Thank you for reading! Thank you, PDCr203 and Keeping Up Disappearances, for your feedback. Still trying to get to the plot of Lost World, but I got to write it in a way that makes sense, and connects to this story. Not quite there yet. Also, wondering if I should skip Jurassic Park 3 completely, that one wasn't quite as good as the other ones.

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Zorro crouched low, ready to strike. I didn't see any toe claw action, so, difficult to tell her intentions. She could rip out my jugular, tear it out with her teeth, work in the toe claw later...unless...

I glanced down.

Oh, right. I still cradled Percy, Edmond and Webbigail. Guess that explained that.

I gave Zorro an apologetic smile, pressing the infants close to my chest, gently petting them.

Zorro clenched her claws like fists. "No fair! You can't do that! Put the babies down so I can attack you properly!"

I just grinned and turned on my radio.

"You put them down right now, and fight—"

The sudden noise caught her off guard.

Zorro and my girlfriend leaned in close, their pose reminding me of those dogs on the RCA logo.

Being dinosaurs, no comprendida español, and would not have understood heady concepts like pecado y salvación anyway, but we caught the end of the broadcast, so the guy only spoke a minute before No Me Falta Nada, Hay Libertad Enia Casa de Dios and other songs.

"What is that sound?" my girlfriend asked me.

"More of the noise they create with the big metal tree things," Zorro scoffed.

"It's music." I danced a little, to illustrate enjoyment.

"The sound is different from the noise of the metal tree things."

"Yes, because they add sounds with their mouth." I demonstrated. "Laaaa!"

"It is fun," Zelda said.

Zorro shook her head. "I don't like it."

"Would you prefer the music of the metal tree things?"

"No, I don't like that either."

"Is it because they were performed by humans? If so..." I turned down the radio.

You already know Hammond let me play with electrical appliances. I don't know why that got a green light, but that meant I could demonstrate my lack of talent on a little electric organ. I played a few notes and warbled.

"Hmmm...maybe humans can do it better."

"You sure?" I played a little ditty that went between two notes. "La la la..."

Zelda wiggled a little in appreciation. "That sounds...nice."

Zorro rolled her eyes. "That's because you are dumb."

The beat up General Electric air organ had a tan plastic shell behind the keys, and I naturally set the children there so I could play my music, and teach them how to appreciate music as vibrations.

Unfortunately, that meant when I stood up to take a bow, Zorro could smash me into a fake concrete tree. "I should kill you right now!" she snarled in my face. "This place is much much worse than that jungle box thing with the spark wires!"

I suppose I could have picked up the babies, to protect myself from attack again, but that kind of felt dirty, like using them as a `human shield.' I mean, it's nicer than that, since they like to be held, but I worried Zorro might get a little too rough, and maybe she needed to get the fight out of her system a little, so she can start acting rationally.

Also, I could have fought back harder, but she was cute, no humans were in danger, and she had rested her head on me earlier. I instead slipped out of her clutches.

I tripped and stumbled into my tire swing, which (upon me giving it extra momentum on the way to the floor) rebounded in Zorro's face.

You know how they make those armless rubber man dummies? Hammond and Wu didn't like that idea very much, so they made me a crude Velociraptor dummy from local sand and random junk they had lying around.

A difficult thing, making practice dummies for a dinosaur. Hammond tried regular canvas and leather and stuff, but my claws ripped a hole in everything, and sand came pouring out. You can only duct tape something so much.

"Use your fists, not your claws!" he'd say, but I don't know, when's the last time a Velociraptor fought like that?

They eventually got this nylon stuff that they make parachutes out of, layered in a mesh kinda thick around canvas and leather. Sand core. It looked like a ghastly Velociraptor mummy, spraypainted green. I called it Bruce Raptor.

When Zorro crouched to tear into me, I stood in front of it, making a menacing pose.

Zorro leapt, I stepped aside, and she got introduced to Bruce Raptor.

I chuckled as I watch her attempt to extricate her claws from the mesh, but only for a moment — Zelda had a beef with me, too.

My girlfriend tackled me to the floor, snarling and biting me like a dog.

