Author's note: This is where the blatant abelism comes in. Kimahri's family is TOXIC!
After the weekend, Nes and I pick up Lulu, and head to the university. It's open house day, and I hope that the info displays will help them decide what to do after school. Sure, I would be glad to have Nes join my business any time, but somehow I doubt that he would be happy in that line of trade.
The day passes uneventfully. We listen to speeches about the different schools, visit the alchemy laboratories, follow a guided tour around the campus, and in the end have coffee in a nice coffee shop on campus.
All day long, I watch the couple, and what I see helps to soothe my fears. They are cute with each other, not very overt with their tenderness, but it's still obvious to somebody who knows them well. Maybe all is well. I still cannot but wonder what happened to Chappu, though.
During coffee break, Lulu declares herself impressed with the alchemy laboratories, and starts leafing through the little pile of flyers she has amassed. Lulu in a lab coat, using her black magic to blow up mixtures? The idea makes me laugh, but at the same time, I can just imagine that this might be something for her.
Our way out and back to the car takes us past a big sphere display where pictures of young people float in and out of the screen, together with some notes about them. Nes makes a beeline for it, and Lulu and I have no choice but to follow.
"Kimahri is somewhere on there," he calls over his shoulder, and my eyebrows jump into my hairline. So his parents really are serious.
When we arrive at the display a grey-haired man approaches me, the sign fixed on the front of his formal shirt marking him as an alumni of the university.
"Good day, Lady," he addresses me, while the kids search for Kimahri's profile. "My name is Ciloc, I am a member of the Friends of the University. We aspire to find sponsors for those applicants whose academic achievements qualify them for acceptance at our university, but whose financial situation does not. Are you thinking about supporting one of these young people?"
He hands me a leaflet and I automatically take it, his words barely registering with me. I, too, am busy looking for Kimahri's profile.
A few seconds later, the big guy floats into the centre of the screen.
The man, Ciloc, is still talking to me, apparently not in need of any encouragement on my part. Once Kimahri's picture is gone again, I thank him for his time and we take our leave.
"Nes," I ask, as we make our way back to the parking lot, "do you have any idea why Kimahri's parents will not support him at university?"
Nes shrugs. "He's deaf."
I stare blankly at Nes. His statement just doesn't process.
It takes me a couple of days to figure out how I am to afford tuition fees for two, but once I'm sure that it will work somehow, I dig out the leaflet Ciloc has given me and make a sphere call to the Friends of the University.
"Mum?" Nes enters the kitchen just as I put the groceries on the counter top. "Can we talk?"
I look at him, mildly alarmed. This is hardly ever a reassuring conversation gambit.
"Sure," I tell him, and Nes turns to help me with unpacking the bags.
I look at his back for a moment, but he doesn't turn around, neither does he say anything. So I shrug and put away our food.
When the bags are empty, Nes looks at me and finally gets it off his heart.
"We want to travel, during the break between school and university. Is that okay?"
I slightly shake my head, confused, and proceed to make some coffee. I have a feeling that this conversation is going to be intense.
Still without saying a word, Nes takes out two mugs and some milk, and places everything on the table.
"Have you any idea where you want to go?"
"If we have time, we want to travel through all of Spira. As children, Yuna and Kimahri lived on Besaid for a while. Wakka's and Lulu's ancestors hail from there. Kimahri still has family on Mount Gagazet." Nes shrugs and takes a sip of his coffee. "Tidus wants to visit the Blitzball stadium in Luca. Yuna wants to see the Moonflow. We are all curious about the Farplane, except for Rikku, that is. Maybe we'll even have time for a detour to Bikanel Island, where Rikku lived until recently."
"What would you want to see?" I ask him, over the rim of my cup.
"Gagazet, Guadosalam, Macalania Forest…" Nes smiles, then shrugs. "There are so many possibilities!"
"Have you decided on an itinerary yet?"
