Tseng opened his eyes and blinked the darkness away. The dim light in Sephiroth's bedroom bathed his surroundings into an unusual yellowish light that made Sephiroth's hair look almost golden. He was fast asleep, his head resting on Tseng's chest. Tseng was beginning to feel hot in his suit with Sephiroth snuggled up against him tightly. The Turk had not slept, just closed his eyes for a moment. He had not originally planned or expected to sleep here, but this was what Sephiroth had asked for, and so, Tseng did him the favor of staying to give him company as he slept. The feeling of Sephiroth's head on his chest, his arm around Sephiroth's shoulder, his hand resting on the silky, silver hair awoke memories of a past long gone and lost. They had slept side by side like this at times, back when they still went on missions together. During the nights after a young Sephiroth had been made to commit one atrocity after the other and he desperately needed a safe haven, a person to watch over him while he rested. But now, Tseng found himself unable to sleep with the SOLDIER by his side.
Careful not to wake his former comrade, he pulled out his phone from his pocket to check the time. It was 11 pm. Late, if he thought of himself as still being at work. Early, if he considered it a sleepover with the whole night ahead of him and no realistic prospect of sleep. With some dread, he realized that Rufus had not sent him his usual good night message. Tseng knew he was taking a risk by staying at Sephiroth's place this long. There was no doubt that Rufus was aware that he had entered the apartment several hours ago and not reappeared, and it did not take too much imagination to think that he would probably disapprove of his toy staying here overnight, for more than one reason. The vice president's dislike for the company's strongest combatant did not elude Tseng, although he could only guess where this disdain came from. And the antipathy appeared to be mutual, or at least mutual enough for Sephiroth, who hardly ever voiced his opinions, to speak critical about Rufus. Tseng wondered if anything could have happened between them, but even though he could not recall any such event, it was safe to assume that their acquaintance dated further back than his appointment as a Turk, and whatever there was to know about their relationship, he would only learn it from one of the two, or not at all. I, myself, do not recall a time Sephiroth was ever fond of the young successor. We were all about the same age. Perhaps Sephiroth had met Rufus even before I first came to Midgar.
Tseng lowered his phone and blinked wearily at his comrade. He wanted to go home. Sephiroth's peaceful expression was almost incentive enough for him to stay, but he was less keen on explaining to Rufus tomorrow why he had stayed over at Sephiroth's place. He slipped his phone back into his pocket to free his hand and watched Sephiroth for a moment longer, wondering if there was any way to get him off his chest without waking him. Sephiroth used to be a rather light sleeper in the past, and barely could fell asleep if he felt unsafe in an environment. But he could sleep like a baby when someone he trusted was there to watch over him, just as he was now. It may come as a surprise, but now that things had developed like this, I felt no jealousy. Although, naturally, I wanted to be the one to keep him safe as he slept, just as I used to do, I realized that their relationship was completely different, and so, there was no chance in the world that Tseng could take my place in his heart now. Quite on the contrary, I was grateful to him for allowing me to see his peaceful, sleeping face one more time. By all logic and reason, perhaps this should have been the moment I would disappear. But perhaps just seeing Sephiroth's content face for a short moment was not enough. But if it was not that, I had no idea what else needed to be done to allow me to return to the planet.
What I was not looking forward to was watching Tseng's attempt to get away. Sephiroth was laid by Tseng's side, his face resting on his chest, an arm and a leg covering his body. Even after watching it all happening, I was still surprised at how intimate they appeared to be, although just a short while ago, I thought they did not have anything to do with each other and did not even like each other. Sephiroth was so fast asleep that Tseng managed to move away his arm and free one leg before Sephiroth groaned in his sleep, reached over Tseng again and locked him in his bear hug. Sephiroth was hugging Tseng so tightly that I saw no way for Tseng to get out of that situation without waking him. Tseng sighed and rolled his eyes. But he appeared to accept his defeat and patted Sephiroth's back with his other hand. He eventually made up his mind that it was early, rather than late, and closed his eyes.
