Chapter Eleven

Whither Thou Goest, I Will Go

We walked out of the hotel and across the car park together. Carolyn did not let go of my arm and I was glad of the intimate contact. She was so small and warm against me. I looked down at her and inhaled deeply.

My mind did slip back to those days when we would walk for hours together along the banks of the Thames. Despite the dangerous work we were involved in, it had truly been a magical time.

My body tightened with renewed need and my heart rate gathered pace. I had never forgotten any of that time and I missed it all like the very devil! It made me both burn and ache.

In those few short days when we met again back in LA, she'd shown me how empty my life at FLAG had become. I'd been too busy and involved in saving the world again and again to notice. And when she left me behind, as surely as I'd once abandoned her on that railway platform in London, I wondered if I would ever feel whole again.

I released my breath in a rush. I took comfort in the fact that Carolyn had agreed to stay with me for one night in Sedona. I would need to make the most of that precious time. She would not slip away so easily this time and I had no intention of leaving her behind again.

"This is mine," Carolyn said, distracting me from my troubled thoughts. "When I said I wanted to buy a new car, Kitt helped me to choose it. My family were not so sure, but I didn't allow them to change my mind. I said I'd been advised by an expert in automobiles." Her lips twitched.

"I see…" I replied slowly, wondering about these mysterious conversations she'd been having with my car.

What had she and Kitt talked about over the last few months? I'd been completely excluded from such intimate contact. I wondered who else knew they'd been talking. I felt a sharp stab of jealousy that I managed to conceal.

But Carolyn surprised me with her choice of vehicle. While I expected her to unlock the sedate and sensible-looking four-door white sedan, instead she opened the driver's door of a smart new Jeep Cherokee. It was as black and gleaming as Kitt. It looked too powerful for such a slender woman.

"Get in," she invited, waving me toward the passenger door as she stepped up and into the driver's seat with practised ease.

I must have looked as dubious as I felt when I did as she asked because she smiled at me with feminine satisfaction. She picked up a pair of mirrored sunglasses from the dashboard and pushed them up over the bridge of her nose. She turned the key in the ignition and the engine immediately purred into obedient life.

"I'll admit I was dubious about this one too, at first," she said as she piloted us from the carpark and onto the highway. "But I didn't let on. Now, I'm very happy with my purchase. Kitt certainly knows his vehicles." She chuckled softly.

"And you arrived in Sedona an hour earlier than he'd planned," I commented wryly, watching how she handled the large vehicle with assurance. "You threw out all his careful calculations about how we were to meet again. The hotel receptionist did look confused at seeing us checking in together. I wonder what had been planned."

"Then I'm very glad I did arrive early," she conceded, glancing at me. "Aren't you?"

I frowned at my reflection in her mirrored sunglasses. Not being able to see her eyes frustrated my ability to discern her meaning.

She shrugged. "I didn't know why I was being sent on holiday to Sedona. My daughter seemed to think it was a great idea for me to look at some new background scenes for my next book. Somewhere I had never travelled, she said."

She smiled indulgently. "As much as I love her and Maria, once I understood their plans, I didn't want our meeting to be something they'd scripted or planned out in advance."

"And Kitt had this journey organised down to the very last detail," I conceded, now understanding her meaning. "That's why he's here with me. He had it all worked out about how we were to finally meet again. What would happen next? I wonder what they have planned for us."

"Exactly. Don't you love playing truant from all their expectations?" Carolyn smiled as she turned off the highway to follow a narrow, single-lane, dirt road that ran up among the hills and valleys of the red rock country. "We're being treated like two children who don't know their own minds."

Her smile widened with satisfaction. "Now, even Kitt can't find us."

"Yes…" I shook my head as I looked around at the passing scenery.

I doubted she knew where she was going but I figured the road must end somewhere. But not with us in a ditch or worse. I sat still and tried not to look as confounded as I felt. I was not used to being the passenger in any vehicle, especially not one so powerful being driven by a woman.

"Relax…" Carolyn laughed softly as she addressed my awkward stiffness. "I looked over a few maps last night. I wanted to get some sense of the place and what it has to offer. I'm supposed to be here on a fact-finding mission, after all."

"Very well…" I watched as the steering wheel turned neatly beneath her confident hands.

