CHAPTER 4: THE MAGNIFICENT SEVEN, PART 4
Childhood is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, and you never get another chance at it.
But that has not deterred children all throughout time to try to grow up quicker, trying to prove themselves as more mature, all for the chance to be taken seriously by the world and feel important and treated equally by the adults. In the process, they forget how they once looked at the world with wonder and innocence, and forget how they once had fun in their playground that is their home planet Earth.
This is a mistake Lincoln Loud has nearly made, but narrowly avoided.
Growing up in a family of 10 sisters, 5 his elder and 5 his younger, Lincoln has seen his siblings attain their passions and interests quicker than he could find his own, making him feel left out and lost, left behind in his own clan, condition he has already suffered from being its only male child.
Worse yet, what interests he held in comic books, particularly the character of Ace Savvy, made him feel left behind by his own friends. With media like anime overtaking the American comic book as the favorite form of entertainment for his peers, he once again felt disconnected and apart from those around him.
In an attempt to rectify this perceived mistake, Lincoln acquired superpowers of his own by stepping into a nuclear reactor. This was preordained by his second-youngest sister and resident genius, Lisa Loud, in order to fulfill her own scientific research, falsifying his report cards and making him fulfill a fake summer school assignment in order to attain her data.
The result was Lincoln Loud gaining powers over all forms of energy, and him taking the name of Ace Savvy, in honor of his favorite superhero.
The consequence was him having a slow start in becoming a superhero.
He had an initial strong start with the defeat of Lars Rodriguez, but that shot of success led to a downfall of attention soon after. It had slowly picked up once again with the arrival of various unintelligent supervillains with absurd gimmicks, resulting in nothing but minor property damage as a result of their clashes.
Occasionally, there would be the arrival of a competent supervillain, and there were 5 of these he would come into battle with:
Nailbomb, an explosives expert...
Icebreaker, a man with freezing abilities...
Decibel, who wielded sound as a weapon...
Killer Crab, a massive crab-themed villain with great strength...
...and Tommy Gunn, a 1920's gangster pastiche with a penchant for the submachine gun of the same name.
These 5 had given him more of a fight than the past pretenders he faced against, leaving him defeated and humiliated before the general public. However, with the aide of his sisters to guide him, he managed to train himself for battle with supervillains again, taking back to the streets to reclaim his fame.
However, that fame was soon supplanted by a shiny superman named the Silver Sentinel, quickly winning over the hearts and minds of Royal Woods.
For every enemy that Lincoln Loud faced as Ace Savvy, Silver Sentinel would swoop in and save the day before he could, acting like a vulture that preyed on his sustenance of fame and attention. The repetitive upstaging from the superior superhero left the name of Ace Savvy all but irrelevant in Royal Woods, and, following a meeting with Silver Sentinel after an attempt on the Louds' lives...
...Lincoln Loud decided to quit being Ace Savvy, leaving the superhero business in his hands.
However, once it became noted that Silver Sentinel eschewed his attention away from the 5 'serious' supervillains that proved to be a threat to Ace Savvy, Lincoln Loud investigated further into the intentions of the Silver Sentinel, soon finding after that they were in cahoots, with the so-called superhero acting as their personal enforcer.
This sprung Ace Savvy back into action once again, fighting back against the man who sought to profit off his home. Valiant as his efforts were, standing alone against the all-powerful silver superhuman, even fighting off the 5 villains who once bested him all by himself, he ultimately fell a helpless victim to Silver Sentinel, trapped at his mercy.
His family, however, was quick to come to action, taking on their own superhero identities as the Full House Gang, rescuing Ace Savvy from his captors.
But alongside this long list of events was a struggle far more human than caped crusaders and four-colored characters. Once having a puppy-love relationship with a girl named Ronnie Anne Santiago, the younger sister of the boyfriend of his own eldest sister Lori. All but forced upon her by Lori and the rest of the Louds, the two nonetheless did kindle a sincere relationship...
...but that took a backseat to a long-distance connection when Ronnie Anne had to move away, forcing them to stay in contact by phone and video chat instead. Along that time, a new girl by the name of Stella came to Royal Woods, and she, too, took a liking to Lincoln, and Lincoln took a liking to her as well.
Enticed by the idea of a relationship with her as one that was not forced upon him by his family, he pursued it in secret as he eschewed Ronnie Anne, putting a strain on what connection was once there. For the while, it seemed almost easy to decide to pursue the girl who was there than the one who was not...
...but that changed when Ronnie Anne returned to Royal Woods, where he was forced to face the consequences of his infidelity. Ronnie Anne had pushed away Stella on Lincoln's behalf, claiming the boy all to herself, leaving Stella with a broken heart and a head full of teenage hormones, which led her to an unusual alliance.
Locating the Silver Sentinel, she convinced the shiny superman to give her some of his own powers, allowing her a chance to gain her revenge on Lincoln Loud. Once Silver Sentinel was defeated, Stella swooped in to try to destroy Lincoln herself, with Ronnie Anne stepping in to save him, putting the two girls he liked at odds...
...but the fight was broken up as Lincoln cried out for sanity, feeling the last of his own strength give out against the struggles of life he was put through. It had garnered the sympathy of his family and the two girls, making them lend their support to a boy who tried to grow up too fast and faced the consequences, putting the battle to a stop.
In the aftermath, Lincoln chose neither Ronnie Anne nor Stella, but did not shun, them either; his decision was to allow the three a chance to grow up together and face the affair of love and relationships at a later time, when all were mature enough to do so. Stella, showing her willingness to the pledge, shared some of her powers with Ronnie Anne, allowing them both a chance to fight for Lincoln's love equally.
Staying with his decision to stay young and not rush his life, Lincoln also retired from the role of Ace Savvy. Having dispatched Silver Sentinel and foiled his plans to exploit Royal Woods, there was no need for him to keep on fighting crime, and instead left the work to local law enforcement.
Complex as this tale is, there is still one more aspect of it which has not been noted, but is one of the most important parts of all:
Lincoln Loud is one of the few rare breeds of people who possesses dimensional awareness, knowing of the existence of the Observants and often speaking to them as though they were his personal friends, willingly acting as their performer as he continued through the course of his life.
During his time as Ace Savvy, however, he had come to awareness of me, the Clockwork.
This was unacceptable for my plan.
Assuming the role of a mentally deranged individual, making Lincoln believe as though his life was being written by a fanfiction writer, I was able to convince him to surrender his ability to see through the 4th dimension. He had shared this ability with Ronnie Anne, and she still possesses it now, but I had no need to make her relinquish it, and, instead, required her as she was.
Now, with the exception of his energy manipulation powers, Lincoln Loud is but a normal boy once again, living a normal life at the age of 14 years old.
Such is the case with today as he gets up for school, of which it is that last day of for this year. Where school starts at 8 AM for children in Royal Woods, making them need to wake up early in order to ride the bus to make it to school on time, Lincoln leisurely wakes up at 7:30, far past when the school bus made its route through his neighborhood.
However, he is not concerned with this delay in his apparent problem. Instead, he continued to make his way out of bed in his early and unhurried manner, sitting at the edge of the bed in his underwear. Reaching his arms up in the air, he let out a yawn, cracking his neck as he finished.
Back when he had his awareness of the wall of the fourth dimension, this is when he would address you, the Observants, but no longer can he see you, and therefore can no longer speak to you. There is another who he aims to speak to instead, picking up his phone and dialing the number to his agent.
Having retired as a superhero, he is still well-known to the world as the boy formerly known as Ace Savvy, and has his own celebrity status and source of income made from his name. To help him handle his financial affairs, his agent, an impetuous Hollywood creature by the name of Ryan Levine, is a shark in a pool of other sharks in search of bigger and better deals for him.
" Hey, Lincoln, babe, how you doin'? Finally get your way out of bed from all those supermodels in there with you?" Ryan asked.
"Ryan, don't be ridiculous. Ever since the whole Ace Savvy thing, I haven't gone after any girls. Ronnie Anne and Stella are still trying to go after me, but I made it clear to them that I don't wanna date anyone right now, and I think that we should all try to grow up before-" Lincoln began to say.
" Whoa, whoa, Lincoln, save the monologues for a talk show. I really need to get you your own, or maybe set you up for another episode of Joe Rogan. You can talk there all you want."
"Sorry. You know how I am."
