many times have our skidplates ended up in certain doom thanks to your inaction?"

Sideswipe was silent for a moment. "Wow. Alright, that's a lot to unpack. If I didn't know better, I'd think you were calling me a burden." He crossed his arms.

"Of course we aren't calling you a burden," Magnus assured him. "But Elita has a point. Oftentimes, your, ah, impulsiveness and…and…"

He glared at Magnus. "Go ahead, you can say it."

Elita said it instead. "You're lazy, Sideswipe. You always try to weasel your way out of doing any work, and you only care about goofing off. Even when you do participate, it's only because you get some personal enjoyment out of it!"

Fights between Elita and Sideswipe were nothing new around here, so Steven wasn't worried, but that didn't mean he liked to see it. "Guys, guys, we're all on the same team here! Instead of focusing on who does or doesn't do what, we should remember how we're always there for each other!"

"Oh, are we?" said Elita, glaring at Sideswipe. "Funny. Somehow, it seems like whenever we need some help around the ship, you're either too busy, nowhere to be found, or recovering from a cold that you shouldn't be able to have!"

"That was one time!" Sideswipe replied, throwing up his hands. "I see what this is! 'Oh, let's all gang up on Sideswipe 'cause he's not a real soldier like the rest of us!' Well hey, I might not've been made the same way as you guys, but I'm still a valuable member of this team! Optimus said so himself!"

Sensing that they were getting nowhere, Magnus opted for a different strategy. "Yes, he did say that. And he was right. Sideswipe, Optimus saw great potential in you. Don't you want to live up to that?"

"...You mean, you don't think I already do?" said Sideswipe.

"...Oops."

Sideswipe waved them off, heading for the door. "Pah! I'll bet if I left, you'd be begging for me to come back within a week! No, three days! In fact, why don't we try it out? I'll go on some wild, crazy adventure, and then when you inevitably come crawling back, I won't come back until you admit how much you need me! So there!" He smugly marched over to the exit, making his way onto the sand before peering back inside. "Oh, and Steven's coming with me!"

"Wh–I am?" Steven said, pointing to himself. This was all very sudden; he hadn't even packed anything. Still, the idea of going on an adventure with Sideswipe was doubtlessly intriguing. "Sure, okay!" He ran back inside to grab a few essentials before setting off.

A concerned Elita glanced at Steven, then the door, then at Magnus. "Were you planning on stopping them?" she asked.

"You know, perhaps some time to himself might be just what Sideswipe needs," Magnus said. "Some time away to reflect on his place here with us. And Steven can help keep him out of trouble." He smiled. "Besides, I doubt he'll last a day."

A bag slung under his arm, Steven exited his house to find Sideswipe waiting for him, transformed. "The open road awaits!" he declared, his passenger door opening. "We shouldn't keep her waiting!"

Steven climbed in, tossing his bag into the back. "I've never been on a road trip before!" he said excitedly, tossing his luggage in the back. "So, where we going? Empire City? Griffin Rock? The ruby crystal mines of Burma?"

"Anywhere we want, kiddo!" said Sideswipe. "Anywhere we want." Peeling out and kicking up sand behind him, he sped off into the city for the open road.

So far, the road trip had been exactly like Steven had seen in movies. Music blared from the radio as his face was pressed up against the glass, watching empty fields roll by. Even though this field looked exactly the same as the past fifty fields they had passed, it was still magical to him. "I can't believe we've never done this before!" he said. "Taking a trip together, just you and me. Why do you think that is?"

"Probably 'cause Mr. and Mrs. Buzzkill don't want the two fun Autobots hanging out," Sideswipe replied. "I don't know if you noticed, but they have this thing about us expressing ourselves in certain ways. They're total parents–'do this,' 'don't do that,' 'where were you last night,' that sorta thing. I mean, how many times have they negged on one of your ideas?"

Steven thought about it. "I mean, sometimes, but it's not like they're always shutting me down. And Dad doesn't act like that at all."

"What do–ah, I see. It's like this: there's parents, and then there's parents. Parents raise a child. Parents micromanage their child's life, and stomp all over their dreams. Make sense?"

Steven blinked. "...No."

"Alright, well, my point is that Elita and Magnus are both anti-fun. Which is why, since it's just the two of us, we can have all the fun we want! That's what I meant earlier when I said we could go anywhere we want–no rules! We can stop anywhere that looks fun, eat all the fast food we want, drive all through the night, and get into fights! For once, we get to live our lives our way!"

"Woo-hoo!" Steven was indeed excited by the prospect, throwing his hands into the air. But after a few moments, this enthusiasm was gradually replaced by curiosity. Something Sideswipe had said intrigued him, and not in a good way. "Hey, Swiper? Was Optimus ever a parent to you?"

