Thank You, Heavenly
Theme Song: "Let It Roll" by Divide the Day
SEASON 10
EPISODE 6
Air Date: October 27, 2024
"I, Truman"
Special Guest Stars: Larisa Oleynik as Denise, Shane Johnson as Officer Shanahan, Sung Kang as Officer Park
#TYH1007
COLD OPEN
The MacDougal Household
Interior Living Room
Seattle, Washington
Sparky, dressed as Beetlejuice, looks in the mirror as he gets ready for Halloween. Santa's Little Helper hisses at the sight of Sparky and runs away.
SPARKY: It's just a costume, Santa!
Sparky sighs and shakes his head. RK, Wade, and Jaylynn all walk in at the same time with matching Beetlejuice costumes.
SPARKY (CONT.): Are you kidding me?
RK: What? You said in the Zoom meeting that we were all going as Beetlejuice. I thought that was the joke.
SPARKY: No, I said I was going as him, not you guys. We're all supposed to have different costumes.
WADE: I wasn't in the meeting, so that was never communicated to me.
JAYLYNN: Yeah, RK told me something completely different. Remember, I was tired and I didn't feel like being in the meeting?
SPARKY: I remember. I swear, this is why we don't have a group chat.
WADE: I think this is why we should have a group chat.
Buster walks in, dressed as professional wrestler Cody Rhodes in his "American Nightmare" ring gear while also having a replica Undisputed WWE Championship belt wrapped around his waist.
BUSTER: Wait, we were all supposed to be Beetlejuice? Dammit, I ruined the joke.
SPARKY: You didn't ruin anything, you listened. RK, in the future, be more like Buster. There's nothing wrong with opening your ears.
RK: Dude, you were drinking your apple juice and you told me and Buster-
SPARKY: Whatever you think I told you is not what I told you. Let me just get my keys so we can go.
Sparky goes to the desk to get his car keys when Bitch Clock walks downstairs and sees everybody's costumes.
BITCH CLOCK: The f*** are you guys dressed like Candyman for?
SCENE 1
(The hook to "Premonition (Intro)" by Eminem plays in the background, followed by just the instrumental)
Dissolve into a graveyard at night. A murder of crows fly into the graveyard and squawk as they arrive at a line of headstones. The headstones are all engraved with the previous thirteen Halloween episodes of "Thank You, Heavenly," from season one's "Halloween in Seattle" to season eight's "Halloween XIII: The Unauthorized Tales." The crows squawk among themselves and notice a fourteenth headstone in the line, but it has no words on it. The crows look confused and scratch their heads while shrugging. The crows see lightning, hear thunder, then fly away immediately.
Lightning strikes the fourteenth headstone, which now reads "I, Truman - 10.27.2024" in blood. Fade to black.
SCENE 2
George Meyer High School
Interior Hallway
Seattle, Washington
Fade in. KG, Rodney, and Trevor are by their lockers.
RODNEY: How did you forget I was in the bathroom?!
TREVOR: I don't know. I can't remember everything. How come you didn't prepare for me to come in there?
RODNEY: Because you don't expect someone to go in the bathroom when you're using it. Who knows what you saw?!
TREVOR: I glanced for two seconds. You probably wanted me to look, you pervert.
KG: Trevor, did you ever think about smoking less weed and taking more Vitamin D?
TREVOR: I only take vitamins when I have a toothache. If I take them every day, I'll overdose and die.
RODNEY: Those are prescriptions, not vitamins.
TREVOR: My doctor doesn't feel the same way you do.
Denise walks up to the guys.
DENISE: Hey guys. You ready for your group projects?
KG: What group projects?
DENISE: Mr. Bailey is-
BULLY #1 (O.S.): Hey. Slam.
TRUMAN (O.S.): What?
KG and his friends watch as a bully shoves Truman against the lockers. His partner is standing next to him.
BULLY #1: I said to slam, now, pay attention next time.
BULLY #2: How could he not pay attention? Look at that dome piece.
BULLY #1: I know, it's f***ing enormous. How many chromosomes are you missing?
TRUMAN: Not as many as you Neanderthals.
BULLY #1: Hmmm, funny. How about I fix that real quick?
Before the bully can punch Truman, KG steps up to him.
KG: Hey, that's enough. Leave the boy alone.
BULLY #2: Stay out of this, freshman.
KG: I'm a sophomore. How about you guys go back to 1993 and take your tired-ass bully shtick with you?
BULLY #1: What's he talking about?
BULLY #2: I don't know, but he's ruining the fun.
BULLY #1: What do you say we catch Luis outside gym and give him a swirlie?
BULLY #2: You're the man.
The bullies laugh and run away. KG adjusts Truman's shirt.
KG: You okay? They got you?
TRUMAN: No, it happens all the time. I just never had anybody step in for me.
KG: Don't worry about it. Keep your head up.
TRUMAN: Will do.
Truman salutes KG and KG gives him the thumbs up as he walks back to his friends.
DENISE: KG, that was awesome.
RODNEY: Yeah, you were like a tenth grade vigilante or something.
KG: Well, you know how it is. Somebody needs to be there for the little guy.
TREVOR: Could the little guy be a friend of yours?
KG: Of course. Who's giving you a hard time, Trev?
TREVOR: My Spanish teacher Ms. Gonzalez. You think you could teach her a little lesson?
DENISE: Trevor, you want KG to beat up a 45-year-old woman?
TREVOR: Of course not. I'm not Diddy. I just want him to threaten her. Maybe she'll ease up on my homework.
KG: I don't think that can be arranged, man.
TREVOR: So, you're saying there's a chance?
KG gives Trevor a bored expression.
SCENE 3
George Meyer High School
Interior Mr. Bailey's Classroom
Seattle, Washington
Mr. Bailey is at the front of the class, and he has "Group Projects" written on the whiteboard in green marker.
