He heard his phone ring from the stack of his clothes, but Zack was still in the shower, cleaning up the dirt and grime that was still on him from today's events. He let the hot water run over his head and body until every piece of his body was burning. Turning off the water, he leaned against the cold wall and stared into the glaring lamp in the center of the tiny room outfitted with a shower.
The puddles on the floor started drying while Zack was lost in thought for several minutes. He jumped when his phone suddenly rang again. He pushed himself off the wall and hurried out of the shower. He dug his hands into the pile of clothes, looking for his phone.
It was Aerith again. He picked up and spoke into the phone: "Hey, what's up?" Aerith responded: "Nothing much. I had a visitor earlier, but he stayed only for a few minutes. What are you up to?" Zack swallowed hard and looked down at the pile of soiled clothes on the floor. "I've, uh, been cleaning up." His eyes fell on his free hand that had just a few second ago had touched his bloody uniform. Angeal's blood was on his hand again. Spilling the blood of a friend by one's own hands, both literally and figuratively, must be one of the worst things a person can experience in life. The ones to blame for such barbarism should probably be ashamed of themselves. But who could be blamed if this friend was so desperate that they saw no way forward in life and other way to go, except by his own friend's hand? Sour bile rose in Zack's throat, making him swallow again. His eyes stung as more tears came to his eyes.
"How does it feel?", she asked. "What?" His voice broke as he sniffed loudly. After a short pause, Aerith reiterated: "How do you feel?" Tears streamed down his face as he could no longer contain himself. He put down his phone by the sink, turned around and spit into the toilet bowl. When nothing more came out, he remained kneeling next to it for a moment longer, breathing heavily. He got up mechanically and turned to the sink.
He turned on the water at the hottest temperature and started scrubbing his hands frantically with soap, a task that was made difficult by tears clouding his vision He kept cleansing his hands until his knuckles started bleeding and rinsed his mouth several times to get rid of the sour tang. It took him several minutes to finish all of this, and by the time he could no longer notice even a trace of blood on his hands, he expected Aerith to have hung up in the meantime. Turning back toward his phone, he picked it up when a friendly "Helloooo?" came out of the speaker.
She was still on the phone, surprisingly. He held the phone to his ear and returned with a shaky voice: "Uh, hello. Sorry." She asked: "What happened?" He scratched his head. "I, uh…. I knocked something over." She gasped and said exaggeratedly: "Oh no, now you have to clean up again?" The SOLDIER looked at his hand again. "No, I'm actually… I'm already done." - "Oh, you cleaned up right away? Good job, Zack!", she praised him, and all he could muster as a response was a weak "Yeah…".
"So, what are you going to do now?", Aerith wanted to know again. He turned toward the bathroom door, careful not to touch the bloody uniform again. Even just looking at it was unbearable for him now. He walked over to his bed, still naked. "I think I need a break", he finally said as he reached it. Just a moment before he laid down, he realized that he had been on the bed with his bloody uniform. He was glad to have noticed, although he would rather not have to deal with that kind of thing at that time.
"Is it something I said?", Aerith responded. "What?", Zack returned, shaking his head in confusion while he pulled the blanket off the bed while trying to hold the phone to his ear. "You said you wanted to take a break." Zack breathed in sharply, realizing what she meant. "Ooh, no no, that's not what I meant!" He laid down on the bed. "I meant I need to rest." Why would she think that he wanted to break off their relationship? He was beginning to think that Aerith's reactions started to sound increasingly fake. Naturally, he did not actually know that Aerith was forcing herself to keep calling him because she thought the distraction would help him. But her behavior seemed so out of character for her that he knew something was up. "Oh, so that's what you meant! I thought something was wrong because you didn't take my calls."
Zack sighed. Yeah, right. He finally confronted her: "How did you know?" Aerith did not respond for a moment and then explained: "Tseng came over earlier and told me something bad happened." Zack closed his eyes. Remembering something Tseng had told him a few weeks ago, he asked: "Sounds like you met him before." It still mystified him why the Turks were observing Aerith, but he was even more intrigued to realize that Aerith was apparently so well-acquainted with Tseng that he could casually "come over" and she dropped his name not only as if she knew him well, but also realized that Zack knew the Turk by name as well.
Aerith remained silent. Tseng had told him he would not say why she was being observed unless Aerith were to tell something herself. That made him realize that the Turks not only protected Shinra's secrets, but that Aerith was apparently important enough for them that her own secrets were worth protecting even from other company employees. But he was even more disappointed that she herself would not tell him anything although he believed that he could accept pretty much anything about Aerith. He could also accept not knowing everything, but at this point he felt like he was being lied to, not just by Tseng, but also by Aerith herself. And dishonesty was something he could not stand.
He sighed again. "Don't bother." He hung up before she could say anything else and put the phone by his side. It rang immediately, and obviously, it was Aerith again. He picked up the phone, hung up the call and turned it on auto hang-up to keep it to keep it from ringing. He simply could not deal with her right now.
He remembered that he had seen a message from Kunsel earlier. It was probably nothing important, but Kunsel usually helped him with all sorts of things, so he just wanted to check what was up. He briefly scanned over the message, which confirmed that Kunsel was just catching up after he had been away on a longer mission over the past week. At this point, he had probably received news or heard the rumors of what had happened in Modeoheim, so he would not be too surprised not to hear from Zack immediately. "Talk to you later", Zack responded in text, just to let him know that he was OK. But he really had no mind to give him a longer answer at this point. He knew Kunsel understood that life was simply difficult for a SOLDIER sometimes and that he could not always be happy-go-lucky, no matter how hard he tried. To date, it had never occurred to him that perhaps he was trying too hard.
Just as he sent the message to Kunsel, a new text came in from Tseng. "Do you need anything?" Zack usually appreciated his messages that were always short and straight-to-the-point because this brief and direct style of communication made it easy to understand what was expected of him. Just today, it simply infuriated him. It was as if the Turk did not care at all that his friend just died, cold-heartedly sedated him when it was convenient and met with his girlfriend behind his back, and then simply pretended that nothing was wrong.
"No", he typed. Staring at his response for a few seconds, he deleted the word again and typed: "I need you to leave Aerith alone." He sent the message. It took only a few seconds for his phone to beep again. "I'm just following orders. I'll check up on you later", said his curt response. As Zack was reading it, his phone beeped again. "It's strictly professional", the next message from Tseng added. Another lie? Tseng would never ever justify himself for following orders. And to assure Zack that their relationship was "strictly professional" convinced Zack that there was more going on. Because why else would Tseng even think of that? Zack stared at his phone, unsure if any response was warranted or if he even wanted to continue the conversation when his phone beeped a third time. "I just thought it would be good for you to talk to her. The company needs you back on track ASAP".
For a split second, Zack was led to believe that Tseng actually cared a little. If not for Zack, then perhaps for Aerith. But it really was all just for the company. Irritated, Zack turned off his phone completely and put it on the bedside table. He curled up, only now realizing for the first time how cold his room was. He slid off the bed and separated the blanket from the covers, leaving the sheets in an untidy heap on the floor. Wrapping the clean blanket around himself, he laid back on his bed and closed his eyes.