The vehicle took the corner sharply, but with barely enough room as we swung upwards before we entered a smoothed-out viewing area at the top of the hill. I can't say I wasn't grateful as she brought the big four-wheel drive to a stop at the very edge where the slope fell away to a truly impressive view of mountains and cliffs of stunning beauty.

Pristine snow clung like white candyfloss in the sheltered swales and hollows among the red and ochre coloured rocks as the sun began to slide down into the west spreading coloured rays across the sky. It truly was a magnificent sight. My fingers wanted to reach for my camera, but that was for another time.

"Here we are, then…" Carolyn sighed as she turned the engine off and the brooding silence of the surrounding wilderness enclosed us. We were truly alone out here, and it was past time for us to have that long overdue talk.

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"Here we are, then…" I turned the engine off and the vast silence of the surrounding countryside slipped into the vehicle, cloaking us in the impressive quietude.

It really was a beautiful view, sunlit slopes and sequestered hollows where white drifts of the morning's snow still clung. It truly was the perfect setting for a tale of gripping mystery and complex murder. Maybe more than one. I could see Edward Grainger walking these hills in search of all the clues. I wondered why I had never thought of Sedona before.

I shook my head as I glanced at Devon's thoughtful expression. Now was not the time to be formulating possible scenarios. It was past time for us to talk to each other as we should have that memorable day we first met again. But time and circumstance always seemed to be against us or actively working to keep us as far apart as humanly possible.

"You didn't ask me to stay with you in the hospital," Devon stated quietly, catching me off-guard as I looked back at the magnificent view. "Or allow me to care for you afterwards. And I think I know why."

I took off my sunglasses as I turned to look at him, seeing the pain in his eyes. "I wanted to…" I sighed. "But I was in denial about so many things. And in so much pain I couldn't think straight. The doses of morphine took away my ability to reason things out. My brain was trapped inside a white fog full of terror and Durant. My children made decisions for me that they thought best."

I shook my head with regret. "In the end, it was easier to leave than to stay. No one could see any future for us. I'm sorry, but I've tried to move on with my life. It hasn't been easy. Something was always missing."

"None of it was your fault. It's I who should be apologising," he replied, his hand moving to cover mine where it rested on the steering wheel. "I lived in a dangerous world that would have always tried to kill us both if given half a chance."

I raised my shoulders helplessly. "And yet, it did just that." I turned my hand within his grip to tangle my fingers through his. "I couldn't believe it when I saw you again in the street. I almost walked on by, telling myself you were just not real. That it wasn't possible. You were dead."

"I almost didn't look back when I heard my old name being called," Devon admitted softly, carrying my hand to his lips. "I was convinced I was dreaming. I didn't want to look and find I was. But the vast emptiness of my life became starkly obvious in the very moment I looked down into your eyes again."

"Yes…" I shook my head. "And you were carrying those roses. I just knew they were for another woman. You were no longer mine."

"And they were." Devon's lips brushed the backs of my fingers a second time. "Poor Stevie has been so worried about you and for you. They all have. Even Kitt."

"And now, here we are…" I stroked the curve of his cheek with my fingertips. "Brought back together by well-meaning family and friends, and a talking car. What could be more perfect?"

I knew I wanted him badly. I could privately admit that even as I shook my head. "And I guess we're stuck with Schrödinger's blasted puzzle box again. We need to find the courage to open it and discover the truth. Are we meant to be together again or is it far too late?"

I gathered my breath and expelled it slowly as I tilted my head at him. "You said you're permanently out of the business of saving the world. That Kitt's only on loan from Michael's new business for a few days. So, what work are you doing now?" My heartbeat skipped with concern and anticipation.

'Cuisle mo chroí…' I could see those words in the depths of his blue eyes. They made me shiver with desire. The night ahead of us both held such promise.

"It's all right. Now I take nothing but photographs," Devon admitted softly, studying each of my features in turn with an intensity that made me burn deeply and intimately. "It can be a little dangerous at times, trying for the perfect shot. I've lost my footing more than once."

He nodded at my sigh of relief. "I sell my framed works through exhibitions all around the world. It's become quite lucrative over these past few months. I have a new exhibition opening in London in three months."

He smiled at me. "Satisfied?" he teased softly.

"You're really that good…" I was truly impressed. "Mind you, with your eye for fine details. I'm glad you found something you could do after you resigned from FLAG."

