(A/N): This chapter three (the last one) of the chapters where I wrote a short summary for what I wanted to happen in it, before actually writing the chapter. Leo and Shari have a chat about Hercs' offer to go back to Colombia with him. I'm back from pet sitting for my sister, and I ended up getting three whole chapters written. I asked my sister her opinion on the name for one of the chapters, and she helped me pick the name for 323.

Trigger Warning: Brief mention of self harm. Or basically, references to self harm.

Leo

The urge to eavesdrop on Lisbet and Jerremyah conversation was near impossible to resist. Seriously, I should get a medal for resisting. The only reason I did, is because Lisbet had asked me so nicely to give them privacy.

It was ironic that Lisbet had practically begged me for privacy, when she had violated mine so many times by telling my friends things I didn't want them to know, but I felt like since my father had died, we had turned a corner on that front. After all, she hadn't told them about what had happened to him when they had gone to her for answers, so I guess either she had turned over a new leaf, or she had boundaries after all, and this was the one line she wouldn't cross.

I jogged a fair distance away from the edge of the Estate, parallel to the hunting grounds I knew Herc and Jo were visiting, not wanting to move too quickly lest I jostle Shari too much, but also not wanting to leave too slowly, since I knew there was no way Lisbet and Jerremyah would start talking until they couldn't hear me nearby anymore.

Once I felt we were far enough away from both the estate and the hunting grounds that we wouldn't be overheard, but close enough to be able to run for help if we needed it, I walked right up to the biggest tree I could see, and swept Shari from my shoulder, setting her down on the ground up against the tree.

Before I could even straighten up, I met her eyes, and she blinked at me like she was seeing me for the first time in a long time.

"Leo?" Her voice sounded different, strained and breathy from disuse, and it made my heart throb to hear her say my name like that. It was the first time I had heard her say my name in so long, and it didn't even sound like her.

"Hey, Shars." I rocked back on my heels, trying to think of what to do, what to say, before I realised that I was sort of just looming over her as she stared up at me, so I quickly sat down. Maybe a little too quickly, because she flinched when my butt hit the ground. "Shit, sorry." Her expression crumpled, to the point where I couldn't read it anymore, which worried me.

"Don't." I felt my eyebrows furrow, and I gripped the material of my jeans on my thighs just for something to do with my hands.

"Don't what?" She was quiet for a second, like she was gathering the strength to be able to speak, which scared me. If she was weak enough to need to prepare herself to speak, she was clearly even worse off than I thought.

"Apologise." It was quiet, like the longer word had taken a lot out of her, and I felt my hand jerk without my input, pulling at the denim as it tried to reach out to her.

"I didn't mean to startle you-" She cut me off, which she probably shouldn't have been able to do, considering how weak and quiet she was, but I was so focused on her that I stopped talking the second I saw her take a breath in. Vampires didn't need to breathe, but they did need to expel air to create sound- not to mention that breathing seemed like it would be a hard habit to quit.

"You didn't startle me," I waited, knowing that wasn't the end of the sentence, just that she needed to catch her breath. "I thought you hurt yourself." Fuck, if only you knew. Still, it was sweet that Shari had flinched when she thought I had sat down hard enough to hurt myself.

"Didn't even feel it." The fact that she had the energy to look suspicious made me feel a little bit better about her health. "Shari, really. I didn't." She stared me down for a second more, before letting her head drop slightly. "How're you doing?" I said it as softly as I could while making sure to speak loud enough for her to hear me- I didn't know if the malnourishment might have affected her hearing somehow- and Shari pursed her lips, like she was sick of being asked that question.

"If I had a nickel..." I felt myself smile, thinking that if she could joke, maybe she wasn't as bad as we had all thought.

"I meant the fact that I slung you over my shoulder like luggage and carried you all the way out here just to sit you in the snow up against a tree." She sort of half turned to glance at the tree at her back, like she hadn't realised it was there.

"Oh. I mean... It's scenic, at least." I couldn't contain the snort that tore out of me, and the corner of Shari's lips quirked up in response.

