This story contains explicit content and is not suitable for readers under the age of 18.

This story contains exhibitionism, acrobatics, and questionable BDSM ethics. Illegal, dangerous, or plain stupid, don't try this at home unless you know what you're doing. ;-)

Barracks Bunnies is fully written and will be updated regularly. Unfortunately, I can't say at what frequency as I'm currently very busy and don't know when I'll have time to apply the final touches to the chapters.

Three space pods landed in the vast jungle of a faraway planet, each leaving a crater large enough to swallow a neighborhood. One by one, the hatches opened and three humanoid aliens climbed out of their one-person, spherical ships. They were soldiers, clad in armor protecting their torsos, shoulders, and hips. Two of the well-built men were tall, wearing wristguards and boots with only a pair of black briefs covering the essentials. Their shorter leader contrasted their lack of dress by sporting a royal blue jumpsuit underneath his chestplate, finishing his outfit with white boots and gloves.

Eager to get their blood flowing after a lengthy journey, the trio stretched their limbs and monkey-like tails while they took in their unfamiliar surroundings. They found themselves in a green forest richly decorated with brightly colored flowers. Hidden in the dense vegetation, curious critters nipped and squeaked as they studied their mysterious visitors. The soothing murmurs of a stream could be heard in the distance while above them, two suns oversaw the natural world from their throne in the baby blue sky. Peaceful, colorful, and abundant with life, this planet's beauty was nigh unmatched.

After the necessary groans and sighs, the men coiled their tails around their waists, flew out of their craters, and met on the edge of a nearby cliff. One of the tall men, a handsome warrior in his early twenties with white skin and long, black hair, booted the detection device covering one of his eyes - aptly called a 'scouter' - to scan the foreign world's inhabitants.

"So this is planet Gaia, huh? What a scenic little place," he spoke in his hoarse voice.

*Beep beep beep*

As his scouter presented its readings, the man grunted disappointedly. "Great, a bunch of weaklings."

The tallest of the group, a bald man with a thin mustache and twice the age of his companions, agreed with a bored sigh. "Another lousy job. Frieza's going too easy on us if you ask me. All this sitting and traveling without exertion makes me itchy." He slammed his fist into his palm. "I could use something that can take a pounding."

The long-haired man ran his fingers through his unkempt mane as he peered at the oblivious Gaians busying themselves in the village below. "Then you're in luck, Nappa because it seems like we find ourselves on a planet with humanoids for change." He glanced over his shoulder with a salacious grin. "Do you know what that means, boys?"

"Yes! Titties and ass, Raditz!" Nappa boomed enthusiastically as he held up his palm.

Raditz high-fived his comrade as the shortest of the trio stepped forward. The young man, also in his early twenties and sporting a black, spikey hairdo, peered at the villagers and spoke in his sharp but surprisingly low voice, "About time we got a proper meal. A diet of fruit and bugs was making me weak. True saiyans need meat to sustain themselves."

Raditz rolled his black saiyan eyes at his commander. "What a weird way to say 'pussy', Vegeta."

Vegeta scoffed. "Shut up." He tapped his scouter to get a read of his own. Raditz was right. The Gaians had weak battle powers and were, to his chagrin, low in numbers and widely scattered. "We're splitting up." He turned to his men. "You know the drill; job first, tits later. We only have to acquire that stupid trinket for Frieza which is most likely kept in a secure area. Please tell me you two remember what it looks like?" Both men nodded. "Good." He crossed his arms. "Nappa, scour the largest settlements and see if you can uncover the locations of the treasuries on this dump. Raditz," Vegeta pointed at the villagers, "question these morons about the device and its possible whereabouts. Use your words, fists, whatever, I don't care how you do it, just get them to talk. Then find us a decent tavern and send us the coördinates. We all report at that joint in ten hours sharp."

"Yes, sir," both men confirmed.

Vegeta continued. "I'm going to pay a visit to the royal palace. My father kept his valuables close and experience taught me other royalty are no different. If I'm lucky, we could wrap up this nonsense quickly." He turned back to oversee the village, staring at the Gaian men and women scurrying about. "Remember, we're only here to acquire that trinket, so keep the destruction to a minimum lest you accidentally destroy our objective. If you two dumbasses put some effort in, this shouldn't take long and we can spend the rest of our time here fucking around." Without parting words, Vegeta ignited his aura and flew off into the distance.

