"Misa, it's so good to talk to you."
"Ooh, Light, is this your new phone?"
"Yeah, it is," you say warmly. You're going to be going over to Misa's floor in an hour or two anyway, so this is the perfect timing. It gets the whole thing over with all at once, and now she can't complain you've never called her.
"I knew you would call me some time…" she sighs.
"Yeah. So, how are you doing?"
You're sitting across the kitchen table from Ryuzaki, and the detective has been playing with paper, folding it in and out of origami shapes as you finish a cup of coffee. A number of boats, that he's putting sugar cubes inside and setting afloat.
Ryuzaki scribbles a gallows on a new piece of paper, adding lines underneath. He slides it over to you, and you take note of the placement of the spaces, tapping a possibility.
"Well, today when I got up I thought immediately that I would wear—" Misa chatters on inanely.
"M-hm."
Wrong? Ryuzaki draws a scribbly head hanging from the noose. You tap another.
"That's fascinating, Misa."
This guess is correct, and after a few guesses you've gotten the most frequently used syllables down and from there, one word stands out. Almost completed, you search for the last character and the word, spelled out in hiragana, resolves itself into "percentage." You give Ryuzaki an unimpressed look, and he looks back at you all wide-eyed innocence. The rest of the sentence quickly becomes guessable, and your hanged man is still incomplete and featureless when you come up with the phrase "your percentage has gone up."
'What's this all about, Ryuzaki?' you ask, tapping the question, with your finger, on top of the accusatory sentence.
He draws another gallows, and you roll your eyes. Misa pauses expectantly, and you say, "right. Is this about the movie?"
"What? No, Light, keep up. This is about that appearance I made in—"
The sentence spells out "last night." This time the hanged man never even gains a head, because you guess what the sentence says immediately.
'And how, exactly, is this supposed to make my percentage go up?' you ask, annoyed. 'I thought we were past all that.'
He draws another few spaces and you quickly guess, "that's what I thought."
'Don't keep going in circles, Ryuzaki. What are you accusing me of? And don't say "being Kira."'
He draws out more spaces. Being Kira. You refuse to spell it out on principle, and he draws more. "Motive."
Motive?
'Ryuzaki…'
He switches to wabun code, tapping with his pen, 'I said originally that I believed you were possessed by Kira, which would make you innocent now. But this plan of yours to seduce me—'
You interrupt, brushing his pen aside with your hand and tapping emphatically. 'My plan? If we're talking about who seduced whom, why don't we talk about you, L. I'm your prisoner, remember. And yet you've done nothing but consistently cross boundaries ever since we were handcuffed together. It's almost as though you were trying to take advantage of me.'
Ryuzaki just gives you a flat look. You know how to refute any argument he could come up with—his insistence that he's just after your confession with his perverted methods; the fact that he's years older than you which makes you the victim by default, maybe even that attack with the knife just to really make him look like a crazy obsessive (which he is, anyway) but your mouth flattens when he refuses to take the bait, leaving you with nothing.
Just that accusation.
Motive.
"Hel-ooo? Light? Are you there?"
"Oh, yeah, sorry Misa, you were saying?"
"I can't believe you! Were you even paying attention to a single thing I said?"
"Of course I was. It was… 'the payscale is all wrong.'"
"Hmph." For a second, Misa sounds snippy, but then she bounces back. "Yeah, and so I said—"
"M-hm. Yeah. That's great, Misa. Hey, why don't we talk more during our date later? I mean, I still need to get ready and everything, you know?"
"Oh—yeah, I suppose so," she says.
"Thanks. See you soon."
"I love y—" you hang up and put the phone back on the table between you, and Ryuzaki takes it and slips it into his pocket.
"Ryuzaki, how can you doubt me just because we finally had sex?"
"Finally…? Is that how it was?" Ryuzaki says drily.
"Look, I'm not trying to accuse you of anything," you say earnestly, "you said yourself when we first started these games that you felt like you were taking advantage; and even if I don't care about that, you have to admit, it's you who's been pushing for this the whole time."
He rolls his eyes. "Your version of the truth is, as always, impeccable."
"So how can you feel like I'm more suspicious now?"
"Why do you want to know?"
