"No."

Chichi frowned as he looked directly at Piccolo, mimicking him in folding her arms over her chest and glowering at the tall green fighter. "No?"

"No."

"…that's all you have to say?"

Piccolo let out a snort of annoyance. "I'm not your husband, I don't have to give my reasons to you."

"In other words you don't have a reason," she retorted. Piccolo narrowed his eyes but Chichi held firm. Maybe a year or so ago she would have backed down, thanks to settling into the life of a wife and mother. It had made her less anxious to fight and feud and as such she most likely wouldn't have even tried to ask Piccolo for his help, let alone pressed him on the issue.

'But you aren't that woman anymore,' she thought to herself as she stood in the clearing that Piccolo had staked out at his own. 'I'd say you are back to being the woman you were during the last World Martial Arts Tournament… but even that isn't true.' She mentally smirked. 'You're better.'

After Kayos had put it into her head to find out what Goku wanted… well, things had changed. Goku was far more interested in her now and not merely because she would go on runs with him. No… Goku liked watching her train. Liked seeing her try each day to punch a little harder, kick a little higher. Because she could talk to him about different training regiments he was more open to talking to her. She'd tried to get him interested in other hobbies but he'd always moaned like a child… now however, because she was sharing in his interests he tried to share hers. It often didn't work but they had found a few common interests. Goku wasn't a fan of reading but he actually LOVED being read to. When they retired for the evening she often found herself with Goku nuzzling against her, a smile on his face as she read from one of her favorite novels.

"Your voice is just so soothing," he'd told her one time when she'd asked him why he seemed to become so relaxed when she read to him. "Makes me feel like nothing in the world could ever give us a problem."

And then there were the more… carnal benefits.

Chichi hadn't really realized how soft she had been getting over the last few years until she'd tried on some of her old fighting clothes and discovered how snug they were. She'd set a goal to fit into them and when she'd met that challenge she'd decided to push further. Strengthen her arms and legs, get her tummy as hard as she could. She liked how it made her feel… and Goku VERY much liked how she looked now.

'We've made love more times in the last 2 months than we did in the last 2 years!'

All of that had boosted her confidence. She no longer felt like she was an old woman that just hadn't gotten wrinkles yet. Now she felt young again… vitality thrumming through her. She might not like the idea of fighting because of the risks… but she understood WHY they had to fight and after they dealt with Raditz she didn't plan to stop training. Even if she never did more than spar… she appreciated all that the training had done for her.

Which was why as she stood there in her modified take on Goku's Gi, hands folded just under her breasts and steel in her gaze, she didn't waiver for a second in staring Piccolo down.

"We need your help to make sure we are resupplied," Chichi stated.

"Why me?" Piccolo demanded. "I'm not the only one on this island."

"True," she admitted. "But I can't take Goku. Do you realize how risky it is to take him shopping?"

~One Year Earlier~

"I thought since those samples had toothpicks in them anything with a toothpick was a sample!" Goku said, holding up the massive glazed ham he'd stabbed a toothpick in. Chichi groaned, seeing their budget go down the drain, even as Goku began to bite into said ham.

~MC~MC~MC~

"Well, I'll give you that," Piccolo admitted. "But what about the others?"

"Tien and Chiaotzu went off to get more texts about Tien's people. According to the scroll he might be able to find more about the triclops at some library in the East. Krillin isn't back yet from training, Bulma is locked in her lab, Roshi…"

~MC~MC~MC~

"HOW ARE WE OUT OF KLEENEX AGAIN!?" Bulma screamed, looking at the empty boxes littered outside of Roshi's room.

~MC~MC~MC~

"…is busy. And Kayos is coming but…" she paused.

"What about him?"

"Kayos is a friend," Chichi said softly, "but if something were to happen… I trust you to get Gohan to safety. Only you are strong enough to get him out of any danger."

Piccolo blinked at that.

"…fine," he huffed. "But we do this as quick as we can. I'm not interested in window shopping." He shut his eyes in annoyance. "Going to cost me a lot of meditation time…"

Chichi quickly bowed before moving to leave, knowing that she had won a victory but it wouldn't be wise to press her luck. "Thank you, Piccolo! We'll be leaving tomorrow just after morning warm ups! I want to be done by lunch!"

"Hhmmmpf," was Piccolo's only response.

~MC ~MC~MC~

"What a pathetic little planet this is," Vegeta declared as he and Nappa landed on the dusty orange planet. While they could survive quite a long time in their pods, a whole year in fact, without having to do much that didn't mean that the two Saiyans didn't enjoy stretching their legs or finding something to eat. Battle Meditation could only get one so far, after all. "What is it called again?"