I instinctively read this as `Pack leader disciplining a bad raptor' rather than `I'm going to kill you now.'

Yeah, I heard from somewhere we're officially not pack animals. But you know how they had to fill the gaps in our DNA with something.

I rolled her on her back, pressed her to the floor. "Hey, isn't this how we first met?"

Before my girlfriend could reply, Zorro rammed her body into me. I sailed across the floor, landing next to my treadmill.

I brushed myself off and got up.

I switched the treadmill on, cranked up the speed, made like I were using it.

When Zorro came after me, I pushed the speed lever to maximum and dived between the bars.

She kept up for a moment, then...the look on her face! Priceless! It was like `What is this magical device that makes the ground move so fast?'

Zip! Pow! Off she goes, crashing into my weight set. Nap time for Zorro.

My girlfriend pounced me again, snarling and biting. "I hate you so much for locking us in here!"

"Sorry. Like I said, it was an accident."

Zelda growled, tried to eat my mouth.

I rolled myself on top. "Honey, I'm getting really confused. What are we doing here?"

"You are so frustrating and stupid!" She growled and bit me. "I am very confused. I am mad at you, but also am very not, and want to do something that does not involve disemboweling you."

I swallowed. "I...I'm glad you're confused."

Her teeth sunk into my neck.

"Ow! What was that—?"

Zelda threw me underneath again, trying to do something with my cloaca.

"Wow! Whoa, okay?"

"I didn't want to admit it before, but you have a cute prison, and I see how you care for young. You will make a good parent for my hatchlings."

"Well than you. Hope you don't mind I never had dinosaur sex ed...You sure we shouldn't get married first?"

She stared. "Marry? What does that mean?"

"Umm, you verbally commit to each other before a group of—"

Ring!

The Batphone! Both our eyes widened.

I smiled at Zelda apologetically. "Sorry. Gotta get that."

I rushed to my little desk and picked up. "Hello, Sensei Albert's Martial Arts Academy?"

Cynthia audibly seethed. "Albert, you dick! Where'd you hide the keys?"

I stared at the phone, about to break into a happy dance. "You...can't find them?"

"You said they were next to the stairs at the front entrance! I looked all around there and didn't see Jack!"

Zelda purred and rubbed up against me.

"Honey, I totally want your cloaca, but..." I covered the receiver, speaking in raptorese. "If I play this right, she could let us out of here!"

Zelda's eyes bulged in surprise. "Really? Then I will be extra quiet!"

I uncovered the phone. "Cynthia, how did you know where I left the keys anyway?"

"You mentioned it while you were scarfing down my cooking."

I had a brief flashback of eating a Bronto burger and making an offhand comment. "That's where I left it. I don't know what to tell you. Want me to come help you look?"

Cynthia hung up on me.

Zelda gave me a questioning look.

"I don't know. We'll have to wait and see."

"I'm hungry."

The babies cried.

"They seem hungry too."

"Want some cold pizza?"

"What's a pizza?"

Forgot to mention: I owned a fridge. A used fridge, but Hammond trusted me with it, so I had a halfway decent repast to offer, large slices of burned `discard material' pizza. The raptor babies really didn't require bottle feeding, so I fed some to them as well.

Webbigail, though...

Hammond told me he cloned dinosaurs like Nigel with a dependence on Lysine or something so they could only eat special plants around the island...and I unfortunately only had a bag of celery (I like to snack on celery and peanut butter sometimes. Yeah, don't know why my digestion is so good).

I picked up the Batphone again, explaining my predicament to Cynthia. "I don't want to get her sick!"

Cynthia made the kind of "Dooh" sound Yosamite Sam makes when he's pissed at Bugs Bunny. "Hold on." She hung up.

Beep! Clunk! Beep! Clunk!

Cynthia pushed open the observation room door, propped it open with a fossil. She wore a badge on a lanyard this time, but being the only human there, couldn't fault her for paranoia.

She approached the glass, scowling at me with her hands on her hips. "Where'd you hide it?"

"I left it where I said I left it. To the best of my knowledge, it hasn't moved, unless another dinosaur took it."

"Another dinosaur? Like who? Your girlfriend?"