MR. BAILEY: Alright, guys, it's time to assign partners for your projects. Remember that your objective is to create a product that benefits climate change awareness. Think of it like Shark Tank, except I make way less than Mark Cuban and I think the Mavericks are trash.
Cut to Rodney and Denise.
DENISE: I don't get it. Why does he keep talking about Mark Cuban?
RODNEY: I think he's just happy he made money off the Celtics.
Cut back to Mr. Bailey.
MR. BAILEY: Now, the partners will be as follows: Katie and Clayton, Yusef and Brian, KG and Truman...
KG: Truman? Who the hell is that?
TREVOR: You don't know Truman? I love Truman. If you don't know Truman, you're pouring jelly on yourself.
KG: Trevor, do you know who Truman is?
TREVOR: Yes. Jim Carrey, duh.
KG: The kid in the class named Truman, not the damn movie.
TREVOR: Oh. Well, I know him, too. He's that weirdo that sits in the back of the class. Barely says anything, always has the same hoodie on.
KG: Wait a minute.
KG turns his head and sees that Truman is the same kid he helped out earlier.
KG (CONT.): That's the kid from earlier they were picking on.
TREVOR: Yeah, I know.
KG: So, you knew who Truman was the whole time and you didn't tell me?
TREVOR: I forgot. You know why I forgot? Lack of communication. You think Biden has anything to do with that?
KG: I think Biden believes in taking your Vitamin D.
KG taps Trevor's shoulder and goes to the back of the class to sit down next to Truman.
KG (CONT.): Hey Truman. Truman, right?
TRUMAN: Yes. Truman Blatsky, to be precise. You're the kid from earlier.
KG: The very same. You're a last name guy?
TRUMAN: Of course. I like formal introductions. Don't you?
KG: No, because saying my full name all the time is exhausting as f***. I'm KG.
TRUMAN: Oh, you're KG. I'm aware of your work. Your reputation precedes you.
Beat.
KG: Are you wearing a wire? Why are you talking like that?
TRUMAN: Like what? You're the comedic mastermind I keep hearing about, right?
KG: Look, when you speak, you...really? Comedic mastermind? I mean, pffft, I'm alright, I'm doing my routines and the training and whatnot, but I wouldn't say I'm a mastermind. If you want to say that, I don't mind, but...you know.
TRUMAN: I'm not sure if I do. Anyway, the climate change project. Do you have any ideas?
KG: Not a damn thing. If you're willing to carry me through this, I'll give you my next paycheck.
TRUMAN: Pish posh, nobody's carrying anybody. If we do this, we're going to put in the same effort. First class all the way.
KG: We could start in first class, but I guarantee you that this project will land us in coach.
SCENE 4
George Meyer High School
Interior Hallway
Seattle, Washington
KG and his friends leave the class.
DENISE: So, Trevor, I think we should meet at my place.
TREVOR: Why? I'm at your place all the time. We should meet at my place.
DENISE: You're never at my place. And every time I go to yours, it smells like rolling papers.
TREVOR: Denise, we're doing an assignment. Focus on what matters, not the smell.
RODNEY: So, K, are you still coming over tonight?
KG: No, I have to start working on my project with Truman. He said the earlier we start, the earlier we finish.
DENISE: Who's Truman?
KG: Truman. Truman Blatsky? He's been in our class for months now?
DENISE: Doesn't ring a bell. Wait a minute, is he that guy that wears a necklace full of condoms?
KG: No, they arrested him. It's weird, though. He didn't know who I was, but he knew I did comedy. How does that make sense?
TREVOR: Maybe he hired a private investigator and he's waiting for the right time to kill you.
DENISE: Trevor, the hell?
KG: No, the kid might have a point. Look at Rebecca Schaeffer.
RODNEY: Who's that, one of the seniors?
KG: No, she...whatever. Look, I'm going to keep my eye on Truman. He seems okay, but he has to prove that I can trust him.
TREVOR: And if you can't trust him, knife him up real quick. Just take a knife from the kitchen and slice him up until he's begging for his mom.
DENISE: Yeah. We're meeting at my place one hundred percent.
SCENE 5
The Jennings Household
Interior KG's Bedroom
Seattle, Washington
After school, KG opens the door to his room and Truman enters.
KG: Well, this is my living space. My man cave, my castle of tranquility, if you will.
TRUMAN: What makes it a castle of tranquility?
KG: I don't know, I just like throwing words together sometimes. So, I'm guessing we'll do half the project here and half at your place?
TRUMAN: Maybe we should do it all at my place.
KG: Really? You don't want to be somewhere besides your own house for once?
TRUMAN: Um...I don't know. I never had anybody invite me to their quarters.
KG: Well, I'm inviting you to mine. We're partners, we should work together anywhere.
TRUMAN: Wow. I admire your geniality, KG. Thank you.
KG: You're welcome. And when I figure out what geniality means, I'll appreciate it even more. Let's get to work, hmmm?
TRUMAN: Yeah. Let's get to work.
Truman has a big smile on his face as he sits down and looks at KG, who starts to type on his computer.
SCENE 6
The Jennings Household
Interior Living Room
Seattle, Washington
That night, KG and Truman watch TV and eat cheeseburgers.
TRUMAN: So, in addition to your hospitality skills, you have culinary skills? Incredible.
KG: Yeah, I've always had a love for cooking things. When I was four, I had an Easy Bake Oven. They said it was for girls, but I didn't care. I wanted it, I got it, and I was the best at it. That's just how I roll.
TRUMAN: I wish we had met sooner. So many people in our school are awful. They don't know what it means to be decent anymore.
KG: You're telling me. That's why I keep my circle small. I have my girlfriend, my buddies, and...maybe two or three work friends I smoke with. Occasionally, and only on payday.
TRUMAN: It's okay. We all have our vices. We all need our vices.
KG: What do you have? You read too much?
TRUMAN: Nope. Porn.
KG: Oh.
TRUMAN: Yeah, I keep an organized collection of various types of...pornographic material.
