Android VS Zombie; First Half

Naruto barely had time to react before a wave of dark chakra burst from Gaara like an out-of-control geyser, blasting through the stadium with terrifying intensity. It wasn't just a surge—it was monstrous, thick and oppressive. The force of it sent Naruto flying back, her limbs flailing like a puppet on strings. She landed on her feet, wobbling slightly as she steadied herself, her head tilting mechanically to the side.

"Gaaa...yahhh!" Gaara's voice wasn't just a yell; it was a roar—primal and otherworldly, something that didn't quite belong in the realm of a mere human. The chakra seeping out of him was nothing like the usual kind you felt during a spar. No, this was something else entirely. The kind that made your skin crawl. Of course, Naruto had felt worse—there was literally a fox made of hatred inside her stomach, which she referred to as her metaphorical guts, but even she had to admit, Gaara's power was pretty massive.

The crowd, however, wasn't as used to dealing with that kind of raw energy. They gasped in unison, their collective fear spreading through the stadium like wildfire. Panic set in. People shot up from their seats, pushing and shoving each other as they scrambled to escape the arena. Mothers clutched their children, vendors left their stalls, and some guy dropped his dango in sheer terror. It was absolute chaos.

"Run!" someone shouted, their voice cracking as they bolted for the exit.

"We're all gonna die!" another screamed, their eyes wild with fear as they tripped over a row of seats.

The chunin assigned to guard the civilians immediately jumped into action, trying their best to calm the crowd. "Stay calm! Stay in your seats! We'll handle this!" one of them yelled, arms flailing as he tried to direct people to safety.

But no one was listening. Not a soul. Everyone had hit full-on panic mode. It was like a stampede at a rock concert, but way less fun. And just when things looked like things couldn't get any worse—

White feathers started to drift down from the sky, slow and gentle like snowflakes. The chaos in the stands seemed to freeze as an eerie calm washed over the arena. The civilians blinked drowsily, their movements sluggish as they yawned. In mere moments, they all collapsed—slumped over in their seats, on the stairs, and even on each other. Asleep. Completely unconscious.

The genins weren't spared either. One by one, they fell into deep slumber, except for a few notable exceptions. Team Seven remained standing—Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura still wide awake. Shino was there too, adjusting his sunglasses like nothing fazed him. As for Shikamaru? He lay on the ground pretending to be unconscious because, well, avoiding work was his number one priority.

Meanwhile, up in the gallery, the Jōnin, ANBU, and the Kages were unaffected. Genma's gaze shifted from the sleeping civilians to the battlefield. His eyes narrowed, and his voice dropped to a grave tone. "The Hidden Sand has turned against us. And it looks like they've teamed up with Orochimaru and the Hidden Sound."

Explosions echoed from outside the stadium, shaking the ground beneath their feet. The roars of battle followed, signaling that the invasion had begun. Shinobi from the shadows sprang into action, attacking the Leaf shinobi on sight. The war had started.

Naruto, however, seemed unfazed by the chaos around her. She was cracking her wooden joints, making loud, unsettling pops that echoed through the silence. "As the future Hokage, I must protect this village," she declared, her voice robotic, her posture stiff. She then raised her arms, which made another series of grotesque, creaky noises as she prepared to leap toward the oncoming enemies.

But before she could even get her feet off the ground, a very familiar, very irritating voice buzzed in her head, startling her.

-Hidden Leaf Village is under siege. the voice said, flat and emotionless. Bitch spoke. One hundred percent access to all skills, knowledge, and jutsu playlists granted.

Naruto's eyes widened in shock. After all this time of dealing with a broken AI system, Bitch was actually functioning? Giving her access to all the cool powers she'd always wanted? This was a miracle!

She waited, bracing herself for the sudden rush of information—the knowledge and skills she desperately needed. But... nothing happened. No surge of power. No instant understanding of complex techniques. Nothing.

-Process failed. Bitch added flatly.

Naruto blinked, her mechanical voice dripping with disappointment. "Huh?"

It appears that your fight with 'a fellow Leaf Shinobi' one month ago has damaged the sealing diagrams inside 2B's body, Bitch continued. Therefore, I—

"You're useless," Naruto cut her off, irritation creeping into her usually monotone voice. "Fine, I'll do it myself."

-Understood. Bitch replied, completely unaffected by the insult.

Naruto sighed dramatically, her glowing blue eyes shifting toward the roof where the Old Man Hokage—Sarutobi Hiruzen himself—was locked in battle with a suspiciously familiar-looking figure inside a giant, glowing, transparent purple cube. The guy he was fighting looked… weird. But, hey, so did a lot of things in Naruto's life at this point.

