Chapter 3: The Hope

When Esmeralda was feeling better, she and Claude made a visit to the Court of Miracles. Clopin had been missing Esmeralda's company, so it was a good time for her to see him and a few other friends, including Djali. The little goat was overjoyed by the return of his best human friend, as it was overdue for him to spend a few days with her. Djali normally spent a few days with Clopin followed by a few days with Esmeralda. It was a healthy arrangement now that Esmeralda lived in the Palace of Justice, since Djali loved to be around her as well as Clopin and the Court of Miracles. Esmeralda was thankful that Claude was happy with this arrangement, since she'd had some concern in the past about him getting along with Djali. But one of the many surprising things Esmeralda had learned about Claude was that he was rather an animal lover. He liked Djali, and Djali liked him now that he recognized Claude as someone close to Esmeralda. So Claude was just as eager as Esmeralda to end up leaving with Djali in tow, trotting between the two of them affectionately.

Their next stop was to visit Quasimodo, who had a house in town now. It had been an intimidating move, but Claude had happily helped his adopted son build a house for himself and start a business. At that point Quasimodo had already spent much time out of the confines of the belltower, so his fears of the outside world had already been greatly reduced. Still, Claude had protectively insisted on making his relationship to Quasimodo very clear to the neighborhood. In the first week of his woodwork business, everyone who had come to Quasimodo's shop had seen him being assisted by none other than the Minister of Justice. Even when he was in civilian clothes, plus an apron and gloves to protect him from splintering wood, Claude Frollo had an intimidating effect on anyone who might want to cause harm. Despite his past reputation for being anything but just, Claude was now well known for his sense of justice and protective nature. Working with Quasimodo sent a message to all that anyone who was unkind to the former bell ringer would have an angry Judge Frollo to deal with.

With that being common knowledge, Quasimodo's move had been a smooth transition. If any of the townspeople had disliked him coming to live among them, they had not shown it. And by now, it was practically a non-concern. Quasimodo had come to be accepted by the community as the local woodcarver. No one was too bothered by his appearance anymore, now that they'd gotten to know him as a perfectly nice and normal person. And for his woodwork, he had gained plenty of business and appreciation in town. Life was good for Quasimodo, and Claude was thankful that he'd been able to facilitate that. Although he was now forgiven for the unloving way he'd raised the boy, the judge felt that he would never fully finish making up for it. He would only do his best by being a much better father for the rest of his days.

Quasimodo was thrilled when Claude and Esmeralda paid him a visit. He greeted them both with hugs and said he'd missed them. He also greeted Djali by petting the goat's fur. Naturally, Quasimodo wanted to hear all about the trip to Italy, so the couple relayed their adventures to him.

"It was great fun." Esmeralda reported. "We should really bring you there someday!"

"Oh, I'd love that!" Quasimodo said enthusiastically. "But I would definitely want Elaine to be there!"

"Has Elaine been around here recently?" Claude asked.

"Yes, all the time." Quasimodo replied happily. "We have lunch together most days, and I've met her and Jean for dinner a few times!"

Everyone was happy for Quasimodo and Elaine, who were quite visibly in love these days. Even the archdeacon, Jean, was very supportive of his niece's relationship with the former bell ringer. It seemed very likely that Jean would be the one to pronounce them husband and wife soon. In fact, it was a little surprising that this hadn't happened already.

"I think everyone is curious," Claude started. "if we will be attending a wedding soon."

Quasimodo suddenly looked uneasy.

"Oh." He muttered. "Well... Someday, yes. I'm not sure I feel ready right now."

Claude wondered why Quasimodo was still hesitant to marry Elaine. His relationship with her was a very close and loving one, so it almost seemed automatic for them to marry at this point.

"What is stopping you?" Claude questioned.

"I just feel like I need to catch up on life a little more." Quasimodo explained. "I haven't even lived out here for half a year. It's going well, but I still think I need to experience it a little longer before taking the next step."

"That's perfectly fine." Esmeralda assured. "There's really no rush. I'm sure Elaine understands!"

"Indeed." Claude agreed.

He was a little surprised that Quasimodo wasn't excitedly rushing to marry Elaine, but perhaps it was a good thing that he wasn't. He was still new to living in town when you compared that time to his twenty years in the belltower. Getting used to working and living alone under his own roof would make him more ready for married life.

"Anyway," Quasimodo said cheerfully. "when are the two of you going to have children? It feels like you've been talking about it for so long!"