Nappa, without missing a beat, declared, "Arlia. Home to an insectoid species known as the Arlians." He paused, debating if he wished to say more. Sometimes Vegeta wanted as much information as he could get… and other times he wasn't interested at all. His father had been the same way…

The bald Saiyan's heart ached just a bit at that, as it always did when he remembered the Saiyan that had done so much for him.

'I wouldn't even be here if it weren't for the King's kindness,' Nappa thought to himself before saying aloud, "The Arlians have been considered for some time to be a planet Frieza may be interested in claiming."

"You mean its being watched," Vegeta said darkly, slowly turning towards Nappa, eyes narrowed.

"Not watched!" Nappa said quickly, looking to pacify the younger man's temper. "Just considered, that is all! On the cusp of monitoring. A C-Listed planet."

Vegeta waited for several long moments, Nappa tense and ready for the blow that might come… and then nodded. "Very well then. So long as it isn't a B-Listed planet."

"It isn't!" Nappa was quick to say. "I checked the records while we were flying down here… the next review isn't for another 18 months. Frieza has other things right now that he is working on… the Space Patrol has begun creeping back towards the edges of the Empire and there is talk that King Zeno is done with his play date-"

"I don't care about any of that, Nappa," Vegeta said gruffly. "There will be enough time to consider politics when I rule the Empire. For now let's see if these Arlians have any decent food." With that he lifted off into the air before rocketing off, Nappa quickly following him.

As he did so he found himself not looking at their surroundings or considering what they'd have to do next in order to defeat Frieza and finally remove themselves from under his thumb. No… his mind drifted back to King Vegeta and his own past and how both had led him to where he was now.

Nappa had a reputation of being a dumb brute. More than one person had proclaimed he was just a walking fist; that he was bald because his head was just a thumb and the rest of his body clenched fingers going in for a pounding. And he had no problem with people thinking that because there was, honestly, some truth to that. He wasn't the smartest warrior in Frieza's army… he did his research, same as anyone else, though he tended to only gleam the basic facts. Arlia, for example… he had no idea their fighting styles or their weaponry or anything like that. He'd just grabbed the bare bones because that was good enough for him. A planet that was being observed from time to time but wasn't heavily monitored. Insectoid populace. Nothing else.

They didn't need anything else.

So because of things like that, of him only getting a small bit of information before rushing out, everyone thought he was a complete idiot. And he'd chuckle when they called him that… right before he pounded their skulls into their torsos so they learned NEVER to insult a Saiyan. But he did wonder sometimes what the younger Frieza Force members would have thought if they could have seen him in his youth and prime. Because that was when he had truly earned the reputation of dumb brute.

'An idiot, that's what I was,' Nappa thought t himself as they flew on. 'One that nearly got himself killed.'

People thought he had come to work for King Vegeta because he had tried to usurp him. That was how many other members of his inner circle had come under the power of the King. They tried to prove themselves his better, they failed, and they swore on their honor to submit and obey. Nappa let people believe that. It was more honorable.

It was a lie.

He and the rest of his squad had been hungry and smelled food, deciding to go grab it and fill their bellies after a rather long mission purging a planet. They'd expected a few pieces of meat, maybe a stew or some noodle dishes, but instead had found a feast. Their mouths had watered and at once the idea of grabbing a bit and flying off had left their minds. Nappa himself had declared that they would just claim the entire banquet for themselves, screw anyone that complained!

And complain they did. Loudly. This wasn't for them. And certainly not ALL of it. Maybe a bit if they showed respect-

Nappa himself had driven his fist through the stomach of the low class bitch who had decided to scold him. He'd enjoyed that… though her spitting up blood on his arm had been annoying as he had just scrubbed most of the filth off of him. His hunger had finally won out and he'd tossed the bitch aside and sat down to begin tearing into the meat, savoring its flavors and being delighted that the dead woman had been able to really bring out the textures of the food.

As it had turned out that was her entire job. She had been a cook…

King Vegeta's favorite cook.

The rage of the King… it still haunted Nappa even decades later. He had landed with the speed of an asteroid but his feet hadn't even kicked up any dust, he had that much control even in his furious state. He had looked at them all, cold eyes lingering upon each of them, and as he had done so the food had suddenly tasted like ashes on Nappa's tongue. And when he'd spotted the cook and how her blood was still on Nappa's armor…

The hour that followed had been a beautiful lesson in how to tear apart a life.

Every strike had been utterly precise. Not a drop of ki wasted. He knew just how hard to strike, when to lash out, and when was the right moment to do so. He had moved about so quickly yet it had also been in slow motion, so that every single second of that utter beatdown had been etched into Nappa's brain. He had thought himself a good fighter back then but King Vegeta had shown he was a worm wiggling in the dirt when compared to a true master. The blows had been furious but there had been a logic behind each and every one of them. They all flowed, one action leading to the next. One moment he was to Nappa's right, brutally taking the leg off of Romin, causing the overweight Saiyan to scream even as the heat of the blow cauterized the wound and made sure not a drop of blood left his body or the limb. He used that momentum to send himself hurtling across the battlefield, landing in front of Nio and ripping his head clean off his shoulders before he'd flung the skull right at Nappa, cracking his jaw and sending him to the ground. And that had allowed King Vegeta to get around him and go back to Romin, pounding into him with a flurry of punches.