"No. We are still not sure we are all allowed to go."
"Are you seeing any problems?"
"Sir Cid doesn't like to let Rikku out of his sight, and Tidus has no idea at all how Sir Auron will react. He thinks he'll probably smirk and tell him to try and not get eaten by the fiends."
Oh yes, I can practically see that scene unfold.
"As for Wakka and Lulu, they are of age. They'll have to leave the temple soon, anyway. Yuna, too is not sure how her adoptive parents will react, and as to Kimahri…" His nose puckers, and I snort. "They'll probably lock him up in his room. Or they'll tell him to go and not come back. Either is possible."
"That bad?" I ask with a raised eyebrow. I can't believe it. Kimahri is a great person, and it makes me angry that his parents are unable to see that.
Nes nods. "Yes, that bad. He's found a sponsor through the Friends of the University, his parents aren't pleased about it."
"What would they want him to do!" I cry, disbelievingly.
"They want him to 'be accepting of and to stay within his limitations', at least that's how they put it," Nes explains, making airquotes. "Probably means that he should get some job doing manual labour or something," Nes huffs.
I shake my head, defeated. It's not that I can do anything.
"Nes," I say and he looks at me. "If Kimahri ever…" I don't know what to say, so I clear my throat and try again. "I just want you to know that he'll always be welcome here, okay?"
Nes looks me in the eye, his face solemn. "Okay," he says at last.
"Well, and as for that trip… You are old enough to decide what you want to do. You don't need my permission to go."
"I'd like to have it."
I smile, as I feel so very appreciated at this moment. I just practically told him to do what he feels like, and he still asks my opinion. I don't have words to express hove much I love this boy, he makes me so very proud.
"Oh Nes, I will certainly not keep you at home if you are willing to travel. I think it's great! There's so much to see in this world, and so many generations before you never had the opportunity because of this everlasting War. Make the most of it!" I shrug, not knowing what more to say. "Seriously, the Moonflow, Besaid, Guadosalam… speaking of it makes me want to come with you!"
He throws me a horrified look, and I double over, laughing.
"Never fear, I can tell that this is something you would not want your old aunt to tag along for," I let him know when I am able to breathe again.
"Mum…"
I interrupt him. "Really, I understand. This is not about me, this is about you. This is your story. I am so proud of you, Nes. You have grown to be a wonderful young man, and you and your friends have made so much progress with your outdoor and battle skills, you'll do well. I will of course worry myself half to death from the moment you leave until you are safely home, but that's nothing you should waste any thoughts on. My job is to worry, and your job is to go out there and conquer the world."
I have tears in my eyes. My sister comes to mind, unbidden, and I wonder what she would think of Nes if she were able to meet him now.
"Now go, before I cry like a baby!"
Slightly panicked, Nes jumps up from his chair, gives me an awkward hug and runs off. A few minutes later, I'm still at the table lost in thoughts, he leaves the house, saying something about hanging out on Tidus' house boat. I sigh and put our coffee things in the kitchen.
I really hope that they are all able to go. The group works so well together, even with the only very recent addition of Rikku. If one of them were unable to come, they'd be sorely missed.
In no time at all, it's the end of the school year and the kids are supposed to leave on their trip the next day. After some deliberation, they have agreed on taking a ship from Zanarkand all the way down south to Besaid, and from there, work their way back up north.
They have also decided that their last evening at home warrants a party, so they have turned the house boat into a party boat. No doubt, Auron is thrilled. Not.
My suspicions are confirmed when Tidus, over at our place for a last planning session, saunters into the living room where I am trying to get some paperwork done. As an aside, I Hate paperwork. Hate, capital H.
"Lady Eanna?" He nervously scratches the back of his neck. "I was wondering, Auron will probably not be too pleased to be alone with us for the party, would you mind terribly to come, too? To keep him company?"
