"I wont give up on you; even if I have to knock all the doors around the world to find you."
- M.F. Moonzajer
Later that afternoon, after Maria had changed into some dry clothes, she had opened the door and walked over to the railing on the upper level. She listened down into the foyer and could hear the muffled voices of the children, the Baroness, Uncle Max, and the Captain below. She was not sure if she should rejoin them in the drawing room, or just leave them to enjoy their time together. Finally, she decided to give the family their space, and instead, she went to occupy herself with other activities in the school room. While she was working, there was a rap on the school room door. She paused and looked over her shoulder to find Frau Schmidt in the doorway.
"Fraulein Maria! It appears you have managed to work miracles in the Von Trapp household!" She clapped her hands together in delight and came into the room and perched herself on the edge of the table.
"Frau Schmidt, I would hardly call myself a miracle worker!" Maria replied.
Frau Schmidt smiled widely and shook her head. "No, no, seriously Fraulein Maria! What did you say to the Captain to cause this change of heart? No one, and I mean NO ONE, has been able to get through to the Captain about his ways with the children. I have been trying for years and I have even taken some liberties with my temper, and he still didn't listen! You, my dear, you managed something no one has been able to accomplish in almost four years!"
She clasped her hands together and looked skyward before taking a deep breath before continuing. "Now they are all gathered around together in the drawing room, much the same way it was when the Baroness was alive. It's quite remarkable!"
Frau Schmidt paused while she reflected happily on what she had witnessed downstairs.
"Well, Fraulein Maria, what did you say to him?"
Maria paused as images of that afternoon ran through her mind.
"I, um…well…" Maria didn't know exactly what to say. Should she be honest about what happened? Something in her heart told her it was best to keep the details between her and the Captain.
Looking down at her feet, she tentatively continued.
"Well, initially, he questioned me about our whereabouts today, and then he pushed me to explain where the play clothes had come from. He wasn't happy with me at all by that point, that much I could tell. However, I was equally irritated with him and with his behaviour! I am not proud of how I behaved, I must say, I let my temper get the better of me. But, Frau Schmidt! Those poor children! They were so excited to see that he had returned, and he crushed them like little bugs! I saw their happy faces fall when he blew that infernal whistle! Well, let's just say, I let him have it! I told him that they would all grow up and he would not even know them, and that he needed to stop and listen to common sense! As you can imagine, he didn't like that, either", she mused.
"OOOH, you did let him have it, didn't you?! You do know that there is only one other person who would have been brave enough to let the Captain have it like that…the late Baroness! She used to hold nothing back when the Captain irritated her." Frau Schmidt paused with a half-smile as her thoughts seemed to catch on a memory. "Well, enough of that. I trust he didn't entirely agree with you? But somehow you still managed to convince him? You realize the man is never convinced?" Frau Schmidt inquired.
"Oh Heavens, no!" Maria replied. "He fired me on the spot! Whatever transformation the Captain went through must have been a result of him hearing the children sing in the drawing room. I was dumbfounded when I came into the villa and spotted him…he had joined the children and he was singing. Oh, and what a beautiful voice he has, Frau Schmidt!".
Frau Schmidt smiled from ear-to-ear. "My dear, you have worked miracles, even if you don't appreciate what you have accomplished. You managed to get through to him. Finally, the old Captain seems to have returned! Now, we must chat about this further, but I was sent here to complete an important task...Where was I?…oh yes, the Captain has requested your presence in the drawing room right away! He wants to introduce you properly to the Baroness and to Herr Detweiller."
"Very well." Maria replied, feeling all at once very uncomfortable with her invitation. She took a deep breath and shuffled her papers into a neat pile. Leaving the school room, Maria followed behind Frau Schmidt, tiptoeing uncharacteristically down the stairs and into the drawing room. She paused awkwardly in the doorway before "Uncle Max" came up to her and took her hand, lifting it gently to his lips.
"Enchantée, Mademoiselle" he purred. "I am pleased to finally meet your acquaintance! I have heard so much about you from the old Captain, here". He side-eyed Georg but continued to look directly into Maria's eyes across the surface of her hand which he still held in front of his face. At that moment, Elsa studied the expression on Georg's face, looking back and forth between him and Max.
