Chapter Three

Life Is What Happens To You While…

The minister closed his bible at the end of the rehearsal, cast a harassed look at his wristwatch and started to make his excuses. He looked up and down the lawn, obviously trying to see which way he needed to go to return to his car.

"Come on, I'll show you out." RC waved his hand at the house. "It's this way. I'll come with you. I have some important work I need to get sorted."

I noticed he glanced thoughtfully at Carolyn as if he intended to speak with her then changed his mind. He frowned at me before he punched Michael lightly in the shoulder. "I'm not the one getting married and moving on. Later, man."

"Thank you," the minister replied gratefully, quickly saying his goodbyes before following RC's lead toward the stone steps leading up to the terrace.

Reginald paused at the top of the steps and glanced back toward Carolyn again. Then he turned to frown at me and he shrugged. After one final look, he ushered the minister into the house and they both disappeared.

I had no time to wonder what all that staring was about. I shook my head as I looked away and began talking with Stevie and Michael about their plans for their shared future.

It still hurt that Michael wouldn't change his mind about remaining with FLAG. I had extended all the blandishments I could think of. More money and fewer hours spent away from LA. He could work in any role he desired within the organisation.

If I thought it would help I would have offered him my own role! After all, I wasn't getting any younger. It was coming to the point where it needed a man like Michael in charge, to keep the board happy and off our backs as we worked. Except he hated making phone calls and doing paperwork, along with the need to schmooze people he heartily detested. He was no diplomat, sadly.

I sighed with disappointment. Of course, Michael had refused every offer I'd made. I well knew by the grimly stubborn look in his eyes and understood it was no longer an option he would reconsider. He'd given us four years of his new life. Now he would have his bride to care for and protect.

And Michael Knight would do that with his very last breath. That impulse I did understand. He was a very lucky man to have found the right woman for him in time.

From the corner of my eye, I watched Bonnie walk over to Carolyn. The two women were soon engaged in conversation and I tried to listen, but they were too far away.

I wanted to edge closer. But politeness kept me rooted to the spot and my own conversation. This day belonged to these two young people. It was their ultimate happiness that mattered most.

"She's very pretty," Stevie said then, noticing my distraction. "How long has it been since you last saw each other?"

"Thirty-five years," I replied with a rush of exhaled breath. I ran a hand up and around the back of my neck, at a loss to explain further.

"That's a very long time," Stevie said with sympathy. "You must be so happy to find her again."

"I figured it was that long ago." Michael laid one forefinger along the side of his nose, tapping it. "From when you were a spy for the British, right? I get it." His narrowed eyes gleamed with the need to know more. I could feel him brimming with questions I was loathe to answer. "Was she a—?"

"I don't know about you two, but I'm hungry," I interrupted quickly, forestalling any further awkward questions about my past I wasn't prepared to answer. "We should be going inside and see what the chef has prepared. I can't stay for too long. I have a very busy afternoon. I still have a foundation to run."

"All right, Devon." Michael frowned at me, looking a little put out. He saw more than I wanted him to and I wasn't about to explain further. But I could see his mind working. He was not going to allow his questions to rest with my refusal to answer them.

"Is Carolyn going to be staying with you, here at the house, while she's in town?" Stevie asked in all innocence as I turned to stride across the lawn and offer my luncheon invitation.

The elicit idea had already occurred to me and stirred the need within me once more. To have her so close. A sweet distraction from my work. Impossible. "I… she already has a suite booked at the Beverly Wilshire. She'll be staying there. I don't know how much longer she'll be in town," I added for good measure.

"Then you should make up for lost time. What does she do for a living?" Michael asked, his interest caused by my reticence now fully alive and probing.

He no longer had anywhere urgent he needed to be. No more fires to put out or the world to set to rights once more. I felt for KITT in that moment. He'd already expressed his feelings and thoughts on the thorny subject of his partner's resignation. They were a bonded team. They had been right from the very beginning. Wilton and I had made sure of that.

Now I needed to find a new pilot for the missions ahead. I'd already faced facts. I doubted I could find anyone half as good as Michael Knight. Another hurdle to surmount and soon.

I shook my head. "I have no idea about what Carolyn does. You'll have to ask her yourself," I replied shortly as we reached the two women seated on the stone bench.

"Touchy…" Michael shrugged, his expression full of brooding curiosity. "Hey, Bonnie. Great service, thanks."

"Yes…" Stevie kissed my engineer's cheek. "We're so grateful you asked to make the arrangements. It all went like a dream. I can't wait for our big day."