" I do, and we make plenty of money together because of it. And speaking of your two girlfriends, TMZ's been talking about you three non-stop for the past few weeks now, trying to figure out which of the two you're gonna pick, like you're the next Archie, Betty, and Veronica. It's made your stock go way up."
"I'm still not gonna pick either of them, you know."
" You don't have to. That's the beauty of it. You just keep 'em guessin', make 'em keep talking, and you just sit back and reap the rewards. By the way, got a big update on your next Ace Savvy movie. They're thinking of doing another reboot, and they want Zendaya to play Ronnie Anne, and Shameik Moore to play Clyde."
"Who's playing Stella?"
" Not in this continuity. The producers wanna do this thing where you've liked each other since you were little kids, and Clyde's part of some love triangle, it's going a rewrite as we speak. In any case, things are going well on our end here, you just get to school and be a normal kid to be more relatable to the masses."
"Got it. Thanks for the news, Ryan. See you."
" Also, Linc, got the limo on the way. Don't miss school, today's the last day of the year for you, and your big speech day."
Hanging up the phone, Lincoln made his way downstairs to the kitchen, still finding no worries against the clock that ticked closer and closer to classtime, whereas he could not be farther away from class. Going to the fridge and taking out a carton of eggs, he also selected a pack of raisins, chopped carrots, and baked beans to go with it.
A consequence of the means he acquired his powers also included his taste buds getting rearranged and reacting positively to strange mixes of foods. The eggs were cracked open and scrambled to become an omelette, with his other foods becoming the items that would be part of it.
As he began cooking the crime against food science, his phone had received a call, this one hailing from Lisa Loud, which he begrudgingly answered.
"Hey, Lis, what's up?" Lincoln asked.
" Lincoln, where are you?" Lisa asked.
"At home alone, cooking breakfast."
" Classh shtartsh in 10 minutesh, Lincoln, why weren't you on the bush?"
"Whoa, Lisa! Do I ask you about your love life? I don't need you asking me personal details about-"
" Not 'bush', Lincoln. The 'bush'! The shtreet name for the government-provided public transhportashtion for American youth to reshceive their public educashtion!"
"Oh, yeah, that. I'm taking the limo as soon as I eat."
" Oh, yesh. Of courshe."
"That's the one thing I do love about the whole ordeal with Ace Savvy I love, is all the fringe benefits of being a celebrity. In a family as big as mine, you need every advantage you can get to have a little personal gain, and what better way to do that than having your own agent to get you stuff? After all, I need to spend all that money I make on something, or else-"
" Shpare me your diatribesh, Lincoln. I am not your schizophrenic hallushcination."
"Lisa, I don't know what you're talking about with that 'hallucination' nonsense. Talking to weird, eyeball-headed people outside space and time, watching us constantly? That's kinda far-fetched."
" Now it'sh turned to amneshia. No matter."
"Why are you babying me today, anyway?"
" There's shome natshionalist gathering at school today, and you were asshigned ash the guesht shpeaker."
"Nationalist gath-? Oh! Oh, oh, right. The... The Fourth of July thing."
" Yesh, that."
"No sweat, Lis, I'm on it. Oop, hang on a sec."
Having finished cooking his omelette, Lincoln poured the food on a plate, grabbing a fork and shoveling down the contents immediately.
" Mmm... God, I love that I can't feel heat burns anymore... I don't have to wait for my food to cool down anymore... absorb more energy that way..." Lincoln mumbled.
" That remindsh me, Lincoln, don't forget your plutonium pill." Lisa said.
" Aw, c'mon, Lis, I hate those things. They taste shiny."
" 'Shiny' ish not a tashte, Lincoln."
" Those things are. You ever eat one of those?"
" Conshidering that I am not a metahuman being that can no longer age or grow like a normal human being, no. But you have to eat them if you want to add mass to your body and grow taller, becaushe your endocrine shyshtem no longer funcshtionsh the way it ushed to following your transhformashtion."
" And whose fault is that?"
" Lincoln."
Swallowing down the last of his omelette, Lincoln let out a frustrated grunt.
"Okay, fine, fine. I'm getting it." Lincoln groaned.
Walking back to the fridge, Lincoln took out a lead-lined case from it, putting it on the counter and opening it, revealing a neatly-sorted assortion of plutonium shaped into pills, arranged in a way that corresponded to the days of the week, not unlike an elderly person's medicine sorter.
Returning to the fridge to take out a carton of orange juice and chocolate syrup, he mixed the two to make a beverage to down the radioactive isotope. Taking one of the pills and putting it in his mouth, Lincoln quickly swallowed it down with the chocolate orange juice, cringing at the taste of the plutonium.
" Blech... Okay, Lis, I took the pill. You happy?" Lincoln asked.
" Happinessh ish a form of delushion for the incurioush and unshcientific. How do you feel?" Lisa asked.
"Disgusted by the taste. I wish these came in a cherry flavor. But I also feel almost an inch taller now."
" Exshellent. Now you'd better get to school, classh shtartsh in 5 minutesh."
"No problem, Lis. See you later."
Hanging up the phone and returning the plutonium back to the fridge, Lincoln returned to his bedroom and dressed himself in his usual wear of an orange polo shirt and jeans, complete with a pair of white shoes. Rushing downstairs by sliding down the guardrail of the stairs, he landed by the front door, opening it to find a limosine waiting for him.
The driver of the limousine, a portly man by the name of Kirby, waited for Lincoln at the door of the limo, holding it open for him.
"Good morning, Lincoln. Today's your last day of the year, you know. High school for you starting when summer's over." Kirby greeted.
"Looking forward to it. And good morning to you, too, Kirby." Lincoln greeted.
High-fiving Kirby as he stepped in the limousine, Lincoln laid back in his seat, pulling a cold Yahoo Soda out of a mini-fridge by his side, sipping down the contents as Kirby began to drive. Beginning his commute to school, Lincoln once again indulged on his urge to espouse exposition and all thoughts on his mind, trying to fulfill the void that was once filled by the Observants.
"You know, Kirby, I'm glad I got to keep some of the fringe benefits from being a superhero without having to do any of the work anymore. I feel like Grant Morrison's Zenith, but minus having to deal with the Lloigor and Multi-Angled Ones, when he was mainly just a popstar superhero that didn't do anything." Lincoln said.
"It's an easy life, ain't it, Lincoln?" Kirby asked.
"Yeah... but, you have to admit, I did have my day dealing with the bad guys back then. I could be a capable hero when the time was right."
"Like when you faced off against the Alcoholic and had him pass out in front of you before you could fight him?"
"Well, I did say 'when the time was right', didn't I?"
"That you did, Lincoln. Some has-been comes into town and tries to set up shop on his own crime protection racket, and you stopped him all by yourself. A kid who decided to be a superhero, and one completely independent of any corporate influence in a sea of sell-outs like the Silver Sentinel was. An American hero if I've ever seen one."
"Well, not 'all by myself'. My family did all help out. I do give credit where it's due."
"And a modest young man as well. Like I said, a true American hero."
Lincoln smiled as he sipped down another drink of his Yahoo Soda, happily reflecting on his past adventures as Ace Savvy in a fit of nostalgia...
...but that soon feel short as he ceased smiling, unhappily looking at his glass of Yahoo Soda in contemplation. He knows that the words he speaks are happy and joyful regarding his life now, but, much like any past event viewed through from a calm present, it becomes preferable to the banality of the now.
"You know something, Kirby? I kind of miss being a superhero. A real one, I mean, going out and fighting bad guys. Not just pretending to be one these days as a has-been." Lincoln said.
"Ah, you shouldn't look at yourself like that, Lincoln. You know how many problems you had as a superhero? Having a public flip-flop on whether or not they like you on a daily basis? Getting your butt kicked by a bunch of weirdos in costumes? What you got now's better on your worst day than your worst day as a superhero." Kirby said.
"Yeah, but that's the thing. You don't really know what you have until it's gone. I had a lot of downs, sure, but the ups were all the sweeter back then, and beating Silver Sentinel was one of the biggest ones ever. I guess that's the thing about the past, you forget about the bad days you used to have because, in the end, they're not that important. The good days you had are. That's probably why everyone else loves me now; they realize it, too, and they kind of miss it."
"A swell sentiment, Lincoln. But you don't think maybe it's because you're one of the few former superheroes that learned how to capitalize on his name, my taking the name of an already popular superhero?"
"No, I just call that smart money management."