After a brief pause, the radio turned down. "I…no, not the way I was saying," he replied. "He was…he was like a parent. See, he got that I wasn't exactly a professional like those two are. He didn't treat me like one, but he didn't treat me like some dumb kid, either. It's like he…he understood me. Better than I understood myself."

All this talk was making Steven miss Optimus, and he'd never even met him. "He must've been a really good dad. No wonder he and Dad got along so well." He then realized he missed Greg as well. "So, um, how long is this road trip gonna last, anyway?"

"That's the great thing about it–it can last as long as we want!" Sideswipe's introspective quiet had been replaced with his usual enthusiasm on a dime. "It's just the two of us, out on the open road! You are excited, aren't you?"

While Steven definitely was, he couldn't help but think that maybe Sideswipe had something else he wasn't telling him. Still, he didn't want to ruin all the fun they could have, so he didn't say anything. He did, however, notice that the sun was starting to set. "No, no, of course I am! It's just that it's getting a bit late. Should we stop somewhere? Maybe a hotel, or a motel, or some other kind of -tel?"

Sideswipe snickered. "I thought kids wanted to stay up late on vacations! Ah, whatever. We don't need no stinkin' hotels. If you're tired, just take a rest right in there, and let me cruise through the night!"

"Uh, if you're sure," said Steven, as his seat reclined. "G'night, Swiper." He closed his eyes, wondering what Sideswipe had planned for tomorrow.

Steven was awoken the next morning by the sunlight gently caressing his face. He yawned and stretched, certain there would be a red mark on his cheek from the seatbelt pressing against it. While he was certain they would still be rolling along, he found that the car had stopped, parked on the side of the road next to yet another field.

"Huh? Hey, Sideswipe, wake up. Did something happen?" he asked, lightly tapping on the dashboard.

Some muttering came from the same place. "Whuzzat? Oh, g'morning Steven. Thought you'd be sleeping a bit longer. Have a good rest?"

"Yeah, fine, but what are we doing here? If you wanted to stop somewhere to sleep, we passed a few towns. I'm sure one of 'em had a rest stop, or even a garage we could've stayed in. You didn't need to sleep on the side of the road."

Sideswipe let out a scoff. "Maybe I like sleeping on the side of the road! It's like roughin' it, only with less leaves stuck in my undercarriage. We are out here to have fun and go wild, aren't we?"

"I guess," Steven replied. "Just don't push yourself too hard. We can't have fun if you're exhausted."

"Maybe, but any party where you don't leave exhausted ain't really a party! So let's go find that party!" Sideswipe's engine roared to life, and he set off back down the road. "But, uh, first I need to fuel up. Gettin' a bit low in the tank."

In a few more minutes, they had pulled up to a gas station by a small town. Sideswipe transformed, stretching himself out while Steven went over to a kiosk filled with pamphlets for local tourist attractions. "Hey, get this–a meteor landed somewhere around here, so they built a museum around it. Wanna check it out?"

Having finished loosening his joints, Sideswipe sat himself down beside one of the pumps. "Nah, I saw it when we saved the city from it. Hey, could you go and pay the guy for a couple gallons? Get yourself a snack, too." He held out his hands, spraying out a number of dollar bills in Steven's general direction.

Picking up the money, Steven saluted. "No prob!" He then headed inside, but not before grabbing a number of the pamphlets to peruse.

Sideswipe placed the pump in his mouth, guzzling down the gasoline. His eyes wandered around for a bit before settling on a car parked by another pump. "Hmm, hybrid. Wonder what kinda mileage it gets?" he wondered aloud. "Maybe I should switch to a hybrid? Might make trips like this easier." Absent-mindedly sipping from the pump, he drummed his fingers against the concrete as he waited for Steven to return.

After a little while, Steven returned. He held a few packages of snacks under his arm, munching on one while he read through some of the pamphlets. "Ooh, how about this one: Talal…Takala…Tlalala…how're you supposed to say this? Tla-la-kan Water Park and Resort! That sounds like a fun time, huh?"

"Maybe, if you could actually pronounce it!" he said. Sideswipe then transformed, and Steven hopped back in. "What other places are there?"

Steven flipped through the papers as they drove. "Well, we've got the world's largest golf ball up ahead. Or there's this soda factory where they give tours, that could be neat. Ooh! How' bout this? Bounce House Central!"

"Gotta say, they all sound like a great time," said Sideswipe. "Who says we gotta choose! Let's do 'em all!" He sped up, hurtling past all the other cars on the highway. "You ready for a montage?"

"Whoo! Montage!" cheered Steven.

First up, they went to the water park with the name neither of them could pronounce. Steven had a good time, but they didn't let Sideswipe on any of the rides because he was too big. He did do a pretty impressive cannonball into the pool, but it ended up emptying out all the water. After that, they were kicked out.