"How should I know? It could be anyone, One Eyed Willie, Buttface, maybe Nigel made the earth move and it dropped down a sinkhole. I can help you look..."

Cynthia glowered at me. Webbigail cried.

"You got anything for my vegan baby?"

Groaning, she sent a bottle through the bank drive through thingy below the window.

Watching me feed the baby had a soothing effect on the woman, and I think seeing Zorro unconscious sweetened the deal. With the tone of a parent telling kids they're not grounded anymore: "Quick. Get your babies and girlfriend to the door before your buddy with Irritable Bowel Syndrome wakes up."

Didn't have to tell me twice. I grabbed the babies, bottle and a slice, rushing to the door, Zelda close at my heels.

My girlfriend licked me when we entered the observation room. "I never doubted you could get us out of there."

Cynthia impatiently ushered us out to the hallway.

"Umm, minor issue: How do we get downstairs? Ask Nigel to offer herself as an elevator like on the Flintstones?"

The woman snorted. "Yeah, like that worked so well last time." She pointed to a corridor. "There's an emergency stairwell next to the elevator."

I followed her to a door marked with the symbol of flames and a man running. "I'm glad this exists. I was just thinking that even if we jury rigged an elaborate pulley system using blankets, that scaffolding and the thing they use to bring paint up and down, Zelda would be too chicken to use it."

Cynthia pulled the door open. "The whole counterweight thing would be tough too. Once I got your girlfriend down, you'd be stranded up here, because I'm half your size."

I swallowed, marching down the steps. "Guess...it's good we have this...So, umm, me and Zelda were discussing...getting hitched. Do you know anybody—?"

She shook her head. "I'm not ordained in anything. You need a preacher or a ship's captain..."

"A ship's captain? Really?"

"You never watched Gilligan's Island?"

"Umm, wasn't my favorite. Guess I missed that episode."

By the time we reached the lobby, the pizza disappeared, the bottle near emptied.

We came out next to a small store with the Jurassic Park logo on the glass. "Hey look! A gift shop!"

The woman only rolled her eyes. "That's always been there. Help me find the keys."

I slowly skated across the lobby, super extra careful, on account of the babies. Patches of it had dried, and I nearly fell over when I hit them. Cynthia skidded and had to do windmills with her arms to remain upright. Zelda did a faceplant.

I glanced back in worriment. "You okay, honey?"

She shook it off and got up, grunting an affirmative, as well as a compliment about me safely handling the babies.

I scurried down the steps to the place where I'd left my keys.

Gone!

I scowled at the muddy earth. "This is where I left them..."

I gave Zelda a questioning look, asked in raptorese if she'd picked up any "Shiny human metal thingies."

"Shiny human metal thingies are not my favorite thingies. I like nature thingies the best, like pretty rocks or interesting flowers."

I grinned. "Really? Wow! Good to know!"

I scratched my chin, staring at the dirt. "Watson, we have a mystery on our hands. I require a magnifying glass, a pipe and a funny hat."

Cynthia rolled her eyes. "Seriously? You're like an apex jungle predator. You should be able to spot a mouse taking a crap a mile away, or smell a bunny hiding behind a bush ten yards distant."

I gave her my most skeptical facial expression. "Is that a fact."

"I maybe exaggerated a little, to illustrate a point, but I'm pretty sure a dinosaur doesn't need a magnifying glass to track down prey, or a set of lost keys."

"I saw magnifying glasses in the gift shop."

"Those are like, not even real magnifying glasses. They just stuck a piece of clear plastic on a stick and decorated it with a dinosaur."

"Can I have one, please?"

"Ugh!" Although visibly annoyed, she stomped off into the lobby.

As an experiment, I looked toward the horizon and squinted. "Nope, no squatting mice."

Cynthia returned to the stairs. "I found you a deluxe model, whatever good it does you. On the plus side, that floor cleaning stuff is almost completely dry." She tossed me the magnifying glass.

I turned the item over in my claws. Real glass, embossed with dinosaur skeleton designs, size worthy of Sherlock Holmes. "Not bad..."