"Herr Detweiller, I presume! It is so lovely to meet you! I have also heard many wonderful things about you from the children", Maria smiled warmly. Uncle Max was as genuine as they came.
"Oh, please do away with formalities, Fraulein. Please call me Max! And, I do hope that the stories you were told were good stories? I mean, when have I ever done anything that was not entirely good and wonderful?" He gently released her hand and turned towards the Captain.
At this moment, the Captain laughed heartily. He gestured towards Maria and then towards the Baroness. "Fraulein, please, I'd like for you to properly meet Baroness Schraeder".
Baroness Schraeder stepped forward and enclosed Maria's right hand in both of hers, giving them a gentle squeeze. She smiled genuinely at Maria.
"I am happy to meet you, especially on land and not soaking wet, Fraulein Maria. The children were just talking about you. You certainly do have a fan club!" The Baroness dropped Maria's hand and Maria felt her cheeks burning, but as she turned to the children and saw all seven of them smiling from ear-to-ear, she quickly forgot about her earlier embarrassment.
Baroness Schraeder sat down on the settee and motioned for Maria to join her, patting the space beside her. Normally, Elsa Schraeder was not one to mingle with the help, but the men in the room seemed to be quite taken by this young nun, so she wanted to see for herself what all the fuss was about.
"The children tell me you used to be a Nun?" the Baroness continued.
"Well, actually, I still have plans to return to Nonnberg at the end of the summer. The Reverend Mother sent me here for the summer to assist the Captain and look after the children. I trust that he believed that the House of God was as good a place as any to find reliable help, isn't that right, Captain?" Maria turned to smile at the Captain and he had the audacity to wink at her.
"I find your vocation fascinating, Fraulein Maria. But who in their right mind would want to give up all that is delightful in this world to live inside a Dark Ages Nunnery? I trust most Nuns there are cloistered? Whoever do you talk to all day?" the Baroness continued.
Maria paused for a moment, but still nodded her head, all the while trying to decide what the right thing to say was. Fortunately, the Captain stepped in and saved her from her task.
"Come now, Elsa, surely even you must appreciate that Nonnberg is the longest operating Nunnery in the German-speaking world. Not even the House of Chanel in all its glory can come close to having such a rich history!" he chuckled.
"Indeed" interrupted Max. "And given the magic Fraulein Maria has worked with the children and their singing voices in less than two weeks, I anticipate there are many more women with hidden talents in that convent up on the Festungsberg!"
"Oh, but the wools you wear must be so scratchy, and it's all black. I have not worn black since my husband died. And the convent? It must be terribly damp all the time? Imagine what would become of my hair? No wonder yours is so short!"
Turning up her nose, Elsa quipped: "I could never be a Nun!"
The Captain laughed at her obvious statement but deftly steered the conversation away from Nonnberg as he sensed Elsa's curiosity was making the little Fraulein uncomfortable.
Soon, the adults and the children alike engaged in pleasant conversation for a good length of time that afternoon.
Maria immediately hit it off with Max. He regaled her with his stories, told her about his time on the HMS Zenta with the Captain as his captain, and Maria enjoyed hearing about his musical shenanigans with Herrs Strauss, Reinhardt, and Hofmannsthal. Max quizzed Maria about her own musical talents and education, suggesting more than once that she should consider entering the children in the Festspiele this year. The Captain cocked his head and squinted at Max whenever it was suggested, and Max laughed and then nimbly changed the subject.
Maria learned from their conversations that Baroness Schraeder was part of the family that ran the Hotel Sacher in Vienna and that her late husband was in the railway business with Max's father. Although there was nothing said about the Captain's late wife, it was still all so very interesting. It had been so long since Maria had had an adult conversation that was not about religion. She smiled inwardly as she realized Max would not last too long in the convent. He was too full of life and would be far too much for them to handle. She already knew that Baroness Schraeder would not even set foot in the building, she had too many preconceived notions about what it was like there.