I raise a sceptical eyebrow, and wonder what they told Auron why he needs to be there, in the first place. Knowing him as I do, I bet he would just leave the kids to themselves and enjoy an evening out.
"Pretty please?" Tidus tries again. Obviously, they have not given up on their plan of getting Auron and me together. I mentally shrug my shoulders. Well, as it happens, that suits me quite well.
"Okay, I'll be there."
"Really?! I mean, great! See you!" And he's off again, joining the others in Nes's room before I can change my mind.
When I arrive at the houseboat with Nes, Lulu and Wakka, Kimahri, Yuna and Rikku are already there. Tidus, trying for generous host, gets me something to drink.
"Auron's up on deck," he lets me know. I roll my eyes at him and make for the stairs. As promised, Auron is up on the deck which sits on top of the boat's roof. How is that thing called? I have absolutely no idea about boats. He leans on the railing with his back to the water and is just taking a sip of his beverage when I join him. Instead of looking at the city, however, I choose to look over the bay.
"Good evening," he says.
I smile at him. "Good evening." I take a sip of my drink, and my eyes widen. It's a sticky sweet cocktail which is generally not a bad thing, if the fruit juice were not just an alibi to lend it some colour. This is strong! I have to be careful, I need to drive after the party. With regards to the fact that I'm supposed to deliver Nes, Yuna and Kimahri to the dock tomorrow at sunrise, I can't let this escalate even a little bit.
"Yours, too?" Auron asks drily, and I laugh.
"Those kids are not giving up, are they?"
"Apparently not. I really do hope some fiend on Old Mi'ihen High Road will eat that boy! But then, there is sure no such luck for me." Seemingly resigned to his fate, Auron takes another sip of his drink, and pulls a face. "This is not even good!"
He had me grinning at the luck part, but I laugh openly at his outrage about the taste of his cocktail. Not paying attention, I automatically take a sip of mine, and promptly choke on the alcohol. Auron grunts out a laugh and forcefully pats my back.
"I'm fine, thanks," I wheeze, tears in my eyes. I can't tell if they are from the alcohol, or from Auron's back-patting. Either way, he stops and I try to even my breathing.
"You're right," I tell him when I'm back in control, "this stuff is vile."
We both settle back on the railing next to each other, Auron looking at the city and me looking over the bay. I risk a glance at him, but his face is inscrutable. As I am to his right, I have a clear view on the scar sealing his eye shut. I'd like to touch it, but I do not dare. I have no idea how he would react to such an intimate gesture, so completely out of the blue. My gaze wanders to his greying temples and otherwise black hair. Suddenly, I remember something.
"In the news coverings, after the War, you wore your hair long. In a ponytail." The words are out before I have a chance to run them through my brain-mouth-filter. Auron shrugs and doesn't answer, and I have to force myself to continue breathing while I wait for a sign if I made him angry.
"I let my hair grow out after I left the warrior monks, then had it cut after the War," he answers at length. "Damn inconvenient to take care of with only one hand." His voice is very calm.
"I'm sorry," I say quietly, "it was not my place to ask."
"Never mind." Auron turns around to lean on the railing in the same direction as I do. He looks down at me and throws me a slight smile, but almost immediately turns away again, looking out over the bay.
"What do you think of this trip?" I ask him, in order to break the silence.
"It is dangerous, of course, but the children are as ready as can be. Spira is vastly different from Zanarkand, it will be a once in a lifetime experience."
"You surprise me."
"How so?"
"You usually react with a good measure of disdain to Tidus's plans and ideas." I shrug. "Your support in this comes as a surprise."
"It is time the boy sees something of the world," is the only answer I get.
"Has Tidus told his father about it?"
"Tidus has not been to see Jecht since his first year of school, and I do not force him to. They do not get along well." Auron takes a deep breath, almost a sigh. "I told Jecht. He likes the idea. Thinks it is time the boy became a man."
"You see Jecht on a regular basis?"
"Once a week, more often if I can find the time."