Although I knew that neither Sephiroth, nor Tseng could see me I was still hesitant most of the time to do things I would normally do, because I knew it was not my place. Not anymore. But once both of them were asleep and I was still there, I felt less scrutinized if that makes sense. Just sitting at the table with them earlier had taken a lot of courage from me because I thought I would be judged for it if anyone knew. I finally made up my mind and laid down next to Sephiroth and watched his back, slowly moving up and down as he breathed, his hair a silver mess on the blanket. I put my arm around him carefully just as I would have in my life, expecting my hand to glide through his body, just like it had with Aerith's. But as soon as my arm touched his body, he jerked around, his shining green eyes wide open. I bounced back as if struck by an electric shock and fell backwards off the bed. Pushing my head over the edge of the bed, I saw Sephiroth staring in my direction, breathing heavily and looking spooked. Did he notice me or was it just a coincidence? I lifted my hand and waved at him lightly, just in case he could see me, but he did not react.
"What's wrong?", I head Tseng's sleepy voice. Sephiroth continued to look in my direction for a few moments longer, but then tore his eyes away and turned back to Tseng. "Sorry." I stood up and walked around the bed to sit down on the floor as far away from them as possible, my legs crossed. Tseng had sat up, looking just as disheveled as Sephiroth did, and asked: "Did you have a bad dream?" Watching them looking at each other silently, almost as if neither of them had a proper explanation for why they were in this situation together, was just depressing. I knew why I was in this situation, but it was never my intention to torment those closest to me. Sephiroth looked around the room and explained hesitantly: "Sometimes, it's as if there someone else in the room." Tseng raised his eyebrows. "You mean you're being watched?" But Sephiroth shook his head and said nothing more. Tseng looked around the room and, finding nothing out of the ordinary, he said: "I'm not aware that you're under surveillance." Not more than usual, anyway.
After Sephiroth did not elaborate further, he swung his legs off the bed and continued: "I think I should go." At this point, he was beginning to regret his decision to offer this kind of help to his former comrade. Sephiroth's eyes were glued to the Turk's back. Although he looked disappointed, he was not the type to demand things from others. Even Tseng backing out all of a sudden only caused him to lower his eyes in defeat, rather than argue. The lack of an audible response from Sephiroth gave Tseng the courage to get up and readjust his tie and suit, hoping to look presentable for when he would inevitably reappear in the surveillance feed. "OK", Sephiroth muttered and got up from the bed. When he passed me on the way to the door, his eyes rested on me for a short moment. Perhaps it was just a coincidence, again, for he did not appear to be aware of my presence and continued on to follow Tseng out the door.
He said a few words of goodbye to Tseng, without bringing up his earlier request again. Even though it had been short, his blissful sleeping face from earlier was something I had really missed seeing, and there was no doubt that a few hours of deep sleep had been good for him. Although I did not like it too much that he was all of a sudden reconnecting with an old flame of his, there was no way I could ever give him this kind of peace now.
As soon as the electric door closed behind him, Tseng glanced at the security camera in the hallway, pulled out his phone and texted to Rufus: "It's not what it looks like, sir. I'll explain it tomorrow." There was no immediate response, so he put his phone away and made his way over to the helipad. There was a helicopter shuttle ready at every relevant Shinra site at all times, even late at night. Finding the helicopter dark and shut down, Tseng walked up to it and knocked at the glass window. Inside, the pilot woke with a start, gave a short salute, unlocked the door and started the engine. As soon as Tseng was seated, he jumped at the beeping of his phone. He hesitated for a moment, afraid of what his master would have to say about his late night adventures. He reassured himself that, for now, it was just a message, and nothing bad would come from reading it because the damage had already been done, possibly in more than one way. More or less succeeding at convincing himself, he glanced at the phone in his hand, where Rufus' message read: "That's good to know. I'm sure I'll sleep better tonight knowing that." Tseng closed his eyes and sighed. That was almost as bad as it could have been. Possibly. He had no idea to what was the possible extent of how angry Rufus could be, but this message sounded so resentful that Tseng had no idea how to even respond to it beyond "I'm sorry, sir", even though he had not necessarily done anything wrong by his own logic. With no further response coming, he was left all by himself with his anxiety as the helicopter took him home, which was perhaps not the place where he should have gone.