Chapter 20
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Halloween 1996
"You want my advice, kid?"
The sound of Sirius' slurred words had broken Harry out of his thoughts. They had been sitting on the porch, drinking Firewhisky in the cool night air. It was October 31st and in Harry's opinion-the worst night of the year. Every Halloween night, his Godfather allowed the dark memories of his past to take hold, drowning himself in despair and drink. It was the only night every year that the heavy weight of their current situation was substituted by the aching burden of the past. Harry set his drink down, rubbing his face with his hands. On these nights, it was he who stood sentinel. Memories didn't haunt him as they did Sirius, but the suffering he saw in his Godfather all these years later was difficult to witness. He hadn't really wanted Sirius' advice that night, but he had listened anyway. He always did. As bad as these nights were, they were also the nights that Sirius would talk. Really talk. The words would fall out of him, slurred and depressing and dark, but they were there. Each one was a piece of a past he had never known.
"Alright," he had said, bracing himself, "let's hear it."
"Don't let it get you." Sirius had used his drink to emphasize his point. "Don't do it."
It hadn't made sense, had made his brow furrow in confusion, but Sirius had kept going.
"There's weapons, Harry. World's full of weapons- Magic and Muggle- all meant to cause pain and destruction. Spells snuff the life out like a candle. Muggle devices level cities in seconds." Sirius sat back, a small shake of his head. "But no one tells you about the worst one of them all, the one that causes the most pain. The most destruction. Worse than the Cruciatus. Worse than the killing curse. Worse than... than all of it." A moment passed, and his eyes glazed over a bit. "Your mum and dad had it. And fuck if I didn't have it too. But I wish to Merlin I hadn't, it would have been so much easier if I hadn't, so much better." His face crumpled with emotion, eyes becoming glassy.
Harry stayed silent. Listening.
Sirius wiped his face. "And Dumbledore, fucking Dumbledore, know what he said? Said it's your weapon. It'll help you. Can you fucking believe it?"
He watched the man closely. Gave him time. Heard what he wasn't saying.
"So that's the thing, kid." The bitter mask was back in place. "It will destroy you if you let it, it will destroy everything. There's just too much to lose."
Then he had understood, piecing together what Sirius had said, and what he hadn't. The realization put a sharp ache in his heart, and answer to something he hadn't thought to ask. But now, it was so clear to him why his guardian could be the closest person to him, yet still hold him at arm's length.
"What if it's worth it?" Harry asked quietly.
The sound of breaking glass echoed in the night, and Sirius grabbed his arm roughly.
"Don't do it, Harry," he snarled pointing his finger to his chest. "I cared about your parents more than anything in the world, alright? And when they- they died, it destroyed me. It fucking destroyed me. And then Marlene she..." Sirius grimaced, his fist clenching Harry's shirt. "Don't fall for it, there's just too much to lose. If you're given the choice, I'm begging you, kid, just walk away. You probably think that's heartless, don't you? But I've got to protect you. I couldn't stand the thought of the same thing happening to you. I'm telling you this now because life… life can do terrible things."*
Harry hadn't remembered the rest after that, only that Sirius eventually stumbled into the house, leaving him shaken and torn. But he did remember, and he remembered well, that he would not follow the advice Sirius gave him that night. Not at all. Because he would give anything to have felt a love like Sirius had- powerful enough to fracture a soul.
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Ginny was in the Orchard.
She felt the warmth of the sun on the back of her neck. Smelled the breeze of spring. Heard birds singing up high in the branches. Her mother stood next to her, examining the apple blossoms. "Ah," the redheaded woman said, "They are starting to wake up now." She turned her face toward Ginny, and the sight of her warm smile sent a sharp pang in her heart, and made tears spring to her eyes.
"Mum?"
With a look of concern, her mother wrapped her in her arms. The sobs began tearing through her, and her mother rubbed her back and smoothed her hair.
"It's alright, love. It's alright."
Her mum held her face in her hands and wiped away her tears.
"Dry those eyes, sweet girl. It's time to go."
"Go?" She couldn't think of anything she wanted less. "Go where?"