"You're very welcome." Bonnie's face flushed with pleasure as she stood up. "I usually find machines are much better at doing what they're told than people. You proved me wrong today."

They began talking further about the success of the rehearsal so I took Carolyn's arm and drew her up to stand beside me. She looked distracted. A frown had drawn her brows together.

I turned my back to block the others' view of our conversation and lowered my voice. "Are you all right?"

"Oh, yes, I'm fine." She smiled up at me. "It was such a lovely ceremony. You have some wonderful friends who care a lot about you. I'm glad."

Her smile trembled a little at the edges. I inhaled her fresh perfume and it filled my parched senses. I hadn't had the time to notice it before. Mingled with the scent of the roses she still held in her hands, she seemed like the very essence of the warm summer's day.

My sweet, beautiful Luciana…

Her elegantly styled designer dress showed off the smooth, lightly tanned skin of her arms and legs. Strappy sandals on her feet displayed gaily-painted toenails. I couldn't prevent myself from smiling down at them before I looked up again, drinking her in.

Once her hair had been dark and long, often caught at the nape of her neck with a comb or clasp. Now those same tresses were ash-blonde and cut short to define the sweet shape of her face and high cheekbones. Everything about her took my breath away and that most traitorous part of my body reached out toward her once more with a vital hunger that I needed to quell permanently for both our sakes.

I inhaled sharply, looking down into her sea-green eyes. They were watching me with so many questions mirrored in them. If we'd been alone in this garden, here and now, I seriously doubted I could have prevented myself from reaching for her. I burned to bury myself once more in her silken softness and forget everything vital I'd taught myself about how to survive in this dangerous, cut-throat world I now inhabited.

I'd learned I was better off alone. I didn't need and I certainly didn't want. Such tangible things could get you killed, or worse. It could extinguish all that you loved and cherished within a heartbeat leaving you with nothing but ashes and memories. There couldn't be any happy-ever-after for me.

I wasn't Michael. Lucky as he was. He was getting out while he could. While he still had his whole life before him. I couldn't walk away and not look back.

I shrugged absently at the troublesome thought. This was real life. Not some fanciful fairy story about vanquishing the villain and slaying the dragons until true love conquers all. The End…

I was vitally glad for the safety afforded by the rest of our small group. I drew my lips taut, forcing back the wanton desires surging through me. I backed up and reached for the inane once more. The safe option.

"It's time we went inside." I raised my brows at her. "Would you like to stay for lunch? I'll ask Michael to drive you back to your hotel later. Unfortunately, I have a heavy workload I must attend to this afternoon. I have to make some very important international calls."

"Thank you," she replied formally. "I would like that."

The look in her eyes belied her words. She was disappointed in me. I knew I sounded self-important. It couldn't be helped. It was still the truth.

"Excellent…" I took the safe option again, unable to explain.

"I have a question, though," she said then.

"Only one?" I tried to tease lightly, hoping I could answer it.

"That car over there. The black Trans Am that was parked in front of the house." She nodded toward the adjacent walkway lined with the cypress trees. "Oh, it's gone…" She looked confused. "It was there a few minutes ago. I could almost swear it was watching us. That funny red light on its hood…"

She shook her head. "All right. I know that sounds crazy. Forget it. I'm a little tired."

I turned and pretended to look. "It's very unlikely," I replied gently. "Maybe it was just a trick of the light."

Obviously, KITT had driven around from the front driveway to watch the rehearsal. How could I explain about the advanced artificial intelligence I'd built into a car that, at times, almost seemed like family? He certainly acted like a wise old grandmother given half the chance.

I sensed the others had finished their conversation and were watching us with varying expressions of curiosity. I turned with my hand once again in the small of Carolyn's back to usher her forward. "Come on. Let's go inside. We'll find a vase for those roses."

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I quickly settled for our meal being served in the relaxed informality of the main kitchen. As we ate, the banter among us was easy and informal. The ongoing presence of the household staff as they came and went kept the conversation from becoming too personal. I was grateful for that. I could sit back and watch my close friends make Carolyn feel at home among them while I offered little to the conversation.

From time to time, Bonnie turned and looked at me critically. I pretended not to notice. I could sense the questions that were reflected in her frowning eyes. I knew she was trying to work out just exactly what was going on. I had no suitable answers so I avoided looking at her.

"What do you do for a living, Carolyn?" she suddenly asked, turning away from me.

