He kisses her aggressively, invading her mouth with his tongue, his hand wrapping around the back of her head to hold her close. Anika's surprise fades, giving way to fervor. It's all she can do to yield to him, to try to match his motions even as he devours her lips. Her own eagerness surprises her. How can she be so turned on by a man, without even knowing what he looks like?
She raises a hand, searching out the commander's hair. She'd seen it earlier in the hangar, black and messy, and wants to feel it. When she finds it, she tangles her fingers in the strands, finding some strange pleasure in knowing at least that part of him. But her touch skims lower, longing to feel a single feature of the face she's reaching up to kiss.
Ren growls, and her hands are both flung backwards against the wall. Anika pulls away from his mouth, gasping with surprise at the abrupt interruption. She tries to pull free, only to find he's pinned her forearms there with the force. Her belly lurches with nerves, equal parts arousal and fear, as Ren claims her mouth once more.
He nips at her lip, and the sharp moment of pain makes a strangled noise leave her throat. The commander just presses his broad body against hers, smashing her into the wall. His hands roam her, lips demanding more from her, their noses clashing messily. She battles to capture his lower lip, sucking on it hungrily.
Something about his kissing is sparking lust in her like she's never felt before. He's consuming, without patience or hesitation. She sinks her teeth into his lip, and Ren snarls in response. She's never kissed someone like this before, never had her arousal turn into something so close to violence. It's so different from…
"Matt," she gasps, horrified. The thought of him makes her stomach sink, picturing his warm eyes and cute face. She feels guilty immediately. What… what am I doing!?
At the sound of another's name exiting her mouth, Ren steps back from her. Her wrists are released, the force disappearing to drop her hands free.
"I-I'm sorry," she stutters out. "I-There's someone-I don't know…"
He says nothing, and she struggles to catch her breath, wishing he'd speak. Her lips feel swollen, nearly raw from his passion. Should she say more? She isn't even sure that she and Matt are a thing. Maybe she's stupid for stopping him, over another man that she'd only kissed.
She opens her mouth, fighting for words to explain herself. To explain that she isn't necessarily taken, but that she hadn't ever meant to do this, either. That this sudden violent lust had taken her by surprise, that she feels dizzy and feverish and-
It doesn't matter. The hatch slams closed, signaling that Commander Ren has left the shuttle.
Later
…Is he coming back? He has to come back! He's not getting off this planet if he doesn't come back…Where the hell has he gone!? Is he that pissed at me?
Granted, she had just said another man's name while kissing him. That was a serious no-no… Anika clicks her flashlight on, getting up off the seat she's been sitting on for however long since the commander stormed out.
His helmet is nowhere to be seen, and neither is his lightsaber. What if he finds another ship that works, and just takes off and leaves me here!?
He wouldn't do that, would he? Anika searches the storage bins, until she finds the one with blasters stored, clipped neatly into place. She frees one, having no idea how to use the thing. How hard can it be? Point and shoot, right?
She takes a deep breath, approaching the hatch. Then she stands there. Time stretches on, and she gets no closer to opening the door to the outside. Can't you just come back and spare me having to go out there… Damnit Ren…
The longer she stands there, hesitating, the more she'd like to slap his helmet right off him for walking out…Or bite his lip again… She could've explained, it really was a simple misunderstanding. …Or was it? Anika knows she likes Matt…doesn't she? She has no idea what she was doing with Commander Ren… She'd never dared to let herself consider it seriously, until it was already happening.
"Ugh!" She slams her hand into the hatch control, if only to escape her own confusing thoughts.
The sounds of the planet at night immediately grow louder, some low-pitched crackling, gravelly sounds meeting her ears. There are distant calls, some high pitched, some sounding like far away screaming. I fucking hate this fucking planet…
Anika shines her flashlight on the ramp, descending slowly. Her other hand holds the blaster, fingers sweaty on the grip. Something makes a loud, cackling laugh of a noise close by, and she spasms with fear. Her hand slides on the blaster as she spins, directing the flashlight at the jungle life near the ramp.
"What the fuck was that…" she breathes, eyes wide with terror. But she sees nothing there, just the overgrown mushrooms and spiky cones. The ones with gills are all fluttering, moving rhythmically in the night air. Why do I feel like the mushrooms are watching me?
