Project Demon

by Obsidian Pegasus

Hey kids! Wanna know how to kill S-Rank shinobi with nothing but creativity, chakra control and techniques everybody says are B-Rank and below? (Note: They aren't. That's B-Rank and below mentality.) SI-OC. OC/Tenten. Lotsa world building. Upgraded, altered, and/or de-nerfed significant characters. Have fun! (URGENT NOTICE: My computer died. Next update will take a bit of time...)

13. Chapter 12

Happy 2025, all! Hope the year's treating you guys well so far.

It's been a blessing so far, albeit one interspersed with incredibly annoying happenstance. I have food (I spent the majority of 2024 on an involuntary weight loss program *shrugs*), my home is still intact, I'm having a baller in varsity (which made me busier than I expected, sooo… slow updates on this one guys, sorry), and my family lives and they too have food and home, which is most certainly a huge blessing. My laptop DIED, though. To be precise, the hard drive just up and bricked on me, which was quite annoying and that prevented me from writing efficiently or getting this chapter posted up earlier for that matter. Thankfully, I got it fixed, so things are A-OK at the moment. Hopefully my good luck holds, because holy cow, 2024 was a MESS for me.

On to the fanfic stuff though - and here you guys in particular have blessed me. Absolutely crazy to see that you guys love this dumb keyboard vomit I wrote. Over 1400 follows (which, what?!), 1000 favorites (again, what?!) and coming inches close to 200 freakin' reviews is no simple accomplishment, especially for me. I've never had a reception like this for anything I ever wrote.

I mean, damn. Hard to believe that nine years ago I was practically begging people to read my nonsense, and now you guys are reading my nonsense and somehow even enjoying it. Holy shit, man. Just… wow.

Thank you.

All of you, even the few haters somewhere in there. I'm glad to have all of you as my audience. Hope I can keep y'all entertained in the future, and the standards I set for this get exceeded as I keep writing and even when I'm handling other projects in the future.

I've also been approached by a few artists wanting me to commission some fan art, and that's really a huge honor. Thank you for your offers, for real. We'll talk biz, we will. For now, the matter of the cover page is settled - a concept pic of Minato himself, created by me via VRoid Studio. I'm also working on some more drawings about and around this fic, and I'll create some places to post those drawings when they are ready (I'm not exactly a world class artist - for now - plus I can't afford to get into digital art proper at the moment... sigh).

But that's enough from me. Here's your serving of some good ol' Project Demon. Today, I'm pleased and honored to introduce to you fine folk a special guest, and he'll be saying a couple of things about the future. You're familiar with him… or, at least, you think you are.

Enjoy!

---

Chapter 12

LEAF Team Six (Part 3)

---

Relevant Interlude: Hiruzen Sarutobi

Hiruzen sighed as he went over his endless paperwork.

There were many things he was willing to do for Konoha. Things he had done, up to and including acts that he simply was not proud of; some would haunt him for the rest of his days and question the Elemental Nations' almost compulsive need for perpetual warmongering. He would do and had done what was necessary for Konoha.

There were times, however, when he lamented being so willing to take up the hat again. In all fairness, nobody had ever considered needing a successor to Naruto's father; as Hokage, he wasn't exactly in the position to travel all over the Elemental Nations. That wasn't a problem for long, because Itachi Uchiha came to prove himself a worthy potential candidate to invest in. Young, and yet talented, wise beyond his years, surprisingly pacifistic, and utterly, utterly loyal to Konoha. Even Danzo could not find fault with him; Danzo, student of Senju Tobirama-sensei, who judged the Uchiha more harshly than most. He didn't hate them, elsewise he wouldn't have formed the Police, he just… held them to far higher standards than most. Danzo was no different. And Danzo found no cause to doubt the loyalty of Itachi. There couldn't have been a worthier successor even if someone dropped three more onto Hiruzen's lap.

Was it to be? Of course not. Why would the kami let him have it that easy? In some inexplicable turn of insanity, the poor fool snapped under the unforeseen strain of his work and slaughtered his entire clan.

He wasn't the only one – that was simply impossible – but he was the only perpetrator they found.

Why? Who gained from that? What was the point? Why, again, was the world so determined to kill itself? The Uchiha Clan's brewing discontent was history. Hiruzen had personally paid Fugaku a visit one night, and told him he intended to groom his son to becoming Minato's successor as Hokage.

(Coincidentally, reports of sharply decreased hostility from the Uchiha clan found his desk over the next few days. As did a small gift from Danzo.)

Itachi was perfect. His loyalty was utterly unquestionable. He was exceptionally intelligent, succulently talented, humble as a servant, and the strength of his leadership needed only be exemplified by his Captainship at the same age most children graduated from the Academy.

Even Minato hadn't made it that far as a shinobi at the same age, genius or not, and he was shaping up to be the best Hokage in Konoha's history, better even than Tobirama-sensei… until, of course, the suicidal fool decided to sacrifice himself to stop the Kyūbi.

Oh, what could have been… what a waste.

In spite of being struck by disaster after disaster in the past twenty-two years, Konoha stood strong, and it stood strong because it valued unity over everything else.

That, in some ways, posed a problem.

Community engendered strength. Strength invited challenge. Challenge was conflict. And conflict was disaster.

Konoha won the Shinobi War for the third time running, yet lost the man who won it for them. Hiruzen secured a successor, lost him, then secured another and lost him too.

Even fate saw fit to challenge Konoha.

What next? She taunted. Who next, Hiruzen?

The Recovery Plan was ticking along quite well, but the crux on whom the plan rested was far from ready for the hat. He did not have the talent of his father, not truly, but he had the tenacity of his mother and the sprout of a charisma that had the potential to surpass them both.

Charisma was a good trait for a future Kage. Tenacity, however, flowered like an apple tree.

So, devoid of many choices, Hiruzen looked for successors where he wouldn't normally look for successors. At the age of 67, he was far too old for his role.

He looked, and he found three candidates forthwith: Kakashi, Jiraiya, and Tsunade.

How many would yearn for a chance like this?

None of them.

Kakashi had cleverly taken advantage of an accidental loophole in regulations that nixed him from candidacy for at least another four years. There was a bit of a niggle, something of an unfortunately necessary thorn in his side, called the Toshiro Principle - ratified five years ago by Hiruzen and his Council.

By participating in the full term of service as an ANBU Operative until three years ago, Kakashi was not allowed to participate in any more extremely high-stakes or black-ops jobs for seven years. This law Hiruzen designated to give retired operatives the space to recover mentally from the demanding, excruciating, and even traumatizing nature of ANBU work. No re-joining ANBU, no more than four S-Rank missions within those seven years outside of a serious emergency, and, most significantly, no consideration for Hokage candidacy within that period.

There was no point in making a shinobi strong enough to crush armies if their minds were not as strong. Strength in heaven necessitated strength on earth, as his father used to say, and so many – himself included – that that principle went both ways.

Toshiro Yamanaka was the boy that cried 'Wolf!', and yet, unknown to everyone, the wolf was always there.

It waited in the shadows, patient, silent, and when the time came, when it knew that Konoha would do nothing, it surged forward and snapped its jaws in the killing bite, and the Uchiha paid the price.

There was no point in training a shinobi by pretending that training made their humanity vanish. There was no point in asking everything of a shinobi if they could not bear the strain.

Stripping them of their emotions didn't work.

Danzo knew that better than anyone. His earliest incarnation of ROOT was a cadre of specially trained black ops Shinobi; tenacious, ruthless, emotionless.

It didn't work. Infiltration and information gathering was part and parcel of the shinobi's trade. And how could one reliably gather information from the best source of it – humans – if one could not understand the emotions that drove habit? How could one understand the nature of killing if one could not feel the emotions pertaining to it? Shame, relief, anger, trauma, even unmitigated joy? How could they differentiate a killing of passion from methodical murder disguised with passion? These emotions informed the motive, and they even informed the past and future actions of the person or people feeling them, how they would move, how they could be guided or manipulated.

ROOT Squad One was a failure – and Hiruzen was glad the Third Shinobi War put them out of their suffering.

The Toshiro Principle was a law he had instated both in consideration of urgent and persistent recommendations from the Yamanaka Clan (most notably, Toshiro), who knew the human mind like none other, as well as the face of multiple disasters that ultimately forced the Hokage to consider more sustainable alternatives to regrowing the strength of the village.

The Yugakure Incident. The Demon Country Massacre. Project Dokugiri. The Sunagakure Incident. The Kyūbi Attack. The Uchiha Massacre. The brief cold war with Kumo.

