Poland got off the bed and left the bedroom. Lithuania heard Poland rummage through his things but didn't know where from. This was the first time Poland told Lithuania anything about having scars. He didn't know Poland had scars; he had never seen any on him even though he had seen Polands naked body many times before. Poland returned with various things in his hands: make up remover, wipes, pads and…white spirit?
"Its been awhile …" Poland mumbled and dropped the items on the bed.
He uncorked the lid of the white spirit and damped a bit on a wipe. Poland sat down on the bed and applied make up remover on his left arm. He scrubbed said arm roughly with the damp wipe, Lithuania feared Poland would scrub and etch his skin off.
"What are you doing?! Don't hurt yourself!" Lithuania exclaimed.
Poland didn't react at all, he kept on scrubbing his arm like someone rubbed a lamp to make the genie come out. Lithuania was about to stop him but noticed something showing up on Poland's arm, some sort of writing. Poland stopped scrubbing and gently dabbed his arm with a pad. A tattooed line of numbers appeared.
"Countries suffer the way their people do…" Poland muttered.
"Poland, is this…?" Lithuania couldn't say it.
"Prisoner number? Yes, indeed. I was the first country the nazis invaded back then and my people were not ideal for their imperium so they were sent to concentration camps. The number one prisoner being the country himself." Poland said and pointed at the numbers.
It said "00001". Despite the scars on Polands arm, the numbers were intact.
"No matter what I did the tattoo wouldn't disappear…" Poland said timidly as he looked at his arm.
The thought made Lithuania shudder. He could only imagine what Poland did to himself, but he didn't want to know how it was done. Poland made eye contact with Lithuania.
"My people hated me for letting this happen but I did everything I could, I didn't want this!" Poland tried not to revert his eyes from Lithuania.
"Remember I told you I had a bad dream when you came?"
Lithuania nodded.
"I dreamt one of my many memories of what my people and I went through during holocaust. I went through everything they went through but unlike them I didn't die no matter how many weeks I went without food or how many times I went to the gas chambers"
Poland took a deep breath.
"I was as scared and distraught as everybody else but the other prisoners were angry at me for surviving again and again, angry at me for surviving whilst their friends and family died. But it didn't feel like survival, it felt like dying again and again!"
Poland was shaking and tears ran down his cheeks.
"It was awful to stay alive in the concentration camps! Wojciech was a little boy back then, he looked at me in hope I would do something to get him and his father out. One of the many times I was gassed, his father was with me in the gas chamber. As usual I was the only one who survived and little Wojciech was heartbroken, he glared at me as he cried when I came out again without his father. "I will never forgive you; I hate you!", he said to me…"
Poland bent over and sobbed his heart out. Never had Lithuania seen Poland like this, nor did he know his friend was involved in this homicide! It was no wonder Poland reacted the way he did in the shower when all the years of recover from this horrid trauma suddenly burst back.
"I cant believe you went through all this, Poland, how horrible!", Lithuania said and covered Polands back with his body as a human blanket.
Poland was freezing cold and his teeth chattered as he sobbed. Lithuania circled his arms around Polands shoulders for comfort and in hope his body temperature would warm up his friend. Poland grabbed hold of Lithuanias hands and Lithuania felt Polands tears wet his hands but it didn't matter as long as Poland let out his distress. The grip on the hands was hard to begin with, luckily it wasn't as hard as the grip in the shower room, and it loosened as Poland calmed down little by little. Lithuania slowly withdrew himself from his friend when Poland no longer sobbed so hard and placed himself in front of Poland who was still bend over.
"You are not to blame, Poland, this wasn't your fault" Lithuania said and put a hand on Polands shoulder.
Suddenly Poland got silent. Slowly he straightened himself up from his bend position to look at Lithuania with his now red and puffy face.
"But I was their country, I should have done more and fought harder!"
Lithuania sighed and shook his head.
"You will for always be the country of your people and they were in the wrong back then. You got invaded and you were as much a victim as your people. Like you said, you were as scared and defenceless as everybody else, they should have been there for you instead of going against you! Under these circumstances the people should have defended their country!"
Poland put his hands to his face. Lithuania thought Poland was about to cry again but Poland slowly let his arms down again.
"No country should become this kind of a victim…." Poland mumbled as he gently rubbed the tattoo on his arm.
Poland got up from the bed with his hand covering the tattoo.
"I better get dressed…" Poland said monotonously.
He walked right out of the bedroom without picking up the bag or going through his closet to get other clothes. Lithuania remained sitting on the bed wondering what else he could do to help Poland.
It takes time to finish this fanfiction… Life is being tiresome but I intend to work on this till its done.