The cold days of Winter began to fade into the hope-filled signs of new life and Springtime leaving behind many happy memories of the Grant family's first snowy season together. Memories including Mountie Daddy Nathan helping his young son Jack learn to skate on the frozen pond and a sliding expedition where even the ladylike and dignified Elizabeth was convinced to join in on the fun, racing down the hill on a long toboggan and landing in a heap in the fluffy snow. Laughter and giggles, rosy cheeks and happy smiles permeated many of their Winter memories together but with a new season in the air, they began to look forward to more memories yet to be made.
Elizabeth left for school early one April morning. As she walked, she noticed a few patches of stubborn snow here and there but all around her was the evidence of Spring's arrival. Blossoms and buds on the trees and flowers. A mother robin working diligently to gather sticks and moss for a cozy nest. She even caught a glimpse of a doe and her spotted fawn across the field. Everywhere she looked she was reminded this was the season for new life.
With all of her heart she hoped and prayed that a new little life would join their family. Already it was too late to hope to hold a baby this year. As the months continued to pass, Elizabeth's concerns continued to grow. She would have let her train of thought continue down that track but the first of her students began to arrive so she forced the worrisome thoughts aside and greeted them with a friendly hello.
On a unseasonably nice Saturday later that month, with Spring's warmth having firmly taken ahold of Hope Valley's days, Rosemary and Elizabeth made the short hike to the hot springs to dip their feet in the healing waters and enjoy a picnic together. With years of friendship between them, they chatted easily as they made their way to their destination and settled in to enjoy their relaxing afternoon.
Rosemary gushed over Goldie's recent accomplishments at the Governor's second annual Easter egg hunt. Elizabeth smiled at her dear friend's joy. She had waited so long to be a mother. She deserved to bask in every happy moment.
Elizabeth couldn't help but remember one particularly hard to reach egg from last year's egg hunt. A smirk teased at her lips. Turns out it was very, very worth it after all.
"Well this has been lovely," Rosemary declared, pulling Elizabeth back to the present. "It's been too long since we had a ladies' day…or a mom's day!" Rosemary giggled at her own wit.
Elizabeth smiled briefly in response, her eyes fixed on the ripples spreading through the water as they gently swung their feet.
"You're awful quiet all of a sudden," Rosemary's question hidden in the statement. Her inquisitive expression much less hidden on her face.
Elizabeth took a deep breath before meeting eyes with Rosemary. She knew she'd would pull it out of her anyway. And she knew she needed to talk.
With much emotion, Elizabeth shared about her fears surrounding growing their family. She wasn't yet pregnant, would it ever happen? What if it never did? She had become pregnant with Baby Jack in such a short time but here they were, 9 happy months into marriage and still no baby on the way.
Rosemary reached for her hand, "Elizabeth, God knew how short your time with Jack would be. He knew you'd need that sweet baby boy to remember him by and to help you heal and move on. And He knows the right time for you and Nathan as well." She gave Elizabeth's hand a reassuring squeeze before releasing it.
Elizabeth's gaze drifted up toward the warm sun and she closed her eyes, taking in the warmth. A new peace washed over her. She had never considered the simple truth that Rosemary shared with her so easily. The timing was right and it will be again. The dancing flight of a butterfly caught her attention, another reminder of new beginnings.
Suddenly another thought crossed her mind and guilt crept in. "Oh Rosemary, I know you waited so long for Goldie. I must sound silly worrying when it's not even been a year."
"Nonsense!" Rosemary exclaimed, water splashing around their ankles as she stomped her foot in response. Then more gently she continued, "You're allowed to feel how you feel and you're always allowed to talk to me about it. We did wait a long time but in the end, the timing was perfect. Yours will be too. Have you mentioned this to Nathan?"
"No. We've talked about having babies, of course." Elizabeth couldn't hide a dreamy smile from spreading across her face but it quickly faded, "But I haven't told him of my concerns." She finished somewhat sheepishly, studying the water once again.