If Ōnoki hadn't decided to sit on the fence and watch the action play out before acting, as defined his career and reign…

Given other considerations, like the Post-Kyūbi Recovery Plan – which was a tremendous success by all metrics so far – the institution of several training programs across the Shinobi forces, and especially the messy aftermath of the Uchiha Massacre - which had ultimately vindicated Toshiro's repeated warnings on the toll of ANBU work - the wizened Hokage had on balance decided it was not just wise, but necessary to reorganize recruitment and retirement policies. As much as Konoha needed to bolster the number of their forces, both conventional and ANBU, that was a pointless endeavor if the forces in question couldn't handle the stresses of the job and reacted... poorly, to said stresses.

They did not need another Uchiha Itachi.

They did not need another Tōji Mizuki.

They did not need another ROOT Squad One.

What did it say about the world that Konoha - no, Hiruzen - needed to be burnt three times and more to understand that an uncontrolled fire would only burn everything? How many times until he finally understood for himself that not everyone could endure, no matter how much they fooled themselves into believing they could?

How many times had Toshiro warned him? How many times had Tsunade?

To think about the Massacre in particular galled him. What a waste of such a prestigious clan; what a waste of a fine potential successor, to boot!

Hiruzen shook his head and scoffed ruefully, reordering his thoughts and trying to focus on his paperwork.

But again, his regrets encroached.

Kakashi had four years to go, and Hiruzen was more than ready to ensure that he would have nowhere to run once the period ran its course.

Jiraiya probably would've made for a good Hokage himself; however, his work in maintaining the Konoha Network's foreign operations was too vital. The only way Jiraiya would become Hokage was if he could pass on his position in the Network, and he was incredibly stubborn about taking on an apprentice. Not that he could blame him. Twice he had tried to pass on his skills to the next generation, and twice the next generation fell long before their time. Hiruzen still felt the spy was too harsh on himself, but still… it would likely take nothing less than an inexplicable miracle to make him consider taking on a student again.

Tsunade…

He sighed and shook his head in lamentation for his wayward students.

He closed his thoughts forcefully, steeled himself, and focused on his work.

What's this? A request to assign watchers to – no, not this again. With an irritated grunt, he picked up the red stamp and tetchily denied the request.

"Ferret," he called, and his assistant appeared faithfully before him.

"Hokage-sama."

Hiruzen held up the sheaf of paper he'd just stamped down. "Explain to Utatane-san that I will be most displeased if we must have this conversation again. We do not have the resources to assign to this waste of time, and I have no desire to provoke a self-fulfilling prophecy. I have made my decision; it is final. Understood?"

"On it, Hokage-sama." Without another word, Ferret took the paper and left.

Hiruzen sighed and shook his head as he made ready to get back to work… then stilled when he felt a familiar presence nearby. Oh?

Hiruzen leaned on the right arm of his chair, waited a moment, then gave leave to enter his office when the expected knocks came in.

Shimura Danzo entered, and Hiruzen stood to greet him.

"Old friend," Danzo greeted, and they bowed to each other.

"A pleasure to see you once more, Danzo," Hiruzen smiled.

"As it is for me to see you, Hiruzen," the Shimura clan elder replied.

"It has been some time."

"That it has, indeed. The nature of our work comes to no end." Danzo cast a disdainful eye on the paperwork on Hiruzen's desk, eliciting a chuckle from the wizened Hokage. He would never admit it aloud, but it was doubtless one of the reasons Danzo had rejected the candidacy. Managing a black-ops detachment of one organization was one thing, but the entire village? At his age?

Hiruzen chuckled once more at the thought.

"I am pleased to know you find great amusement in my prejudices," Danzo jabbed dryly.

"As have you in mine at some moment or another, Danzo," Hiruzen shot back with a small grin. "Tea?"

"Young Atsushi's brew is not a joy I experience often," Danzo conceded. "We must relish such moments whenever we can."

"They are transient… much like our years remaining." Hiruzen agreed, and called for his secretary, Fujikake Atsushi, to bring them two cups over the intercom.

"Indeed." Danzo sighed; one of the few concessions he'd ever make to his years. "A shame about the untimely end to her career. She was promising."

"She was," Hiruzen agreed ruefully. "As were… many."

Still, her eye for detail and zeal for thoroughness made her an exceptional secretary... although there were moments where she took altogether too much pleasure in punishing him with paperwork. Disrespectful little shit. "So, to what do I owe the pleasure of your visit, Danzo?"

"Mm," Danzo grunted, shifting slightly in his seat. "I have observed some… disquieting events, of late, outside the village. We have observed, and Jiraiya confirmed, that Orochimaru has been sighted recently, in Rice Country."

"Truly?" Hiruzen's eyes sharpened. "Could it have been him?"

"Even censored, his aura is unmistakable," Danzo asserted; he said nothing about whether Orochimaru had sighted his tail. He did not need to – Hiruzen knew his fallen student well enough. "He was sighted not far from the capital."

Hiruzen's eyes widened in alarm. "The capital? He wouldn't…"

"He would," Danzo nodded. "He intends to curry favor with the Daimyo."

"And who else but that fool, Kirihara? We must notify our Daimyo," Hiruzen decided. "Our relations are not as close as I would like, but surely he would not go so far."

"Jiraiya is on his way there," Danzo assured. "I believe he may escort Shijimi-sama to our village, as well."

An amused grin drew itself on Hiruzen's lips, and even Danzo's eyes gleamed in some measure of glee.

"Ah, so it is nearly time. Who are we, to defy tradition?" Hiruzen uttered in feigned solemnity.

Danzo hummed once; a deep, serious sound to anyone else, but his equivalent of a chuckle. The flow of conversation abated for a moment, as the old men shared a moment of camaraderie and young Atsushi entered the office with their beverages.

After she left, Danzo took a sip of his tea, and said, "I have received word of another… interesting incident. I am told your office was besieged by a burglar of such skill so as to evade even the ANBU."

"Your ears are as sharp as ever," Hiruzen conceded.

"Am I to trust that our derelict operatives have been duly chastised?"

"Truth be told, I saw no call to be truly harsh with them," the Hokage admitted easily. "I have found that the whirlwind of chaos our burglar may sometimes subject our troubled village to could rival even his forebears on their worst of days."

Danzo shuddered in remembered trauma. Ah, Hiruzen hid a grin, he must be remembering the time he ran afoul of Mito-sama's wrath. "You are not wrong. Although, I suspect there was a reason that his assault on this tower had progressed to such a point; one that I cannot solely attribute to our failing security. One, I might speculate, not unrelated to the indisposition of a certain… misaligned instructor."

"You are not wrong," Hiruzen echoed.

"Ah. Is it true that he graduated?"

"It seems his training was quite effective."

"And it is true that his intended trainer is another certain monocular Elite?"

Hiruzen nodded.

"Not an unfitting choice, I suppose," Danzo conceded. "Not especially in the light of your intentions for him. Though I must inquire of his teammates. Operative Chameleon is confident of the potential of one boy, I hear… but is the other boy truly a wise choice?"

"Naruto…" Hiruzen rallied his argument methodically, and Danzo bore him with patience, "Is rough around the edges. He has improved substantially from the advent of this year, that much is true, but there is still work to be done. Though I believe that if there is one trait he has inherited generously from his parents… it is their charisma."

"Ah." That was all Danzo needed to say. He instantly understood Hiruzen's plan. "That is a risky gamble."

"I know," Hiruzen admitted. "But he is an astute young man. We cannot risk triggering his disloyalty, not with the potential he has to offer the village. Doing it any other way might arouse his suspicions and cause unnecessary complications."

"His discovery is only a matter of time," Danzo warned. "What then?"

"If it cannot be done, then it cannot be done," Hiruzen shrugged mercilessly. "This will be Kakashi's task. Though I loathe to ready such a drastic resort… our future is still in question. No one is ready, and not for some time yet. They must be, and we must harbor no more disruptions until then."

"They will be. One way or another." The men sighed slightly and stood, as Danzo readied his departure. "Thank you for your time, Hiruzen."

"Thank you for yours, Danzo. Pass my regards to Sai?"

"He will be grateful for your esteem. Until we meet again, Hokage-sama."

---

Minato Yakushi.

Man, we're cooked. We are so cooked. I can't believe this is happening.

I groaned quietly, resisting the urge to drop my head into my hands.

"We're boring?!" our resident blond troublemaker growled. "At least we can keep time!"

"Oh, I'm late? Oops!" The Jōnin had the gall to eye-smile at us. "Meet me on the roof, we'll talk stuff and things."