"Because this is my life in the balance, Ryuzaki!" you say, shoving the pages of hangman towards him.
"So you can figure out how to seem less suspicious?"
"You're being completely unreasonable!"
"That makes two of us, then," Ryuzaki says. He folds the papers up and stands up. "Come on, Light-kun. If we don't hurry, we'll miss our date with Misa-san."
/
You're fuming. This point in your relationship should've been when Ryuzaki fell even deeper into feeling completely overcome by you, but instead, he seems to be withdrawing. Talk about commitment issues, you think, scathingly. If only it was just that. He implied—no, he outright said that something you did caused him to rethink his entire theory regarding you. It's probably a bluff, you remind yourself. It's definitely, certainly a bluff, because L is Kira. He knows it, and you know it. But now, what, he's trying to imply that not only were you Kira, but you were conscious and aware of your crimes? Not possessed at all? That's a step backward—a huge one. There's no way you'll avoid the death penalty if L feels like framing you like this! What does he want from you?
"Ryuzaki," you say, as he drags you towards the main room, "if you have an issue based on last night—one that doesn't have to do with Kira—shouldn't you be talking about it, instead of accusing me? Isn't that just what you were bringing up last night… that we shouldn't leave stuff unsaid like this?"
"Like mature people, is that it?" Ryuzaki says.
"Yes…"
He looks back toward you. "Like I said. Motive. If you don't want to believe it, that's your problem."
"There's nothing wrong with my motives, Ryuzaki," you growl. "And it's pretty rich to say something like that, coming from you."
"Oh?" he says vaguely. "Is it?"
You step towards him. He's turning towards you, and you're raising your hand to punch him before you even think about it. He ducks out of the way, rolls into a crouch. "If your motives are so pure," he says, "why are you getting so worked up about it?"
"Because you're impossible!" you shout, tackling him. "I don't know why I even bother to put up with you."
"Yeah?" Ryuzaki says, as he kicks up at you, throwing you off him. "Am I a complete waste of the great Yagami Light's time?"
"Maybe you are."
"Then why do you bother?"
"Because I have to!"
"Because you're a prisoner?"
"Well I am, aren't I?" you say, grabbing the chain and tugging him towards you.
"Yes, of course."
"Then—"
"Then it was a lie. Not only that, a manipulation. But I thought that was against Light-kun's ideals…?"
"I never manipulated you, you bastard," you spit.
"Forgive me if I don't believe you," Ryuzaki says. You punch him again, and this time the blow lands.
"I'm the victim here, not you!" you say.
"You're the suspect, Light-kun. And lest you forget, the evidence is still against you."
"Like I ever could. You control the evidence the way you control the law. Everything always agrees with you."
"...control the evidence?" Ryuzaki muses.
You pause. Shit. This is way too close to accusing him of being Kira. If you do that, you really will have slipped all the way back to the beginning, and you'll never salvage this.
"You just have so much on your side, Ryuzaki," you say in a calmer tone. "And I don't have anything. Surely you can imagine how that sometimes seems a little unfair. You're the greatest detective in the world, and powerful enough to put me in confinement for two months, to build a skyscraper, to fake an execution—"
"And Kira can kill just by willing it," Ryuzaki says.
You crouch in front of him. "I'm not talking about Kira. Okay? I just… of course I feel a little resentful of you sometimes, Ryuzaki. But that doesn't mean I'm trying to manipulate you. I'm just trying to stay on your level… play your game. I thought that we had an understanding about it. This feels like it's coming out of nowhere, and yeah, I'm a little blindsided. That's all."
Ryuzaki's searching your face, and after a second, he lets out a sigh of frustration. "You're right," he says smoothly. "I was overreacting."
You give Ryuzaki an unimpressed look. "Won't you even tell me where you're coming from…?"
"Childhood trauma," Ryuzaki deadpans.
You groan.
After a moment, Ryuzaki says, seriously, "perhaps it's hard for you to believe, but the more you lie to me the more I don't trust you."
"I didn't lie to you last night."
"Didn't you?"
"I said I wanted to do it!"
"Why?"
