Thanks for reading! Especially I'd like to thank PDCR203 for reminding me that Muldoon didn't die in the book (of course, Hammond did!)
C.O.B., thank you for waiting months for the next chapter. A lot of life stuff was going on, and this isn't my only project. It got rushed because I thought I lost the audience and wasn't feeling it (just wanted it over with). I've recently decided to change things around to improve it. Will take more time on it instead of just hacking at the script (that's never fun or entertaining).
N. , where'd you go? Your insightful comments really helped.
Joeyjumper94, thanks for the "Chopped" title suggestion.
Thanks to the others who kept reading: Trekker77, Undeadnightfury, Keepingupdisappearances, Radiantlife2, Alrondendil, and others.
Let's get back to the story...
[0000]
Aw, c'mon. That was a bummer. We can't have Cassie's father dying now, can we? Sure, she might grow up to be some badass dinosaur fighter if that happened, but no one wants to hear a sad dinosaur story. Especially when I never tangled with the guy, or got to use my ninja powers to save the day. Let me tell you what really happened...
Okay, so we're back at the Visitor Center, right? Tim's still weak because he just got jolted on the fence. Grant's got the door open, waving everyone in.
Pop! Went a rifle, just a few yards away from us.
A bunch of swearing and yelling followed.
"Dad?" Cassie's eyes got big and watery, already fearing the worst.
Grant put a hand on her shoulder, his fearful facial expression saying that nothing could be done. "C'mon, let's get inside."
"Daddy!"
Grant stooped down, locking eyes with her. "Cassie, I know you're worried about your father, but..." While certain Mr. Muldoon was dead, he deliberately tried to avoid implying it. "I'm certain that he'd want you safe."
Cassie made sounds like she intended to cry.
Casting me a sideways glance, he gave her hand a reassuring squeeze. "Tell you what: Let's send your friend Albert to go...see what can be done while we get to someplace safe, shall we?"
The girl approached the rear entrance to the building and looked at me expectantly.
I swallowed hard. I'm just a disposable pet to them, I thought.
Though resentful of not being valued as highly as a human being, I appreciated the seeming respect, the confidence the man put in me following through with the task. Also, it meant freedom.
Plus, how could I break that little girl's heart?
I answered with a crisp salute. "Ma'am, I'll do my very best to save him!"
Cassie brightened a little, amused by my claws and little arms performing the gesture. "Hurry."
I broke into a sprint, genuflecting as I ran. "Padre, Hijo, Spiritu Santu."
Not a genius move, placing a raptor paddock right next to a place where the visitors stay. Would have been a shorter story if they hadn't. I guess a lot of stories about the place would be shorter if they'd done things differently...like, for example, paying more attention to human resources.
At any rate, easy-peasy to locate the paddock. I recognized it by the scent, the shredded hammock things they used to lower cows into the enclosure (the other raptors never gave me a bite), obviously the signs reading `Raptor Paddock'...and now, since we had the electricity back on, the voice of James Earl Jones telling me scientific facts about...myself.
The palm trees, the leafy foliage, it added atmosphere, but made it easy for my predatory kin to set up an ambush. I glanced nervously at the fenced-in pit they kept the other raptors in, sniffing for the inevitable lurking `scout.'
There! Up ahead, behind a fern bush, I sighted a speckly flanked raptor: Felicity Lemon.
Yeah. Velociraptors don't speak English, so I picked something from Hammond's book collection. You said her real, proper name with one growl, a puff out your nostril, a gurgle and a slight whimper. Her splotchy chested sister, `Biddie Marple', had a similar raptor name, but with a purr instead of a gurgle and the whimper, slightly louder, has a questioning sound at the end. All raptors have noisy non-English names like that.
None of them liked me, so mine ranged from poop sounds to a shuddering sound worthy of Lurch from The Addams Family.
Felicity sighted me. "Eeeew." Okay, it's more like "Eeeeugh," but it sounds really similar, and it's got the same meaning.
Yes, also my name. Flashing a pleasant, gap-toothed smile, I growled, puffed my nostril, gurgled and whimpered.
