I still can't believe they're gone...

I sigh, knowing that dwelling on this feeling isn't doing us any good. We've only been back on the tracks for about ten minutes and it already feels like an eternity with them gone. I try to get my mind off things by taking pictures with my camera...but it just feels empty right now. They're good photos, I even captured an eagle as it flew over the train like it was following us. I tried to pass the time by playing Chuck's guitar but I only picked at the strings until I gave up. Lee takes a seat by Clementine who's been sitting on the edge of the boxcar side door, I decide to check on them and I sit by the little one."

"Hey, Kiddo."

"Hi..."

"You want to talk?" Lee asked.

"Uh-uh..." Clementine shook her head.

"...Do you understand what happened?" I ask.

"Yes."

"Okay. What are you thinking about?"

"What Chuck said."

I tilt my head. "What did he say?"

"That what happened to Duck...would happen to me."

"What?!"

"The fuck he did..."

"Swear."

"Sorry," Lee stands up and I soon follow. "I'm gonna go talk some sense into him."

"I'm coming with you."

"Please don't be mad..." Clem said by Lee and I only have our attention on the old-timer.

Oh, I'm more than mad, Clementine.

We find him at the front of the train leaning against the railing and looking off into the distance. "Hey."

The elder looked to the both of us and smiled. "How y'all doin'?"

"The fuck is your deal, old man?" I demand.

"What's that mean?"

"I don't care what reasons you had for doing it," Lee began to elaborate. "no reason to go and tell our girl she's gonna end up dead!"

"...'Cause she is."

"..."

"..."

The nerve of this-

"I don't know much about you folks, but I can tell you, sure as the sun's gon' come up tomorrow, that y'all keep going on like this and that girl ain't gonna make it."

"What do you know?"

"I know that you two don't have a goddamn plan. We get to Savannah and then what?"

"We find a boat," Lee answered.

"You think that's a new idea? You got even the foggiest idea 'bout where you're gonna find one of those?"

"Then we figure it out like we always do."

"Well get to figurin', son because it'll be on top of us before you know it. Look, sit down with the girl, and hash it out. Find a map for Christ's sake, I'd give you one if I had it. And if something were to happen to you two.-"

"It won't." We say.

"...If it were, you gotta prepare the girl. Teach her to use a weapon, and for criminy, cut that hair."

"Like a gun?"

"You can't be serious." I roll my eyes.

"What? She's 'too young' to handle one? There ain't too young, not anymore. Y'all gotta consider her a living person. That's it. You're either living or you're not. You ain't little, you ain't a girl, you ain't a boy, you ain't strong or smart. You're alive. Look at her hair.

"..." I hate to admit it, but he's actually making a lot of sense.

"Y'all got her running around with a mop that's gonna act like Velcro to any hands swingin' its way. Find some scissors in my pack and take care of that hair before a walker does it for you. And then show her how to use a gun, because, like it or not, that's what saves your life from here on out."

"...Okay."

"Yeah, alright."

"Explain to her how they work and not to be afraid. I don't mean to tell y'all how to do your job, but too many people have died already..."

"...They have."

"You have no idea."

"And seein' another little girl die...might just do me in."

"...Shit," I mutter under my breath.

"We hear you. A plan, a haircut, and a gun. It's good advice."

"It's somethin'."

Lee and I leave Chuck and make our way back to the boxcar, I see Ben hanging at the end of the engine car with his head in his hand. Lee goes on ahead into the boxcar but I decide to check on the kid. "Hey, Ben."

He looks at me. "Hey."

"...See ya."

"...Yeah."

I go back into the boxcar. I...don't know why I did that. Oh, well. Lee looks to me as I enter. "Hey."

"Yeah?"

"What do you think of that guy's advice?"

"He's got some good points, I'll admit that. But...do you have any idea how to cut a person's hair?"

"Nope. No idea."

"Me neither." Great...this should be good. "Hey, Clem."

The little one looks back at us as we sit down beside her. "Did you guys talk to him?"

"Yeah, we did," said Lee. "he had some, uh...he explained himself and made some good points."

"Yeah, the important thing is that we're not gonna let anything happen to you. But there are some precautions we have to take."

"Okay, yeah," Clem nods. "that makes sense. What should we do?"

"Well, we're gonna figure out a plan for when we get to Savannah," Lee starts explaining. "teach you how to protect yourself, and, uh, tidy you up a little so you can't get grabbed so easily."

Clementine smiles. "I'd like that."

"Good."

"That's the spirit, kiddo." I stand up and Lee does the same.

"First things first, you need to know how to protect yourself."

Clementine stands and adjusts the sleeve on her Brooklyn hoodie. "Like hiding or running away? Got it."

