"Hello and welcome to the inaugural monthly seminar, 'How Do I Survive Nora Valkyrie and Jaune Arc?'" Pyrrha greeted the packed auditorium.

The place was filled to the brim—not just with Beacon students but also a sizeable contingent from the Vale Police Department. They'd learned the hard way that this seminar wasn't just for students—it was a matter of public safety.

"Rule #1," Pyrrha said, projecting her voice over the chatter, "if you see Jaune and Nora alone, immediately put a safe distance of at least 500m between yourself and them. Then drop a pin in the group chat so everyone knows where the danger zone is. Ren and I will step in to defuse the situation."

One policeman in the back let out a chuckle. "Seriously? How much trouble can those two cause just by being alone?"

A swift smack to the head from the Chief of Police silenced him. "You obviously haven't seen the video of the cafeteria incident," the chief grumbled, glaring at the rookie.

Ren took over, nodding in thanks to the chief. "Thank you, Chief. Now, Rule #2: Do NOT, under any circumstances, make a pun involving explosions or say anything remotely related to blowing stuff up. They will take it literally. We've already compiled a document in the group chat listing phrases to avoid—it's about 20 pages long."

FLASHBACK
Yang was having one of those days. Her hair was a mess and the looming specter of her periods was viciously stabbing her uterus. Because of it she barely slept but still somehow overslept enough to miss breakfast and leave her with a growling stomach.
To top it off, she had just suffered through back-to-back classes with Oobleck. It was a recipe for one very cranky blonde brawler.

Naturally, Jaune picked that exact moment to ask her a stupid question. Yang glared at him, her eyes promising pain.

"Blow me!" she snapped, hoping he'd get the hint and leave her alone.

Jaune's response was suspiciously chipper. "Okay !"

He dropped something at her feet, and the next thing she knew, she was zooming down the corridor like a rocket-powered ragdoll. By the time she landed, she had a pretty good idea why Glinda Goodwitch had a full-time staff of repairmen on speed dial.
END FLASHBACK

Pyrrha cleared her throat, drawing everyone's attention back to her. "Rule #3 : Never, ever leave Ruby Rose alone with them. She's a skilled engineer and a total weapon maniac. Trust me, the last thing we want is to find out what happens would happen if they could use sophisticated weapons crafted upon their specifics."

"What do you mean by 'sophisticated weapon crafted upon their specifics'?" asked a young officer in the front row, furiously taking notes.

Pyrrha sighed. "Let's just say that Ruby's idea of 'sophisticated' usually involves anything with extra firepower. We don't need someone to enable these two anymore. Also, quick reminder, she is the one who showed them how to modify grenades and create detonators and other explosives. Thank you for that, Ruby." Pyrrha added, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

Ruby, who was sitting in the audience, sank lower in her seat under the collective glares. "I just thought it was cooler than Jaune's pipe bombs," she mumbled.

Ren took over to keep Pyrrha from going into a rant.

"Rule #4: Don't let them learn anything. Especially not science or Dust-related topics. If there's a way to use it for destruction, they'll find it."

FLASHBACK
"And that is how Wind Dust can extinguish a fire by sucking out the air of a closed environnement. Every extinctor are now equip with this system. You just need to be carefull with release since it is under high pressure." Weiss finished a long rant following a simple question from Ruby.

Right on cue, a massive explosion echoed from across the school. The entire room jumped except for Ren and Pyrrha, who simply sighed in unison.

"Have you per chance told any of this to Jaune and Nora ?" Ren asked, his expression tired.

"Of course! They asked, and I thought it was good for them to learn basic fire safety," Weiss replied, clearly not seeing the problem.

"So, you did tell Jaune and Nora how Wind Dust can be use to pressurize air and then released it volently ?" Ren emphasized.

"That's what I... Oh" Weiss gasped at the sudden realization.

Pyrrha groaned and banged her head on the table. "I'm going to write a rule book with things you should never, ever tell them. 'Carefully' and 'release' would be the first words on the list. You go, Ren. I've already dealt with last night experiment."
END FLASHBACK

Ren concluded "This is it for now. We will keep you appraised of any new rules or other usefull informations. We will now take questions."

Hello everyone,

I'm truly grateful for the positive response to the first chapter. It exceeded my expectations, and knowing that so many of you enjoyed it has been a fantastic motivation to keep writing. At this point, I'm not planning to turn this into a full-length story. The comedy is driven by standalone scenes, so I'll be sticking with a one-scene-per-chapter format to maintain that lighthearted feel.

I've got another chapter lined up and several other ideas in progress. If you have any suggestions or scenes you'd like to see, feel free to send me a message. I'm always open to new ideas.

Thank you again for your support, and I hope you have a wonderful day.