Zack X: The weight of that sword
Content warning: Stalking
Tseng had insisted that Zack returned to his room to get Angeal's sword and use it in the mission. Zack was uncomfortable with holding the sword at all at this point. He had not even been gone for 24 hours and already, Zack was made to betray his idol's wishes, whatever he thought were his wishes. Angeal never wanted to actually use his prized heirloom, the symbol of his family's honor, unless there was a good reason to do so. "You're a little more important than a sword", Angeal had told him after getting in between Zack and a monster during one of their missions in Wutai. Would Zack know what was important enough to use this sword for?
Tseng had finally convinced Zack to go and get the sword by telling Zack that he would not even need to use it if everything went according to Tseng's plan. Yet he still kept Zack completely in the dark about the nature and purpose of this mission or what Angeal's sword had to do with it. It was not just Zack's lack of understanding that led to the following events, it was the cold calculation of Shinra's lap dog that would not hesitate to exploit a personal tragedy to manipulate someone he considered a comrade into doing something they would not otherwise do. It cannot be denied that, while Zack generally has good intentions, he is not without blame for the events that would transpire over the course of the next weeks or months. Although people like Tseng frequently argued that there is little point in refusing certain kinds of orders, because the work will be done one way or another, and it may be more beneficial for everyone involved to remain in control over the How and When the mission will be excuted, one should still question the validity of such ideas in the specific context. Who else could get Sephiroth to do something when was like that?
And so, Zack unlocked the door to his room hesitantly and stepped inside. Immediately, his glance fell on the massive sword leaning against the wall by the door. He reached out for it and the first thing he noticed was just how heavy the sword was. It was at least twice as heavy as the SOLDIER stock sword he had been using. The sheer weight of the weapon really explained why Angeal's sword strokes had such an impact, but this also gave him an idea of how physically strong Angeal must have been.
"Yeah, there's no way I can use that right now", he said to Tseng, who was waiting in the doorway. "It doesn't matter. I don't think he'll attack you anyway." Zack struggled to fix the sword to his back. "Who?", he asked. "If you get attacked, you can just use your fists like Angeal used to do", Tseng suggested instead of answering the question.
Zack turned around and complained: "Fighting is my job, but I would love to know what I'm risking my life for today." He did not feel safe without a sword he could actually use in an actual fight, but Tseng waved him off. "Fine, just bring your other sword as well, but you're not quite ready yet." Zack rolled his eyes. "I'll never be ready if you don't tell me what we're supposed to do."
Tseng waved a finger around his own face. "You hair. Can you make it like… wild?" Zack ran his fingers through his hair. "Your orders today are ridiculous. Are you sure you're OK?" Tseng rubbed his chin. "Almost perfect. May I?" Zack shrugged. Tseng closed in and started messing with his hair. "I have a girlfriend. I won't go picking up girls with you", Zack joked while rolling his eyes. Tseng chuckled. "I don't need your help to pick up girls." Then his face turned serious and he muttered something incomprehensible.
He stepped back and wiped his hands on a handkerchief. "Not perfect, but as good as it gets. Now, make sure you stand up straight." Zack straightened himself. "Slightly wider stance…", Tseng demanded. The last person who had micromanaged him to the point of dictating his stance had been Angeal, but Zack did as asked. Finally, Tseng nodded. "Ok, now follow me."
He turned around and walked ahead. "The helipad's the other way", Zack remarked as he followed the Turk and closed the door to his room. "By the way, today's your medical checkup", Tseng reminded him. Zack scratched the back of his head. "I'm pretty sure that my checkup is in two weeks." As Tseng kept walking and turned around a corner, responded: "You've been rescheduled." Then he stopped in front of a particular door. "Is Sephiroth coming, too?", Zack asked, but Tseng only curtly responded: "I hope so." He kneeled down and picked up a package from the floor that was sitting beside the entryway. He looked at the label and snarled: "I can't believe it!"
Zack had never seen the Turk lose his composure or act any other way than professional, so he was taken aback by his reaction. "That's Sephiroth's package", he reminded Tseng. "Did you know Sephiroth had a fan club?", Tseng asked. Zack waved his hand and corrected the Turk: "I think he has several. Why?" Tseng held out the package to him. The label said it was from "Chairwoman H.". Zack recognized the name. She was the head of the Silver Elite, which, Zack was embarrassed to admit, he had also recently become a member of. He had regretted joining as the information that was spread over their news feed was either completely made-up or, if true, extremely creepy and invading Sephiroth's privacy. Their feeds often contained extremely private information that could not be obtained without spying on Sephiroth from up close, including pictures taken of him within Shinra facilities. He had no idea how anyone, even if they were a Shinra employee, could even get so close to him.