Next came the world's largest golf ball. They took a few pictures with it, and bought some stuff from the gift shop, but there really wasn't much to it. They left after a few minutes.

Then they visited the factory where they made E-Cola. It was definitely a fascinating process, but let's be real, they were only there for the free sodas. Everyone else on the tour seemed to be in the same boat. However, Sideswipe ended up drinking a bit too much of the soda. After that, they were kicked out.

Steven definitely had a lot of fun at the bouncy house place, but Sideswipe didn't, because they didn't let him in. He was too big for the place, after all. Things didn't go so well when he snuck in anyway, completely flattening the first one he tried. After that, they were kicked out.

"Man, what a day, huh?" said Sideswipe. They had stopped at a diner for a bite after all that action. "And just think, this is only the first of many hijinks we'll get into! So, what's up next?"

Consulting the pamphlets, Steven searched for the ideal activity. "There's a museum nearby. Looks fairly interesting."

"Ah. Once you've been to one museum, you've been to 'em all," he replied. "Isn't there anywhere a bit more exciting? Y'know, something to get the energon pumping! Maybe a skate park, or laser tag, something like that."

"I dunno, something a bit slower could be fun too," Steven said. "We have had a lot of excitement today, what with getting thrown out of so many places. You sure you wouldn't like a nice change of pace?"

He chuckled. "Ste-man, you have a lot to learn about living life to the fullest. See, the way I approach it is like this: whenever I want to do something, I ask myself 'Would Elita think this is a good idea?' And if the answer's no, I do it! Think about it for a bit."

Steven did think about it. Elita probably would've thought it was a bad idea to cannonball into the pool. She probably would've thought it was a bad idea to drink all that soda. And she definitely would've thought it was a bad idea to sneak into the bounce house place. "Hey, y'know, a lot of it adds up," he said. She also likely would've thought going to see the world's largest golf ball, and spending two hundred dollars worth of souvenirs, was a bad idea, but that was something else entirely.

"Now you're gettin' it! So tell me: what would Elita say about ordering four triple-decker cheeseburgers, three ultra-thick milkshakes, and a pizza rolled up inside another, bigger pizza?"

"She'd probably say it's a death sentence, and that I'd be increasing my risk of heart disease just by thinking about it," Steven answered. "So let's do it!"

They did so, much to the concern of the waitress taking their order. Nevertheless, she took it, but not before checking to make sure the restaurant had defibrillators handy. "Y'know, Steven, I wasn't sure to think when Optimus told me I was getting a little brother. I was worried a tyke hanging around would cramp my style. But you're a pretty cool kid, you know that?"

The complement meant a lot to Steven. "Thanks. You're a pretty cool guy, too. I'm glad I get to grow up with you." Following this, the pair simply basked in each other's company, neither needing to say anything. Before long, their food came, necessitating Sideswipe transform.

One thing was certain: Elita would probably be the one having a heart attack if she knew what Steven was having for lunch. The burger was so big he could barely get his jaw around it, and there wasn't a scrap of vegetable matter in sight. Even Sideswipe took more than a few bites to finish one. "De-lish! I tell ya, Steven, this is the life right here. We should never go back!"

Steven halted. "W-wait, never? I dunno about that. I mean, I'm having fun out here with you, but…never? That seems a bit far. Won't Magnus and Elita miss us?"

"Ah, who needs 'em?" Sideswipe said. "Trust me, Steven, they act all friendly and stuff, but they don't really respect us. We're just burdens to them, who occasionally rise above that to be marginally useful. But outside of that, we're just good-for-nothing layabouts barely worthy of the Autobot name." He glared off into the distance, his fist tightening.

Somehow, Steven felt like Sideswipe was talking about someone else. "Shouldn't we at least tell them where we're going? If a Predacon attacks, or if they need our help, how will they–"

"They don't need our help, that's the thing," Sideswipe interrupted. "They got along just fine before I came along. I'm pretty sure the only reason they even agreed to take me in at all is because Optimus vouched for me. But now that he's not in the picture anymore, I'm surprised they haven't thrown me outta the group by now. Might as well leave on my own before they get the chance to, right?"

"No, of course not," said Steven, alarmed. "They do care about you, Sideswipe. Sure, you might goof off occasionally, but that doesn't mean you're not worthy of being an Autobot." Though he didn't say anything, it was clear Sideswipe wasn't exactly convinced. "Hang on…you said you became an Autobot later. You don't mean you were a Decepticon, do you?"

He snickered. "Nah, that's not my style. I just came around after the war. See–" but before he could begin his story, the sound of multiple motors rumbling approached. They both turned to see a cloud of dust appear in the distance, gradually growing closer. "Uh-oh. Here comes trouble."