One hour. A lesson in true power.

And when Nappa had foolishly tried to attack the King, believing for one brain addled moment that he could defeat him and make him submit… the King had put him down so hard that Nappa's next memory was waking up in a healing pod.

With his King staring at him with cold eyes.

"You cost me a cook," he had declared. "And then you dared attack me. To try and force me to submit. You are beaten. And since I doubt one of your intelligence knows how to do more than throw meat on the fire… you are going to do EVERYTHING I say." He had then broken the pod open and Nappa, so weak he couldn't even stand, had fallen onto the floor at King Vegeta's feet. And the man had stared at him… before holding out his hand. "Take it."

And he had.

Every order. Every command. Once Nappa had been healed up he had made it his life's work to obey his King. It went beyond Saiyan honor. Yes, he had tried to attack the king and after being put in his place and submitting King Vegeta had offered him a hand up. As he should. But… it was more than that for him. The King… he had shown him how to be better. A better fighter. A better commander. Nappa knew he would never be a tenth of what the man was but if he could be close to a tenth…

It was why he honored his word even now, acting on his liege's final command: protect my son.

'I have been by his side since that command was given… and I will remain at his side until I draw my last breath. I can not replace King Vegeta as a father… but I can be a mentor, a teacher, and a friend to his son.'

With that thought Nappa moved to fly side by side with his Prince.

~MC~MC~MC~

"At least we don't have to carry everything," I commented as I watched Chichi talk with the grocer. Due to just how much food we needed to have, thanks to having two Saiyans on the island, there was simply no way we were going to be transporting everything we needed to get ourselves. No… shopping with Chichi was different than what I was used to.

It was rather like how I thought shopping for a restaurant would be like. Which we were kind of running only is was a private one for only a small group of regulars. Chichi would go to a different grocer and look over their meat, their fish, their vegetables, their fruits, and give her opinion of what she was willing to spend. Even though we were using Bulma's money she still would barter, trying to get the best deal. When we'd been looking over bags of flour she had complained about the texture and the color even though, to me, it looked like flour, and gotten the man to lower his price. With the fish she had carefully inspected the catch as well as what was already frozen to determine if it was better to take the older stuff that was already on ice or the fresh stuff that would cost extra to be packaged but would be done so to her desires. The fruits were handled like she was examining diamonds and she'd sampled a few carrots and celery stalks before deciding they met her standards.

The entire time Piccolo and I stood off to the side, keeping Gohan entertained.

"I still don't see why we needed to be here for all this," Piccolo muttered.

"Well, I'm supposed to be getting in some Evil Magic work," I stated, looking over at cart where a baby was eating a sucker. With a casual flick of my wrist I ripped the candy from him, the babe blinking before beginning to sniff and whine. Which is when Isco floated over and gave him an even BIGGER lollipop to enjoy.

One might argue that was cheating. But the Evil of the act apparently counted, according to the detection spells I was running on myself that monitored my increase in Evil magic.

Tossing the candy in the trash (which was wasting food… soooooo evil…) I glanced at Piccolo. "Besides, there is something I've learned about this group which perfectly explains why you needed to come."

"That you can't do anything without holding each other's hands?" he asked gruffly.

"Look who's talking," I said, glancing down. Piccolo followed my gaze to find that at some point Gohan had walked up to him and taking his hand, holding onto it as he merely stood there, watching his mother shop. Piccolo went ramrod still, eyes wide and lips pulled back into a grimace of shock, before he just as quickly resettled into calm aloofness. "And no," I said, deciding not to tease him any farther as while Piccolo was mellowing out I could sense he wasn't quite at that stage yet were he could handle playful ribbing. "What I was going to say is I've noticed that none of these people can take two feet out into the real world without getting into trouble. And while Chichi is getting stronger and I have some tricks now… you are still are Ace in the Hole."

"Your… what?"

"Ace in the Hole."

"What is that?"

"It's a metaphor."

"For what?"

"For… for being really important."

"Then why don't you just say I am very important?"

"I don't know its just something people say!" I complained.

"I've never heard anyone say anything like that," Piccolo said before looking down at Gohan. "Have you ever heard of this 'Ace in the Hole' thing?"

"No, Mr. Piccolo," Gohan said, shaking his head.

"Well, that proves that," Piccolo stated.

"It's just an expression," I said, growing exasperated.

"I thought you said it was a metaphor," Piccolo stated, as if he had just caught me in the world's biggest lie.