"Oh…" Carolyn put down her wine glass. "I'm a… writer," she replied, after a small hesitation.

"Oh, how interesting. What do you write?" Stevie sat forward eagerly. "Maybe I've read some of them. I love books."

Carolyn's eyes flickered briefly to mine. "I… write crime novels combined with a central romance."

"Do you now?" Michael's speculative gaze tracked to me. He had been born to be a detective, he never took anything at face value. He seemed determined to dig until he found the truth. Or what he thought it was. "Under your own name?"

I wanted to end the conversation then and there. But I was powerless to stop it. I took a long drink of my wine and toyed with the stem of the glass between my fingers, trying to show my unconcern.

Again Carolyn's eyes flicked back to me. She looked uncomfortable. I had to assume it was the line of questioning as if she didn't want to answer.

I was about to intervene when she shrugged and said quietly, "No. My pen name is Luciana Watson. You might have heard of me..." She looked quickly around the table, but not in my direction.

Luciana… her beloved name echoed through me.

I sighed as I shook my head, knowing my expression was as clueless as Michael's. She said the name like we should know who that was. I smiled ruefully. Crime fighting didn't leave a lot of time for reading about such dark deeds as well. But to the two women, it seemed to mean something.

"Wow…" Bonnie said. "So that's you? I do love your tech details. They're always spot on."

"Thank you." Carolyn nodded quickly. "My two sons help me with all of that. Especially my Danny. He loves cars and computers." Her eyes slid back to mine. "Like that Trans Am out in the driveway. He would adore that car."

Michael shrugged. "Kitt's one of a kind. But don't tell him that. It'll only give him a swelled head."

I noticed that as soon as Carolyn mentioned she had children of her own, his narrowed gaze dropped to the ring finger of her left hand. A pale line in her tan gave the clue that she'd recently removed her rings. Michael's clinical mind often grasped the small details a lot of people missed. I had trained him too well. Now he was like a keen bloodhound on a scent.

I grimaced when I saw Carolyn's brow crease at the unusual comment he made about KITT. I knew she was still processing what she already knew about the car. I frowned at Michael repressively, silently telling him not to give too much away. He shrugged in reply, his expression full of speculation. He was enjoying himself at my expense.

"Of course!" Stevie suddenly jumped with excitement. "I wanted to say before, but I wasn't sure. I thought your face looked familiar. It's on the back cover of your books. Oh, how wonderful! I've read every book you've ever written. I loved your latest Greystone trilogy. You do write so beautifully. I've always been in love with your hero investigator. He's divine and so handsome."

"Better looking than me?" Michael asked in a mock wounded tone, with one hand pressed to his chest over his heart.

"Almost…" Stevie smiled playfully, taking his hand between hers and kissing the back of it. "Edward Grainger does have your blue eyes but his hair isn't dark like yours. He's blond and –" She stopped and turned to stare at me. She put a hand to her mouth. "Oh…" she said again, her cheeks colouring.

As always, Michael immediately guessed the rest. He never missed a chance to rib me. "Devon, you really are a very dark horse. Today's been a total revelation, thanks to Carolyn's arrival." He saluted us with his wine glass. "Who knew you have a secret life as a romantic hero." He chuckled at his own bold wit.

I stood up. It was time to end this before it got too far out of hand. "If everyone is finished…" I looked across the table at Bonnie. "I believe we all have our tasks. Reginald is already hard at work. May I suggest you should join him."

She rose quickly to her feet. "Of course, yes. It's been lovely to meet you, Carolyn." They shook her hands. "There's room for one more guest at the wedding. If you'd like to come."

Bonnie's slanted glance at me defied me to object. "It's next Saturday. If you're not too busy writing."

"Oh yes, please do come…" Stevie enthused as she and Michael stood up together. "We would love that."

"Then how can I refuse?" Carolyn smiled, not looking at me. "I would love to come. I have no urgent deadlines I need to meet."

"Great." Michael nodded, his eyes still assessing.

"I'll send an invitation to your hotel," Bonnie added before she turned and left the kitchen.

But not without one last considering glance cast in my direction. I could see her analytical mind working in overdrive. She obviously had questions I wasn't about to answer.

I shook my head as I turned away. It was now time to part again. To send Carolyn back to her life. Until Saturday.

"Ah, Michael, would you please drive Carolyn back to her hotel? I have a great deal of work I must catch up on. Those telephone calls can't wait any longer."

