Android in the Land of Snow: I

An Android Meets An Actress

Naruto, as usual, was doing the impossible—and the annoying—while glued to the ceiling like a bizarre, frilly-dressed bat. Her toad-printed vest peeked from the hem of her overly elaborate black dress, which didn't exactly scream "stealth" in the dim theatre. She loudly crunched on popcorn, scattering crumbs onto the unlucky moviegoers below. Her glowing sapphire eyes never wavered from the big screen as Yukie Fujikaze dramatically delivered her lines, the scene building to what was clearly meant to be an emotional crescendo.

"Bah," Naruto declared stiffly, her robotic monotone cutting through the tension like a kunai to the gut. "Unrealistic. A real princess would never cry like that. I would have delivered it… perfectly. Dattebayo."

Lee, hanging upside down next to her, clapped a hand over his face, muffling a long-suffering groan. "Naruto-chan, perhaps you could whisper instead of shouting your… insightful critiques?"

"She could whisper, but she won't," muttered Sasuke from the opposite side of the ceiling, arms crossed, his Uchiha patience worn dangerously thin. "Because she's… her."

Sakura, squished uncomfortably between Sasuke and Naruto, sighed. "Naruto, do you have to be so loud? People are—"

"Ugh, look at that sloppy sword grip!" Naruto interrupted, pointing at the screen with her gloved hand, a piece of popcorn perched precariously on her finger. "Absolutely no technique. Amateur. I'd have done it… flawlessly. Dattebayo."

As if the universe had finally had enough, a flying sandal whizzed through the air from the back rows. Without so much as glancing away from the screen, Naruto caught it mid-throw, her movements unnervingly smooth and precise, like she had eyes on the back of her white, bob-cut head. "A sandal?" she remarked flatly. "Pitiful weapon choice. Wouldn't stand a chance against my glorious combat skills."

She threw it back with such force that it ricocheted off three seats and landed squarely on the culprit's lap. The theatre erupted into murmured outrage, but Naruto seemed oblivious, leaning forward with eerie intensity as she shoved another handful of popcorn into her mouth.

"How dare they?" Sakura hissed under her breath, glancing nervously at the audience below.

Sasuke sighed, clearly calculating how much of his dignity had already been sacrificed by simply being there. "Let's just watch the movie. Quietly."

Unfortunately, fate—or Naruto—had other plans. The manager stormed into the theatre, his face red with fury. He squinted upward, his gaze locking onto the unusual ceiling crew. "Hey! You up there! This isn't a circus act! Get down right now!"

Naruto, unbothered, pointed at the screen. "I am performing an essential public service. Dattebayo. Critiquing flaws is necessary to improve the arts."

The manager looked moments away from bursting a blood vessel. "Get. Down. NOW!"

Sasuke, always the reluctant problem-solver, calmly reached into his pocket and pulled out four tickets, holding them out. "We paid for these seats."

The manager swatted the air dismissively, his frustration boiling over. "I don't care if you paid in gold! You're disrupting everyone and hanging upside down like—like—like freaks!"

Naruto blinked, her glowing sapphire eyes eerily bright in the dim light. "Freaks?" she echoed in her stiff monotone. "I am no freak. I am… Naruto Uzumaki, future Hokage and current unparalleled critic of cinema. You should be grateful for my expertise. Dattebayo."

Sakura smacked her forehead. "Naruto, just get down before we get thrown out."

"Thrown out?" Naruto repeated, tilting her head like a confused owl. "Impossible. I am improving this film for all involved. It is… flawed."

The manager turned an alarming shade of purple. "I'm counting to three. If you're not off that ceiling by then, you're all OUT!"

Naruto crossed her arms, her arrogance practically radiating off her like a bad cologne. "Unreasonable. I am simply ensuring Yukie-san's growth as an actress. This is an act of benevolence."

"Three!" the manager barked.

Sasuke and Sakura exchanged weary glances before sighing and dropping from the ceiling with well-practiced grace. Lee followed suit, apologizing profusely to the manager for the "youthful enthusiasm" of their teammate.

Naruto remained glued to the ceiling, arms still crossed. "I refuse. The art demands my presence. Dattebayo."