KG: Yup. Been there.
TRUMAN: When you're organized, you're centered. That's just how I roll.
KG: True. Just so we're clear, food doesn't factor into your collection, does it?
TRUMAN: Of course not. Getting turned on by food? That's the devil's work.
KG: Thank God.
RK walks in with a sleeping bag and a look of disappointment.
KG (CONT.): I thought you had a sleepover with Wade.
RK: No, he cancelled. I told you that already.
KG: When?
RK: I texted you and told you I was on my way back home.
KG looks at his phone and sees the text.
KG: Oof. Sorry, man, I was busy hanging out with Truman.
RK: Truman?
TRUMAN: That would be me, young buck.
RK: I thought I knew all of KG's friends. Put her there, Truman.
RK and Truman shake hands.
RK (CONT.): Wow, nice grip. Not many people know how to shake hands anymore.
KG: Well, he gets a lot of practice.
RK: What?
KG: Nothing.
TRUMAN: I take it you're KG's younger brother. Mercurial, TV-obsessed, constantly creating elaborate schemes when faced with a troublesome situation?
RK: That's my whole thing! How did you know?
KG: Yeah, I barely told you about RK.
TRUMAN: I do intel on the people that come into my orbit. Nothing wrong with a good vetting process.
RK: I like the cut of this guy's jib. Make yourself at home.
RK walks upstairs.
TRUMAN: That's a good kid.
KG: I had a feeling you two would hit it off. Hey, since you met RK, how about meeting the rest of the gang?
TRUMAN: Really? You would feel comfortable having me talk to your girlfriend and close pals?
KG: Of course. You're surprised?
TRUMAN: No, I've just never had anybody want to introduce me to anyone.
KG: Well, that stops now. You can use that intel stuff to freak them out. It will be hilarious.
Beat.
TRUMAN: I bet it will.
Truman nods his head as him and KG continue eating their burgers.
SCENE 7
George Meyer High School
Interior Lunchroom
Seattle, Washington
The next day, KG and the gang are at the lunch table.
TREVOR: What if I don't feel like it?
KG: Then I'll bash your face in with a cast iron skillet and make you feel like it.
Beat.
KG (CONT.): I'm just kidding, it's not that serious. But I do want all of you guys to meet him.
RODNEY: I don't know, K. Truman seems kinda...off. His energy is weird to me.
KG: You can say that about anybody, Rodney. You hated Trevor when you first met him.
TREVOR: It's true. You almost punched me in the face.
RODNEY: I did punch you in the face.
TREVOR: No, you're not remembering. You tried to, I blocked the punch, and then I gave you the ass-whooping of a lifetime. After that, you had no choice but to respect me.
RODNEY: You're high, that never happened. KG, tell him that never happened.
KG: Whatever the note said. That's my answer.
DENISE: It wouldn't be the worst idea to meet Truman. Maybe he could be part of the group.
RODNEY: Denise, don't put that energy in the air. I already have a hard time managing Trevor.
TREVOR: If we fought now, I think I would win again.
RODNEY: You didn't win the first time!
KG: How about this? You guys meet Truman, you hobnob with him and shit, and as a reward, I referee your next fight.
RODNEY: Sounds fair.
TREVOR: I love it.
DENISE: What's my reward?
KG: An enchanted evening with the finest man in Seattle, and you're looking at him.
DENISE: That's no fair, I want a real reward.
KG gives Denise a bored look, who responds with a cheesy grin.
SCENE 8
The Jennings Household
Interior Living Room
Seattle, Washington
KG opens the door to let his friends in while Truman sits on the couch.
KG: Howdy do, guys? Truman Blatsky, the man of the hour. Truman? The guys. The guys? Truman. This feels like a moment to me.
RODNEY: Maybe post an IG story about it.
KG: I just might. Alright, Truman, my girlfriend Denise.
TRUMAN: Indeed, the studious, slightly unhinged girlfriend. You're even more beautiful in person.
Truman kisses Denise's hand.
DENISE: I don't know what to respond to first.
KG: Truman does intel on everybody he meets. He knows who you are before you know who you are.
RODNEY: I guess we know who stalks who on IG.
TREVOR: Who's the stalker?
Rodney gives Trevor an annoyed look.
KG: Next up, we have Trevor.
TRUMAN: Ah. The idiot with a heart of gold, weed enthusiast, very opinionated and blunt. No pun intended.
TREVOR: It's okay, man, people call me slow all the time.
Truman simply looks at KG.
KG: Once you meet Trevor, you'll never forget him. And last but not least, Big Rodney.
RODNEY: What's up, man?
TRUMAN: Yes, um...your name is Rodney. That much I do know.
RODNEY: That's it? Your intel didn't pick up anything else about me?
TRUMAN: No, not that I recall. Wait a minute, it did pick up something else.
RODNEY: There you go.
TRUMAN: You have a girlfriend. How's Beth doing?
RODNEY: She's doing fine. My girlfriend Beth is doing fine. I'm Rodney and I have a girlfriend.
Beat.
KG: How about we order some pizza and get this show on the road?
SCENE 9
The Jennings Household
Exterior Entrance
Seattle, Washington
KG waves his friends goodbye as they leave.
KG: See y'all later.
KG closes the door. The guys continue to walk towards Denise's car.
DENISE: That guy sucks. Why was he asking me about my shampoo?
TREVOR: Because you reek of it. I can smell it all the way here.
DENISE: I'm right next to you, and just because he said you were blunt, doesn't mean you have to be.
TREVOR: I'm sorry. It's a reflex. Maybe I'm sick.
RODNEY: We all know you are. What I'm trying to figure out is why I have no personality. I'm a piece of white bread dipped in plain yogurt.
TREVOR: Ewww.
DENISE: Rodney, it's okay. It's just Truman's intel. It doesn't mean anything.
RODNEY: Yeah, it does. I'm Rodney and I have a girlfriend. That's my legacy.