"Seriously?!" I complained. "A metaphor and an expression can be the same thing!"

"Is that true Gohan?"

I cut the little boy off before he could say anything. "Nevermind! My point is that you are our best bet if something happens to us! Which it will because the Z Fighters are magnets for trouble."

"Well," Chichi said, walking over to us, "it's a good thing then that I'm not a Z Fighter, nor are the rest of you," Chichi said. "So we'll be fine."

"…you… invited… him…" I ground out.

"Oh, one can never be too careful, Kayos. After all, my house has never been robbed but I still lock the doors at night…hmmm." She tapped her chin with her finger. "I should really call up my father, make sure he's doing okay."

"Can't you do that back at the island?" Piccolo asked, clearly not looking forward to any distractions that might delay us from getting back to training.

We followed Chichi out of the grocery store, Gohan still holding onto Piccolo's hand, having to take 3 steps for his one but still hustling to make sure he kept up with the green man. "I'd rather do it now… the reception isn't the greatest on the island-" something that made my Spidey-Sense tingle because Bulma should have the best… I smelled plot contrivance, "-and I do want to make sure I can look him in the eye when we talk… if its just his voice he can lie but he has never been able to avoid telling me the truth if I'm staring him down."

We made our way to a bank of public video phones and Chichi dialed in the number, a few moments later the Ox King answered. "Chichi!" he said happily. "How are you?"

"I'm well, daddy," she said, taking Gohan from Piccolo and lifting him up so he was visible. "We just wanted to check in on you… are things going well there?"

"OH, very much so! Some of the new methods I've been working on to increase radish growth have been working quite well! Why-"

As they talked Isco floated over to me. "Sir. I have a concern."

"If its about the phone I do think you should have one built into you… but we keep it from the others. Don't want them tying you up."

"Yes, because I don't need to interact with your fleshy bags of bile and pus any more than I need to. However that isn't my concern. You see… while we were in the grocer I began reviewing the footage of our trip here, to see if there was anything of use for the documentary-" And I wondered how long we'd have to keep that up before I could just say fuck it, we're Z Fighters now, "-and I noticed that we are being followed."

"What?" I asked, Piccolo shifting closer to us upon hearing that.

"Indeed. The same gentleman keeps snooping about. Dark hair, long face, black suit and sunglasses. Has a small cassette recorder that he speaks into from time to time though I am unable to gather what he is saying."

I frowned. That… didn't match the description of anyone I knew of from the canon events. I looked at Piccolo but he seemed just as confused as me.

"Okay, so we'll just need to monitor the situation and make sure that he isn't causing any problems," I said. "He might just be lusting after Chichi or curious about you Piccolo. Now that we know he's around we can counter him."

"Well, I see you need to go, sweetie," the Ox King declared. "I'm getting a message that the phone call needs to end because you are being taken prisoner…" He tilted his head at that. "Wait, that doesn't sound right."

Before any of us could react the video phone booth suddenly slammed its doors on Chichi and Gohan, the two crying out as they dropped like a rock into the ground, a steel barrier slamming in place where it had been.

"You were saying sir?" Isco said.

"God damn it I'm glad I finally mastered levitating!" I shouted even as Piccolo thrust out his hands and easily blasted through the metal. "Come on!" I called out as I focused, activating the spell that allowed me to rise in the air; it had only been a few days since I'd gotten enough power in order to achieve flight but it was still a fucking rush. "Let's see where they are going!"

"Right," Piccolo said and the three of us rocketed down into the hole.

~MC~MC~MC~

"So," Master Roshi said with a sniff, running his finger under his nose, "what exactly is it yar workin' on, Bulma? This is the first time I've seen ya outside your lab in ages!"

Bulma grimaced at that. She knew she had been a bit… anti-social… in the last few months. She tried to come up and see the others whenever she could but her mind was just buzzing with all sorts of ideas, now that she'd decided she didn't want to merely help outfit the others with new body armor and the like but that she wanted to HELP.

It wasn't all inventing, of course. She had been studying Isco's recordings, watching Goku and the others train and figuring out how she could counter their attacks. She only had a little bit of footage focused on Raditz but the other Z Fighters were slowly growing in strength, moving to be as powerful as him, and that meant that they would be a good source of info on just what she needed to deal with. How to survive a full force punch. How to counter Ki blasts. Their own strengths and weaknesses that Bulma could exploit.

While her trip to the swimming pool to cool down and actually do something other than lean over a work table while wiring up some new tech wasn't the first time that she'd been out of her lab recently… it was the first time in nearly a week that she'd run into anyone else.

"I mean, been a while since we've seen ya!" Rohsi declared, for once NOT leering at her as she paddled up to the edge of the pool. Bulma wondered if giving him that little tablet might have been the smartest move they'd ever done. If it kept Roshi's perverted ways in check then it was certainly money well spent!