The two shared a small laugh at the joke, taking levity out of the moment of seriousness.
"Well, if you ever need a limo driver to get you to the bad guys, you know where to call." Kirby said.
"That I do. You could be like the Alfred to my Batman." Lincoln said.
"Alfred never drove Batman where he needed to go."
"Batman had a driver's license. I got two years before I get mine."
Coming near their destination of Royal Woods Middle School, the limousine's speed slowed down to a careful pace, as before them were a multitude of students all standing outside the school's steps and the road in front of it. They once sat in wait for the man of the hour to arrive, eager to see the guest of honor appear to their very school...
...and, with the arrival of the limo, the presence of Lincoln Loud has made them gather around it and cheer, waiting for their local hero to step out.
Putting on a pair of sunglasses, Lincoln had no intention of disappointing them.
"Kirby, hit the stereo." Lincoln said.
"You got it, boss." Kirby said.
Turning the speakers to the limousine on full blast and pushing play on the car's stereo, Kirby began playing for Lincoln an entry theme to his arrival.
[Soundtrack Cue: KMFDM - Inane]
With the ultra-heavy beat blasting out of the speakers of the limousine as it arrived at the scene, the applause and cheering that the crowd of students let out for the arriving Lincoln Loud increased greatly, their enthusiasm chemically amplified by the music playing in the air.
Slowly did the limousine pull up to the front of the school, coming to a stop just outside the entrance. keeping the moment as intentionally dramatic as possible to properly play to the crowd and increase the hype for the main star within. Not yet did Lincoln Loud step out of the limousine, as he continued to let the music play and the tension build.
Inside the limo, he turned on a fog machine, letting a cloud of haze fill the floor of the limousine, making his last preparation to face the crowd.
"You know, if there's one thing that Silver Sentinel was right about... it's about knowing how to play to the crowd." Lincoln said.
Stepping out of the limo, Lincoln raised up his arms, gaining an even louder cheer from the crowd, which Lincoln responded to with an enthusiastic yell. Running back and forth to the sides of the steps, he further played up the crowd, high-fiving the various students as he passed them by.
He kept up his theatrical antics by power-sliding down the walkway, letting out more energy to keep up the feeling of excitement the crowd was indulging in. Continuing to act like a rock star, Lincoln performed various antics seen by rock performers, like doing air guitars and jumps.
Then, reaching into his pocket to retrieve a deck of cards, he charged the entire pack, releasing them to fly off in the air. Rather than descend on the crowd, the cards exploded in a series of small pops, going off like fireworks for the crowd to adore, which they did in great volume.
Heading up to the front doors, Lincoln turned around one last time to excite the crowd, raising his arms up with his hands raising devil's horns. Walking backwards from the crowd, he stepped through the doors to Royal Woods Middle School, entering the school for the last time of his life.
[Soundtrack Cue End]
Casually walking through the halls of the school, he enjoyed a moment of silence to himself, having a mob of children standing outside and cheering his praises, and Lincoln personally having his fill of excitement by way of praises from his adoring crowds of his fellow classmates...
...but, upon stepping inside the school, there were many children and peers standing in the hallways who cheered his arrival, giving him no such break.
"Oh, well. I can't help it if I'm famous now, can't I?" Lincoln thought aloud.
Walking down the halls of the school, Lincoln continued to high-five many other students, stopping for selfies and photos with others, with none willing to leave him alone to continue with his final day of school. It is a long journey to get to his locker, but he does manage to reach it, and he, never having to see it again, cleaned out all its contents into his backpack.
Upon closing the locker, he was surrounded once again, but this time not by fans, but two girls who had become very close to him.
"Hey, Lincoln." The girls said in unison.
Turning around, Lincoln faced both Ronnie Anne Santiago and Stella Zhau, standing before him in an anticipating manner.
"Oh, hey, girls. What's up?" Lincoln asked.
"It's only the last day of the school year for us, Lame-O. Next year's high school for us." Ronnie Anne said.
"Yeah. We're finally moving up to a whole new school. Aren't you excited?" Stella asked.
"I guess so. Not much to look forward to except for harder classes, when you think about it." Lincoln said.
"Boy, you're an optimistic one, aren't you?"
"I guess I'm more of a realist these days."
"Then how about getting excited about the thing today?" Ronnie Anne asked.
"The thing-? Oh, yeah, the thing. The whole speech and whatnot. I got it, no worries."
"Not that, Lame-O. We're having our final debate in civics. It's me against Stella. You get to be in the front-row seat and tell which one of us was the winner."
"It's not about winning, Ronnie Anne, we're just trying to make the last day of class fun and learn something. Besides, I got all my points ready to go, I'm sure I'm going to win the class over." Stella said.
"We'll see about that."
"Oh, yes, we will."
The class bell then rang in the school, prompting all students all about the school to head to their classrooms, which they did in a rush.
"Whoop, time for class." Stella said.
"Yeah, hang on, Linc. We'll give you the express route." Ronnie Anne said.
Stella and Ronnie Anne both grabbed Lincoln by an arm each, floating up in the air and beginning to head straight for their civics class. Utilizing their superpowers, Stella having gotten them from the Silver Sentinel, and Ronnie Anne having gotten hers from Stella, they carried Lincoln across the school at a swift pace, reaching the front door to their class in mere seconds.
Setting Lincoln back down, the girls allowed him a moment to catch his breath.
"Whoa. I'm never gonna get used to that. Glad I didn't have to worry about flying powers." Lincoln said.
Opening the door to the civics class, Lincoln, Ronnie Anne, and Stella stepped inside, receiving a backhanded greeting by the teacher.
"Well, well, I see our star students have graced us with their presence today." The teacher said.
"Sorry, teach. You know how it is, adoring fans and all." Lincoln said.
"Yes, of course. Have a seat, please."
Lincoln, Ronnie Anne, and Stella sat at their desks, patiently waiting for the teacher to give his final lecture they would have to hear him speak.
"Alright, everyone, we've gone over a lot of important topics and history over the year, and I've surely managed to keep your attention enough to help you retain at least some of that information, but today is very different. Since it's the last day of the school year, and the last day that you all spend in middle school, we're not going to go to the final lesson, but back to the start, when our country was founded. Now, who can tell me what the country was like after the United States declared independence?" The teacher asked.
"Uh... We were fighting the British?" One student answered.
"Well, yes, but what was the country like after we beat the British? Anyone?"
Stella raised her hand to answer the question, which the teacher selected her with a pointed finger.
"Yes, Ms. Zhau." The teacher said.
"The country was aligned under the Articles of Confederation, which made the federal government nearly non-existent and the states have too much power to the point where they acted as independent nations, making their own currencies and raising taxes too high." Stella answered.
"Very good, Ms. Zhau. And what was written after to be a replacement for the articles of confederation?"
Ronnie Anne raised her hand to answer, but did not bother waiting for the teacher to select her to answer.
"The Constitution. The government established the Bill of Rights to increase the power of the federal government, and make a list of unalienable rights that cannot be taken away, even by the states and their own governments." Ronnie Anne answered.
"Excellent, Ms. Santiago. And the two students you just heard answer are also going to be the ones who will carry out a small debate for us here, where we will go over one of the most important aspects not only in civics, but in almost every day of life: Compromise. Girls, will you stand at your places, please?" The teacher asked.
Stella and Ronnie Anne stood up from their seats, each taking a position by a small podium set to the sides of the teacher's desk.
"When the federal government was first created, there was a conversation and debate centered around two ideologies. One side stood for states' rights and the right to have independence, and the other stood for a stronger federal government and to have centralization. The Constitution was not the end-all-be-all in saying that the federal government has all the power. Though the federal government has its own supremacy in law, the states were left to have their own independent laws and rules regarding their own specific needs and make their own decisions based on what their populations wanted. Free travel was allowed from state to state, and people were free to live in any state they chose, making the will of the people in each state and their neighboring states' opposing decisions result in what we call the 'testing grounds of democracy'; the states are free to experiment with their own pursuits of freedom and happiness as dictated by the people. They're all players in a game trying to win and be the best state, and the federal government's the referee in the game trying to make sure they're all playing by the same rules and the players are treated fairly. So, for this debate, we're going to apply this thinking to the most simple form of government we can manage. You might've heard that test question on your PSATs that asks you the question 'If you were managing a football team, would you only let the best players play, or all the players get a chance to play?', but we're going to try to settle that here and now. Stella will take the side of having all the players play, and Ronnie Anne will take the side of the best players. Girls, go ahead and fight it out in the battlegrounds of democracy." The teacher said.
