Tags: [Comedy] [Romance] [Slice of Life]

Characters: [Sans Smirk] [Lil' Cheese] [Pinkie Pie] [Cheese Sandwich]

Written By: SuperPinkBrony12

Note: A loose follow-up to "Of Potties and Parties", also based on "Once Upon a Potty"

"Ah, it's not fair!" Lil' Cheese pouted and whined to his parents. "Why can't I go with you guys? I'm old enough."

Cheese Sandwich just playfully patted his son on the forehead. "Now junior, we've talked about this. You're only four and a half years old, and you're still in potty training. You only just graduated to the pull-ups phase not that long ago. If you were just a little further along, we could probably take you with us."

Pinkie Pie then smiled. "But your father and I want to celebrate our anniversary. We made these plans before you started getting really good at going potty when we ask you to. And you're still having accidents."

Lil' Cheese pouted further, plopping down promptly onto his pull-up. "I do not!" He insisted despite the blush forming on his cheeks.

Cheese Sandwich chuckled. "It's okay, son. Everypony has accidents from time to time. You just have to get used to learning the signals your body gives you," Then with a smile of his own he added. "Not to worry, though. I arranged for somepony very trustworthy to be your foalsitter tonight. And with him, I'm sure you won't have any problems."

Just then the doorbell rang, signaling somepony was waiting outside Sugarcube Corner.

"Ah, that must be the sitter now!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed and raced to the door to answer it.

On the other side of the door stood a very familiar looking stallion wearing glasses and a black suit, as well as a cutie mark depicting a wet blanket. "Hello, Mrs. Pie," He greeted in a formal, polite tone. "I am here to be the designated sitter for Lil' Cheese, just as your husband requested."

Pinkie's eyes went wide as she gasped! "Ooh! So this was the surprise he said he had in store for me. I never would've imagined you'd be good with foals, Sans Smirk."

Sans Smirk adjusted his glasses. "Well, I may not have much direct experience, but I have read many books on foalcare and have overseen tours of Mr. Sandwich's gag factory, many times having to entertain young ones as a result. I assure you, I would not have accepted the job if I did not believe I was up to it."

Cheese Sandwich bounced over but a moment later, extending a hoof. "Great to see you again, Sans, old buddy! Thanks a ton for agreeing on such short notice! All the usual candidates were too busy," He ushered him inside. "Lil' Cheese is just upstairs. Go ahead and introduce yourself to him. And remember, he only just graduated to pull-ups, so don't be surprised if he puts up a fuss during potty time. He's still getting the hang of doing it himself, I reckon it'll be a while before he's ready to start going bottomless."

Sans' overall expression did not change in the slightest. "That should not be a problem. You and your wife enjoy your night out. I shall ensure that Lil' Cheese is well taken care of: I will tend to his nutritional needs, keep him entertained, bathe him, and ensure he goes to bed at the designated time you assigned."

"Then I guess we'll leave you to it, Sans!" Pinkie cheerfully said to the stallion as she prepared to head out with her husband. Just before she trotted through the open front door, however, she gasped! "Oh, I almost forgot abut one little thing! Brb!" She hurriedly zipped upstairs in a pink blurr, then zipped back downstairs about a second or two later with something sparkly appearing to be stuffed into her mane. "Lil' Cheese probably doesn't need it anymore anyways, and I wouldn't want you to get freaked out. I'll have to talk to somepony about getting this little bit of 'borrowed' chaos magic back to where it belongs."

Sans could only blink and appear to smile ever so faintly. He had no real idea what his business partner's wife was talking about, and he decided it best not to try and get an answer out of her. He instead watched as the two party ponies trotted away into the night, ready to spend it with each other. Which meant it was now time for him to get acquainted with his charge for the evening.

Lil' Cheese was occupying himself by playing with Boneless Six, bouncing the rubber chicken up and down repeatedly and making funny noises with it. As a result, he didn't notice the sound of approaching hoofsteps, and the colt was only alerted to the presence of somepony else when he heard an abrupt clearing of the throat. He turned around fast and saw an unfamiliar stallion with glasses and a black suit standing before him.

