The girl had dressed semi-appropriately for the occasion: Green camo T-shirt, camo pajama pants, face and arms smeared with mud. She even had little hiking boots, likely due to hanging out with Dad in The Bush.

Though I could take it better than my human companions, not exactly cool or comfortable on that hill. A muggy breeze blew on my bare dinosaur skin, but didn't bring much relief. Clouds of dust blew in from the site of the mass dinosaur kidnapping...accompanied by the ever present diesel exhaust. Oh, and Nick...in desperate need of a better underarm deodorant. Honestly, kinda wished I didn't have a Jacobson's organ at this point.

The wind covered Cassie's noise...slightly. To avoid detection, she scuttled like a crab, making a hasty retreat into a ditch beneath a nearby tree...kind of like how the Hobbits escaped the Black Riders in Lord of the Rings...except there's a whole camp of worse `Black Riders' at the foot of the hill, who can probably see her.

Everyone stared at me. I crumpled the note in my claw, wondering if I should bury, pee on, or shred the incriminating evidence into little tiny pieces? Perhaps a combination of the above? "Uh...nothing to see here...just my imaginary friend throwing a rock at me!" I forced a smile. "You know me, I love pretending!"

Quickly, I contemplated my options. Egads, the horrifying scenarios: My companions digging up the note, retrieving it from under rocks, getting their hands soaked in pee and still reading the paper, the jigsaw puzzle masters fighting the wind and piecing together the torn note...

I shoved the paper into my mouth and swallowed it.

Ian narrowed his eyes at me. "Did you just eat something?"

I shrugged. "I found...a leaf. Trying this `vegetarian thing' out, for Webby...maybe it will help her not get gas."

Webbigail stared at me in bafflement, making a questioning dog sound.

"Huh. Interesting. Let me know how that new diet works out. It's silly, but I could have sworn you just ate a piece of paper."

"Nope! But it was cellulose."

Ian snickered and shook his head. "You know, I can't justify the expense of a T-Rex, or a huge park full of prehistoric animals, but to have a pet like you, who actually knows how to read? Put that on my credit card!" To himself, he muttered, "He knows about cellulose!"

I smiled. "As much as I like the idea of geeking out with you, my family has to be part of the package."

"Alas, I have nowhere to put a family of your size. Especially since you're not housebroken."

"I can hold my bladder when I feel like it!"

"Guys..." Sarah pointed to the fields below. "We're losing them."

Before, from our vantage point, the hunters' vehicles resembled Micro Machines (not, in other words, Hot Wheels size) to the unaided eye, but now...more like Micro Machines built by tiny ants.

I cleared my throat in a meaningful fashion.

Sarah frowned at me. "What, did the leaf go down the wrong pipe?"

"I'm a dinosaur. I can track things. Plus, they're leaving tire tracks, and probably cigarette butts and beer cans everywhere. I could probably find these guys blindfolded."

Ian gave his chin a thoughtful tap. "Let's...not go on a wild goose chase. We already know the location of their camp. We can wait for them there."

Nick nodded. "Right. It's too early for them to pull up stakes and go home."

We returned to the trailer to grab a quick bite before another grueling reconnaissance session. Cassie...trailed behind us, of course.

As a ninja, I'd give her three and a half stars for effort. I mean, sometimes she'd slip around undetected, but at other times, Ian or somebody would cry, "Shh! Did you hear something?" and I'd have to make up some lie like, "Sorry, must have been something I had for lunch," or "It's the wind," or "I got bored and tossed a rock" (nearly maimed Cassie by throwing a `second one'). When that didn't work, I pretended to spar with my imaginary friend to cover up the noise. Cassie took the hint and lagged back at an even greater distance.

Zelda greeted us at the trailer. Sourly. "May I please kill these humans?" she growled to me in raptorese.

I sighed. "Sweetie, there are ways to solve problems without gruesomely slicing open a person's stomach and ripping out their internal organs!"

"Okay, so what's your plan, Smart Raptor?"