"Sorry about that," she said, looking at the old man who was currently reclining on a pool chair, a flowering tropical drink nearby. "I've been keeping weird hours recently. This is the first time I've gone for a swim while the sun is up."

"Moonlight swimmin'. Eh, nothing wrong with that. But we do miss ya, Bulma."

"I know," she said sadly, feeling horrible for avoiding the others. "And I miss you all too. Its just really important that I get all of this work takin' care of."

"And what work is that?" Roshi pressed again.

Bulma poked at the inside of her cheek. "Well, I am working on new training equipment for all of you. Its like your weighted gear but… okay, so you know about the gravity chamber Kayos suggested?"

"It's a brilliant idea!" Roshi proclaimed. They had been discussing just what Yamcha might be going through, the kind of training, when Kayos had mentioned that it was possible that Otherworld might have different gravity and thus allow Yamcha to train as if he were always wearing weighted clothing. That had led to an entire discussion about the benefits that increased gravity could have (similar to but also different from the underwater training Piccolo, Goku, Tien, and Chiaotzu were undergoing) and eventually Bulma had hit upon the idea for a gravity chamber, a place that was able to replicate increased or decreased gravity.

"Well, that got me thinking about using the reverse of that tech to create super lightweight clothing that still had a heavy density… so it would be like wearing armor but it would move and weigh the same as that shirt you are wearing."

"Well… that would be a grand benefit!" Roshi proclaimed, growing excited. "Not only in terms of a fight… but also being able to be stylish!"

Bulma rolled her eyes at that. "I've seen your definition of 'style', Roshi."

"Hmmmpf," he huffed, "you young kids wouldn't know style if it bit ya on the butt!"

Bulma merely smirked though inside she was feeling bad. She did want to tell him what else she was working on… the gear for herself that would allow her to help Goku and their friends in a fight… but she knew what they would say. Bulma wasn't a fighter and shouldn't be getting into fights. It was too dangerous. Too risky.

But… it was dangerous for them too…

Bulma frowned when she heard something crack just beyond the pool, where the tile met the jungle. Swimming away from Roshi she made her way to the opposite side of the pool area, frowning as she peered through the leafy green barrier…

…and let out a screen as she saw glowing eyes suddenly race towards her.

~MC~MC~MC~

"So… this is a deep tunnel," I said as Piccolo and I continued to fly down the long shaft. It had been a vertical drop for about a minute before it had suddenly shifted 90 degrees, sending us on a straight shot racing down the rather large path. We occasionally saw different large circular doors, all closed and sealed with magnetic locks, but otherwise it was a straight shot.

Piccolo and I were able to flying beside each other, with him in his classic arms folded/head forward position while I was just standing up, looking like I was riding a people mover at an airport. I had figured out that thanks to my magic I didn't have to worry about being aerodynamic as I wasn't actually 'flying'. Rather I was shifting my form… a slower teleportation, honestly, one that was visible to the naked eye. So I could stand, sit, do sit ups and it would be exactly the same. A thin barrier of magic protected me from any projectiles, just like a Ki aura, and my magic sent me hurtling along.

I frowned, looking about even as I 'walked' around Piccolo. "Whoever did this either has money or knew about this."

"Neither of which bold well for what we might fight," Piccolo said.

"Yes and no," I said with a shrug."Money might mean that they are able to hire goons to take us out but that also means that they themselves don't know how to fight."

"So?"

"Kill'em and the goons have no reason to keep fighting."

Piccolo raised an eyebrow (or rather what would be an eyebrow for him) at that. "After all these months I'd forgotten how dishonorable you could be." And then he flashed me a sinister little smile. "I like it."

"I can't bench press a house like Goku… I need my own ways to win and being underhanded is my best bet."

Isco chose that moment to chime in. "Sir? I am detecting a large increase in electrical currents around us. All flowing in the direction we are going. Something is sucking up quite a bit of energy, as far as I can tell."

"Hmmm," I said, not quite sure what to think about that. "Would it be easy for us to attack the power cables? Cut them off?" Piccolo and I slowed so Isco could scan the wall.

"…negative, sir," he finally said. "I am afraid there are too many of them and buried far too deep. We would alert whoever is using them before we could cut them all."

"It was a good idea," Piccolo said as he took off again, Isco and I flying after him. "But now we need to focus on the fight. If these people know any real fighting moves-"

"Stay out, stay sneaky," I said. "Yeah, even if they are at half your level…"

"That wasn't what I was going to say," Piccolo said when I trailed off. "I would say right now you could beat Krillin or Tien when they first began training. Don't get freaked out if they begin throwing punches or kicks your way… you can fight them."

I blinked at that, surprised.