Shaking her head in disgust, the female scampered away with a shout of "Eeeew!"
A rifle sounded, deafening in its closeness. "Back!" someone shouted.
Real bullets. Not darts, hence the pop-pop noise I'd heard earlier. The other raptors backed away.
I whirled around, flinching when I recognized the owner of the voice: The man in the slouch hat!
The other raptors surrounded him, snarling, growling, preparing to slice open his stomach and feast on human meat: Biddy, the streaky tailed Hastings, Mickey (she's got a Mickey Mouse shaped birthmark between her eyes), Zorro (mask shaped birthmark around the face), Clouseau (star shaped horse marking on her forehead) and the rattlesnake patterned Moriarty.
Face dripping with perspiration, Muldoon loaded shells into his rifle.
Not safe, having so many raptors surrounding one man. I quickly pushed in between the others, ignoring the resentful snorts and insulting noises.
My presence did have the added benefit of providing a distraction, but Cassie's dad didn't get it. Instead, his eyes bulged, and the muzzle of his rifle swung my way.
I raised my hands in surrender. "Whoa! Hey! Cassie sent me!"
The man's grip on the weapon faltered. "Cassie? She's okay?"
He did a double take. "You can talk?"
"Yeah. Human brain cells. Let's chat about it later, okay?"
"What about Cassie?"
"She's fine!"
I noticed something he'd neglected to: Right behind him, the streak tailed raptor had snuck up, tensing in that tell-tale `I'm going to make human sushi' pose. "Hey! Look out!"
Cassie's dad turned a little too slowly. I knew he wouldn't have a chance if I didn't move fast.
Although he still aimed a gun at me, I rushed him like a football linebacker.
Muldoon overreacted, firing a slug into my right shoulder, but I managed to get him on the ground just as Hastings launched herself into the air, slashing claw extended.
"I'm going to pretend that shot was a mistake because you didn't know I was trying to save your friggin' life," I growled in the man's face.
He still looked white as a sheet. "S-sorry...Do you mind getting up, mate? You're a touch heavy."
"Um, about that...Once I get up, we need to get you under some cover, and fast."
Muldoon swallowed, eyes darting wildly around. "Your...mates tore a hole through the paddock fencing. Now that power's back on, I think I'd be a touch safer in there for a few minutes. I got keys to the access tunnel."
I peered at the fence. Indeed, I spotted a gap in the fence, sparking wires dangling uselessly over the hole. Only..."You sure you can make it over there without them cutting you open?"
"What bloody choice do I have? Your stubby little arms can't throw me over there..."
"How come you got an Australian accent and Cassie doesn't?"
The other raptors closed in. I doubted they'd think twice about killing me.
"Let's chat about that later, mate."
I let out a low growl. "I'll buy you some time." I grabbed his rifle from the ground. "Hope you don't mind if I borrow this."
The others made noises to each other, arguing whether it were right to disembowel another raptor, especially since they didn't intend to eat my `filthy poop flesh'.
I jumped up with the rifle at the same time Clouseau flew at me with her deadly foot claw. Although my shoulder still hurt, I swung the weapon around my head like a bolo. The other raptors, being in such close proximity, received painful cracks across the skull and/or muzzle, Clouseau receiving the heaviest part of the strike, due to lunging straight into me. They all staggered back, moaning and snarling.
"Clever girl," Muldoon muttered.
"Go!" I shouted.
He groaned and stood up, drawing a hunting knife from his belt. "Cassie's safe?"
"Yes sir. She's worried about daddy, so daddy better get his butt moving!"
"Keep her safe." He tossed me a pouch of bullets and turned to face the fence.
"Don't worry, I love her too."
Muldoon actually smiled at me. I thought I'd cry. "Sorry I tried to shoot you."
With that, he rushed to the fence.
Not the most spectacular plan. The man stowed the knife and climbed up a concrete post, which was fine, then ran partway up an electrified girder, which, with his rubber soled boots, also turned out mostly fine, albeit with a little smoking melted rubber.
