Chapter Eighteen

A Bright New Knight

I stood beside the huge grill in the large outdoor kitchen next to Michael's backyard pool and watched Carolyn charm all the assembled members of the Knight Investigations team. RC and I had been put in charge of the barbequed meal while Carolyn and Bonnie had attended to everything else as they chattered while laying the table with cutlery and napkins before bringing out more food.

The warm evening was dark and filled with stars, along with the ever-present smell of the ocean below the house. A full moon floated serenely overhead. Lanterns had been lit around the pool and backyard area. Kitt had joined us and was playing soft music through his system. The night could not have been more perfect.

RC eased closer to me at the grill, lowering his voice. "Say, do you remember that old acquaintance of yours from a few years back, Senator Maggie Flynn?" he asked as he turned the steaks. "As I recall, she was on the board of trustees at FLAG and had her fingers in quite a few other pies."

"Of course, I remember her…" I frowned at him. "I haven't seen or heard from her in years. Why do you ask?"

RC shrugged, his dark eyes assessing me closely. "Rumours were swirling back then that you'd found a few discrepancies and opened a case file on her a few months before you resigned from FLAG. Something about her diverting state funds for her own pet projects."

"There were some irregularities in the books that had been brought to my attention," I replied slowly. "I was intending to ask the senator about them in person when I found the time. But she kept ducking my phone calls and then I handed in my resignation. If I remember correctly, Maggie was very keen to action it immediately."

"Well, it seems old Angus Jones has found your file and pushed the board to do a full investigation. Seems the rumours were true and Maggie Flynn's now facing a five to ten stretch in San Quentin. A lot of her opponents are breathing easier."

"It seems to me that confounded Jones has far too much time on his hands," I replied shortly. "But Maggie always was a law unto herself and didn't like being told no. She was far too headstrong and now she's paying the price for bending the rules to suit herself."

"Sorry, Devon." RC shrugged. "Just thought you should know what's been going down. I'm glad we're all not at FLAG anymore. I'm really happy that you found Carolyn again. She's one neat lady."

"Thank you and yes, she is…" I clasped his shoulder. "But my knowing about such old news now changes nothing for Maggie Flynn or FLAG. Jones is now free to take it in whatever direction he wants and with Maggie gone, I doubt there's anyone left there to stop him. The rest of the board is firmly in his hip pocket because they love nothing more than a good round of budget cuts that fatten their fees. I can only hope that one day he falls flat on his smug face."

I smiled grimly as I relished the satisfying vision of a defeated Angus Jones being dragged away in handcuffs from my old desk at FLAG HQ. Then I felt again the deep sense of relief it was all far behind me now and I was free of that very expensive gilded prison where I'd spent the better part of the last thirty-five years.

I glanced up at the star-spangled sky. Somehow, somewhere, I knew Wilton Knight was watching over all of us and approved of my renewed relationship with Carolyn. I felt he was happy for me. I nodded toward the bright full moon and sent him a silent thank you.

"Here, let me take that…" Michael distracted my frowning attention as he tried to prevent his wife from overdoing it by carrying a tray of dishes from the house. "You go and sit down. You look worn out."

"Thanks, but I'm all right…" Stevie sighed. She'd managed what she could but was shooed away by the other two women who also told her to sit down.

Now that Stevie was beyond eight months pregnant, she complained she'd lost sight of her feet weeks ago. "I know they're still down there somewhere." She sighed as she lowered herself awkwardly onto a poolside lounger and lay back.

Carolyn replied soothingly, "I can promise you that you will find them again. You'll forget all about this side of things once your baby is born and you hold him or her in your arms. Then it will all have been worth it and more. You'll see."

She glanced across at me and I saw the look of regret in her eyes that we were not together when our son had been born. I nodded my understanding as I watched her kneel beside Stevie's lounger to continue calming her concerns. It was a pleasure to watch her take charge in her quiet way, making sure Stevie still felt useful and less of a burden.

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"Carolyn…"

I frowned as I came slowly awake, wondering if I'd dreamed that someone had just called my name. I lay listening to the dreaming silence of the house. I could hear the restless ocean waves in the distance. Maybe that was what had awakened me, being unused to the sound of the lapping waters.

I sighed and stretched. It had been a wonderful evening full of laughter and stories. After a delicious meal and several rounds of cocktails, we'd all gone to bed before midnight, and I'd fallen asleep almost instantly.

I turned my head to stare at the bedside clock and saw the time was now barely four o'clock in the morning. "It must have been a dream…" I finally decided with a shrug as I rolled back onto my side and pulled the covers up.