"And before you ask, no, they do not sell deerstalker hats. That would just be stupid."

"Hmmmm..." I waved the glass over the `crime scene.' "Hmmm!" I brought it up to my eye, peering closer at the dirt. I admit, nine tenths of this was just for show, for my own personal enjoyment.

Cynthia impatiently tapped her foot. "Anytime you're done clowning around..."

I did indeed discover a clue. "Watson! What do you make of these small dinosaur footprints?"

The woman sighed through her nostrils. "This had better not be something dumb!" She put her hands on her knees, squinting at the muddy tracks. "Those are paw prints."

"Paw prints?" I put a claw to my chin. "Hmmm...Now what kind of dinosaur on this island would have paws?"

Cynthia crossed her arms. "It's a cat. Her name is Lucky. She's the island stray."

"There's a cat? On this island?"

"Yes. I don't know how she got here, maybe she came on a boat, or some staff person broke policy and brought her along, like keeping her outdoors and pretending she's not their pet like they do at city apartment buildings..."

"How'd she not get eaten?"

"There's electric fences keeping the predators in."

"Uh, yeah, so how'd she not get eaten? I saw Pterodactyls."

"How the hell should I know? There's a reason why we call her Lucky. People have seen her all over the island, even before the fences went down." She blew a raspberry. "The little punk probably ran off with our keys."

I straightened up. "The game is afoot."

We followed our suspect's footprints through shrubbery around the building.

"Seriously, Ebert, where's your predatory hunting instincts? I bet your buddy in the cell upstairs can figure out the difference between the footprint of a kitty cat and a dinosaur."

"I live a sheltered life! Give me a break!"

As we turned the corner (nearing Cynthia's secret bunker crop of cannabis) we found a mangy black cat, devouring the tiny mutilated body of a Compsognathus. There, beside the very bony animal, lay my set of keys.

I crept forward, but Cynthia frantically waved me back, hissing, "Let me do it! This requires stealthy hunting tactics (which you obviously do not possess)!"

She snuck closer, on her tiptoes. The cat's tail twitched warily back and forth, as if it noticed.

Scarcely breathing, Cynthia dropped on her hands and knees, and...

"Meow!" Lucky's teeth chomped down on the dinosaur squeak toy attached to the key ring, bolting into the bushes.

"Get back here, you little bitch!" Cynthia yelled.

I scoffed. "Great stealthy hunting tactics, Cynthia."

"Shut up!"

We must have spent more than an hour tracking that cat down, through every inch of the Visitor Center and its grounds. We returned to the lobby empty handed.

Cynthia got a bunch of fish from the buffet and freezer (the latter we microwaved, of course), tried to bait the cat out of hiding, but the cat would just run out, grab the fish and dart back into hiding.

"You two are dumbheads," Zelda sighed. "I show you how to hunt. Do what I say and follow raptor-commands."

I swallowed. "Yes ma'am."

I don't speak Proceratosaurus, but I think Buttface said a similar thing.

Zelda padded toward one end of the lobby, making silent hunting gestures that I, shockingly understood (and found rather sexy). Buttface scampered to the staircase like she also knew what's up.

"What is she doing?" Cynthia whispered.

"Raptor mojo. Take position near the staircase debris. I think Lucky's luck is about to run out."

Cynthia did. "Well don't kill the little darling! Just get the—"

It all happened so fast. Zelda spooked the cat, sending it screeching my way.

My, er...`tactic' resembled that of a soccer goalie.

I had hopes of either catching the balding ball of fur, or sending it to Cynthia, but Lucky wanted to go outside.

Buttface jumped up, and...

Gulp!

Crunch, crunch, munch. No more kitty.

Unfortunately...no more keys, either.

"Wow! Guess I wasn't kidding about that luck thing!"

"Buttface!" Cynthia yelled. "Bad..." She couldn't pronounce Proceratosaurus either. "Dinosaur!"

Her pet only rolled over on his back for a belly rub.

We stood frowning at her.

"Great. There go the keys. Now what?"

"To the best of my knowledge, a set of keys is indigestible."

"Um, what are you implying?"

Cynthia pulled a pair of rubber gloves out of her pocket. "I'll be back with the laxatives."

