Reckless

Chapter 17

With her crazy work schedule, Toni was grateful for any weekend she was able to spend with her son. And given how much she'd been working lately, having this time solidified her decision to leave the task force for the BAU. Romeo needed more than just a few hours of her undivided attention. Thankfully, it only took until Saturday afternoon for the oppositional attitude he'd been giving her to finally dissipate. She reasoned that it was hard for Romeo to hang on to his sour mood when they were doing all his favorite things.

They went to the dojo, followed by fancy coffee drinks. His was more of a milkshake, some sort of coffee based mess with an entire chocolate chip cookie blended into it. They drank them on benches near the public basketball court. One advantage of living in a shit neighborhood was that the basketball pickup games were always on point. Romeo loved nothing more than going out to eat, so Toni took him out for almost every meal. Between the two of them, they even managed to talk her cousin Lucia into coming out to dinner. Her presence made Romeo happy, even though they had to box up and leave before they were done eating. There was a man in the restaurant that Lucia thought looked like one of the men that attacked her. The real attackers lived in Texas. Toni's brothers dealt with them years ago. But that didn't stop Lucia from having a panic attack.

Toni didn't answer when Spencer called her. But this time, she called him back the moment her son was in bed. She flopped sideways across the foot of her bed, smiling while she listened to him talk at lightning speed about his own day off. At his suggestion, the next morning she took Romeo to a local park where people met up to play chess. Toni was skeptical. But the old men that were gathered there seemed to take great enjoyment in teaching her son their own personal game strategies. She wasn't much of a chess player. But Toni sat nearby, reading from one of Rossi's true crime novels as she watched her son choose each move with intense concentration.

Monday morning was upon her before she was really ready for it. Toni parked in the bureau's underground garage, stepping out of her car with a giant cup of espresso and steamed milk in her hand. She needed the coffee more than usual. It was possible that she stayed up too late talking on the phone to a certain someone again the night before. She was tired. But she was also flushed with her eagerness to see Spencer again. She got up early to give herself extra time to fix her hair and makeup. Then she changed her clothes three times before settling on a high waisted leather pencil skirt that hugged the curve of her hips and ass, something she usually wouldn't be caught dead wearing at the office.

Toni rolled her eyes at her giddy smile after she checked her reflection in the elevator doors. After a deep breath, she straightened her shoulders and forced a serious expression onto her face. Not only did she need to keep some sort of control over herself at work, she also needed to get a handle on herself in general. She was a grown woman, and a mother. There was no need for her to be acting like a lovesick teenager over some dick and a few phone conversations. Toni smiled again before she could stop herself, biting her lip in an attempt to control the expression. She took a sip of coffee and tried not to start laughing at herself. This was going to be a long day. Or a long week, given that the chances were high that they'd be called in on a case today.

Toni spent the elevator ride up preparing herself to see Spencer again. But it was Penelope Garcia that came rushing towards her the moment the elevator dinged open. Toni took in the woman's frazzled appearance with concern.

"What's wrong?," Toni asked.

Penelope didn't answer. Instead she grasped Toni's forearm, pulling her away from the elevator and into the closest unoccupied room. It was an office. But from the stacks upon stacks of filing boxes, it was obvious that no one was using it. Toni noticed that most of the BAU preferred to work at desks in the bullpen. In most units, it was unusual for supervisory special agents to congregate there. They liked the status of having their own offices. It was just one more small thing that made the BAU unique.

"Please don't kill me," Penelope pleaded.

"What are you talking about?," Toni asked. "Why would I kill you?" She needed to finish her coffee and change into pants before she even started thinking about killing anyone, suspects included.

"I didn't mean to," Penelope explained. "It was an accident… and then I figured the damage was already done so what would it hurt if I did it again."

Toni's dark eyebrows lifted in confusion as she stared at her coworker. Penelope was talking so fast, she would have had a hard time keeping up even if she knew what the woman was talking about. Which she didn't. She had a fluffy pen in her hands, running the pink feathers through her fingers over and over again. Toni reached over, placing her hand gently over Penelope's to stop her nervous fidgeting.

"Calm down," Toni soothed. "I have no idea what you're talking about. I'm not mad at you for anything."

"You will be," Penelope countered. "...when you find out I slept with your boyfriend."

"What?," Toni asked, her lips parting in disbelief as she jerked her hand back. She might have spoken too soon. Maybe it wasn't too early in the day for killing. In fact, she'd fight skirt or no skirt right now. "You slept with Spencer?," Toni accused.

