Getting into the castle... was surprisingly easy.

Mercury wasn't sure if it was a trap, or if there were just too many things going on for the guards to manage all the entrances; the pile sitting by the main entrance hadn't gotten any smaller, despite their leaving, so he assumed that they were rather low on manpower. That was how he managed to scurry around the perimeter of the castle and sneak in through an unguarded window.

He nearly scared the pants off of a maid, who passed out from the fright as a blue-haired unknown slipped in through a window that had handily been left unhatched. Mercury wasted no more than a second checking on her, then propped the woman against a wall.

She'd probably wake up super confused.

From there, he prowled the almost empty hallways, searching for any sign of the remaining guild members while dodging around the guards. Mercury wanted to avoid as much combat as possible.

The ground trembled. Mercury could suddenly feel the overwhelming wave of magic, the sound of a gong and a flute soaring through his ears; the latter was unfamiliar, foreign, but the former definitely belonged to Natsu – so why did it sound so warped? So angry?

Something was clearly wrong, though Mercury had no idea what it was. All he could do is hustle on ahead to find the source of the magic, which coursed through magically charged air as though this was Earthland itself.

Was this the part where the guild exploded? He hoped not – Gajeel may have been an idiot, but at least he was somewhat reliable.

Mercury was nearly knocked off of his feet as the rumbling continued, apparently not going to stop anytime soon. He forced his feet to ignore the way his ears were ringing, the obvious blurry spot of a Magic-Sensitivity induced migraine forming, to move towards the source of the magic.

People were screaming. Loudly. The ceiling in the room where the magic was coming from had collapsed, debris cluttering down below.

(Was it bad that Mercury didn't really care? A cursory glance revealed that none of the people inside are any of his guildmates, but he got the sneaking suspicion that he may have just missed them.)

There was, however, a man on the inside who was definitely wearing a crown, and Mercury got the treasonous idea to just... take the king hostage. What would they do then? If he just grabbed the short man and finally unsheathed the sword to put it against his neck… would that be sacrilege against the sword of his parallel daughter's father?

Mercury decided to wait, however, when the man started spouting off words that he didn't know. He peeked out from the doorway and even hid behind the massively large door it housed as Erza of all people sprinted out, a platoon following close behind. Somehow, in the chaos, he wasn't noticed.

… Except Erza now had short hair and a nasty look on her face. Mercury was sure this wasn't his Erza. No, her brows somehow felt much too tilted, face too worn, and wrinkles too… angry. It was definitely not their Ezra.

That being said, it seemed as though the strongest person in the room had just left their king defenseless. Mercury continued to wait.

"Summon the Dorma Anim!" The king shouted, the people around him stuck in a combination of fear and protest.

"But Sire, according to article–"

"PREPARE IT!"

The soldier, or perhaps chancellor, who had raised the objection was easily backhanded away by the king, despite the massive height difference. His comrades made no movement to pick him up from the floor.

Mercury was interested in this Dorma Anim, though, and decided that he could wait a few more minutes before assaulting the king. The roars of something outside echoed within the small confines of the room that the king led himself into, pressing a hand to open a door Mercury hadn't even noticed that flashes a white before opening.

For a kingdom without magic, this king sure did have access to a lot of it.

But what the hell is Dorma Anim?

Dorma Anim, he soon found out, was an honest-to-god robot.

It looked similar to Phantom Lord's mobile guild hall, though it had significantly less exposed pipes and wiring. The design appeared much more refined. Its outside was made of a glossy metal that Mercury couldn't identify – it might have been iron, but he was unsure – and it gleamed dangerously in the red emergency light lacrima that made up the walls of the hidden room.

Mercury did not like the look of it. Not one bit. It looked like a war machine, curated specifically to be a walking, impenetrable tank that doubled as a weapon. And the worst part? It gave off the same feeling that Natsu, Gajeel, and Wendy did.

It was a dragon. Somehow, it was a metal dragon.

The situation outside changed once more. Mercury suddenly felt the presence of the guild lacrima grow stronger, then disappear entirely, leaving him with a feeling of emptiness in his head and chest. He could tell, somehow, that it hadn't been ignited – he probably would have been able to know if it had because it would have been entirely overwhelming – and had instead somehow disappeared.