"I need to help the Old Man," Naruto muttered to herself, clenching her fists with determination. "Without someone as skilled as me, he's hopeless."

Genma, who was standing beside her, raised an eyebrow and pulled the senbon from his mouth. "He's the Hokage for a reason. He'll be fine. You, however…"

"But he is easily defeated by my Sexy Jutsu." Naruto argued. "He's weak. And a pervert."

"Ugh. Great, now I am having stupid images in my mind. Just… forget it." He pulled out the senbon from his mouth as he gazed at the three figures landing beside Gaara to protect him— Baki, Temari and Kankurou. His gaze flicked toward Gaara, who was… well, transforming. Into what appeared to be a giant raccoon. Or maybe a tanuki? Honestly, it was hard to tell.

Naruto tilted her head, her glowing eyes unblinking as she observed Gaara's transformation. "Cool," she said flatly

"Naruto Uzumaki, you are to subdue Gaara and aid others thereafter." Genma knew she was just a genin and had some… okay- a lot of screws loose on her head, but she was supposed to be really strong, dangerous and unpredictable. "Meanwhile, I'll take care of these Sand Shinobi. Am I clear?"

Naruto saluted awkwardly, her arm movements stiff and unnatural. "Dattebayo!" she chirped.

Genma pinched the bridge of his nose. "I'll take that as a 'yes'..."

With that, Naruto turned her attention back to Gaara, her body shifting into an aggressive stance. Her legs bent slightly, her hands out in front of her like she was about to tackle a particularly challenging obstacle course.

She leaped toward Gaara, a Rasengan already forming in her hand, glowing brightly like a miniature sun.

Naruto charged toward Gaara with her golden Rasengan in hand, determined to land a hit, but the sand walls this time were thicker, denser, and as hard as granite. The golden chakra orb fizzled out upon contact, barely making a dent in the unyielding barrier. Gaara—no, it wasn't just Gaara anymore, was it? It was Ichibi now, or at least something close to it. His chakra had become wild, violent, and untamable, swirling around him like a malevolent storm.

Naruto barely dodged as a violent whip of sand lashed out at her, cracking the ground where she had stood. She leaped into the air, flipping awkwardly but somehow managing to evade the attacks, looking almost like a wind-up toy with her stiff movements.

"Alright, I see how it is," she muttered to herself, her glowing sapphire eyes narrowing. She ran through a series of hand signs, determined to try something new. "Water Style: Water Bullets!"

She puffed out her cheeks and spat a small stream of water, expecting something dramatic—deadly, even. But instead of the torrent she envisioned, a weak spray dribbled from her lips, barely reaching a foot in front of her. It was like a glorified spit-take.

Naruto's mechanical head swiveled to look at the nearest spectator, who was gawking at her with disbelief. She straightened herself up and gave a stiff, confident nod. "Yep, exactly as planned! You see, that was just a warm-up. Gotta test the wind resistance first. Yeah… everything's going according to my master plan."

The spectator blinked. "Uh… sure."

Ignoring her embarrassing water fiasco, Naruto reset, determination etched across her expressionless face. She ran through the hand signs again—this time, with a lot more urgency. "Water Style: Water Bullets!"

This time, a volley of bullet-like streams shot from her mouth, each one moving at blinding speed. Her head jerked back and forth with each blast, shaking like a marionette controlled by a hyperactive puppeteer. The blasts were powerful, sure, but Naruto's stiff posture made the whole thing look bizarrely comedic—like a firehose barely contained.

Gaara's sand rose up in defense, shielding him from the watery onslaught. But the Ichibi chakra swirling around him was only growing stronger by the second.

Naruto, never one to back down, decided it was time for her ultimate move. With a confident, robotic tilt of her head, she summoned a hundred shadow clones, each one forming a Rasengan in hand. The sheer volume of golden chakra orbs spinning in the arena cast an eerie glow over the battlefield.

"Behold!" all the Narutos said in perfect synchronization, their voices echoing grandly. "This is my new ultimate technique. Completely original!"

Gaara roared, the beast within him seemingly in full control now, as he lunged at the real Naruto, sand swirling and clawing in his wake.

But before Gaara could reach her, the Narutos charged, their Rasengans growing to absurd sizes—big enough to rival the heads of the Hokages carved into the mountain.

"Massive Rasengan Barrage!"

A series of golden lights erupted from the Rasengans as they collided with Gaara's sand barrier. Each explosion of chakra sent shockwaves through the arena, forcing everyone to shield their eyes from the blinding light. The sheer intensity of the attack momentarily paused all the fighting in the stadium.