She searches with the dim beam of light a moment longer, but the terrifying, throaty cackle doesn't happen again. Ooooh, fuck fuck, fuckity fuck…
"Commander Ren?" Anika calls out. Can you maybe stop being an impossible fuck, and come back to the ship?
Her voice came out weak, and she has to try again to project it better. "REN!? Are you out there?" she yells.
Something roars in the distance, and her mouth clamps shut. Fear makes her heart pound, her already clammy skin growing sweaty once more. What if he's dead? What if something's out there, snacking down on Commander Ren's bits and I'm alone here?
Anika forces herself to continue down the ramp, but hesitates before she can step onto the dirt. "COMMANDER REN!" She shouts again. The chattering, buzzing, and chirping of the wilderness is her only response.
"Night time isn't when you explore a strange world!" she rants, using a mocking tone of voice to recall his earlier words. "I'm Commander Ren, and I'm OFF EXPLORING A STRANGE WORLD AT NIGHT TIME!"
Anika scans the surrounding forest with the light, wishing it would all just shut up for a minute. She's so on edge, she's nearing panic, and it's ridiculously noisy. Her flashlight falls on something insanely large, her eyes fixating to try to discern details. It's got a massive shell on its back, and is moving slowly. She can't quite make it out between the stalks, but she raises the blaster preemptively.
"Ren…?" she calls one last time. "Ren, Sir, get your giant, moody ass back here, please!?" She's dreading the thought of having to venture away from the ship to look for him. Foolishly, she thinks if she just insults him enough, maybe he'll appear.
The shelled creature crawls within the beam of light, and she sees large, curling appendages waving from beneath the shell.
"What the fuck is that…" Anika mutters weakly, finger tightening on the trigger.
"Are you going to shoot a snail?"
She screams, whirling at the voice right next to her. Commander Ren catches her wrist, stilling the blaster before she can direct it on impulse at his chest.
For one moment Anika shakes in his grasp, fear not wanting to let go of her body. Then she snaps, whirling to point the flashlight at him accusingly. It only glares off the metal on his mask, reflecting right back into her face. "Where have you been!?"
"Underneath the ship," Ren retorts. He releases her, tugging at the blaster instead. Anika lets go, and he pulls it from her grip. Ren holds it up into the beam of light, making a noise.
"The safety is on. You couldn't have even killed the giant snail if you tried," he remarks dryly.
"You've been. Underneath. The ship. This entire time!?" Anika grinds out.
"Aren't you pleased my giant, moody ass was not exploring a strange world at night time?" he retorts.
"You could have said something four heart attacks ago," she practically shouts at him.
"Four heart attacks seemed about enough," Ren mutters, turning to stalk up the ramp towards the hold.
"Look, about what happened-" Anika begins, launching quickly into the mental apology she'd already prepared. But Commander Ren doesn't give her a chance.
"I wasn't thinking clearly. Let's drop it."
She follows him up the ramp, frowning. "But…"
"Drop it," Ren orders harshly, gesturing at the open hatch. She enters first, stepping aside to make room for him behind her. The door closes once more, muting the jungle noises.
Ren stalks away from her, towards the cockpit. Anika sighs, finding the blanket where she'd dropped it earlier and sitting it on the first seat in the row. She lays down, propping her head on the blanket and extinguishing the flashlight to conserve the battery. She's already probably used it too much, but childishly blames that on the commander.
He didn't even give me a chance to explain… Does he think I was rejecting him? I just don't know what to do, it's not fair to Matt… is it? I told him I like him… But she has to admit, she also liked Commander Ren's kiss. While it was slightly terrifying in how close to unhinged it felt, it was also thrilling. He hadn't held back. It was like all control was gone, he was wild, and she… loved it.
The guilt returns when she thinks that. Anika rolls, attempting to find a comfortable position and to stop her thoughts. Maybe Commander Ren is listening, or maybe he is being obstinate. Her mood has turned so foul, she hardly cares. Her skin is still hot, and she can't seem to find a way to lay that doesn't make some part of her feel overheated.
…I never thought I'd want to go back to Starkiller Base, but… I'd take a trash heap over this planet.
Morning
Ironic that she was wishing for a trash heap, given that Anika wakes up feeling like reheated garbage. Her back aches, the muscles of her thighs strangely sore. Her head pounds with her pulse. She's still feverish feeling, a sensation that's apparently become her new normal on Planet Hell.