Piccolo let out a sigh. "In your first fight it's only natural for you to be scared. You suddenly have people trying to hurt you and you begin overthinking things. Worrying about how to defend, how to attack. Don't. You aren't the weakling you were when I first met you. Your magic doesn't give you an edge… it gives you miles on them."

"…thanks," I said.

"Just stating a fact, nothing more."

I managed a nod at that and we flew on in silence.

It took another five minutes for us to see the end of the tunnel and by that point I figured we had to be well out of the city; hell, we'd left the city within the first minute of us shifting to a horizontal flight plane. Now we had to be possibly across the country. Which made it all the more concerning that the Tunnel had been that long and we hadn't managed to find Chichi or Gohan. Whatever the tunnel was and wherever it led to weren't good things, I knew that now.

We burst through the opening and found ourselves in a large underground structure, the ceiling a massive dome that was patched up with steel plates that had been bolted onto the reddish-orange rock like attachments on a cyborg. The walls were filled with different cube-like cells, heavy bars across each one and walkways that allowed one to stroll past each level of the stacked prisons. A massive computer screen like that found at a sports arena hung on one wall and I could see all sorts of different counters and tables filled with different experiments. Bunsen beakers and Petri dishes. Computers running calculations. Microscopes with stacks of slides.

"Mr. Piccolo!" Gohan called out and we twisted to see the boy in a cell, grabbing onto the bars and giving them a shake. "Mr. Kayos."

I narrowed my eyes. "Piccolo?"

"Yeah?"

"Whoever put him in that cage dies… slowly. I want Hell to be utterly ashamed when we give their soul because they know they can't match us."

Piccolo's eyes widened at that before he nodded, turning his focus back on Gohan. "Where is your mother?"

"I'm over here!" Chichi called out from a different cell, having been separated from Gohan.

"Do you know what is going on? Why you are here?" Piccolo asked.

"They are here because of the invaders," a voice called out. "And now… one has walked right into my inner sanctum."

We both turned to look at the new arrival. He had dark hair that had been styled so that it stood up and puffed out a bit and he had on dark sunglasses that hid his eyes. His chin was covered in a 5 o'clock shadow, making his lean sharp features look all the more scruffy. His lean body was clad in a dark suit, a white dress shirt the only part of his clothing that was as dark as moonless night. He slowly walked towards us, Piccolo and I lowering to the ground to meet him on quite literally equal footing, his polished black shoes not making a sound as he marched over to us, tucking his arms behind him.

"Technically we're only intruders because you kidnapped our friends," I said. "Now, if you are willing to give us back Chichi and Gohan we might be willing to head out without any other trouble." I was lying, of course… he'd kidnapped my friends and put Gohan in a cage; he was going to suffer. 'Baba keeps saying I need to build up more Evil deeds to power up my Evil Magic. I think viciously tearing this bastard up might JUST be evil enough for her.'

Piccolo spoke up at that moment. "All we want are those two back. And you have to see that you are greatly outnumbered. We didn't want to intrude here-"

"That isn't the intrusion I am speaking of," the man said, taking another step forward. "I speak of an invasion of earth. An invasion… from the stars."

"…aw shit," I muttered to myself.

"Indeed," the man said with a dark smile.

"If I might interject," Isco said, floating over to him, "would it not be polite to introduce yourself first? Otherwise you are just annoying thin meat bag with puffy hair to me."

I grimaced at Isco's brash tones but surprisingly enough the man merely smirked. "A well thought out point." He gave a crisp bob of his head. "I am Agent Mutton of the GCJ: Global Council of Justice." He said that like he expected us to be impressed by the title. When none of us… I don't know… gasped or let out cries of 'This can't be!' he merely pressed his lips into a fine line and continued on. "It is my task to protect the Earth from threats… and despite my superiors' claims that I have become distracted-" His tone grew bitter at that and I had a feeling he'd been on the receiving end of more than one call demanding he get back to fucking work, "-I have come to see that the greatest threat to the Earth are aliens like you."

He moved to a keyboard that sat on a desk and began typing away at it while I turned to Piccolo and whispered, "So I'm new to the whole 'I have powers and can fight' thing but should we be offended that he's ignoring the threat we pose and is just turning his back to us?"

Piccolo huffed before replying in a soft voice, "We make him pay for that insult later when we surprise him." I nodded at that just as the massive display screen lit up, revealing a picture of the earth that slowly began to rotate.

"I have long sought out the truth concerning the many different disasters and calamities that have befallen the Earth. Its out there… the answers. I just had to dig. But I was able to finally discover it." On the map points of light appeared in different areas, followed by lines that raced up and down and across the map. "The pattern. These events aren't random moments, like how you might find a penny on the sidewalk or a bird might poop on your head or a janitor finally finds the peephole into the women's locker room and covers it up." The lines began to glow… or rather some of them began to glow while other ones remaining dull. "By focusing on the true calamities and not the ones that were created to hide the truth I am able to find the truth and the truth within the truth!"