The rumbling was coming from a cadre of leather jacket-clad motorcyclists, barrelling down the road. Although they weren't playing any music, Steven could hear the hard rock pounding in his mind as they all pulled into the diner. They certainly looked like unsavory characters, with most of them sporting grizzled beards and various scars. Having slipped into an alleyway to hide, the duo peered out as the gang descended upon the restaurant.

"If these guys are anything like they are in the movies, things aren't looking good for this place," Steven observed. He looked up at Sideswipe. "I know we're on vacation, and you're questioning your Autobot-hood, but can we still save the day?"

Sideswipe stood up, cracking his knuckles. "Steven, some things are universal. Autobot or not, on vacation or not, it's no excuse not to be a hero. Now let's go save this place that gave us all those fatty foods!"

Pumped up by heroic vigor, Steven prepared to do battle. The two walked out into the open, the rock music in Steven's head changing to an anthem fit for a slow-mo walk, which was how he imagined they looked. If only he had something to sling over his shoulder…

As the congregation of bikers waited just outside the door, the pair of soon-to-be heroes appeared before them. "Gentlemen…we wouldn't happen to have a problem, would we?" asked Sideswipe. He and Steven were both backlit by the afternoon sun, presenting them with their shining silhouettes.

"Uh…why, no, we don't," said one of them. "Hey, boss, we don't have a problem, do we?"

Their leader, the largest of the bunch, thought about it for a moment. "Nah, no problems here," he said. "Why do you ask?"

"Hold on…so you're not gonna trash the place?" asked Steven. The idea that a gang of bikers could behave civilly was hard for him to digest.

"Nah, 'course not," said the first one. "We've just been on the road for a while and stopped for some grub. No trouble here unless they run outta hash browns!" He and the others shared a laugh. "Nah, but seriously, no trouble."

Sideswipe nodded. "No trouble. Good to know." He seemed almost disappointed he wouldn't get to throw down. "Welp, sorry to disturb you gentlemen, then. I guess if there's nothing going on here, we'll just be…" As he turned to leave, there was a crashing noise. "...going."

He had managed to kick over their bikes. All of them, falling like dominoes. Steven, with much less enthusiasm than before, noted that this was also like he had seen in movies. After the racket of the bikes falling one by one, a deafening silence followed.

Slowly, all of them turned to look up at Sideswipe. "Remember when I said there wasn't a problem?" he said. "Now, I think there might be a problem."

"Hey, easy now, fellas," said Sideswipe, backing away. "Let's not do anything we'll regret later…" Steven followed his lead, both of their confidences waning.

"Fair's fair, big guy!" said one of them, menacingly brandishing a tire iron. "You busted up our rides, now we get to bust up yours. So turn into a car and let's get this over with!"

Not wanting to see his finish scratched, Sideswipe nervously glanced down the road. "Uh, yeah, you make some good points," he said. "How about this? You let us off the hook, and we'll fix up all your bikes, good as new, free of charge! In fact, we'll make 'em better than new! That sounds fair, yeah?"

Steven looked up at him. "Do you even know how to–?" Sideswipe silenced him with a lip-zipping motion.

The bikers congregated to debate this. "Are you even a licensed mechanic?" asked their boss. "Seems a bit weird for someone like you to–don't get me wrong, it makes sense, but we just wanna be sure."

"License, yeah, of course, I totally have one of those!" said Sideswipe, subtly making his way over to the road. "I just need to grab one little thing, and then I'll be right back!" He snatched Steven up, transforming into a car and peeling out as fast as his wheels could carry them.

"...I don't think he's coming back," the leader said. "Get to the bikes."

Steven hurriedly buckled himself in as they sped down the street. "That was a close one!" he said. "Shouldn't we pay for their bikes, though?"

"Steven, we're living life wild and free," replied Sideswipe. "And living life wild and free means not having to face the consequences of anything you do."

"That sounds like the opposite of what it means…" Steven noted.

"Yeah-yeah-yeah, the point is, it wasn't our fault, so why should we be held accountable? If anything, they shouldn't have put their bikes in my way! You see, Steven, there's an old saying that goes 'intention is nine-tenths of the law'..."

As he went on about legality, Steven heard a telltale buzzing behind them. He glanced out the rear window, and his eyes widened at what he saw. "Uh, Sideswipe? They aren't done with us yet!"

Multiple motorcycles sped down the road after them. Their riders wielded all sorts of makeshift weapons, intent on doing to Sideswipe what he had done to their bikes. "Hold on to your butt, it's time to metaphorically step on it!" His gas pedal hit the floor, and they raced ahead.

But the bikers were not going to be evaded that easily, speeding up in turn. Steven sank down into his seat as they bared down on the pair. "We'll teach you to mess up our rides!" one of them yelled. Steven winced as something solid hit the door.