Cynthia was standing right there with her alarm keychain thing, so I could only flare my nostrils and point my eyeballs in her direction. "Can't talk about this now. Prying ears."

Cynthia snickered.

Inside the trailer, Cynthia and Eddie replaced the batteries in our collars with fully charged ones.

"Don't get any ideas," Eddie warned. "We can still drop you with the darts." But I think that was B.S. because wouldn't you need electricity to operate a remote controlled dart device?

Ian's team had brought along some prepackaged meals to eat. Mostly dry goods, though they also had a fair amount of stuff in the freezer, TV dinner style, but a little fancier, didn't look like they got it from a grocery store.

Chicken, potatoes and gravy, baked beans. They microwaved it.

Cynthia handed me a tray. "Sorry about the small portions, Albert. I know how much you like to eat..."

"That's...okay."

"He's vegetarian," Ian blurted.

I reddened. "This diet isn't working for me."

Ian scrunched up his face. "I thought you were going meatless...for Webby."

I responded with a dismissive wave. "It's fine. I'm starved."

Cynthia...seemed eager to make me a veggiesaurus. "Actually, I'm...a little concerned about the spices and stuff...as a general rule of thumb, you don't give animals chocolate or things covered in spices...In fact, didn't you say that one raptor got diarrhea from the buffet?"

"Honestly, I don't know what the heck she ate! I'm certain that food won't bother my stomach."

Although still reluctant, she admitted, "Okay, well, I don't have the luxury of going all the way back to Hammond's place, and...not a great time for you to be hunting..."

"I'll be fine. I've eaten pizza before. And chips."

"Uh...I'm thinking they used fake animal spices on that stuff...Like chicory."

I gave her a dismissive wave. "I'll be fine, don't worry about it."

I took my meal to the rear of the trailer, where I'd be the least conspicuous...and grabbed a Jurassic Park flashlight.

Unwrapping the dinner, I turned my back to my companions, unscrewed the flashlight, tossed the batteries under a tote, and "Umph umph mmmph! This is soo good" dumped it all into the empty flashlight. I also licked out the tray pretty good afterwards, because I was actually hungry.

I screwed the flashlight back together. "Delicious! But, oh, wouldn't you know it, I'm still hungry."

"He's a bottomless pit," Cynthia groaned. "Just like his wife."

Ian cracked open a pudding cup. "He can have that stale turkey in the freezer. We had talks of making stew, but I'm actually dreading the moment we get that low on food. I think I'd prefer eating my own shoes."

Sarah narrowed her eyes at him. "It didn't taste that bad."

"Yeah? Well I have taste buds."

"It was dry," Eddie agreed.

Nick coughed. "I think they must have cloned that thing like the dinosaurs."

They brought it out. A whole bird, with a few cuts taken out. They'd cooked it thoroughly then re-froze it partway: A coating of crystals on the skin, but marginally more tender inwards. Cynthia offered to heat it up.

"That's okay. I enjoy a good gnaw, and it's hot outside. It'll be like ice cream...Is it okay if I eat outside? This trailer is a bit stuffy."

Ian scooped chocolate into his mouth. "That's actually a great idea. It'll save us from cleaning up a mess."

Cynthia shrugged. "Don't run off. I got the clicker."

I took my turkey and the `torch' to the door. Cynthia scowled, putting her hands on her hips. "What are you doing with that flashlight?"

"I thought it might get overcast."

The look on her face said `bullshit.' "You got night vision."

"I'm...bringing it along so you...can see me! You know, like a signal!"

I couldn't tell if she bought it or not. I mean, she knew me to be childish...I quickly rushed out the door before she asked another question, Zelda and Webby trailing me.

"Did you bring me some food?"

I looked around, but didn't see anyone. "Your ninja skills are improving."

I had to sniff to locate the little girl. Cassie had hidden herself beneath the trailer, amongst thick clumps of weeds. "Great spot! No one's going to find you there!"

"The ticks have. I think I feel one crawling in my shorts." Cassie waved to Zelda and growled hello in raptorese.

`Hello, cute little hatchling,' Zelda chirped back.