Time flew and before Maria knew it, Frau Schmidt gave them all the one-hour warning before dinner was to be served. Elsa went to the guest quarters to "freshen up" and Max headed to the library to make a phone call or two. Apparently, he had some work to do to prepare for the festival this summer. Maria gathered up the children to take them upstairs to change for dinner. She shepherded them out of the room and into the foyer, leaving the Captain standing by the table that was home to his assortment of fine wines, cognacs, and other tonics.
Looking over her shoulder, she saw the Captain pawing at the crystal stopper of his decanter and staring aimlessly off into space. Putting the stopper in the bottle, he slowly made his way towards the window, hands stuffed into his jacket pockets. Maria gestured to Liesl to go ahead without her, and she turned back to the Captain, who was not aware of her continued presence.
"Captain?" she called. At first, he only looked at her with his eyes, but soon his entire face followed. Maria could not help but notice how sad he looked at that moment, his face full of regret. She knew she had to say something.
"Captain, please don't be so hard on yourself. I noticed this afternoon from time-to-time you would look forlorn, and you would raise your eyes to the heavens. You have that same look about you now. You must know that the past is in the past, and as you can see, the children are besides themselves at this recent turn of events. Remember, you opened your arms to them, and they ran to you! I understand that this is all so emotionally overwhelming, Sir, but it is a blessing from God. Take this opportunity as a 'tail wind' and let yourself move forward…please, Captain".
He turned to face Maria with a watery smile, picking up on her attempt to use naval terminology to get through to him. Correctly, too, he noted.
"Fraulein, you certainly have this uncanny ability to know what to say to me and when to say it even though we have not known each other for very long." He took a deep breath and then continued. "However, I think it will take me a right long time to forgive myself for the past four years".
"But, Captain" she murmured. "While you were away, well…I was able to explain some things to the children."
Georg's eyes widened and he ran his fingers along his chin as he tried to figure out what she was going to say next.
"You know…", Maria continued. "…about grief, and how adults deal with grief differently from children, and also from other adults. All along – even before I arrived - they understood you and accepted you, although they did not like how things were. The older children have never forgotten how things used to be. The younger children are a blank canvas. But, regardless, they are all ready to welcome you back with open arms. You saw that today, Sir."
Although he looked down at his feet, Maria sensed she was getting through to him. She paused and tried to think about what she should say next.
"No regrets, no shame, no pity..." she continued. "Please just accept this opportunity as a gift, not as another moment to punish yourself further. I trust you have done enough of that since your wife passed away."
He looked up at her with sad, pleading eyes that were forcing back tears.
Wincing at her frank honesty, she tried to back-pedal. "I'm sorry, Captain. I have said too much again, haven't I?".
The Captain walked over to her and stared intently into her eyes. He silently held out his right hand and with his eyes, implored her to take it. She tentatively lifted her hand, and seeing the heat in his eyes, his expression welcoming, she daintily placed it in his and he clasped his much larger fingers around it. They shook once, and then he stopped, his fingers still holding hers. His face, dead serious.
"Fraulein. Don't ever change. Thank you for being brave enough, strong enough, and dare I say, stubborn enough to not give up on my children. To not give up on me. We hardly know each other, and yet you seem to understand me. It is so very puzzling, but that is a matter for another day."
The Captain's thoughts seemed to drift to another place momentarily, but he quickly brought himself back to the present.
"I know things started off a bit rough for us. I want to take this opportunity to apologize to you again for my abhorrent behaviour. And not just for today, although that alone was bad enough! I realize that I was far from gentlemanly the day you arrived."
The Captain seemed to be struggling with what he wanted to say. Maria just smiled and patiently waited, letting him vault over his demons.
"And…well, um….since you will be staying with us for the foreseeable future, I must beg your assistance…to help me to reconnect with the children. I want us to start over again, you know, to work as partners. For a retired sea captain, I must regretfully admit that I lack confidence when it comes to my children. But, I know that Agathe…my wife…would be so pleased to see me making a fresh start. She would be so pleased to know you have come to help us all make a new start". He placed his other hand over both of theirs and smiled, although it didn't quite reach his eyes.
Maria felt the warmth spread up her arm through her chest. She squeezed his hand in return and smiled widely. As the Captain noted the sparkle in her eyes, his became more genuine.