Sitting back down behind his desk, the teacher let his two students begin their debate, with each starting with their opening statements.
"Well, I'd like to start with this. It may be a cliche, but it's a cliche for a reason: There is no 'I' in team. A team is comprised of people who come together for a common goal, and that's to beat the other team. If not everyone's playing, then why even have them on the team? That's why my position is to have everyone get a chance." Stella said.
"And I'd like to start with pointing out the thing that Stella conveniently grazed over that undermined her point: A team's purpose is to beat the other team. On that, we're in full agreement. And that's why I come to the answer to let only the best players play. There's a reason why they're considered the best players. They're the people who know how to win. Regarding Stella's question, 'why even have them on the team'? Teams know how to cut bad players, it's not like they're just there as added fat." Ronnie Anne said.
"You're comparing human beings to fat, Ronnie Anne. That's a pretty bad case of dehumanization. The people on the team are all human beings, and they're all entitled to dignity and respect. They're also entitled to a fair shot, which includes actually being involved in the team. There's a difference between being put into the team, and actually playing in the game. Nobody likes being just a benchwarmer or a back-up plan. A game's supposed to be a time and place where everyone comes together for a common goal, and work together to do it."
"So in order to actually win the game, your plan is to let the people who aren't the best try to win. Yeah, good luck with that in playing where it counts. What sane coach is gonna have the guy who can't run fast enough or has a bad heart problem take the lead, just so they can fumble it?"
"You can't just assume that they're automatically going to be bad at the game, everyone gets a fair chance. And even if the worst case scenario happened, then at least they tried, and they're still on the team, and they had fun. That's what's important in a team, is looking out for all the members of your team. You can't just throw them out on the street because they didn't make it."
"If they don't want to be, then maybe they oughtta pull themselves up by their bootstraps. They have plenty of time to exercise and prepare themselves for the game. Maybe instead of spending all their time playing video games and spending their money on candy, they should've spent that time and money on things that would've made their performances better, and made it to the top of the team."
"Not everyone can make it to that top spot. Everyone's needs and abilities are different; by definition, not everyone can be the best athlete. There's always going to be people at the lower tiers. The question is: How do you account for them and see them treated equally?"
"Why should my hard work be exploited at the cost of a few moochers and parasites? I'm a hard worker and a team player, why should I have to fork over my place to some loser who sits on his ass and watches NewTube and anime all day? If they didn't make it to the top, then that's their own problem."
"You're making assumptions on people you don't even know. Everybody's got their own story, and their own experiences. Nobody fits into a 'one-size-fits-all' category of life. Life's not a universal experience, it's different for everyone, because we're all different people."
"Maybe, but there's still a matter of what you put into it. You can't just expect life to give you everything on a silver plate."
"Nobody ever said that. We're asking for the bare minimum in what's supposed to be a civilized society, and they're not getting it."
"Nobody asked to be part of society, either. You talk about this whole 'social contract' thing, but I must've missed the part where I'm supposed to sign it."
"You don't. You can't consent to that anymore than you can consent to being born. It just is, and the question is: Do you make it to where it benefits everyone, or only a select few? You apparently seem to favor the latter, and leave the rest of the people in the dust."
"It ain't my problem. At the end of the day, there's only one person that people care about more than anyone else: Themselves. When the going gets tough, look and see how your whole 'society' thing works out then."
"The whole idea is to make society doesn't get there, and ideas like yours lead to the very problem that you claim to care about preventing. You know how many countries have fallen into revolution over corruption and oligarchy, making the rest of the people go violent? That's how you lead to the destruction of a whole country."
The two debaters seemed to fully formulate their points well, and the teacher called the debate over as it became heated.
"Alright, alright, girls, settle down. I think we've had both points very firmly established here today by Ms. Santiago and Ms. Zhau. And as for everyone else, I'd like you all to think very hard on the points made here today, and think about how it pertains to yourselves and how you see yourself as a citizen in the United States of America. It's a very important personal philosophy to work out, and understanding that helps us understand ourselves just as well it does our country." The teacher lectured.
The bell rang as soon as the teacher concluded his speech, prompting the students to immediately leave for their next class.
Several classes are conducted and lectured throughout the day, and the school day, even if it is the last for the year, is nonetheless taxing and draining to the attention of the students and makes them require a period of rest. That break comes to them at their allotted lunch hour, in which the youths can all sit down and relax to enjoy a decent meal, whether it be homemade or provided by the school.
It is also a time when students can sit among their friends and relax as they eat together, laughing off the many moments of stress they accrued during their lessons. Lincoln sits with his friends Clyde McBride, Rusty Spokes, Liam Hunnicut, and Zach Gurdle, who all celebrate their last day at this school together over their food.
"Well, time to say goodbye to this old dump, and move on up to high school. It's gonna be the best days of our lives ahead of us now, eh, Linc?" Rusty asked.
"Yeah. Nice to finally move up." Lincoln said.
"And to think you almost didn't make it a couple of grades ago." Zach said.
"Huh?"
"You know. The whole Hillwood Effect report you did, the thing that made you a famous superhero and whatnot."
"Oh, that. You know, that was a whole ruse that my sister Lisa put me through."
"Ya still got a big ol' celebrity status, and all them superpowers. And all that cash you're rakin' in, where the rest of us gotta rake some yards for money." Liam said.
"Eh, the money is what it is. And I wouldn't go so far as to say I'm still a superhero. I just put on the face for everybody. Truth be told, though... I kind of miss being a real superhero."
"Really? Didn't you, like, really suck at it?" Rusty asked.
"Yeah, there are times I definitely did... but I still did a lot of good, including when I beat Silver Sentinel. You can't call that a sucky moment, can you?"
"I guess not."
"Besides, it did feel really great just being in the costume alone. You get to feel high and mighty, like you're not confined by the everyday problems of life, because your life is a lot more important, now that you've taken on the role of protecting others. It gives you a sense of belonging and place in the community around you, like everything finally makes sense and-"
"Lincoln, Lincoln, Lincoln! You're sperging off again."
"Oh, sorry. That's another thing. I feel like... I don't know, like there's someone missing from my life. There was a time when I could talk to myself, like I was talking to someone who was there, but... it's like they're not there anymore."
"Are you sure it's not just the N.S.A. on your smartphone? The Patriot Act gave the government full carte blanche to spy on all of us, you know." Zach said.
"No, it's not that. Aw, why am I even talking to you guys about this? You're just gonna make fun of me and say stupid stuff in response."
"Well, gee, you sure know how ta make a fella feel wanted, Linc." Liam sneered.
"Sorry. I guess this is just getting to me harder than I thought, and... Well, I can't talk to Clyde right now about it, because..."
The group shared a disgusted and pitying look at Clyde, who, silent the entire time, had put his attention towards his smartphone.
"Hey, Linc, what's Lori's JustFans again? I've been looking for it for almost 3 hours now." Cylde said.
"Clyde, for the last time, Lori does not have a JustFans." Lincoln said.
"Then how can she afford that fancy college she's going to, and all the stuff she puts in her dorm room? There's no way a woman like that doesn't make use of all her assets."
"She works at the mercado with the rest of the Casagrandes."
"Working for some rinky-dink mom-and-pop shop? That's beneath her. With my dads' credit cards, I can help her afford a Porsche if she'd only show me that pussy."
"Hey, speaking of pussy..." Rusty commented.
The group were then joined by the arriving Ronnie Anne and Stella, who arrived each with a tray of food, and each took a seat at Lincoln's sides.
"Hey, Lincoln." Ronnie Anne and Stella said in unison.
"Hi, girls." Lincoln said.
The greeting, followed by Stella and Ronnie Anne digging into their food, gave the table a quick moment of silence, but it was soon interrupted by the girls yet again.
"So, who won the debate? And why was it me?" Ronnie Anne asked.
"Huh?" Lincoln asked.
"You know, the big debate we just had. So, how'd I do beating down William F. Buckley over here?" Stella asked.
"Uh, yeah, uh, you both did real great, really."
"C'mon, Lincoln, give us some more details. Which point made did you agree the most with? Was it when I pointed out little miss commie's sense of entitlement to other people's hard work?" Ronnie Anne asked.