"Carolyn…" The voice came again, more urgently this time, and then someone knocked softly on my bedroom door. "Carolyn, are you awake?"

My confusion deepened as I recognised Michael's voice. And he sounded worried. I pushed myself up in the bed. "Yes, I'm awake," I called softly. "You can come in."

I folded back the bedcovers and reached for my dressing gown as Michael entered the room. He looked harassed and deeply worried.

"What is it?" I asked, getting to my feet and belting up my robe.

"It's Stevie," he said quickly. "She thinks she may be having contractions. But she isn't sure. She worries it might just be indigestion from dinner." He ran a distracted hand up and around the back of his neck. "I've been to some classes, but I'm next to useless about these things. Can you come and see her?"

"Of course," I said immediately. "Show me the way."

The long, wide hallway outside my door led from the guest rooms to the master suite at the far end. One of the double doors stood open and as soon as I entered, I saw Stevie sitting up against a bank of pillows in a massive bed. She had both hands laid over the rounded swell of her abdomen. Her lovely face was pale with anguish and her eyes were tear bright.

"No, no…" I said immediately hurrying to the bed to take her hand and sit beside her. "Please don't cry. Everything will be all right." I gave her a quick hug.

"I really hope so…" Stevie whispered, gripping my hand tightly. "I'm sorry we had to wake you. I know it's early, but…"

She looked past me to her husband who was hovering in the doorway, neither in the room nor outside. I turned to look, managing to suppress a smile, knowing most men felt utterly helpless in the face of such mysterious feminine things as having a baby.

I remembered Ian had been next to useless. He'd paced up and down in the hospital corridor outside my room, muttering he wished he'd never been forced to give up smoking. He'd finally been dismissed to the father's waiting room by a couple of impatient nurses.

"Come on, let's get you comfortable," I said as I stood up. "And then we'll monitor your symptoms and see how things are with you."

"Should I telephone for an ambulance?" Michael questioned anxiously.

"No, I don't think we'll need to do that," I replied, settling Stevie more comfortably among her pillows. "It may still only be a case of indigestion. Time will soon tell."

"Oh, I do hope it's that. It's too early for this baby to be born," Stevie said then, taking my hand again and holding it even tighter. "I'm barely into my final month."

I shook my head as I soothed a hand across her damp brow. "I'm afraid you'll find that babies arrive when they're good and ready or when we least expect them. Not one of my three was on time. And all were healthy with ten fingers and toes."

I could see my air of calm certainty was beginning to have a positive effect on her. I turned back to the anxious father who was still hovering in the doorway. "Go and make us some of that herbal tea Stevie likes. None of us are going to get any more sleep tonight."

"All right…" Michael's face brightened with a simple task he could perform. "I'd better go wake up Devon. He'll want to know what's going on."

"If you feel you need the company," I said as I tucked and tidied Stevie's covers. "We're fine here, for now."

I sat down on the side of the bed again as I watched him leave the room with his wide shoulders braced. He looked as if he was going into battle, and I couldn't help but feel sorry for him. Men often felt powerless in the face of this most fundamental fact of life.

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"What do you need?" I asked Carolyn from the open doorway.

Michael had woken me with the urgent news, and I'd hurried to dress while he went off to make the tea. I heard him down in the kitchen, talking to himself as he clattered about. I could feel his deep concern.

Carolyn turned from the bed and held out one hand toward me. "I need your watch…"

"All right…" I stepped into the shadowed room, unstrapping the watch from my wrist before handing it to her. "Is there anything else?"

"Please keep Michael as calm as you can," she replied, as she studied my timepiece before managing to set the stopwatch to zero. "There…" She turned back to Stevie and settled beside her again to place one hand on the younger woman's abdomen.

"Can do," I replied, hearing Michael coming back up the stairs.

I could only marvel at Carolyn's air of calm authority. She didn't seem at all perturbed by being woken at such an early hour for a complicated task. I knew I could contribute nothing more than moral support.

"Here we are…" Michael came into the room, carrying a tray of a teapot and cups. It rattled slightly and beneath his deep tan, his face had paled to ashen.

"Let me take that," I offered, taking the tray and indicating a nearby chair. "Go and sit down over there." I hoped he wasn't about to pass out on me.

"How'd you get to be so calm all of a sudden?" he demanded to know, even as he did as I asked and slumped into the chair. "You haven't got any kids. I'm a bag of nerves."

I exchanged glances with Carolyn who shook her head as she continued to monitor the stopwatch in her hand and counted silently.

"Because I'm old enough to be your father," I said to Michael as I put the tray down and poured the tea into the cups. "With age comes experience." I smiled wryly. "And a lot of grey hairs."