The lines finished glowing revealing the word ALIENS on the globe.

"Our world has been invaded by beings from the stars and these alien nightmares have caused so much pain and destruction. A perfectly planned attack upon our civilization to prevent us from rising up into a threat that could ruin their reign. Terrorizing our world, causing great upheavels, destroying what should have been glorious eras of advancement!"

Mutton began to pace, becoming far more emotional as he spoke, smacking his hand against his palm as he did so.

"Everything good and wonderful in our world that ended too soon is a result of you aliens! The fall of Rome! The destruction of the Library of Alexandria! The discontinuing of Choco Tacos!" Mutton slammed his fist against the table. "Bastards… you alien bastards destroy… everything! You even just made me break my hand!" He winced, cradling his fist against his chest.

Piccolo, Iso, and I shared a look.

"He's been like this the entire time," Chichi called down to us.

"And worst of all is the half breed." He turned and glared at Gohan. To the boy's credit all his training on the island had finally driven then frightened little boy away and left a far more determined and brave youngster. So when Mutton glowered at him Gohan merely met his gaze with one of his own. If he felt the burning of the dark stares Piccolo, Chichi, and I were standing his way Mutton didn't acknowledge it. "Its bad enough that the alien freaks are arriving on this planet but now breading with our people, creating mixed raced monsters?" He shook his head. "No… no I will not let that stand. "

With that he walked over to a file cabinet and took a key from around his neck, carefully unlocking it before pulling out a large glowing samurai sword and a futuristic (even for the Dragon Ball World) ray gun that he slapped over his broken hand, the entire thing covered by the weapon.

"I have trained all my life for this moment-"

"That seems like a waste of time," I muttered. "Like… were you a baby learning how to fight aliens?"

"-and now you will die, alien scum." Piccolo tensed, falling into a battle ready stance as Mutton turned to stare at him. "Stay behind me, Earthling. I don't know what promises that alien made you but I will protect you all the same!"

Piccolo… slowly blinked as we all realized just what Mutton had said.

"Wait… you think I'm an earthling?" He pointed to himself, just to make sure he was following things properly. Not that I blamed him as I was confused myself.

"I know you're an earthling," Mutton said before glaring at me. "And now that I have this alien male along with that alien female I will ensure that they pay for thinking that they could invade out planet!"

He pointed at me. "And he's the alien?"

"Of course he is!" Mutton declared. "Look at him… with those strange eyes-" I adjusted my glasses, "the fur around its mouth," I tugged at my bread, "and the way it stands there… it is otherworldly." He looked up at Chichi. "Just like that alien there! How she tricked an earth man into mating with something so hideous I'll never know!"

Chichi began to rattle the bars of her cage, snapping insults at the agent for daring to mock her looks.

"Hold up!" I called out. "For my sanity-"

"Aliens don't have sanity… or asthma."

"-okay then. For my curiosity…" When he didn't interrupt me I continued, "…how do you look at Piccolo and assume he's human?"

"How do I not?" Mutton said, gesturing at Piccolo. "The build is all human." I looked at Piccolo and fought the urge to poke at his arms with their strange pink… thingies (I still had no idea what those were).

"Pointed ears?" I asked.

"Surgery," Mutton said simply. "Or a birth defect." He shot me a dark look. "We HUMANS know how not to focus on people's looks."

"No we really don't," I muttered before saying louder, "The green skin?"

"Black, white, gray, green… it doesn't matter to me."

"Little. Green. Men."

"A common term for Russian soldiers. Besides, you think this man is little?" Mutton shook his head before looking at Piccolo. "Can you believe this alien, fellow human?"

"For fuck's sake," I grumbled before turning to Piccolo and asking, "What are you?"

"A Namakian," he said. "A Namekian."

I gestured at Piccolo, staring directly at Mutton with an intense incredulous stare.

"…I do not care what new sexual preference you might be, my fellow human-"

"Fuck this," I snarled and launched myself at Mutton, quickly casting a protection aura spell around myself. Mutton fired on me but the magic that coated my skin like a bodysuit caused the bullets to harmlessly drop to the ground as I ran at him, flicking my right arm out before I slammed it at him, chopping down on his wrist and causing him to drop his gun. "Piccolo, get Gohan and Chichi!"

The Namekian nodded and flew up to free the two, leaving me to battle Mutton.

"You know, even if I was an alien, which I'm fucking not you delusional little asshat, I haven't done anything wrong. Blame the aliens that actually cause problems, yes, but the ones that just want to fucking live here in peace? Leave them alone! White Knuckle!" I charged Good Magic into my fist and clocked Agent Mutton hard in the gut, making him double over in pain. Before he could respond I grabbed his head, fingers latching onto his ears, and drove my knee into his face. There was a solid crack and when I let go the man fell limp to the ground. "Okay, either he is depressingly weak or I am freakishly strong now."

