Anika slaps her hand on the door control to find Matt looking a little rushed and disheveled in the hallway. His glasses are slightly askew, his clothing rumpled. "I'm sorry for making you come here," she apologizes immediately, frowning. "I could have come to your room."

"No, it's fine," Matt insists. She moves aside so he can join her in her small space, and she's suddenly aware of how big the guy is. She hadn't noticed it so much before, all of his ill-fitting khaki clothing seemed to disguise his true size. It shrinks her quarters even more when his huge body is in there with her. I wonder what he looks like, under all that baggy fabric…

He hovers uncertainly near the door when it closes. "What's going on?"

Anika forces herself to sit down on her bed, crossing her legs. Her foot immediately begins fidgeting anxiously. "I'm supposed to work on Commander Ren's personal shuttle tomorrow, as a flight technician. I don't know why I would be assigned that, I've never served on a shuttle before during a mission. I don't think I can do it," she rambles on, her speech rapid with nerves.

Matt's eyebrows crease together slowly during her rant, until he's left examining her in confusion. "Why wouldn't you be able to do it? It's the same equipment as on base," he points out.

Anika's lips part slightly as she stares at him. Are you really that daft? She'd think it was cute, if she wasn't bordering on hyperventilation. "It's not the equipment, Matt, it's Commander Ren! I've never been that close to him, I can't be around him that long!?"

Matt attempts to fix his glasses, seeming to realize they are off center and correcting them. "Why not?"

"Matt, he can read minds. What if he reads mine and sees all the things I've thought about him?"

His eyebrows lift in surprise. "Just how much have you thought about Kylo Ren?" he asks, and she isn't imagining the intense curiosity in his voice.

Anika groans with her embarrassment, trying to delay answering. Matt's still just standing there by the door, looming above her. "Can you sit down?"

"What? Why?"

"Because you're lurking over me like this giant confused tree," she retorts. "Just sit please, it'll make me more comfortable."

She gestures vaguely at the tiny chair in her quarters and next to her on the bed. Though looking at the chair, the thing looks like Matt's giant frame might overwhelm it. He examines it, before apparently concluding the same and sitting gingerly at the edge of her mattress.

She takes a deep breath before continuing. "It's not like I spend all day, every day fantasizing about our Commander, okay? But if he happened to see anything-"

"Like the choking?" Matt interrupts.

She gives him an exasperated expression. "Y-yes, like the choking."

"What else have you thought about?"

"I'm sorry, do you want me to outline my sexual fantasies for you?" Anika retorts.

Matt's mouth drops open when she calls him out, the skin of his neck tinging pink with a blush. "I'm just trying to understand what you're so scared about Kylo Ren seeing," he says after a long, tense moment.

"I'm fairly certain he's not going to be happy about some underling, getting off to the thought of him…. You know," Anika concludes lamely, looking away from Matt.

When Matt is still silent a minute later though, she can't stand it anymore. She looks back to see the blush on his skin has grown, his ears now also tinged red. Worse yet, she finds herself thinking it's cute. Most of the men on the ship are lewd, or cocky. She finds Matt's shy blush to be refreshing, bringing to mind thoughts of what else she could do to make him blush. My hormones are going to be the death of me. She forces herself to drop that entire line of thinking, and focus.

"It was explicit, okay?" she offers, her voice wavering with hesitation. "Very explicit, and very detailed, and I liked it. A lot."

She sees his throat bob as he swallows hard. "Oh," Matt offers in response.

He's judging me…He thinks I'm a freak… Fantastic.

"From what I've heard, that's not how it works," Matt adds.

Anika raises her eyebrows. "Not how what works?"

"Um, Kylo Ren's power. If you aren't thinking it right then, I don't think he'd know all the things you've thought in the past?" Matt tries to explain. "He'd have to, um, pry a little deeper? Like an interrogation."

Anika cringes at the word interrogation. Definitely not mentioning that specific fantasy now… Nope, I'm going to act like that's never crossed my mind…

"How do you know how his power works? Who told you?" she asks curiously. She has to admit the information he's shared helps. It's comforting to know that the commander won't be able to immediately access all of her shameful imaginings.

Matt shifts awkwardly on the bed, lifting his hand up as if to run it through his hair before he seems to stop himself. His hand drops back down to clasp the other one in his lap. "Um… I just heard it. Around. People talk."