Why? Fuck it, he just won't quit! "Because I was jealous, okay?" you say. "You showed me that footage of me and Misa, and you keep paying so much attention to her, and I didn't want you to. I didn't want you to think of anyone else, someone who wasn't worthy of you, all right?"
He looks at you silently for a long moment. "All right," he says.
"Then…"
"Then, have you really fallen for me or something?"
You laugh mildly. "I don't think you can really say 'fallen for.' But you've got to know, Ryuzaki, you're the most interesting person I've ever met. Of course I don't want to lose that."
"Fortunately," Ryuzaki says, holding his hand up, "with these handcuffs, I would be pretty difficult to misplace."
"Well, I'm glad," you say, smiling.
"Even if you're a prisoner…?"
"There's more than one facet to everything."
"Quite true." He stands up, and holds out a hand for you. You take it, let him pull you to your feet, and then frown at his face.
"Oh, Ryuzaki, you've got blood—" his lip is split, and you brush your thumb across it. Instead of cleaning the mark, it only smears, a little, under your hand.
/
"Did you guys get into a fight or something?" Misa asks.
"Yes," Ryuzaki says. His split lip is already swelling and to be fair he looks like a wreck.
Misa gives him a distrustful look and presses close to your side, grabbing onto your hand. "Well, at least you got it over with before the date this time," she says. You laugh.
"Yeah, at least we did."
She tugs you along with her and Ryuzaki follows alongside. "You look very beautiful today, Misa-san," he says. He glances over at you.
"Thanks," Misa says flippantly. "My hair turned out great and like, everything just came together perfectly. Not that you'd know anything about that, Ryuzaki."
"I understand," Ryuzaki says. "The most satisfying feeling in the world is when things come together perfectly."
"I'm not talking about your stupid cases…!"
"…Neither am I…"
Set in Argentina around the close of the second World War, Ryuzaki's movie (another one in English) is the same genre as his last pick, you can tell at once, from everything from the distinct chiaroscuro to the fact that it opens on illegal gambling in a dark alley. The cheater, Johnny Farrell, an American, runs into an older man with a cane that hides a sword, Ballin Mundson; the man saves him. Sordid, squalid characters step into the polished glitter of studio lighting, and Johnny assures his new boss, "I was born last night when you met me in that alley. That way, I'm no past and all future, see? And I like it that way." All three of them are, as Ballin points out—even the title character, Gilda, when she appears.
No past and all future. I see what this is about, you think. Like always, Ryuzaki's movies are pointed statements, and you try to figure out what this one's spelling out; there's no plot to speak of. Only characters, that drift through a setting barely fit to contain them. Snappy, innuendo-laden dialogue fills increasingly tense moments, a dinner date between the three becomes a volley of insinuation. Who is loyal to whom? And is it true that none of them have a past?
Of course not. The past is in every move they make.
Ryuzaki is in love. You can tell by the way his gaze fixes on the starlet whenever she's on screen. And Gilda, she has everything—as long as she doesn't make any mistakes. Johnny Farrell could very well be that, though she assures Mundson "I hate him."
"And he hates you," Ballin responds. "That's very apparent. But hate can be a very exciting emotion. Very exciting. Haven't you noticed that?"
The presence of it, this hatred, is desperate and wild enough to fill the air—Gilda singing alone at night, playing the guitar; performances of roles and dances, tawdry glamour; festivals and their aftermath. A singing number that she turns into a strip-tease in the middle of the club, just to humiliate Johnny the way he humiliated her.
"I hated her so," Johnny thinks, "I couldn't get her out of my mind for a minute. She was in the air I breathed, the food I ate…"
"I hate you so much," Gilda tells him, "I would destroy myself to take you down with me."
"I liked her," Misa says, when the movie's over. She's sitting on the couch as the three of you pick through lunch, Ryuzaki making sculptures out of his knife and fork, bridges and structures spanning his plate.
"Rita Hayworth," Ryuzaki says.
Misa hums a few bars of the song Gilda had sung, and grins. "Hey Light… maybe tonight, I could sing you a song…and we could go to the pool…"
"That could be fun," Ryuzaki says. "I enjoy swimming."
Misa frowns. "I'm not asking you!" she huffs.
Ryuzaki just jangles the handcuff, and Misa flops back against the couch and stares at the ceiling, crossing her arms.