I passed the flashlight to the girl. "Bon apetit."

She frowned at me. "You want me to eat a flashlight?"

"No. I want you to open it."

The girl groaned when she saw what I'd put inside. "Did you get this idea from The Bradys Go to the Grand Canyon?"

"No?" I lied. "By the way, don't trust Cynthia. She put this collar on me. They're thinking about selling me and my family off."

Cassie gasped. "That's horrible! I thought you were friends!"

"I thought we were too. But I guess she wants to keep her job and be able to pay bills."

"She's a jerk."

I could only shrug.

The girl frowned at the interior of the flashlight. "Where's the silverware?"

"What?"

"Do you think I'm going to scoop these potatoes out with my fingers? Get me a spoon."

"Just a `sec."

I marched back into the trailer, turkey in one claw.

Cynthia scoffed. "I thought you said it was too stuffy in here."

"It is." I grabbed the spoon I'd used to scoop the stuff into the flashlight, darting out before the woman looked suspicious.

We picnicked. Cassie remained in hiding as she ate. I sat next to the little girl, gnawing on the turkey, a sensation similar to chewing cold, tough bubble gum. We spoke in low tones, so as to avoid being overheard.

"Heffalump wants some Kraft Catalina salad dressing, and maybe some bacon bits...Or maybe Newman's Own Italian. He's tired of eating regular plants. Not enough flavor."

I grinned. "You actually saw Heffalump?"

"Yeah. His English is as good as my Spanish."

"I'll see what I can pilfer...So. Let's get the obvious questions out of the way: How in the hell did you get here?"

"Albert, don't swear."

"I'm not swearing, I'm cussing. Swearing is using God's name in vain. Anyway, that's beside the point. How in the...flipping heck did you get here?"

"Long story." She shoveled food into her mouth, not adding any additional explanation.

I rolled my eyes. "C'mon, Cassie! You gotta give me more than that! We're buddies!"

"Okay fine," she sighed. "Look. Dad got sent to work on a different island, and I begged Mom to let me come with."

"With a broken leg?"

"He got better. Besides, it's just paperwork and managing stuff. Anyway, I hung out with him, and I overheard these guys talking about dinosaurs around some place called Isla Sorna in the Islands of the Five Deaths, and an expedition to capture them and put them in a crummy zoo. I saw the map. Your home wasn't far from there. I thought I'd come and warn you."

"Too late." I pointed to my collar. "How'd you get from there to here?"

"Snuck inside a storage container with the word `fragile' on the outside. They put me on a helicopter, then I snuck on a Jeep." She devoured her fried chicken. "Did you know the guy that got eaten by the T-Rex?"

I stared. "No? What guy?"

"I'm...not sure. I just overheard people talking about a lawyer guy that got eaten. I guess the family is suing the park people for a lot of money."

"Hmmm...I think that explains a few things..."

"Dad was thinking about suing too, but he got paid pretty good for the accident and stuff. He still appreciates how you helped him out, by the way."

"Hey, can you help me with this collar?"

"Let me see..." Cassie emerged from her hiding spot, but dove back in when Cynthia approached.

"Who are you talking to?"

"Uh...just my imaginary friend!...You got any Newman's Own Italian?"

Cynthia got a shifty look on her face. "Where is he?"

I frowned. "I thought we agreed that Heffalump was a just a figment of my imagination."

It took her a whole minute to come up with a good comeback. "Telll your figment he'd better keep a low profile or he's going to end up loaded into one of those big trucks."

Cassie belched. I quickly covered by belching myself.

Cynthia looked askance at my behavior, but only said, "Unless Heffy wants to `Ranch it up,' he's SOL."

"No Kraft Catalina with bacon bits?"

"I can check again, but I think we only got Thousand Island and Ranch."

"Cynthia, what are you doing?"

"Getting you salad dressing."

"No, I mean, the other thing. Why?"

"It's called plausible deniability." She marched into the trailer.

Zelda and I played mouth tug of war with the turkey, to split it up between us. It may not sound like it, but that's a super romantic thing to a Velociraptor...On level with that spaghetti eating scene gag from Lady and the Tramp.