Before anyone could get a word in edgewise, the man himself vanished. That good ol' Jōnin speed at work again.

"Unbelievable," I groaned. "Of all the people we had to get as a sensei… it had to be Hatake Kakashi."

"I didn't know you knew Hatake-san personally," Jin said, raising an eyebrow.

"I don't know him, I know of him," I corrected. "He's one of the best Jōnin we have in the village, end of discussion. However, from what I hear, he's also a frustratingly persistent troll, and constantly late to anything and everything."

"Hm. I knew about the fact that he's an Elite Jōnin; my grandmother said he's an infamous shinobi who has stolen many techniques and secrets from other villages, but the rest… where'd you hear these things?"

"Village gossip," I said bluntly.

It was a true-blue, one-size-fits-pretty-much-everything excuse. If there was one thing this village could be counted on for, it was the flow of information. Sure, it wasn't as accessible as the internet, but like said internet, it was everywhere for the taking. In this world, a guy only had to be particular about keeping their ears pricked, not giving the impression of eavesdropping, and keeping a steady gait that allowed full processing of information. I trained that skill on my off-time because I'd be a complete idiot not to, and there was a lot of information I could say I gained simply from paying attention to people without paying attention to people.

The library being chock-full of useful data helped a lot, too. I was a library nerd in my previous life, and the Academy making it so accessible made it easy to fall into that habit, too. I was gonna do the same with the ninja library we had, once I figured out when I'd be allowed to borrow the damn jutsu scrolls.

(Note to self: take care of that later. Also return one of them.)

Jin hummed in acquiescence, and from there we made our way out. I considered just wall-walking, but I didn't feel like showing off too much. I'd be getting plenty of exercise, one way or another, in due time.

Besides, I had the feeling that Kakashi probably didn't bother to do any reading on us…

Canon supported me on that, by the way. He tried a low-level genjutsu on Sakura without ever knowing that Academy Students weren't taught about genjutsu beyond the theory level (true facts, by the way; crazy how we got tested for wilderness survival but never learned a single genjutsu (no, the Academy Clone didn't count, shut up)), and was caught off-guard that Sasuke, a freaking 12-year-old Uchiha, had chakra coils strong enough to handle the Gōkakyū (I mean, wasn't Itachi his compatriot in ANBU?! At the same age as Sasuke?! Or was it the fact that they weren't – nah, nah, nah, Itachi's ass was famous one way or another; it still didn't make any sense!).

Everything else that may or may not have taken him by surprise – Naruto's little trick with the clones (that failed) or Sasuke's level of Taijutsu skill being apparently enough to get (and keep) his eyes off his precious Icha-Icha – I purely attributed to the fact that ol' 'Kashi was sandbagging for days. As he'd be doing with us: slow enough that we wouldn't die in instants, but still faster and better than anything we ever faced 'til now.

I mean, in all fairness, there's not a single Genin team he ever faced that could pose a threat to him, any more than a spit that completely missed – neither were we, by the way – but I figured it might well give me an edge in the test if I didn't show him all my cards.

(Wayment, do I want to pass this test? Shit.)

Anyway, we made our way up, got up on the roof (the view of Konoha was amazing), and sat on a nearby bench. I was on the left, Naruto in the middle, Jin right. Our prospective sensei was casually leaning on the railing, waiting for us, all patience and stillness in the way that all ninja of his caliber mastered. Except he disguised that with an aloof air, probably because he didn't feel like being all serious, or for the purpose of making us (read: Naruto) underestimate him.

Yeah, no. Not this time, bitch.

Wait, so I really wanna pass this test?!

… Ah, screw it. The timeline's borked to hell and back, anyway. Can't have a much better teacher than Kakashi Hatake, once we get his train rolling. Gotta do that, the earlier, the better.

"Great, everyone's here," he said cheerfully. "Now, how about introductions? Tell me about yourselves."

"Uh…" I stalled (pretended). "What do you want to know, Hatake-san?"

"Ah, the usual," our resident genius Jōnin said flippantly, "things you like, things you hate, your hobbies, ambitions… things like that." He gestured to me. "Why not have a go?"

"Uh, sure. My name is Yakushi Minato. I like reading, writing, and training. I dislike… well… I don't like getting injured since it prevents me from training, I guess?" I shrugged. "There's small things that irritate me, but I can't really say they're worth putting on some psych profile. Really unspecific. Anyway, hobbies! Uh… I train. Read. Write. Take walks around the village, explore, and hang out with Lee, my best friend. Ambitions… live a good life, become a teacher and pass on my experiences, gain knowledge and wisdom. I'm a simple guy, I guess. Good enough?"

"Sure, it'll do." Kakashi shrugged. "How about you, Blondie?"

"Sure!" Naruto adjusted his hitai-ate, probably a carryover habit from his goggle-clad days. "My name is Uzumaki Naruto! What I like is a good serving of instant cup ramen! I like it even better when I get a chance to eat a bowl of proper ramen at the Ichiraku Noodle Bar, especially after a nice day of training! What I hate is waiting for three minutes for water to boil for my cup ramen, or when anyone wastes ramen!"

Jin and I cast looks at Naruto. What an absolute noodle brain!

"My dream? I intend to become Hokage!"

Well, it wouldn't be Naruto if he didn't want the hat… or it'd be some hilarious multiversal bullshit going on. I see you, Kagaseo.

"Alright…" Kakashi ran a hand through his hair, and pointed to Jin Yuki. "Your turn!"

"My name is Yuki Jin," the aforementioned guy introduced himself. "I like reading, watching birds, and training. I dislike lazy people, bigots, and racists."

My idle thoughts came crashing to a halt. Wait, what?

"My dream… is to become stronger. One day, when I'm good enough to make a difference, I intend to help bring an end to the Mizu Civil War, and save all the clans from their persecution at the hands of Kiri and Karatachi Yagura!"

What? What?!

My eyes widened, seeing the utter intensity burning in his…

… His eyes. It was the first time that I ever saw the look of pure, unfiltered hatred in person like that. Man. On some level, it kinda scared me, because the times I'd ever seen people with that look in their eyes… those motherfuckers dealt in death.

Holy shit. This guy wants to bleed Kiri.

I had a good upbringing in my old life. I never got to have to see that kind of thing in person. But in the news, I mean… the decades, even centuries-old mess in the Middle East that even spread out to shape Western policy and ways of thinking, the Ukraine debacle, the outright skirmishes between NATO and Russia back in '27, with China almost (not really, but almost) jumping in on that bitch and kicking off WW3 in full…

(Heck, thinking about the Chinese, part of me wondered if they'd have used the unrestricted warfare plan if they did end up joining in on the fun… anyway, that was a Brad Thor problem. I'm a dead-ass motherfucker-cum-full-time ninja, y'all ain't my problem either!)

I'm not even including us random fuckwads on the internet being unreasonably passionate hating-ass bitches over the stupidest of debates and misinformation/disinformation, that's just internet-generated stupidity that was all the rage with us soft-ass modern people before I died. With Jin, I was talking real, weighted, killing hate. The guy had been so wronged by the world that he was absolutely willing to kill to make things right.

Like I said, on some small level it kinda scared me, but more than that…

How fucked up was it that it took me so long to see this? Was I really so… so self-absorbed, that this entire time, I never saw Jin's suffering? Or was he just that good at hiding it this whole entire time?

And that wasn't even getting into the other, bigger ramifications.

Jin is related to the Yuki Clan.

Damn. So Haku's not alone out there with Zabuza and a couple of random Chūnin.

Well, at least it's… good to have an answer to that question now, even if I really didn't put any effort towards finding out this whole time, anyway. And the fact that he's kept his name, here, despite probably being wanted by Kiri out east… Konoha knows about him. Do… do they intend to get involved in the Kiri civil war?

I thought about that for a moment.

Jeez. Canon just keeps getting mucked up the ass. I didn't even do anything! Okay, I may or may not have broken Team 7 but that was a complete accident my mouth was running and otherwise I genuinely didn't do anything!

"Right!" Kakashi clapped his hands, dispelling the bit of tension that built up there. "Good. Now that we've all introduced ourselves…"

"No, we haven't," Naruto shot him down. "We didn't hear anything about you."

"Oh, you haven't?" Kakashi's brows went up. "Huh. My apologies. Well, what to say… my name is Hatake Kakashi. I really don't feel like talking about what I like, or dislike… my dreams for the future? None of your business, really… hobbies, I have lots of hobbies, nothing particularly interesting…"

I snorted and rolled my eyes, as Jin and Naruto muttered to themselves. Trust Kakashi to speak like a politician – saying a whole lot of nothing with a whole lot of words.