/
"Mm… never have I ever been a mass-murderer."
"Ryuzaki!" you and Misa groan in unison.
"What?" Ryuzaki pulls his fork away from his teeth and gives the two of you an innocent look. "I haven't."
"Well, neither have I," Misa says.
"Light-kun…?"
"I'm not taking a drink," you say flatly.
The "drinks" are actually just the tea that had come with lunch, which has now been cleared to one side to leave room, while the three of you sit on the floor around the coffee table.
"Okay, my turn then," Misa says. "Never have I ever spied on someone through a security camera…"
"That is remarkably specific," Ryuzaki says.
"Isn't it?" Misa asks, giving him a sweet smile. He takes a drink, and after a moment, so do you.
"Never have I ever stalked someone," you say. Ryuzaki takes another drink. You look expectantly at Misa.
"What?" Misa says.
"Seriously?"
"What?"
"Misa-san, just take the drink," Ryuzaki advises.
"But I haven't stalked anyone!" Misa says.
"Looking me up online…?" you hint.
Misa rolls her eyes. "That was just so I could meet you, Light. I mean, how else was I supposed to find out where you lived?"
"Case in point," you say. "Stalking. Come on, Misa."
"It's totally different, Light," Misa explains. "I've actually been stalked before, and I know what it's like—"
"Well, so have I," you say. "I've been stalked plenty of times."
Ryuzaki takes another drink. You glance over, and he says mildly, "mm… I'm just agreeing with you."
"That I've been stalked?"
"That I've been stalked. But that too."
"Whatever!" Misa says. "Can we just forget about the stalking already? Never have I ever been handcuffed with a six-foot handcuff."
"Misa, it's not even your turn," you say.
She pouts.
"Never have I ever serenaded anyone," Ryuzaki says.
"Hey, no fair," Misa says. "You're ganging up on me!"
"Light-kun has to take a drink too…"
"What?" you say. "No I don't."
"Don't tell me you've forgotten everything you sang to me while you were in confinement…" Ryuzaki says.
What the fuck is he talking about?
"Ryuzaki," you say, "you're totally making stuff up."
"So you have," Ryuzaki says thoughtfully. You can pretty much see him adding a big red tally mark next to 'suspect definitely has signs of AMNESIA'. You glare at him.
"Never have I ever been handcuffed with a six-foot handcuff," Misa says again.
Both you and Ryuzaki take a drink, and Misa giggles.
"Hilarious," you say flatly. "Never have I ever gotten drunk."
Ryuzaki and Misa both take a sip of their tea, and Misa grabs the teapot to pour refills.
"Never have I ever had sex with a woman," Ryuzaki says. You choke.
"Ryuzaki…" you say. "That's not something you're supposed to brag about…"
"Ugh, so you're a virgin, you creep?" Misa says.
"I never said that."
Misa's eyes darken, and she smiles thinly. "Pervert," she singsongs.
"How about you, Light-kun?" Ryuzaki says.
"What—?"
"I don't see you taking a drink either," Ryuzaki says.
"I…" you glance over at Misa.
"He's young, Ryuzaki," Misa says. "There's nothing wrong with Light being a virgin."
You smile at her and say nothing.
"Never have I ever tied anyone up," Misa continues.
Ryuzaki takes a drink, and so do you.
"Who did Light-kun tie up?" Ryuzaki asks.
"School friends… it was a dumb game we used to play, you know, like one of us was the criminal or the outlaw and the other one was the samurai… you've seriously never done anything like that, Misa?" you ask.
"Boys' games, Light," she says. "When I was in school I focused on… you know…" she says delicately, "actually socializing."
"Yeah, well I focused on keeping up my GPA."
"Ooh, I'm so sorry…"
You're pretty tempted to smack that insincere look right off her face, but clench your hands instead, giving her a death-glare.
"Light-kun," Ryuzaki says, "it's your turn."
"Never have I ever stalked someone."
"Um, you already used that one," Misa points out.
"Well, someone didn't take a drink last time," you say.
"Never have I ever dropped out of school," Ryuzaki says, and he and Misa are suddenly looking at you expectantly.
"Yes you have," you say, frowning at him. "Like three months ago…?"