Cassie examined my collar, but only shook her head. "Without a key, I'd need more than a screwdriver to take that thing off." She ducked back into hiding as Cynthia returned with a purple glass bottle.

"See if Hefty likes this. It's Raspberry Vinagrette. I don't think he's tried it yet." She glanced over her shoulder. "If anyone asks, he's still imaginary, and I got the dressing for your new diet...for the record, you didn't hear me say any of this. I will deny it."

Cassie sneezed. I made a fake sneeze to cover it.

At this point, Cynthia got really suspicious, bending down to look under the trailer.

You know that story about Abraham and Isaac, where he miraculously finds a ram stuck in a thicket so he doesn't have to sacrifice his son on the altar?...I'd kinda compare the following incident to that: As Cynthia made a move to check out Cassie's hiding spot, out popped a rabbit, chased by a second one.

Don't know if the rabbits had already been there, and Cass merely poked them with a stick, or if they just darted out during their courtship/mating chase, but I took full advantage, pointing my claw in that direction. "Bunnies!"

Cassie retreated away from us as we watched the rabbits zooming around in the grass. I got the feeling we interrupted something private, because they stopped and just kept staring at us like `Are they ever going to go away?'

Cynthia tried checking the girl's hiding spot, but found nothing. For a moment, she cast me an irritated glance, hands on her hips.

Sighing through her nose, she handed me the salad dressing and stomped back into the trailer.

I slipped the container to Cassie. "Guess you'd better do as she says and `keep a low profile.'"

We finished dinner, preparing to spy on the poachers again. The whole team gathered around the door

Ian spoke to Cynthia about the arrangements. "We're about to do something very dangerous, so I need you to watch Kelley while we're out."

Cynthia sighed. "Fine. Looks like I'd be babysitting either way. Mrs. Velociraptor already ran off—hey!"

Cassie would have made a good street urchin in one of those Dickens or Sherlock Holmes stories. While Cynthia had been standing around talking, the little girl shot out from under the trailer, nabbed `The Clicker' from her back pocket, and bolted across the field.

Cynthia immediately ran in pursuit. "You little scamp! You are in so much trouble! The moment I catch you, I'm gonna beat your butt!"

`I'm going,' Zelda chirped at me. `You coming with?'

I shook my head. "They can track us. Plus I want to see—"

Zelda didn't wait for me to finish. She immediately darted off in the direction opposite Cynthia, Webby on her back.

Ian glanced uncomfortably at Eddie. "Where's your taser thing?"

"It's in the trailer. I was just replacing the batteries. Hold on."

The moment the man opened the door, Buttface bounded out, knocking him on his rear. By the time he had the device in his hand, with the back panel screwed on, Zelda was gone.

"Fantastic. That's just great."

[0000]

We'll get to the rest of the story later. Let's go back to our adventure with Araceli and Heffalump...

The room made an electronic breathing noise when we entered, accompanied by hissing like a semi's air brakes, and a steam train braking at a station. Although dark when the automatic sliding doors hissed open, neon blue tube lighs pulsed on, then some unseen ambient light source illuminated the chamber the rest of the way.

The place resembled the bridge of a spaceship from science fiction movie, if they built everything out of copper. Computer stations, ostensibly modeled after the fiction of Jules Verne, if he'd foreseen the miniaturization of electronics, and extra large monitors. Non-English symbols filled the screens.

No alien spaceship is complete without a three dimensional holographic map of the planet Earth. It floated above a kiosk in the center of the room.

Oh, and humanoid dinosaur skeletons seated in command chairs. Can't omit that detail. Cynthia and Araceli shrieked when they saw them.

"What in the name of Shatner?" Cynthia backed toward the doors, dragging Araceli with her. "C'mon, kid, we're leaving. Albert, you too!"

"I'm in a room full of dinosaur people, and you want me to leave?"

"I take it you never saw Poltergeist, or The Shining."

"Cynthia, they're dinosaur people! I'm connecting with my roots!"