"A gift from his fanclub?", he asked. Tseng took back the package and shook his head. "I'm pretty sure that's not a gift." Zack rolled his eyes again at Tseng's cryptic behavior this morning. "So what's the mission?" Tseng looked back over his shoulder. "Your stance!", he reminded the SOLDIER. After Zack assumed his stance again, Tseng slid his access card over the reader. Zack stepped up to him, grabbed the Turk's wrist and yelled at him from the side: "Hey, we can't just go in there."
But it was too late. The door slid open and revealed the gateway to Sephiroth's realm. Zack had never been in there before. He had no idea why he was here, but he knew that Sephiroth was extremely particular about his privacy and that he would not appreciate them simply walking in there. Tseng stepped aside and motioned him to go in first. Zack stared at him and simply shook his head. The Turk rolled his eyes again and hissed: "That's an order!" Zack hissed back: "What am I supposed to do?" Tseng finally lost patience and pushed him in. "Just be yourself! But watch your stance!"
Zack lightly stepped into the narrow entry and toward the opposite door. The bare walls were so close that the space was barely wider than the doorway. Behind the open door, he could see a bright room. He looked at the back of what looked like a dark blue couch. As he entered through the door, the tip of the large sword hit the metal doorframe with a loud bang. Zack flinched at the loud noise and looked around frantically.
Over the back of the couch, Sephiroth's wide-eyed face, surrounded by a mess of silver hair, appeared as he sat up with a start. His expression was frozen in shock as he stared at Zack. This scene felt familiar not only to Sephiroth. What Zack did not notice at this time was that the narrow doorframe had a dent quite far down in the bottom, made by the very same sword Zack was carrying on his back. It was made by someone frequently traversing this passage without paying much attention to what was around them because they were distracted by what lay in front of them. Sephiroth was still wearing the same robe as the night before, but he looked as if he'd been sleeping until just now as the robe was disheveled and sliding off of his wide shoulders.
Zack raised his hands in defense. "Sorry, sorry, I didn't mean to come in here uninvited, but…" As he spoke, Sephiroth's expression faded to one of sorrow. "Why do you have his sword?" Zack looked over his shoulder at the long handle of the sword. "Angeal wanted me to have it for some reason." For some reason. One may find it disappointing that Zack had so little understanding of his best friend's motivations, but on second thought, fully honoring a friend's wishes despite not understanding or being able to relate to them in their entirety was very much like Zack, and perhaps that is the reason he was given this sword.
Behind him, Tseng cleared his throat. Zack stepped aside hastily. He had completely forgotten about the Turk who had brought him here. Sephiroth's glance went back and forth between Zack and Tseng and finally rested on the Turk. "You're despicable!", the SOLDIER snarled with his face a grimace of disdain. Zack turned to Tseng in confusion. "What do you want?", Sephiroth called from behind the back of the couch as he had laid back down.
Tseng walked around the couch and his attention was caught by a bottle containing a residual of a brown liquid and an empty glass sitting on the coffee table. He picked up the glass and sniffed it before putting in back down expressionlessly. Zack followed, but stopped next to the couch, looking down at Sephiroth over the top of the couch. Sephiroth's arm was covering his eyes and his other arm was resting on his bare stomach. As Zack came into his view, Sephiroth's arm moved a little and he glanced at the young SOLDIER again from the corner of his eye.
"I have orders for you", Tseng raised his voice. Sephiroth turned his head toward the Turk and suggested: "How about I 'question' Hollander for you?" Zack raised his glance inquisitively. He had not heard that Hollander had been taken captive. But Tseng shook his head. "I would love to give you this honor, but we need to extract all possible information from him first." After a short pause, he continued: "The research department has called you in." The research department was never up to any good as far as Sephiroth was concerned. Tseng knew that as well as Sephiroth and I. And it was no coincidence that the order came now that the head of the research department deemed Sephiroth alone and isolated. Perhaps Tseng understood that and that was the real reason he asked for Zack's help that day. Perhaps he wanted to show this man that Sephiroth was not alone. He was not alone anyway. But his heart was closed, and he would not hear me until much, much later.
Zack leaned on the back of the couch. Sephiroth turned his face away from Tseng, still covering his eyes. "I refuse." Tseng folded his arms. "Sorry, this is not an order you can refuse." Sephiroth finally took his arm off of his eyes and ran his hand through his messy hair. "Well, sorry, I'm not going." Zack scratched his head. Was it really that easy for Sephiroth to refuse orders? He understood how Sephiroth felt with Angeal being gone all of a sudden, but getting a checkup was not such a big deal and there was no point in arguing about it.