The manager didn't hesitate. He called for security, and within minutes, the whole group found themselves unceremoniously dumped on the street outside the theatre.

Dusting herself off, Naruto looked at the theatre doors with a stiff, robotic pout. "Unacceptable. They clearly lack appreciation for constructive criticism."

Sakura groaned, her face buried in her hands. "Why do we let her do this stuff?"

Lee, ever optimistic, grinned nervously. "Perhaps next time, Naruto-chan will consider… a quieter approach to her critiques?"

Naruto, unphased, flicked her dress dramatically. "Yukie-san will regret losing my guidance. One day, she will beg me to star in her films. Dattebayo."

Sasuke sighed deeply. "I can't believe this is my life."

The four of them trudged off, Naruto leading the way with all the misplaced dignity of someone who absolutely did not just get kicked out of a movie theatre for being an upside-down popcorn critic.

Û~Û

The four of them were sprawled on the grass of an empty lot, trying to salvage their dignity after being kicked out of the theatre. Naruto, unbothered by the earlier fiasco, was gesturing dramatically, her gloved hands slicing through the air like she was conducting some bizarre symphony.

"And that, my youthful colleagues," Naruto declared stiffly, her glowing sapphire eyes fixated on Lee, "is why I am the superior ninja. Dattebayo."

Lee nodded enthusiastically, equally invested in whatever nonsense they were talking about. "Naruto-kun, your passion burns brighter than the flames of youth! Truly inspiring!"

Meanwhile, Sakura was perched on a rock nearby, leaning toward Sasuke with an awkward smile. "So, Sasuke-kun," she began, twirling a strand of hair, "do you think… um… the stars are romantic tonight?"

Sasuke didn't even glance her way. "No."

Sakura's face fell, but before she could press further, there was a deafening CRASH as the fence bordering the lot shattered like cheap pottery. A blur of movement burst through, sending splinters flying in every direction.

Naruto froze mid-gesture, tilting her head stiffly. "Huh?"

A horse galloped into the lot, its hooves pounding against the ground like thunder. On its back was a young woman in a flowing cloak, her hair whipping wildly in the wind. She looked terrified, her gaze darting around frantically as she tried to control the panicked animal.

Naruto squinted. "Isn't that… Yukie Fujikaze?" She blinked once, processing the information. "Dattebayo."

Before anyone could respond, more horses charged through the broken fence, ridden by masked men wielding swords. Their dark clothing and sharp blades glinted ominously under the moonlight as they pursued the actress with ruthless determination.

Sakura gasped. "They're after Yukie!"

Sasuke stood up, his eyes narrowing. "We need to stop them."

Naruto sprang to her feet, her movements unnervingly precise. Her frilly black dress swayed as she pointed a gloved finger toward the chaos. "As your superior officer," she declared robotically, her voice loud and commanding, "I issue the following orders. Dattebayo."

Lee, ever ready for action, snapped into a salute. "Yes, Naruto-kun!"

Naruto gestured toward Yukie, who was barely clinging to the reins of her horse. "I will personally retrieve the Princess of Cinema. Dattebayo. You three—stop those masked hooligans. No mercy. Dattebayo."

Sakura frowned. "Wait, why do you get to chase the actress?"

Naruto tilted her head, her glowing eyes blinking slowly. "Because… I am Naruto Uzumaki, the Jounin. And also… she might beg me to star in her next movie. Dattebayo."

Sasuke rolled his eyes but didn't argue, already sprinting toward the masked riders. Lee gave Naruto a thumbs-up before following, his green jumpsuit a blur of energy. Sakura sighed, muttering something about Naruto's inflated ego before chasing after them.

Meanwhile, Naruto bolted after Yukie with an almost mechanical precision, her high heels somehow defying all logic as they clacked against the ground in perfect rhythm. "Princess Yukie!" she called stiffly, her voice echoing across the lot. "Do not fear. I, Naruto Uzumaki, will save you. Dattebayo."

The actress didn't respond, too focused on trying not to fall off her horse as it weaved erratically through the lot. Naruto's glowing sapphire eyes locked onto the reins, calculating the exact angle she needed. With a sudden burst of speed, she leapt into the air, somersaulting gracefully before landing squarely on the horse's back behind Yukie.

