It was well after she went into surgery that he got outside, took a breath of the cold, December air and realized how tense his muscles were. One big knot, head to toe.

It kept flashing through his mind, randomly, the scenes the last hour was made up of, the sequence of events that led them here. One image especially, one dimming out the rest; her face, twisted with rage and madness as she was about to slash a throat open — so damn beautiful, why the hell didn't he love it? — it felt somewhat embarrassing to realize he didn't, cringeworthy to remember himself stopping her — there he was, the God of War, this is what it came to — unbelievable.

Embarrassing.

"What's wrong? I thought you liked a little bloodshed…" the memory of her sneering made his jaw clench.

Why would he stop her, anyway?

Maybe this was it, he was withering away already, losing his self.

The thought faded quickly, giving way to another one — that she was damn lucky — the bullet only missed her skull by a hair's width, if it hadn't only grazed the earlobe, she wouldn't be here now.

But she was going to be fine; worst case scenario, they said, was the permanent loss of hearing in one ear, but slim chance of that. She was going to be okay. And they still had time. She was going to be released shortly, anyway. It was a minor surgery, local anaesthesia. They had time. It was going to take a while to trace Gareth's disappearance back to her.

The idiot couldn't have leaked the file yet; nah, he was too much of a wimp to. In that case, they had time.

Unless, Alexis had leaked it already. In which case, they didn't.

Although, he was pretty sure it wasn't the case. Wasn't her style to rush. She was bound to come and gloat first.

Driven by a sudden hunch, he tossed the half-smoked cigarette into the metal ashtray and rushed back inside.

"Oh, there he is… your prince charming, to the rescue," the sneering, raspy voice reached him from where the bitch was standing by the window, the vicious face twisted in a crooked smile.

Ignoring her, he approached the bed, his breath calming a notch when he saw that, apart from the bandage covering her ear, she seemed fine. "You okay?"

"I'm good," she said, never looking at him, her eyes never leaving the dark silhouette by the window. "Leave us."

His jaw clenching, he threw a hard glare towards the window.

"You heard the princess." Alexis leered at him.

"If you as much as touch her, you won't walk out of here alive."

"Oh, no worries — I don't plan on doing to her what she just did to that poor imbecile back there — well, not until she hears all I have to say first."

His knuckles going white in his grip, he only snapped out of his rage when he felt a pull at his hand; calmed him down a bit, just a little.

"I don't know what gives you the impression I'm interested in whatever you have to say, but, well — attention-whoring is incurable," she said, her tone perfectly dry.

"You get real snarky when you're jealous."

"If you came here for pleasantries, you got the wrong address."

"Mood swings starting already?" Alexis grinned. "Have you told him yet?"

He glanced down, frowning, his eyes searching hers. She never looked up.

"Oh, she hasn't told you, has she? Can't blame her though — without knowing who the father is, you might wanna wait with delivering news of such caliber — am I right, Lisa?"

His pulse racing, he bit his lip, willing himself to stay put.

"You done?" she asked flatly.

"Hardly." Alexis raised her brows and smiled a dark smile, her eyes turning deep black when she leaned against the windowsill, her back to the window. "Well, hopefully the kid's not his — if you saw what he did in Vegas — you wouldn't want him for a father, trust me."

Slowly, a bit blurrily, somewhere around that moment it started to occur to him that, unless he now gave it his all to keep at bay what was boiling inside him, things were going to escalate, and soon; and he couldn't afford it, not when he had her to protect, not with that witch here; whatever powers Alexis had, this wasn't the time and place to test it.

"Why, you jealous he fucked everyone but you?"

Alexis' fake laugh filled the room. "Oh, dear… I really wish things hadn't gone bad between us the way they have… but this is what you chose."

"If you're here to tell me you're gonna leak the file, spare me."