Anika wants to press more, confused about exactly which people he's heard talk about how Kylo Ren's force powers function. It's not a topic of gossip she's ever been included in, anyway. But instead she sags with at least partial relief, rubbing at her forehead where a dull headache had begun. She's still anxious, the thought of having to closely control all of her thoughts for an entire shift unpleasant. But maybe, just maybe, she'll survive it.

"Thanks," she mumbles. "That helped, a little."

"Of course," Matt reassures her.

They sit in silence. Anika can barely stand the quiet, regretting asking him to come in person. She should've sucked it up and dealt with it on her own, or at least kept the discussion through the messaging. She figures he's probably feeling awkward, and gives him an out.

"Um. You don't have to stay, if you don't want to," she offers.

"I can stay a little, if you want," Matt replies immediately. "I don't mind."

"Oh, okay," Anika says. She chances a glance over to see Matt staring at his hands in his lap. She'd never really paid attention to them before, but realizes they're massive. She practically shakes her head, trying desperately to not let her mind go there.

"I don't think you're a freak," Matt says suddenly.

Anika stares in confusion. Her attention is drawn, thankfully, away from his long, thick fingers. "What? I never said you did."

His eyes widen behind the glasses. "Right, I know," he fumbles over his words. "I just mean, those things you said you thought about… it didn't make me think bad about you. I liked hearing it."

"Oh?" Anika asks quickly. "Do you have some kinky thoughts of your own, Matt?"

Whoops. She looks down, making a face as she realizes just how flirtatious her attempt at teasing him came out. She'd meant for it to be a little flirty, but her voice had made it fully salacious. And she can't stop her eyes from darting over to his hands, rising up to his face to see how he's reacting.

Matt's eyes meet hers, full of hesitation. He laughs nervously. "No," he says. "Nothing…like what you think of."

Anika knows she should retreat from this line of discussion. She's crossing a line, and she doesn't want to make him uncomfortable. But he admitted he liked hearing her sexual thoughts, right? Wasn't that inviting her to cross the line? What if he was open to her, the same way she'd been noticing her attraction to him?

She turns her body towards him more, examining his profile. Matt catches her gaze, the hesitation in his brown eyes slowly turning to something else. She recognizes it, can feel the tension rise up between them. I should not do this, nope…No, this is a bad idea…

But why not? Matt had said it himself, he was not a gossip. She could trust him to keep it between them, and they were both adults… And he is very attractive, she thinks, even with the oversized glasses and mop of messy blonde hair. Kylo Ren might impale me on his lightsaber tomorrow. Might as well go for a different kinda lightsaber tonight.

"So you liked hearing my fantasies?" she asks. Matt nods, and she's thrilled to see the intensity in his eyes grow. Even though his body seems to become more nervous, his hands clenching. Maybe he hasn't done this much before, but she doesn't care.

"Do you want to hear more about Kylo Ren? Or maybe about someone else?" she offers.

"Kylo Ren," he replies immediately.

Anika falters for a moment. Had he not realized she was trying to turn things around to focus on him? Whatever. Maybe he's into that sort of thing. Either way, she goes for it.

"Well, the one night I couldn't sleep. And earlier I had seen Kylo Ren screaming at this officer in the bridge, and pinning him to the wall," Anika begins.

Matt is focused fully on her, his eyes unblinking as he gives rapt attention to her words. "And I just started thinking about how scary that would be, if Kylo Ren used the force on me. But then I also thought it might be… Strangely hot?" she continues.

His adam's apple bobs as he swallows, and she sees the way he wets his lower lip. She takes it as a positive sign to keep going. "So I pictured if he came into my room that night… And I suddenly couldn't move. He'd pin me down, and rip my clothes off me with the force."

She pauses, watching Matt's lower lip fall, his mouth open slightly as he seems to be breathing heavier. He's definitely into what she's saying, and so she decides to share more. "And I just imagined how vulnerable I'd feel, completely naked in front of him while he's behind that mask. I wouldn't be able to do anything, not even move a muscle, but I think I'd love it. Being helpless while he does whatever he wants."

"And then what?" he breathes, barely loud enough for her to hear.

Anika nearly smiles, thrilled he's so interested. She'd never been very good at sexy talk, but it seems to be working on Matt. He's hanging on her words like he's a starving man, and she's serving up a buffet. She notices the way his eyes drift now, from her face down her lips, lower…Lingering at the neckline of her sleep shirt before darting back up to her eyes.