"I would be honoured, Captain."
"Thank you again, Fraulein."
He paused, squeezed her hands, and then gently let them go. Stepping backwards slightly, he tugged his right ear. "Well, then. I guess I should let you go and get ready for dinner. Do try to be on time tonight, will you, Fraulein!"
Maria nodded and smiled. Pausing as she found herself lost in his eyes for a mad moment, she hesitantly turned away from him and implored her feet to move. Leaving him to his thoughts, she made her way out of the room and headed upstairs to help the children.
On the landing, she paused and turned to take in the expanse of the foyer, remembering how overwhelming it felt the day she arrived. Today, however, it felt much more homey, more comforting. It had changed even since this morning. It felt like the storm had passed, and brighter, calmer days were ahead.
ooOoo
Dinnertime the evening of "day-of-the-argument" was a lovely affair. Everyone was gathered around the table in the dining room, and as she surveyed the happy faces, Maria was struck with the realization that the mood tonight was so dissimilar to her first night here almost 2 weeks ago. The last 10 days while the Captain was absent were quite lively as the children relished in the freedom to chat around the table and discuss all the things they had been doing during the day. Tonight, however, was truly like a circus. There were so many conversations going on at once! The old Captain surely would have had a bird, but tonight he seemed to be relishing the new world order. He sat at the end of the table with a smile as he interacted with the children and his guests. Gone was the sad face he had worn earlier that afternoon.
Frau Schmidt had added a large extension in the table and two additional chairs were placed around it. Elsa was seated to the Captain's left, and Max was beside her. Maria maintained her place opposite the Captain, despite her earlier insistence that Frau Schmidt allow her to eat in the kitchen and leave the Captain to enjoy his family and his guests without her.
"The Captain would not hear of it, Fraulein!" Frau Schmidt chortled. "The governess has always assumed the place of head lady since the Baroness died."
"But, Frau Schmidt," Maria retorted, "There is a Baroness tonight, and I am just the governess! Baroness Schraeder is here, and surely..."
Frau Schmidt reached across the small space between them and placed her index finger on Maria's lip, imploring her to be silent on the issue. With a big smile on her face, she continued.
"Fraulein Maria, the Captain spoke to me this afternoon about the dinner table arrangements, and he insisted that you maintain your usual place. Besides, Max and the Baroness do like to chat about unsavory things that are not suitable for the children's ears. It is best that they stay together and under the Captain's watch, don't you think?" She answered with a wink.
And so, Maria sat at her usual place, feeling slightly uncomfortable with the whole arrangement. Marta had been shifted to sit on her left between Gretl and Birgitta, leaving only Louisa and Friederich to Maria's right. The children were in their element, their happy faces a reflection of the events that had transpired that day. Yet, Maria wasn't sure if it was the seating plan at the dinner table that unnerved her, or if it was the sinking realization of everything that had transpired that day.
Maria grimaced inwardly as she took a sip from her water. She peered over the top of her glass at the Captain who was engaged in a conversation with Liesl. His whole face looked relaxed. A far cry from the expression he wore earlier that afternoon on the landing.
What had started as a lovely day with the children came crashing down in flames with the Captain's return. If only they had been home from their outing earlier, none of the insanity of that afternoon would have happened. Yet, would things be the way they are right now if the "Argument" had not taken place?
The Argument: Maria could not understand what had come over her, such fierce protectiveness of the children seemed to light a fire in her belly, and she raged outwardly at the Captain's parental missteps. His interrogation of her did not help. She had had quite enough with his insufferable nature.
She remembered sitting in the bow of the dory when the children began waving and rising excitedly. Not able to see where she was going, she was about to remind them to all sit down and not rock the boat, but with a quick turn of her head to see what all the commotion was, she quickly understood. Overcome with emotion that she still could not explain, she joined the children in a standing position, and they all waved madly at the Captain. He had finally returned! Inside, she felt like she was ready to be reunited with the old Captain. The one who existed before his wife died.