Heh, no wonder he becomes Hokage.

"With all that established…" he continued, "I believe it's time we moved on to a more prominent subject. Tomorrow, boys… you have your first assignment: survival training."

I inclined my head attentively, making sure to hang on to every word.

"Roger that, Hatake-san!" Naruto saluted, grinning eagerly. "What's our mission?!"

"The mission, as I said… survival training."

"Is it training, or is it a mission, Hatake-san?" a confused Jin asked.

"Yes," the Jōnin said. I snorted, my amusement increasing at the further confused faces of Jin and Naruto. "Only, there's a twist. You've probably done survival exercises in the Academy, but the truth is, you've never had one like this. Because this time, you're surviving against me."

Silence.

I mean, he delivered that last sentence like Kendrick Lamar warning Drake off, but…

"… Okay?" I shrugged, making a 'Go on' gesture. "And?"

I saw his eye crinkle; he was smirking. "Do you really want to know what that's about? Truth be told, I don't have any faith that you won't chicken out."

"Why would we chicken out?" Naruto tilted his head in confusion.

"You had 27 graduates this year, yes?" he checked. "That's too bad. Because only nine of you will make the cut as full-time Genin."

My eyebrows went up. It was those little details I had to pay attention to that sold my game as the weak, unknowing Genin.

(Okay, I was weak, I'd cop to that.)

"Full-time?" Naruto echoed.

"Full-time?" Jin, too, repeated. "I thought we already were Genin?"

"No; your rank is provisional at this time." Kakashi waved his hand dismissively. "First, you pass this test, and if you do, then you become actual Genin."

I frowned, pretending to take that info in, and making the appropriate range of WTF faces.

"What?!" Naruto gaped. "So… w-we're not actually Genin?"

"Are you kidding?" Kakashi sneered. "Of course it wasn't going to be that easy. How ridiculous. The point of the graduation test was to separate the wheat from the chaff, so to speak; ridding the truly hopeless cases so our time isn't wasted. As for whether you three in particular can make the cut…"

His black eye bored down on all of us with unexpected intensity. My stomach actually rolled with the tension I felt from that aura. Shit. Freakin' Jōnin.

"We'll find out." Hooooly bejesus man's really selling this his voice went dark! Is that his ANBU Captain voice? "Meet me at Training Ground 7. 0600, sharp. Bring all your tools, all your equipment, all your techniques. You'll all need the best you can give."

He turned, making to leap off the roof, then some thought occurred to him.

"Oh!" he said in a lighter tone, almost making me face-fault. Why is this guy's tone all over the place?!

"One more thing, little Genin-wannabes. I wouldn't eat if I were you. I mean, unless you enjoy throwing up. Later!"

He vanished again; this time, in a puff of smoke.

Silence. Then I broke it, with the age-old, age-appropriate adage.

"Well, shit."

"Can you please not swear?" Jin grumbled.

"Huh?" I turned to him.

"You swear all the time. It's getting old. Stop it."

"I'd say it's pretty appropriate in this situation, though."

"No, it isn't!"

---

"Okay. Let's talk about tomorrow."

Teuchi Ichiraku's ramen was actually pretty damn good. Easy to see why Naruto just wouldn't shut up about it. He, Jin, and I came to this place, totally on random choice.

(Naruto's incessant whining and begging had nothing to do with it whatsoever. Nossir.)

Thankfully, while Jin did have a murder boner like Sasuke, he was a much more reasonable person and less inclined to the lone warrior bullshit. Getting him to come along with us wasn't hard… and it would make my mission of directing them towards the most likely (real) answer of Kakashi's test much easier.

"Can we even pass it?" Jin wondered. "Hatake-san is one of this village's best shinobi; even if he wasn't, he's still Jōnin – a Big Five Jōnin, no less. Can we beat him?"

Big Five Jōnin. Interesting terminology. If it means what I think it means, it's actually surprising that he even knows about that term, at his age.

"What's a Big Five Jōnin?" Naruto cued in while trying not to inhale his ramen. Aha. Bingo.

"Exactly what it says on the tin, Uzumaki-san. A Jōnin from one of the Big Five villages. Konoha, Suna, Iwa, Kumo… Kiri. The average shinobi from these villages tends to be stronger than many of those from the other hidden villages around the Elemental Nations… especially Jōnin and Kage."

"Ah, okay." The blond nodded in understanding. Thank God, he's at marginally smarter than his room temperature IQ canon counterpart. We'd probably have to explain that to him in even simpler words, somehow, if he was like his canon self.

Jin nodded. "Still, the question remains."

"He'll sandbag," I waved dismissively. "C'mon. I'm not even remotely worried about that. It's crazy to think that a Jōnin of all things would even need to go full force against Academy babies like us. No, I don't think the point of that test will be to beat him. Surviving against him, that's a given, but I believe there's something else he's looking for."

"But what… mmm… vhat fuld fat be?" Naruto asked. I sighed, giving him an unimpressed look.

"Naruto!" Ayame chided from the back. "Swallow, then talk!"

"Sorry, Ayame-nee!"

Jin looked at me expectantly. "You were saying? What do you think he's looking for?"

"I'm not sure…" I lied with a hum. "Let's think about it. 27 graduates are 27 additions to the village's ranks. Yet only nine of us could make the cut into four-man squads. Three teams of three Genin, one Jōnin. Why? What do we need to make the cut?"

"Wait," Jin stalled me. "How do you know it'll specifically be a four-man squad? Why wouldn't it be nine Genin apprenticed to nine Jōnin, then the rest, what, get sorted into Genin Corps or something?"

"Because that's how we work," I replied easily. "I've seen it, and we have historical precedence, too. We're the first hidden village to deploy shinobi in squads. Three lower-ranked shinobi, with one upper-rank shinobi to serve as team leader. Can be a Genin-Chūnin squad, a Chūnin-Jōnin squad, or a Genin-Jōnin squad. There's always the occasional master-apprentice setup, but from what I've seen, every basic team in this village is set up as a four-man squad. Always."

"Huh. That does make sense. I've seen it, too," Jin realized.

"The ANBU do things a little differently," Naruto offered, "but yeah, from what I've seen of everybody else's teams, it's pretty much like that."

Praise be to whoever gave this motherfucker some goddamn training. Smart-ish Naruto, what an advantage to have!

"But I thought it was only for missions," Jin said. "That's how it's done in…" he made a vague head gesture, then just flatly said "Kiri."

As if it was a disgusting bit of phlegm he had to spit out quickly.

"It's not impossible," I shrugged. "But think about it. Everyone else followed our footprint on squad setups because we proved it works. Plus, through three Shinobi Wars, we still hit the hardest in low-number skirmishes, more than anyone else. I think I know why – because the squads aren't usually one-time teams; we're assigned together on a more long-term basis, maybe even permanently. The Sannin are the best example I can bring up… well, at least before… y'know."

"Before that snake guy became a missing-nin," Naruto nodded. "Yeah, Dra – I mean, I read about it once."

Dra? I wondered. Who the hell is Dra? Whose name did he mean to say before cutting himself off? Is that his trainer?

I hummed, deciding not to push him. Meh. Keep your secrets. For all I know, it's somebody I know with a code name, or it's some shitty OC with a European name for some reason, like Ghost in that one fanfic. Pushing him for info might be somewhat, uh… awfully fucking suspicious, which I prefer not to be…

"So," I continued, with that being (un)said, "with that being said, the reason we work this way is because it's super effective. 'Four on the job is better than one on the job.'"

"That's the First Hokage," Naruto snapped his fingers at me. "I think it was, uh… in the War Committee discussing the plan against… it was Suna, right?"

He was mostly right. That was… actually kind of impressive. "Actually, it was Kusa. We didn't start fighting Suna in that war until about a year later, but… nice to see somebody knows somethin' bout their history."

"I mostly read for the Hokage stuff in it," he admitted shamelessly.

"Huh…" Jin sweat-dropped, and I chuckled. Go figure.

"Another thing," I continued, "You know the real reason I think it's more than likely that Hatake-san's looking to take us on in a four-man squad, and not just one apprentice? Think about it. Naruto, if you were Hokage –"

"Coming soon," said prospective Hokage cut in.

"Yeah, exactly. But if you were the Hokage right now, then a shinobi of Jōnin quality – and that goes double for an Elite Jōnin – would you rather have him passing his skills on to only one shinobi, or to three at once? Which is better for increasing the overall strength of the village?"

"Hm…" Jin considered it. "That's a good point."