This time it was Penelope that gasped the word what, following it up with another word. "NO!" She wrinkled up her face like she was looking at a crime scene photo. At least until the implication of what Toni just said fully hit her. Then her face lit up like a kid on Christmas morning. "Hold on! Are you and Spencer together? Oh my god! This is the best thing that ever happened around here! You know he's like the nicest person on the planet. He loves kids too! I'm so excited! If you get married, can I be a bridesmaid in your wedding?"

"Penelope!," Toni barked. "Focus! No one is getting married, especially me. If you're not talking about Spencer, what the hell are you talking about?"

"Oh," Penelope chirped, no longer nervous about her big confession. "Luke."

Toni barked out a laugh, letting a wide smile spread across her face. She wouldn't have pictured them together, but thinking about it now she sort of loved this for the two of them. And honestly, she sort of loved it for herself too. Luke deserved happiness. And he deserved someone who's cheeks turned red at the mere mention of his name, which certainly wasn't her. If both of them were dating other people, Toni hoped they might find their way back to the effortless friendship they had before things got complicated between them.

"Me and Luke, we're just friends," Toni promised.

Penelope let out an overly dramatic sigh of relief. She had a one second rebound before she returned right back to what she felt was now the most important subject at hand. Her phone rang, but she jerked it out and silenced it. This was more important than whatever Hotch wanted. "Is there something going on between you and Spencer?," she asked.

Penelope was so excited at the prospect that she was nearly bouncing in place. Toni had to fight back laughter in order to answer. "Yes," Toni admitted, holding her hand up to keep Penelope quiet until she finished. "It's still new so I'm not sure exactly what's going on yet, but I would rather everyone around here didn't find out."

"That's no problem," Penelope exclaimed. She lifted her hand and made an ex across her chest. "I won't say a word I promise. I love secrets! Tell me everything..."

"There's not much to tell," Toni said, which was actually a total and complete lie. There was actually a lot to tell. Daytime soap opera level secrets that Toni had no intention of revealing to Penelope Garcia.

"Are you…," Penelope asked, making a hilariously obscene motion with her fluffy pen and her hot pink manicure fingers. "You know?"

"Fucking?," Toni offered, filling in the blank in her question. Penelope nodded, practically holding her breath in anticipation. Toni chewed at her bottom lip and shrugged her shoulders slightly before she gave a slight nod. She'd already admitted there was something going on between them, it didn't take a profiler to conclude that probably meant something sexual. Toni wasn't expecting it when Penelope's mouth dropped open as though she just got the shock of her life.

"Really?," Penelope asked. When Toni's amused smile turned into a scowl, Penelope made a quick recovery. She didn't mean her reaction as an insult to either one of them. "It's not like that, it's just that Spencer won't even let people touch his hand."

Toni nodded her understanding. She let a little wicked grin quirk up the corners of her mouth before she lowered her voice and spoke. "I touched a lot more than that," she joked. "...and besides, we already knew each other. We had a little fling years before this, so I guess that's why it happened so quick."

For the second time in a matter of moments, an expression of total shock formed on Penelope's face. This new revelation took her a little longer to process. "You're Toni!," she gasped. "Like 'the Toni'? The girl Spencer drank tequila with in the irish bar Toni? Do you know how many searches and algorithms I ran to try and find you? How could I have known your name was Antonio? I can't believe this!"

"He was looking for me?," Toni asked. Spencer said something about looking for her, but she didn't realize he was that serious about it. Serious enough to enlist the help of the FBI's best people finder. Penelope was talking about her like she was a person of legend. Like she was the one that got away.

"Looking for you?," Penelope asked. "We scoured the depths of the internet for you. Do you have any idea how many hours Spencer spent in my office clicking through pictures of girls I thought might be you? I looked in every crevice, every crack! You were here the whole time, working at the FBI! Right under my nose!"

Toni suddenly felt like all the air had been sucked out of the room. She took a step back, lowered herself onto the edge of the crowded desk. Her head was swirling with a million what ifs and regrets. There was nothing she could do now to change the past. But that didn't stop her from wishing for it. Things work out the way they're meant to, she told herself. Her mother believed in signs, not that they ever did her any good. The only way they pointed her was to the next no good man, or to the bottom of the bottle after he left. But maybe things would be different for her. Toni could hear Penelope talking to her, but it was like her words were coming from under water. She took a few deep breaths. But before she could really get control over herself, the office door swung open.

"What are you doing in here?," Hotch asked. "I've been calling you both for ten minutes. We've got a case."