"Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much"
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"COME ON CADETS, KEEP PUSHING ONE MORE KILOMETER!" Lynne exclaimed in full equipment while jogging from the front of the Cadet cadre all wearing their full equipment as well as some heavy backpacks as they all jogged trough the rain, "ME AND HENNING HERE ARE WEARING THE SAME AS YOU AND WE'RE NOT EVEN TIRED YET!".
Armin was panting as he jogged through the forest, the weight of the ODM gear around his waist was dragging him down and his legs were beginning to burn as well from the time he'd been going, and the end still wasn't in sight yet; he tried to adjust the heavy backpack he wore to a more comfortable position, but it didn't make a difference as no matter where is was it still weighed him down.
The blond looked ahead to see the rest of the cadet's running off ahead of him being directed by their Scout leaders, clearly being more capable than him, at carrying this much.
He could feel his legs about to give out as the pain became just too much, could this be it for his time in the cadet's, was he going to have to leave Eren, Mikasa and the others.
As this horrifying thought dawned on him, he began almost feeling lighter, as if all the weight were being lifted off his shoulders, he hazarded a glance back to find this was in fact true, the bag was being lifted from his shoulder by a much larger person.
"Just focus on running with the ODM gear on, I'll shoulder the weight of your bag for now" Reiner grinned at him as he threw the bag over his own shoulder to carry two, "The Scouts are at the front, they won't notice if I we shoulder your burden for a little".
"We…" Armin muttered before feeling his right arm getting grabbed and being supported by another.
He faced this stranger to see the much taller Bertholdt holding on to him, "Here use me for support to keep you moving, just focus on moving your legs forward" he panted as his own exhaustion was beginning to set in, "Just a bit further".
"Why are you guys helping me?" the boy questioned feeling the pain slightly subside as the worst of the weight was relieved from him, "There's no need, they're testing out individual strength?".
"Does there need to be a reason, you're a good guy Armin, I'd even call you a friend, what's so wrong with helping a friend out huh?" Reiner grinned, the training seemingly not even fazing the tank of a man, "I know you'll do the same for me someday".
Armin showed a small smile of gratitude towards both boys before looking down, the hood on his cloak covering his face, "How can I help you someday, I can't even carry my own weight here…" he muttered the sounds of the rain completely drowning him out as they continued, Armin remaining supported by the other two fitter boys.
Henning glanced back from his position alongside the cadets where he saw the three boys at the back, it being clear to him that both Reiner and Bertholdt were helping out the much smaller Armin, he carefully inspected Armin before turning back to the front.
"I'm not strong enough" the blonde whispered to no one.
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Five figures zipped through the shadows of the trees trying their best to maintain a formation, they were firing hooks from their ODM gear into trees and propelling themselves forward, it wasn't the smoothest use of the equipment, but they were doing better than most.
They shot through the forest while keeping a look out for any sign of their target, soon it came into view within the shadows of the trees, a figure standing 10 metres tall with its mouth slightly parted while looking right towards them.
The figures nodded towards each other before immediately splitting off, two separated and went low circling around the monster, two more stayed high but also circling around the sides and the final one headed straight for the target picking up speed as he neared.
As he got close, he fired his hooks into two separate trees ahead of him and propelled himself higher than the tall figure, "Hey ugly! Don't you want to get a piece of me!" Nack exclaimed shouting down towards it.
The head tilted upwards looking straight at him, now it's focus was solely on him.
Behind, Thomas and Milieus sprung from the trees coming in low and using their ultrahard steel blades to both slice a sizable chunk out of the ankles before putting some distance between them and it.
As they cleared two more figures from either side sprung out, Eren and Armin shot right for the arms with Eren first successfully slicing his own large chunk from the appendage.
Armin on the other wasn't having as much luck, as he neared, the arm on his side raised up catching him off guard, as he lost focus, he caught a foot on the hand and crashed onto the arm before falling downwards towards the ground unable to get a grip to save himself, "Armin!" he head Eren exclaim as he plummeted.
As he neared the ground, he suddenly felt an arm wrap around him and pull him away before they settled on the ground being overcast with the Titan, Armin looked up to the figure who'd saved him, "Thomas?" he muttered sitting up.
"Are you okay Armin, that didn't look pleasant?" Thomas asked visually checking him over as they other three landed around them ignoring the Titan.
Before Armin could answer Henning landed next to the with a scolding look, "What were you all instructed to do?" He exclaimed making them all brace up to face him in a hurried fashion.
"To eliminate the Titan sir!" the answered together while Henning rubbed his forehead in annoyance.
