(A/N): Leo and Lisbet continue to talk. This chapter gets emotional y'all, in a good way and a bad way.

Trigger Warning: Mentions of suicide/suicidal ideation/talk about not existing anymore (particularly by one's own hand). It still isn't all that bad in this chapter, and it only takes place in the last few lines.

Lisbet

What- he did? He- ...I mean... I guess that made sense, given how I had witnessed him acting recently, but it didn't make sense, just... in the grand scheme of things. It didn't make sense that most people- let alone Leo, of all people- would like Jerremyah. He had said that it was 'unfortunate' that he liked him- so at least I knew he hadn't completely lost his mind.

"What... what does that mean, exactly?" He squeezed my hands lightly, as he took a second to work out what he wanted to say.

"It means... well, it doesn't really mean anything." Well, that certainly wasn't true. "It means that I can't make fun of you for choosing him." A relief, for sure. "For having so much trouble resisting him, yes, but not for choosing him." I rolled my eyes at him again, and huffed out a sigh- and I would have crossed my arms over my chest, but I didn't want to remove my hands from his.

"Just what I always wanted." His lips quirked up into a slight smile, before he clearly made the effort to sober his expression.

"About choosing him..." Uh oh. How awkward was this conversation about to get? "There was a conversation we had- well... it doesn't entirely matter how we got there- or, rather, to quote him, 'it's not my place' to tell you." Since when did Jerremyah care about what was or wasn't, 'his place'? "But in the end, I think you should know, he... he seems to be under the impression that... well..." Spit it out!- No, that wasn't fair to him. I forced myself to try to keep my patience, no matter how much it pained me to do so. "He thinks he's not good enough for you." I blinked, and felt my heart sink in my chest.

"...what?" Leo bit his lip, and tilted his head to the side.

"More specifically, he... he says that he's 'bad for you.'" ...oh. Oh. I guess Leo's earlier protestation about me calling Jerremyah a 'bad influence' made a little more sense, now that I had some context to go along with it.

"He..." No. I didn't know what to say, beyond that, and I was kind of worried that if I opened my mouth before I was ready, all that would come out was a nigh unending scream. Or maybe... a keen.

Jerremyah- my mate- didn't think he was good enough for me? I thought we had gotten past that- a long time ago, now. But this...? He thought he was 'bad for me'? How?

"In what way?" Even I could hear the slight rasp to my voice- and I wondered briefly, whether I might have left Leo waiting. He eyed me somewhat warily, and shrugged.

"It's a long story, that I can't really get into, without other things being shared first." I moved to wave him onward, and he shook his head. "No. Those things aren't for me to say. After you and he have your conversation, we can group up again, all three of us, and have that discussion if you want." If it were anyone else, I would have grabbed them by the shoulders, and shaken them until they gave in, and told me. This was Leo, though, so that was out of the question.

"We definitely will. But... if that's not why you're here, then-" He gave me a pained look, that made my voice catch in my throat.

"I'm afraid I have good news, and bad news. Well... I guess that really depends how you feel about me- and how, er... how well I've managed to get things across." What 'things'?

"You know how I feel about you now, right?" His face scrunched up, and he shrugged, making my hands bob, in his.

"I- I know enough to know you would be sad if I died." ...Oh, Leo... I started to slide my hands up his arms, and even as his lips quirked up, he looked almost nervous. "But that's not- that's not how we're starting this." 'Not how we're starting?' But it was how he was planning to end things? ...God, I hoped that wasn't a literal sort of end.

"And... how did you want to start?" He sucked in a breath and held it, staring into my eyes for a few seconds, before he dropped his eyes to the ground, as he exhaled rather forcefully. That's how I knew it was really something big- he was making a very obvious statement, about how he couldn't bear to meet my eyes while he said this. And Leo, usually- and I assume he had to force himself to do so- kept very solid eye contact with me- and anyone else he was trying to have a particularly deep conversation with.

"I... I wanted to start with... something we've talked about before. In passing. Briefly- much more briefly than we- than I, should have." ...? What was that supposed to mean? "Lis... Tante..." He hesitated again, before he sighed heavily again- letting out a small, clearly frustrated growl at the very end- and brought his hands up, to ever so gently cup my face. "You- I-" He growled again, and I felt bad that he was having so much trouble with this, before he slipped one hand around to the back of my neck, and he yanked me to him- so roughly that it actually shocked me, and we both rocked a little, as my weight- and the force of the movement- knocked him off balance, just a bit.

He buried his face in my neck, very clearly scenting me, and I felt myself smile indulgently, before I raised my hand so I could scratch at the back of his hair, and scented right behind his ear, in return.

"This was supposed to be the easy part." He whispered into the collar of my shirt- and that was a little worrying, wasn't it? "I should have known- there's never an easy part." Well, that was a bit pessimistic- "I love you."