"Girls, please. I don't wanna take sides here. Why don't we just say you both did great and leave it at that?"
"The whole idea is you have to pick a side, Lincoln. Ronnie Anne thinks the whole world's a dog-eat-dog kind of place, but I actually believe in the concept of society and believe in making it work for everyone. What do you say?" Stella asked.
"Stella, Ronnie Anne, will you please? I know what you're trying to do. You're trying to make me finally break and pick one of you over the other. Well, it's not going to happen. I told you, we're all going to just focus on each other, and we're not gonna rush into anything. You're not gonna change my mind."
"Aw, c'mon, Linc, we have been working on ourselves! You know how much shit we had to read in order to get ready for this debate?" Ronnie Anne asked.
"Yeah. It's not like we don't have lives of our own. Maybe we'd like to have you be a part of it." Stella said.
"I am a part of your lives already. As a friend. Isn't that enough for now?" Lincoln asked.
Ronnie Anne and Stella went silent in response, themselves unsure of the definite answer, or if saying the wrong thing will hurt their chances.
"Hey, you gals are super-powered babes now, right? Why not forget all about Lincoln and explore your options? How about showing one of us what those superpowers of yours can do?" Rusty flirted.
Not taking kindly to Rusty's unwanted interjection, both Stella and Ronnie Anne used their heat vision to burn off his eyebrows, letting the ashes of his facial hairs fall to the table. Once maintaining a snarky, flirtatious expression, his first glance down at his incinerated eyebrows made him go cautious, sinking in his seat.
" Uh, okay, that'll do." Rusty whimpered.
"Whatever. I can wait as long as it takes. Besides, I know that I'm the clear winner." Ronnie Anne said.
"Why? Because you were here first? You might wanna re-read Craig Thompson's Blankets. Just because you think you were inseparable from your guy before, doesn't mean you won't lose him later." Stella said.
"You and I came away from that comic with very different interpretations." Lincoln added.
"Cope with it however you like, bitch. I'm still his first, and, to this date, only kiss. How much did he get out of you? Oh, that's right. A little peck on the cheek. That's weak shit." Ronnie Anne said.
Staying quiet in contemplation at Ronnie Anne's comment, Stella looked at Lincoln in thought, soon after grabbing him by the head and beginning to kiss him.
The kiss was one made much to Lincoln's dismay, still trying to hold to his standard of choosing neither girl, but Stella did not let that stop her, thrusting her tongue in his mouth to fully consummate the kiss. The act was made much to the anger of Ronnie Anne, who sat in quiet jealousy and rage, while the other boys watched on with excitement and cheered.
"Yeah, Lincoln!" Rusty cheered.
"Way to go, dude!" Zach cheered.
"Saddle up, partner!" Liam cheered.
Breaking off the kiss, Stella let Lincoln return to his seat, stirring in discomfort, while Ronnie Anne stayed silently vengeful.
"There. Now we're even." Stella said.
Smugly smiling at Ronnie Anne, Stella watched her seethe in silence, quietly planning her own revenge to be had on her.
Not leaving any time to let the group further comment on the forced act of intimacy, the school bell rang, signalling that the lunch hour was over. Normal circumstances would call the students to be sent to the next class, but, with this being the last day of the school year, not only is it a special day, but it is further marked by...
"Your speech! Lincoln, it's time for your speech, right?" Stella asked.
"Uh... Oh, yeah! I'll, uh, see all you guys in the school auditorium." Lincoln said.
The group all left the table in departure towards the school auditorium, getting ready to hear Lincoln's planned speech. The exception to this rule is Ronnie Anne Santiago, who, still seething in anger over the infringement over her perceived territory over Lincoln Loud, continued to form her plans of revenge.
And remembering the speech, she successfully gained one.
"So being his first kiss doesn't impress you, huh? Well, how about I get something else of his first, bitch?" Ronnie Anne thought aloud
As she is still in contact with the Observants, Ronnie Anne turned her head to you, sharing her plans in a vague and mischievous manner.
"You guys ever see Police Academy? Spoiler alert." Ronnie Anne said.
Gathering in the auditorium of Royal Woods Middle School, the students one and all seated themselves before the stage, sitting in wait for the school's most favorite student to address his classmates for the final time. Wearing Ace Savvy-themed T-shirts and merchandise, they make their support for Lincoln Loud clear, making his absence from the stage continue to whet their appetite for his appearance.
Still in wait, the students have their attention completely focused on the stage, and their attention is completely undivided. To get on the stage without getting the attention of the crowd at all is a task completely impossible; expecting one individual to show, to see another would stick out like a sore thumb.
But for someone such as Ronnie Anne, who now possesses super-speeds, it is less than a challenge to get where she needs to be. Running by in a flash, she flew at speeds that went past the area of visibility for a normal human eye to pick up, going completely unnoticed by the crowd...
"Did you feel a breeze?" One student asked.
"No." Another student answered.
...and discreetly did she hide under the podium onstage, hiding from the crowd and getting the perfect position to exact her revenge on Stella.
"Oh, this is gonna be so much fun." Ronnie Anne thought aloud.
With Ronnie Anne out of sight and out of mind, and the rest of the school unaware as to her planned antics, the event came to a start with the arrival of the school's principal, a wide-hipped Hispanic woman known as Principal Ramirez, stepping up to the podium to give an address to the school.
"Hello, hello, hello, everyone. I hope everyone's had a great final year here at Royal Woods Middle School, and learned a great deal to help you succeed in the real world, as well as forged a lot of great and strong friendships. School is a great opportunity for everyone to learn not only their place in the world through education, but through community with one another, acting as citizens in this great country on the smallest scale to work our way up to the big scale of adulthood. But today, we have an exceptional case to speak here today at the school. This individual is not only a student here just like all of you, but he's also made a very big difference in the world already. When there was a man posing as a superhero to exploit our beautiful city of Royal Woods, he was there to put a stop to him and bring justice to our town. Everyone, please put your hands together for your fellow classmate: Lincoln Loud!" Principal Ramirez cheered.
The class all rose in a standing ovation for the arrival of Lincoln Loud to the stage, who stepped up to the podium with his hands raised with his thumbs up, greeting the crowd back in thankfulness for their support. Even upon reaching the podium, the supportive cheers did not end until a few seconds that felt longer than they were, with the applause finally dying down.
"Hey, everybody. I wanna thank our principal for that lovely intro; I really enjoyed her impassioned tone, probably because I know she knows that she won't have to deal with us anymore. But wait until she sees the next grade." Lincoln joked
The class gave a laugh at Lincoln's joke, joining along with his light-hearted introduction to his speech.
"But there is another point to be made about what I did. I do love this country. After all, I share a name with one of its best presidents. But I also love superheroes. I feel like there's a connection between the two that many people don't notice. Ancient civilizations have all had their own mythologies, their stories about champions and heroes that battled against monsters and evil forces, and these myths persist to the modern-day world, passed down to other generations, but America's never really had anything quite like that. America's a relatively new country in comparison to the rest of the world. We haven't had a lot of time to develop its own mythology, where Greek, Roman, Norse, Chinese, Japanese, and other folklore have had hundreds of years to build. We've only had a few hundred years under our belts, but only recently have we had something that comes close to that same level of legend: The comic book. They've been around almost a hundred years themselves, and they've told stories about people that battled against evil beings for the good of the people. There's millions of comics out there, but, at the core of it, there's still a few archetypes that persist and get stolen from, like myths of old, and those are the characters we often look up to and cite as personal influences today. The modern world now is a lot different. Now, we've got the real thing coming in our cities. We've got the myths all coming to life. I was one of them. At least when it was my time to be one. Even the myths and heroes need to lay down their swords eventually. But I'm proud of what I did, and I'm glad I did my city right. And if I just so happened to be needed to do it again, well... I'll be happy to serve my country again. And I'll make sure not to blow anything up by accident this time." Lincoln spoke.
The final jest got a laugh out of the crowd, but the bulk of his speech gained a large, roaring applause, dying down only after a long stretch of time.
"Now, since this whole day's been about us and how we fit into our country, I'd like to end with reciting the pledge of allegiance. If you don't wanna do it, that's totally fine, that's your right. But if you do, I ask you guys to stand up with me and say it with me. You just might find it a little more invigorating and exciting than you might think." Lincoln said.
Putting his hand on his chest as the overwhelming majority of the students did, Lincoln prepared to recite the pledge, but, before a word could come out of his mouth, he felt a hand go for his fly and heard his zipper go down, prompting him to look down with confused, narrowed eyes...