TREVOR: I wish I had a girlfriend. Not just some friend that comes to my house and spits on me whenever I ask her.
Denise and Rodney look at Trevor with wide eyes and get in the car without saying anything,
SCENE 10
The Jennings Household
Interior Living Room
Seattle, Washington
Cut to KG and Truman inside the house.
TRUMAN: I think it went well. Your friends seem to be enamored with me.
KG: Probably, but the more you guys hang out, the closer you'll get.
TRUMAN: Well, time to turn in. I shall retire to the guest room.
KG: Wait, the guest room? You don't want to go home?
TRUMAN: No, that's okay. It's late. Besides, this is a chance for us to spend the night together.
KG: So, what you're saying is that we can stay up late, trade manly stories? And in the morning...I'm making waffles.
TRUMAN: What...what is that? Is that an allusion of some kind?
KG: You can go upstairs, Truman.
TRUMAN: Okay.
Truman goes upstairs while KG looks around with confusion.
KG: I guess I'm having a slumber party.
TRUMAN (O.S.): Hey RK, put her there.
RK (O.S.): Why not?
RK and Truman are heard shaking hands. RK cackles.
RK (O.S.) (CONT.): I swear, the pump action!
KG sighs.
SCENE 11
George Meyer High School
Interior Lunchroom
Seattle, Washington
Denise, Rodney, and Trevor are at lunch.
TREVOR: So, we do other things beyond the spitting, and she's really nice, but you can't take her to the movies. Only Netflix.
DENISE: Why are you telling us this?
TREVOR: You guys asked. I wanted to share my feelings.
RODNEY: We asked you about your new shorts and where you bought them.
TREVOR: And I told you where I bought them, from Target. That's why I moved on to the next topic.
KG and Truman walk to the table.
KG: Hey guys.
TRUMAN: Greetings.
KG's friends look at each other as him and Truman sit down.
DENISE: Uh...Truman. You decided to join us for lunch?
TRUMAN: Of course. I'm one of you guys now. I'm a jock. Maybe I should get a letterman's jacket and toss around the old pigskin, huh?
RODNEY: I don't think anybody in history will ever mistake us for jocks.
KG: Truman's been telling me about his plans for the future.
TREVOR: What kind of plans? Are they sexy?
TRUMAN: Quite vivacious. I'm planning to renovate my woodside cabin in Edmonds so we can all hang out there. We'll do it all. Fishing, jet skiing, the occasional treat that involves chocolate, marshmallows, and graham crackers?
TREVOR: You're making s'mores? Tell me you're making s'mores!
TRUMAN: I'm telling you.
TREVOR: Hell yeah!
KG: Truman, do you have any other friends? Maybe they can come to the cabin with us?
TRUMAN: I've never let anybody see my cabin because I've never had any friends. Thanks to you, I do. And now that we're all a crew, we'll become more popular.
DENISE: I don't see how.
TRUMAN: It's a long-term strategy. Word gets around that I'm with you, people see that this group's intelligence and culture levels have skyrocketed. Pretty soon, the five of us will be running this place.
RODNEY: Dare to dream, Blatsky.
TRUMAN: I'm sorry, what was that?
RODNEY: It was nothing. I'm Rodney and I have a girlfriend. That's all.
TRUMAN: You know what? I'll be back, I need the bathroom.
DENISE: Take your time.
RODNEY: Take all the time.
Truman leaves the table.
TREVOR: KG, do you know if Truman will use small or big marshmallows for the s'mores?
RODNEY: It doesn't matter because we're not going to that cabin. KG, why would you bring him around here?
KG: Hey, I was doing him a favor because of those bullies. I didn't know he would be so...Truman-like.
DENISE: I'm not into him. And he's delusional, too. We hang out once and now, he thinks we're going to take over the school?
TREVOR: Maybe we should think strategy. We use him to take over the school, then we get rid of him once we become popular.
DENISE: No, Trevor, we're not getting popular with him as our friend. He's a net negative to that.
TREVOR: Oh. No cabin party, no s'mores, no street cred. I'm depressed.
KG: Well, I can't have him hang out with you guys anymore. That much, I do know.
RODNEY: Hang out with us? He's gotta go!
KG: What? I should stop hanging out with him?
RODNEY: Yes! Entiende mi hermano?!
KG: I can't hurt the guy's feelings. He was psyched to have friends for once.
DENISE: You don't have to be mean. Just say that he's not respecting our boundaries, and we don't feel comfortable around him. If he doesn't understand that, he's disrespecting you, too.
KG: Alright. That makes sense. I'll talk to him man-to-man and let him know it's over.
TREVOR: Okay, guys, hear me out. What if we bought our own woodside cabin, no Truman, and we partied there? Would you be into that?
DENISE: Yes, Trevor, we would be into that.
TREVOR: Hell yeah! You can get rid of him, KG, I'm straight now.
SCENE 12
Bang Bang Chicken
Interior Booth
Seattle, Washington
("Nail Tech" by Jack Harlow plays over the restaurant's loudspeakers)
KG, dressed in his Fernando's uniform, sits across from Truman. He looks unamused.
TRUMAN: I hear this place has gotten rave reviews. What's the special today?
KG: It's chicken. It's always chicken.
TRUMAN: Huh. Well, nothing like some wings to put hair on your chest, am I right?
KG: Order whatever you want. I'm not staying.
TRUMAN: Why?
KG: Because we can't be friends anymore, man. I'm sorry, but I'm done.
TRUMAN: Oh no. Is it about Rodney? I know he's sensitive, but the intel can't be helped.
KG: It's not about Rodney, it's about all of them. The guys are uncomfortable with you hanging around. And if they're uncomfortable, I'm uncomfortable.
TRUMAN: Oh. So, that's where we're at.
KG: Uh huh.
Beat.
TRUMAN: You think you're better than me?
KG: What?