"You were cloned with a human brain, in a lab. How can these things be a root of anything related to you?"

I didn't reply. For some time, I'd secretly wondered what would happen if me (or some other dinosaur) and Cynthia had an egg together. Now I had a visual illustration:

The creature, clad in chain mail and a toga, clamped her armrests with fingers tipped with dinosaur claws. She stared eyelessly at me, flashing a fanged smile only a Velociraptor can appreciate. Jewelry bedecked her curving, swept back horns.

I gave the skeleton a friendly wave. "Nice to meet you, ma'am. I only wish we could have met under better circumstances...when you were actually alive..."

How did we find this place? Did we get abducted? Beamed aboard a UFO?

Nope! We discovered this room full of...alien tech...in a cavern...right around the corner from Hammond's place. And it all began with Araceli's glowing necklace.

Cynthia turned the pendant over. "That's amazing!"

So...The pendant was cool and all, but it didn't serve an apparent purpose, and amazement only goes so far. "...But I'm still not happy about you running away from home. We're both going to be in a lot of trouble."

"No entiendo. Deberiamos entrar en la cueva magica con este collar especial."

Cynthia let go, pacing the floor. "You still need to get back to your father, even if he is a drunk. ¡Ir a casa! I can't just...kidnap you!"

She asked Araceli for her number, but the girl said they couldn't afford a phone. "Of course you can't afford a phone! Why make anything easy?"

Cynthia crossed her arms, frowning at the darkened windows. "As much as I hate to do this, I'm not hinting down your Dad in the dark..."

She made up Hammond's queen bed for her to sleep on, preparing the couch for herself, but the little girl wouldn't sleep. Instead, she played pinball, put Zager and Evans' In the Year 2525 on the record player, then, when we told her we could only watch DVD's, she fixed the VCR, and we popped in The Last Unicorn.

During dinner, Heffalump had witnessed Cynthia eating salad. It seemed he had never witnessed dressed leaves and carrots, for when the movie started, he requested a bottle of Ranch.

Cynthia gave him a bowl of salad, but he took it out the back door, muttering something about it being a small portion, and he could add some of the big prehistoric leaves from the yard.

"Watch out for Velociraptors!" Cynthia called. "¡Cuidado con los Velocirators!"

When we got to the scene in the movie about the drunken skeleton, Heffalump came in and said he didn't care for the taste of Ranch. Cynthia gave him a couple other bottles, and he ate contentedly there for awhile. Webby wanted to try the stuff too, so I went out to supervise.

Seemed to be a hit. Also, no sign of Moriarty and the other raptors.

I glanced back into the house. Araceli had the weird notebook from the ruins opened up on the kitchen counter, reading passages aloud, pointing to various things.

According to the notebook, Hernan Cortez had secret literature about a lost golden treasure hidden in our general vicinity.

"Well look at you, child genius! How'd you get so smart?"

I could hear all this due to the broken window.

Araceli discovered a folded up map in the back of the notebook, showing Cynthia our location.

"You telling me you came through this?"

"Sí, va debajo de la isla. El tunel termina aquí."

"Guess that explains how Zelda caught up with us...and why I see Dilophosaur goop stuck to the pinball machine and couch...We should have fixed that window."

Araceli pointed toward the cavern. "¡Busquemos el oro!"

"No, no. No Goonies bullshit tonight, kid. Let's wait until it's daylight, and we can—"

The girl rushed to a couch, pulling a second pendant out from between the cushions. She brought it up to the counter, pointing with excitement at the notes.

"Yeah...I see that. You were playing with that during the movie. I think Cassie must have dropped it. So it's a matching set, with mystical powers or something?"

Araceli turned the map around, stabbing a spot with her finger. "¡Aquí! Posiblimente...abre la puerta piedra."

"A stone door?"

Nodding, the girl snatched up the notebook and map, racing down into the wine cellar.

"Hey! I said not tonight! ¡Mañana! ¡No esta noche!"

Araceli was already gone.

"Dammit, kid!"

Of course we had to follow her.