Well, the next thing Maria knew, they all went head-over-heels into the lake! She should have been terribly embarrassed for making such a miserable first impression with Uncle Max and the Baroness, but she had been overcome with such a profound sense of delight none of that mattered. Hours later she could still feel the joy of that moment when he arrived and the subsequent boating mishap. It was so inconceivable to think that the esteemed sons and daughters of a decorated naval captain had managed to swamp a rowboat in the Leopoldskroner! Despite the Captain's initial anger with her over the situation, she understood that she would never, ever trade that moment they went into the drink for anything in the world!
Although, indeed, he had been very angry that afternoon.
Standing on the landing, Maria quickly learned that the Captain was still the insufferable boor that she had met on her first day at the villa - not the one she had come to know intimately through his journals and photographs while he was away. With his God-forsaken whistle and stern commands, he expertly played the role of Captain to seven unruly naval cadets, apparently forgetting that these were his children. The Von Trapp children immediately scrambled to their proper positions, their laughter from only a few moments earlier still filtering through the low branches of the trees. Their soaked clothing on display as an embarrassing reminder of their inability to follow simple instructions.
Maria could not believe this man and his stubbornness, and she had pretty much had it with his "parenting" methods! For ten days, she and the children had lived their best lives and now he was here again to rain on their parade. A normal father upon his return would shower his children with love and affection. She was so angry for these children and their circumstances. She felt that she had led them all into a false sense of security that it was safe to just be themselves.
But what cut Maria deepest at that moment was her realization that these children, who still had one parent living, were no better off than she was: they were all orphans. The water that soaked her hair and clothing began to steam as her spirit and desire to protect the children boiled within her.
How dare he try to humiliate her and the children in front of this well-dressed Baroness woman! It was obvious this woman would not dare pick up a ball for fear of chipping her fingernail! Was he seriously considering marriage to a woman who did not appear to have a motherly bone in her body? If she was his wife, the children would effectively have no parents! Maria was so angry and personally dismayed at the circumstances of the children who had loved her unconditionally, that she could not bear to speak to the Captain now.
She headed into the villa to change with the children when he stopped her. "You will stay here, please!".
At least he had the wherewithal to say "please".
Knowing how far-gone Maria was with her anger, her initial reaction was to plead with the Captain to let her go and change, and then they could have a grown-up conversation later about what had happened. She could cool her temper and then come up with a suitable apology, but when he insisted that she stay behind and face his wrath now, she realized she was ready to give him the fight he seemed to be interested in picking. If he wanted a fight, by Jove! she was ready to give him one! Although she had her thunderbolts at the ready, she said a little prayer asking for God's strength to help her remain calm, to keep her anger from boiling over...and hopefully she could use this opportunity to talk some sense into this man.
Very soon into their discussion, she could tell he was baiting her into a lie, and so she bravely admitted to tree climbing. Yes - they climbed trees! So what?
"Do you know what else Reverend Captain?" she thought to herself. "We also rode bikes, rowed boats, ran through the hills, sang songs, played in the lake, and galivanted through town!"
The Captain broke her thoughts as he lifted Louisa's kerchief in the air, displaying it to the world like one would hold a smelly sock.
"And where, may I ask, did they get these...?"
"Play clothes!" she said outwardly, while her internal voice followed her simple statement with "...you toadying ignoramus! They are play clothes, typically worn by children, and yes, it was your stubbornness that led to the fabric selection".
"Oh, is that what you call them?"
Oooooh! This man was really too much. He was insufferable and in serious need of an injection of common sense into that stupid head of his!
"Do you mean to tell me that my children have been roaming about Salzburg dressed up in nothing but some OLD DRAPES?"
"They have uniforms!"
"I will not forgive you for that!...I haven't heard them complain yet"
Oooooh!
"I don't want to you discuss my children in this manner"
"I said I don't want to hear anything more from you about my children!"
Ooooooooh! Maria could feel the steam coming out of her ears. Maria loved the children like her own flesh and blood, and she felt the need to protect them fiercely. It was obvious there was no changing this man's mind with subtle barbs or inuendo. The more he pushed her, the faster Maria's pride turned to anger, and she let him have it. By this point, she understood there was no turning back. She had been presented with the best possible opportunity and she had to try to get through to him.