Anika starts imagining it, the way she had that night. She imagines being frozen beneath the shadowy mass of Commander Ren. Goosebumps creep over her skin as she pictures him standing over her, the buzz of his breath through the helmet, his black glove outstretched. Her eyes focus on Matt's full lips, and she wonders what they'd feel like against hers. She takes a breath before she keeps going.

"Then I pictured him touching me, and it turned me on so much. Thinking of those gloves touching me everywhere, wrapping around my throat…Squeezing, owning me… The taste of leather in my mouth when he makes me suck on his fingers, before he-"

She's cut off when Matt jumps up suddenly, taking her by surprise. "I, uh," he begins, his eyes suddenly refusing to meet hers. He starts for the door, and she jumps up in confusion. "I have to go."

"What?!" Anika asks, mouth hanging open. Had she gone too far? But he'd been enjoying it, hadn't he? Was it possible she'd misread his reactions that badly?

"I'm really sorry," Matt insists, but his voice is a little too forced to be believable. "There's this thing. That I have to go do. Right now."

The door slides shut behind him, leaving her to stare at it in shock. Fuuuuuuuuuck.

The Next Morning

Anika stares at her messages, trying to talk herself out of sending an apology to Matt. She'd typed one up and nearly sent it right after he walked out of her room the night before. But she'd stopped herself, not wanting to make things even more weird between them. Surely it will be better if she makes amends in person, right?

She isn't even sure if she needs to make amends. Anika is nearly positive Matt had been into what she was saying. But then why had he stormed off in a rush?

She just hopes he was serious about not gossiping. She really doesn't want to be called in for disciplinary action for making advances on her trainee. Anika forces herself to sit down the datapad. She'll see Matt on her next regular shift, and she'll apologize for the direction the conversation took. That's it. It'll be fine. Perfectly fine.

Maybe she'll talk to Darial about it. She has enough time to grab a caffa with her friend, before reporting to the hangar.

Anika finishes getting dressed and lacing on her work boots, before leaving her room. She hurries towards the cafeteria, helping herself to caffa and then scanning the large dining space for Darial. She spots her friend, hurrying over.

"Hey! I was beginning to think you weren't going to make it this morning," Darial greets her when she drops down to sit across from her.

"Yeah, it's been a weird morning," Anika says, sipping the burning hot liquid tentatively. It almost scalds her tongue, but she is impatient.

"Are you still scheduled for Commander Ren's shuttle today?" Darial asks, frowning. She pushes a muja muffin across the table towards her. "I got you one, in case they were all gone by the time you got here."

"Yes, I am. And I'm actually not hungry. I'm sorry, that was nice of you," Anika says apologetically. She leaves out the part where she isn't hungry, because she stress ate half a box of chocolate after Matt left.

Her friend shrugs. "I will never complain about eating a second muja muffin. Are you nervous, or feeling better about it now? I still feel bad I wasn't up to talk last night."

"It's fine. Actually, Matt came over to talk," she mentions. "Things got…weird."

Darial squints, trying to remember, as she peels the wrapper off the breakfast pastry. "Matt…Is that the one you're training? The one you said was kind of awkward?"

"Yeah… I think I might have messed that up." Anika sees the way Darial pauses midbite, her eyes turning curious. When she talks again, its around a mouth full of muffin.

"How did-oo mess it up?" A couple crumbs drop from her lips before she swallows. "Did he hit on you?"

Anika winces, searching the cafeteria around them. She's wondering if Matt's there, if maybe she could attempt to clear things up with him sooner rather than later. The thought is tempting, rather than putting it off to their next shift together. But she doesn't see his face anywhere.

"Um, so I actually hit on him? Kind of?" she answers. Darial's eyes widen and she rushes to explain. "I thought he was into it? He was into it, I swear. But then he ran off."

"Anika, I don't mean this to sound insulting, but I have to ask. How did you hit on Matt? Because if it's the approach you've used in the past-"

"No, kriff, no I did not just throw myself on him," Anika rushes to deny. "I told you, I panicked with Liam. We were both in that storage unit and I just… No. I didn't jump Matt's bones."

"So what did you do?"

She makes a face, closing her eyes with reluctance.

"That bad?" Darial presses.