"Fear not," Naruto said in her usual flat tone, gripping the reins with an eerie calmness. "I have the situation under control. Dattebayo."

Yukie glanced back, her eyes wide with panic. "Who are you?!"

"Your saviour," Naruto replied simply. Then, with a tug of the reins, she redirected the horse, guiding it away from the masked men.

Behind them, Sasuke, Sakura, and Lee had caught up to the riders. Sasuke unsheathed his blade with practiced ease, deflecting an incoming strike from one of the masked men. "These guys aren't amateurs," he muttered, dodging another attack.

Lee, on the other hand, was a blur of green and orange as he leapt from the ground, delivering a spinning kick that sent one rider flying off his horse. "Youthful justice will prevail!" he shouted, landing with a dramatic pose.

Sakura ducked under a sword swing before delivering a well-aimed punch to another rider's gut. "Who are these people?!" she yelled, frustration evident in her voice.

"They're not fans, that's for sure," Sasuke replied dryly, blocking another attack.

As the three continued their battle, Naruto expertly maneuvered Yukie's horse out of harm's way. She glanced back at the commotion, her expression blank but her tone dripping with arrogance. "Do not worry about them. My underlings are highly capable. Dattebayo."

"Underlings?!" Yukie exclaimed, her panic briefly replaced by indignation. "Who do you think you are?!"

Naruto tilted her head, her sapphire eyes glowing softly in the dim light. "I am Naruto Uzumaki. Jounin, future Hokage, and—potentially—your next co-star. Dattebayo."

Yukie groaned, clearly regretting every decision that had led to this moment.

Naruto sat perched on the galloping horse, her gloved hands firmly gripping the reins, guiding Yukie Fujikaze's escape with all the poise and arrogance of someone who thought they were the protagonist in a movie. Yukie, however, had other ideas.

With a sudden, desperate shove, Yukie pushed Naruto backward, causing the creepy Jounin to tumble off the horse and land in the grass with a dull thud.

"Huh?" Naruto blinked, sitting up stiffly, her glowing sapphire eyes wide in robotic confusion as the horse and its rider sped away. "Did she just… reject my heroic rescue? Dattebayo?"

She rose to her feet, dusting off her frilly black dress with mechanical precision. Her voice remained flat, though tinged with wounded pride. "Was my aura too overwhelming for her mortal sensibilities? Dattebayo."

Undeterred, Naruto bolted after the horse, her movements unnervingly smooth, like she was on some invisible conveyor belt. Within seconds, she was casually running alongside Yukie, her high heels clacking against the ground in perfect rhythm with the horse's gallop.

Yukie glanced down, her face a mixture of shock and frustration. "What… How are you keeping up?!"

Naruto turned her head, her glowing eyes locking onto Yukie's with an unsettling calmness. "Why," she asked flatly, her voice steady despite the breakneck speed, "did you push me? My presence was… beneficial. Dattebayo."

"Beneficial?!" Yukie exclaimed, pulling the reins to speed up. "You're insane! Leave me alone!"

Naruto's legs adjusted effortlessly, matching the horse's newfound pace without breaking a sweat. She tilted her head, her white bob-cut hair bouncing slightly. "Insane is subjective. Your rejection of my assistance… was inefficient. Dattebayo."

Yukie groaned, urging the horse to go even faster, but no matter how much she pushed, Naruto remained by her side, staring at her with that unnervingly blank expression. "You can't just run alongside a horse like this! It's not normal!"

Naruto blinked, her tone completely unbothered. "Normal is… overrated."

Û~Û

Meanwhile, Lee, Sasuke, and Sakura had cornered the masked riders in a clearing. Lee, bursting with youthful energy, delivered a spinning kick that sent one of the pursuers flying off his horse. "Feel the power of youth!"

Sasuke, ever the picture of efficiency, disarmed another with a well-placed kunai throw. "Pathetic," he muttered under his breath as the masked man hit the ground.

Sakura, her fists glowing with chakra, delivered a thunderous punch that cracked the earth beneath the last rider, sending him and his horse tumbling. "Stay down!" she barked, brushing her hands off triumphantly.