"I'm not just gonna leak it, darling. I'm gonna leak it to the press." Alexis grinned. "Topping it off with a little video of what you just did to your colleague Gareth — by the way, the trick with the rod was inventive, wasn't it? — thought it would be a nice touch."

"It was you…"

"Well, your boyfriend's not the only one with magic skills here."

"You're pathetic."

"It's not nice going behind people's backs, you should've known better."

"Oh, I'm sorry I hurt your feelings."

Alexis puckered her lips, as if lost in thought. "And I'm sorry, too — that I wasted so much time on someone as disappointing as you." She sighed. "All my efforts to bring back your true self, all for nothing…" She shook her head, smirking. "You had your five minutes, though — that was what got me fooled, believing it was who you really were — well, I should've known better than to expect someone as weak as you to embrace their full potential. When even getting rid of that little goodie-goodie friend of yours didn't do the trick — that should've been my cue."

"What did you say?" she asked breathlessly.

"That was probably the biggest disappointment of all, now that I think of it. Especially since it took some effort and logistics to convince the right people that your little colleague was a serious threat to them."

He locked her in his hold tightly. "She's trying to get under your skin, it's what she's been doing all along," he whispered near her ear, doubting she even heard it, all her muscles tensing into stone, her skin almost sparking as Alexis' amused voice kept seeping into the air like poison.

"Maybe it would've worked better if you saw the fun they had with her… they made quite a spectacle of it, I have to admit," Alexis arched her brows, raising her open palm. "Your prince charming over there had nothing to do with it, though — I made that up, sorry — in fact, he didn't leak the file to that imbecile colleague of yours, either — amazing, what cyber technology can do, isn't it?"

He still managed to keep her restrained for now, but if it wasn't for the nurse that entered the room that very moment, he wasn't sure how long it would've lasted.

"Everything fine here?" the nurse said, to no one in particular. "Everyone who's not family — leave the room, please. Are you family?" the woman turned to Alexis.

"Till next time, Xena…" Alexis let out a little laugh on her way out; he glared till she left the room.

His attention drifting back to the woman in his arms, he shifted on the bed, adjusting her in his embrace till he tucked her head under his chin.

"Are you family?" the nurse turned to him in the same dry tone.

"Yes," her voice struck him as it suddenly filled the air, before he had the chance to answer, before he realized the warm sensation on his forearm was her hand clasping around it.

"Sir — nonetheless I'm gonna have to ask you to let go of the patient now, she should be resting in horizontal position."

As if through a fog, but he heard the words, and processed them, and couldn't move a muscle; it took him a moment to bring himself to pull away.

"Wait," she protested in a weak whisper, her breath warm on his neck. "Give us a minute," she said to the nurse.

The door creaked open, heels softly clacking on the floor, several steps. The door creaked close.

She pressed her cheek to his neck and he held her; in silence, stroking the back of her head, not thinking, his mind blank, numbingly, pleasantly so; till he felt her body thaw in his arms, iron-hard muscles going limp.

She didn't cry; not that he could tell. At some point, he even wished she would; make a sound, anything.

He opened his mouth, but no words came; not for another long while.

"You stopped me," she said, her voice hoarse, barely audible. "Why?"

He huffed at the irony of it. Some god of war he was, dragging his best warrior away from the fight. "How's your ear?" he asked, laying her against the pillows.

"Why did you stop me?"

He sighed. "You're not exactly fit to get into a fight right now."

"Before."

He bit the inside of his lip, drawing a breath in.

"Back there, I was exactly what you wanted, wasn't I?" she asked, her tone bitter.

"What I thought I wanted."

She pursed her lips and huffed. "I knew it."

"But seeing it made me realize that… it wasn't her I wanted." He pressed his lips together for a moment. "That the one I want… is looking at me right now."

Her eyes went glossy, fingers locking around his thumb. "I'm sorry I didn't believe you," she said hastily, blinking as she cast her eyes down, "about the video."