"You never told me what you do with your time," I challenge. Technically, he doesn't have to, I know. Judging from his smirk, he knows that, too.
"I own and lead an agency. We specialise in personal security."
I mirror his smirk. "Once a guardian, always a guardian, huh?"
Auron inclines his head. "It is the only trade I ever learned. Even though I have not been any good at it." The sarcasm in his voice almost physically hurts me.
"Auron," I begin, but we are interrupted by Yuna who runs up the stairs to let us know that dinner is ready.
Auron avoids me the rest of the night, and it hurts. I am in love with this guy, and I have it bad. Still, I have no idea what to do about it. By the Fayth, I haven't tried to flirt since I married Michael! Everything after his death just sort of happened, and as I wasn't looking for anything serious I wasn't upset when it didn't.
When the party draws close to its natural end, I tell Nes, Lulu and Wakka that we are leaving. It's late and tomorrow is a big day. They agree, and I go look for our hosts to say goodbye. I find them in the back of the boat, Auron on the stairs apparently on his way up, and Tidus on the bottom, looking up at his guardian. The second I hear their whispered argument, it's glaringly obvious that I caught them in a bad moment.
"What are you going to do about Lady Eanna?" Tidus asks with an impatient whisper.
"What would you suggest I do?" Auron's growl is low and menacing.
"I don't know" Tidus hisses. "Take her on a date! Go out for dinner! Whatever, just DO something!" The boy throws up his hands, in despair or anger, I can't tell.
"Just one question, Tidus." Auron's voice is as hard as the finest Gagazet granite. "What do you think a woman like her would want with an ugly ass cripple like me?"
I cannot help my gasp, and Tidus's head snaps around. I don't know whether or not Auron knows it's me, but he uses Tidus's distraction to remove himself from the scene.
"We are leaving," I tell Tidus after a slight hesitation that's just a moment too long. "I just wanted to say goodbye."
Tidus is obviously unsure about how much I have heard, and I fervently hope that he will not continue the conversation he just had with his guardian with me. He opts to drop the subject.
"Fine, well, see you tomorrow!" he answers, way too upbeat.
"See you tomorrow," I repeat, my voice unnaturally high. I clear my throat and nod at Tidus.
Later in the car, I cannot get the scene out of my head. Auron's words haunt me. An ugly ass cripple like me, is that really how he sees himself? It was too dark to see more than his silhouette, partly obscured by shadows. I would love to have seen the expression on his face when he said those words! It would be just like Auron to say such a thing to get Tidus off his back, but his tone of voice… I shake my head, as if I could shake the memory.
The next morning, Nes and I are up early. We are mostly silent as we go through our morning routine and have breakfast together. The thought that this will be our last breakfast together for quite some time makes me emotional. I drink in every detail of his face, his hair, the way he moves.
"Are you going to cry?" Nes asks, as we load his weapons and bedroll into the car.
"Probably," I tell him and get into the pilot's seat. "I'll try not to, though."
The scene that unfolds when we pick up Kimahri and Yuna is rather awkward for all parties. Apparently, Kimahri's parents are very opposed to his going. They give Yuna a grand goodbye, with hugs and kisses all over, but can spare none of it for their son.
"Are you sure you want someone like him along?" Kimahri's father asks Nes at one point. Seriously, this guy is literally nearly twice my size, but I find myself calculating my chances on a direct attack. A straightforward, physical attack, because to simply zap him to oblivion would not remotely satisfy.
Nes, however, deals with the man in his own unique way. "Gladly," he tells him, his voice colder than my best Blizzaga; and proceeds to take Kimahri's bedroll out of his hands to load it into our glider.
I favour Kimahri's father with a withering glance of my own, and we are off towards the harbour. Yuna and Nes try for some small talk, but Kimahri resolutely stares out of the window, lost in his own thoughts, even though Yuna touches him a few times to get his attention and to include him into their conversation.