They had surrounded them now, closing in and readying their weapons. One of them was swinging a chain, preparing to throw it and entangle Sideswipe's tires. "We're sorry we broke your bikes!" Steven cried.

His apology caused the bikers to hesitate. "There, see, was that so hard?" said their leader. "All we wanted was a little accountability!" Happy as can be, he led the others as they fell back. "Take care now!"

Sideswipe and Steven drove on for a bit longer, flabbergasted at what had just happened. "Am…am I hearing things?" Sideswipe asked. "Because it sounded like those guys left us alone just 'cause you said sorry."

"Nope, you're not hearing things," Steven replied. "That's exactly what happened."

They soon pulled over to the side of the road so Sideswipe could transform. "Well. I'm glad that's over. I mean, I would've liked to see some action, but at least you saved my finish. Thanks for that, by the way."

"No prob!" said Steven with a grin. "I'm just glad things de-escalated before anyone could get hurt. I know you like all this spark-stopping action, but maybe taking it easy wouldn't be too bad for a vacation, yeah?" He noticed that his brother/uncle was staring off into the distance. "Uh, Sideswipe?"

Sideswipe's optics were fixed squarely on the horizon. "I recognize that mountain," he said, pointing to it. "See how it splits into two near the top there? I can't believe we ended up here…"

"Uh…ended up where?" asked Steven.

"I…have something I want to show you," Sideswipe continued. His voice was oddly calm, and barely above a whisper. He walked back to the road, transforming and leaving his door open for Steven to climb in. A little uneasy at this change, Steven buckled in once more, and they were off again.

Steven watched the scenery pass by as Sideswipe was strangely silent. "So, where exactly are we going?" he asked.

"You'll see when we get there," his friend answered cryptically.

They continued to drive for what felt like hours. During this time, they didn't pass by any towns, or rest stops, or gas stations. There weren't even any power lines running along the road. Eventually, even the road itself stopped, going from pavement to dirt as they got closer to this unknown destination. Sideswipe remained mostly silent the entire way, offering only curt answers whenever Steven asked a question. Such as "So, um…I know you want to keep this a surprise, but can you at least say if it's a good surprise or a bad surprise?"

"That depends on your point of view," he replied. "You might think it's neat. Elita probably wouldn't." This was all he said on the matter.

By now, Steven was starting to get a little nervous. This wasn't helped by a thick fog that had begun to develop as they grew closer to the seaside. Although he trusted Sideswipe not to be taking him anywhere dangerous, he couldn't help but wonder if there was something else at play here, or if Sideswipe was in his right mind…

Just a bit later, he could hear the sound of waves lapping against the shore. Sideswipe stopped near the top of a hill, opening his door to indicate for Steven to exit, transforming once he had. "Well, here we are!" His eerily even tone had more or less disappeared, with him standing proudly as he overlooked what lay just beyond the hill. "So, what do you think?"

Off in the distance, surrounded by fog, a large structure stood at the edge of a cliff. It was some sort of building–at first, Steven thought it was some kind of gothic castle, but closer inspection showed it to be a factory, complete with three huge smokestacks reaching towards the sky. "Um…what exactly is it?"

"My old stomping grounds!" Sideswipe said enthusiastically. "C'mon, I'll show you around!" He bounded off towards the strange structure, filled with much more energy than he had been moments before. Curious, but not quite reassured just yet, Steven followed after him.

Up close, the factory looked even larger, darker, and more imposing. Sideswipe, on the other hand, couldn't be gladder to be here. He looked up at the rust-covered walls, running a hand along the seams holding them together. "It's really…big," said Steven.

Sideswipe grinned. "Just wait 'til you see inside! The secret entrance should be around here somewhere…" He looked around for the way in, eventually finding a loose panel. "Aha, here we go!" He pried it loose, creating an opening just large enough for him to crawl through, which he did. "This is how we got outside when we were feeling particularly daring!"

"'We?'" asked Steven, following him inside. The interior was just as dark and dismal as the outside, but at least some of the obscured sunlight shined in through holes in the roof. What he saw confirmed Steven's initial impression that this was a factory, as a number of disused assembly lines ran throughout its length. "Were you…made here?"

"Sure was!" Sideswipe confirmed. "See those arms there? One of 'em coulda been mine!" He pointed out several half-finished mechanical arms suspended from a rack, swaying slightly in the breeze. "Ah, the memories. Ooh, over there's where we played 'king of the conveyor belts!'" He ran up a pyramid of the belts in question, knocking some more metal pieces aside until he reached the top. "I win!"

The more of this he saw, the more questions Steven had, though he suspected he already had the answers to most of them. This must have been a factory where Transformers were built. But didn't the Transformers come from Cybertron? Maybe Elita and Magnus were, but Sideswipe wasn't. But then, what did he mean by 'we?' Were there more Transformers who had been built here?