...only to find Ronnie Anne underneath the podium, looking back at him with a mischievous smile, and his own eyes going wide and afraid.
" No... No, no, no, no... Ronnie Anne... No..." Lincoln whispered.
His pleas were combined with his hand making a cutting motion by his neck, desperately trying to get Ronnie Anne to stop, but his awareness of his surroundings led him to notice the crowd was still waiting on him. Trying not to arouse suspicion (or himself), Lincoln feigned an itch on his neck, covering up his nonverbal gesture to Ronnie Anne.
Putting his hand back on his chest, he cleared his throat, getting ready to say the pledge.
"I pledge allegiance to the flaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAaaagggg..." Lincoln jumped.
Lincoln's outburst of pleasure raised some eyebrows with the crowd, but they remained silent as Lincoln valiantly tried to carry on.
"...to... the... United States of... America..." Lincoln moaned.
Taking a nervous gulp, Lincoln took a moment to pant, attempting to compose himself.
"...and to the rep... PUBlic... for which it erect- stands..." Lincoln moaned.
Keeping one hand on his chest, the other went to the podium, gripping it tightly.
"...one nation... Oh, god... Ahem... With liberty and justice for-" Lincoln tried to say.
Then, both of his hands went to the podium, and he thrusted his hips forward, feeling the inevitable release brought by Ronnie Anne's efforts.
" AAAAAHHHHH! AAAAAAAHHHHH! AAAAAAAAAHHHH! OOOOHHHH! OOOOOHHHH! OOOOOHHHH! NGH... AH, AH, AH, AH! Ha.. ha... ha... Ah..." Lincoln screamed.
The audience now looked to him with looks of confusion and discomfort, but Lincoln simply looked on with a thousand-yard stare of pleasure, eeking out...
" ...all." Lincoln finished.
Despite the sudden outburst of pleasure, of which none could explicably understand, the school all applauded Lincoln, to which he responded with a bow.
"Thank you, thank you. I, uh, hope this was as much fun for all of you as it was for me. I'd like to, uh, turn the mike back to Principal Ramirez now." Lincoln said.
Stepping away with quivering legs, Lincoln let the principal take the podium, who looked back at Lincoln with a face just as baffled as the audience.
"Well, um, thank you, Mr. Loud, for such a... passionate rendition of the pledge. Now, before we go, we also do have opportunities for early college applications and dual enrollment opportunities, you can find out about those..." Principal Ramirez spoke.
Caring not for the principal's career offerings, Lincoln quickly stepped off the stage to depart to the restroom, immediately going to the sink and getting cold water in his hands. Splashing the water on his face, he rubbed it across himself, attempting to calm himself down from the excitement he had garnered.
Putting his hands on the counter, he held his head down, taking several deep breaths to try to calm himself further.
"So, how was it, Lincoln?" Ronnie Anne asked.
Feeling yet another unwanted stimulation of his raw nerves bring him to excitement, Lincoln jumped up in a scream, turning around to see Ronnie Anne.
"Ronnie Anne, what are you doing?! This is the men's room!" Lincoln panicked.
"Relax, there's no one else in here. I checked with an X-ray scan. Also, your prostate's looking a lot healthier now that I took care of it. Having more orgasms staves off prostate cancer, you know, you don't want that." Ronnie Anne said.
"Ronnie Anne, what you did was very uncalled for."
"I didn't see you trying to stop me."
"I said 'no' multiple times, and gave you a hand motion not to stop."
"You should've tried harder, then."
"I didn't want to make a scene and get you in trouble."
"Oh, what are they gonna do? Expel me? It's the last day any of us have to be here, they won't be able to do shit. Anyway, you sure sounded like you enjoyed it."
"I don't want to have this conversation with you right now."
"By the way, those plutonium pills Lisa makes you take make you taste metallic. If I didn't have these powers, I might've gotten cancer, like that one Spider-Man comic."
" Spider-Man: Reign."
"Yeah, that's the one. You know, there was a missed opportunity to make that dumb idea kind of funny if they said it was colon cancer."
"Can you please?! You know, what you did could technically be classified as rape. What if it was me doing that to you if you were giving a speech?"
"Ooh, is that a promise? Does that mean you're finally dumping Stella?"
"NO! How many times do I have to tell you guys?! I'm not picking either of you yet! And, by the way, stuff like this isn't going to help your case. It's just making me angrier."
"Well, I could always do it again. We are alone in here, after all. And, by the way, there's no way Stella can give better head than me. I can tell just by looking at her."
Sent beyond frustration with Ronnie Anne, Lincoln angrily left the men's restroom, stomping out to seek a moment alone. Ronnie Anne, raging with hormones of her own, and too brash and youthful to fully map out her feelings and sense of right and wrong, was left with a pitting feeling in her stomach, seeming to finally realize she was in the wrong.
She can feel your judging eyes upon her, and she looks back to you with shame and embarrassment, hiding it with a joke.
"Oh, come on. Like you wouldn't get a little frisky at 14." Ronnie Anne snarked.
The school day moved on until it came time for gym and sports, where the students were all put through various exercises and trials to maintain their bodily health. With this being the last day of the school year, the class was put through more than their usual share of exercises, giving them one final good insurance that they would be kept in good shape for the rest of the year.
The current exercise they are going under, as well as their last exercise for the class, is a challenge of how many push-ups the students can go through. The majority make it no further than 30, with some athletes making it to 40 or 50. Lincoln, once conditioned to do 200 during his days as a superhero, has gone soft over the years, yet still squeezing out 70.
The clear winners are Stella and Ronnie Anne, who, with their superpowers, do their push-ups at subsonic speeds, and reach somewhere in the thousands. Those who have concluded their exercise watch the two girls go on with a fascination that brings both jealousy and an inability to comprehend, leaving them all completely silent.
Eventually, the coach grew bored by watching the two, knowing that they would not find a stopping point, and blew a whistle to call the challenge over.
"Alright, Ms. Santiago, Ms. Zhau, how many did you each do? I lost count." The coach asked.
"4,284." Stella said.
"4,285, I won!" Ronnie Anne shouted.
"Well, Royal Woods High School is gonna have a hell of a hard time trying to find some exercises to test you two, they might have to start getting entire skyscrapers for you to bench-press. Anyway, that's it for today. You kids get some water, then hit the showers." The coach said.
Leaving the children to attend to his other affairs, the coach dismissed the students to rehydrate from the hot summer day, grouping up with each other to chat regarding their respective school days. Ronnie Anne and Stella, however, shared sneers at each other, with Ronnie Anne maintaining a smug smile of superiority in her minor achievement.
"Nice try, ladyboy. I'm sure you'll do better next time." Ronnie Anne said.
"For the last time, I'm not Thai, and that's an extremely racist stereotype. I'm Filipino." Stella said.
"The joke applies to all south Asians."
"The only reason you can do that many is because you have your powers, and it's only because of me you have them, you know."
"And you're the idiot who gave me them. I believe you said you wanted to have an 'equal playing field' on getting Lincoln? Buyer's remorse much on those bleeding heart liberal ideas?"
"Man, what is with you today? Is this just a hormonal imbalance day, or are you usually this bitchy and I just tune it out?"
"Nope. I just thought you might like to know I finally 1-upped you on Lincoln. I became another one of his firsts."
"What?"
"Oh, I'm not gonna tell you. I'm just gonna let it linger in your mind rent-free."
"Yeah, right. And I suppose you'd be saying that he goes to another school if he wasn't at this one?"
"Ha-ha. Believe whatever you want, Stella. I'm gonna hit the shower."
Departing to the showers, Ronnie Anne left Stella to contemplate her gloating, beginning to ponder just what she implied by her statement.
Concurrently, Lincoln, tired from his workout, relaxed on the field alongside Clyde, drinking a bottle of water to hydrate himself against the water his body lost through sweat. Rather than take a reasonable approach like his best friend, Clyde laid down and made discreet grunting sounds, holding a strained look on his face.
"Clyde, what are you doing?" Lincoln asked.
"I'm doing my kegels. They help maintain your erection and make your ejaculations stronger. I'm practicing for my wedding night with Lori." Clyde said.
"Clyde, for the love of god, that's not gonna happen. Why are you continuing to delude yourself like this? This is embarrassing."
