Ren: "Makoto? Buddy?"

Yu, Ren and their friends just arrived, and I haven't left his side all day. Why? Why did this happen!

Yu: "How did this happen?"

Me: "I wish I knew."

Nijima: "Was there any signs of a struggle? Or maybe someone else was there? Maybe it's not what it looks like!"

Not what it looks like...

Mitsuru: "The police investigated the scene. There was no struggle. No one else on the school cameras. No one else was in the building. The only conclusion is... is..."

Don't say it.

Naoto: "I'm sorry. You already know."

Me: "NO! NO! HE WOULDN'T! NOT AGAIN!"

Yu: "Aigis..."

Me: "NO! NO!"

I jerk back as I feel Yu's hand on my shoulder. An obvious attempt at consolidation, but all it does is remind me that this is really happening.

I don't want it to be real.

Please let me wake up from this nightmare. I just want to be next to him in bed, tell him I love him. Not having to try and fail to stop the tears from falling from my eyes.

My chest tightens as I feel someone's body quickly being wrapped around me. Yu is not taking no for an answer this time.

Yu: "It'll be ok Aigis. HE will be okay."

You can't possibly know that. But I have to try and believe it. Or else I don't know what I'm going to do.

Me: "Yeah, you're right. He has to."

Please wake up.

Chie: "Aigis, how about we take you to get some fresh air."

Yeah, maybe that's a good idea.

Me, Chie, Yukiko, Yukari and Haru step outside the hospital. I don't even know where we're going.

Haru: "Sometimes it just helps to get away from it all."

Me: "You sound like yourself speaking from experience."

Haru: "I am, my father was killed last year."

Oh yes. I remember them telling me about that.

Me: "I'm sorry for your loss."

Haru: "No apology needed, but what you need right now is time to process everything."

Yukiko: "She's right, I think the shock of it all is still effecting you."

Chie: "Exactly, so just breathe a little and know that we're here for you."

Me: "Thank you guys, maybe you're right. I just wish I could've done something. Woken up sooner, or told someone how he really felt. Maybe then he wouldn't be..."

Chie: "You can't think like that, there was nothing you could do. It's not your fault."

I wish I could believe that.

Me: "I appreciate you trying to make me feel better, but I need to see him, I don't want to leave his side."

I start to speedwalk back to Makoto's room, with the others following, but as I head back upstairs I hear someone's voice coming from his room.

Sumire: "I knew he was hurting but I didn't know it was this bad."

What?

What did she just say?

I decide to hide outside the room and listen in.

Ren: "You know we talked a few days ago, and I thought we were really opening up to each other, but he never told us what he was going through."

Yu: "What if he did? You mean our heart to heart right? One of the things he said to us was that he bad at asking for help. And he said if we needed help, he SHOULD be there."

Ren: "Yeah, so?"

Yu: "Ren, 'should' implies that he may not be, and Makoto is not the type to abandon his friends when they need him."

Ren: "Wait. You think he's been planning this?"

Yu: "It's possible."

I can't take this! The pressure in my chest begins to rise and turn into heat, as my sorrow turns to rage.

I slam the door open, demanding answers.

Me: "Why didn't you say something?"

Yu: "Aigis? I didn't know you were listening."

Me: "YU! Why didn't you tell me?"

Yu: "It was just speculation! I don't know for sure."

Me: "But you suspected something was wrong and you didn't say anything!"

Yu: "Aigis I..."

Me: "And you! (Pointing to Sumire) You said you knew he was hurting. What did he tell you?"

Sumire: "He didn't tell me much of anything. But I could tell he was in pain."

Me: "And you chose to stay quiet too!"

Sumire: "He told me he would tell you!"

Ren: "Aigis, it's not Sumire's fault."

Me: "So ALL three of you had knowledge he was hurting and not ONE of you decided to tell me?!"

I don't believe this. I thought they were my friends. I thought they were HIS friends. I don't even want to look at them right now.

"Get out."

Yu: "Aigis?"

"GET OUT!"

Everyone leaves in a hurry.

I didn't need to say anything else. I don't want to see them. They are not my friends. If they had just told me instead of hiding this from me, I could've BEEN THERE.

I can't forgive them.