His Superman jump, however...
Muldoon cleared a couple power lines, but not the others. The wires sparked as his legs hit them.
The jolt shot him up in the air, the rest of his body flopping through the opening in the wires...head first. Okay, so he already jumped headfirst, but this made it awkwardly so.
His body did a somersault into the canopy of a palm tree, thudding against something beneath that I couldn't see, on account of all the leaves, then two or three more times below that.
The other dinosaurs closed in, eying the fence, eying me, Moriarty saying things in raptor speak like `Streak Tail, you and Mask Face kill Poo-Poo Raptor. I'll go down in cage and get Hunter Man.'
Hastings and Zorro argued with her, Hastings saying, `We just left that cage. If we go back down, we won't be able to get back out because of all the sparky things.'
`It didn't stop us before. Do as I say.'
Zorro, on the other claw, argued thusly: `Why should you get to go down there and hog all the delicious meat?'
`I'll bring some of it back!'
`No you won't! You'll be trapped down there and have all the delicious human meat!'
As this conversation took place, I leaned over the side of the paddock, yelling to `Human Meat.' "Hey! Mr. Muldoon! Are you okay?"
"No!" a faint voice answered. "I...think I broke my leg!"
"Can you get to safety before more things get broken?"
"I'll try!"
Mickey and Clouseau, having had enough of my heroics, came charging at me with her teeth and claws bared.
Wincing at the pain from the bullet in my shoulder, I reacted by making forceful left-right paddling motions with the rifle into their heads. The weapon fired as I did this, making the others retreat in horror.
No raptors died, but I conked out Clouseau with the stock, and Mickey with the barrel.
Biddy, growling, lowered herself into a pouncing stance. Not sure if she intended to kill me, or jump through the fence, but I couldn't let it happen.
I prepared the gun, again like Donatello from the Ninja Turtles, because I didn't like the idea of shooting down other raptors in cold blood...Well, you know what I mean.
Unfortunately, when I swung at her, she struck me first, on my bad arm. I winced and dropped the weapon. This time it clicked empty.
No time to get bullets. Biddy snarled at me as she held me down, making noises to the effect of `And to think I used to like you.'
Her head lifted, showing that she really had her sights set on Mr. Muldoon.
She jumped off me, rushing to the fence.
Before she could get further, I hopped on her back.
As I mentioned before, kinda kinky, riding on another dinosaur's back, especially when it's someone of your own kind.
Biddy made a kind of growly noise I've never heard her make before, implying `You did not just do that!'
It might have been my hormones talking, but I answered with my own raptor sounds. `Is it really that bad?'
Practically biting off my head, she rolled me on my back.
An agonized yell came from the raptor paddock: "Albert! I'm safe! Go help Cassie!"
"Sure!" I grunted. "No problem!"
The loud clank that followed indicated the man had figured something out down there.
I grabbed Biddy's body and pulled down. The moment I got up, she shoved me to the ground again.
The next thing I knew, we were tumbling down a staircase.
We hit the bottom stair, rolled across pavement, growling and flopping like a dog with an inner ear disorder, or a very unusual log. The pavement terminated at the slope of a well manicured hillside.
We wrestled, clawing and biting at each other as we rolled and tumbled. She shrieked, snapping at me.
I rolled Biddy on her back. She growled and hissed in protest.
All of a sudden, I discovered my body possessed certain...male features. It seemed Grant had been at least partially correct about the African frogs.
It seemed the female also noticed this, for she discovered herself to be very female. "Squee!"
Well! What was I to say to that? "Why yes, I find you attractive too!"
"Awrourar," the female answered.
"I'm glad you didn't kill him. I would have been very upset."
Biddy licked my bullet wound (amazing tongue on that girl-the bullet popped right out) and the other wounds made by Proceratosauruses.
"Yeah, met some nasty dinosaurs. I think they're just surface cuts. I bled a little, but—"
She tenderly gnawed my mouth with her mouth, kind of like what dogs do instead of kissing.