"More scenic than Colombia?" The smile that had started to form on her lips dropped, and I hated to see it go.

"...No, probably not." I forced myself to release my jeans, lest I rip a hole in them- again- and shoved my hands in my pockets. "Herc talked to you." I shrugged.

"Was it supposed to be a secret?" She shook her head so quickly that I worried about her getting dizzy.

"No!" Her voice cracked, and she reached out to rest a hand on my shin, which was the part of my body closest to her. "No, no secrets. Not from you, not about... this." Whether that was her possibly going back to Colombia with Herc, or something else, I couldn't tell.

"Shari..." I started, then broke off to take a deep breath to steady myself, and Shari seemed to know that something big was coming. "You're not... right." She winced, and I removed my hand from my pocket in order to put my hand on hers, where it rested on my shin. "You're not you. And I want you back." When I met her eyes, I saw the tears in them, waiting to be shed, so I dropped my gaze again and kept going.

"I understand that you're grieving. I know, because- because I am too. But I- I can get away from it. Most of the time, I'm at school, and even when I'm not, I'm not...haunted by it." I took another deep breath, squeezing her hand lightly, not wanting to accidentally hurt her. "I'm not haunted by him." I heard her breath hitch, and immediately, the scent of salty tears hit my nostrils.

I reached out and took her other hand as well. "If you need to- If what you need, is to go somewhere he isn't... I think you should do it." I heard her make a sound like a bitten back sob, but I kept going. "If there's any chance that being there is going to help you... I want you to go." Now she sobbed for real, and for a split second after I let her pull her hands from beneath mine, I thought she would get up and leave right now- and then she rocked forward, and the side of her head hit my chest.

Immediately I curled my arms around her, lifting her to sit on my legs so I could tuck her close against my body, and rested my head on hers.

"I'm not- I can't- Leo!" She half keened my name, and it was the first time I had heard her keen anything intelligible that wasn't my fathers' name.

"It's okay. It's okay, it's okay." I kept repeating it into her hair, and after a few minutes, I rubbed my chin on the top of her head, which had the effect of brushing my throat against the side of her head.

Instinctively she responded, rubbing her face into my chest. She was probably smearing snot everywhere, but I didn't care- I could change my shirt, I couldn't get this intimacy with Shari back.

"It's okay. We're okay." I dropped a kiss into her hair, and for whatever reason, that's what made her start crying again- she had just started to calm down, but a kiss made her start again. "Shari. Whatever happens..." I took a deep breath, steeling myself. "I love you." I didn't say it often, and I'd never said it to Shari before, but apparently I shouldn't, because it made her cry even harder. "I- uh, I mean- I don't love you?" She made a choked sound, and I thought for a second that she had inhaled part of my shirt before I realised the sound had been a rather reluctant laugh.

"I love you too, you dork." I heard her mutter into my shoulder, and I felt myself grin without my permission.

A few more minutes passed with us clutching each other, before Shari rubbed her face against my chest one last time, and pulled back. I helped her slow her slide back onto the ground off of my legs with an arm around her back, and Shari gripped my hand tightly, making me concerned that she had lost her balance or something, before she pinned me with her eyes.

"Leo," I knew she was about to say something serious by her tone, and it worried me. "I'm not going anywhere." I started to shake my head, but Shari cut me off. "No. I'm not leaving. Yes, it hurts to be here, where everywhere I look I see... Nicholai," Her voice broke on his name, and I squeezed her hand as she pushed forward. "But I don't think, even if I traveled to the ends of the Earth, there would be a place that I could escape my grief. Halls and rooms, chairs and beds, they're not what make me think of him- my brain is. And no matter how far I go, I can't escape my brain." She paused for a second, looking in the direction I knew the cemetery was- where my fathers' headstone was. "So no, I won't be going anywhere anytime soon." I didn't know what to say to something that deep and emotional, so I just said:

"Wow... Poetic."

(A/N): Leo: *tells Shari he loves her*

Shari: *starts crying harder*

Leo: *panics*

Leo: 'Uh... I take it back?'

This chapter has had a minor edit made to it on 26/4/23 - Added the trigger warning.