Her mother clicked her tongue and smiled. "You always were my brave one. I wanted to keep you all for myself, but fate had grander plans for you. We always knew you would do great things. Wonderful things."
"What things?" The edges of her vision began to darken. A dull roaring filled her ears. She held tighter to her mother. "What's happening?"
Her mother smiled. "It's time to wake up, love." She placed a warm kiss on her forehead. "It's time to wake up."
Ginny woke with a gasp.
Her head felt as though it had been crushed repeatedly along river rocks. Each beat of her pulse sent a throb through her skull, making her eyes snap shut again. After a few moments, the throbbing lessened a bit, and she dared open her eyes again. The scene was blurry. Blinking rapidly, she peered frantically into the dark waters around her, trying to make out her surroundings. She was still at the bottom of the lake, her hair gently swaying in the water. Something was holding her upright, and there was a tightness across her chest and wrists. Shaking her head to clear the lingering fog in her mind, she tried to rub her eyes but realized something was restraining her. Braided cords of water plants bound her wrists together. The same cords also stretched across her chest and abdomen, binding her against a stone monolith. Panic seeped in, and she immediately struggled against her bindings. They only seemed to tighten their hold. Her head gave another blinding throb of pain, and she stopped struggling.
Where was she?
Shapes slowly came into view. Rocks. Dark and jagged quartzite surrounded her. It was a cave, and it was familiar. A cavernous rock ceiling was above her, stretching to cover an area that could have easily fit a small village. The cave was dotted with little underwater flames, filling the cavern with low, flickering light. In the middle of the cavern was a dais, a crude altar surrounded by runes, with green flames in its center. Her heart jumped in her throat, and images flashed in her mind.
A face distorting and melting.
Water humming with magic.
Chanting. Rough hands bruising her arms.
Something crashing into the back of her head, then falling into darkness as the Shaman laughed and laughed…
"Oh, no."
It all crashed back into her. The False Queen luring her into the cave. The horror of their betrayal. The bitter regret of how deeply they had underestimated the threat of the Shaman. And the Queen- her eyes searched for the Mermaid, and she nearly jumped out of her skin when she realized Queen Merneith was tied to the monolith next to her, not making a sound.
"My Queen?" The Mermaid's head was bowed, and for a moment Ginny feared she was dead until she saw the gentle movement of water around her face. Battered and bruised, yes, but she was alive. Relief surged through her. "My Queen, can you hear me? Wake up."
"I wouldn't do that if I were you."
Ginny froze at the voice. Someone was floating next to the altar. "Djet, what have you done?"
Djet swam forward, face grim. "Only what is necessary." His face was darker, more menacing than she could remember. A dark sash was around his waist, and a rune was painted on his forehead.
She swallowed hard. "A ritual? Really? You think a ritual is going to save the Merpeople? Don't be stupid, Queen Merneith would've already done it and saved you the trouble."
A bark of laughter escaped him. "Ever the terrible liar, Íde. But you should know, this ritual comes from the Queen herself. It was entirely her idea."
"You can't possibly expect me to-" With one lift of his finger, her lips sealed themselves shut.
With the same finger, he traced one of the runes on the altar, making the water begin to hum. "Had I neglected to bring you here, you would be caught up in your own ritual this night, no? Up there with-" his lip curled in disgust, "those surface dwellers. But you're just like them, aren't you? Self-serving. Avaricious. The wickedness of humans knows no bounds. But this ritual-" the runes on the altar began to emit a faint glow, "will bring salvation to my people. For the good of the many. And I will give up everything to see it done." His finger lowered, and the magic released her.
"Oh please," she spat venomously, "don't make yourself out to be a martyr. I'm sure you plan on rewarding yourself handsomely for this 'salvation.' What did your father promise you? His staff? No wait, I bet it was Merneith's crown."
"You know nothing, girl."
"And what will you tell the people? How you were so brave and fearless when you battered the Queen with your fists? How you made her bleed when you tore the crown from her head?"
"Enough." He swam closer, fists clenched. But she was enraged, fire roaring inside her. Unable to stop the biting words from flowing, she shook her head at him mockingly, eyes blazing.