The three stood together, breathing heavily but victorious. Lee gave a thumbs-up. "We did it, my friends! Youth prevails once again!"

Sakura smiled, still catching her breath. "Not bad, guys."

Sasuke just shrugged, his usual indifference firmly in place.

Û~Û

Back on the trail, Naruto finally stopped running, watching as Yukie's horse disappeared into the distance. She stood there, hands on her hips, her glowing eyes narrowed in thought. "She will regret underestimating me. Dattebayo," she muttered before turning her attention to the subdued pursuers.

One of the masked men lay groaning on the ground, clutching his side. Naruto loomed over him, her shadow casting an ominous silhouette as she began a monologue. "You dared to disrupt the cinematic harmony of Yukie Fujikaze's life," she began, her voice stiff yet dramatic. "Do you not understand the artistry of the silver screen? Dattebayo!"

The man whimpered, clearly regretting all his life choices.

Naruto continued, gesturing grandly as if addressing an invisible audience. "Cinema is the pinnacle of human achievement. It transcends nations, languages, and chakras. It is—"

"Naruto," Kakashi's voice cut through her speech like a sharp blade.

She turned stiffly, blinking at him. "Sensei? Why are you interrupting my… theatrical intervention? Dattebayo."

Kakashi sighed, his visible eye narrowing with mild exasperation. "Naruto, those men weren't trying to harm Yukie. They were chasing her because she's running away. They're part of the film crew."

Naruto froze, her entire body stiffening like a malfunctioning automaton. "Film… crew?" she repeated, her tone flat yet tinged with disbelief.

"Yes," Kakashi confirmed, his voice patient but firm. "They're the clients. Yukie doesn't want to film the movie, and they were trying to get her back to the set."

Naruto blinked slowly, processing this new information. "So… they are not villains?"

"No."

"And the princess of cinema… is avoiding her responsibilities?"

"Correct."

Naruto's sapphire eyes narrowed in robotic disappointment. "Unacceptable. Dattebayo."

As if on cue, Yukie tried to make a break for it again, nudging her horse into a gallop. But Kakashi stepped in front of her path, holding up his hand. The horse reared back, and Yukie let out an exasperated groan. "Can't you people just leave me alone?!"

Naruto approached her with eerie calmness, her voice low and ominous. "Running away is inefficient. And cowardly. Dattebayo."

Yukie glared at her. "Who even are you?"

Naruto tilted her head, her robotic tone unwavering. "I am Naruto Uzumaki. Jounin, saviour, and future cinematic icon. Dattebayo."

As the group finally gathered their bearings after Yukie's dramatic escape attempt and Kakashi's calm but exasperated intervention, Lee, full of his trademark energy and positivity, stepped forward to greet the actress. His green jumpsuit practically gleamed in the sunlight as he gave her a dazzling smile, bowing low in his usual exaggerated fashion.

"Miss Yukie Fujikaze!" Lee exclaimed, his voice ringing with pure, youthful enthusiasm. "It is an honour to meet such a talented and radiant star! I am Rock Lee, a ninja of Konoha, and I vow to protect you with all the power of my youth!"

Yukie, still seated on her horse, blinked down at him, her expression somewhere between unimpressed and outright hostile. For a fleeting second, she seemed like she might entertain Lee's overzealous greeting. But then, with the precision of someone who'd clearly been in this situation before, she swung her leg out and landed a sharp kick right to Lee's crotch.

"G-GAHHHH!" Lee crumpled to the ground in a dramatic heap, clutching his groin with both hands. His eyes bulged comically as he gasped, "T-the pain…! Even the power of youth… cannot withstand… this…"

Naruto, who had been watching from the side, tilted her head, her sapphire eyes glowing faintly in thought. "Hn. Logical defence mechanism," she muttered. "However, inefficient against someone of my calibre. Dattebayo."

Before anyone could react further, Yukie dug her heels into the horse and tried to bolt again, her earlier shove at Naruto apparently not enough for her. "I'm not filming this stupid movie!" she shouted over her shoulder.

Kakashi sighed, his usual relaxed demeanour giving way to mild irritation. "Enough is enough."

