Author's note:
Dear reader,
I don't usually do this and it feels somewhat exposing, but — somehow, I felt like getting some of my thoughts and feelings off my chest /rambling alert/.
Originally, this was where the story ended. But then I thought — nah, I went too easy on them. And so, several more chapters are coming up, not quite finished yet — I'm really struggling with this story, somehow — but in the following chapters, I feel the urge to get more into Xena's head, explore the issues, fears and inhibitions that she struggles with as a result of a bit different circumstances she grew up with this time around — more or less different from canon, as you noticed.
I felt the need to make this remark since I feel — you may feel — that this Xena is out of character at times — I tried to make grounds for it by changing her childhood and teen years, orphanage, addiction etc. — I realize that makes her character drift away from the original but I guess I just felt the need to have her more vulnerable — get Ares confused by how it didn't put him off but triggered all those unfamiliar, protective urges in him — and highlight how deeply and permanently a person's upbringing impacts the rest of their life; maybe 'cause I've been struggling with the issue myself a lot. Hope it's not too depressing overall.
Okay, who am I kidding — I hope it's damn depressing and you already ended up listening to Alice in Chains' "Nutshell" on loop. Actually, it was listening to this song on loop that made this story be born in the first place.
Thank you for reading, liking and sharing feedback, it makes me so happy every time.