"So why did you abandon you mission!" he scolded stepping up and getting in all their faces.
"Sorry sir, I made the mistake and they had to save me" Armin hastily answered to shoulder the blame.
Henning looked over him "Cadet Arlelt, you were there in the lesson before the exercise, Titans are unpredictable, you must be able to manoeuvre at a moment's notice, why did you forget this!?" Armin stumbled over his words unable to form an answer, "But it wasn't just you're doing, when fighting a Titan, it must be killed before any action is taken, but at the sight of your comrade falling you all abandoned the task!" he indicated to the still intact nape of the Titan frame as a few figured stood up holding rope, the instructors who'd been moving the figure.
They all knew why Henning was being so hard on them, if this had been a real scenario, they'd all be dead by now, they had to take the Titan out before anything as they didn't have any sort of morals that would keep the cadets alive.
"You've failed the training, for today, as punishment you're all on bathroom cleaning duty for the rest of the day and tomorrow, you're dismissed" Henning sighed as they saluted and marched off with their heads hung low.
"I'm sorry everyone" Armin guiltily muttered as he trailed behind, this all stemmed from his actions after all.
"Ah forget about it Armin, this stuff happens" Eren smiled shaking his friends shoulder.
"Yeah exactly, really this might be more my doing" Nack chuckled scratching his cheek, "I probably should've gone for the kill while I had the chance" he laughed.
Jokingly Milieus wrapped an arm around his neck and pulled him in to a headlock, "Yeah it is Nack, now we've gotta clean the toilets because of you" they both laughed in fake scolding as Thomas stepped to wrap his arm around Nack head too.
"We're all titan food because of you" he commented putting on his best Henning voice as he ruffled Nack's hair making them all laugh.
"See Armin don't be worrying so much, no one's blaming you" Eren smiled shaking his friends shoulder.
"Yeah, we're just taking it out on Nack!" Thomas shouted back getting a laugh from Eren before he looked back to his longest friend.
In the long time he'd known Armin he knew how much he let everything get to him, whenever they'd get into fights Armin would spend days apologizing to him and Mikasa for getting them roped into it and always tried to insist that they didn't need to trouble themselves with helping him which was always of course shot down by the two.
Armin's always struggled in the confidence aspect, Eren had noticed it and knew where it stemmed from, after all he wasn't the most gifted person in the world in terms of strength, speed, agility, or anything else other than his mind, at which he was always amazed.
"Hey Eren!" the shouting from Milieus shook Eren from his thoughts, "Come grab Nack's legs for us" he laughed.
Eren looked once more at Armin before running up to do as asked.
Armin watched them mess around as a small smile came across his lips, "I'm glad they can find some laughter after today" his smile quickly faded though, "But they are just ignoring the fact that I'm the weakest on the team, we're meant to be comrades and not friends and that's a big difference, they had to save me again and had this been real, I'd have gotten someone killed because I couldn't deliver".
"First yesterday and now today, I simply can't keep up with everyone else, I can't be relied upon when it matters, I'm just not like them" he sighed continuing to watch them.
"I'm sorry Eren, but I don't think I'm cut out for this" he muttered.
"I'm just not reliable enough"
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Jean let out another groan as he pulled back on a rope wired around his waist to help hurl one of his fellow cadet's up a hill, "Come on already Armin, I can't pull you up forever!" he exclaimed in exasperations of how long this was taking.
Slightly further down the steep hill was Amin knees deep in mud trying to claw his way up the hill gripping on the rope connected to his, Jean's and their other two comrades waists, "Sorry Jean" he muttered getting exhausted.
"Don't worry about apologising just keep going forward and getting out of this mud!" Conny called from behind Armin trying to help him out of his predicament by pushing him from the back.
Armin gritted his teeth and clenched tighter onto the rope knowing there was no real gripping points in the mud for him to use; using this he tried pulling himself forward to no avail being way too deep in the mud to use his own strength to get out.
"Armin, focus on getting your legs free!" Marco called from behind Jean also supporting the rope, "Look at pulling them at least a little loose then myself and Jean can pull you out" he instructed from his higher ground position while trying to keep his own footing.
As Armin attempted to do as asked, gripping tightly onto his jeans and yanking them upwards with Conny trying his best to help out from his positioning, getting a hand into one of Armin's pockets and pulling upward.
After a few rough pulls, Conny tumbled back as one leg came loose, wiping the mud from his face he crawled back over to help Armin with the other leg and eventually getting it free or a better term would be loose.
The two higher boys immediately began pulling up, hoisting Armin through the mud with Conny stumbling behind, trying not to fall into the same muddy hole as the blonde just had just been stuck inside.