I really hope that the trip will give the big guy some opportunity to unwind, away from his toxic family.
Chappu is just unloading Wakka's and Lulu's things from his glider when we arrive. Cid is already there and seems to lecture Rikku about something or other. Whatever it is, it warrants a great deal of shouting, arm flailing and foot stomping. If I ever wondered where Rikku got her temperament all questions are answered now.
Tidus and Auron are also already there, both watching father and daughter with interest.
As I promised Nes earlier, I cannot help the tears spilling over when it's finally time to say goodbye, even though I try very hard. All too soon they have boarded the ship and it has weighed anchor. As much as I want to stand at the dock and wave until the ship is out of sight, I will not embarrass Nes like that. So I wipe away my tears and turn to the two men.
"Any of you feel like having coffee together or something?" I hopefully look at Auron, but I am to be disappointed.
"I am expected at the office," he declares and is off.
"Curious guy," Cid comments. "Well, Lady, I haven't had breakfast yet, so if you don't mind my company…"
I force a smile and we go to find out if any of the shops around the dock are already open. We find a small café and share a hearty second breakfast. Rikku's father is actually quite fun to be around, and I am very surprised when I finally realise the time.
We say our goodbyes and I enter my glider with a genuine smile on my face.
A week goes by during which I am supremely distracted. I have no idea what to do about a certain taciturn warrior, other than that I want to do something, anything. I also honestly worry about Nes and the rest of the kids.
Auron is right, they are as prepared as they'll ever be, and I'm sure they are doing great, considering that they probably just got off the ship a day or two ago. Still, it's the first time Nes and I are parted for more than a week. The flat feels empty without him, and I catch myself more than once before I can turn around and start talking to him.
Honestly, the boy is on a holiday trip, he's not dead! At least I hope so.
In an effort to get a grip on myself, I allow myself one night of weakness, which I spend in Nes's room, sleeping in his bed. In the morning I tell myself to be grown-up about this whole thing. Nes is old enough to live his own life, for the Fayth's sake!
Determined, I make my way to my store. My determination lasts about one hour, until Auron is suddenly before me. It begins innocently enough, I am in the back and Mindy, one of my team, comes in and tells me that there is a gentleman who asks to speak to me specifically. This is not unusual in itself, but only happens very rarely. I enter the store through the red velvet curtain behind the counter, and the sight of the legendary guardian in the middle of my store, surrounded by all the wine and spirits, is so surreal, I cannot think of anything to say.
"Hello," Auron says. Spurred by his single word, my brain goes into overdrive. Has something happened to the kids? Has he heard from Tidus? Are they okay?
"Hi," I manage, at length.
"I came to apologise," Auron continues.
I blink at him, rather stupidly I must admit. "Oh?"
"Yes. I realise I have been quite rude the last time we met. The last two times, actually."
"Oh!"
"Maybe I can make it up to you. We could go to the sphere dome, and have dinner afterwards."
Honestly, I am completely floored. Nothing about the kids, then, but is Auron really asking me out on a date? Frantically, I search for my voice.
"Sure," I answer him, and finally I am able to smile. "Just tell me when!"
"Day after tomorrow? I will pick you up at seven."
"Sure," I say again. Very eloquent, Eanna, very eloquent.
"Then it is set." Auron says, and turns to leave. At the door, he pauses and turns back. "See you soon." He smiles at me, a real, soft, genuine smile. I melt on the spot.
"I'm looking forward to it," I tell him, and it's true.
The door chimes as it closes behind Auron. What in the Fayth's name was that about? I am at the same time deliriously happy and completely dumb folded. Yes, this might just have been the invitation to a date, and as much as I might wish for it, it might also just have been what he said – an apology from one friend to another. I am thoroughly confused. And happy. Happily confused, I think. Argh!
"What was that about?" Mindy asks.
"I have no idea," I turn around to her and shrug.