He activated his Sharingan with a flash, his single visible eye spinning hypnotically. "Yukie Fujikaze," he said in a calm but commanding tone, "go to sleep."

The effect was instantaneous. Yukie wobbled on her horse, her eyelids fluttering as she muttered, "What the… what did you…" before slumping forward, unconscious.

Naruto blinked at the scene, her stiff posture shifting slightly as she turned to Kakashi. "You didn't… just kill her, did you, sensei?" she asked, her voice robotic but carrying a hint of curiosity.

"No, Naruto," Kakashi replied, rubbing the back of his neck. "I just put her to sleep. She'll wake up… eventually."

Lee, still on the ground and groaning in agony, managed to raise a hand. "Sensei… perhaps next time… you could… warn us first…"

Kakashi ignored him, already walking over to Yukie's unconscious form. "Sasuke, Sakura, help me get her off the horse. We need to get to the ship before she wakes up and tries to escape again."

Sasuke rolled his eyes but complied, pulling Yukie down from the horse with minimal effort. "She's heavier than she looks," he muttered.

Sakura gave him a sharp look. "Don't say stuff like that! It's rude!"

Naruto, watching the entire scene with her usual blank expression, crossed her arms. "I could carry her. Efficiently. And heroically. Dattebayo."

Kakashi glanced at her. "No, Naruto. You'll just make another speech about cinematic artistry, and we don't have time for that."

Naruto tilted her head, her lips pressing into a flat line. "Your lack of faith is noted, sensei. Dattebayo."

The group finally made it to the docks, where a modest but sturdy ship awaited them, its sails flapping in the cold wind. The vessel was clearly designed for transporting cargo, though it had been outfitted with a few luxury touches to accommodate the film crew.

Kakashi, Sasuke, and Sakura carried the still-snoozing Yukie aboard, laying her gently on a cushioned bench in the ship's main cabin. Lee, having finally recovered from his… unfortunate injury, stood at attention by the gangplank, his face still pale but his determination unwavering.

Naruto, meanwhile, stood on the deck, her arms crossed as she surveyed the scene with an air of superiority. "This ship will carry us to greatness," she declared, her voice stiff yet grandiose. "The Land of Snow shall witness my unparalleled prowess. Dattebayo."

Sakura sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Naruto, you're not the star of the movie. Yukie is."

Naruto turned her glowing eyes toward Sakura, her tone icy. "A star's brightness dims in the presence of the moon. I… am that moon. Dattebayo."

Sasuke groaned, already regretting his life choices. "This is going to be a long trip."

Kakashi, leaning against the ship's railing, pulled out his little orange book and flipped it open. "At least it won't be boring."

Û~Û

The ship sliced through the icy waters as the snowy landscape of the Land of Snow loomed closer, bringing with it an unforgiving chill. The once-calm ocean now bristled with jagged icebergs that threatened to puncture the ship's hull if navigated carelessly. Frost clung to the wooden planks, and a freezing wind howled through the rigging, sending shivers down the spines of everyone aboard—well, almost everyone.

Naruto, as always, stood stoically on the deck, her glowing sapphire eyes scanning the horizon. Her creamy skin didn't so much as goosebump, despite the bitter cold. A toad-patterned vest peeked out from under her frilly black dress, and her black high heels clicked against the frost-coated planks. The cold wind tousled her white, bob-cut hair, giving her an eerily unbothered, almost ghostly appearance.

"Snow," Naruto said stiffly, her voice carrying the same weight as if she were declaring war. "It's… inefficient. Dattebayo."

Lee, who was bounding across the deck with his boundless energy, paused just long enough to turn and flash Naruto a thumbs-up. "I find this snowy atmosphere invigorating! It fuels the fire of my youth!"

Sakura, wrapped in a scarf and hugging her arms against the cold, gave Lee a deadpan look. "It's freezing. Your 'youth' is going to get frostbite."

Sasuke leaned casually against the mast, his dark eyes watching the growing icebergs with suspicion. "Hn. This place is going to be a nightmare to traverse."