As he got close, Marco stepped down and got a firm grip on Armin's shoulder and hoisting him up to their level as Jean stumbled down slightly supporting all the weight of three people, "Oh come on already" he whined as the other finally go up and he could fall back, "Goddamn it Armin, I'm getting tired of having to drag you around all the time!" he snapped still slightly exasperated.
"S-Sorry everyone, I wasn't watching my footing" Armin apologised with a small head bow before he move to scraping some of the mud off him and checking their rope connections.
"Eh don't beat yourself up about it, this training is hell for all of us" Conny commented wip ing some mud from his brow and flipping it onto Jean, "Anyone could've slipping into that mud trap, I probably would've if you hadn't" he remarked with a laugh.
Armin shook his head not feeling entirely convinced by Conny's statement, he just wasn't cut out for these extremities, it was as simple as that.
Almost immediately noticing Armin's head downturn, Marco stepped up and placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder, "Don't beat yourself up Armin, Conny's right, it's called a trap for a reason anyone could slip into it, you just got unlucky" he smiled taking his hand away and wiping the mud off that came with it.
"Now we can't stay stopped, we need to keep pushing ahead" Marco ordered look up the next part of the hill which got even muddier, "We'll take a five minute breather then we can continue on" he said looking over them all.
"Ugh, I don't think five will be enough, what if I have to pull Armin up all the way" Jean remarked with a mocking laugh, "I'm already knee deep in the shit up here I don't need him dragging me down too" he whined leaning back to take in a bit of the sun.
Marco looked to Jean with a glare before picking up a huge bunch of mud and dropping it on to Jean's face earning an immediate reaction of disgust and anger with the arrogant posh boy bolting up to get in the face of Marco, "What the hell Marco!" he exclaimed gritting his teeth.
"Cut out the attitude Jean!" Marco said getting back in his face, "We're a team here, and we have to work together, there's no need to put Armin down, you don't have to like him but you will work with him!" he snapped with an authority over his fellow cadet, "Is that understood Jean?!".
Jean stared back to Marco looking for any sign of a break but saw none so reluctantly he backed down, "Yeah okay, sorry" he mumbled turning his back to them his frustration knowing his friend was right.
Marco sighed as he wiped his brow, "Marco, that was impressive" Armin said astonished at his ability to take command at a moments notice.
"Oh it was nothing" he said scratching his cheek as a small blush crept on his cheeks.
Armin looked to Marco in almost amazement, this was the first time he'd seem Marco step up like this and actually take charge of a situation, he'd always thought they shared something in common, always being quiet and reserved but now he wasn't so sure, "Marco that was amazing, you're a natural leader" Armin said praising him.
Marco laughed and rubbed the back of his head, "Oh I wouldn't say that I just have a read for what is right and wrong and not letting things that are wrong pass by me" he answered with a smile.
"How do you do it though, it was such a sudden shift, and you didn't break for even a moment?" Armin questioned wanting to know his secret.
"I-I don't really known Armin" he chuckled, "I guess I just say whatever is on my mind, and make sure it's said with confidence but half the time it just comes to me, almost a spur of the moment thing" he answered truthfully.
"Ah he's just being modest Armin" Conny said throwing an arm around his shoulder, "Marco here is a natural born leader, I know I'd follow him, why do you think I always try and get in the same group as him, Jean does it too though he won't admit it" he laughed as Jean turned his head to face away again.
"Marco always seems to know what he's doing when he's in charge, and he knows how to keep the squad moving forward while settling disputes; I've had my fair share of falling outs with horse face over there, but Marco always sets us right" he said with a smirk.
"Conny I really don't need that much praise" Marco laughed nervously as Conny stepped up towards him jokingly punching his shoulder.
"Of course, you do, should believe in yourself more y'know, who knows what you can do, I mean you will end up having to compete with a genius like me however" Conny laughed crossing his arms and putting on a thoughtful expression.
"Trust me the head may be big but the brain is tiny!" Jean called out getting a irked expression from Conny before Marco swiftly intervened.
"Marco really know what he's doing, he's confident and knows what he wants, strong but kind, he knows his comrades better than most and is determined to help get them through all of this and most importantly he knows where he belongs, and others are willing to let him be there" he muttered quietly watching the three interact.
"I'm nothing like him, I always slow the team down, I'm not strong and I'll never find where I truly belong" he muttered looking back down to the mud below them, "I don't have the confidence to be like him".
"I don't think I ever will".