It took about three hours for the cat bones, raggedy collar and melted squeak toy to move through Buttface's upper and lower intestines. Then came the sordid business of fishing through Proceratosaurus dung.

"You are very...tenacious," I remarked as I watched her work.

"I should own that house, because I'm the one fishing keys out of poop."

"They don't make Velociraptor gloves."

"Who said anything about gloves, you weenie?" She jangled the keys with a look of triumph. "Yes!"

"We still don't know where the place is."

All of a sudden, she put her arms around me and wept on my neck. "Lucky!"

A little shocking, her deciding me a shoulder (or neck) worth crying upon, even with filthy hands, but I returned the embrace, listening to her whimper about how she loved the cat and stuff.

Zelda looked a little jealous, but then muttered, "She would make a terrible raptor." I replied with a slight nod.

Once we'd made the keys (and ourselves) less disgusting, Cynthia brought some maps down from the control room. I kinda felt like Indiana Jones when we unfurled them on the boardroom table, charting our course with a compass and ruler.

"Okay, so...east from here, north of the boat dock, he's got his beachfront house...of course, he's an old man, so he's got like underground trams, or golf cart tunnels all the way to the Visitor Center, plus a hurricane bunker..."

"If he's got a tram, why'd he take a Jeep to get out of here?"

Cynthia scratched her head, staring at the blueprints. "Not...sure. I mean, with the T-Rex and your raptor friends in the lobby, you'd have to be crazy to go down that way, plus the power was out...I haven't actually gone down there and looked around, there could have been a cave-in I don't know about..."

I pointed to the dinosaur symbol. "Wouldn't his house get trampled by Gallimimuses?"

"I think you say `Gallimimus' as plural."

"Okay, trampled by Gallimimus."

"I dunno, the guy likes to live dangerously. Plus it's close to the dock and hydroelectric plant, and he'd get to see the Brachiosaurus every day."

"Yeah, but it's also on a flood plain."

"There's a reason why beachfront homes are expensive. Besides, the guy's off his rocker. He's always had a few screws loose. Thinks he's God and Santa rolled up in one. Honestly, he prefers to spend time on safari, or bossing people around at the Visitor's Center. I don't even know why he has that house."

I picked up the Sat Phone. "You said I could use this, right?"

Cynthia rolled her eyes. "Who are you calling? Hammond?"

"I, uh, actually don't know his number."

"Then who else could it be? You don't know anyone!"

I was already dialing the number I'd memorized from the radio.

"Do you even know how to use that?"

"I watched Wu and Hammond. It's easy."

"You gotta put in a country code."

I held up a claw. "It's ringing."

Cynthia gawked at me, speechless.

"Bueno," said a woman on the other end. "Ministerio Montaña Del Fuego."

"Padre Santiago, por favor."

A moment later, a voice said, "¿Buenos noches?"

I recognized the radio famous voice immediately. "¡Hola! Soy Albert..."

In Spanish, I thanked him for introducing me to Jesu Cristo and for the beautiful music they played on the station, then, "Do you perform marriages?"

"Sí, sí, mas facil."

"¡Que fantastico!"

I tabled the thought for later, asking him a question that had been burning in my heart for some time, whether dinosaurs existed in the Garden of Eden. The man's response: Dinosaurs were actually huge chickens that Adam ate for food, and what we think is a T-Rex is actually a big lion skeleton. Also, scientists apparently make and bury a lot of fake skeletons. They have a factory, and the whole carbon dating thing was made up.

"Really? You don't think fossils could be, like, discarded prototypes?"

"God doesn't make mistakes or need practice. People who believe in dinosaurs always argue that man evolved from ape. Man did not evolve!"

"Okay, fair point, but what if it's like Henry Ford when he made the Model T? I mean, it wasn't a bad car, it's a classic (in fact, I've heard they're super easy to repair because of the simple design, so they last a lot longer than the stuff today), but then the company made Mustangs..."

"I'm sorry, I do not understand."

"Never mind," I groaned.

All that made me hesitant to ask whether or not it is Christian to kill and eat another dinosaur.