She sits up, rubbing at her eyes, a foul expression on her face. Commander Ren's rustling through the storage bins again, and she jerks when he tosses a food pack at her.
"You need to eat something, and rehydrate," he orders. "I've already determined the wreckage nearest us that will most likely have the parts we need."
Anika scowls when he opens the hatch, allowing foggy morning light to fill the space. "Did you even sleep? Or did you spend all night being crabby?"
Ren's mask turns to her. "Watch it," he warns. "I'm still your superior."
Anika rolls her eyes, tearing open the food. His attitude is pissing her off. "Were you my superior before, during, or after you jammed your tongue down my throat?"
"All of the above," Ren replies threateningly. "I'm not going to tolerate insubordination."
"I'll insubordinate you if I want to," she retorts petulantly, narrowing her eyes at the mask and chewing far more angrily than she needs to.
Commander Ren is silent, and some, distant part of her brain reminds her that is probably a bad thing. Yesterday, it would have scared her. It's entirely possible he's considering murdering her, but she can't seem to care. So sticky…why is the air so sticky…
"…What has gotten into you?" Ren asks quietly, now sounding more intrigued than irritated.
"Not your copulatory organ, that's for sure," Anika snaps bitterly. She grabs one of the emergency canteens that he's left near the seats. The water meeting her lips make her realize how thirsty she is, and she drinks greedily.
She's guzzling down water when Ren removes a glove, peeling it off to reveal the pale skin of his hand. He comes forward without warning, pressing the back of his hand to her forehead. Anika tries to flinch away, but he catches her with his other hand, holding her still.
She blinks up at his mask, confused. "What are you doing?" she asks.
"You're running a fever," he observes. "…Do you feel strange?"
"I feel annoyed. And hot."
He drops his hand from her skin, and the mask cocks to the side as he surveys her. "Anything else?"
She considers that, frowning, before releasing some of the angry thoughts buzzing about her mind. "I hate this planet. I want to borrow your lightsaber so I can chop apart every stupid fucking mushroom I see. And the giant snail. Fuck that snail."
"Hmm."
"What?" Anika attempts to drink more water, only to realize she's drained the canteen. I'm still so thirsty…
"You seem to have even less common sense than usual," Ren observes, as though studying her for science. "And you appear far more aggressive."
"Aggressive? Maybe I caught something from you," she suggests rudely, before frowning. Why am I taking digs at Commander Ren? He could murder me with his mind, this is not smart. "…I am acting weird, aren't I?"
He nods once. "I think you may be infected with something."
She considers that. Enough logic remains in her brain for her to realize her behavior is unusual. The fear she'd felt yesterday, and last night, is gone. Now she's just one hot, sweaty ball of irritation. No sense of self preservation, just angry and bitchy. It's like PMS on steroids…
"Well, if that's the case, why aren't you infected too?" Anika asks. "You're also on Planet Hell, so shouldn't you have what I have?"
Ren sighs. "I don't know. I feel fine, as of right now."
She cocks her head, narrowing her eyes. "To be sure, maybe you should take that mask off. I can feel you for a fever."
The mask stares at her, and he doesn't budge to remove it. "Nice try," he remarks flatly, sounding unimpressed. "But I don't think we need to deal with that right now."
"You're seriously going to keep that thing on this whole time?" Anika pushes incredulously.
"If you're sick, the last thing we need to do is argue-"
"You can lick my tonsils, but I don't get to see your face?" she interrupts him angrily.
"Stop it," Ren grinds out. "I need you to try to control yourself. You're being ridiculous."
"I know what you are, but what am I?" she snaps, before flinching. "…Kriff, what the hell is wrong with me…"
"I'll find you something for the fever in the medbay. Let's hurry up and get the parts we need, so we can get you off this planet," Ren suggests.
Anika nods, biting down the snarky remarks that want to bubble from her mouth. Deep, deep down…Underneath the sweaty rage, some part of her mind is horrified at how far she's pushed Commander Ren. I better hope he doesn't get whatever I have…
If it's managed to make her this angry and aggressive feeling, she doesn't even want to picture what it would do to Commander Ren. Mushroom World would not make him into a fungi…Fun guy… She can't bring herself to laugh, rolling her eyes instead. She's even irritating herself.