"Well," she comments, "the face sure takes some getting used to, but have you seen his chest?" Mindy's clearly impressed. I refrain from telling her that I have already seen much more than his chest. And that I'm equally impressed.
True to his word, Auron knocks at my door two days later, at seven o'clock sharp. Sometimes, I envy his discipline. Well, I mentally shrug when I run to open the door, I am dressed and my hair is as neat as it will get, all I lack is shoes and my handbag.
"Hello," I greet him, pulling the door wide open.
"Good evening," he answers, and smirks a little when he notices my stockinged feet, sans footwear.
"Come in," I tell him and run off. "I just need some shoes, obviously, then I'm ready."
Auron does as he is bid, and closes the door behind him.
When I return, properly shod and purse at the ready, I find him in the living room, looking out of the french doors. He apparently hears me, as he turns around.
"Ready?" he asks with his eyebrow raised.
"Ready," I confirm, grinning.
"Let us go."
We leave the glider in a parking space near the city centre and walk the short distance to the sphere dome.
"So what is on tonight?" I ask him, when we are almost there.
"A documentary on Bevelle," he answers. "I thought you might like to see it, as you have never been. We can do something else if you would rather not…" He lets the end of the sentence hang in the air.
"No, I like the idea," I am quick to reassure him. "You are from Bevelle, right?"
Auron nods, and we join the queue at the entrance. Fortunately, it's not very long. "I grew up there. I was placed with the warrior monks at a very young age," he adds, after some hesitation. "I cannot remember ever not being with them."
"Was your family killed in the War?" I ask, quietly.
Auron does not answer right away, as he gets our tickets.
"I do not know," he finally says, when we are inside and looking for our seats. "One morning, the monks found me at the entrance to the temple, a small, miserable runt wrapped in a blanket."
"I'm sorry," I say, as I don't know what else to say, but Auron shrugs it off.
"That was a long time ago. The monks took good care of me."
We find our places and sit. Not a minute afterwards, the dome darkens and the big sphere screen at the front comes to life.
The documentary is rather full of pathos, and I hear Auron huff once or twice. In the darkness it's impossible to make out his face, so I cannot tell if he's moved by what he sees of his former home.
I quite like the film, Bevelle is fascinating. The temple-turned-palace, the walkways in the air, it's simply breath taking. When it's finished, I wonder if Nes has any interest in architecture. It just never came up.
Auron and I silently exit the sphere dome and he leads me to a small restaurant nearby. It's cosy, with a warm, welcoming atmosphere. The tables are set in tiny nooks around the perimeter of the main room, in the middle is a small basin with colourful, living fish.
"A good choice," I tell him, when we sit down.
"You have been here before?"
I hum in agreement. "It's been a while, though."
We order our food and Auron asks me to choose the wine, which I do, laughing.
"So how did you like the documentary? Got homesick?" I ask, when the waiter has left our table.
Auron harrumphs. "I had almost forgotten how beautiful Bevelle is. But homesickness? No," he shrugs, "my home is here, not in Bevelle."
We talk about the sights of Bevelle for a while, and about what we think the kids might be doing right now when the wine gets served. Finally, the food arrives as well.
"I honestly can't wait till the kids are back and tell us about their travels. I am dying to know what's happening and what they think about the people and things they encounter! It really took supreme self-control not to give Nes a com sphere and make him report to me every night!" I laugh, but I really felt like doing just that when the day of their departure drew near.
Auron quietly laughs with me. "No doubt Nes is rather glad you did no such thing."
"You miss Tidus, too! Just own up to it!" I cry, grinning.
Auron rises his hand in defeat. "I miss him more than I thought I would." He takes a sip of his wine. "I like this wine. It is good."
I grin widely at him. "It ought to be. After all, I sold it to them!"
Auron snorts and shakes his head with a smile.
After the meal, we exit the restaurant and stand in front of it for a while, not quite sure what to do.
"Do you want to go home now?" Auron asks quietly.