He hoped – prayed – that they made it back to Earthland. Not some other parallel world. Please, just send them home.

But Mercury couldn't focus on that for long. The king was preparing to mount Dorma Anim, and that's when Mercury made his move.

He was going to hijack it.

Was it stupid? Yes. Probably the stupidest thing he'd ever thought of in his life. Actually, it was something on the level that Laxus at age sixteen would think up, and that was saying something, because the man had had Mercury wear a dress to catch kidnappers before.

But this "Dorma Anim'' was likely going to be used against his guildmates, so, for stupidity's sake, he let himself simply fall in line with his own idiotic plan.

It wasn't like there was much to lose now, anyway. This was for the guild, he told himself.

The guards surrounding the machine were entirely too hesitant to get involved, either due to the kings obvious poor temper – he was still shouting at them even as they helped him climb into the hatch – or because of the earlier extra's expository, "But Sire, article -" that let Mercury know Dorma Anim was dangerous. No one was paying attention.

In front of him, the floor that would become his runway was empty.

Yes, this could work.

Mercury darted forward just as the hatch started to close on top of the king, sprinting past the reluctant guards like he was in a footrace against Erza where the prize was strawberry cake. Only one bothered to shout at his approach – and by then, it was too late.

He vaulted himself into the hatch that the king had just entered just as it closed.

Everything was dark.

It felt… weird. Like Dorma Anim was pulsating in his mind. Without the light, he couldn't see anything, even with his incredible dark vision – it wasn't dark, Mercury quickly realized, it was simply black – and it felt like something had clamped down on his mouth, preventing him from speaking.

But it felt good. Oddly good. Like he could finally move again, a freeness entering his body despite finding his muscles unable to contract in any way, frozen in place.

The mecha was surprisingly roomy. He couldn't even tell which way was up and which way was down, let alone find the bastard king who was piloting it. It was as though he was floating through a dark space, like he was aimlessly floating through the cold ocean with no sense of direction or any sort of landmark.

Only when Dorma Anim started to move did he get a sense for how the robot worked.

One step was taken, and Mercury's body fought the urge to take one with it – although he got the feeling he wasn't actually moving at all. A second step followed, and the same happened. His leg muscles felt like they were twitching.

When Dorma Anim moved, Mercury moved.

And he could feel the king in his head.

It wasn't like possession or anything. The water mage is quite sure of that (and it wouldn't work on him even if it was). If anything, it felt like he was sharing a brain with the king and the robot, three separate entities joining together as one. He felt disoriented.

Mercury came to the realization that Dorma Anim was reading their movements to replicate its own.

The unison of the three of them – a better word would have been "amalgamation" – took off in a different direction, and Mercury had to fight to get his bearings. He could see the outside, but it felt like he was trying to make out the fine details with his eyes closed, blurry and undefined as his head swirled from sharing a headspace with the mad king. He was, at least, aware of where his brain ended and the king's began, because the king was filled with such a greed and desire that it physically made Mercury feel like there was salt in his bloodstream.

Mercury was quite familiar with having to separate himself from something in his head, after all.

They made their way towards a hatch in the ceiling, and Dorma Anim flew.

For a moment, it was a wonderful feeling, and it was such a shame that Mercury didn't have the time to take it in. He – they – were completely free, unburdened by the fighting above them as their body soared through the air, the wind rushing past their metallic face and caressing alloy joints. He couldn't care less about anything in that movement as their body gracefully swung through the air as though released from the chains of gravity.

He couldn't see very well, but at least his sense of hearing was working.

"PANTHERLILY!" Someone shrieked – Wendy? – followed by a guttural cry of rage from Ezra.

He couldn't tell which version.

The king inside of him laughed loudly as the body of a large feline crashed into the ground beneath them. Mercury had never seen a cat so large before, but the king was clearly familiar; both inside and out, he was happy to see that the Exceed had apparently been felled.

He hadn't needed any further proof to know that the king was a bastard, but this certainly proved it.