"Yeah, I'd definitely have him teach a team," Naruto agreed. "I think Hokage-jiji would want them doing the same thing, too. So, what then? What's all that got to do with anything?"

"Everything," I said, grinning. "I think – maybe I'm wrong but I am pretty confident about this – but I think that whatever happens, we're gonna have to learn to work as a team. Maybe that's what Hatake-san's looking for. Maybe that's what all the Jōnin are looking for, even. Because if they're gonna be passing on their skills and experience, they gotta maximize their returns on that end. Can't teach a squad your skills if your squad can't even work together, you know?"

"Mhm. Sounds good to me," Naruto nodded after a moment of thought (and chewing up his ramen).

"What if he's looking for something else?" Jin probed. I liked how he was trying to consider as many angles as possible. Might make for a critical thinking-type shinobi, as long as he didn't let that overwhelm him into believing that literally everything in the world had a deadly angle.

"What are you thinking?"

"What if he'd want us to take on him separately, for some reason?"

"What would he be testing that the Academy already hasn't?" I rebutted. "The three of us are some of the best kids of our year, in some way or another. But that probably won't mean a thing now that we're out of the Academy and the training wheels are off. Nah, it makes more sense to test something we're not used to, instead."

Jin could see where I was going with it. "Like teamwork."

"Like teamwork. We don't stand a chance against that guy, so we're best taking on him together either way."

"I nailed him in the head with a duster, though," Naruto pointed out.

Jin and I rolled our eyes. "He let you do that," we both said, simultaneously, and I reflexively pointed at the potential future Ice Prince.

"Ha! Jinx, bitch!"

I faltered at the weirded-out looks Jin and Naruto gave me… and wilted under the disapproving stare of Ayame Ichiraku and Jin. "…Sorry."

I cleared my throat. "Anyway, what I'm thinking is, whatever happens, we're gonna have to band ourselves together against him to even stand the slightest chance against his sandbagging a –" I cast a glance to Ayame, who I knew was not happy about my language. Just so, she stood in the back, ladle swinging ominously and a gimlet eye cast on me.

Jeez.

"– sandbagging self. And in order to work together, we gotta know what each of us are capable of."

"How about you start, then?" Jin asked.

"Sure." I shrugged. "I'm decent at taijutsu, far better at ninjutsu, and my genjutsu's a work in progress. Weakness, I'm still slow, which means my tactics don't work as well as they should sometimes."

"Didn't know you were learning genjutsu," Jin raised a brow at me.

"I read one from the Konoha Library," I explained. "Going off memory."

Jin hummed thoughtfully, then nodded in acceptance.

"They let you in the library?" Naruto blurted out, and I saw a frown on him.

"Well, yeah, since I was a Genin. I wasn't allowed to take any jutsu scrolls out from it, though."

"Oh." I raised a brow, watching a complicated expression come over his face. More of that classic Jinchūriki mistreatment, huh?

Y'know, Konoha was lucky Naruto was more stupid stubborn than Gaara.

"Your turn, y'all," I pointed out.

"Sure," Jin acquiesced, "It's only polite. My strengths lie in ninjutsu, physical strength, and open combat. I also have decently strong chakra reserves for my age. Whether I'm better than you… is something we'll have to find out some time."

I couldn't help it; I grinned. I wasn't all that strong, but I was strong enough to enjoy testing my ability against someone else. It was something all fighters had, I believed. "Bring it."

"My weakness… mm, I'm not gonna lie, sometimes I overthink on what I want to do. My grandmother also tends to complain about my lack of precision, so I guess that's something to work on."

"Hm." I nodded. "Your shurikenjutsu didn't seem so bad to me, though. And I'm saying this as Tenten's friend. You know that girl has freaky aim."

"Well, my family has higher standards," Jin shrugged. "Guess it's something to work on."

I gave him a nod. "Well, that's what we here for, mate. Naruto?"

"Well, I kick a ton of butt!" he declared with way more cheer than warranted.

Bruh. Jin and I gave him unimpressed looks, and held them until he caved. "Okay. So I'm pretty cool with taijutsu, but my ninjutsu is way better."

"Since when?" Jin raised a brow. "Your Bunshin isn't all that hot."

"Heh!" Naruto grinned cockily. "I got another Bunshin type jutsu up my sleeve."

"Oh yeah, I remember," I said. "Hana-sensei told us about that one; said that was why you got the mark on your Ninjutsu score in spite of it being… y'know, pretty average. What kinda jutsu is it anyway?"

"Eh, I wish I could show y'all, but the ANBU have a serious thing about using Ninjutsu in public outside of an emergency," Naruto shrugged. "Maybe later."

"Okay," I shrugged. "How about your shurikenjutsu?"

"… I'm working on it," Naruto parried, and not too smoothly at that.

"And your chakra control," Jin added. "And your stealth. And your speed. And your Bunshin. And –"

"Knock it off!" Naruto snorted. "My stealth is better than you think, anyway."

"With all that?" Jin cast a dubious look at Naruto's get up. All orange and blue, of course. How'd he get a sensei that sharpened up his basics but didn't convince him to train his fashion sense, too?

(Guess Naruto was just that stubborn.)

Naruto only grinned at him. "I'll let my skill do the talking tomorrow."

"Okay then, little bad boy." Jin snorted. "We'll see. But anyway, now that that's out of the way…" he turned to me. "What's your plan?"

I rubbed my hands in anticipation. "Well, I'm glad you asked, Jin-san. First things first…"

---

Kakashi Hatake.

The Next Morning.

Maybe asking them to go here was a mistake.

In his defense, Kakashi hadn't exactly anticipated Hana's mini-me being neurotically punctual. Being an hour earlier than the actual meeting time was not in the Jōnin's bingo book. He was paying his respects at the Stone, too, then looking around as if expecting someone to show up!

Who gossiped about Jōnin visiting the Memorial Stone?!

Dammit, fine. So I don't get to visit my team yet. I guess I'll explore the village for a few hours just to mess with them…

Five hours, Asuma's backpack, two bells, his alarm clock (a comically ironic gift from Obito, of all people, from the first and at the time only time he was late), and three store-bought bento boxes later, he walked into Training Ground 7, normally, and almost grinned at the trio of young, extremely annoyed faces. He hadn't even started the test, and they looked so done with him. Just the way he liked it!

"YOU'RE LATE!" Naruto roared furiously. Bless him, his impression of his mother just didn't quite hold up enough to trigger his lizard brain.

He shrugged helplessly. "Well, a black cat crossed my path, so I had to take the long way around. Y'know, to ward off the bad luck."

"LIAR!" How eloquent, Naruto.

"Oh, we're so sorry for your harrowing experience, Hatake-san," Hana's mini-me drawled, voice dripping with sarcasm. "Did it work? Is your fortune safe?"

"Fingers crossed," Kakashi replied with serene sarcasm.

"So are mine."

"Well, I'm glad you show concern for my health," the Elite Jōnin smiled at him. "Now, time for your test, I believe."

"After all this fucking time?" Hana's mini-me muttered, rubbing his forehead. I even got to him. Wonderful!

"Language," the young Yuki scolded. "But he's right. That was four hours ago."

Three out of three. Perfect.

Now to double down.

"That is true," Kakashi conceded, shrugging.

"And?!" Naruto demanded, arms out, clearly expecting an apology.

"And what?"

"I… you… ARGH!"

"Well, since we've all gone past that now –"

"Like hell we have!"

"– in this backpack," Kakashi continued, utterly unruffled, "I have three bento boxes I bought for you."

He grinned, hearing two stomachs audibly expressing their…

Two?

"You ate?!" Jin and Naruto whirled on the Yakushi kid. Wonderful, everyone was dancing to his tune before he'd even begun playing any…

"Y'all didn't?!" the orange-haired kid shot back, sounding genuinely surprised.

"He ordered us not to!"

"That didn't sound like an order to me!"

"Huh?! It was!"

"Was it?" Oops, the kids decided to get him into their little comedy show.

"Hm? Did you say something?" The Jōnin blinked.

Hana's mini-me snorted, all but rolling his eyes. "Did you order us not to eat?"

"Me?" Kakashi layered surprise into his voice. "When?"

"Yesterday!" the Yuki growled. Huh, he was rather cranky without a good meal, wasn't he?

Silence. Kakashi let it hang.

There was an art to these things.

The kid opened his mouth to demand an answer, but apparently some measure of good sense was left in him, because he shut his mouth.

"… Me? When?" the Jōnin repeated.

"Oh, boy." As he watched him facepalm, Kakashi made a note to thank Hana's little mini-me for giving him such a comedic opening.