"It has been interesting." He lifted one shoulder. "Lately, I've found it's becoming tedious living out of a succession of hotel rooms and suitcases. I'm thinking of finding a house to buy in Montecito near Michael and Stevie and settling down. Their investigation business is expanding, and they could do with a good bookkeeper. Nothing dangerous. I'll still do my photography on the side."

I nodded quickly. "I'm so glad for you. It all sounds wonderful. Over the last few months, I've tried to imagine you behind a desk in some new corporate role saving the world again. I didn't want that image to be real."

I fingered the softness of his sheepskin jacket. "I love this new look of yours. Very much."

"That you were thinking about me at all gives me some hope," he replied, his blue eyes darkening with desire. "I told you over lunch that the only world I'm trying to save now is the world of you…" He leaned close enough to lightly kiss the tip of my nose. "…and me."

"Yes, you did say that." I nodded quickly.

His mouth turned down at the corners. "But none of it will keep me warm at night. I feel just as alone now as I was before. Without you…" His gaze intensified. "You have evicted me from my life. From all I once knew and understood to be real. What are you planning on doing about it?"

"Devon…" I breathed, shaking my head. I felt he was going too fast for me even as my aroused body craved his intimate touch.

"Please don't leave me here, alone in the dark…" he said then.

My breathing caught and held. 'Oh, not fair, Mr Miles. Not fair at all…'

"Cuisle mo chroí…" he added softly, drawing me closer to him with his hold on my hands and I didn't resist. "Grá mo chroí…"

The beauty of his native tongue washed through me on wings of fire. The soft brogue of his accent made me desire him all over again as it always did. As he knew it always would…

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I could feel her resolve softening. Even as she shook her head and tried to deny me. I sensed she thought I was going too fast. For me, it wasn't fast enough. I needed to have her in my arms again. I wanted to kiss her more than anything. More than my need for my next breath.

"Cuisle mo chroí…" I repeated softly again, falling further into my native brogue without really knowing it. "My beautiful Luciana…"

"You don't play fair, Mr Miles…" she whispered. "You never did."

"Then don't expect me to start now…" I saw the overwhelming passion ignite in her eyes.

It was that easy and that simple to awaken her desires. It always had been. We both knew it. She could never deny me.

As Carolyn leaned into me, as close as the console between us would allow, I felt a brief moment of amusement at the awkwardness of our ability to embrace each other fully. I would settle for the softness of her lips right now, but soon I would have all her again or die in the attempt. She truly was the pulse of my heart. There was no other way to describe her.

I drifted the backs of my fingers against her cheeks before settling the softness of her warm skin into the palms of my hands. I stared deep into her eyes. She didn't look away and nor did I.

We watched each other coming closer and closer to finally bring our passion together. I saw her lips open, ready to receive my kiss as we moved to a whisper apart. I could almost taste her, and I knew one sip of her beauty would never be enough. I smiled as I inhaled her perfume deeply, ready to make her mine once more.

Ideas of our making use of the roomy vehicle did enter my mind. We had yet to make out in the back seat of any car. Of course, we were in a public place, and anyone could arrive at any moment. I felt the eagerness in her and decided to let nature take whatever course it chose. But I would have preferred to enjoy her in a wide, soft bed and a locked door, but needs —

Suddenly, an almighty racket seemed to explode all around us. Blaring music fairly shouted its presence as a modified, all-terrain vehicle crunched to a shuddering halt beside us. Any eagerness on my part to take her here and now was immediately squashed.

Over Carolyn's shoulder, I could see a group of young people disembarking from their brightly painted vehicle, looking ours over with curiosity as they drank from their cans of beer. A few eager faces dipped to stare inside, and various comments were made. None of them were complimentary.

"Awww, come on. Go and get a room, old man…" figured among them in a young man's pained tone as he shook his head and pulled back sharply. "Geez…"

"Who's he calling old?" I couldn't help smiling against the softness of Carolyn's lips as I kissed her hard and swiftly before drawing away with true regret.

"Guess…" I heard her quiet, rueful laugh and I knew exactly what she was thinking.

It's just as well we hadn't decided to make out in the roomy back seat of her vehicle. I shook my head. The temptation had been there to throw all caution to the wind and turn back into that young couple who couldn't get another of each other, despite the location.

"What now, Mr Miles?" she asked with feminine laughter alive in her tone.

I felt the immediate loss of her warmth as we both returned reluctantly to our seats. The young people milled around talking and laughing while making gestures at us. They were obviously waiting for us to leave them alone.