"This doesn't look good for you Djet. Everyone would find out eventually. Would the Merpeople really be content with a king who just does whatever Daddy tells him to? Because that's what you are- the Shamans little puppet. Or maybe, you're just afraid. Afraid to disobey the Shaman, afraid of disappointing him. So even though you know it's wrong you just go along with it. You big, fucking, COWARD-"
The palm of his hand slammed against her cheek, whipping her head sideways.
"You stupid girl!" He roared, eyes wild. "This was what the Queen wanted, Íde! This was always the plan!"
Cheek stinging, she narrowed her eyes. "I don't believe you."
He laughed, shaking his head. "No? Why don't you ask her, then?"
Ginny turned to see Queen Merneith's swollen eyes were open. Her face was pleading. Guilty.
"My Queen?" It wasn't true. It wasn't. Djet laughed again.
"Yes," he sneered, "Even our beloved Queen has secrets of her own. You dare accuse me of treachery and deceit, but I assure you, no betrayal has been greater to you than that of our Queen. No lies were so bitter as hers. Am I not correct?"
The Queen looked for a moment as if she would say something, that she would deny everything, but she hung her head. The royal Mermaid- always so stoic and regal, was- was… falling apart.
"See how ashamed of the truth she is?" Djet's eyes gleamed in triumph. "Go on, Merneith. Time to share your secrets. Tell Íde what you have been keeping from her. And I'm not just talking about your little ritual, am I? No, you know it's so much more than that."
Ginny looked at the Mermaid, waiting for the explanation. Queen Merneith shook her head slowly.
"Forgive me," she murmured. "Please forgive me."
A wave of dread plummeted in her stomach. What exactly would she be forgiving?
"Tell me," her voice trembled. "Tell me everything. Please."
But the Queen seemed overcome or perhaps didn't know where to start. Djet seemed to relish her distress.
"Your memories, Íde," he said coldly, "The ones that have been lost to you- of your childhood, school, your family- your beloved Queen had them all."
"She said they were already long gone by the time I was found."
"And that is what we thought, my dear. When we brought you to our village, your mind was fractured. Frozen. We called upon our magic to repair what we could- my father, myself, and the Queen. The dark curse upon you was powerful, but she was determined to restore you. The royal Merpeople are prone to prophetic dreams when leading their people, and she had dreamt of your role in our… salvation."
Ginny remembered what Queen Merneith had shared from her dream- how Ginny had appeared to her, and her people had been saved.
Djet folded his arms across his broad chest, staring at the Queen, who stared back defiantly. "We were able to protect the memories near to your banishment into the Black Lake. You were in no fit state to receive them. So we harnessed them. Protected them. As for the rest of your memories, it took far greater magic, nearly depleting ourselves, to locate and extract them. Their volatility was too great to bind to a vessel, so the Queen kept them in her chambers." He waved his hand, and a flickering image came to life- Ginny could see a room that housed the Queen, with a small table adorned with shells. Floating above the table, was a small globe of golden light. The light flickered and pulsed- images flickering within, whispered voices trickling out of it. Then she saw the Queen with a large glass dome. Carefully, she lowered the glass over the golden ball of light. Her memories. All of them. The image Djet conjured flickered away.
"What happened?" Ginny asked.
"She began work on the ritual," Djet said, still glaring at the Queen. "With my father's aid. Using her prophetic dream for guidance, she created a way in which you would be used to break the curse on our people and free us from destruction. The ritual was divinely inspired- magic as we had never seen before. It seemed as if the spirits of past royals of the Merpeople guided her. Weeks and weeks of work, and she had it completed."
"Then why wasn't it done?" Ginny asked. "And what of the memories?"
"Patience, girl," he snarled. "We had everything in place- everything we needed to complete it. We brought you before the Queen, and for the first time, my father and I had hope- hope that we would finally be free from the darkness cast upon us. You bowed before her throne, and you offered your consent."
Ginny's breath caught in her throat, and she glanced at Merneith. "I don't remember any of this." The Queen couldn't seem to look at her, eyes downcast.