TRUMAN: You have these great friends and this cotton candy life, and I'm ruining it. I bet you didn't even defend me. You just rolled over like a little bitch so you could continue to convalesce in the lap of luxury.
KG: Lap of luxury? I live in Seattle, not Calabasas!
TRUMAN: Don't play that fake humility shit with me. It's undignified.
KG: You know what? I came here straight from work to settle this like a man. I said my piece. So goodbye, and enjoy your dinner.
As KG gets up and leaves, he pats Truman on the shoulder. Truman has a blank stare on his face that the camera zooms in on.
SCENE 13
Bang Bang Chicken
Exterior Entrance
Seattle, Washington
As KG tries to open his car door, Truman corners him.
TRUMAN: I knew it. I should have known, I...I knew you were going to play me.
KG: What are you talking about?
TRUMAN: You toyed with me. Made me into your little pet project. I thought we were buddies, but...that was something else.
KG: Truman, go back inside before you get hurt. I'm not playing with you.
TRUMAN: Oh, now, you're not playing! Now, the game's over and you're done scoring points! You don't want to play? Well, I do. I play harder than anybody, KG, and I'm not done with you. Not by a long shot.
KG: You're spitting on me, bro, the f***?
KG pushes Truman and Truman pushes back. KG looks disturbed and gets into his car, then speeds off. Truman's intense, trance-like stare immediately disappears and he shakes his head, then slaps himself.
TRUMAN: KG, I'm sorry! It was a joke!
SCENE 14
The Jennings Household
Interior Living Room
Seattle, Washington
KG comes home from work and slams the door. This confuses RK, who yawns as he gets up from the couch.
RK: Are we getting robbed again?
KG: No, it's just me.
RK: You're home early. I thought you would be busy hanging out with Truman.
KG: Why would I? He's not my friend.
RK: But you've been spending a lot of time together. Did you piss him off? Did you try telling him one of your jokes and explaining to him why it's funny? People hate that.
KG: No, okay? Truman's not my friend, he's a psycho. I don't want to talk about him anymore. He's not my friend, bro. He's not my friend.
KG runs upstairs.
RK: He really hasn't been the same since he turned 16.
SCENE 15
George Meyer High School
Interior Lunchroom
Seattle, Washington
KG looks around the cafeteria as the guys stare at him.
DENISE: KG, should I be worried? You're acting a little weird.
TREVOR: Yeah, you look disheveled.
Beat.
TREVOR (CONT.): That's right. I know words that people say.
KG: It's Truman. I think he might be after me.
RODNEY: What makes you say that?
KG: He threatened me last night. Yelled at me, got spit on me and everything.
DENISE: He threatened to hurt you? That's it, I'm killing him. Where's he at?
TREVOR: Wow, Denise is ready to scrap.
DENISE: Nobody threatens my boyfriend and gets away with it. Where is he?
KG: I haven't seen him all day. He probably didn't come to school so he could lay low and plan his next move.
RODNEY: This is bullshit, man. All you did was try and be nice to him, and he turns out to be a psycho.
KG: I know. This is why you should never make new friends. All of them are sick in the head.
TREVOR: You think maybe the cops might know something about Truman? They could stop him if he's planning to assassinate you.
RODNEY: Trev, are you using a word-of-the-day calendar or something?
TREVOR: That's the mystery, isn't it?
KG: I guess I could go down to the station. I have some cops who work for me undercover.
DENISE: Really? You never told me about any cops.
KG: Well, they're undercover. But they do what I say, when I say it. When I tell them to jump, they already know how high.
DENISE: I know you're lying, but yeah, go talk to the cops. And if they can't find Truman, I will.
TREVOR: Maybe Denise is an undercover cop, too. Are you?
DENISE: Depends. Where were you last night at 9:23?
TREVOR: Hey, that wasn't my fault! I didn't know you couldn't put foil paper in the microwave!
Beat.
RODNEY: Trevor, you stupid.
SCENE 16
Seattle Police Department
Interior Hallway
Seattle, Washington
Later that day, KG talks to Officer Shanahan and Officer Park.
KG: Are you kidding me? You guys are my cops, how do you have no information on him?
OFFICER SHANAHAN: First of all, we're not your cops. Second of all, this kid's record is clean. I don't even know if he exists.
KG: Trust me, he exists. He's just another person that went nuts and became obsessed with me.
OFFICER PARK: Are you someone worth obsessing over?
KG: Apparently. Look, you guys need to flood the streets, start training new members. It's only a matter of time before Truman shows up to my door and shoots me in the chest.
OFFICER SHANAHAN: Don't you think you're being a little dramatic? Stalkers have been around since the dawn of time. Maybe come back when you actually have something we can use to burn this kid.
KG: Hmmm, okay, yeah, that makes perfect sense. What would you like, huh? A bullet taken out of my spine, a pool of blood, maybe a severed limb?
OFFICER PARK: I think some blood might do the trick.
OFFICER SHANAHAN: Yeah, we'll both take you seriously if you show up here covered in your own blood.
Beat.
KG: What the f*** is going on with the police these days?!
SCENE 17
The Jennings Household
Interior Living Room
Seattle, Washington
At night, KG reads "Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing" by Matthew Perry when the sound of thunder is heard and the lights go out.
KG (V.O.): Yeah, that's great. Guess the circuit breakers need to be reset...again.
TRUMAN (V.O.): What if I could be of service?
The thunder claps one more time and the lights mysteriously return to reveal Truman in the living room, which prompts KG to scream in horror.
KG: Truman, you son of a bitch, what are you doing in my house?!
TRUMAN: I was worried about you. You're getting so distant these days, it's disturbing.
KG: No, what's disturbing is you showing up here uninvited. I told you I didn't want to hang out with you anymore.
TRUMAN: You did? I don't recall. Maybe you should tell me again so I can memorize this moment.
KG: Truman, I don't want to hang out with you anymore.
TRUMAN: No. I wanna hear it from your lips.
Beat.