"No, that wasn't me, that was Ryuga Hideki," Ryuzaki says with an air of patient sufferance.
"Yes, it was. Just because you didn't enroll under your real name—"
"Light-kun seems very interested in this idea of my real name. I wonder why that could be?"
You scowl at him, but ignore the taunt, instead saying, "in any case, shouldn't Misa be taking a drink too?"
"What?" Misa says. "I totally finished all my compulsory schooling. Choosing not to go to college isn't 'dropping out,'" she says, sounding miffed. "Really Light, we all know you're the one who has to take a drink here."
As though to add insult to injury, Ryuzaki gestures to your cup.
"This game is stupid," you say, taking a drink and placing your cup back down on its saucer with a clatter.
"We can stop if you want," Misa says, looking a little abashed.
"Now that you've insulted me, is that it?"
"Light, come on," she whines. "You and Ryuzaki have been ganging up on me this whole time!"
"He's seriously been trying to get me just as much as you, Misa, I have no clue what you're talking about," you say.
She hmphs and looks away. Then she says, "Never have I ever had sex with someone I was chained to with a six-foot handcuff…"
"Misa!" you say.
She shrugs.
"That's absolutely disgusting. I'd never do that, and I can't believe you'd think something like that about me. Don't you trust me at all?"
Misa shrugs slightly but after a moment looks back at you. "Sorry, Light," she says. "I do… of course I do! I love you…" she reaches for your hand and you freeze as she grabs on tightly. "It's just Ryuzaki," she says, with a glare towards him. "He keeps getting in my head and making me wonder about all sorts of things…"
"Never have I ever told a lie," Ryuzaki says.
"That's a lie," you and Misa chorus at the same time.
Ryuzaki just shrugs and gives you a pointed look.
/
When you get back down to your floor, you say, "Really, Ryuzaki? 'Never have I ever had sex with a woman?' Is that even true?" You slip off your shoes in the hallway, and Ryuzaki slips off his.
"It could be," Ryuzaki says. "How about Light-kun's answer? Is that even true?"
"Look, I know what you're doing," you say. "Today I told you I was jealous of you paying attention to Misa and this afternoon you're trying to make me even more jealous and play us against each other. I just don't see how that's supposed to help you in your Kira investigation."
"What Kira investigation?" Ryuzaki says. "Phone."
You reach for your pocket, then stop short, giving him a flat look. "You've still got it from earlier."
"Oh, you're right," Ryuzaki says, reaching into his pocket and taking out your phone, putting it onto the console table.
"What do you mean, 'what Kira investigation?'" you ask.
"Well," Ryuzaki says, "if you weren't consciously the First Kira, and Misa-san wasn't consciously the Second Kira, then there is no Kira investigation. Every piece of evidence I had was, as you put it, 'controlled'… by the Kira who possessed you, and all I've done is play his game by going after two innocents. So why should I try to get a confession out of either of you?"
"Don't tell me you're actually giving up!" you say.
"What, you want me to get a confession out of you?"
"No, of course not! I want you to go after the Kira who's killing people!"
"Which would, of course, be entirely pointless. Kira would just leave that person and continue killing, and I would only have another innocent on my hands who'd been possessed and framed."
"So you're just going to let him win, is that it?"
"Maybe."
"No," you say. "We have to go after the Third Kira, and if you don't, the rest of the task force will."
"I know," Ryuzaki says, staring sadly toward the ceiling. "I can't disband the investigation, because if I do that, I know I'll be playing into Kira's game. But keeping everyone around seems to do the same…" he swings his arm, making the chain between you sway, pendulum-like. "And I can't let you go," he says. He looks over at you, seriously. "You understand that, don't you, Light-kun?"
"Yeah, of course," you say.
"I'm not talking about just now," he says. "Your future… going back to college, becoming a detective… it means a lot to you, doesn't it, Light-kun?"
"Sure," you say, "but solving this case is more important, you have to know that."
"And what if it never happens…? As long as Kira might possess you again, there's no way you can leave. We're in a stalemate, and unless Kira himself breaks it… this is it," Ryuzaki says. "This is your future." He gestures, to the hall, himself, and the chain between you.
.
.
.