Above Dorma Anim lay a sight for Mercury's sore eyes, though it didn't appear to be a very good sight if he was going by the violent eyes focused on him. Angry eyes focused on only one thing: the king.

Mystogan's voice reached his ears, and for, what, the tenth time? He thought he should be surprised but was not, because at some point he knew that Mystogan was involved. That guy was just too odd.

Maybe that explained the distinctly hollow feeling that Mystogan always had.

"Nightwalker," he addressed Erza. The Edolas version, Mercury decided quickly; "Nightwalker" was a far cry from the familiar "Scarlet."

(Was Erza's last name not, like, her official last name? Or was that just an Edolas thing?)

"Are you going to ignore the orders of the Prince of Edolas?" Mysogan continued, staring down the redhead with apprehension. Mercury had never seen the man look so tired.

"You are no son of mine! What you are is a fool!" It was funny that the first time the king spoke was to rebuke a man who appeared to be his own son; clearly, they weren't on good terms at all. As the king's voice spoke through his mind, the water mage's lips followed along in that dark, empty space, before he continued, "You've kept your presence hidden for seven years, and now you brazenly return? I'm well aware that you have been closing up the Anima portals in Earthland, you traitor."

Mercury soaked up the exposition drop. Mystogan was the prince who didn't get along with his father – and it was probably for the best, because his father sounded like a homicidal maniac. The Anima portals were likely what brought them all here to this world, and likely the cause of the guild's crystallization.

The king wasn't doing anything yet, though, and was honestly providing Mercury with some good information, so he saw no need to intervene at the moment – but mark his words, as soon as the bastard started trying to attack, Mercury would be pulling back with all of his might.

Assuming that he could even wrest some control away, anyway. He had to hope he could, or else this plan would have been probably his worst to date.

"Your Anima plan has failed. This battle has no meaning."

Mercury loved how angry Mystogan sounded; it filled him with excitement. In that moment, he was the Fairy Tail mage's biggest fan, because he was always willing to support someone telling their parents to suck it.

(Please, dear Mother, let it be his turn next.)

"Meaning? Battle? This is no battle – this is retribution against those who would make themselves enemies of the king. If you intend to stand in my way, Jellal, you will be erased as well."

Wow, how familiar. Mercury had experienced almost the exact opposite.

"Father…."

"I am not your father. I am the King of Edolas!" The king proclaimed, then thought better of himself. "... Come to think of it, once this is over, I'll have destroyed the person who was closing the Anima portals in Earthland, so it doesn't matter if you managed to make that lacrima disappear. I can just find a new one."

And with that, the king went crazy.

It felt like jolts of electricity on his skin, except much milder and much more uncomfortable – and Mercury was absolutely familiar with actual electricity. Something in the sensation, though, was familiar, like he'd felt them before. It took a moment of fighting off nausea for the water mage to realize that he could already faintly understand the king's future movements; the maniac was very clear in how he thought through each movement before doing it. Nothing came instinctually. The king was entirely unaware of this, as absorbed in his domination over the mages in front of him as he was.

A beam prepared to launch itself from Dorma Anim's… nozzle? Head? Somewhere up top? It felt like it was protruding from Mercury's forehead, so it must have been somewhere close to that. The energy gathered, and it was actually so strong that Mercury was reminded of the Jupiter Canon.

Was it possible that this is the Edolas version of Phantom Lord's mobile guild? Was that a thing?

Regardless of the inner workings of the machine, though – of which Mercury had no understanding, so controlling it would be like riding a bike down a hill with no pedals – he could at least pull that damn beam upwards so that it didn't hit anyone.

It shot into the sky, parting the clouds and leaving in its wake a deafening BOOM!

It was then that everyone started to move. Erza – the Earthland one, with long hair – dove forward to meet her counterpart, Jellal moved to land in front of Dorma Anim, and the three dragon slayers followed close behind. Mercury couldn't make out what they were saying because the king started to scream in his ear.

What the hell is going on? His voice penetrated Mercury's mind as though the words were being carved directly into his brain.

Hi there, Mercury introduced himself. I'm not going to let you hurt them.