"I'm sorry, I have to go," I told her in English. "My friends need me."
"Squee?" Biddy asked.
"Talk to you later," I told the female in raptor noises.
She responded with an "I love you" noise.
I rushed around to the front entrance. Since I'm not a person, a little awkward for me to open the big double doors.
Unlike that tunnel we came through, these doors opened outward. I had to grab the handle with my teeth and push with my feet, sorta wiggling my tail and butt through the crack.
A massive T-Rex skeleton greeted me when I entered the building. To a dinosaur, it's kind of like displaying the skeleton of Goliath from the Bible. I mean, you could, but where's the skin and clothing? I shivered.
Above the skeleton hung a banner, reading `When Dinosaurs Ruled the Earth.' I guess the intention had been to evoke Ray Harryhausen-esque visions of T-Rex chowing down on a Triceratops in volcanic lands, but my mind conjured a different image:
Me, sitting on a throne, kinda like A Pharaoh, King David, or a Japanese Emperor.
...Or maybe me, dressed up likea famous crown wearing musician, with a huge mansion, Olympic sized pool (with floaties so I can swim), and ten sports cars. I mean, wow!
Grant nearly jumped through the banner when he met me at the foot of a double staircase. "...Albert?"
I gave him a triumphant thumbs up. "Mr. Muldoon's fine." My smile faltered. "Fine-ish. He broke his leg. Anyway, he's safe."
The man sighed in relief. "That's great!...Uh, where is he?"
When I told him, he frowned. "I guess, with the fences back on, he won't get harassed too much down there. The only trouble is getting him back out. I have got to find a radio."
He stared at my bullet wound in worriment. "You're injured. You going to be all right?"
"I...think so. My...new girlfriend just removed the bullet."
"That's...good." The look on his face kinda disagreed. He dug a bandage out of his pocket. "You're in luck. I just happened to find this upstairs."
One of those square, large wound bandages. He removed the backing and slapped it on my shoulder. "I'd look for some aspirin, but I'm not sure if that's good for dinosaurs."
"Thanks. I'll work through the pain." I rubbed the tape down. "Where's the kids?"
"In the cafeteria eating. I'm looking for my friends, and a doctor. Apparently they're not upstairs."
I scratched my head. "Want me to help?"
He paused and thought a moment. "You should probably watch the children."
I saluted him, making him smirk a little. He marched on down a hallway.
The children had found a buffet. Although the chefs abandoned the area, the cold and steam tables continued to run, so the three abandoned serving etiquette, sticking her grubby hands into everything and stuffing their faces without utensils. Lex, a vegetarian, naturally stuck to greens, nuts and mushrooms. I guess she didn't know they made Jell-O from pulverized bones.
Cassie approached me with a greasy chicken drumstick clutched in one fist, a glazed roll in the other. "Did you find my dad?"
I pointed to my bandage. "Where do you think I got this from?"
"He bandaged your arm?"
"Are you kidding? No!" I rubbed my face in frustration. "Look, your trigger happy dad is just fine. He, uh...kinda broke his leg, but, you know, better than getting disemboweled."
Her lower lip trembled. "Where is he now?"
I shrugged. "Some tunnel inside the raptor paddock. I heard a door locking. He should be fine until we figure out a way to get him."
Cassie hastily devoured the chicken, stuffing the glazed roll into her pocket. "Let's get him now!"
"Unh-uh! No way! You know how hard I had to fight just to—"
I couldn't finish the sentence. A tower of gelatin nearby seemed to be trembling...a little too much. About the same time, The Glenn Miller Orchestra came on the PA system with `It Must Be Jelly `Cuz Jam Don't Shake Like That.'
Lex and Tim jumped at shadows moving across a mural nearby. I only had to sniff to know the source of the disturbance: The other raptors had somehow followed me in.
Diamond backed Moriarty's claws clicked across the tile floor. By her side, Clouseau and Zorro snorted as they visually swept the area, followed by Hastings, Felicity and Mickey. I didn't see (ulp) Biddy with them.
