(A/N): We're back with Elaine, Mia, Dahrya, and Remus. Lots of philosophy in this one, which really takes us back to the early days of this story where I just said shit as I tried to figure out my world view through my characters. I guess this counts as your friendly reminder that Dahrya is Greygorry's daughter?

Elaine

It hurt to hear- hurt to think about; the possibility that it could be true, no matter how slim that chance might be. Did I think Leo could be genuinely incapable of being selfish- or interested in self-preservation? Yes. Did I think that had any bearing on his desire to help people, and be kind? No. No, I think that was entirely unrelated, at least in so far as that his compassionate nature wouldn't allow him to do anything less. "I don't know if Leo knows how to do those things," I said, if only because Mia was still speechless. "But I don't see how that matters. The ability to be selfish, and the desire to be selfless, are not mutually exclusive."

Dahrya shrugged. "One might argue that the ability to be selfish allows the ability to be selfless if one chooses, since if he only has the chance to act selflessly, there's no choice to be had." Uh... if I understood that correctly, I thought she had a point. "Not fighting back because you can't doesn't make you a pacifist, it makes you weak. You can't be truly selfless without the capability for selfishness- do you get it now?" Er... sort of?

"How do you prove that someone's incapable of something, rather than just choosing not to be?" Remus asked somewhat rhetorically. "How do we know Leo doesn't know how to be selfish, instead of simply choosing to be selfless? And on that note, how do we define capability- or choice?" Well, at least someone could keep up with Dahrya's philosophising.

"If someone makes the same choice over and over again without feeling like they can do something else, can we really assume they're making said choice of their own free will? What is free will? Does it truly exist, and if so, are we born with it, or-"

Mia groaned loudly, burying her head in her hands and shaking it. "Oh, Merlin, please stop! My brain can't take much more of this!" I couldn't help but agree.

"If Leo isn't helping people because it makes him happy, what other reason could he have for doing so? Clearly it's not because it's of any other benefit to him, personally," I said, and Dahrya nodded.

"Maybe because he's worried if he doesn't... Well, you tell me." I couldn't tell if she was looking at me or Mia for an answer, but I let Mia take it, since she seemed more prepared.

She wasn't quite glaring, but her eyes were narrowed unhappily nonetheless- though whether it was the question that had put that expression on her face, or the answer, I had no way of knowing. "You think Leo only helps people because if he doesn't, it would make him a bad person." Oh. Oh. "You think- Well, you think that Leo thinks if he does anything less than perfectly 'good', it means he's 'bad'. That isn't exactly something new- exclusive to after he found out. Leo was... He's always been sensitive to scolding or criticism." That didn't surprise me in the slightest. "Amelia said she always felt bad whenever she had to tell him off, because she knew he'd take it more personally than, say, I might." Didn't he always?

"I think Leo helps people because he feels bad if he doesn't- not 'bad' in the moral sense, but bad as in he feels bad about it. Leo's... well, you know Leo's very empathetic- compassionate. He doesn't like making people feel bad, because it makes him feel the same way. I- I'm going in circles, aren't I?" It was somewhat gratifying to see Remus struggling to explain things as well- though the prevailing emotion was that of worry, considering he'd been the only one keeping up with Dahrya before now.

"If you only do good things to avoid making yourself feel bad, are you actually a good person, or are you just doing good things for selfish reasons?" Dahrya asked, probably rhetorically.

I crossed my arms over my chest, more fed up than I usually would've been because she was talking about Leo, rather than anyone else. "I'm sure I could say something about whether good people truly exist or not, or maybe about how doing the right thing for the wrong reason is still the right thing, but instead, I'm just going to say that no matter the reason Leo is doing things, he's making his own choices." She started opening her mouth, and I cut her off. "If you really believe free will doesn't exist, then there's no point trying to work those reasons out, because they aren't his to choose." She blinked, then frowned, then after a long second, shrugged.

"I suppose that's fair," She said. "You were telling us about Leo?" This was very clearly directed at Mia, whose mouth corners twitched as though she was considering a smile.

"Right, Leo. My big brother. My kind, sweet, utterly selfless, big brother." She shot me and Remus a cheeky look that would've had me smothering a laugh if I wasn't still suffering the after-effects of Dahrya's debate of ethics and morality.