Even Orochimaru, who was locked in battle with the Third Hokage, squinted through the golden glow, his snake-like eyes narrowing. "That brat…"

Meanwhile, atop the gallery, Hiruzen Sarutobi, the Third Hokage, stood firm in his black battle attire, facing off against Orochimaru. Despite the chaos, the old man's voice rang out with wisdom and conviction. "The Will of Fire burns strong, Orochimaru. It is the source of the village's strength. As long as it exists, Konoha will never fall."

Orochimaru sneered, his tongue flicking out in distaste. "The Will of Fire is nothing more than a fairytale, Sarutobi. An illusion you cling to."

"A fairy indeed," Hiruzen nodded sagely. "But one that grants strength beyond anything you can understand."

Just then, the blinding golden light from Naruto's barrage began to fade, revealing a heavily battered Gaara. But that wasn't what caught Orochimaru's attention. His lip curled in a mix of amusement and disgust as his gaze shifted to Naruto, standing over Gaara's half-transformed, semi-conscious body.

"Does the 'Will of Fire' also say the fairy should be naked?" Orochimaru spat with a mocking grin.

Hiruzen frowned, his eyes scanning the battlefield until they landed on Naruto. His eyes widened in absolute horror.

There she was—Naruto Uzumaki, standing tall over the half-dead Ichibi Jinchuriki, lecturing Gaara with all the seriousness in the world… and completely naked.

"So that's why she couldn't wear anything other than that frilly black dress…" Hiruzen muttered, his eyes still wide. "The dress she was wearing earlier was not meant to endure such destructive power…"

Naruto, of course, was blissfully unaware of her wardrobe malfunction as she struck what she thought was a 'cool' pose. Her mechanical voice came out in an authoritative monotone, "You see, Gaara, the secret to my strength is simple."

Gaara, bloodied and beaten, groaned in confusion. "Why are you… so strong?"

Naruto tilted her head mechanically, her glowing blue eyes staring unblinkingly at him. "Because," she said, "I'm too cool for my own good. Dattebayo."

"C-cool…?"

"Indeed," Naruto continued, her voice devoid of emotion but still somehow managing to sound like she was delivering the most profound wisdom. "In order to protect others, you must be cool. And with great coolness, comes great power."

Gaara blinked through the pain, trying to process what she was saying. "But… why do you fight for them?" he asked, his voice weak.

Naruto's head shifted slightly, her voice still completely deadpan. "These people, most of whom are clearly beneath me, need my guidance. That's why I must protect them."

Gaara's sand trembled slightly as he stared at her in disbelief. "I… see."

"If you stay alone all the time, killing people and being a general creep, you'll never be happy," Naruto added, as if that were the most obvious thing in the world.

Gaara's eyes flickered with something close to understanding. "I… understand."

"Good for you. Dattebayo," Naruto said, already turning on her heel, ready to leap away.

"Wait!" Gaara called out, his voice strained. "Why are you—"

But before he could finish, Naruto had already vanished, leaving Gaara lying there in a mix of confusion and, oddly enough, motivation.

Naruto landed lightly on the rooftop of the gallery, where some enemy ninja were nervously approaching her. Their faces were flushed, though Naruto assumed it was due to fear. Must be her overwhelming coolness.

With a few stiff, robotic taijutsu attacks, she dispatched the enemies with ease. They dropped to the ground, unconscious, but strangely enough, each of them had nosebleeds.

Naruto tilted her head again, looking at them curiously. "I didn't even touch their noses. Why are they having nosebleeds?" She shrugged, chalking it up to yet another weird thing she didn't need to understand.

Then, with determination in her glowing eyes, she approached one of the four ninja holding the purple chakra cube. Without hesitation, she kicked him hard in the neck, and the entire structure shattered like glass.

Inside, Orochimaru's eyes widened in shock as he saw her. His scowl deepened as he yelled, "Summoning: Reanimation!"

Three coffins began to rise from the ground, but Hiruzen, quick on his feet, managed to attack the third one, sending it crashing back into the earth before it could open.

The lids of the other two coffins creaked open, and two figures stepped out. One was clad in red armor, the other in blue. Both wore expressions of bewilderment.

"Brother," the one in red muttered, rubbing his forehead. "I thought I was dead."

"Same here," the one in blue replied. "This appears to be my own reanimation jutsu…"

Hiruzen's face darkened as he recognized them. "Orochimaru… what have you done?"

"Saru—"

"Oooh, Zombies, awesome." Naruto grinned slightly.

The one in blue, his eyes sharp and calculating, glanced around before his gaze fell on Naruto. His eyes widened slightly in surprise. "2B?!"