"Depressingly weak," Piccolo stated as he flew down with Gohan clinging to his back, Chichi right behind flying under her own power (a trick she had FINALLY managed to learn after all of us had spent an entire day teasing her about it, which included putting everything on REALLY high shelves).

"Thanks Piccolo, great motivational speech there," I muttered. I walked over and nudged the downed agent with the toe of my shoe. "So… any suggestions on what we do with our new friend?"

"Just leave him be," Chichi stated. "He knows now not to come after us."

Piccolo and I shared a look; neither of us believed that for a fucking minute.

Gohan though chose that moment to let out a little yawn and I sighed, realizing that we were going to have to get out of here with nothing else done with Mutton. "She's right… if he's a government agent we can't demand he be arrested. And he might squeal to people and cause us further problems."

"Which is why I have already made sure to hamper him," Isco said cheekily, reminding us all he was still there. "I took the liberty of downloading his files to my secure cloud network and then placing a virus in his system. The moment he tries to access any file it will not only erase them but also hunt down all his other files and erase them as well." Isco paused. "I also used his personal email and credit card accounts to sign Master Roshi up for some adult websites."

"That last part might be the most evil," I commented.

"I just did what you would sir," Isco said and I frowned as I felt my arms burn, the sensation of Evil Magic swelling in me rather startling.

"Seriously? That was enough… meh, okay." I shrugged and looked to the others. "Lets get out of here."

"Right," Chichi said, gathering up Gohan. "I am done with this place."

~MC~MC~MC~

Agent Mutton awoke an hour later to find the aliens gone and, after a few keystrokes on his computer, his life's work destroyed.

"So then…" he muttered, "you have chosen destruction."

He paused.

"…I really should have asked for his name. Darn it, Scullery is going to complain about that..."

~MC~MC~MC~

Piccolo looked down at the little boy that was currently resting in his arms. Gohan had become tuckered out about twenty minutes into their flight and Chichi, wanting to ask Kayos about his flying methods, had passed the boy over to him before he could protest.

'Weak little runt,' he thought to himself, ignoring the fact that he brought the child a bit closer to his chest. And he certainly wouldn't admit how worried he had been when Gohan had been taken. No… he'd never admit that ever. Not in a million years.

Ever.

"Sir, I am receiving a call from Bulma," Isco stated and Kayos nodded, everyone coming to a stop above the Westland Wastelands so that they could easily hear the message.

"Kayos!" Chiaotzu declared, startling them all that it WASN'T Bulma calling.

"What's going on?" Kayos asked, confused.

"Bulma and Master Roshi… they've been kidnapped."

"I knew we shouldn't have left Mutton back there," Kayos growled in frustration. "Suited guy with glasses?"

That though made Chiaotzu blink. "What? No."

"Then who was it?"

"A moment, sir," Isco said. "I'm connecting to the island's security system… when were they taken?"

"About an hour ago," Chiaotzu said. "Tien is searching the island and Goku is rather upset."

"We'll be there soon," Chichi assured the small fighter. "Just keep Goku from doing something stupid."

Isco hung up before turning to me. "I have the kidnappers, sir. They were not Agent Mutton."

"Then who were they?"Kayos asked and Isco projected out a new image.

It was of a greenish creature, maybe 3 to 4 feet tall, with insect-like features. Two sharp toes, 3 talon-like fingers, wrinkly head, mouth covered in an organic mask, and gleaming red eyes like orbs.

"Bio-Men," Kayos whispered.

"Bio… you know these creatures?" Chichi asked.

"I do. They are the disposable warrior of Dr. Wheelo." Kayos frowned. "But… he shouldn't be free. His lab should be encased in ice…" He looked at Piccolo. "Are you able to contact Kami? I need to ask him something."

'I am here, Kayos,' They all heard the elderly voice say in their heads. 'I was preparing to send word to you… but I fear you have already learned of it.'

"Kami,"Kayos said out loud, "are the Dragon Balls active?"

"That's impossible!" Piccolo declared. "They need a year to charge!"

'Normally that is correct,' Kami said. 'But we are going through a rare, once in a Thousand Years event: The Dragon Moon.'

"The… Dragon Moon?" Chichi asked.

'Yes,' Kami replied. 'A Dragon Moon lasts roughly 6 months and during that time the Dragon Balls only need 1 day to recharge. But… every time they are used their final recharge after the end of the Dragon Moon increases by a year.'

"So if they are used 6 times… it will take 6 YEARS for them to recharge?!" Piccolo declared in shock.

'Yes… and I am afraid that the Dragon Balls… have been used this morning.'

"…fuck," Kayos muttered.

NEXT TIME

THE WORLD'S STRONGEST