It became a battle of wills.

Mystogan, Jellal – whoever left to go off somewhere, hopefully doing something useful for once in his life rather than running away again. The dragon skaters took their positions in defiance of Dorma Anim.

Natsu started it off nice and easy with his signature move, a blast of fire straight to Dorma Anim's face. Unfortunately, it didn't work, and the king was forced to alternate between cackling out loud and screaming internally as Mercury continued to battle his mind.

"Dorma Anim is immune to any magic, you fools - hey, stop touching that!" The king's haughty exclamation was cut off as Mercury raised the metal beast's right hand experimentally.

All three dragon slayers exchanged looks.

How dare you even attempt to ruin my plans? The king raged into Mercury's head. It was almost funny how easily the man devolved into anger the moment he didn't have the entire upper hand. People usually held it together a little longer than the king had, though that was probably just what happened when people so used to power were suddenly thrust into situations they didn't have under control.

Mercury tested out his voice. The movements felt unfamiliar, as though he'd never done it before, but just the thought of speaking allowed the speaker on Dorma Anim to crackle to life. "Hello? Can you guys hear me?"

They could, if the way all three of their heads do the same head tilt at the same time and to the same angle. Honestly, it was super cute – like watching three puppies – but no one would ever catch him saying that out loud.

"Merc?!" Natsu shouted, "Did the dragon eat you?"

At least Mercury was certain that this was his world's Natsu. He was still an idiot.

"I snuck in," Mercury said with a wink. The movement translated did not translate well to the robot.

The king disliked the idea of sharing a robotic mecha, though, thrashing the tail against the ground and sending shockwaves towards the trio.

"If 'yer in there, why the hell are you attacking us?!" Gajeel shrieked as he grabbed Wendy to pull her out of the way of the rising dust cloud.

"Well, we're both in here, so I'm" – "I'm in control!" The king finished. Their voices weren't differentiable, both coming from the same set of speakers, but it was clear who was who. Now, their roles had switched, and Mercury had the opportunity to control the main body, which he readily took advantage of by grasping the tail of the metallic creature and pulling.

It didn't come clear. Not easily, anyway. The metal moaned at the tension, stretching further than the water mage had thought possible before the king wrangled control again once more. The tail had been damaged, but it wasn't dysfunctional yet, squirming around.

Mother, is this how a tail felt? It was weird as hell.

(But also familiar?)

"Anyway, I'll be helping out –" the king threw all of his mental willpower into cutting Mercury off, which just gave him the motivation to try harder, " – so pretty please don't kill me, too, though not sure you could even if you tried."

The two shared a sense of consciousness at that moment as they both mentally wrestled for control over the giant, hulking piece of metal, which came to a standstill as they did. The king's thoughts flowed into Mercury's mind and vice versa; it wasn't a very comfortable feeling as the memories of the two melded together.

Ironically, they both had a very similar length of memories. In other words, they were almost the same age.

"You're one of those damn half-human creatures? I thought I wiped all those bastards out," the king said out loud after taking a brief 'glance' around Mercury's mind, and that piqued his interest more than anything so far.

What specifically are you referring to? He asked. The king's memories didn't flow so freely towards him, but he could just barely pick up the image of people who looked a lot like himself, called to memory at the word. Actually, he could pick out familiar faces in the crowd of the memory, and just looking at some of them made Mercury's stomach turn freely – even though they were apparently dead in Edolas.

Would it be bad to throw up in the confines of Dorma Amin with the king? Mercury wondered what reaction the robot would have to that.

"Do not throw up, you damn lowborn creature!"

Internally, Mercury cackled. He briefly debated making himself sick just to mess with the man; he couldn't smell it, after all, so it wouldn't have affected him.

And yet he felt so good in Dorma Amin. It was like he had regained all the strength he'd ever lost, body overflowing with magical power to the point he thought he could go one-on-one with Laxus with little issue – no, he could go one-on-one with Gildarts no problem.

(Was he high?)

His body felt as light as it had felt in decades. Something was flowing into him as though his body was a battery, recharging as he basked in the energy of Dorma Anim.