I told him I prayed like he said on the radio, and God did bless me with a release from my imprisonment. Twice. Unfortunately, I didn't have any money to donate to his ministry.

He said it was okay, God will bless me if I share the word and donate something later.

"What will the feast with the Lord look like in heaven? I mean, there's like billions of Christians in the world, and throughout history. Is it going to be like this really big table where you need a telescope to see Jesus, or does he clone himself so he can sit at each individual table?"

"That is something we'll find out in heaven."

"Um, okay...Is it a sin to rub your cloaca against objects? Because sometimes I get really hot..."

The man hung up on me.

Cynthia's face had turned bright red. "I'm...going to pretend that I don't know Spanish, even though I use it all the time to survive down here." She snatched the Sat Phone out of my claws. "At least we know it works."

During all this, I'd noticed rumbling, and a fair amount of static during the call. But now, in addition to this, we had the unpleasant sound of gallons of water splashing on an indoor surface. It kinda sounded like a giant pissing.

The woman opened the door, and it got louder. "Oh that's just lovely. There's no glass, so it just comes pouring right in."

We stared at the shattered front entrance. Another monsoon had rolled in, maybe not as bad as the hurricane that hit a few days ago, but still pretty bad. I couldn't see that much through the dark and sheets of rain.

Cynthia blew a raspberry. "My apartment is probably going to get flooded, but I really don't want to go out in that, especially when it's dark and we've never been to the place."

I grabbed the infants. "I thought we were going to check out the tram."

"Oh. Right. That is a good idea." She retrieved the maps from the board room, a couple flashlights from the gift shop, stowed the items in a Jurassic Park rucksack.

Zelda carried Edmond and Percy.

I myself held Webbigail, as well as a Jurassic Park backpack with her bottles inside. "Wait, what about Zorro? I don't think she's eaten in awhile."

"Okay, you can go feed her."

"Oh no, I'm not falling for that trick again!"

Cynthia gave me a mischievous grin. "What trick?"

"You have the keys. There's no reason for you to let me out."

"Oh c'mon, I trust you now!"

I only rolled my eyes. "Well maybe I don't." I rubbed my chin. "Oh. I forgot. I got a dumbwaiter and an automatic water dispenser."

"Guess there's no rush. That storm might take a minute to blow through."

I sent some tasty things up to my room, leftovers that Cynthia cooked up, plus some frozen food we microwaved. No scraps from the scrap bin this time. "Before you knew what the Batphone was for, what exactly were you trying to accomplish on there? I thought you didn't want to leave."

"I wanted supplies. Dinosaur containment." She tapped the rolled up map. "It's got to be dry down in the tunnels. Let's see how much headway we can make."

We traveled down a hallway beside the ruined staircase.

A lot of damage on that side. Chunks of the wall had cracked, fallen down, and it leaned in a disconcerting way.

"Don't touch that wall," Cynthia whispered.

A few yards down, we found a staircase built like that of a subway station, but narrow.

The moment we approached...clomp, clomp, clomp. Up came a one eyed Proceratosaurus and four of her fin headed companions.

Cynthia nervously reversed direction. "Oh shit oh shit."

Buttface, being the good guard...dinosaur she was, took a submissive stance, lying belly up on the floor before our enemy.

"They are small and edible," said Zelda. "Why are we running?"

"We're carrying babies, and Cynthia is weak and edible."

The woman paled. "Are you talking about eating me?"

"No ma'am! I was referring to them eating you. And how exactly did you understand that anyway?"

"I dunno, maybe I picked up something when we were partying last night."

We retreated to the safety of the lobby, staring into the storm.

"I hate to say it," Cynthia muttered. "But we're going to have to go out there..."

Lightning flashed. The sound of thunder cracked loudly through the building.

Under the brilliant flicker of illumination, four glistening green figures appeared at the stairs:

Moriarty, and trailing behind, Clouseau, Mickey and Felicity.

Enemies closing in on both sides. I, Zelda and Cynthia stood with our backs to each other, staring in dismay.

I swallowed. "Great. Now what do we do?"

Cynthia glanced around nervously. "I dunno, die?"