Naruto, unfazed, struck a dramatic pose, her voice monotone as always. "Naruto Uzumaki, future Hokage. Dattebayo."

The one in red blinked at her, then glanced over to his brother. "An Uzumaki, eh?" He grinned before his expression shifted into one of deep concern. He sighed heavily. "Is this some kind of new generation fashion?"

"Huh?"

The man in red pointed at her with a serious expression. "Why are you butt-naked, child?"

Naruto blinked once. Then twice. And then again, a bit slower, as if she was waiting for her brain to catch up with the situation. She quickly glanced down, and sure enough, she was completely, undeniably, and most horrifyingly butt-naked. The panic set in fast and hard. Her hands darted to cover herself, one across her chest and the other awkwardly cupping between her legs. She bent her knees slightly, trying to fold herself like some kind of weird, stiff pretzel, but it only made her look more ridiculous. She wiggled her thighs together, hoping that might help, but it didn't. Nothing helped.

"DATTEBAYO!" she muttered in disbelief, her face… blackening…? Uh… flushing with ink for probably the first time in her android life. A cold breeze she hadn't noticed before brushed against her exposed skin, and that was it—her body tensed like a spring. This was a full-blown crisis.

Thinking quickly—or as quickly as her brain allowed—Naruto made the hand signs with lightning speed and puffed out a dozen shadow clones. "There! Fixed!" she thought, relieved. Except... they were all naked too.

All the Narutos stared at each other in wide-eyed horror for a split second before they all erupted into synchronized, robotic screams. "Waaaaaahhh!"

The stadium echoed with the sound of a dozen robotic Narutos flailing in naked panic, their arms and legs flapping like malfunctioning wind-up toys. One clone tried to cover another clone, but that just made things worse because no one was covered, and it became this weird, naked human pyramid situation that was both completely useless and tragically hilarious.

Orochimaru, standing off to the side, was slowly losing his mind. His left eye twitched. "Will someone please shut her up?" he hissed through clenched teeth.

Meanwhile, the reanimated Hokages were looking on in total confusion. Hashirama, the one with the long, flowing brown hair, tilted his head to the side like a curious puppy. "Tobirama," he muttered to his brother, "is she your grandchild or something? She kinda has your hair…"

Tobirama, the grumpy-looking white-haired brother, furrowed his brow. "That is my hair. I made 2B with a lot of things," he mumbled under his breath before faking a loud, deliberate cough. He straightened up, trying to regain his stern composure. "Ahem. It appears some crazy Uzumaki got 2B, at least they are better than the Uchiha. Anyways, back to business." His eyes shifted back to Orochimaru, clearly eager to move on. "What do you want?"

"I want this brat to shut up and obey me!" Orochimaru snapped, finally losing his patience. He quickly formed a hand sign, his frustration bubbling over. "Make her obey me!"

"Wait—!" Tobirama started, but it was too late. His eyes clouded over, and his hands weaved through the necessary hand signs with robotic precision. His movements were stiff and jerky, just like Naruto's.

Naruto, still tangled in her mess of naked clones, blinked in confusion. Hashirama, who was still trying to figure out what was happening, just scratched his head. Hiruzen, however, looked like he was about to have a heart attack.

Tobirama pointed his hand straight at Naruto and barked, "Seal!"

For a moment, there was total silence. Naruto, her clones, and everyone else just froze in place. For a moment, she forgot that she was naked. A tumbleweed practically rolled by.

Naruto glanced behind her, her stiff body still locked in that awkward, half-covered position, and then she cocked her head, genuinely perplexed. "Dattebayo?"

Orochimaru's eye twitched again. "Great," he muttered sarcastically. "Naruto Uzumaki, kill the Sandaime!"

Naruto blinked. Then, in a flash, she vanished from her spot, moving so fast it was like she hadn't even been there. She reappeared directly behind Hiruzen, the Third Hokage. Hiruzen tensed, his battle-hardened reflexes kicking in as he prepared to dodge the incoming attack, ready to defend himself.

But instead of an attack, all he got was a stiff, robotic "Boo," whispered awkwardly into his ear.

The whole arena fell into a deep, collective confusion. Orochimaru, the Hokages, the ANBU—everyone just stared at Naruto, their faces a mix of bewilderment and disbelief.

Naruto blinked slowly, her robotic expression never changing. "Hmm," she thought to herself. "I guess that joke wasn't good enough."

Orochimaru finally snapped, his voice shrill and full of fury. "Why isn't she listening to me?! Why isn't she killing him?!"