Claude realized that it had been quite some time since he and Esmeralda had first started to talk of children. They'd only been trying for three months, but the desire had come several months before that. How long would it actually be before they managed to conceive? Especially in light of their recent conversation about the delay, the wait was becoming a bit concerning.

Still, Claude answered positively.

"Soon, I think." He said with a forced smile.

"It could still be a while." Esmeralda admitted. "But probably not long, now."

She smiled at her husband hopefully.

Claude hoped that Esmeralda wouldn't be made to stop smiling like that.

There was something concerning about the fact that Claude and Esmeralda were no closer to having a child than they'd been three months ago. Claude had been the one to reassure his wife when she was worried about this, but he was secretly starting to be bothered by it. On one hand, it had only been three months. That wasn't nearly enough time to indicate infertility, some couples took many months to conceive. But on the other hand, pregnancy often occurred easily. From Claude's personal experience, most of the couples he'd met had started to have children quickly after getting married. Some had even conceived as early as the wedding night. Esmeralda had observed that ease in others as well...

But what really concerned Claude wasn't the wait itself, but the fact that it happened despite the way he and Esmeralda had been trying. He suspected that some couples took longer to conceive because they were less sexually active, but that was not the case in this marriage. Claude had easily lost count of the number of times he'd made love to his wife in the last few months. They desired each other more than most couples probably did, since they were so in love and so talented at making each other feel good. It seemed almost impossible to have sex as often as they did, and with the intention of having a child, but still see no signs of pregnancy at this point.

It didn't necessarily mean anything. There was no reason to assume that a baby was not in the couple's future. But there was not an adequate reason to assume the opposite either, and that made Claude worry.

He was starting to look for answers in books. Most of what he read was not helpful, but at one point he noticed some words in a book that made him stop in wonder.

A woman's pleasure is the key to pregnancy. Some men will wonder why they father no children, with the simple answer being that their wives are not pleased. For intercourse to accomplish the goal of producing a child, it is imperative that the woman enjoys the act.

Claude stared at the words, dumbfounded.

Surely this couldn't be true. Almost all married couples had children, and Claude heavily doubted that most men had the thoughtfulness to make sure they pleased their wives in bed. Besides, Claude didn't need to wonder if Esmeralda enjoyed making love to him. She always enjoyed it.

...Or did she?

The question seemed silly at first. Claude thought of the way Esmeralda always looked at him with desire, and the way she reacted to him in bed. And if her expressions and physical responses were not enough to tell him that she enjoyed it, she did not hold back when it came to telling him what she thought of those experiences. Esmeralda often told Claude that she enjoyed being intimate with him. Surely she wasn't lying!

Then again, Claude knew what a kind person his wife was. The idea of her stretching the truth to make him feel better wasn't entirely hard to imagine. It didn't quite match the tone of their relationship, they were habitually very honest with one another, but Claude considered the possibility that things may not be what they seemed to be.

Was it really possible that he'd been failing to please her this whole time? Could there be something he was doing wrong?

"Are you coming to bed?"

Claude closed the book when he heard Esmeralda's voice. Without leaving his desk, he looked over his shoulder to the doorway of his study, where Esmeralda stood invitingly.

"I'm coming." Claude assured. "My work is done for the day."

"Oh, good!" Esmeralda said cheerfully. "I was hoping you might have time for a little fun tonight."

She looked at him seductively.

Days had passed since their conversation about Esmeralda's worries. She was in a better mood now, since that topic was no longer on her mind and she'd stopped bleeding. Claude was glad to see it, and he was glad that she wanted him.

He smirked to show that he was interested.

"Why don't you shut the door?" He suggested.

Esmeralda became excited, quickly closing the door and walking up to her husband.

"Feeling adventurous?" She asked eagerly.

"Very." Claude responded, putting his hands on her waist when she was in front of him.

She leaned down and kissed him while climbing onto his lap. Claude held onto her firmly and kissed her with all of his energy.

"You're really in the mood!" Esmeralda commented when she broke the kiss for a breath.

Claude chuckled.

He certainly was in the mood for her, but that wasn't his only reason for being so energetic. He had to make sure of something.

Pulling her toward him, he brought his lips to her neck. She gasped excitedly as he made a trail of kisses up her neck, slightly biting. Claude worked his hands up her body, finding her collar and pulling it down, revealing the top of her chest. He started to take his kisses over her shoulder and down past her collar bones, meanwhile grabbing her breasts through her shirt.

"Claude..." Esmeralda murmured.

Claude stopped at the sound. He pulled back and looked at her face.

"Enjoying yourself?" He asked.

Esmeralda nodded, a euphoric expression on her face.