"Hello, Lil' Cheese," Sans Smirk greeted in a formal, matter of fact tone of voice. "It is a pleasure to meet you. I am Sans Smirk, a friend of your mother and father, who asked me to watch over you tonight."

"Oh, okay," Lil' Cheese blinked. "I think Dad mentioned you once. Something about you running a gag factory with him or something."

Sans nodded. "Indeed I did, and still do to some extent. But business has been a bit slow as of late, so I have free time to be your designated foalsitter," A small smile crept onto his face even as his tone of voice didn't change in the slightest while saying. "I'm certain we will have a good time together, and hopefully we will be friends before the night is through."

The little colt nodded back. "Yeah, I hope so too. I LOVE to make new friends!"

"So I have heard," Sans replied and then trotted towards his young charge. "Now then, I assume your pull-up is not in need of changing, correct?"

Lil' Cheese gave a firm nod in confirmation. "Uh-huh, it's all nice and clean. I didn't have an accident."

Sure enough, upon inspecting the pull-up, Sans saw that his charge was telling the truth. "Good," He said in a matter of fact tone of voice. "Which means you will not object to a mandatory bathroom break now."

Lil' Cheese sat up and groaned, all but literally rolling his eyes. "I don't wanna! I don't have to go potty! When I do, I'll let you know."

Sans would not take no for an answer. "Well it is my understanding that you still are not always the best judge of character on that. It is my estimation that it has been a few hours since last you 'went potty' as it were," He not so gingerly started pushing the colt along. "Come on. It cannot hurt to try."

Lil' Cheese sighed, struggling in vain against the stallion as he was ushered down the hall to the bathroom. "You're no fun, Mr. Sans!" He grumbled. "Mommy and Daddy never do this to me."

"I'm quite certain that they do, they are just not as strict about it as I am," Sans explained. "The fact that you are in pull-ups means you are at least somewhat aware of what is expected of you, and that you are at least somewhat capable of understanding when you have to go," He pushed open the bathroom door and led his charge inside, his eyes soon falling upon a certain something. Or rather, a lack of a certain something. "Hm, most unexpected. I do not see a training potty anywhere. I would assume that means your parents believe you are old enough to use the toilet."

"Yeah!" Lil' Cheese nodded as he started shaking his pull-up, trying to pull it down. He frowned, however, as he noticed something else. "Aw, that's lame! Mommy must've taken away the chaos magic, that always makes potty time more fun! Having to sit on the big potty takes forever, especially when I don't feel like I have to go!"

Sans (after helping his charge pull down his pull-up) just replied as he watched Lil' Cheese clumsily scramble onto the toilet seat after the lid had been raised. "You know, Lil' Cheese, that actually reminds me of a story. It is a story about me when I was your age and in potty training. Well, actually, it's when I was just starting potty training."

"What?! You didn't start potty training until you were my age?!" Lil' Cheese gasped in amazement! "I thought most ponies started a lot younger than that."

The glasses wearing stallion quickly corrected. "I did indeed start at the age most ponies start, Lil' Cheese. My apologies, I should have explained that more clearly," He then cleared his throat. "Anyway, my story begins when one day my grandmother got me a big present. Before that day, I would always go pee-pee and poo-poo in my diapers, and my mother and father would change me. On that day, however, everything would change. My grandmother's present turned out to be a strange looking bowl, one that I had never seen before. I didn't know what it was: A hat? A flowerpot? A milk bowl for a cat? And do you know what it was?"

Lil' Cheese, with his legs dangling to either side of the toilet bowl, almost immediately seemed to grasp the answer! "It was a potty, wasn't it?! But not a Mommy and Daddy potty."

Sans nodded. "Correct, it was a potty intended for little ponies. My parents then told me I was to do my pee-pees and poo-poos in it instead of a diaper. That was something I was not used to, but nevertheless they insisted I try it out and so I did. I sat there on my potty. And sat, and sat, and sat, and sat some more. But nothing happened, nothing came out."

The colt with a curly pink mane and tail replied with a sympathetic tone of voice. "Oh, I know what that's like. It feels like that happens all the time whenever Mommy or Daddy try to make me go potty when I don't want to."