"You had a legit reason to, so… you're off the hook, for now." He half-grinned, stroking the nape of her hand with his thumb. "How's the ear?"

"There's still some of it left, I think." She closed her eyes, frowning. "Not sure how much, though." The corner of her mouth curled up in that disarming, wry smile of hers.

He reached out to cradle her cheek, loving the way she hummed, how she leaned into his touch.

"My bag." Her eyes snapped open. "It was in the car—"

"Got it right here."

She gave him a look of disbelief. "Oh."

"Surprised?"

She tensed her lips in suppressed smile. "You always think of everything, don't you?"

"Not that it's easy with you around, but — I try to." He replied with a stifled grin of his own.

The door opened, displaying the face of the doctor. "All good news — it's all looking good, both you and the baby — the inside of the ear wasn't fractured, so the hearing should be back within hours."

"The baby…" he echoed in disbelief, a hot tingle running up the back of his neck. So, it was true — Alexis mentioned it, but — somehow, he dismissed it along with the rest of the mad rambling.

She sniffed, her lashes fluttering, mouth parting, panic in her gaze when their eyes met.

"It's yours," she said softly. "I didn't sleep with anyone since—"

"—were you gonna tell me?" he cut her off, and swallowed with effort, not sure he really wanted to hear her say out loud what he knew was the answer.

Her lips tensing, she cast her eyes down, escaping his gaze.

"You were never gonna tell me, were you…"

"After I thought you betrayed me — no."

He scoffed, nodding with his lips pursed. "Of course not…" He ran his tongue over his teeth. "So, you were just gonna take off…"

"Once Alexis smelled the rat, it was this or turn myself in."

"For fuck's sake…"

"Which I would've done…" she trailed off, pressing a hand to her stomach, "if it wasn't for… him or her. That's why I had to disappear — that's what the bag is for."

He glanced at the black duffel stuffed on a little metal stool in the corner.

"Can you get it?"

Without a word, he brought the bag, and placed it on the bed by her side, his eyes on the zipper. He snorted in amusement when she opened it and the contents came into view. "Guess you won't be needing the passport I got you, then…"

He watched her go through the items inside, the gun muzzle catching his eye. Funny, how ironic — Bonnie and Clyde was finally happening, and all he could think of was — that all of what he was looking at — was just means she was going to use to leave him — take his child away, disappear on him, like he was no one to her, like they—

Just like that.

A bitter feeling washed over his chest, then — his mind went empty — and then he — just didn't know what he felt anymore; or, that it was possible to feel so much joy, anger and hurt at once.

"What're you thinking?" her voice reached him after a while.

He huffed, swallowing the bitterness flooding him again.

What was he thinking?

That — it shouldn't really surprise him, any of it. And, that it made him feel stupid that it affected him like that; and, that, somehow, he didn't want her to know how much it did. And, that it made him feel stupid when he thought that, for her, he could give up his godhood and spend the rest of his mortal life in the middle of the Pacific, in a house with hay roof, breeding horses and having kids. And that it was something they could never have; that their life would always be on the run.

And, that he wasn't going to tell her any of that.

And that now, it wasn't just her life he was scared for.

Slowly, he placed a hand over her stomach. "That I hope it's a girl." He locked her hand in his, brushing the nape with his thumb, smiling a little at the sudden memory of the black-haired little face beaming at him. "And that she'll look like you." His brows arching, he raised his eyes at her, brought her hand to his mouth, and, very slowly, softly, pressed his lips to her knuckles.

And, with a surprising sense of calm growing in his chest, he watched her, pensively, greedily, every little detail; as her face softened, her breath suddenly very shallow; as her eyes, previously wide with uncertainty, now welled up with tenderness he hadn't seen before — until two glistening drops rolled down the slightly flushed cheeks without a single blink; until it dawned on him that actually, he never before really knew what it meant, to want to live. Not a percentile as much as he did now.

It felt silly, how much he wanted to tell her that.