As he walked through the abandoned foundry, he spied something out of place down on the ground. It was a collection of parts, but they were arranged too perfectly to have been placed there. Three metal girders made up the structure, tied in place with cables. A large gear had been fixed atop these legs, with a crude picture scrawled on the front. It was a face that looked almost, but not exactly, like Sideswipe. It had also been smeared with a brownish paint that looked like it had once been yellow. "Did you make this?"

Sideswipe looked uncomfortable when he saw what Steven was referring to. "Oh, uh, here, lemme show you the racetrack! Lots of great memories over there!" He ushered him over to an open area of the factory, where a number of guardrails had been arranged to shape a makeshift course. With a running start, he leapt onto the track, transforming and speeding around and around.

He was clearly very familiar with this racetrack, as he seemed to know every turn by heart. Steven watched as he ran lap after lap without a care in the world. Even in his altmode, Steven could tell he was having fun, which put his mind at ease. Now he understood why Sideswipe had brought him here.

After a few more minutes of racing, Sideswipe came to a rest beside Steven. "Man, I needed this! It's been too long since I've been back here–so many memories." He glanced over at the odd shrine on the ground, a look of sadness crossing his face for a split second. "Anyway, what do you think of my old digs? Pretty sweet place, huh?"

"It sure is!" Steven replied. "I'm surprised you've never mentioned this place before. It seems like such a fun place to hang out."

"Yeah, that's because our parents don't exactly approve of it. Just 'cause it used to belong to the Decepticons, they think we should just let it gather dust." He glared off into the distance. "Just one of many reasons they're probably glad to be rid of me…"

"So…were you a Decepticon?" asked Steven. "If you were made a Decepticon factory, wouldn't that make you one by default?"

He shrugged. "You'd think so, but it had been shut down a while ago by that point. No, we came out without any symbols at all, not even knowing if there were any other Transformers out there. For the longest time it was just the two of us."

Having already begun to put the pieces together, Steven suspected he knew who this other Transformer was. "So it was just you and…Sunstreaker?" he guessed.

Sideswipe nodded. "Yup. Just us, alone in this big ol' place. Until…" He trailed off, looking very much like he didn't want to relive this memory. And luckily, he wouldn't get the chance. Unluckily, it was because they had been tracked down.

A bright light appeared behind them, which Steven recognized as a groundbridge. Elita emerged from the portal, stepping out onto the factory floor. She spotted the pair, looking both exasperated and relieved. "There you two are! I had a feeling you might have come back here, but you could have at least called! Magnus and I were worried sick!"

Sideswipe groaned. "Great, Mrs. Buzzkill found us. For your information, we were doing just fine out here. Would it kill you to trust one of my decisions for once?"

"No, but it may have killed Steven!" said Elita. Steven winced. "Just once, would you think before making decisions that only serve to make things worse? We had no idea where you were! If either of you had gotten lost, or hurt, what then? Even if you could contact us, would your pride prevent you?"

"You wanna talk about pride?" Sideswipe angrily got to his feet. "You always act like you're so much better than me, just because you were with Optimus for the longest! Meanwhile, I'm just the dirty stray he picked up because he felt sorry for me! Well, news flash: I'm just as much an Autobot as you, no matter where I came from! So if I want to stay here, then I'm going to stay here!"

Elita took a deep breath. "Fine. You can stay here. You know how to get back once you've gotten this…whatever it is out of your system. But I'm taking Steven home."

"The Pit you are!" exclaimed Sideswipe. "There you go again, always deciding what we can and can't do! I'm sick of you pushing me around, all because I was Constructed Cold! Well, I'm not putting up with it anymore! Steven's staying here, and if you want him back, you'll have to go through me!"

"Um, don't I get a say in this?" Steven asked nervously, suspecting that things were about to get ugly.

The blades on Elita's ankles unfurled as she stepped towards her teammate. "Sideswipe, step aside. Or by Primus, I will go through you." There was clear fury in her voice, cold and very volatile.

But Sideswipe was not going to back down without a fight. His swords appeared on his back, and he prepared to reach for them at a moment's notice. "Oh? This I gotta see! Let's be real, Elita, you were never the most adept combatant out of–"

He was cut off, almost literally, as Elita launched a kick his way. He ducked out of the way in time, her blades leaving a slight scratch down his chest. She followed up with her other leg, this one he blocked with his sword. But as he raised the other one to attack, she leveled her blaster right at him, peppering his face with plasma. He staggered back, recovering just in time to dodge a more powerful burst shot.

Steven rushed to safety, hiding behind an overturned conveyor belt. "Guys, please stop fighting!" he cried, but neither of them paid him any mind. "We can work this out! I thought we had learned to compromise!"