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Mina sighed as she looked over the paper in front of her, before bringing her hands up to rub her eyes again; no matter how many times she looked at the questions none of them made sense and a glance around the room would show that she wasn't the only one.
Most of the cadets were struggling with this test they'd been given, many of the questions were way above their skill level and there was no way most of them could even guess the answers.
There was one outlier, however.
Armin was answering the questions without a second thought, as if they were the easiest thing in the world to him, and in fact they possibly were.
During his time training, he'd taken the opportunity to read up on all the books provided to them multiple times over and even before cadets he'd gone through what he could find, tag this along with his pretty impressive memory skills then it was a recipe for success in any test.
Although it wasn't like he was noticing, his mind had been a buzz for a while now, no matter where he was, he never felt like he'd fit in as being a soldier, he wasn't even debating whether or not to drop out but instead he just couldn't work up the courage to actually leave yet.
This hadn't gone unnoticed however, especially by though close to him, he never was good at hiding his feeling towards something and when that is paired up with the eagle eyed Mikasa or the seemingly psychic Mina then there was no use in even pretending.
He looked to his left and right where they both sat beside him, Mina with her lost face and Mikasa with her usual stoic one occasionally taking quite obvious glances towards the blond, not being particularly good at subtlety.
They had both confronted him separately getting the truth out of him in their own ways thus leading to their concern now; when they found out, both had given him words of comfort and reassurance, but it didn't really work for him.
He casually leaned back to look over his finished paper almost dully, but as he did, the corner of his eye caught Mina's paper where it was almost completely blank save for a few scribbles she's doodled at some point.
With curiosity getting the better of him, he also hazarded a glance towards Mikasa's paper which while more filled than Mina's the answers weren't exactly correct, far from it in fact.
He looked up to the clock to see half the time still remained then back down to his paper being completely filled.
Hazarding a look at the desk, Henning was leaning against it looking around while Lynne paced around observing.
Armin's and Henning's eyes met, and the boy swiftly looked back down to 'inspect' his paper, slowly peaking back up he saw Henning had turned his back and was now scribbling something on the board while Lynne was walking towards him.
Seeing a small moment, Armin roughly nudged Mina in the ribs getting her attention with a small yelp being swiftly shushed by Armin as he as subtly moved his paper towards Mina, "Be quick" he whispered.
Mina looked at him "Are you-" she want to ask before being swiftly cut off.
"Quick" he whispered again with a slight hiss.
Mina didn't need telling more and as quick as she could copied down his answers and sitting up.
Armin saw and moved the paper back before nudging Mikasa's hand with the paper and repeating the same as he did with Mina, and while Mikasa was more reluctant than Mina, Armin's insistence got her to give in and copy herself.
Armin knew that while he was the weakest of the unit, he could at least do this to make up for all his short comings.
After she'd finished, he beckoned for it to got down towards Eren and the rest of his friends, not wanting any to be dropped out like he would be. Unbeknownst to him however, both Henning and Lynne had turned around quite some time ago and had been watching this pass the parcel of test answers with small smiles on their faces.
"Alright, the test is over" Henning called out confusing many of the cadets who were still halfway through, "You've all passed".
Murmurs of confusion echoed around the class not sure what had happened; however, Armin had a suspicion that it had to do with what he'd done, it might also explain the reason Henning was looking straight at him.
"You're all dismissed for the evening, go get some hot food in you while you can" Lynne called out, leading the way for the Cadet cadre.
As they filed out Henning grabbed Armin by the shoulder and pulled him out of the file, "We need to talk" he told him as the final of the cadets left, some with concerned glances towards Armin, "Do you know what I'm going to tell you?".
Armin wasn't sure how to answer other than with a "No sir" he knew the reason but part of him didn't want to guess.
Henning reached into one of his pockets and pulled out a small slip of paper, and holding it out for Armin to see, "This is a discharge form, for any cadet wanting to drop out without dismissal from the commandant, you fill out theses boxes and hand it to me, then you can pack your stuff and leave" he said in a serious tone.
"I've been watching you Arlelt, while you might not have noticed, I have been for quite some time" he continued Armin not sure what to say, "I've also overheard the talk of you wanting to drop out, because you think you're not cut out to be a soldier, is that correct?".
"Y-yes sir" he stammered not sure where this was leading.
"Hand me your jacket" he instructed, and Armin did as asked still worried what was happening, "This form is option one, you sign it and leave with your tail between your legs" he set that on his right side, "This jacket is option two, where you put it back on and continue your training to become a soldier".