(Yeah, Mercury realized as he tried to stumble his thoughts together. He was high.)

Gajeel made up for their shared moment of hesitation and started gnawing at the near-disconnected tail, teeth angrily tearing at the part where the metal had stretched thin. Natsu sent a wave of fire at them once more, and this time, Mercury could feel the faintest tinge of the heat through Dorma Anim's thick metal plating. Wendy backed them up, casting enchant magic.

(He was definitely going to ask her for tips when they got back; her methods were so much faster, dragon slayer magic be damned.)

Doors on Dorma Anim's back opened up, releasing missiles in the direction of the wind dragon slayer. She dodged easily, but didn't expect the way that they honed in on her even after she dodged. It was incredibly disorienting to watch it from both the perspective of the missile – he could see the way her eyes widened, could see the individual strands of hair twirling in the wind – and of Dorma Anim, but also kind of cool.

The missiles exploded. Mercury wasn't worried, though. He was still spitting into the king's head, imagining the most horrid things in an attempt to get him to slip up – and there were a lot of things he could imagine. The king, however, thought it was checkmate for the young dragon slayer, and did not take into account that, like Gajeel, Natsu could also devour his element.

And devour he did.

The flames exploded in intensity before quickly being sucked into a vortex that they couldn't escape from – Natsu's stomach, a bottomless pit, or perhaps just a black hole (which was fitting for just how dense the boy was). Mercury followed up with another barrage of missiles that honed in on the floor right in front of Natsu, and the king, not understanding why he was doing it, but happy to oblige in firing more weapons at the trio, just went along with it.

Natsu just ate them too.

"Natsu," Mercury chided, sensing that Natsu was so powered up, so high on magical energy and ethernano that he could almost burst. The water mage felt much the same even though he didn't have the same abilities, and he could feel just how Natsu's energy thrummed, a gong so painfully loud that Merc couldn't have ignored it even if he wanted to. Even the king flinched at the sound.

Were those scales on Natsu's face?

"I lied. You could probably kill me if you tried hard enough, so please don't."

A desperate plea.

Natsu smirked.

Oh, sweet Mother. Maybe if he managed to come out of this unscathed and with all of his clothes intact he could take it a little easy on the dragon slayer for the next month or two, overlook a few transgressions. Maybe give him a spar if he wanted it.

Anything, so long as Natsu let him keep at least his pants.

The dragon slayer exploded. A heat seeking missile, and Mercury just hoped the heat Natsu was seeking wasn't himself.

"Fire Dragon's Blade Edge!"

(Shouting attack names like that was so out of style.)

Dorma Anim was set alight; Mercury could feel the individual circuits melting down, the carbon fiber plating burning as though paper while heat danced on his skin from his link with the machine.

It should have been more painful. The king certainly thought it was, shrieking through Mercury's head like a banshee gone rogue. Instead, though, Mercury felt like his body was too far away to properly feel anything – not even when he found himself tumbling through a newly opened hole in the robot. Circuits popped in his head, so oddly similar to Laxus's electricity that he found he… simply was not worried about it.

How odd – facing a full force attack from Natsu should have worried him, should have hurt, but Mercury just felt like his body was tingly.

He'd not been obliterated though, so he didn't actually care too much what happened anymore.

"How was that? Not dead, yeah?" Natsu asked with a childish grin. Gajeel remained standing in shock close to the machine's tail, not a single part of it functioning now that the core and its two pilots were gone.

And the iron dragon slayer was the one holding a wriggling king by his collar.

"Not dead, but I think you burned my ass. Thanks." And he meant it; thanks, Natsu, for being able to do something he couldn't, and for taking the first step towards ending what would later be dubbed by those in the know, "The Edolas Incident."

Because it was always "incidents" with Fairy Tail.

The fire dragon slayer's smile grew deeper, the childish, happy one that graced his features so often. Wendy came in close, all three of them pressed together for a hug to celebrate their comparatively fairly easy victory.

Another win for Fairy Tail, Mercury supposed, a small hint of smoke rising from his pants that had started to smolder, and a loss for his clothing.