(A/N): Hey Guys! Does everyone else have as much trouble naming chapters, or is it just me?
Disclaimer: I own nothing your recognize.
Trigger Warning: Mentions of self harm. Sort of what amounts to an anxiety attack, basically?
Leo
As soon as I got upstairs to the boys dormitory, I shut myself away in the bathroom, pressing my back hard against the door, and my hands started to shake as I tried to hide my face behind them.
"Fuck." I hissed, taking in a shuddering breath as I swept my hand down, brushing it over the still tender scars under my shirt.
That had been too close, way too close... if Elaine ever realized what had actually caused those scars, she'd freak out.
I could never let her find out, I couldn't put that on her shoulders- tears beaded in my eyes, and I blinked them back, trying to force myself to calm down.
"Okay- Okay." I whispered shakily, running a hand through my hair as I pushed myself upright. I straightened my jaw and lifted my chin- something I had learned from my mother, a look of pure strength and, oddly enough, defiance.
I was going to be strong, I was going to get through this, dad would want me to- Dad... No, don't think about it- don't think about him.
My father was dead, there was no bringing him back, nothing I could do, and right now I had other things to worry about- like my now ex-girlfriend.
It was a mutual decision, but that didn't mean I couldn't be upset about it, right? I wasn't going to cry- again. I was too freaked out right now to cry- if I gave in now I'd never be able to stop.
Taking a deep breath and hearing the others start coming up the stairs, I stripped and headed into one of the showers. It wasn't my best thought out plan, given that I only had dirty clothes with me, but it would hide the tears.
I turned the water up full force and hot, considering I could barely feel the scorching heat with my vampire genetics polluting my system, and stayed in there for as long as possible- which was about twenty minutes before the castle booted me out for wasting it's ever replenishing hot water supply.
I gingerly toweled off and dressed, taking a brief minute to brush my hair before opening the door of the bathroom, trying to do it quick like ripping off a band aid.
Sirius
We headed up to the boys dormitory about five minutes after Leo left, trying to give him time to calm himself down, but when we stepped into the dormitory we could hear one of the showers running, and assumed he was in it.
The other boys flopped onto their respective beds, I took Leo's, and the girls perched delicately on the pillow pile in the middle of the room as we waited for Leo to come back in.
"Look, just don't say anything, alright?" Elaine said softly, in case he could hear us over the spray of the water and quiet whine of the pipes, which at this point I was almost certain he could.
"No!" Peter squeaked, and we turned to look at him, mostly out of shock. "I'm tired of not saying anything- Leo's obviously tearing himself up about something, and I'm not just going to stand by and smile while one of my best friends is hurting..." Strong words, but he gained and lost his confidence again before the end of his little speech.
"Yeah, but if we say something, he'll just freak out and go hide in the Room of Requirement- or in the walls or something!" James protested, and Remus's eyebrows furrowed.
"Maybe he won't. Maybe this time he'll want to talk-" Elaine scoffed.
"This is Leo, Remus, he never wants to talk. About anything." She said, with slight bitterness, as she shot a glare at the door of the bathroom.
"With us. Who does he normally talk to about... Stuff?" I shrugged.
"His dad?" There was a pause, then Elaine jumped to her feet, rushing over to where Remus's beat up eagle owl was sleeping in his cage.
"Romulus? Rommie, wake up." The rather temperamental bird lifted his head enough to show his big orange eyes, and Elaine flashed him a smile before snatching a spare piece of parchment from the nearest bedside cupboard. She started to scribble on it, reading the letter aloud as she wrote so we could coach her.
"Dear Ellwood Senior," I cut her off, snorting at her ridiculous greeting.
"Shouldn't you start practicing calling him 'dad', Laney?" Shut up Sirius, I told myself, not wanting to antagonize her while she was already highly strung.
"Shut up, Sirius." She replied in kind, then started writing again. "Would you kindly tell us what the hell is going on with Leo? Thanks, Ghislaine Folley." She finished, glancing back at us for approval before starting to fold it and put it in an envelope.
"You know, you could have just put 'Elaine'. They know who you are." We spun to find Leo standing in the doorway, looking vaguely smug even as he wore a frown that made me shrink, made me think of my mother whenever I stepped out of line.
"I thought formality might go over better." She mused, eyeing him warily as she tied the envelope to Romulus' leg and guided the bird to the widow, where he took off in a sleepy slope.
"I don't think it'll matter- he's been pretty busy, I doubt it'll even get to him." Leo told her before dropping down beside me, shooting me a look that made me want to run, but I struggled to hold my ground, resolving to do something stupid, reckless and very, very mean.
"You look exactly like your mother right now."
(A/N): So, what did you think?
Yes, Nicholai is pretty busy... busy taking a dirt nap.
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This chapter has had a small edit made to it on 4/4/23 - I originally said that Romulus was a barn owl, but upon reevaluation based upon the fact that a character mentions owning a barn owl later, I changed it so that Sirius says that Romulus is a 'beat up eagle owl' (meaning a Eurasian Eagle Owl), rather than a barn owl. I think this fits the way I imagine Romulus better, and Sirius does say that Romulus has 'big orange eyes', when barn owls have really dark eyes- but Eurasian Eagle Owls, DO, in fact, have orange eyes! (or, well, like a honeyed amber).
This chapter has had a minor edit made to it on 26/4/23 - Added the trigger warning.