I shake my head. "No, not yet. Why don't we walk down to the embankment?"
Auron nods and offers me his arm. I sling my arm through his so that my hand rests on his forearm, and we walk quietly for a while. Dusk has come over Zanarkand while we were at the sphere dome, and now the sky is completely dark. The city itself, however, is never dark, just as it never sleeps. A million lights illuminate the city, the embankment, the ocean beneath us. They are so bright that the stars above are invisible. Out here, the cacophony of the city fades into the background so that we can hear the water lapping against concrete in gentle waves. It's as quiet as it ever gets in Zanarkand.
After about a ten minutes' walk we encounter an ice cream seller with his machina cooling cart.
"Care for some ice cream?" I ask Auron, and skip over to the seller. Auron follows, but more sedately.
Ice cream cones in hand we find a bench to sit on which overlooks the bay. I refuse to sit properly and climb onto the bench, sitting on the backrest with my feet on the seat. Auron demonstratively rolls his eye in the face of my childishness, but joins me on the backrest.
"The children," he begins when we are about halfway through our ice cream, "are following the ancient route of the summoners."
"Really?" I ask him. "I hadn't noticed."
Auron nods. "Traditionally, those who wanted to become a summoner in Spira would train at their local temple and pray to the Fayth there in order to receive its Aeon, thus becoming a fully-fledged summoner. After that, they would travel to the temple of Besaid, and make their way north to Bevelle, and if they dared, to Zanarkand."
"Where they would join the war effort," I conclude, when Auron falls silent.
"Where they would sacrifice themselves in order to bring victory to Yevon, and peace to Spira," he adds, with an undercurrent in his voice I cannot quite make out.
"You seem worried about the kids following that route." It's more a statement than a question.
"Braska was a powerful summoner, and Yuna certainly has inherited his talent. I have no idea what became of the summoner cult after the War." Auron shrugs. "The summoners were revered, celebrated as heroes, even. It might be the same still, or they might now be a vestige of times best forgotten."
"Do you think Yuna might try to become a summoner?" In Zanarkand, summoners were more a necessary evil than somebody to look up to. People died, and the dead needed sending, even in a machina city like Zanarkand, and to perform the sending was a summoner's job. But even back in the War when the summoners and their Aeons had occasionally made a difference, their standing had been doubtful at best.
"If she tries, she will succeed," Auron declares with confidence. "Even if she does not look like it, she has Braska's strength."
This does not seem to warrant an answer. Whatever Yuna decides to do is out of our control anyway. I finish the last of my ice cream and let my gaze wander over the bay. Auron moves slightly next to me, and even though he doesn't touch me, I'm suddenly super aware of his presence. I can almost feel the heat of his body and closing my eyes, I can detect his masculine scent. Leather and sandalwood, though I have no idea how he manages the leather part. He doesn't wear any leather except for maybe his shoes. I glance down at them. Combat boots, as usual. I smile, and wonder if even Tidus, who lived with him for over a decade, has ever seen him in anything but red and black. Does Auron take off his boots at home? Somehow, I cannot imagine the great warrior in slippers. I shake my head to chase these thoughts away before they get any more out of hand.
Auron catches the gesture and raises a questioning eyebrow, but I smile and shake my head again, only slower.
I take a deep breath and decide to ask the question that's been on my mind since he has left my store after apologising to me two days ago.
"Auron," he turns at my serious tone of voice, "what exactly are we doing right now?"
He searches my face for a while, then turns to look over the bay. I watch him, but try as I might I cannot detect any emotion on his face. Finally, he speaks.
"What would you want us to do?"
Okay, so we are playing the answer-questions-with-questions game. But I'm not in the mood for games. This is far too important to me, he is far too important to me.
"Is this a date?" Fine, so I answer his question with one of my own. Whatever.