Anika sighs. "So a while ago, I might have confessed to Matt that I'd once thought about Commander Ren choking me," she begins, dropping her voice down to a whisper. Darial's eyes widen further, now comically round. "Oh don't make that face, I know you've thought about it too."

"I'm not into that stuff," Darial refuses, shaking her head.

"You mean the fun stuff?"

Darial rolls her eyes. "Anyway, continue…"

"I was explaining I was nervous to work with Commander Ren, in case he could see anything I had thought about him," Anika whispers furtively. "And Matt seemed like he was really interested, and so I kind of started telling him about a particular fantasy I'd had…"

Darial groans. "Anika…"

"I know! Okay, I get it, I shouldn't have done that…" She drains the last of her caffa. "Maybe if I'm lucky, Commander Ren will kill me for thinking kinky thoughts and then I won't have to deal with Matt. Death would solve most of my problems."

"You know I hate your negative sense of humor," her friend chides. "You shouldn't joke about that. I'm sure Matt will understand if you just assure him you can keep things professional in the future."

Anika nods, trying to ignore the giant clock on the wall. But it's impossible, as it's ticking down the seconds until she needs to leave for the hangar. She can feel the anxiety starting already, tightening up her lungs, making nervous energy build in her limbs.

"I have to get back to work," Darial says regretfully. "We're swamped in the medbay."

Anika nods. "Right. I should head off to my imminent doom."

"It'll be okay," Darial insists, standing. "Just keep your mind on your work, and don't daydream. I doubt the commander will even notice you."

Anika nods in agreement, and they part ways. She heads across base, towards the hangar where the ships are stored and take off. As she walks, she tries to focus on her breathing. It helps to keep it calm, and also stops her from imagining a lightsaber impaling her body.

The hangar is massive, way larger than she remembers. Then again, it's been a long time since she's had to come here for anything. She moves quickly, searching for the right bay before punching in her credentials for access. The large door slides open, and she walks in with what she hopes is a confident stride.

Anika can already make out the commander's shuttle, as this bay is far less crowded than some of the others she had passed. She makes her way towards it, and none of the stormtroopers standing around question her. As she gets closer, she sees him. Commander Ren. He's standing by the bay controls, talking to someone in an officer's uniform.

Kriff, he's even taller than I remembered. Anika realizes she's already thought about him, despite her entire goal of the day to be not thinking about him. This is going to be impossible.

No. It's fine. Just focus on the shuttle. Get on the shuttle, and just…find something to work on.

She's walking towards it, entirely focused on that goal, when the shuttle in question explodes. One minute she's staring at a perfectly fine ship, the next minute, it's a fireball. Anika is flung backwards, colliding with the wall of the hangar with enough force to knock the air from her chest.

She stares, blinking, at the flaming remains of the ship. Pieces of it are scattered around the hangar, and for a moment she's tempted to feel herself over to ensure there isn't a shard of metal sticking out of her body. What the…

Her ears are ringing from the noise of the explosion, thoughts scrambled as she tries to understand what just happened. She still can't quite catch her breath, and the air is quickly thickening with the smoke of burning wreckage.

The troopers around her that were also flung outwards right themselves, and one has the good sense to start trying to put out the fire. A large fire containment droid is already rolling over, activating from where it was dormant along the side of the bay. Anika's staring at the flames, disoriented, when the black-clad legs block her view.

Her mouth hangs open when Commander Ren crouches in front of her, his mask only a couple feet from her face. "Are you injured?"

She stares at the dark space where his eyes should be, trying to gather words to answer him. But she's out of it, and can only shake her head. The motion sends her vision swirling, and the commander's head dances in front of her eyes. She feels like she's going to be sick, clamping her lips together in horror at the thought of vomiting on Commander Ren's boots.

His mask disappears from her view, but she hears him yell for a trooper. A moment later, one of them arrives by her side.

"She needs medical treatment. Take her to the medbay, now."

"Yes, sir!"

The trooper reaches down, taking a hold of Anika's arm to help her to her feet. She stares at the commander as he turns and begins to walk away, feeling like she should say something. But her mind is scattered, head beginning to throb painfully now. She blurts out the first thing that comes to her.

"Thank you for the chocolate, Commander Ren!"

The stormtrooper's helmet slowly turns towards her, cocking as he stares at her. "Wow. You must have hit your head really hard."