"Come on, let's get our checkups over with and then we can slack off for the rest of the day", he tried to encourage Sephiroth. Sephiroth's piercing green eyes stared at Zack from below for a bit before he turned back to Tseng. "That won't work on me", he growled. Tseng looked up and asked calmly: "Would it change your mind if he was there for your safety?" Sephiroth froze for a second and then his chest and shoulders started twitching, as if he was laughing to himself without making even a single sound in a mixture of contempt and bitterness. He did that sometimes.
"Are you OK?", Zack asked. Sephiroth stopped laughing and rubbed his face with his hands as he sat up. His hair brushed Zack's underarms that were still resting on the back of the couch. He had no idea what was going on, but Tseng looked relieved. Sephiroth got up and walked toward one of the doors. "Wait here", he said and disappeared behind the door.
Zack turned to Tseng. "Seriously, what is going on?" Tseng walked back to the entrance of the apartment and picked up the package he had left beside the door. "He doesn't like going to the research department." Zack rolled his eyes. "And why does he need a protector?" Tseng placed the package on the small table in the center of the room and replied: "He doesn't." Zack looked around the room. "You're not making any sense today."
He was still in awe how much better Sephiroth's accommodations were compared to his own. The large couch Sephiroth had been on was facing a wall fitted with a large TV and a coffee table in between. On the opposite wall, there was a small kitchen and a dinner table with two chairs. Did Sephiroth cook his own food? That explained why he was never seen in the mass hall. On the fourth wall, there was a large double sword rack holding Masamune in its scabbard. The second rest was empty and looked as if it was fitted for a much wider, heavier sword. He had only ever seen Sephiroth using the incredibly long Wutai-style Masamune. Did Sephiroth own another sword?
His living arrangements seemed a little too excessive for a single person, considering that they were not even allowed to receive visitors in the SOLDIER quarters. But maybe Sephiroth got special rules in this area, too. As he was pacing around, his eyes fell on the door frame leading out. The bottom-right of the frame was dented as if it had been repeatedly hit with something.
"No, you're just particularly dense today", Tseng finally answered the question from behind him. Zack whirled around to defend himself when he realized that Tseng was about to open the package. When he folded the lid aside, he froze and his eyes widened in shock. Zack closed in on him and hissed: "What are you doing? You can't just open Sephiroth's stuff. That's private!" Tseng closed the package quickly, obscuring the contents so that Zack could not see what was inside.
Zack could hear the door opening behind him and he whirled around to see Sephiroth entering, now fully dressed in his combat gear with his hair brushed. He stopped in his track when his eyes fell on Tseng, who was staring back at him, covering the lid with both hands as if trying to keep something inside that was about to jump out and kill them.
Sephiroth's tense posture relaxed a little as he blinked and said softly: "Thanks!" Tseng nodded slowly as he turned back to the package and fixed the lid with a stray piece of tape and tucked it under his arm. "I'll have this disposed of." Sephiroth said nothing and walked toward the sword rack. Tseng looked up and said: "Leave that here. You won't need it. I'm going to send you straight back here after you get your checkup." Sephiroth ignored him, picked up Masamune and fixed it to his back so that its long handle was sticking out over his head and the tip almost reached the floor. Whenever Zack saw him like that, he wondered how Sephiroth could walk with this long sword over his back, but he had no doubt that this was just another art that the older SOLDIER had mastered over the years.
Tseng sighed and turned towards the door. "OK, let's go!" He went ahead and Zack waited for Sephiroth to follow the Turk. Zack went last, watching Sephiroth's wide back covered with long, flowing hair. As he stepped through the exit, the tip of his sword hit the doorframe again with a loud bang. Ah, the familiar sound again. Zack twitched at the loud noise and raised his hands in embarrassed defense as Sephiroth looked at him over his shoulders. His face was distorted into a smile, but simultaneously, his eyebrows were drawn together, as if he was in pain or about to cry. Why it pained me so to see him like this I did not understand at the time. It was an expression he barely ever showed to anyone, and it may be due to the trust he had in Zack that he was able to show this face to him.
The door closed behind him and they continued to walk in silence all the way to the helipad, where the helicopter Tseng had arrived in was still waiting. Tseng stopped, waited for Sephiroth to get in and pulled Zack aside. "Stay within his earshot. Even if he or someone else tells you to leave, stay with him." Zack folded his arms and looked around. "You're not going to tell me what's going on", he observed. Tseng shook his head. "I can't tell you more than that, and…" He nodded toward the helicopter. "It's all up to him." Zack's glance followed, and his eyes met with Sephiroth's for a brief moment before Sephiroth's face turned toward the opposite window of the helicopter, covered by his bangs.
Tseng climbed into the helicopter and sat diagonally from Sephiroth, whose long legs and sword used considerable amount of space. Zack climbed in, sat next to Sephiroth and closed the door.