"What the fuck…" Naruto groaned, grabbing his hair as if trying to rip it off. Jin, on the other hand, started twitching with poorly disguised violence. He didn't even bother correcting Naruto about his language.

"Anyway!" the silver-haired ninja interjected into the irritated interlude with far too much cheer, popping over to the stump and putting the lunches on it. "These boxes are for you, if you pass the test. As for what you need to pass the test…" He reached into the bag, extricating the alarm bell. "You need to grab a little something before this bell rings at twelve. As to what that is…"

Time for the Sarutobi Special.

"See these?" He whipped out two bells with a small trick. "You're gonna have to get them off me. Everyone who gets a bell, passes. Everyone who doesn't, doesn't."

"There's two bells." Yuki Jin pointed out flatly.

"Yes, yes there are."

"So, what, only two of us pass?"

He shrugged wordlessly. Hey, he didn't lie. If they assumed only two could pass, that was their problem.

The three of them stared at each other, though notably, Jin and Naruto were staring at the Yakushi kid. After a moment of facepalming and grumbling to himself, the kid bore the Jōnin down with a narrow-eyed, thoughtful look on his eyes. Hm, what's this? Did he have some plan?

"Damn," Naruto muttered. "Think that changes things."

Oh? So they did have a plan, how interesting. Looks like

"Well, with that said," Kakashi cut in, "since it's, well, 11 a.m. at this point, you have one hour to get the bell. My alarm's set for 12. Whoever doesn't get one of these, by the way… not only do you fail, but you will be sent back to the Academy. Also, I will eat your lunch in front of you. So if you want to pass and get yourselves some lunch… you'd best come at me with everything you've got. Because it won't be enough."

The two kids' stomachs grumbled again. Kakashi let the silence build a little, just long enough for the orange-haired kid to open his mouth.

"The test starts…" he interrupted, drawing a sigh from the kid. Psychological warfare had all kinds of useful little applications, he had to say. "… Now."

Naruto and Jin immediately leapt out of sight, heading for the foliage to hide. Yakushi Minato delayed only long enough to say "You're full of shit," with a flat glare that really was influenced way too much by his Academy teacher before heading on out himself.

"… Well, that was rude," Kakashi commented idly.

He waited a few moments, gauging their hiding ability. Interesting. They were all pretty solid at staying hidden, better than expected, which said a lot considering that one of them was wearing a neon orange and blue jumpsuit. Of course, he wasn't trying to feel out their chakra or their scents since that would just be overkill. Although… he did feel a small flicker of chakra from one of them. He took a moment to wonder what that was all about, then the moment passed without further ado.

Now, do I go out and look for them, or do I wait for them to come to me? He wondered. Decisions, decisions…

Meh, let me catch up on my Icha-Icha.

He reached into his pouch and extricated said book.

Then he started reading, and soon enough, perverted giggles echoed through the clearing.

---

Jesus.

Ladies and gentlemen, Kakashi fucking Hatake.

Knowing he's a troll is one thing. Having to deal with him personally over a bell test is a whole other goddamn story. Yeah, I know I'm not as good a planner as Shikamaru, but I really did not appreciate just how much he could throw a whole wrench into the whole plan just by being late. Now, they're convinced that I was wrong the whole time, so how in the Elemental Nations do I even convince the other two to work with me on this anyway? They're hungry, irritated, and probably irrational. It's not gonna be easy…

But I gotta convince them. I mean, the answer to this whole thing is teamwork. So we gotta come at this fool like a team.

I watched, not exactly unruffled myself, as Kakashi giggled away at whatever this world had to offer in terms of R34 content. I was a little curious about the quality of the writing, but there'd be better times to investigate...

Argh, this is gonna be a pain…

I blinked as I heard some kind of explosion – sounded a lot like a smoke explosion – then soon enough, saw movement on the field.

Oh, no. Now Naruto's taking this guy on alone! I thought that training made him a little more patient! You idiot!

Okay. Okay. Let's see. Change of plans...

I'm gonna have to look for Jin first. I think Naruto will be the easy one to convince; can't say we're friends, but at least he likes me a hell of a lot more than he likes Sasuke. Of course, in exchange for an easier Speech check, I have to convince him while we're fighting Kakashi at the same time. Man, that guy has an irritating way of making any plan fall apart!

Cue the usual brand of Naruto-style burly braggadocio, followed by irritation when he realized just how seriously the silver-haired Jōnin wasn't taking him. The irritation, of course, followed by anger and one-sided combat.

I looked again.

… Actually, it was a little less one-sided than in canon. But that was about as different as an ant being crushed by an eight-year-old's boot heel versus an ant being crushed by a twenty-year-old's boot heel.

He couldn't touch Kakashi, as expected. I could see Kakashi's eye widen at Naruto's speed and technique, but he still adapted and matched that as easily as breathing. Interestingly, unlike in many of the spars Naruto had in the Academy over the past couple of months, he actually incorporated grappling a lot more than he normally would. He was barely even trying to go for the bell, so I had to wonder: what was the point of that?

The fight continued on for some time. Naruto proved himself to be a worthy irritant to the Jōnin, but unfortunately he made the same fatal mistake. In leaping high enough to launch a spinning hook kick at the silver-haired cyclops's head, he missed as Kakashi leaned back just enough for Naruto to miss and lose his balance. In trying to regain it, he exposed his back to Kakashi for one single, solitary second.

That was a natural mistake. That was just how things rolled sometimes.

Kakashi didn't give a damn.

Boom. Sennen Goroshi.

Bleeding hell, the Japanese are so weird for this prank.

It ended as painfully as – oh.

'Naruto' disappeared in a puff of smoke.

"WHAT THE HELL!?" Naruto raged from somewhere in his hiding place. "YOU BASTARD!"

So that was a Shadow Clone the whole time.

Oh.

Ohhhh.

Oh, my God.

The vast difference between

I fucking love Naruto's sensei.

Then Naruto came charging like a mad deer out the bushes, flanked by another pair of himself. Himselves? His clones.

Better move fast. They won't last all that much longer.

I extracted a scroll, unsealed the Kakuremino cloak, and wrapped it around myself. My exit was much quieter in comparison.

I decided to look for Jin.

If I remember correctly, he'd shot off to the right while Naruto went left. So in relation to Kakashi and Naruto's current positions, he'd be on my left. Plus, he'd want somewhere he could stay out of sight while keeping an eye on the Cyclops. So if I were him, the area I'd be in would be…

I kept to the branches as much as I could, taking my time before each jump and sticking the cloak tightly to my body with chakra so it wouldn't ruffle about and give me away. I wasn't doing badly at it so far, and soon enough I found Jin. He was fairly close to the ground, crouched behind a branch and keeping an eye on the action.

(It was nothing eerie. Kakashi was polishing Naruto's clones like Kiwi.)

Much to my surprise, he was so focused on the fight that he wasn't keeping a keen eye on his surroundings. I took my time approaching him, walking slowly and carefully until I hung over his head, upside down.

I said, "So, you're from the Yuki Clan."

"Shit!" Jin hissed and nearly jumped off the branch. "Yakushi?!"

I was still invisible, so while he had a bead on my general direction, he couldn't see me. "Wha – where? Am I going crazy?"

"Not at all." With suitable dramatic timing, I revoked my chakra flow from the cloak's seals, revealing myself to him with a flourish.

"How did you – no, that's not important. What in the world are you doing here?" he susurrated irritably. "You're giving us away!"

"Hissing like that is exactly what gives you away," I pointed out serenely, speaking in a low tone. "I have a proposal."

"Now?! Wait," he frowned. "Are you… you want us to team up."

Whatever one could say about Jin, he caught on mighty quick.

"Yes."

"Two bells for the two of us…" he thought it over. "But… what about Naruto? I thought you were all about having all three of us working together."

"Naruto gets a bell, too."

Jin scowled. "Are you messing with me?"

"Not at all." It was kinda weird how standing upside-down for so long hadn't really gotten too much blood rushing to my head. I guessed it had something to do with how people with chakra evolved. I mean, sharper eyesight, way sharper hearing (though to be fair I was hard of hearing in my old life so that wasn't exactly a high bar), stronger bodies, accelerated gains, the lot. And that was without any Kekkei Genkai rigmarole. "You and Naruto both get the bells."

The boy looked genuinely confused. "Wait…What about you?"

I shrugged dismissively. "I'll go back to the Academy. For one, I don't really like Kakashi. He's aloof, always late, and he's rude to boot. And this is coming from somebody that swears like a fucking teenager."

"Please quit swearing."