Deciding she was done staring at inefficient snow, Naruto pivoted robotically on her heel and headed below deck, the clicks of her high heels echoing ominously. Lee, Sakura, and Sasuke followed, each for their own reasons: curiosity, duty, and the slight hope that Naruto wouldn't accidentally break something important.

Below deck, the ship's interior buzzed with activity as the film crew prepared for the upcoming shoot. Equipment was stacked haphazardly against the walls, and the air was filled with a mix of chatter, grumbling, and the occasional crash as someone dropped something heavy.

Naruto's glowing eyes swept across the room, taking in the chaos. "Disorganized," she stated flatly. "This is… the least efficient crew I have ever seen. Dattebayo."

A burly man carrying a lighting rig paused to glare at her. "Who asked you, kid?"

Naruto tilted her head, clearly unfazed by his irritation. "You require my input. Dattebayo."

Sakura stepped forward quickly, offering an apologetic smile. "Sorry about her! She's… uh… like that."

Lee, ever the optimist, gave the man a thumbs-up. "Your dedication to your craft is inspiring! Truly a testament to the power of teamwork!"

The man stared at Lee for a moment, then muttered something about "weird kids" before walking off.

Meanwhile, Naruto had zeroed in on the film's director, a wiry man with thick glasses and a perpetually frazzled expression. He was gesticulating wildly at a group of crew members, his voice rising in frustration. "I don't care how cold it is! The snow machines have to work, or we'll lose the shot!"

Naruto approached him, her stiff movements making her look like a wind-up doll. "Your snow… is inefficient. Real snow exists outside. Dattebayo."

The director turned to her, clearly about to give a sharp retort, but then seemed to think better of it. "Who are you again?"

"I am Naruto Uzumaki," she replied, her tone robotic yet grandiose. "Your cinematic savior. Dattebayo."

Before the man could question her further, Kakashi appeared, his face as unreadable as ever. He held a bundle of thick, winter-ready clothing under one arm and gestured for the team to gather.

"Alright, everyone," he said, his tone calm but firm. "We're getting closer to the Land of Snow, and the temperatures are only going to drop further. Here's some winter gear. Wear it."

Kakashi handed out the clothing, which ranged from fur-lined coats to insulated boots. When he reached Naruto, however, she raised a gloved hand in protest.

"I do not require this," she said stiffly. "My body is made of Hashirama's sage wood and silicone skin. I am… immune to cold. Dattebayo."

Kakashi stared at her for a long moment, his visible eye narrowing slightly. "You'll look odd without it. Besides, it's an order."

Naruto blinked, processing this information. "Looking odd… is inefficient," she muttered, reluctantly taking the bundle.

She disappeared behind a stack of crates to change, reemerging a few minutes later in her new winter ensemble: a luxurious blue fur-lined overcoat, a pristine white frilly winter frock, and sturdy, stylish boots that gleamed in the dim light.

Naruto struck a pose, her glowing eyes scanning her reflection in a nearby porthole. "Hn. I look… magnificent. Dattebayo."

Sakura, bundled up in a simpler coat and scarf, raised an eyebrow. "You look like a walking snow princess."

Naruto nodded, clearly taking this as the highest compliment. "Correct. My regal presence elevates this ship. Dattebayo."

Lee clapped his hands together, his face shining with admiration. "Naruto! Your winter attire truly embodies the spirit of youthful elegance!"

Even Sasuke gave her a side-eye glance, muttering under his breath, "At least she's not in high heels anymore."

Naruto stomped one of her new boots experimentally, the thud reverberating through the deck. "These… are superior to my previous footwear. Efficient and stylish. Dattebayo."

Kakashi, who had been watching the whole exchange with mild amusement, gave a small shrug. "Glad you approve. Now, let's focus on not freezing to death, alright?"

As the team prepared to disembark, Naruto continued to admire her reflection, muttering under her breath about how her "cinematic presence" would surely inspire greatness in the snowy Land of Snow.

Û~Û

The heavy door to Yukie's cabin suddenly burst open with a loud bang, startling the entire crew into silence. Yukie Fujikaze, her long hair dishevelled and her eyes wide with disbelief, stumbled out like a deer caught in headlights. Her gaze darted around, taking in the stark reality: the gently swaying ship, the frost-covered portholes, and the general sea-bound chaos. She froze for a moment before pointing a shaking finger at no one in particular.