"Not exactly," I say before I pull my pistol from my holster. I check the chamber to make sure that it's not loaded right now, but I remember I used the last bullet in the magazine on...Duck. I shake off the rising uneasiness and show Clementine the pistol. "We mean with one of these."

"Oh..."

"Don't be afraid of it, it's just a thing."

"Go ahead, take it, Clem. But know where your finger is at all times, and only put your finger on the trigger when you're ready to hurt someone."

She takes the pistol from me. "Okay. Okay."

"See? It's not scary," Lee encouraged.

"It's heavy."

"You'll get used to it, Kiddo." I kneel down do her level and point to the iron sights. "To aim, you need to look down this little notch here and line up the end with your target. You never want to fire from the hip or you'll spread bullets all over the place and look like an ass."

"Swear."

"Sorry."

Clementine practices aiming away from us for a second and looks back up to Lee. "Is there anything else I should know?"

"Squeeze the trigger, steadily, okay? Don't give it a yank or pull."

"Steady," Clementine nods. "I can do that."

"And when you're ready to shoot," I add. "make sure you're not breathing too hard or fast, and then hold your breath right before you pull the trigger."

"Like when I'm swimming?"

I shake my head. "Nah, just for a second. Carley taught me if I did that my aim would be more accurate. It's tough, but it helps a lot."

"I can do that, okay."

"And here's another thing. Go ahead and aim the gun for a second," Clementine follows my command and aims away. "Here, cover your other thumb here and hold on tight."

"Okay," She follows my command and I try to take the gun from her but her grip i strong.

"See? You always want a firm grip on your gun so it can't be snatched away from you."

"Yeah, okay."

"Do you feel up for some target practice?" Lee asked.

"I think so."

I grab my extra magazine from my pocket and show it to Clementine. "This is a magazine, it holds all the bullets. To load it, you want to press that little button on the side here," I point to where I mean. "Go ahead," Clementine presses it and the loaded magazine falls out of the pistol and I catch it before it can hit the ground. "Now, take this one, put it in, and give it a hard tap with the palm of your hand." Clementine follows my directions. "Now pull back on the chamber."

"The what?"

"He means the top of the gun, Sweet Pea," Lee points out. "Right here."

"Okay," Clementine loads the bullet into the chamber after a few pulling attempts. "I got it."

"Nice job," I take a few steps away and set an empty glass bottle on a nearby crate. "Let's do this," I do my best cockney voice as I smirk. Lee and Clementine don't pay any mind to it though.

Clementine aims at the bottle. "Good. Don't lock your elbows," Lee adjusts her arms and covers her ears. "Okay, let's the the first shot. Squeeze the trigger smoothly and I'll cover your ears."

"Nice and easy, Clem."

"Nice...and easy..."

BANG!

"Eee!"

She missed, but that was expected. "You okay, kiddo?"

"My hands hurt. I don't like this." She looks up at me.

"You'll get used to it, let's just stick with it for now, okay?"

"Do I have to?" She wined.

"Yeah, you do," I say more firmly before Lee covers her ears again. I look where she's aiming. "Okay, just a little more to the right...focus."

BANG!

CRASH!

Clementine manages to shoot the bottle, she looks at the two of us and smiles. "I got it!"

"Excellent, good shot!"

"Way to go, Clem!" I pat her head before I set up another bottle for her to take out. I think we should keep going until she can hit it without missing. Lee covers her ears again and she aims at the bottle.

BANG!

She misses and Lee looks down her sights. "Okay, aim just a little higher."

"Okay..."

BANG!

CRASH!

"There you go," I exclaim. "Nice!" I set up hopefully one last bottle. You got this, kiddo.

BANG!

CRASH!

"I did it!"

"Yeah, you did!"

"Good job!"

"I squeezed the trigger just like you said, and when I held my breath, it didn't shake so much."

"See? You did a good job."

"They're not walkers, though."

"No, far from it. But you know how these things work now. We'll graduate you to walkers one day."

"Okay," The kid nodded and smiled. "I feel good."

"Not so scary, huh, kiddo?" I pat her encouragingly on the shoulder and she shakes her head.

"Nuh-uh."

Now with that out of the way... "You're probably not gonna like this next part."

"What do you mean?" She tilted her head.

"We need to talk about your hair," said Lee. "It's not safe."

Clementine scowled at him. "That's not nice."

"What?"

"Are you saying it smells?"

"No."

"What?"

"Because it does, kinda."

This makes me laugh a little. "Everyone smells, Clementine."

Lee laughs at my joke for a second before he goes back to being serious. "Do you remember when Andy St. John grabbed your hair, clem? And we got mad?"

"Yeah," She nods.

"Well, that could happen again. And if it's a walker, well...we need to trim it."

"...Just a trim, right?"

"We need to cut it short enough so it can't be grabbed," I say.

The little one sighs. "Okay..."