KG: Where did you hear it from before?!
TRUMAN: You know, you're yelling way too much. That can't be good for your mental state.
KG: Don't lecture me about mental states. You don't even have one!
TRUMAN: KG, calm down.
KG: No, f*** that and listen to me, punk punk. I don't want to be friends with you. I never wanted to be friends with you. I took pity on you because I didn't like that those guys were bullying you. But you went too far and you took advantage of me. So, why don't you just step off, go home, and never bother me again? Entiende mi hermano?!
Truman slowly removes his glasses, breathes on them, wipes them off, and puts them back on.
TRUMAN: Is this how you honestly feel?
KG: No, not at all. This is how I honestly feel.
KG punches Truman in the face, which knocks him down. KG then tosses Truman out of the house.
KG (CONT.): Now, get out of here before I call the cops.
KG closes the door.
SCENE 18
The Jennings Household
Interior Living Room
Seattle, Washington
KG is back to reading when he looks up and is startled by Truman's return.
KG: What the hell?! I already told you to-
(The instrumental to "Renaissance" by Eminem plays in the background)
Truman pulls out a baseball bat and hits KG in the face with it, leaving him unconscious. Truman then takes a note from the coffee table and writes something on it. He leaves it on the coffee table, ties KG up and drags him out of the house. At this point, blood is dripping from KG's head.
SCENE 19
(The "Renaissance" instrumental continues playing in the background)
With the rain coming down, Truman tosses KG into the trunk of his car and slams it shut. He then gets into the car and drives off into the night. Fade to black.
SCENE 20
The Fletcher Household
Interior Living Room
Seattle, Washington
Fade in. Denise puts books in her backpack to get ready for school when Rodney and Trevor walk in. They both look concerned.
DENISE: Guys, what's going on? Did someone die?
TREVOR: KG might have.
RODNEY: Don't say that, you don't know what happened to him.
DENISE: What happened to KG?!
RODNEY: Relax, we came here to ask you if you heard from him. After school yesterday, he just took off and he never answered his phone.
DENISE: Well, I told him I would give him a ride today, but I haven't went to his house yet.
TREVOR: You mean, you haven't gone to his house yet. Come on, Denise, you know you're supposed to use the past participle.
Beat.
DENISE: I'm really not in the mood right now.
RODNEY: Could you go wait outside? I told you to wait outside and you came in anyway.
TREVOR: Fine. I was just trying to be productive for once.
Trevor groans as he leaves the house.
DENISE: So, what do you think happened to KG? Maybe him and RK are playing detective or something.
RODNEY: No, he would tell us that. He never shuts up about a case. Unless he is one.
DENISE: What are you talking about?
RODNEY: Truman. I bet you he got to KG and that's why we can't get a line on him.
DENISE: That piece of shit, we have to find him. But we don't know where he could be or if he even has KG.
RODNEY: Let's go to the cops. We can file a report and they'll start looking around.
TREVOR (O.S.): We can't go to the cops. They'll just make things worse.
RODNEY: How? How will the cops make things worse?
TREVOR (O.S.): Because of the donuts. They're so fixated on the donuts, they can't focus on anything else.
DENISE: Can you please say things that actually help us?
TREVOR (O.S.): Talk to RK.
RODNEY: Boom. If we get RK on this, we'll find KG in no time.
DENISE: Alright, forget school. Let's go talk to RK.
Denise and Rodney leave the house.
SCENE 21
Truman's Woodside Cabin
Interior Living Room
Edmonds, Washington
KG slowly wakes up on the ground. He is still tied up and has staples in his head from the baseball bat.
KG: What the f***? Where am I? Somebody help!
Truman walks in from another room and claps his hands.
TRUMAN: Congratulations KG. You passed the test. You made it to my beautiful woodside cabin.
KG: Truman, I swear to God, if you don't let me go, I'll-
TRUMAN: Do what? Call me a creep, a weirdo? Roll around on the floor like a pathetic worm? You're tied up, buddy. It's done for you now.
KG: Why the hell would you do this?!
TRUMAN: Hey, don't get spicy with me. I was the one who made sure I closed that wound in your skull. Those 15 staples are a courtesy to you.
KG: And why do I even have 15 staples?!
TRUMAN: Let's not get into semantics, it's a messy activity.
KG: Truman, please. Let me go and we can pretend this didn't happen.
TRUMAN: Actually, let's not pretend. See, because you made me believe in a friendship that was theoretical the whole time. You hung out with me out of sympathy, and when I stopped being your charity case, I lost my appeal. Now, do you really think I can let that slide?
KG: You have no choice. This isn't a movie, dumbass. I have people who are going to miss me if anything happens, including my brother. Now, do you really want to be on my brother's bad side?
TRUMAN: Your brother seems harmless, I'm not concerned.
KG: You should be. If you can't think that far ahead, you should end this now.
TRUMAN: KG, you don't get it. You pretended to be my friend. You crossed me. You made me feel like I was worthless. This isn't going to end when you say it does. You'll be lucky if you make it out of here alive.
KG: You're going to kill me just because I don't want to hang out with you?!
TRUMAN: It's more than that. It's the fact that people like you don't deserve what you have. You have a great job, a nice girlfriend, career prospects, friends and family. But you treat people below you like shit. You tried saving me from bullies, but you're the biggest bully of them all.
KG: Alright, Truman, you win. I'm sorry I went ghost on you. Now, let me go.
TRUMAN: If you thought that awful apology was enough to placate me, you're delusional. It's over, KG. Just accept it.
Truman goes back into the room he came out of as KG breathes heavily through gritted teeth, struggling to find a way to untie himself.
SCENE 22
The Jennings Household
Interior Living Room
Seattle, Washington
RK walks downstairs on the phone.
RK: Look, Wade, it's okay. I'll just hang out here next weekend. Beat. What did I just say? I'll entertain myself. Beat. Yeah, hugs and kisses to Adriana. Not in a creepy way since I'm with Anna, but just out of respect and admiration for a close friend of mine. Beat. You know why I'm like this. Bye.