"No. But he's skilled. I've been watching him kick Naruto's ass like an unwanted stepchild this whole time, too." I stopped talking, seeing the pouty glare Jin was giving me. It was giving Steve Rogers puppy dog eyes. "Okay, fine, I'll stop for a minute."

"How about the rest of the day?"

"Don't push it. Anyway, if he's the level of shinobi I'd have to go up against right out of the gate… Nah. I need the extra year."

"But that doesn't make any sense," Jin argued. "You could just take one bell, I'd take one bell, and we'd have the best teacher possible in Kakashi. Aren't you the one that said he's the elite of the village?"

"Doesn't change the fact that he's a… I don't like him. That's not gonna make for good team cohesion. Besides, let's face it. Let's talk politics. If anyone deserves to add to the strength of the village, it's definitely an Uzumaki and Yuki, not some random clanless nobody like me. You two are strong. Stronger than me."

"Bull. Have you seen the Academy results?"

"I did. Means I'm just smarter than the two of you. But out in that world, that's not what counts, not always. That's where you two come in."

Jin frowned and tried to cogitate on everything I just told him. "What's your play here?" he wondered. "What's the catch?"

"The catch is, I go back," I said, dropping down to Jin's level. "Which is fine, because that's a year of extra prep time for me. By the time I graduate next year, you two better be Chūnin level, because if you're not, I'll kick your asses."

"Lang –"

"The minute's over, I counted."

"You actually counted – what – oh, bother." Jin scratched his head in frustration. "You – I don't get it. I don't get it at all. You worked so hard. You went from some lazy mid-tier coaster with wasted potential to top 5 – again – in a year. If it wasn't for that black mark, you'd have edged out the Hyūga for Rookie of the Year. All that, and… you're here. You're this close to being Genin, and you'd throw that away?"

"Okay. You wanna know the truth?" I folded my arms. "Look at me. I'm a nobody. A smart nobody, and I pay attention to a lot of things around here, but still a nobody. Given the fact that this is a three-man squad and not four like I thought it'd be; do you really think Hokage-sama or whoever's in charge of putting together Genin teams would just let Kakashi take on me as a student when I haven't proved my value to the village? When the alternatives are you, a Yuki, and Naruto, an Uzumaki? The last Uzumaki, whose crest we wear on our flak jackets? Get real." I scowled at him. "I'm being nice enough to give you two a chance instead of throwing a tantrum and dragging you all back with me. This is your chance." We heard an explosion, and saw Kakashi handily dispatching Naruto's second clone.

"Decide, Jin," I pressed. "Right now. You wanna be a Shinobi, go for your goals? Start now. We're out of time."

A complicated look came over him. "I… I… how?"

"How, what?"

"How could you just… how do I pay that back?" Jin wondered. "How do I…"

"Win." I stared cold into his eyes. "Serve Konoha with all you are. Kill Yagura, save Kiri, and keep that lovable idiot's eyes open – he's gonna need a lot of help if he's serious about being Hokage. You two better be legends in the making by the time I graduate, or I really will kick your asses up and down this fucking village."

"Heh." Jin's eyes glimmered with intense emotion. "I'd like to see you try, pirate."

"Try? I'd do it. There is no try. Also, what's the pirate thing about?"

"You swear like the ones I've seen."

"… Yeah, alright – I'll give you that one."

He chuckled, looking like he was on the edge of hysteria. He seemed a little overwhelmed, but he rallied and pulled himself together. His jaw clenched, and his eyes changed. They were now as cold as the ice I hadn't seen him wield yet.

"Do you have a plan of attack?" His voice, too. Colder and deeper than any twelve-year-old had any right to.

So that's what he sounds like when he's locked in…

I looked to the clearing, and saw Kakashi dispatch Naruto's last clone. Then I turned back to Jin, unwrapping and sealing my cloak.

"I have a plan. Attack."

Ten seconds later, Jin and I burst out of the clearing, charging the fighting pair at full speed. That was enough to get their attention for a second, and I roared.

"Naruto! Stick to the plan! We'll get him together!"

He looked confused for a second, but I figured he saw something he liked, because he broke out a huge grin and crossed his fingers. "Alright!"

[Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!]

My inner nerd screamed in happiness as I saw seven shadow clones burst out of the cloud of smoke. But I didn't linger on that – instead, I whipped out two kunai and flung one at Kakashi as hard as I could, churning and molding my chakra simultaneously. As expected, he tilted his head out of the way, and right as the kunai passed him, I latched on to it and prepared for a moment of disorientation.

The next moment, I was mid-air, just a hair's breadth behind him.

I didn't bother exploiting my flanking position – I'd never get him. He was already reacting to my sudden presence right behind him, and I focused on the goal – get the bells, then give them to the other two and pass the damn test. Given my bad positioning, I had no choice but to latch chakra strings onto the bells and pull them off his belt.

Given my bad positioning, his hip got in the way as he turned to me and delivered a Spartan kick.

He was sandbagging, as I expected him to – I actually saw and managed to block that kick. But fuck me, it felt like getting hit with a bullet train anyway. I yelled out in pain, my arms and chest exploding with pain as I flew fifty feet away. Before I hit the ground, I could see him already whirling around to deal with Naruto and Jin, expertly grabbing one clone by the leg and using it to beat another to dispel both.

Then I crashed, tumbled, and slid across the clearing, somehow ending up face up, staring at the blue sky and basking in the pain.

(I meant 'basking in' in the most sarcastic way possible.)

… Was that motherfucker's mom a horse?

Fuuuuck, maybe it's recency bias but I don't think even Hana-sensei hit me that hard, and we're talking about the same bitch that spammed me with sakki for three fucking months!

I groaned, rolling onto my side and unthinkingly assuming a fetal position. Guess now I know how it feels to be Yamcha. Sweet Christmas, that hurt!

It took a lot more effort than I'd have liked (and two frustrated punches at the ground), but I eventually got onto my feet, gathered myself up, and got back into the fight.

By that time, Kakashi had cleared out all seven clones, and Jin was getting up off the floor, too.

Alright. New plan. Kill this guy.

I'll probably die trying, but fuck it.

Snake. Bird. Rat.

[Kokoni Arazu no Jutsu.]

Naruto and Kakashi both flinched back when a Xenomorph Queen appeared in their midst. Naruto especially yelled, Kakashi's own was more of a "Hm?!" than a proper yell.

While they were distracted, I channeled chakra to my legs and a bit less to my eyes, trying to prepare for the action. The world blurred for a second, then I was right next to Kakashi as he swiped a chakra-charged kunai through the Queen's open mouth, removing her from existence faster than she appeared. I flung another kunai at his head, and this time he deflected it.

A step in, and my foot swung a furious sweep at his. He hopped over it leisurely, somehow also dodging Naruto's attempt to grab the bells while I attacked in mid-air and hopping off him to get away from Jin.

I faltered for a moment at the level of skill on his part, but rallied and charged him again. Three more kunai to every vital I could aim at in a short time, and he deflected them all as easily as breathing. I latched on to one kunai as it fell, substituted, and –

I couldn't breathe. My movement just… shut down. I found myself scrabbling for air, grappling with intense pain on my solar plexus. It took me minutes to realize through painfully blurry eyes that I'd walked right into his fist.

"So…" Kakashi drawled, and I came to realize his voice came from over my head. I tried to move, but… I couldn't. It was like my muscles were completely locked up.

When did – what?

As my circumstances became clearer, I started to process the situation I was in. Kakashi abruptly had an arm around my torso, trapping my arms together, and somehow he'd restrained my entire body. I was as stiff as a frozen puppet. I-I can't…I can't move! I can't breathe! I… the fuck!? How the hell – poison? Did he poison me? Would he – no. No, it can't be. It's not that serious. There's nothing that could possibly point out to him being a medic-nin… wait… I remember, didn't Tsunade use some kind of immobilizing genjutsu on the Legendary Stupid Brothers?!

"You guys had a plan, huh?" I grunted as his grip on me tightened. "How's that working out for you?"

"Let him go!" Naruto yelled. I struggled helplessly, not helped by the fact that my lungs could barely do any work at all. I was a prisoner in a body that wasn't mine; trapped, helpless, useless, powerless.

I heard the alarm bell chirp; a sound that startled my teammates, too.

The bell?! What the fuck!? How did all that time pass? It hasn't been an hour. It hasn't even been half!

Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuckfuckfuckfuck!

"Or?" Kakashi tilted his head nonchalantly. I saw his other hand move just in the edges of my sight, and I could only watch as he took out a kunai and held it against my face. "There. Now what?"