"I'm working towards a goal, Lincoln. It's good to have a goal in life. Like when you had your goal of being a superhero."
The mentioning of Lincoln's past as a hero had once again brought him to deeper contemplation, looking back on the past with uncertainty towards the future.
"Yeah, well... I don't know. I still kind of miss it. It's like... you had that one high in life, and nothing else really compares. I mean, can you picture me being a construction worker or an office worker and being just as happy there as I was back then? I'd be living like a has-been, like the one guy who peaked in high school and always talks about it. I don't wanna be that." Lincoln said.
"You never know, man. I'm sure there's something you can find to do that makes you happy. I'm gonna become a sexologist and learn all about female anatomy, so I can give Lori the best orgasms of her life and make her forget all about Bobby and leave him for me." Clyde said.
" Ugh...Yeah, whatever, Clyde."
Getting no help out of Clyde, Lincoln laid back and looked at the sky in discontent. His silence was momentary as Stella arrived towards him, happily greeting him.
"Hey, Linc." Stella said.
"Oh, hey, Stella." Lincoln said.
"That was a... very interesting speech you gave today. Particularly how you handled the pledge of allegiance."
"Oh, yeah, uh, that was... It was whatever."
"Hey, you alright, Lincoln? You're looking about a million miles away right now."
"Just thinking."
"About what?"
"Just... stuff. About growing up again."
Stella seated herself next to Lincoln, compassionately listening to his concerns.
"Anything you want to share?" Stella asked.
"Well... nothing I haven't already. Just missing the glory days when I was a superhero, and life was a lot more exciting than what it is now. I just feel so busy and frustrated." Lincoln said.
"Yeah, I know how that feels. Nobody likes having to grow up, huh?"
"No. But... I don't mean to sound mean when I say this... I just can't stand seeing you and Ronnie Anne fight over me like this. I wanted us all to be friends, but you two always butt heads with each other, all in a game to get me. I told you guys, I'm not ready for that."
"I'm sorry, Lincoln. It's just... We had such a good time together when we were dating, and... Like you said, it's a high that doesn't compare to anything else. I do value you as a person, and I don't wanna rush you, but... Well, I'm a human being with feelings, and I can't help but feel the way I feel."
"It's my feelings, too."
"I know that. And the last thing I wanna do is hurt them. And I do like being your friend."
"I know. I like being your friend, too. But when you do forceful things like kiss me in front of everybody, it just makes me feel so used."
"Ugh... I'm sorry, Lincoln. That was really stupid of me. I don't know what comes over me, it's Ronnie Anne and her smug attitude, I just feel this need to put that bitch in her place and make her-"
Recognizing her aggressive attitude, Stella stopped herself short, not wishing to wastefully indulge on angry emotions.
"Sorry. I know, I know, you want us to be friends. But it really does feel like she doesn't want that, and I don't know how to work around that. And I'm trying my best." Stella said.
"Well, at least I know you wouldn't go so far as to suck me off under the podium to get back at Ronnie Anne like she did today." Lincoln said.
"Heh, yeah, that would- Come again?"
Realizing the potential problem that he rose from mentioning the incident, Lincoln now sported an uncertain face and demeanor.
"Uh... Nothing?" Lincoln asked.
"Lincoln. Is that what happened at the end of your speech?" Stella asked.
"...Yes?"
Without another word, Stella stood back up, marching off to the showers in response. Fearing what would happen next between the two, Lincoln nervously festered in his seat, already beginning to ponder the possibilities of what would ensue from what he said.
"Oh, no." Lincoln said.
"Shouldn't you go stop her?" Clyde asked.
"I don't know... I was always taught never to come between girls when they fight."
"Then can you teach me how to get Lori to do that to me?"
Astounded at Clyde's complete lack of priorities and the depths of his delusions, Lincoln merely turned to look at Clyde following his question.
In the girls' showers of the school, the female students of the school washed themselves down, cleansing off the sweat and dirt they accumulated from their gym class to feel fresh and clean again. Ronnie Anne, while showering and cleansing herself, gossiped with fellow classmate Girl Jordan regarding her recent sexcapade.
"You really blew him under the podium? How'd you get under there?" Girl Jordan asked.
"Super-speed. I can move faster than the human eye can see. And Lincoln tried his best to hold it in, but I managed to finish him off pretty quick." Ronnie Anne bragged.
"Damn, girl. That one's definitely going in the hall of fame. You gonna take his V-card?"
"Trying to get there. He's a tougher nut to crack than he is to bust. He's still torn between me and that bitch Stella."
"Oh, come on, Stella's a nice girl. I can see why Lincoln likes her."
"Stella? Oh, she's a total wimp and a pushover. After my little podium fun, it's only a matter of time before he comes back for more. It's like drugs: You give 'em one little hit, and they'll come right back for more in no time."
"Maybe, maybe not. It's not just the personality you gotta worry about. Boob size also plays a factor. She beats you by about a cup."
"I got a much better ass, though. I'm way more athletic than her. I could absolutely beat the shit of of that little brat anytime I wanted. She's less than nothing, and she'll be back out the picture in no time."
"What about that time she went supervillain because of you? You don't think she has the balls to fight back?"
"No way. She was a bad guy for, like, 10 seconds. She'll flip-flop like nobody's business."
In between all the gossiping and trash talk, Stella, stripping off her dirty clothes, discreetly stepped into the showers, angrily yet silently approaching the offending Ronnie Anne. The other girls still in the showers, noticing a pair of eyes glowing red with heat vision on her face, immediately recognized the danger and silently ran out of the showers, some not bothering to rinse out their shampoo or cover with a towel.
The instincts of self-preservation win against the needs for decency or cleanliness, and it soon comes to Girl Jordan as she began shaving her armpit. While running the razor down her armpit, her eyes widened upon seeing the approaching Stella, accidentally cutting into her own skin and breaking the razor against it.
Ignoring the pain of the cut, Girl Jordan also departed, leaving Ronnie Anne unknowingly talking to herself.
"It's too bad she won't win Lincoln over, either. He's also pretty big for a guy his age. I've used my X-ray vision to compare with his friends, and they don't come close. Also, did you know Liam has scabies?" Ronnie Anne asked.
Not hearing a response from Girl Jordan, Ronnie Anne opened her eyes to see her gone, and, upon turning around, found Stella staring her down with glowing red eyes.
Back outside on the field...
"You don't think that mentioning that's gonna lead to some major incident?" Clyde asked.
"C'mon, Clyde, it's the end of the school year, and we're all going on summer vacation. What's the worst thing that can happen on the last school day?" Lincoln asked.
Before an answer could be made to Lincoln, the loud crashing of concrete could be heard across the field, originating from a hole blown in the wall to the girls' shower room, and a beam of red hot heat vision coming out of it. Also coming out from the hole was the body of Ronnie Anne Santiago, crashing into the field several yards away.
A crater was left where she landed, and, upon picking herself out of the hole, she stood up with a grunt, holding her head and back in pain. Upon opening her eyes again, she looked to see the furious and incoming Stella Zhau, flying straight towards her with both fists extended in attack.
Standing back up as the attack approached, Ronnie Anne met her with an uppercut, sending her flight into the air.
[Soundtrack Cue: Lords of Acid - Young Boys]
Kneeling down to charge up a jump, Ronnie Anne flew back up after the inversely-freefalling Stella, preparing to continue her attack in a sonic boom.
Upon reaching Stella, she prepared to throw a punch, but Stella caught it in mid-flight, punching Ronnie Anne back with a fist sent directly to her face, in turn sending her flying back in the air. Flying back towards her, Stella continued her attack by continuously beating her with several punches, making them fly across Royal Woods in their fight.
Gaining a bearing on herself again, Ronnie Anne caught Stella's punching fists, using her knee to bash her enemy in her groin, making the hard bone of her kneecap direcly impact her sensitive anatomy, making Stella groan and grasp herself in pain, nearly vomiting at the dirty move.
Raising her combined fist in the air, Ronnie Anne bashed Stella in the head, sending her flying straight down to the ground. Her impact with the ground was made in the concrete of the road, leaving a crater of destruction in the street that instantly brought traffic to a stop.
Looking up to see the incoming Ronnie Anne with a blast of heat vision out of her eyes, Stella flew away to retreat from the incoming attack, leaving the energy blast to merely deepen the crater she left. Adjusting her flight to go after Stella, Ronnie Anne pursued her down the streets of Royal Woods, continuing to trade blows with one another as they flew.