"Cassie," I hissed.
No answer. She'd slipped away when I wasn't looking.
"Cassie!" I called. "If you're hiding...Stay there!"
Something made a soft squeak. I glanced back just in time to see a little panel on a cold table thumping shut.
Clump! Went a door behind me, the latching sound a little too noisy for comfort.
The other raptors perked in excitement of the hunt, rushing toward the buffet.
"Ladies..." I gestured to the spread. "Have a plate."
The uncivilized females ignored the fried chicken and roast beef, grunting about live prey.
I stepped back in Fighting Horse Position, raising my claws. "Take a booth, or I take you out."
Zorro tried to rush past, so I jumped and kicked her in the face.
Clouseau snuck past while I did this. I grabbed a carving knife from the roast, flinging it in her direction. It thunked through a vent cover below the salad bar.
"Oh no! Cassie!"
Zorro bit me. I threw mashed potatoes into her eyes, and when she snapped her mouth at me again, I stuffed it with fried chicken. "Open thy mouth and I shall fill it," I quoted.
Zorro shook off the potatoes, smacking her lips. She got up on the buffet, pigging out on seasoned bird parts.
"See? It's not so—"
A body with a red streaked tail thundered me into a soda fountain machine, showering us both with ice chips.
I shook off the frosty bits. "It's good that we're not cold blooded. Anyway..." I opened a cabinet door, and upon sighting a huge container of ice, dumped its contents all over my scaly companion.
I yanked on a random hose, and carbonated water came spraying out, with a gush of sticky corn syrup. I let Hastings have it, full blast. "Drinks are on you!"
Hastings growled through an English Bulldog's underbite, breath coming out in a fog.
"And what a lovely smile you have!"
Clouseau and Moriarty darted toward the kitchen door. I tried to head them off, but Felicity knocked me into the chocolate fountain display. Warm fudge dribbled all over my head. Pies and cakes on little plates crashed to the floor under a rain of chocolate and candy sprinkles.
I poked my foe in the eye with an ice cream scoop, leaping after Moriarty and her friend with the equine star-stripe marking.
I threw the scoop at Clouseau. It hit the target, but bounced off, not deterring her in the slightest.
I picked up a heavier object, a chunk of marble shaped to resemble a dinosaur egg.
That one hit her square in the back...boy was she mad!
When she rushed me, I shoved a serving tray into her claws. "Here! Hold this."
To my surprise, she actually grabbed the tray. I presented her with a kick to the face. She collided with a buffet table, receiving a shower of scalding fondue.
Felicity came charging at me, but I toppled a recycle barrel and opened the lid. She plowed headfirst into Tin Can Land with an amazing amount of noise.
I jumped on her silver streaked back and hopped toward the kitchen, but Mickey, Clouseau and Hastings awaited me, tackling me to the floor like a quarterback in a fumble pile.
"Leave him alone!"a voice shouted.
I stared in astonishment as a small hand swung a thick dinosaur bone, cracking Mickey across the forehead.
A child, swinging a femur, possibly from that raptor skeleton I dismantled in the upper hallway when I did my Scooby Doo routine.
"Cassie?"
The second time the bone came down, I noticed another shocker: She rode on my girlfriend's back!
Biddy's body crashed into Clouseau's. The bone club struck again.
The moment I got up from the floor, Biddy made the "I love you" sound.
I responded with a "You are the only female I will ever love," noise.
She rubbed her head against Cassie. "She smells like you."
I jump-kicked Hastings in the temple, then addressed Biddy's rider. "Kid, did you get stabbed? Because I threw a knife into the salad bar."
Cassie furrowed her brow. "...No, I was already out the back. I almost screamed when your girlfriend found me a second later."
Since she seemed hungry, I fed Biddy some pot roast.
"Albert!" Cassie cried, pointing to the kitchen.
Moriarty now stared through a window on the kitchen door, warm blooded breath steaming up the glass.
"Get `em, boy," Cassie hissed.
I stared. After my experience with Biddy, I had no clue what that statement meant.
Also...boy?