Neither of the two were interested in compromise, going at each other with the ferocity of archrivals. Sideswipe wasn't holding back, swinging his swords with full intent to slice Elita in half. "Hate to say it, but you're gettin' rusty in your old age, Ariel! But don't take my word for it, see for yourself!" His wheels clicked into place, allowing him to skate circles around her as he continued his assault.

"I was grinding Decepticons into dust before your ore was even smelted!" Elita returned, laying Sideswipe out with a kick. "You're nothing more than an arrogant upstart who thinks he's owed the world!" She let loose a barrage, which he managed to roll out of the way of.

"Maybe I am an upstart!" he yelled back, deflecting her shots with his blades. "Just a sorry little nobody, plucked out of obscurity! But you know the best part about being a nobody? I've got nothing to lose!" He traded out his swords for blasters, charging at Elita and tanking her fire as he shot back.

He tackled Elita to the ground, where they exchanged punches while tumbling down into the racetrack. Steven chased after them, wondering if he should transform to pry them apart. But considering how fiercely they were tearing into each other, he felt doing so would only end in him getting pummeled instead.

Throwing Sideswipe off of her as they reached the bottom of the hill, Elita took to the air. "Oh, you have plenty to lose! Let me show you!" She opened fire on him, and he transformed as well to speed away from her guns.

Sideswipe raced around the track once more, only this time it was to avoid incoming gunfire. "Is this really the best way to settle our differences!?" Steven shouted, to no avail. Eventually, as Sideswipe rounded back towards the start, he sped towards a ramp that launched him up towards Elita. Transforming as he sailed, he grabbed onto her plane form, which spun out of control as he attempted to bring it down.

"Let go of me! You see what I mean!? You're nothing more than a ruffian!" Elita spat, trying to keep herself upright. Her rotors spun with increasing strain, with Steven believing they were moments away from snapping clean off.

"Shut up shut up SHUT UP!" shouted Sideswipe, letting go with one hand. He shoved his guns into Elita's underside, firing repeatedly until the both of them crashed to the ground. Upon getting his bearings, he drew his swords and made his way over. "Remember how I said I was just as much an Autobot as you? Well, maybe I'm not! Maybe I'd be better off as your enemy!" He brought his swords down, but Elita was able to block them with her own blades.

Disarming him with a swift leg movement, she leapt up and pulled him to the ground. "You want to throw away that badge? Fine," he hissed, holding his arm behind his back. "Optimus made you an Autobot because he believed in you. But now, it's clear you don't deserve his faith. You never did."

By now, Steven had enough. "Knock it off!" Assuming his full Transformer form, he rushed in to break up the fight. "Stop it, both of you!" He pulled Elita back, giving Sideswipe the opportunity to retrieve his swords. "Sideswipe, get out of here before she–" Instead of leaving, he tried to run Elita through, only failing because Steven pulled her out of harm's way. "That's not what I meant!"

"Steven, stay out of this!" said Elita, wrenching herself out of his grip. She then went right back into battle with Sideswipe, meeting his swords with her blades as she fired her blaster. With surprising grace, he managed to evade her shots, dancing around like her mirror image.

It didn't matter what he was told, Steven wasn't about to give up. "That's enough!" Angry now, he charged forward, attempting to grab them both in a bear hug. This kind of worked, but also had the unintended effect of slamming both of their heads together. Steven winced apologetically, but seeing as they were both momentarily dazed, he decided to run with it. "What is going on with you two!? I know you don't always get along, but I never thought you'd try to kill each other! You're both Autobots, so why aren't you acting like it!?"

Sideswipe wasn't too happy at being interrupted either. "Steven, this isn't your fight!" he growled, going for his swords. But Steven picked them up before he could reach them, hurling them over his shoulder.

"Maybe not, but it isn't your fight either! Sideswipe, is this really how Dad would want to see you acting? And Elita, Dad took him in as part of our family! I don't know what this is about, but it's clearly more than just us running off." He sat down. "So can we please tell each other why we're angry instead of using our fists, or swords, or guns?"

After a moment of glaring at each other, both Elita's and Sideswipe's expressions softened. "I just…wanted to be treated like an equal for once," said the latter. "It seems like every time I step out of line, you and Magnus get on my case. You treat me more like a misbehaving child than a real teammate, and I can't help but think it's because of how I was made."

"Oh, Sideswipe…I've never thought less of you because of that," Elita assured him. "You may have been made in a factory, but you're just as much an Autobot as the rest of us. And the reason we're so hard on you is because we know you're capable of so much more. You have so much potential, and yet you squander it by goofing off all the time. When you took Steven, I…I was worried that the same thing might happen to him."

"Well, going on a road trip with Sideswipe was a nice change of pace," said Steven. "I really did have fun with him, and I even got to see the place where he was made. But I don't think we should have stayed out here forever. I would have missed the rest of my family, too. I don't want to have to choose between one of you two–I love you both. Just like you should."