Dahrya rolled her eyes. "Yeah, that one. As opposed to your other, more selfish, bitter, and cruel brother." Remus snorted quietly, which she seemed inordinately chuffed about.

"Well, what do you want to know?" Mia asked, which... was a very loaded question. Fortunately, I didn't have to think about what to ask about, because Dahrya answered before Remus or I had the chance to come up with anything.

"You said you don't know how he ended up with his father, because it happened after he was thrown out." Mia nodded, although clearly curious as to where she was going with this. "And you said your father wasn't all that interested in either of you- in having kids-" Where was she going with this? "-but what was Leo's relationship with your parents like, before they found out? Before he found out? Other than them trying to teach you to be awful, or turn you against each other, I mean?" That... might actually be an extremely important question, if Mia could answer us honestly.

Not that I thought she would try to lie to us- at least not about this, about Leo- but I could never be sure how closely someone like Mia had chosen to examine such things. Would she give us- inevitably painful- objective insight, or just blow the whole thing off as being the same as it appeared on the surface? "I'm sure if you asked him now, he'd play coy- at least when it comes to mother. He'd tell you that father was always awful- which is true- and list off all the bad things he's ever done, to us and to others, but mother... When I used to ask Leo about her- or whenever I used to complain about her- he'd tell me good things. He made sure I knew that she wasn't..." She trailed off, expression incredibly pained, but before Remus or I could ask, Dahrya snorted and immediately cracked a joke.

"Should've known Leo was a mummy's boy." Oh, he was a mummy's boy, alright- it was just Lisbet who was taking the role of 'mummy', rather than Cipicia. Mia must not have known this, though, because she narrowed her eyes at Dahrya slightly.

"I wouldn't go that far, but he was... He did advocate for her, at times. Even when it certainly didn't benefit him." Advocate...? For Cipicia? That didn't sound like the Leo I knew- or the Cipicia I knew, either.

Remus was just as confused and disgruntled as I was. "What do you mean, he 'advocated for her'? What 'good things' did he tell you about her?" Mia hesitated, shrugging somewhat self-consciously, which was odd for her.

"He told me a lot of things I was too young to remember happening, most of them just... pleasant little tidbits- but one of the things he always came back to was the lullabies." The what now? "He said she used to sing to us, when we were really little, but as we got older- when neither of us was a baby anymore- she stopped, for the most part. She still sung to Leo sometimes- he was her favorite, after all- but nowhere near as often, and only when she was... in a really, really good mood." Cipicia used to... sing to them? To Leo? The concept seemed so alien to me, when it came to my view of her. "He used to sing to me, too." There wasn't even a split second where I thought it was her father she was talking about.

"Leo used to sing to you?" I clarified, and Mia nodded, her eyes shimmering with unshed tears.

"I think it started because he wanted to remind me- give me a frame of reference for what he was telling me- but he made a mistake." What kind of mistake? "When I think of a parent singing me a lullaby, I don't hear my mother's voice- or anyone else's, other than Leo's. It's his face I used to see, when I imagined a guardian, if not a parent- because he was the one who took care of me. And the sad part is, I don't think he knows how much those sorts of things shaped me. As a person, I mean."

I couldn't help but soften at that- because I knew it wasn't true. Or at least, that it had done a lot to shape him, too. "Mia... have you ever thought that maybe Leo's extreme desire to help people- his compassion and caring nature- were influenced by those early years as well? That by wanting to take care of you, he inspired an insatiable urge to protect and nurture, that may not have been quite so prevalent if he hadn't?"

She blinked. "I-" She paused, her face scrunching as though she was struggling with this possible revelation, and to hold back more tears. "No, Elaine," She said quietly- barely more than a whisper, as if she couldn't bring herself to speak any louder. "I hadn't thought about that."

(A/N): Mia only hearing Leo's voice when she thinks of a parent singing her a lullaby was unintentionally inspired by Avatar: The Last Airbender, when Sokka says the face he sees when he pictures his mother is his sister, Katara's.

At this point I've written 21 chapters for 2026, which means I've finished the first chapter meant to be published in May, which is chapter 636.