"Well, you heard the boss," Nappa said. Glancing sideways, he shot his comrade a warning glare. "Raditz, if Vegeta or I find you test-driving the local women instead of interrogating them, AGAIN, only two pods will leave this planet."

Raditz chuckled confidently. "We both know that threat is as empty as your head, you big bald idiot."

"What did you just say!?"

"I'm saying; without me, you wouldn't get laid, ugly."

Nappa turned toward Raditz and clutched his armor, yelling in his face, "I'M YOUR GENERAL! So you will treat me with respect, WORM!"

"Or what?" Raditz taunted.

Nappa's mouth cracked into an unsettling grin. "Or I will piss in your canteen, squirt."

Raditz barked out a hearty laugh. "Your dick's too fat for that and there's no way you can aim that well."

"Now you've done it!" Nappa reared his fist to prepare a punch, but before it could connect with Raditz's jaw, Vegeta's voice bellowed through their scouter's transmitters. *WHAT THE BLAZES DO YOU TWO IDIOTS THINK YOU'RE DOING!?*

"Teaching our clown a lesson in respect, boss," Nappa instantly replied.

An exasperated groan sounded through the devices. *JUST SHUT UP AND GET TO WORK!*

The men exchanged docile glances and simultaneously replied, "Yes, sir…"

Nappa released Raditz's armor and poked him in his chest. "Drinks are on you tonight, runt." He lit his aura and took off.

Raditz shook his head. "Stuck-up pricks. Both of them." He jumped off the cliff and landed among the crowd in the village below, ready to start today's work.

.

Ten hours later…

Raditz dumped the contents of his tray on the large, round table he had 'borrowed' from some Gaians after 'negotiating' with them. The first part of his mission may not have been successful, but he did manage to find a tavern on the scarcely populated planet. He tossed the empty tray over his shoulder and studied the edibles he brought. "This joint may be shabby, but the food seems decent." He sat on the bench against the wall and tried some of the meat. "Hm, not bad at all." As he leisurely chewed his meal, he looked around the bar. Like everything on this planet, it was solely made of wood and the indoors were as hot as the outdoors. The ill-lit venue was decently large and crammed with as many chairs, benches, and tables as could possibly fit. And, on top of that, it was crowded. Very crowded. Unsurprising, given that this was the only tavern in a wide area.

A group of Gaian men glared at the alien warrior, boldly giving him dirty looks from a 'safe' distance. Raditz ignored his valiant audience as he grabbed another piece of meat and absently took a bite. He gazed at the crowd clumped around the bar, pestering the barkeep for more booze. Their noisy disposition aside, the Gaians' elegant appearance matched their fairy-tale planet perfectly. With skin a dark mossy green, bright blue eyes, lustrous silver hair, and graceful eyelashes longer than a cat's whiskers, these people were a sight to behold. Adapted to the warm climate, they adorned their slender physiques with skirts and dresses made of delicate strings of shimmering, metallic beads, leaving their small, cotton-like undergarments shamelessly exposed. Raditz smirked, enjoying the fact that these people had yet to invent bras.

After finishing his second helping of meat, Raditz inspected one of the funny-looking fruits he presumed was native to this planet's forests. Long, curved, and an interesting shade of yellow, he sniffed its leathery husk. "Smells sweet. I guess the good stuff must be inside." He rotated the mysterious fruit before his eyes, looking for a way to open it. When he failed to find a non-violent method, he opted for the barbaric approach and smashed the uncooperative crop on the table, causing the pulp to splatter over his arm and chestplate. "Urg, weakling plant." Genetically curious, he tried some of the goo. "Hmpf, at least the stupid thing is tasty."

Something giggled across the table. Raditz looked up, noticing a young woman snickering at his mess. He slowly eyed her up and down. Like all Gaians, the girl was scrawny; unhealthy by saiyan standards. Yet, that flaw was easily compensated by those enchanting blue eyes mirthfully reflecting the dancing flames of the venue's lanterns. Her dress jingled as she guided her long sterling waves over her shoulders, framing her elegant visage. With a seductive smile gracing her full, ebony lips, she coyly asked, "Do you need some help with your banana, sir?"

Banana? Raditz tore his gaze away from the beauty to consider the mangled peel of the ex-phallic-shaped fruit on the table. Moments later, his mouth set into a libidinous grin as he returned his stare to the young lady.

"Yes, I could use a little help with my …banana."