And so, she pushed on, not caring that he didn't want to listen. He just HAD to hear what she wanted to say:
"I know you don't, but you've got to!" she barked.
What surprised Maria at that moment was that the Captain stopped. Dead. His face the portrait of vulnerability for a fleeting moment. His eyes appeared to be vacant for a brief instant. She knew it! It was working! Perhaps if she listed off all the ways that she had come to know and understand the children, she could remind him that he still had a chance to be their father again. That he could come back to his family, and everything could be close to what it once was.
As Maria reminded him who is children were, the Captain paced the terrace like a caged animal. His agitation so pronounced. He lost all ability to form coherent sentences, leading him to resort to "don't you dares" and "that will dos". Maria, unphased, pushed on…
"Oh yes you are, Captain...Fraulein!"
For a fleeting instant, Maria thought he was going to let her continue, purposefully choosing to turn down the fire before carrying on. But instead, she was done for. Fired. Finished. Sent back to the Abbey without the ability to just "be" with those beautiful children.
And at what cost? She had not managed to get through to him, regardless of the passion in her words, the fire in her belly, and the love in her heart.
Maria wished the Earth would open up and swallow her whole. It would be better than the future that she briefly had time to contemplate. But at that moment, God worked one of his many miracles: the children started singing.
"What's that?" he barked.
"It's singing!" you halfwit!
"Yes, I realize it's singing, but who is singing?"
Resigned, she responded: "the children..."
All at once the Captain got a dreamy, far-away look in his eye, as though he had been side-swiped by a memory. He paused and seemed to reflect on something before marching across the terrace and up the stairs before flinging the door open, the villa quickly swallowing his agitated form.
There she stood. Wet and cold. As the adrenaline began to ease from her restless state, she felt nothing. Vacant. Somehow, the feeling was strangely like the day her mother died...and then when her father followed her.
Empty, cold, lonely...desiccated.
Shouldn't she be happy to be returning to the Abbey? The day the Reverend Mother sent her here, she had been terribly disappointed that she could not commence her Novitiate. Now, almost two weeks later, she was terribly disappointed to learn that her time with the Von Trapp children had ended so abruptly.
As she dejectedly made her way up the terrace stairs, she was struck by the realization that the singing had not stopped! The children were singing like angels, their best performance to-date! But there was also a voice she didn't recognize. Had Uncle Max joined in? It wasn't until she had come around the edge of the door frame that she saw it. Had she not seen it with her own eyes in that beautiful moment, she could not believe it. The Captain was singing with the children.
She stood transfixed. His voice wrapped around her like caramel and the harmonies provided by the children caused goosebumps to form on her arms.
"...and I'll sing once more..."
The children's faces displayed outwardly what she was feeling. They were shocked and surprised by this turn of events. Brigitta was studying the Captain's face intently while the others stood with their mouths agape. How Maria wished she could see more than the Captain's back and shoulders at that moment. A huge smile soon graced Brigitta's face and she rushed into his arms, the other children following close behind. Maria's heart overflowed! By the Grace of God, she had managed to work miracles that day!
Forgetting where she was for a moment, Gretl's little face brought her back to the present. "Oh yes!" she thought to herself. They did have other things planned for the Baroness' arrival, but when they literally went ass-over-teakettle into the lake, she had forgotten. Even little Gretl knew that they desperately had to make up for poor first impressions. Maria waved her towards the Baroness with a bouquet of Edelweiss: white and noble, a symbol of patriotism, sacrifice and devotion. Difficult to find, and once found, even more difficult to harvest. Mountain men have been picking Edelweiss for their true loves for generations, some even falling to their deaths in the process.
Maria remembered their beautiful day in the mountains yesterday when they had picked those Edelweiss, just in case...
"You never told me how enchanting your children are".
All at once, Maria was broken from her thoughts as the Baroness spoke. She seemed genuinely impressed by the children. What she was not expecting was the glance the Captain instinctively threw her way, somehow understanding she would be there.