"Well you should," Rosemary informed her resolutely, "You can carry it together. That's what Carson told me when I went to him about this years ago. And you know what? He was right." She ended with a smile.
Elizabeth already knew well how facing life with Nathan by her side had made everything better. Of course it would be better to carry this together too. She determined to talk to him soon.
The warmth of the Spring day had given way to a chilly evening, showing Winter was not quite ready to loose its cold grip on Hope Valley's nights, so Nathan was more than a little surprised when he descended the stairs and found the door standing open. Outside, silhouetted by moonlight, sitting on the front step was his wife.
Nathan had noticed Elizabeth had seemed withdrawn since returning from her day out with Rosemary. Normally their time together put her in a happy, uplifted mood but today it seemed to have left her with something on her mind. Nathan hoped she was ready to share now.
Despite her hope that seemed to shine like the sun earlier today, fears that the timing may never be right for them began to take over Elizabeth's mind once again as the day faded to night. She had tried to push it aside, to engage with her family and be present but after rereading the same page of a novel over and over this evening, she knew Nathan had taken notice of her sullen mood.
Slipping outside into the cool night air, she sat on the front step and stared out at the stars. After a few minutes, she heard the familiar footsteps of her husband returning from tucking their boy into bed.
Nathan moved first to the kitchen to pour two glasses of apple juice, their unspoken signal of needing a heart to heart talk. He knew she would understand.
Taking the spot next to her, Nathan stretched out his legs over a couple steps, then handed her one of the glasses of the amber colored drink.
Elizabeth took one look at the offering in his outstretched hand and smiled. He knew. He knew she needed to talk and he was there to listen. The feeling of being so deeply loved kindled a fire in her heart.
"Joy shared is doubled. Sorrow shared is halved." Nathan began softly, bumping his shoulder against hers. "I think I read that somewhere," he added with a light chuckle. He took a deep breath of the cool air and let it out slowly giving her time to be ready to share her heart with him.
Elizabeth took a sip of apple juice. How to start? "Nathan, I'm worried…worried we won't have a baby." Quickly she crumbled into tears. There was more she wanted to say but her cry spoke to Nathan's heart in a way no words could have.
He moved until his body was right next to hers, and then wrapped his strong arms around her, holding her while she softly sobbed against him.
"Will you still be happy with me if we never have any children together?" she finally managed to ask.
So there it was. Not only did she fear never adding to their family but that she was afraid of being a disappointment to the man she loved so dearly.
"Elizabeth, I am happy with you," Nathan said with emphasis. "And I will always be happy to be your husband and Allie and Jack's dad. If that's all the children God has planned for us, my heart is full. It's already more than I ever dreamed."
Elizabeth's tears slowed as she listened to the sincerity in his voice. Leaning back she could see the truth in his eyes, illuminated by the glow of the full moon.
He continued gently speaking, "I would love to see our family grow. I'm not giving up hope that it will happen, Elizabeth. But you never have to wonder. I will always be happy just to be with you."
Overcome by a new wave of love for this good man, Elizabeth put both hands on either side of Nathan's face and pulled him in for a passionate kiss.
"Is this why you were quiet today?" Nathan asked when the kiss came to an end. He carefully wiped the tears from her cheeks as she responded.
"Yes, Rosemary said I should tell you about my concerns. That we could carry it together. I just didn't want you to have to worry." Elizabeth confessed.
"I'm not worried. Not because I don't care," he clarified, "because I'm the most blessed man either way." He gave her a lopsided grin and a quick kiss on the tip of her nose.
Elizabeth couldn't help but smile. She felt pretty blessed in this moment too.
"Elizabeth, I want to carry everything with you. You don't have to face anything alone." Nathan's voice was low and filled with tender love and emotion.
"I know, darling," Elizabeth replied, her eyes captured by his loving gaze.
Nathan spoke again, softly placing his hand on her cheek, "We'll always find each other here. On these steps. Through all the years ahead, whenever we have to talk about hard things, we can find each other here."