I handed the cup to him. "Drink this will it's hot. It'll help settle your nerves."

He took the cup without further complaint, but it rattled in his hand. He pulled a discontented face and put the cup aside. "Well, I've faced down all sorts of bad people and tons of dangerous situations when I was a cop and then with FLAG…" He sighed. "Why does this feel so different? Why do I feel so damned useless?"

"Because this is all new and it's very personal," Carolyn replied gently, looking up from my watch. "And it seems this baby of yours is suddenly impatient to be born. It has already moved into the right position."

She turned to Stevie who was watching her with wide eyes. "I can tell you it most certainly isn't indigestion. Your contractions are now regular at ten minutes apart."

"But it's too soon…" Stevie whispered, shaking her head as if she couldn't take it all in.

"Well, I'm afraid this baby disagrees," Carolyn replied with calm certainty. "Now we need to get you up and dressed. Then Devon and I will drive you to the hospital."

"I'm not staying here!" Michael shot out of his chair. "I'm coming too," he said in a defiant tone.

"Of course, you are." Carolyn nodded calmly. "But you're in no condition to be driving Stevie anywhere. You'll sit in the back seat and give your wife moral support. We'll need directions to the hospital."

"Oh, okay…" Michael looked confused and I couldn't help but feel sorry for him.

"Come on," I encouraged, taking his arm. "Let's go and get the car out and bring it around to the front door."

"We won't be long…" Carolyn nodded to me as she pushed back the covers and assisted Stevie to stand up.

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"What's taking them so long?" Michael demanded to know for the hundredth time as he paced the floor of the maternity hospital's waiting room. "It's been ages."

"Babies come in their own time…" I shook my head in sympathy not knowing what else to say.

It had been barely three hours since we'd arrived, and Stevie had been wheelchaired away for an examination. Devon and I exchanged glances, but he didn't comment. There wasn't much we could say to ease the expectant father's nervous pacing.

"I mean, surely they know by now if Stevie's having our baby or not…" Michael turned back to us, spreading his hands wide. "Why aren't they coming to tell us anything? Has something gone wrong?"

Just then a nurse appeared in the open doorway. Her quick glance singled out Michael as the prospective father.

"If you'd like to come with me, Mr Knight," she offered brightly. "Your wife has been making excellent progress and she's asking for you. It won't be long now. So, we'll need to get you gowned up and ready to receive." Her cheerful smile widened.

"Okay, then…" Michael glanced back at us both. "Wish me luck, guys."

Again, he had the look of a man about to go into battle. I couldn't help smiling as I stood up to kiss his cheek. He was so tall he had to bend down to me, and he hugged me briefly.

"You'll be fine," Devon shook his hand. "You've got this. Give Stevie our best."

"Yeah…" Michael replied in a worried tone as he followed the nurse from the room and the door shut behind them.

Devon turned to me. "As long as he doesn't pass out when he gets there. He still looks a bit green."

"He'll be all right." I shook my head in sympathy. "He had a good teacher."

"Was it like this with Edward?" Devon asked gently, taking my arm and encouraging me to sit down next to him. "This endless waiting and pacing?"

I placed my hand over his. "I'm so sorry you missed out on being there for both of us. I would have loved that. Our lives could have been so different if we'd still been together."

"I know…" Devon's breath left him in a rush. "We have so many regrets, you and I." I could see he wanted to say something more before he appeared to change his mind.

"Yes…" I nodded quickly, wondering what he was leading up to. "Remember what I said that night when we had dinner in the hotel back in Sedona? Our past truly is a foreign country, and we can't go back to the way things should have been. We can't change a single thing of what happened no matter how much we wish we could."

"Yes, I know…" Devon shook his head. "I agree that we can't go back to the way things might have been between us. But we are both free to go forward. If that's what you want."

"More than anything…" My grip on his hand tightened.

His brow cleared as he regarded me steadily. "We fell in love, and I've never forgotten a single moment of our time together." His gaze captured and held mine. "The voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses…"

"Oh, Devon…" I shivered at his quotation. He knew how much I loved those words and what they had meant all those years ago. "I wish…"

I watched as he rose to his feet to stand looking down at me with all his love and passion burning in his steady blue gaze. He kept possession of my hand. "I know this isn't the time nor the place, but I—"

The door flew open in the middle of whatever he was about to say and a rather dishevelled-looking Michael, dressed in white scrubs, burst into the room. He dragged the medical cap from his dark hair.

Startled by his impetuous return, Devon turned to him, and the intimate moment was lost. I tried not to feel upset that we'd been interrupted. 'This wasn't the time nor the place, but...'