"Are you okay if we did it now?" Lee asked as I looked around for Chuck's bag, I eventually found it by the crate and the scissors the old-timer mentioned inside.

"I guess not."

"Don't mope. It's a good thing."

"In fact..."

I take off my beanie and pocket it. I only now realized how much my hair has grown out, so I decided that Clementine wouldn't be alone in this. I collect a major portion of my hair and use the scissors to snip it away from my head.

"There, Clem. Now I'm safer."

"...Okay." I handed Lee the scissors as Clementine kneeled on the floor and took off her hat. I put mine back on and kneel beside her as Lee starts trimming Clem's hair. "Do you know how to do this?"

"How hard can it be?" Lee jokingly said.

"I'm going to look like a boy," Clem found no comfort in his tone.

"But think how much safer you'll be," I say.

"I'd rather be dead."

"Shush now." We say and Lee keeps on timing away Clem's deep brown hair, turning her head now that he's done one side.

"So you did kill someone before."

"Yeah," Lee said.

"I'm glad you finally told me."

"Me too."

"Now you and Elijah kill lots of things now, it doesn't even matter."

"Killing is awful no matter what, Clementine," I say.

"But you and Lee do it to protect yourself, and to protect me."

"That doesn't make it good," Lee stated.

"But you have to."

"We do it only when we have to," I point out. "Walkers are monsters, but killing a person is different. I did it so they couldn't hurt anyone else ever again...or to put them out of their misery. Do you understand that, Clem?"

She nodded. "I think so."

"Okay, I think I'm about done," said Lee. I take a look at his work. It's not that bad, honestly. "I can probably tie these pieces back with something."

"Here," Clementine reaches into her pocket and pulls out two hair bands. "I have some hair thingies."

"You do?"

"Yeah," She nodded. "Sandra gave them to me for sleeping."

Lee takes a second to tie Clementine's hair into two small pigtails. "There. All set."

The little one feels her new hairstyle and pouts soon after. "Does it look dumb?" Clem asks us.

"Haha, no," Lee pats her head. "You look cute," He hands her her signature hat. "and a lot harder to grab."

"You look fine, kiddo."

"...My mom isn't going to like it."

That's two things out of the way, now to make a plan for when we get to Savannah. We don't have a map and I doubt that I'll find one in here. "I'll be back." I was about to leave Lee and Clementine in the boxcar but something caught my eye, a bottle of...whiskey? I take it in my hands and shake it to feel how much is in it. Hmm...about a fifth, i think. I take it with me just in case, Lord knows that Kenny could use it.

I reach the front end of the train and find myself talking with Chuck again. "Hey, old man."

"Yo."

I take out the bottle of whiskey and show it to him. "I found this in the cart back there." He sees the bottle in my hand and smiles.

"Damn, didn't realize I had it left. Thank ya," Chuck takes a swig from the bottle before he holds it out to me. "Want a nip?"

"..." I know I prolly shouldn't, but... "Sure." I take the whiskey bottle and pour some down my throat. "Eugh..." Damn, that burns.

The old timer chuckled at my reaction before taking back the bottle. "Not known for its finish."

"That's putting it lightly."

"Anybody in there want to share a drink, you let 'em know."

I nod. "We'll be making a plan with the girl soon, but where are you heading?"

"Eh, that way." Chuck pointed in front of us.

"I meant when we get to Savannah."

"Got a few ideas. We'll all have a talk when we get there about whether or not you folks want my company."

"Fair enough," We listen to the sound of the train for a moment before I speak up again. "...I shot the kid, you know."

"I suppose someone had to."

"...What a fuckin' mess."

"You said it, son."

"What about you? You got family out there?"

"Out there somewhere. Been sort on my own for the past...oh, fourteen years now."

Damn, so he's been like this even before everything. "You're homeless then?"

"Suppose. I've had homes here and there and they just don't work out, you know?"

I nod. "Yeah," I know I shouldn't pry into his business, but what he said before about seeing another little kid die... "Earlier, when you said something about 'seeing another little girl die,' what exactly did you mean?"

"..."

"Sorry," I shake my head. "Ain't my business anyhow."

"Nah, it's alright, son," Chuck takes another swig from the whiskey. "Just this little one who'd need through a hell I couldn't even imagine found her way into my old camp, girl couldn't even feed herself. I let her stay with me for a while...till one of those damn creeps came along. Girl froze and just..."

"You don't have to say anything else."

"...Don't really know why I'm talkin' bout this, but...thank ya."

I shook my head. "It wasn't nothin'." With nothing much else to talk about, I leave Chuck alone and head inside the engine car cab. Kenny glances at me but says nothing. "Hey, Ken."

"...You, me, and Lee. We...uh," He can't seem to find the right words. "Fuck it. Let's just get to the ocean."

I nod. "Of course."

"And...what you did for me..."

"It's okay, Kenny. You don't have to say anything."