RK hangs up, sighs, and sits on the couch.
RK (CONT.): Life is real.
Denise, Rodney, and Trevor walk into the living room, confusing RK.
DENISE: Hey RK, do you know where your brother is?
RK: Yeah, him and Truman went on a trip.
RODNEY: Wait, KG told you that?!
RK: Not face-to-face, but he left me this note in case I was worried about him.
RK gives the guys the note.
DENISE: "Sam, the first night at BED when you left..."
RK: You have to flip it over.
Denise flips the note over.
DENISE: "Good morning, little bro. Truman and I are getting along just famously. We decided to take our friendship to new heights by going on a trip to Truman's woodside cabin in Edmonds for the next few days. He's picking up the tab, paying for brand new car seats with fine Corinthian leather, the whole kit and caboodle. Enjoy your weekend, homeboy. Also, don't call or text me at any point because I'm trying to embrace my freak. Toodles."
TREVOR: Haha. Caboodle.
RODNEY: RK, does that sound anything like KG?
RK: A couple words, but now that I'm hearing it a second time, none of it makes sense. Besides, KG told me explicitly that him and Truman weren't friends anymore. Unless they kissed and made up?
DENISE: Or Truman kidnapped your brother and he's going to stab his guts out?!
RK: I know it's the second thing, it's always the second thing! Man, why didn't my instincts kick in? He fooled me.
RODNEY: It's okay, man. None of us thought the guy was a murderer.
TREVOR: I did. I always knew he was wacko.
RODNEY: No, you didn't.
DENISE: No, he's right. When this all started, he said something about Truman wanting to kill KG.
TREVOR: See? I don't say things just to say them. Forget having a sixth sense, I have seven.
RK: Well, now that we know the truth, we have to go to that cabin and save KG.
DENISE: Right. Let's go before it's too late.
RK: Hang on. This is personal. If we're killing the bastard, we're taking him out with extreme prejudice.
RK runs upstairs, confusing the others.
DENISE: What did he mean by that?
TREVOR: Well, he said "prejudice," so maybe we're going to kill Truman by being racist.
RODNEY: Nothing you just said makes any sense.
TREVOR: How's the girlfriend you have?
Rodney growls at Trevor. RK runs back downstairs with his gun, which makes Denise and Rodney scream in horror.
DENISE: Oh my God, is that a gun?!
RK: Well, it's definitely not a knife.
RODNEY: How did you get a gun?!
RK: You're asking too many questions, my brother's about to die!
RK runs out of the house.
TREVOR: I love his energy.
SCENE 23
Truman's Woodside Cabin
Interior Living Room
Edmonds, Washington
Truman walks in on KG and with no warning, kicks him in the back as hard as he can.
KG: Gah! You piece of shit, I'll kill you!
TRUMAN: I mean, I'm going to kill you, so that doesn't really make sense.
KG: Truman, listen to me. You need to end this. Let me go right now and it's over. We don't have to see each other again, I won't turn you in to the cops, I'll act like this never happened.
TRUMAN: That doesn't work for me. We both know what happened. If I run into you at school, I'm always going to remember the day you left me at that chicken shack holding my johnson. It just does not work.
KG: How are you still making yourself the victim? I'm protecting you, you dumb f***!
TRUMAN: You're doing it because you're in danger, not because you care about me. Nobody cares about me. Do you know how many times I've been shoved into lockers? Called slurs, made fun of for the way I dress or my speech patterns? My whole life has been a nightmare. Meanwhile, people like you get everything they desire. You get the nice cars, you get the magazine covers, the gold and the platinum. Everything you've ever had, you lucked into it. Everything I've ever had, I had to work for it.
KG looks confused with his mouth slightly open.
KG (V.O.): This kid needs an institution. Like, yesterday.
TRUMAN: What? Cat got your tongue? No sarcastic quips, no empty threats?
KG: No. I hear what you're saying, Truman, and I understand. No one deserves to be bullied.
TRUMAN: I agree.
KG: But no one deserves to be without their brother. RK's in the sixth grade, he's nowhere close to starting his life yet. I have to be there for that. I want to teach him how to shave, how to go through this world on his own when I'm not around. I want to be there for all his big moments. His 13th birthday, the first wild party he goes to where the cops show up, his first drink. More than that, I want to see him graduate high school and go to college, so he can prove all those teachers wrong who thought he wasn't smart. Truman, I need to see my little brother become a man.
Beat.
TRUMAN: KG?
KG: Yeah?
Beat.
TRUMAN: That's the dumbest shit I've ever heard in my life. I'm doing the world a favor by killing you, you pitiful mongrel.
Truman looks disgusted as he leaves the room. KG screams.
SCENE 24
RK drives towards the woodside cabin as Denise, Rodney, and Trevor are in the backseat.
RK: Don't worry, guys, we'll make it. When we get to Truman, he's mine first. I'll rip his tongue out and play hackysack with it. Or maybe I'll just get straight to it and watch his brains splatter on the floor.
RODNEY: Damn, kid. What kind of shit do you watch in your free time?
RK: Leave TV out of this. It's personal. I don't care how firm your handshake is, nobody lays a finger on my brother and gets away with it.
DENISE: That's right, RK. Maybe we rip his tongue out first and then shoot him. Or we make him drop his pants, take a sack of oranges, and go to town on his Blatskys.
Beat.
DENISE (CONT.): I might be a little unhinged.
TREVOR: Could I play devil's advocate?
RODNEY: Why ask? You do it every day.
TREVOR: I'm showing etiquette. Something you know nothing about.
RODNEY: Me?
RK: You had a question, Trevor?
TREVOR: Yeah. Once we get there, how can we know for sure that KG's still alive? Maybe Truman already killed him.
DENISE: He's not dead.
TREVOR: Denise, people die all the time. We can't say that like we know.