Auron turns back to me, and for a moment I am distracted by the view on his face I am thus afforded. His bold forehead, straight nose and luxurious lips. The prominent scar sealing his right eye shut, and his good eye, its colour the unusual leaden grey I have never seen in another person's eyes. He parts his soft lips and a little air escapes, not quite a sigh.
"If you want it to be a date."
My eyes snap back to his. He holds my gaze, but I cannot stand the tension, so I turn away to look out at the bay. A second later, I drop my gaze to my lap. Seriously, I am almost 86 years old, and here I am, as nervous as any teenager.
I am sitting on his left, so I can't very well take his hand in mine, even though I really would like to do so. I settle for his leg, instead. I feel him stiffen at my touch, and his face is drawn when I finally find the courage to look at him again.
"I would like that very much," I whisper.
All the tension suddenly leaves Auron's body, and he lowers his head. Very timidly, he puts a hand on mine where it rests on his thigh.
Lowering my head I try and look at his face. The softest smile plays around the corner of his lips. The sight of it fills me with happiness beyond words. I sigh and lean my head against his shoulder.
"Is this uncomfortable for you?" I ask, when he fidgets a little.
"No," he answers, "but it feels very strange."
I make to move away, but he grabs my hand a little tighter. "Please stay."
"I don't want to make you uncomfortable."
"You are not." He takes a deep breath, and I can feel him steeling himself for his next words. "I feel your weight leaning on my body, but I do not feel you touching me. It's a… peculiar sensation."
"So you don't feel this?" I ask and draw soft circles on his upper arm.
"No," he answers. I try to gauge his feelings from his voice, but it gives nothing away.
"Thanks," I say and finally stop my drawing.
"What for?"
"For honestly answering my questions."
"Eanna… this is all very new to me. There is a lot I have to learn. But I know one thing: If I want this to work, I have to be upfront with you." I feel him move again, and guess he shrugged.
"I have had ample time to come to terms with my situation. I rather like the equilibrium I have established for myself. You need to know if this is supposed to work."
"You put a lot of thought into this."
"I did. It is important."
I nod. "Yes, it is. Auron," I raise my head and turn, so that I can look him in the eye. "I want you to always tell me what you need, what you do and what you don't do. I, too, want this to work but my assumptions won't always be correct. In fact, they might by quite far off the mark. I'm sorry."
"Michael?"
The ghost of a sad smile travels over my face. "Yes, Michael."
Auron nods.
Our moment is broken when a rather inebriated group of young men chooses to wander past our bench, hollering and shouting something about love birds and getting a room.
I giggle, and even Auron grins. It was only there for half a second, but it was definitely a grin. Oh, how I love this man!
By unspoken consent, we get up from our resting place and Auron offers me his arm again. We make our way back to his glider in companionable silence. I am a rather talkative person, and I like having conversations at all times, but I find that I like being silent with Auron quite well, too. I briefly wonder how long it will be until his taciturn nature will start to seriously grind on my nerves, but this is not a thought worthy of this perfect evening. I decide to take a deep breath and enjoy the moment.
Back at my place, Auron gets out of the car and escorts me to the door. We stand there silently for a few awkward moments.
"Do you want to come in?" I finally ask.
Auron throws me half a smile, but shakes his head. "No, I think I would rather not."
"Okay," I breathe. A small part of me is disappointed, but mostly I'm relieved. It's too soon. "Thank you for the evening. It's been perfect."
"I have to thank you." He's very formal all of a sudden.
"Well then, goodnight."
"Goodnight."
I watch Auron climb into his car and drive away before I open the door and enter my home. Once inside, I can't hold on to all those emotions any longer, and let a giggle escape. I dance a childish little happy dance through the living room, up the stairs and into the bathroom, where I shimmy out of my clothes. A slightly dishevelled face with a rather stupid grin looks back at me from the mirror over the sink. I throw it a kiss and dance off into the direction of my bedroom. The silly grin stays firmly in place until I finally fall asleep.