"Indeed," Djet continued. "You could hardly remember one moment to the next in those early days. But you consented. You were ready to vow to it. It should have been done. But the Queen refused."
"Why?"
"Foolishness, Íde. Pure and utter foolishness. The ritual required your vow of consent, but she became convinced that without all of your memories, you couldn't truly be willing. So she stopped everything, telling us that you simply weren't ready. Weeks and weeks passed, and then months. And still, STILL," he roared the last word, fire in his yellow eyes, "you were never ready. Even after your spirit began to awaken, began to come alive again, we were forbidden to pursue it. Then you began surfacing. You met that boy- and the veil of dark magic inside you began lifting. It was time, we all knew it. But the Queen would not change her mind. When we released the memories from the pearl, the Queen feared you would not live through it. She feared you would be destroyed should we try to give you more. It was then that my father and I realized that she may never allow us to complete the ritual, because her heart had grown so soft for you in your plight, and she couldn't stand the thought of sacrificing someone for whom she held so dear."
"Sacrifice?" Ginny whispered in disbelief. The sting of hurt made her feel like she had been slapped again. She turned to the Queen. "You were going to kill me?"
"No!" The Queen let out a sob. "No, my little one. I could never, ever, hurt you!"
Djet laughed cruelly, and tears sprang to Ginny's eyes, lost to the waters of the lake. "Then what- what does he mean?"
Merneith's eyes closed for a moment, and she took a breath. "If you consented, then you would vow your life to the Merpeople. The ritual would have you cast off your human form, and you would become a true Mermaid of the Blake Lake. The crown would be yours, and I would give it to you gladly, for once crowned, you would choose a mate, and bear a child. The birth of the child would be the catalyst to end the curse on our people, and my people would be able to bear children once more."
Her words rang in Ginny's head as she processed them. She saw in her own mind herself as a full Mermaid, hair green and eyes yellowed, with the crown on her head. Her hands moved to her swollen stomach, where life stirred within.
"That fate meant you would forsake your past," she continued, "forsake any life other than the lake, and never surface again. So you see, little one, I would be sacrificing you for my people." She shook her head, pleading. "You were willing, but I cared so much for you, I could not let you give yourself up, without knowing what you would be leaving behind. When we gave you the memories of the Keshi pearl, I thought my heart might rent in two at the pain it brought you. You- who have suffered so much already."
Ginny recalled those agonizing hours after she was given those memories- only a day's worth- and she had felt on the brink of death. "I- I understand." Merneith had protected her. Had always protected her. "Thank you for stopping the ritual." The Queen nodded back at her.
"Oh, I wouldn't thank her just yet." Djet smiled wickedly. "My father and I have been working diligently these past weeks, and we've made some alterations to Merneith's ritual."
The flames on the dais flared, lighting up the chamber. From the shadows, the Shaman entered- cloaked and hooded, chanting in old Mermish. In his hands, he held a glass jar that housed a tiny, golden light.
Her memories.
"What are you doing?" She demanded, fear racing through her.
"Haven't you figured it out, Íde?" Djet moved to the altar. He picked up a stone dagger, pressing a finger to test the sharpness. "We're performing the ritual. Right now."
Panic was choking her. He couldn't. He wouldn't…
"I don't consent," she told him. "I won't consent."
Djet laughed, and the Shamans chanting grew louder. "Not to worry, I removed that particular obstacle. I no longer need your consent. The Queen's blood will substitute."
Queen Merneith let out a snarl and began thrashing against her bindings. "Treason!" She screamed. "Death will be yours if you attempt this!"
"No," Djet said, "Death will be yours very soon, Merneith. Oh, and one more thing…" He gestured to the glass jar holding the golden light. "We don't need these anymore, do we?" Before the words were comprehended, Djet raised the hilt of the dagger and shattered the glass.
"No!"
Ginny's scream tore out of her throat. The little ball of light flickered, pulsed, and then faded out completely.
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TBC
Thanks to Gin for the beta read!
*Text from Terrible Things by Mayday Parade