Maria felt like an imposter at that moment. Why was she still here, she was supposed to be packing her things? Instead, she was trapped here in the doorway, her feet heavy as lead? At least she stayed long enough to know that her sacrifice for the children was not in vain. They would no longer need a Governess. Perhaps, just maybe, the old Captain...their father...was back to stay?
She darted towards the stairs and had almost made it to the second floor when the Captain called out to her from below.
"Fraulein!" he barked, but a bit more gentle than usual. Maria was in for it; he was going to reprimand her for still being here. She braced for the worst.
Instead: "I...behaved badly. I apologize."
Not really believing what she had just heard, Maria let out a breath she didn't know she was holding. She wasn't sure what to say, she was so relieved that he didn't appear to be angry with her. Instead, she mumbled something about being outspoken, she gripped the railing with her fingertips of her left hand, her right hand pulled tightly into a fist.
"You were right. I don't know my children". He took a step closer...and then another...
"You brought music back into the house...I'd forgotten."
Maria's heart was in her throat as she fought back the tide of the salty tears that were threatening to fall. She had to get to her room before she crumbled, so she turned and continued to make her way up the stairs.
"Fraulein!"
Maria stopped in her tracks. He had never said her name like that before. It was gentle. Usually, it was spoken with some air of annoyance or irritation. Images of her first day in the villa in this very foyer passed before her eyes. Earlier, during their argument, he had angrily cursed her name.
As she looked down at the Captain, he walked even closer. She tried to read the expression on his face, but it was indecipherable.
"I want you to stay! I, ah, ask you to stay."
The Captain looked up from his position now almost immediately below her, almost in a state of suspended animation while he waited to see if Maria would accept his apology. His devastating blue eyes burned into her soul, willing her to accept, to give him another chance.
Of course! she would stay. He wanted her help, he wanted to do better! She could help him!
"You have already, more than you know."
He looked like he wanted to say something more, but the Captain seemed to bite his tongue and turned his head. His body soon followed. Maria stood in shock at the top of the stairs, processing all that had just transpired. Not even two minutes ago she was headed back to the Abbey, and now he had asked her to stay.
Maria had a sense that the Captain rarely asked for anything. As a sea captain, he normally issued an order and it was followed. But he had asked. And the tone of his voice…the blue of his eyes, it made her tingle from head-to-toe. In some strange way, she sensed she could see the future in his eyes, but she quickly shook off those stray thoughts and excitedly clapped her hands. As she ran off to change into something dry, she realized she had been given a beautiful gift that day!
"Fraulein Maria...!"
Maria was catapulted back into the dining room as Gretl pulled on her sleeve. She smiled down at her cherubim face and helped her to cut her meat into smaller pieces. She realized the chatter around the table was still lively and felt a sense of relief that no one had noticed that she had been completely absent from the room, so many thoughts whirling about in her head. As she tended to Gretl, she could sense the intensity of the Captain's eyes from the other end of the table. Foolishly, she looked up to find her own eyes locked with his. She gave him a small smile and bashfully returned to her dinner.
After regaining her composure, Maria did a decent job at staying focused on the conversations around the dinner table. She heard Max telling Liesl about his latest visit to Boheimkirchen and his plans for the Festspiele this year. Frequently, Maria could feel his eyes on her, but she did not dare look up. The odd time when she had convinced herself that she had to be imagining the whole thing, she would look up and catch the Captain watching her intently. Sometimes he would give her a watery smile. Other times he would turn away and pretend he wasn't looking in the first place.
The dinner plates were cleared, and dessert was served. Chocolate mousse. Not something they had ever eaten in the villa since she arrived. Mind you, Josephine probably prepared it especialyl for the Baroness and Max's arrival. Maria studied it with some intensity, never having had the privilege of eating it before.
Louisa laughed and pushed Maria's hand towards her spoon.
"Fraulein Maria! Eat it! It won't bite you!" she giggled.
"I know, love", she replied, "but I have just never had this before. It's so..."
"Decadent?" Max chortled.
Maria felt her cheeks glow as she looked up and the entire table was watching her.
"What Fraulein?" the Captain laughed. "They don't serve mousse au chocolat in the Abbey?"