"Yes, and I felt the same feeling of frustration that you do now," Sans explained as he continued his story. "So eventually, I got up and trotted away. Then, later on, I did go pee-pee and poo-poo."

Lil' Cheese seemed amazed by Sans' story! "Wow! You got it right on your very first try! Mommy and Daddy both say hardly anypony does."

But something of a blush formed on Sans' face as he recalled. "Well… not exactly. I didn't go pee-pee or poo-poo in the potty. I did try to make it, but I didn't quite succeed. My parents were not happy about that," A sigh escaped his lips. "From that day onward, I decided not to bother with my potty at all. I felt like I couldn't tell when I had to go, so why should I bother trying to use something I wasn't ready for? I kept going pee-pee or poo-poo in my diapers, and my mother and father kept changing me. And it went on and on like that for at least a year, perhaps a little less. Until, one day, it happened!"

The little colt's eyes widened! "You mean…?!"

Sans Smirk firmly nodded. "Indeed. I felt that something inside of me was ready to come out. So I went to my potty, pulled down my diaper, and sat there. I sat, and sat, and sat, and sat, and sat some more. At last, just when I thought I was wrong and was ready to give up, I was able to do it! I successfully used my potty to go pee-pee and poo-poo! My mother and father were very proud of me, and I was too!" A smile started to form on his face as he continued. "They then helped me to wipe up, before they emptied my potty into the toilet and flushed its contents away. I wasn't scared or frightened of the flush the way some little ones are the first time they hear it, and I soon learned that I was too big to be flushed away if I should ever fall into the toilet."

"Uh-huh, Mommy and Daddy said the same thing to me." Lil' Cheese nodded in agreement.

Sans then finished. "So, from that day forward, I kept using my potty whenever I felt like I had to go pee-pee or poo-poo. And I continued to do so until the day my mother and father told me I was ready to start using the toilet. I did sometimes still not always make it in time, but that happened less and less the more I started sitting on the potty. It helped me to realize and recognize the signals, and I started doing a little experimentation to find out what would trigger them and when. Eventually, I was able to fully identify when I had to go right down to the second. And when I did that, my accidents stopped happening."

"Wow!" Lil' Cheese exclaimed once the story had ended. "That's so amazing, Mr. Sans! You became a pottying pro in such a short amount of time!" He sighed as his mane and tail seemed to deflate a little bit. "I wish I could be as good as you when you were my age. Maybe then I could go bottomless and Mommy and Daddy would take me more places."

"Do not be so discouraged, Lil' Cheese," Sans Smirk reassured his charge. "The point of my story is that everypony learns at their own time and pace. If a pony like me could go from not wanting to use the potty at all to being able to use the potty with perfection precision in the span of only a few years, I'm sure you can do the same. After all, you have already made it all the way to the pull-ups stage, and you can use the grown-up potty with only a little assistance. I have encountered more than a few foals your age who have made nowhere near as much progress. Some of them are even still in diapers, though they do tend to be far and few in between."

The little colt was amazed! "Really?!"

Sans nodded back. "Yes indeed," He then cleared his throat. "Now then, I believe you have sat upon the toilet for long enough. If my calculations are correct and it has been as long as I believe it has been since your last potty time, the results should more or less speak for themselves."

"What do you mean?" Lil' Cheese asked as he blinked in confusion.

Sans trotted forward. "Well, just look down into the toilet bowl. I believe you will understand what I'm talking about."

The colt with a curly pink mane and tail did so. And when he did he almost leapt off the seat and into the air in surprise and delight! "I… I did it! I went potty!" He cheered, putting his hooves together as a stream of confetti poured out from between them! "Oh thank you, Mr. Sans! How did you know I had to go even when I thought I didn't?"

The glasses wearing stallion explained. "Simple estimation work on my part, based on prior experience," He then pulled some rolls of toilet paper from a nearby rack. "Do you require any help in cleaning up?"

Lil' Cheese shook his head from side to side. "Nu-uh, I can do it all by myself!" He proceeded to wipe his rump, dump the used rolls in the toilet, and flush it all away. Then he trotted to the sink to wash his hooves.

Sans, for his part, just smiled. He was managing quite well with Lil' Cheese, and he hoped his story would inspire his charge to take potty breaks more often.