RK: All I know is regardless of the outcome, Truman's not getting out of that cabin alive. I have too much shit to think about right now.
DENISE: Is this about Wade? KG told me he felt like you guys had tension.
RK: Wade? Who's Wade? Wade's a cartoon at this point.
DENISE: I have my answer.
TREVOR: I'm terrible with names. Is Wade, like, their leader or something?
RODNEY: No, Sparky is, remember?
TREVOR: Right. So, which ones are the minorities?
Denise and Rodney stare at Trevor, who shrugs.
SCENE 25
Truman's Woodside Cabin
Interior Living Room
Edmonds, Washington
Truman hears the doorbell ring.
TRUMAN: What the hell? Who knows we're here?
KG: How do you expect me to answer that? Did you think before you asked me that dumbass question?
TRUMAN: Whatever. It's probably some religious folks doing their monthly panhandling.
SCENE 26
Truman's Woodside Cabin
Exterior Entrance
Edmonds, Washington
RK and KG's gang are at the door.
RODNEY: Alright, I'll disguise my voice and act as the police.
DENISE: Why?
TREVOR: To entice Truman into opening the door.
DENISE: We get it, you love your new calendar.
TRUMAN (O.S.): Who is there?
RODNEY: SPD. We've received noise complaints coming from this cabin, you mind if we come on in?
TRUMAN (O.S.): Hang on.
SCENE 27
Truman's Woodside Cabin
Interior Living Room
Edmonds, Washington
Truman looks through the peephole to see who the "cops" really are. He looks irritated, then rubs his chin.
TRUMAN (V.O.): If they're snooping around, might as well waste them all.
SCENE 28
Truman's Woodside Cabin
Exterior Entrance
Edmonds, Washington
Cut back to outside the cabin.
TRUMAN (O.S.): I'll let you in. Be careful, I don't want you to get tied up in here.
SCENE 29
Truman's Woodside Cabin
Interior Living Room
Edmonds, Washington
Truman opens the door and Rodney immediately punches him in the face, knocking him down.
RODNEY: What, you thought we wouldn't find you, bitch?!
KG: Guys!
DENISE: KG, oh my God!
The guys run to KG to untie him while RK holds Truman at gunpoint.
RK: Give me one good reason why I shouldn't put you in the dirt.
TRUMAN: RK, you're acting irrational. Think about the handshake.
RK: F*** the handshake. You're dead.
TRUMAN: I think you have that backwards.
Truman headbutts RK, knocking him out cold. He then picks up RK's gun.
TRUMAN (CONT.): Now, you're dead, cretin.
KG clears his throat. Truman turns around and sees that KG is no longer untied, and he is being cornered by him, Rodney, Trevor, and Denise simultaneously.
TRUMAN (CONT.): Forget the gun, I don't need it.
Truman drops the gun on the floor.
TRUMAN (CONT.): I'll kill all of you with my bare hands.
KG screams and tackles Truman.
("Lies" by Cult to Follow plays in the background)
KG lands a few punches on Truman while the guys cheer him on. KG then chokes him, but Truman spits on him to get out of it, then punches him.
SCENE 30
Truman's Woodside Cabin
Interior Kitchen
Edmonds, Washington
("Lies" continues playing in the background)
Truman then tosses KG into the kitchen to gain an advantage, but Rodney and Trevor jump him immediately. Truman fights them off with a few kicks, and turns his attention back to KG. He grabs a cast iron skillet and tries to bash KG's head in, but Denise kicks him in the ankle, causing him to drop the skillet on his foot. Denise opens the refrigerator door, positions Truman's head, and slams the door shut on his skull. Rodney passes Denise the gun and Denise tries to shoot Truman, but he wrestles the gun away from her and kicks her in the stomach. KG is enraged and hits Truman with the skillet twice.
SCENE 31
Truman's Woodside Cabin
Exterior Backyard
Edmonds, Washington
("Lies" continues playing in the background)
KG then throws Truman through the back door and takes the skillet with him. Rodney and Trevor ensure that Truman can't muster up any offense by repeatedly punching and kicking him. At this point, Truman is down for the count and ripe for the picking. He spits out a tooth and can barely get up. Rodney and Trevor hold up Truman and KG charges at him with the skillet right to his face. KG then hits Truman with the skillet four times, presumably killing him. Denise then runs up to Truman, jumps up, and stomps on his genitals.
TREVOR: Please tell me he's dead.
RODNEY: He has to be. You can't come back from that.
KG: We should bury him. I never want to see this piece of shit again.
DENISE: Maybe we don't have to. Remember that cliff we drove by earlier?
Rodney, Trevor, and Denise all have sinister smiles.
KG: You guys wanna fill me in here?
SCENE 32
KG, Denise, Rodney, and Trevor grab Truman from the trunk and toss him over the 30-foot cliff, his body rolling downwards and covered in dirt and blood. KG smashes what's left of Truman's glasses and scatters them over the cliff as well.
KG: You tried to hate me. Don't ever make that mistake again.
TREVOR: He won't. He's dead now.
KG: Trevor, man, I was trying to have a moment here. Damn.
RODNEY: So, we're sure the cops won't look into this?
DENISE: Why would they? No one's going to miss him. And they don't even know he exists.
RK wakes up and smacks his lips as he looks through the car window.
RK: Hey, what happened? Did you...did you guys kill him yet?
KG: It's over, bro. For good.
RK: Yay. I might need some more sleep.
RK immediately falls back out of consciousness.
KG: We should take him to the hospital.
RODNEY: Good thinking. Let's go.
(The instrumental to "Lies" plays in the background)
KG and his friends walk away from the cliff. The camera pans down at Truman's lifeless body, then cuts to a closeup of his face. One eye slightly opens. Cut to black.
("You Gon' Learn" by Eminem featuring Royce da 5'9" and White Gold plays over the end credits)
©2024 ANDERSON PRODUCTIONS
