Zack VIII: Gratitude

Zack ran along the dusty road of the Sector 5 slums toward Aerith's house. He had not slept much last night, his thoughts constantly going in circles about Angeal and Aerith and never finding rest. He put on his uniform and left the SOLDIER quarters as soon as the curfew ended at 6 and made his way on the train to the slums.

He had wanted to talk to her the night before, but he had never been good at expressing his feelings through words, and he had his grief get the best of him. He had not been allowed out yesterday, but today, nothing would stop him from seeing her.

He reached the house and knocked at the door. He hoped that Aerith' mother was already out. He had been to Aerith' house only once before, and his first meeting with her mother had been very awkward. She disapproved of Aerith being together with a Shinra employee, and although she had given her best to be polite, Zack could feel that she wished something else for her daughter.

A few anxious moments later, he heard Elmyra's voice from inside: "Who's there?". Zack cleared his throat and answered: "It's Zack!" When no reaction came from inside, he added: "Aerith'… umm… friend". It felt strange to describe himself like that, but perhaps that would put her mother more at ease.

The lock clicked as she unlocked the door and let him in. He stepped inside nervously. She looked at him, puzzled. "You have some nerves, showing up here after what you did yesterday." Zack scratched his head. "I'm sorry. I just want to talk to her and clear things up."

"Aerith is still sleeping", she said as she turned back to her housework. Zack stared at her, perplexed. "Thanks", he mumbled as he stepped into the dark staircase to the upper floor. "First door on the left. Leave the door open!", she called after him. "Will do!", he called back as he ran up the stairs.

Stepping over the creaking floorboards, he reached the door to Aerith' room. Although he had never been on the upper floor before, he could tell it was Aerith' room by the amount of dried flowers decorating the door. He stopped at the door and rubbed the back of his head. He had not prepared anything to say. He knew that he wanted to see her, but he had no idea what to do, now that he was here.

As he stood there, quiet footsteps were heard from inside. Aerith cracked the door open and looked outside. So she was awake! "Umm… good morning!", Zack greeted her nervously. She opened the door a little more and stuck out her head. Her long, brown hair was unkempt, her pupils dilated and her eyes dry and reddened.

"Good morning, Zack", she said cheerfully. No matter how many times he met her, he just could not get over how beautiful she was with her curly auburn hair framing her heart-shape face, from which large green eyes twinkled at him. He suppressed the urge to look away, flustered and stuttered: "I-I'm sorry for yesterday. I made a mistake."

She looked up at him for a second and then stepped back to open the door completely. "Wanna come in?" Zack froze. "Is that OK?" She nodded. "Don't worry about it" Stepping back, she allowed Zack to enter as he looked around. Aerith room barely fit a bed, a table and a chair, but the wall sported a large window, curtains drawn close completely. Pretty much all the inhabited areas under the plate were lit brightly, night and day. Aerith' house was close to the edge of the plate, so she got more actual daylight than other people. But he was unsure which way the window was facing anyway.

He looked at Aerith' back as she slid past the table back to her bed. She was wearing a pink pajama that had been darned in several places and adorned with small flower decorations. She sat down on her bed, legs crossed and started straightening her hair with her hands as Zack was leaning against the door frame with his arms folded over his stomach.

She stretched out her hand towards him. "I'm not angry." Zack leaned back and looked down the hallway. Elmyra was nowhere to be seen. He pushed himself past the table through the cramped space and took Aerith' hand as he sat on the other side of the bed. "I'm really sorry. I was in a really negative mood yesterday and completely misunderstood." Aerith rocked his hand a little. "I'm sorry, too. I don't want the Turks to come here, but they just won't stay away."

Zack nodded in silence. "How are you, Zack?", she asked, squeezing his hand gently. He looked at the floor. "Everyone keeps telling me it's not my fault, but…" He let go of Aerith' and stared at his hands. "It's not only that I couldn't save him. I killed him with my own hands and I just can't get over that."

His eyes were burning. "He supported me ever since I first met him." Aerith came closer and hugged him. "He was the most positive and honest person I've ever met in my life", he said while lightly touching her arm. "He needed my help and I couldn't help him." She rested her head against the side of his. "Sephiroth said that he wanted to die." Aerith continued to hold him as he started sobbing. "Why do I not get a say in this? I feel like I can't control anything."

Aerith softly pressed her lips against his temple. "I think Angeal is extremely grateful for what you did for him."