"...He looked up to you, you know? Like you were the coolest big brother he'd always beg for."

"Yeah..."

"It's just...thank you."

"Of course, Kenny," I remember what Chuck told me. "Chuck wanted me to let you know if you needed a drink."

"...He's got some?"

"Yeah," I nodded.

"..." Kenny gets up from his seat and heads to the front of the train. "Yeah, that'd help."

He leaves me alone to keep an eye on the console, giving me a moment to look around for a map. Surely the engineer kept a map or something to where he's going. Alright, jackpot! I found a map of Savannah in the bins over the engineer's seat, just in time as Kenny came back inside the cab.

"Thanks..."

I nod to Kenny before I leave the cab and start walking back to the boxcar. I had my hand on the door handle before Ben's voice stopped me from going inside.

"It was me..."

"What?" I turned back to him and he looked up at me...with pain in his eyes.

"I was the one giving the bandits supplies."

"...What?!" I can feel my pupils dilate as I stand back on the engine car and stand in front of the kid.

"...It's all my fault."

"..." So everything that happened... The bandits...Doug...Carley...Katjaa...Duck... "...I could kill you right fucking now."

"W-What?" Ben noticed my reaction.

"You think I won't?" I step slowly toward him, getting right in his scared face. I swear that I can see his soul shaking. "All would take is one push off this train."

"No! I... Elijah, please!"

"Give me a reason why I shouldn't, and it better not be an excuse."

"They said they had my friend! I didn't know what to do!"

"What friend? Last time I checked, the only friends I've seen you 'have' was that teacher who nearly became human barbeque and that 'special forces' daddy's boy!"

"T-They said they had someone with the same letterman I wear! I swear to you! Elijah, please!"

"..."

I back off. Even though he made what might be the biggest mistake of his life, I can't just kill him for something that he had absolutely no control over. Who knows what the hell those fuckers said that forced Ben to do such a thing.

"I had to tell someone."

"I bet you did...but I'm warning you," I grab him by the collar of his jacket and pull him down to my eye level. "If you mention this to anyone else, I'm going to be the least of your worries. And God forbid that Kenny finds out about this, understand?"

"Y-Yeah! I hear you!"

"You better," I release him, leaving Ben to wallow in his decision. I go back in the boxcar, Lee and Clementine have been waiting for me as they sit on the edge of the doorway. "Lee, I got a map."

"A map?" Clementine questioned.

"Yeah," Lee answered as I sat beside Clementine. "We need to talk about Savannah, all three of us, and what we're gonna do when we get there," I open the map and place it between Lee and Clementine. "The city could be totally under control. The thing is, you, me, and Elijah, we're a team, you know? And a team needs a plan. Aside from everyone else, when this train stops, the three of us know exactly what we're doing."

Clem nods and smiles at Lee. "A plan. I like it."

"Ha, good," I don't really know what we should do when we get to Savannah. I do like Kenny's plan with a boat, but who knows what the hell we'll find in the city. I don't want to abandon the others, well, mostly Kenny. But I don't know how much longer we're gonna last. "I think we should look for your parents."

"What?"

"Really?"

"Yeah," Lee nodded. "You need to know if they're okay. And, well, if they're not, what happened to them."

"I'm sure they're okay," Clem stated as if it were a matter of fact.

"Don't get your hopes up, Clem," I remember Lee telling me about the voicemails Diana left, more specifically, the one that sounded like her last words for Clementine. "We don't know what happened, but that's exactly what we'll find out."

"Yeah," Lee agrees. "Let's look at the map. If we can figure out where they were we can start there."

"Okay, let's."

Lee starts pointing at the map. "It looks like we'll come right through town if there's nothing on the tracks holding us up. Now, we've got a good chunk of Savannah here. What do you think?"

"They always stay in the same place when they go there. It's, uh...hmm."

"It's okay, Kiddo. I'm sure you'll remember."

"Have you been there? What about you, Elijah?"

"Me and Clem have been there once, Diana and Ed invited me, Sandy, and my mom during summer break."

"Mm-hmm!" Clem nodded. "They have really tasty desserts. It's called the M... M something... Mar..."

"Is this it?" Lee points at the map. "The Marsh House?"

"Yes, that's it!"

"So the three of us will head there then."

"Yes!"

"That's the spirit, Clem," I pat her head. "You think we have a good plan?"

"I think it's very good! I'm glad we have a plan."

"And you're a crack shot now," I add, making her giggle.

"Thanks."

"Now, I guess we should see how far-"

"Oh, shit!" The three of us hear Kenny call from the front of the engine car. "Hold on, everybody!"

The train squeals as Kenny hits the brakes, nearly making the three of us fall off the train. Lee and I hold onto Clementine so she stays upright and the train starts slowing down.

Shit, what is it this time?