I exhaled roughly. "Sadly, I think we should retire to the hotel and leave these young people to their fun. They think we're cramping their style."

"It was fun while it lasted," Carolyn replied, briefly taking my hand before she turned the key in the ignition.

At the car park entrance, we were forced to make way for two more highly decorated vehicles that came hurtling up the dirt road towards us without any regard for safety. There were hoots and calls of derision as they passed us to join their fellows.

"So much for the quietude and majesty of the scenery," I remarked as we returned to civilisation. "I had fancied we could make out and then watch the sunset together."

"We were young like them once," Carolyn replied, shaking her head as we covered the miles more swiftly than we'd arrived.

Silence settled between us, each of us mired in our own thoughts. The hotel carpark was a welcome sight. Carolyn was staying the night, I reminded myself. I would make the most of the time we would have alone together. Tomorrow would be anything we could make of it.

As we parked the Jeep, a sleek black Trans Am slid up beside us unobtrusively. If a car could look lonely and forlorn, Kitt did. The engines on both vehicles cut out simultaneously and the late afternoon silence settled in once more.

"Poor Kitt," Carolyn commented with a wry smile. "He feels he's missing out. I'm sure this trip of ours to Sedona was mostly his bright idea."

"Do not underestimate him." I shook my head. "That car sees and understands more than you will ever know." But I did feel a pang of guilt. I pressed my hand to the commlink in the pocket of my jacket.

"Come on…" Carolyn encouraged, opening her door. "Let's go talk to him. Just for a little while. He must be feeling very lonely, and he will have to sit out here in the cold all night."

"He's not as lonely as I feel right now," I muttered as I opened my door and got out to follow her lead.

I knew I needed to slow things down. For now, Carolyn was relaxed and happy. I couldn't afford to give her cause to put up barriers between us again. I fought back against the tightening needs of my body. I knew there were still things I needed to tell her before this day was over.

Kitt's doors opened immediately, inviting us inside. Carolyn made a small concession as she circled the hood, allowing me the driver's seat. I think she knew I'd had enough of being piloted for one day.

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"Good afternoon," Kitt said as the doors closed behind us. "I was hoping you were still together. That everything is as it should be between you."

I could hear the hopeful expectation in his voice. I glanced at Devon and saw his nod, encouraging me to answer.

"We have settled a few things," I replied carefully. "I think we understand each other better now. But there is still a very long way to go."

"I understand but I am glad. I am so sorry that I came between you that first day when you should have been together after all that time apart. Michael wasn't thinking when he accidentally loaded your personal details into my system. It was a disastrous error on both our parts. And then Durant found us. I cannot say how sorry I am for that. It should never have happened."

I shook my head. "None of what happened afterwards was ever your fault, Kitt. Or Michael's," I soothed. "Certainly not Devon's. He tried so hard to tell me that I couldn't live in his world at FLAG. But I was lost in the past and didn't want to listen until it was too late. It nearly cost me everything."

I felt Devon move uneasily at my confession. But it needed to be said. Our six months apart had given me some much-needed perspective on that dreadful time. I knew now I had been impulsively foolish to think we could ever recover what we'd once had between us. I was no longer that starry-eyed young woman.

"But what about now?" Kitt's tone rose hopefully. "FLAG is firmly in both your pasts, as it is in mine. We have all become quite sedate."

"Now we have to see where this new life will take us," Devon replied quietly. "We have made no promises or impulsive plans. We will take one day at a time."

"Very well…" Kitt sounded unsure. "But you do not have a lot of time," he worried. "You both are also here for other reasons."

"We have fourteen days," I replied without thinking. "It'll be enough time."

I gasped as I caught my bottom lip between my teeth. I realised what I'd just said. I could feel the sudden tension in Devon as he turned his head to study me closely with an intense look that made me tremble. I'd just made a rash concession to stay beyond the single night I'd promised him I would.

My heart rate picked up with a heady mix of expectation and trepidation. I felt suddenly breathless. I shook my head ruefully. Now who's going too fast?

I couldn't commit to staying for two weeks and risk seeing Devon every day. If he decided to stay here as well. That would be impossible. It would take a toll on me emotionally. Kitt was right, we were both here for other reasons.

My cheeks warmed. I tried to retrieve the situation before it got out of hand. I frowned as I opened my mouth to take back my impulsive words. But Devon beat me to it with a fresh confession of his own that took my breath away.

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