Coming face-to-face once again, they started once again trading punches and kicks, backing up their strikes with superhuman speeds and strength, creating impacts that, both landing and blocked, created shockwaves that shattered glass and blew away several objects throughout the city, on top of the jet-level speeds they flew at.
In addition to mass property damage, their fight also had the unintended consequence of doubling as a case of streaking across the entire city; as both had been previously occupying the showers, and never took the time to dress before their fight, their battle also included exposing themselves throughout the town for everyone to see, leaving many shocked and offended at the sight.
Once known as the unofficial girlfriends of a celebrity superhero, Stella and Ronnie Anne also do damage to their own statuses as celebrities, and anger the townspeople of Royal Woods by tarnishing their own images with this incident, and cover the eyes of their children in response.
Some are simply too shocked to do anything but stand and stare, such as the parents of Darcy Helmandollar, who looked at the battle with a much different reaction.
"I like girls now." Darcy said.
Their battle also came near the gas station known as Flip's Food and Fuel, who the cheapskate owner of the business currently sold a sno-cone to a child.
"Here you are, sonny-boy, you're the first customer to try to very first Flippee-Cone, made special with my patented Windex- Er, I mean, uh, blue raspberry flavoring." Flip said.
The child happily reached his mouth towards the sno-cone to consume the frozen treat, but the sonic boom of Stella and Ronnie Anne flying by resulted in the contents of the sno-cone flying off the paper cone, leaving the child unable to try his treat. Looking back to Flip with a saddened, begging face, the shop owner made a quick and immediate response.
"No free refills." Flip said.
The aerial battle continued across the city until it finally went past a squadron police car, who, upon seeing them fly by indecently, drove after with their siren raised.
"Headquarters, we got a problem with the Dirty Pair again. Apparently, they decided to have a fight across town buck naked. We're gonna need some backup on this one." The police car driver called.
Soon, their battle made its way back to the grounds of Royal Woods Middle School once again, where it was observed by the students of the entire school, watching the two continue their battle. The one whom their battle was on behalf of, Lincoln Loud, watched the fight with complete despair and frustration, feeling personally responsible for all damage being dealt as a result of their fight.
"Oh, no... Oh, no... We are in so much trouble right now... This is gonna cost so much to have taken care of... Clyde, can you talk to Ryan for me? I'm having too big a headache to deal with this right now." Lincoln said
Lincoln offered Clyde his cell phone, who then contacted his agent through speed-dial.
"Ryan? We got a problem. Code Dante. I repeat, Code Dante." Clyde said.
Still did the two girls continue to beat each other senseless while in the air, each one desperately trying to defeat the other in a mindless beatdown fueled by thousands of years of evolutionary territorial instincts. Combined with metahuman abilities that few, if not no, mortal men on this power possess, they are out for blood and unable to stop.
Eventually, the fight comes to a new turn when Ronnie Anne grabbed hold of Stella and flew straight down in a rapid descent, aiming to take her out in a suicidal dive. Unable to free herself from Ronnie Anne's grip, Stella was stuck in her hold and in for the ride, forced to try to withstand the impact.
[Soundtrack Cue End]
Landing in the ground with loud, bomb-like blast, both Ronnie Anne and Stella laid down in defeat, both nearly drained of all their energy, and panting to recover from the battle they just put themselves through. Soon picking themselves back up, they glared at each other with anger and hatred, grabbing one another by the throat.
Finally, the fight was put to an end as Lincoln rushed straight to the two, frantically waving his arms as he shouted.
"Guys, guys, guys! Stop it! You're destroying half the city! What is wrong with-" Lincoln began to shout.
Lincoln's concerns and shouting came to an immediate end as he approached the two; seeing the two fully disrobed before him, all conscious thought in his brain immediately ceased, leaving him standing stupefied and silent, only able to gawk and babble with a blushing face, much to the confusion of Stella and Ronnie Anne.
"Lincoln? What's wrong?" Stella asked.
"Hey, Lame-O, you okay? Earth to Lincoln?" Ronnie Anne asked.
"Na- Na- Na- Na- Naked... Naked..." Lincoln stammered.
Upon looking down at themselves, the girls noticed their current lack of clothing, and, soon after, they noticed that several male students were running up and cheering, pulling out their smartphones and immediately taking pictures. Now recognizing the bigger problem at hand, they both covered themselves, screaming in anger and frustration.
In retaliation, they shot the phones of the students out of their hands with heat vision, destroying as much evidence of the incident as they could.
"Great. At least it can't get any worse from here." Ronnie Anne said.
Then, police sirens started to sound, signalling the arrival of the police, making both the girls groan in anger.
"You just had to say it, didn't you?" Stella asked.
Over an hour of time is spent over the affair of the fight the two faced, with most of the anger coming from the school and police regarding the antics of Ronnie Anne and Stella. Having been contacted on the phone earlier, the agent of Lincoln Loud, the opportunistic Ryan Levine, is the one who negotiates with both parties, and, the Hollywood type he is, successfully talked his way out of any trouble for the girls.
Most of this is helped by several pieces of paper bearing the image of Benjamin Franklin, which were handed off to both the police and school faculty.
"I'm glad we could all come to an agreement. After all, these are just kids we're talking about here, and we don't need any little... mistakes like these holding these bright young girls from a future, now, do we?" Ryan asked.
"Well, a bright future for children is what we're all about, and I suppose that wall and field needed renovations, anyway." Principal Ramriez said.
"And we've had some reports of UFOs made here and there, I'm sure we can just chalk this off as one of those inexplicable mysteries. We've got murders to deal with, after all, we can't go off on wild goose chases." The officer said.
Having successfully handled the local government forces, Ryan made his way to Lincoln, finding him leaning on a fence in frustration, heartily patting him on the back.
"C'mon, kiddo, you don't realize just how big you scored here. Two girls buck naked, fighting over you? You know how many actors I run into who have that kind of fantasy? You are one lucky son-of-a-bitch, Lincoln. And don't get me started on that BJ under the podium stunt, Ronnie Anne just gave so much ammunition to E! and TMZ, your stock just went sky-high. Well worth a few convenience fees to the locals." Ryan said.
"Not now, Ryan. You just do your thing, I need some time alone." Lincoln said.
Lincoln stepped away to find time for himself, holding his head down in despair.
"Hey, wait, Linc! We got that gig on Oprah soon, that might get bumped up the schedule after this! And we're having a special with Dr. Phil on his podcast, he's already been talking about your big speech, doing a psychoanalysis on superheroes!" Ryan called.
Lincoln paid no mind to the material concerns of his agent, stepping into his limousine in waiting with his head still sunk down.
"Hey, Linc. Helluva day, hasn't it been?" Kirby asked.
Lincoln did not reply to Kirby, still stuck in his own frustrations and anger. Kirby, in response, stayed quiet, not wishing to push his passenger at a weak moment.
The doors to the limousine opened again, with Ronnie Anne and Stella stepping inside and each taking a seat by Lincoln. Both had remained quiet upon entering, and Lincoln had nothing to say to the two when they entered, but this silence was soon broken in an attempt to make speech.
"Hey, Linc? We're, uh, we're really sorry about what happened." Stella said.
"Get out." Lincoln said.
"Lincoln, look, it was really dumb. We were both being idiots. I'm sorry, so is Stella, we're trying to-" Ronnie Anne tried to say.
"Get... out."
Sharing a look to each other, Stella and Ronnie Anne exited the limo, leaving Lincoln alone as he requested.
"So, where to, Linc?" Kirby asked.
"Home." Lincoln said.
"You got it."
Setting the limo in drive, Kirby began driving off the scene, taking Lincoln back to his destination of home, where he hoped to forget the day.
"You know, kid, we all make our mistakes, but we also know when to make up for 'em. You oughtta call 'em back or something." Kirby said.
"Not now, Kirby. This day's already been horrible already. Just let me have some quiet." Lincoln said.
"...Alright."
Leaving Lincoln in peace as requested, Kirby left the boy to fester in his thoughts, still uncomfortable and disappointed after the events of the day. Already had it began with a nostalgic desire to return to a better time in his life, and, having the pressures of the adult matters of dating and love trouble him further, he cannot do anything else but feel sorry for himself, the poor little rich boy he is.
As materially well-off and popular he is, it is no substitute for what he truly needs in life:
Guidance.