Armin looked between the two options knowing which one he wanted, "Before you decide let me tell you something, I've seen many soldiers like you" he said getting Armin full attention immediately, "One such example is in fact one of my commanding officers, her name is Section Commander Hange, you two shares quite a bit in common, she too isn't necessarily strong nor is she the most capable fighter but she more than makes up for it with her mind, quite simply I don't think anyone can match her and without her, we'd be miles behind the Titan's, her importance to the Scouts as a whole is second to none".
"Alongside her is her unit, Squad Hange or their nickname of the Brain squad, it's made entirely up of the smartest Scouts, and they are more than capable soldiers, there's examples of this throughout the regiments and without them, so much would fall apart in a blink of an eye" he told him.
"You, Armin, have one of the most gifted minds I have ever seen, you can pick up and memorise things as easy as breathing and bring it back out just the same; a soldier isn't just about being strong or fast, it takes different attitudes and different mindsets to make them, all are different in their own ways, but that difference makes them all stronger".
"You're the smartest in the class, and I specifically angled the test towards you today to prove my point, likely only you would get the answers and everyone else would struggle, I was waiting for you to step in and help them and when you did…".
"We all passed, because of me…" Armin said taken aback.
"Exactly, stop doubting yourself, you're strong in your own ways and in my eyes, you could be the strongest of them all" Henning said with his usual serious look, "Now I ask you, Option one, abandon your squad and comrades while continuing to doubt yourself and never getting out of your shell" he said harshly.
"Or Option two, grow up and support your comrades when they need you most and prove that you can be more than just a coward, it's your choice, the cowards way out or the chance to prove yourself" he hissed harshly before standing up and extending both items towards him.
Armin looked between both weighing up everything Henning had said, when it came down to it, he was right, it took more than just strength to become a soldier and Armin always was the brains but how often did that come in useful.
When they were kids, Eren and Mikasa always came to save him, to look after him so regularly, what good did his brains do then, he couldn't think his way out of a fight, was that even possible, he might even endanger people's lives.
He looked towards the paper feeling it calling him, he knew deep in his heart that might be the better option, for not just him but everyone, they might even be safer without a coward like him.
A coward is all he was.
He extended his hand towards the paper, but something was stopping him, the feeling of guilt wracking his heart, as he looked at the paper all he could feel was pain; this was the route he'd always taken, when he would be saved, he would cower in the corner while Eren and Mikasa got hurt.
When he was yelled at, he'd hide behind others, when he messed up, he'd let it always hold him down, his doubts would always keep him back, the feeling of regret was always lingering inside his heart, when he never stepped up to the plate.
When he let his grandfather go to his death, he always thought he should've insisted, or begged him to stay or maybe even gone with him, maybe he could've pulled him back, forced him to stay with him.
But no, Armin stayed silent and watched him leave and never come back, to be eaten somewhere far away from him, with no one there for him.
Armin now looked at the paper, his cowards option with a distinctive look, not one of certainty but one of pure hate, he was tired of it, tired of being a coward, of seeming a coward, hiding, and letting others pull his weight, no he refused to let it happen anymore.
Slowly he took the paper from Henning's hand, making the man sigh in disappointment.
But the look of surprise he gave when Armin ripped the paper in half and snatched back his jacket from his hand, now wearing it with pride, "I refuse to be a coward!" he exclaimed putting up a salute of respect.
Henning grinned seeing the boys conviction and returning a salute of his own, "Don't tell me, show me cadet, and show your comrades, dismissed!" he called back.
Armin exited the room, he knew nothing in there made him stronger, faster, more agile or anything that would help him in the training, but he didn't care, he refused to be labelled a coward anymore or even as a weakling, from now on he would push and keep pushing until he graduated, and then one day he'd see the ocean with his own eyes standing proudly on its shores not hiding behind someone's shadow.
This had lit a new fire inside Armin, one of determination, one he would never let be extinguished.
He could be both strong and reliable, in his own ways.
Henning smiled as he looked out the window as Armin left to be greeted by his comrades, "See a bit of yourself in him huh?" Lynne said walking up behind him having heard the entire ordeal.
Henning turned to face his friend, "He reminds me of myself sometimes, back when I was a cadet" Henning smiled a little again, "Is it wrong to want to see him get the same chance I got?".
"Nah I think anyone would do the same as you, especially when you meet someone who is so similar to how you used to be" she smiled leaning against the wall by the window, "Come on, lets go get a drink Mr Sombre" she laughed nudging him in the ribs.
Henning smiled before casing one last glance out the window and following suit.
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Since chapters are shorter, I'm trying to get to a weekly release schedule so just bear with me as I try to get it down, currently aimed for every two weeks with the hope of getting it down to the one with work permitting.