"What… what is this?!" Yukie screeched, her voice shrill enough to send shivers that had nothing to do with the icy air. "Why am I on a ship?!"

Naruto, who had been busy admiring herself in the reflection of a metal tray, slowly turned to face Yukie. Her glowing sapphire eyes blinked once, then twice, as if processing the actress's sudden outburst. "You are… on a ship," Naruto said stiffly, stating the obvious in a tone that suggested she had just discovered a profound truth. "It is moving. Dattebayo."

Yukie's hands flew to her head, gripping her hair as she let out a groan of despair. "No, no, no! This isn't happening! I'm stuck here, aren't I?! Stuck with… you people!" Her eyes flitted over to Kakashi, who gave her a casual wave, and then to Sakura and Lee, who looked mildly concerned. When her gaze landed on Naruto, however, she visibly flinched.

"Inefficient response," Naruto commented, stepping forward with her stiff, robotic gait. "Your hysteria is… unnecessary. Dattebayo."

Yukie backed away, pressing herself against the wall of the ship's corridor. "Unnecessary?! Do you have any idea what this means?!" she shrieked. "I have to—ugh—act! I have to put up with costumes and lines and—and… that!" She jabbed a finger toward Naruto, her face a mix of fear and frustration.

Naruto tilted her head slightly, her glowing eyes narrowing. "That is correct. You must act," she said with robotic precision. Then, with a theatrical flourish of her arms, she declared, "As a cinematic savior, I, Naruto Uzumaki, shall ensure your performance is… adequate. Dattebayo."

Kakashi, who had been leaning casually against the doorframe of the cabin, sighed and rubbed his temples. "Yukie-san, let's take a deep breath, shall we? We're on our way to the Land of Snow, and everything will be fine. You'll shoot the film, and we'll keep you safe."

"Safe?!" Yukie barked, throwing her hands in the air. "Safe from what? From an audience dying of boredom because I'm the worst actress on the planet?! From my career being frozen in the icy pits of this godforsaken country?!"

Naruto stepped even closer, her movements so stiff and deliberate that it was almost eerie. "Incorrect," she intoned. "Your career is flawed but salvageable. With my guidance, your cinematic destiny will shine. Dattebayo."

Yukie blinked at her, looking utterly baffled. "Who are you, exactly?" she demanded.

"Jounin Naruto Uzumaki," Naruto replied proudly, standing as tall as her short frame allowed. "Renowned for unparalleled skills, unparalleled beauty, and unparalleled acting advice. Dattebayo."

Before Yukie could respond, Lee sprang forward, his enthusiasm undeterred by her obvious meltdown. "Yukie-san! Please do not worry! Together, with the flames of youth burning brightly within us, we shall overcome all obstacles and make this movie a masterpiece!"

Yukie stared at him like he had grown a second head. "What is wrong with you people?!" she wailed, clearly overwhelmed.

At that moment, Sakura stepped forward, placing a hand on Yukie's shoulder in what she clearly intended to be a comforting gesture. "Look, it's not so bad. You've got us to protect you, and I'm sure the movie will turn out great. Besides, it's not like you can swim back to the mainland."

Yukie groaned and slid down the wall until she was sitting on the floor, her head in her hands. "This is a nightmare," she muttered. "A complete, absolute nightmare."

Naruto crouched down beside her, her glowing eyes unblinking. "Nightmares are temporary. Cinema is eternal. Dattebayo."

Kakashi cleared his throat, deciding it was time to intervene before Yukie spontaneously combusted from sheer frustration. "Alright, everyone, let's give Yukie-san some space. She's had a rough day." He gave Yukie a reassuring pat on the shoulder before gesturing for the rest of the team to follow him.

As the group walked away, Naruto lingered for a moment, turning back to Yukie with an oddly stiff wave. "Do not fear. With me, your movie will achieve… cinematic perfection. Dattebayo."

Yukie let out a strangled groan and buried her face in her hands again.

Û~Û

Author Note:

I hope you liked this chapter.

Drop your thoughts in the review section. Your words inspire me to write faster, better and with more depth.

Till next time!