"No, Captain. It's honestly the first time I have ever been blessed with such a delicacy. I have seen pictures, heard stories, read books about French cooking, but never before..."
At that moment, Baroness Schraeder giggled. "If you've never had mousse au chocolat, you've obviously never been to France!"
It was obviously so common in her world, she could not imagine someone not encountering a mousse before. Maria shook her head to indicate that no, she had not been to France. Frankly, she had not been anywhere outside of Austria!
Gretl looked up at Maria and encouraged her just to "dive in", and as Maria was lifting the spoon to her lips, Gretl continued: "Isn't that what you said to me the other day when we went swimming in the lake?".
Maria looked up at the Captain and she swallowed awkwardly. He squinted maniacally at her from his position at the other end of the table before bursting into laughter. She was not going to be incinerated after all! At least not by his temper. However, the way he looked at her was very unnerving.
ooOoo
Everything was quiet in the Von Trapp Villa. The children, although terribly chatty at bedtime, all promptly crashed, the excitement of that day obviously wearing them down. Maria stopped in to see Liesl before heading to bed, and she gently rapped on the door and peeked in when Liesl called out to her.
Liesl was sitting in her dressing gown at her small writing desk by the window, her diary in her hand. She stuck her pencil in between the pages where she was writing and closed the book. Rising quickly from her chair, she came towards Maria, and with great force, wrapped her in a huge hug.
"Oh, Fraulein Maria! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" she cooed.
Maria stood back a little and placed her hands on Liesl's upper arms.
"Liesl, I said this before, but it wasn't me...it was you. Your brothers and sisters made this happen."
"Oh no!" Liesl objected. "You got through to Father in ways no one has. Well, not since Mother was alive. I know you said it was our singing, but as Gromi used to say, 'you can't get water from the well, without first priming the pump'! Whatever you said to Father on the landing made him receptive. You set him up so that he was ready to accept us again!"
Liesl smiled widely, her eyes brimming with unshed tears.
Maria didn't know what to say. At this point, she knew Liesl was convinced she had a role to play in what had transpired that day. She gave her a brief run-down of all the things that were exchanged on the landing, and Liesl began to cry happy tears.
"Fraulein Maria, I know you won't take credit for any of this, but my brothers and sisters and I, we know it was you. There have been eleven governesses before you. A good number of them were not impressed with his extended absences. They could not change him. I have even heard Frau Schmidt over the years having it out with Father. Nothing worked until today. And now we have our Father back, thanks to you!" Liesl closed her eyes and bowed her head before continuing. "Except I must admit, I am scared it won't last".
"Liesl", Maria replied. "I have a feeling deep down in my soul that this is your Father. Your REAL Father. He is relieved to be back, this much I know. He told me so himself after you all scattered to get ready for dinner this evening. He is not feeling confident, but he has asked for my help. I think because I came to know and understand you all so well in so little time, he sees me as a bridge between his past…how he has treated you since your mother died…and the future."
"He wants it to work, Liesl, I can tell. You must be confident and encourage him, but do not be disillusioned if he seems to take two steps forward and one step back. It will take him some time. The guilt is a huge factor for him right now. That will keep him cautious." Maria wrapped Liesl into an embrace before continuing.
"I think your Father is afraid that you will not accept him now, and I sense he would not be able to bear that. Encourage your brothers and sisters to continue to love him unconditionally, to support him, to smile, and just be yourselves. Give him the love and the space he needs when he needs it, and the rest will follow with time. I am sure of it."
As Maria walked down the hall towards her room to turn in for the night, she looked down into the foyer. To the place where the Captain had stood only a few hours before. If she closed her eyes, all she could see and feel was the heat in his blue eyes as he apologized and asked her to stay. While she didn't know the Captain well apart from the stories the children told her and the words she read in the library, she understood that Captain Von Trapp rarely apologized to anyone. Something special had been forged between them that afternoon. A partnership of sorts. Perhaps they could even learn to be friendly-like.
Just like her first night in the villa, Maria understood it was her job to help prepare the children for a new mother, but now she realized that her task extended to helping the Captain to reconnect with his children. It had been God's will, and with that thought, she smiled, crossed herself, and then continued to her room.