Naruto suddenly jerked into motion, moving like an actor in a bad high school play. She took a stiff step forward and swung her arm in a wide, exaggerated arc, missing Hiruzen by a mile. Her head twisted in jerky, mechanical movements, and she let out an awkward, monotone "Hiyah!" as she kicked the air about three feet to the left of where anyone was standing.

She started doing a weird, interpretive dance, flailing her arms dramatically, rolling her head around, and spinning in slow, awkward circles. Her naked clones, still gathered around, tried to copy her but were equally terrible at it. They all looked like malfunctioning robots trying to do taijutsu practise in zero gravity.

Hashirama, watching the spectacle, suddenly burst into deep, uncontrollable laughter. He doubled over, clutching his sides, tears streaming down his face. "She's— she's got a good sense of humor!" he wheezed, barely able to breathe between his guffaws.

Naruto stopped her odd performance for a moment, striking a 'cool' pose. "I aim to be Hokage after all. Dattebayo."

Hashirama, still laughing, nodded his head enthusiastically. "I bet you can be a great one!"

"I'll be the greatest Hokage, old man," Naruto replied, her robotic voice somehow managing to sound both confident and monotone at the same time.

Orochimaru's patience, already paper-thin, finally snapped. His face twisted in rage, his snake-like features contorting as he screamed at the top of his lungs. "Enough of this! Kill them! Kill them all!"

Without hesitation, Orochimaru formed another hand sign, and Hashirama's eyes went completely black. This time, he wasn't going to make the same mistake. He wasn't playing around anymore.

"Kill them all!" Orochimaru shrieked, his voice echoing through the arena. "All of them!"

As if on cue, both Hashirama and Tobirama snapped into action, their bodies moving like perfectly controlled marionettes. They began marching forward in unison, their eyes locked onto Hiruzen and Naruto.

The reanimated Hokages advanced with grim determination, their steps heavy and deliberate. Hiruzen braced himself, his face hardening as he prepared for the inevitable clash.

Naruto, for her part, just stood there. Still naked, still flanked by her naked clones, still not entirely sure what was going on.

The battle was about to begin.

And somewhere, in the back of Naruto's robotic mind, a single thought floated to the surface: "Maybe I should've worn that stupid black dress today. That Bastard's clan storage clothes are too low quality…"

Just as Naruto stood there, still trying to process the fact that she was about to fight the zombie Hokages while completely naked—and also trying to figure out exactly how her life had reached this absurd point—a sudden blur of motion caught her eye. In an instant, before she could even react, a white cloak was draped over her shoulders.

Naruto blinked, staring down at the loose ANBU cloak that now covered her body. It was long, flowing, and way too big, but it was clothes, and that was all that mattered right now. Her brain took a moment to catch up with what just happened. "Uh… Neko-san, your kindness is… um… most appreciated. Dattebayo."

She looked up at the source of the sudden rescue—none other than an ANBU operative with a cat mask and striking purple hair. The mysterious figure stood silently, her expression impossible to read behind the emotionless mask. It was a little unnerving, actually. Naruto was used to people looking at her funny or outright ignoring her, but this was different. The mask didn't budge, not even a hint of reaction. No eye-roll, no head-shake, no sigh of exasperation—just... blankness.

Naruto, who normally prided herself on being the master of deadpan expressions, actually felt a little creeped out. "Uh…" she mumbled, her usual bravado faltering for a second under the weight of the awkwardness.

Before Naruto could say anything else, the ANBU operative, Neko-san, disappeared in a blur of motion—reappearing just as quickly behind the Third Hokage, taking her position to guard the old man as if nothing had just happened.

Naruto blinked again. "Well, that's not unsettling at all…"

But there was no time to dwell on it. The air suddenly felt thicker, charged with the unmistakable weight of approaching battle. Naruto could feel it, that gut instinct that something big was coming.

And sure enough, the reanimated Hokages were on the move.

Tobirama, eyes black and lifeless, led the charge, his face set in an expression of cold determination. Hashirama followed, though there was something almost… apologetic in the way he moved, like he was marching to a fight he didn't really want to be part of.

But whether they wanted it or not, the fight was coming.

Naruto tightened the cloak around her shoulders, trying to mentally prepare herself for the chaos that was about to unfold. She glanced over at Hiruzen, who stood firm, his old battle-hardened face set in grim resolve. This was no joke. This was a fight for survival.

"Alright, you two ancient zombie dudes…" Naruto muttered under her breath as she crouched slightly, readying herself to move. "Let's see how cool I really am. Dattebayo."

And with that, the Hokages charged.

TBC

Author Note: I hope you liked this chapter.

Look forward to the next chapter. Drop your thoughts in the review section.

Till next time!