Claude smiled, though a part of him was second guessing things.

What if she isn't enjoying it as much as she seems to? What if that is the cause of our problem? What if this is my fault for not pleasing her?

But he couldn't think of that for long. He had to focus now.

Esmeralda leaned in to kiss him again. They continued intensely until finally moving to the bedroom for more comfort.

"How did you get so good in bed?" Esmeralda asked. "When we met you didn't have any experience."

Claude smiled suggestively while running his fingers through her hair.

"I simply pay attention to what you like." He explained.

Esmeralda smiled.

They both lay comfortably in bed, Esmeralda's head resting on Claude's chest. Almost as nice as the sensation of sex was the peacefulness that came after it, lying together naked and talking to each other adoringly.

"So you enjoyed yourself?" Claude asked.

"Do you even need to ask?" Esmeralda chuckled.

Claude wanted to laugh with her, but instead he frowned worriedly.

"Do you always enjoy yourself?" He asked.

Esmeralda noticed his tone and raised her head off his chest to look at him.

"...Yes." She replied confusedly. "Is that not obvious?"

"Well..." Claude started uneasily. "It is, but I feel I should be asking."

"I always tell you I enjoy it." Esmeralda reminded. "Why are you worried?"

Claude now wished he hadn't said anything. He didn't want to explain what he'd been reading earlier, since that would once again bring up the topic of their struggle.

"Never mind." Claude brushed off. "It was stupid of me to ask."

"What's wrong?" Esmeralda asked. "Tell me, please."

Claude sighed. It was best to admit his fear at this point if he didn't want her to worry.

"Some people think..." He started. "That women don't become pregnant if they're not... pleased."

Esmeralda looked at him in disbelief.

"You don't really believe that, do you?" She asked. "It's definitely not true. I guarantee you, not every woman who's ever had children was pleased!"

"I know it's absurd." Claude admitted. "I shouldn't have given it a thought, but this situation is troubling me. With how active we've been, I thought it would have worked by now. I don't understand, so I've been looking for-"

"A way to blame yourself?" Esmeralda interrupted.

It suddenly occurred to Claude that maybe he'd been doing just that. He'd learned not long ago that he had an awful habit of blaming himself for things. It was a habit he was breaking, but there were still times when he was inclined to accept fault that wasn't his.

"...Perhaps." Claude admitted.

Esmeralda looked at him sadly.

"Claude," She said softly. "I'll be sad if we're not able to have a baby, but if we can't it won't be your fault."

Claude closed his eyes, reminiscing about something.

"There was a young married couple who lived next to me when I was a prosecutor." He shared. "I knew them for years, and in that time they were never able to have any children together. And it apparently wasn't due to lack of effort, they both always spoke of how hard they were trying. Then... The husband became ill and died. I didn't see his widow again until some years later. By then she'd gotten remarried and moved to another part of town. I saw her once at the market, with a few children who she had with her second husband..."

Claude opened his eyes again. They now looked full of guilt.

"It might not be that you are unable to have a child." He explained. "Perhaps you are only unable to have one with me..."

Esmeralda gazed at her husband with urgency.

"We don't know that!" She insisted. "We don't even know that we can't have a child! It could still happen!"

"And if it doesn't?" Claude questioned.

Esmeralda's hands latched onto Claude's shoulders, her eyes piercing into his.

"I do want children." Esmeralda admitted. "But if I couldn't have any, even if it were specifically with you, I wouldn't blame you. It wouldn't be your fault because it wouldn't be anything you chose."

"Still, it would mean there was something I couldn't give you." Claude said with dread. "I would hate that."

"You give me enough." Esmeralda promised. "I married you because I loved you, not because I counted on you to give me children. I'll love you either way."

Claude started to smile weakly. Esmeralda started to gently stroke his hair.

"You want this too." She reminded him. "But you wouldn't love me any less if I couldn't give you children."

Looking at things from the opposite perspective was sometimes helpful when Claude criticized himself. He knew that Esmeralda's love for him was equal to his love for her, and he could not picture feeling any different about her if she were unable to give him the privilege of fathering her children.

"You're right." Claude admitted. "I'll always love you, and I know you'll always love me. I know we'll be alright if we can't have children. But... I certainly hope we can."

Esmeralda nodded.

"I hope so too." She returned.

Made it back with another chapter! I'm holding off on any real smut at the moment because I prefer it to help move the plot forward, and I didn't feel like it would do much of that in the first few chapters. I do plan to write some later, though!

Thanks for reading! As always, comment if you like it! :)