"It's a girl!" the new father announced proudly. "I mean, she's a girl! It all happened so fast! I barely made it into the room and there she was!" He held out his hands close together in front of him. "Such a tiny wee thing. I was so scared I was going to drop her…"

As he tottered slightly, putting one hand to his head, Devon took him by the arm. "That's wonderful news. But you'd better come and sit down here," he encouraged, guiding Michael to a nearby chair.

The younger man slumped into it with a grateful sigh. "I still can't believe it. A brand new Knight."

He turned to smile at me. "Stevie's asking for you." He glanced back at Devon. "For both of you. She'd like to see you."

"Of course…" I stood immediately and took his arm as he got to his feet again. "But you'd better take a few deep breaths first."

"Yeah…" Michael grinned at me like a man who'd just been given the greatest gift in the world.

Then he bent down to pick me up in his arms and hugged me tightly until I almost couldn't breathe. Of course, I didn't begrudge him a second of his total joy.

He put me down and turned to shake Devon's hand strongly as he laughed with relief. Then the three of us left the room together to pay our first visit to the newest Knight.

※※※※※

I had to admit, in my extremely limited experience of babies, young Miss Amanda Knight stood out as the most placid and amiable of newborns. Her demands were simple, and she quickly became a favourite among the Knight Investigations team.

She was tiny and as beautiful as her mother with wide, dark blue eyes which considered me with solemn deliberation every time I looked down at her. I had tried to share my concerns about holding such a precious bundle, but Carolyn was having none of it. At every opportunity, I found myself carrying the baby in my arms after she'd been fed and changed.

Unable to refuse, I quickly fell into the habit of whispering to her in Irish as I cradled her carefully and prayed, I wouldn't drop her. She would often turn her head as if she were listening to every word I said. I found it both confusing and endearing.

Not to be outdone, Kitt would often appear and park beside us whenever we were outside. He would watch us together as he played soft lullabies through his system. It became almost like a competition between us as to who was better at lulling the baby gently to sleep.

As the days went by and turned into weeks, I found I'd come to the point where I didn't want to give her back to her mother whenever Stevie approached me to retrieve her child for changing or feeding.

Three weeks after she had been born, Amanda was christened. To our surprise and delight, Stevie asked Carolyn and I, along with RC and Bonnie, to be her daughter's godparents. Of course, we'd all readily agreed to the lovely request and tried to live up to our new roles.

I was well aware that Carolyn was watching my cautious care of my tiny charge with amused and caring eyes. I wanted to take her in my arms and kiss her senseless. The lack of privacy between us was once more gnawing at me. I could see the same feeling in her eyes every time she looked at me.

On the morning Amanda had been born, I had been on the point of making a heartfelt declaration of love and life-long commitment. I was painfully aware the sterile waiting room of a hospital had not been the right place or the time, but it had felt right and that was what mattered. I longed for the right opportunity and place to finally say the words that had trembled on the end of my tongue.

I was aware time was inexorably running out. London and my upcoming exhibition beckoned and there was a great deal to do to get ready for it. We still had to find a suitable house here in Montecito before we left for England. We'd looked at several from the list that Michael had compiled, but none seemed suitable or the right fit. A deep sense of restlessness had settled in on both of us.

"Maybe the house for us isn't out there right now," Carolyn finally said last night.

"Yes…" I nodded slowly, frowning my discontent with the outcome. "The agent said she has one or two more to show us. If, after those, we still haven't found the right one, we should leave it until we get back from London. Time is running out."

"I agree, but it still feels like unfinished business," Carolyn replied with a sigh. "We can't go on living here forever. That's not fair on Stevie or Michael. They need their own space to get on with their lives with Amanda. The time goes so fast and then they're all grown up."

"I know…" I kissed her temple regretfully. "We'll give it one more try tomorrow and see. Maybe something will show up that will take our breath away."

"I hope so…" Carolyn hugged me. "I do miss being alone with you. I miss what we had back in Sedona. That bearskin rug in front of the fire…"

"I know…" I sighed as I tightened my arms around her. "Me too…"

She pulled back gently to look up at me. "You were going to ask me something that morning when Amanda was born. Before Michael interrupted us with his wonderful news. What was it you wanted to ask?"

I looked down at her, nestled so trustingly against me. I could see in her eyes she wanted me to ask her again. Everything within me said to do it now, but then something cautious also whispered this was not the right time. Not yet…

"Let's see what the agent has for us tomorrow," I replied, chickening out once more. "She might yet surprise us with a gem of a house. Then we'll talk about it."

"All right…" Carolyn moved back into my embrace but I could feel her dissatisfaction with my answer. "But I'm holding you to that."

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