"Okay, if that's what you want, Devon. It's all the same to me." He shrugged. "But are you sure? I mean, you've only just found each other again. You two have a lot of ground to make up. And the Wilshire's a very nice hotel. You said Carolyn had a suite there?" His raised eyebrows implied so much more.

I frowned at him. "Very sure. Thank you, Michael. We'll see you out front when you're ready to leave."

"Sure, be right there. Just give me ten minutes or so. I got something urgent I need to do."

"Fine. Ten minutes, then." I smiled quickly at Stevie. "It was a lovely ceremony. Thank you for gifting me the privilege of giving you away." I nodded as I turned from them to encourage Carolyn toward the front door of the house.

"I'm so sorry…" she said the moment we were alone. "I just never expected to see you again. They told me you were dead, remember?"

She heaved a deep sigh. "But I just couldn't get you out of my mind. And when I discovered I had a talent for writing crime novels, I thought, what could it hurt if I used you as my hero?" Her lips thinned with bittersweet sadness. "You were once my hero, after all."

She stopped and looked up at my face. "Are you really angry? You don't look too pleased. I'm truly sorry if I embarrassed you back there. Michael does seem to take great delight in ribbing you. I knew I shouldn't have said anything."

"You could never embarrass me," I replied with a sigh, trying to relax my rigidity. She had meant no harm in using my image for her novels.

Her look said she disbelieved me but she didn't pursue it. "Who was that guy you told me about once? The man with the cat in the box. You didn't know if it was alive or dead unless you opened the lid and looked inside."

"Erwin Schrödinger," I supplied absently, looking down at her with resignation. "It was an experiment in quantum mechanics. He formulated it with Einstein and—"

"Whatever…" Carolyn waved a quick hand. "If you never opened the box, then you couldn't know if the cat inside was alive or dead. You could live with the not knowing and cling to the only thing you have left. Hope…"

"That's one way of looking at it," I replied warily. "Carolyn, where is this going?"

I could hear Michael talking again with Stevie. He must have finished whatever he needed to do. He would soon catch up to take Carolyn away from me and this moment would be gone forever.

Carolyn linked the fingers of one hand through mine. "Michael's leaving you and the important work you're doing here, isn't he?" she asked quickly. "I could see that you're very unhappy about it all. But he's doing it for love. He has someone important in his life now."

"Yes…" I admitted bleakly, my breath leaving me in a rush. "He was almost killed recently while working for the Foundation. Now he has Stevie, he doesn't want to risk putting her life in any danger. I can accept that. I can move on." I raised one shoulder. "I don't have any other choice."

Carolyn tightened her grip on my hand. "But what if that's no longer enough? Just accepting what must be because you think you can't change it? Or maybe you're too afraid to even try."

"Afraid?" I frowned down at her. "Look, Carolyn, you don't understand. I'm not free to make such personal choices. I have heavy responsibilities for the primary safety of too many others."

"Maybe I don't understand because you won't let me in." She leaned closer, bringing my hand up to press it between her breasts over the rapid beating of her heart. "But I know that hope is all we have left. Why can't we both reach for what could be instead? I want to tear open Schrödinger's blasted box and find out if that cat is still alive inside."

"Ah, Luciana…" I groaned. "You must see it's impossible. I'm no longer that brash young man. I have so many people who depend on me to be level-headed and clear thinking. And without any weaknesses, my enemies could use or exploit. I couldn't put you in harm's way again. If anything happened to you…" I shook my head.

There were so many more imperative reasons against her staying. A lack of privacy for one. Everything and everyone who came within the FLAG orbit was scrutinised and analysed for any flaws or weaknesses. Their backgrounds were thoroughly searched for any hidden skeletons.

But how could I explain that to her? Many people could not handle the total invasion of their lives and ultimately declined to join our organisation.

Michael had been the one exception. Wilton and I had given him no choice. We chose to make the new and improved version of Michael Knight from the mortal remains of Michael Long. But now, even he was leaving us. It seemed that nothing did last forever…

"Then don't think, Devon. Just feel…" Carolyn raised my hand to her lips. "I've lived with the fantasy of seeing you again for the last thirty-five years. I've written about you and dreamed about you too. You were always the mysterious ghost in my marriage. Ian was so jealous of your memory because you kept coming between us. I don't want to die alone, wondering about what might have been now that I've just found you again…"

Her breathing hitched. "Please don't make me regret it all now…" Her wide-open eyes pleaded for my understanding. "Don't tell me that all we ever had together was just a dream. Please don't do that. I couldn't bear it if you did…"

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