...

What?

Oh. Oh, it all made sense now- something we'd talked about before, briefly, much more briefly than he thought he should have. How long had he been feeling about this? And why- why now? Had he and Jerremyah spoken about this, for whatever reason-? Oh, shit Lisbet, he's waiting! Recover, recover!

"Loveyoutoo." It came out so quickly, all in a rush, and I could feel his tangible bemusement.

"Uh... what? Could... could you repeat that? I didn't quite catch it." I felt a little embarrassed, before I realised that he was being completely sincere- he wasn't just saying that to tease me, he legitimately hadn't been able to understand it, because I had spoken too fast for his brain to comprehend. I pulled back to look him straight in the eyes- he held my gaze now, but I could tell he was only just barely managing it.

"I. Love. You." He flushed, and his gaze dropped, before he wiggled slightly in my arms. I thought, at first, that he was trying to get free, before I realised that it was simply a physical outlet, for being overwhelmed by his fluster. "Je t'aime tellement... Mon Petit Garçon." I hesitated to call him such, but once again, he burrowed into my arms- he didn't push me away, or deny it- he seemed... okay with it, at least.

"Je t'aime aussi, ma..." He was quiet for a second, before he blew a frustrated breath out of his nose. "I never know what to call you." He admitted, and I hesitated again.

"You can call me whatever you want." I felt him shake his head, against my shoulder.

"There aren't words for what you mean to me." ...well, that was incredibly sweet. I suppose I was lucky, that even if I couldn't say it, I had a word for what he meant to me- but even if, by some desperately thin chance, Leo felt the same for me as I did for him, there wasn't really a word for- well... the counterpart, of a kit.

"I... I would like it very much if you might try." He was quiet for a minute, but he kept scenting me in the meantime- showing me he was thinking, rather than just trying to avoid it.

"You... you know- Mes Bras Ouverts." I nodded. "Tante." I hummed quietly, and there was another, slightly longer pause. "Ma Soignante- celui qui s'en soucie." I felt my face soften- I figured this was the best I was going to get. "Mon Sanctuaire." I sucked in a startled breath. "Celui que je souhaite était-" He cut himself off.

"'Wish was', what?" He shook his head.

"Don't make me say it." He whispered, and I waited for a second, before I squeezed him to me- tightly, but human tightly, not vampire tightly.

"Okay, I won't. You're- I'm so proud of you." He froze. "I know I just told you that the other day, but I don't think I did it properly." I kissed the side of his head. "I'm so proud of you, for so many different reasons, but at the forefront of my mind right now... I'm proud of you for being open with us all, especially when I know it's so very hard for you." He was quiet for a minute, and I thought he was flustered again, before he admitted,

"I'm struggling, Lis." My grip on him tightened, but he seemed to relish in it. "I... I can't- the change. I can't be- I won't be- a full vampire. Even if that means-"

No.

"Even if that means... not existing at all."

(A/N): Leo: 'I have good news, and I have bad news. On one hand, I love you- on the other, I want to die. You can decide for yourself which is which.'

also

Leo: *struggles to say 'I love you', but does eventually manage to get it out*

Lisbet: *has a crisis about Leo feeling bad about having only told her he loved her in passing, before realising that he was waiting for her response*

Lisbet: *unintelligible 'Iloveyou'*

Leo: 'Uh... could you repeat that?'

also

Lisbet: 'I'm proud of you for being open with all of us.'

Leo: '...maybe not as open as I should be... but I can fix that.'

also

Leo: 'Jerremyah thinks he's not good enough for you. He thinks he's BAD for you.'

Lisbet: '...'

Lisbet: *screams*

Lisbet: *screams*

Lisbet: *scr-*

Translations (French):

Je t'aime tellement, Mon Petit Garçon. = I love you so much, My Little Boy. ('Mon Petit Garçon.' can also mean 'My Baby Boy', but Lisbet meant, and Leo took it to mean, 'My Little Boy', specifically because of her calling him that in her letter).

Je t'aime aussi, ma... = I love you too, my...

Mes Bras Ouverts = My Open Arms (we've had this one before).

Tante = Aunt. (and this one.)

Ma Soignante- celui qui s'en soucie. = My Caregiver- the one who cares. (Ma being the feminine version of 'my', Soignante being the feminine version of Soignant, meaning 'caregiver' or basically nurse. Leo means 'caregiver' in the literal sense. Lisbet gives him care. When you try and use google translate, it only translates it to the male version, but if you type 'my caregiver female', it gives you 'ma soignante femme', so that, and other things, make me think 'ma soignante' in the appropriate way to say that, rather than 'mon soignant'.)

Mon Sanctuaire = My Sanctuary.

Celui que je souhaite était- = The one I wish was- (what did Leo mean by this? Hm, I wonder! Maybe, one day, we will find out...)