Sideswipe wiped some oil from his eye. "Aww, Steven, that's…that was really corny." He and Steven started to laugh. "I mean, did you get that from a greeting card or something?" Eventually, Elita started to laugh too. The three of them just kept laughing there for quite a while, just glad to be in each other's company.

"You know what? This whole thing was my fault," said Elita. "I shouldn't keep treating you like a buffoon. And I should definitely listen to Steven more!"

"We both should," Sideswipe said, grinning over at the boy, and receiving a smile in return. "And, Elita…I'll try and be a bit more considerate. You guys are always pretty busy, so I imagine you could use a hand now and again. What kind of Autobot would I be if I didn't pull my own weight, eh?"

Elita reached out her hand to Sideswipe. He moved to take it, but hesitated, before pulling her into a hug. Clearly surprised by the gesture, she then wrapped her arms around him in turn. Steven couldn't help himself, joining in on the hug as well. "Come on. Let's go home," she said.

With all three of them back together again, Elita opened up a groundbridge. Giving one last look to his old home, Sideswipe gave a bittersweet smile before stepping through the portal. In no time, they were back inside the Ark, where Ultra Magnus was waiting.

"Good, good, you found them," he said, approaching the trio. He was fairly stoic, as usual, but they could tell he was relieved to see them safe. "I trust there was no trouble in getting them back?"

Sideswipe and Elita shared a brief glance. "No, not really," she said. "But let's just say we've reached a new understanding with each other."

Magnus stepped up to Sideswipe. "I'm glad to hear that. Almost as glad as I am to have the most important Autobot back." He smiled, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"You…you really mean that?" asked Sideswipe.

"I truly do. Sideswipe…thank you for bringing Steven back." He turned his attention to the boy. "I don't know what we would have done without him."

"I, uh…" Sideswipe stammered. "I mean, you're welcome, but…" It was then that he noticed Magnus snickering. "Oh, Magnus, you've got jokes now, huh?" He nudged him. "And here I thought you were an Autobot, not a Sarcasticon!"

All four of them shared another brief laugh. "Jokes aside, I am glad to have both of you back," Magnus said. "You are all my family, and I am sorry if I made you feel otherwise."

Sideswipe pulled him and Elita close. "Ah, bring it in, you rust-buckets!" They all shared each others' embrace for a moment. "Alright, I'm bored. Who wants to do something else?"

"Ooh, I've got an idea!" said Steven, raising his hand.

"Go, come on, go, go!" cried Steven the mage, dodging around the dragon's fire.

"I am going!" replied Sideswipe the paladin, dodging fireballs falling from above. In came one too quick for him to evade, and it was batted aside by a giant hammer.

Magnus the barbarian charged in, whaling on the beast with his hammer. "Fall, foul beast!" he roared.

A swift shape darted around the battlefield, trying to draw its attention. "Magnus, don't get too close, you'll get–" said Elita the rogue. But it was too late, as he was thrown across the room by a swipe from its claws. "I'll go get him…"

"I got your back–shield spell!" Steven covered Elita, allowing her to revive Magnus as the rain of fire continued. Sideswipe, think you can bring it down one more time?"

The paladin leapt high into the air, his blade colliding with the dragon's skull. The beast roared, but it wasn't enough to bring it to the ground. "Ah, no good! We need just a bit more damage!"

Back on his feet, Magnus had them covered. Rather than leaping up to its head, he tossed Elita up into the air. "A bit more damage, coming up!" Her rapier slashed again and again as she sailed over the beast, just enough to send it crashing down.

Three of the heroes converged to do as much damage as possible before it was back up. Steven, on the other hand, knew it was finally time. "Everyone…prepare yourselves." Aiming his staff at the dragon, it glowed with a mighty energy. "It's time for…arcane burst!"

A beam of blinding light shot forth, doing insane damage to their enemy's weak spot. Letting out a final bellow, the beast sank back into the lava it had emerged from, finally vanquished.

The four heroes cheered, having finally overcome such a formidable enemy. "You see? I told you we needed a barbarian!" said Sideswipe.

"Hey, don't forget about the rogue!" Elita said. "She helped more than a little bit!"

"And how can we ignore the contributions of the mage?" said Magnus. "It is thanks to him we made it this far at all."

Steven beamed. "Aww, thanks!" He looked up at Sideswipe. "But really, I owe it all to the paladin. He's always there for you, and he always comes through in the end when you need him."

Sideswipe felt Steven's words touch his spark. Looking warmly at all his companions, he turned his attention back to the TV. "Alright, Autobots…on to the next adventure?"

"To the next adventure!" they declared.

With that, Sideswipe hit the start button, ready to wherever fate took him. For he would have his fellow heroes by his side, always.

AN: Aka "Sideswipe's mid-life crisis."