Calm down bro. Calm down. I gotta – I gotta calm down. I just… if this is a genjutsu, I gotta dispel it and I gotta be calm and focused for that. If I reach for my chakra, it'll be too agitated to control it properly. I tried to breathe as deeply as I could, but it was like trying to wash an entire car with a tiny puddle of water. I couldn't feel much oxygen getting into me, if any at all. Fuck. Fuck!

"I told you, there were only two bells," the Jōnin pointed out. "So what was the point of taking on me with all three of you? Who would have been the odd one out?"

Naruto and Jin looked at each other, then back at me. I must've looked like a proper maniac; my eyes were darting around like pinballs.

"Oh." Kakashi scoffed. "Was he meant to be the sacrificial lamb for you? This kid? How disappointing."

Jin flinched at the venom in Kakashi's tone. I couldn't blame him.

I closed my eyes, trying to reach for my chakra as calmly as I could, considering the situation. I should've considered that he'd notice I was the engine behind this teamwork in more ways than one and so focus on getting me out of the equation.

But he was supposed to pass us on teamwork. He was supposed to, dammit. That was the whole fucking point of the bell test. So what the fuck was the point of grilling the others like this? I need to get this fucker off of me!

Reach in, I told myself. I need to disrupt my chakra. Disrupt is easy. Just… just gotta focus. Gather my chakra. My breaths are shallow; that's fine. Work with it. Gotta work with it.

"Are you really trying to tell me you expect me to pass the two of you by letting you trample all over his dreams?" Kakashi sneered.

Feel the intrusion. If it's a genjutsu, it's gonna feel a lot like that foreign bit of chakra in me when Hana-sensei tried to put me in one, I think.

"You expect me to teach you, knowing you'd throw each other to the wolves at the drop of a hat?"

Come on, where is it? It was weird. I couldn't feel any chakra in mine. But I was so completely restrained, it had to be that paralysis Jutsu. How did it work?

"Why should I pass any of you? What gives you the impression that I think any of you have what it takes?"

Breathe. As much as possible. Think. I gotta stop this crap.

"He…" Jin said, uncertainly. No, stop! Shut up! "He offered…"

"Offered to sacrifice himself?" Kakashi laughed. "Yeah, right. Why would he do that?"

But I can't find any chakra. Maybe it's because it's a higher rank than the one Hana-sensei used? Or maybe… maybe it's not. My body doesn't feel… weird, so no poison. He's not a poison-type anyway…

"He did?" Naruto frowned, looking at Jin, then at me.

Let's operate on the theory that he's actually not using a genjutsu. How many ways are there to restrict somebody? Ninja wire… seals… rope… Kagemane… but it's not Kagemane. I'd be imitating… his movements…

"Yeah." Jin said, subdued.

"And you think he was telling the truth?" Kakashi chuckled. "How do you know he wasn't just gonna take a bell for himself and leave the rest of the problem to you? He was trying to take the bells. Did you know he could use chakra strings? That's how he almost pulled off the heist of a lifetime. And you fell for it."

Wait. There's also… I remember. Chiyo. Chakra strings. I've been using them. Chiyo used them to control Sakura against Sasori. Strings can contr-control… the body. So…

I focused, pulling outwards a bit more than I would have normally. It was… awkward, shifting my chakra like that, but I managed to find some small, pinpricking sensations all over my arms, my torso, my legs.

There…! So many strings, though! How…? I think… they've all got my major muscle groups?

Gotta… I gotta get rid of them…

Jin's eyes widened as he took in Kakashi's point.

"Really, trying to convince me any of you were acting as a team?" the silver-haired fucking cyclops continued. "What a joke. You just stayed hidden, Jin, watching while Naruto tried to single-handedly do the work of all three of you. And you, Minato… trying to manipulate the both of them into doing your work for you so you could take a bell for yourself?"

I growled wordlessly, flaring my chakra against the points of his strings.

"All of you – oh?"

Nothing. I flared my chakra again, harder. Fuck this guy! Aha! I felt a thrill of satisfaction when I felt something give, and I could feel my arms and chest actively twitching.

Again! I flared my chakra for a third time, harder again, and got rid of the strings entirely. Opening given, I drew a kunai off the thigh pouch as fast as I could and –

Flew through the air as he threw me off. This time, though, I was ready since that was the point, and landed on my feet.

"Hm," I heard him say. "Interesting."

"Fucking hell." I breathed heavily. "You fucking piece of work. You –"

"I'm the piece of work?" Kakashi chuckled. "When you were using your teammates?"

I folded my arms. "I wasn't. I was letting them both use me. Because…"

"Because, what?"

I stopped talking. What the fuck am I doing? Why all this effort when I could just speedrun the end?

"You know what?" I folded my arms. "Fuck all this. If you're gonna fail us, fail us."

"What?" Jin.

"What?!" Naruto. "But what –"

"Wait," I interrupted.

"What do you mean, wait? We had him on the ropes!"

"Wait," I repeated. "Let me talk."

I glared at the both of them.

"Is this you trying to justify whatever this mess is that you're doing?" Kakashi challenged. "What are you even doing? You've been trying to manipulate them into working with you so you could get a bell for half the effort, and now that I –"

"Didn't do a thing but trick us, and I'm not falling for it," I interrupted. "You know why I'd let you fail us? Because this whole thing is bullshit."

"Hm, let me guess: because you think your edgy language will let you gain any kind of advantage in this little back-and-forth?"

"Because this whole setup stinks. You don't want to pass us; you just don't wanna admit it. Why a three-man squad?"

"What kind of question is that?" Kakashi argued. "What kind of question is that?" He turned to Naruto and Jin. "Are we really just going to skip over the part where you were selfishly using your teammates to do the heavy lifting for you?"

"Because, you trolling asshole, you can fool them, but not me." I snorted. "Lemme do you a favor and ignore the part where you rigged the bell to ring before the hour was up. Since when the fuck do we roll with three-man squads in this village? It's been four-man squads since Nidaime-sama's time. Genin-Jōnin, Chūnin-Jōnin, Genin-Chūnin. We set up with four shinobi, always. Except in ANBU, apparently, if what Naruto told me was right. But the fact remains. And I watch. I listen. I read my history. I see and hear everything."

"Yeah, that's good lyrical," the silver-haired Jōnin countered. "But why should we believe you over me? You're all over the place and unreadable. You can't keep a straight story or a straight plan. And the moment I press you, you fold."

"You're right. Let's hear it from you," I flipped it back on him. "Why should they believe you over me? Why would we believe that Hokage-sama only let you, of all people, take on only two Genin for a team?"

"Why wouldn't he?" said Jōnin retorted. "You don't even know my circumstance enough to make any judgment call."

"But I do know you're an Elite Jōnin. I know you. I've heard legends about you. I've read about you. You're the only person whose library attendance rate I couldn't beat, which is ridiculous considering you graduated at the age of six." Kakashi blinked in surprise at that. "In what fucking world does it make sense to only saddle you with two Genin when everyone else gets three? You're one of the best Jōnin in the village, full stop. Kakashi of the Thousand Jutsu. The Scarecrow. Kopi-nin. An elite shinobi like you should be leading two Genin teams, not one, and most definitely not an incomplete team."

"Actually, I have one student," Kakashi pointed out. "I just wanna see which other two could fill the gap."

I blinked. "Oh."

That... that was a hell of a reason, actually. Holy shit, canon is this broken?

Hell, I heard Naruto go, "What?"

"I told you," Kakashi said, "you're a smart little cookie. You know a lot... but you don't know enough."

Well... if that's the way it's gonna be...

"Then pass those two," I retorted serenely, hand pointing to Jin and Naruto. "We know their heritage. An Uzumaki. A Yuki, from Mizu no Kuni, right? I don't know what's so valuable about the Yuki or what the heck is going on with Karatachi Yagura, but if he chose to be Konoha-nin and he's clan, then he's valuable. Far more than me. I don't need to say a thing about Naruto. You're wearing his clan's crest on your jacket. Like everyone in this village. So this bullshit needs to come to an end, now. Pass them, send me back to the Academy, be done with it. You know damn well we're not touching those bells unless you let us. You want a high-quality team to complement whoever your student is? You won't get better than these two. Especially –"

I cut myself off, realizing somebody was walking up behind me at a serious clip. I turned to face whoever –

– and ducked as a fist only just missed my face.

"Hey!"

Naruto tried to punch me. What the hell?!

"What gives?!" I yelled.

"THAT'S A LOAD OF CRAP!" the infuriated Uzumaki yelled back.

"THE HELL IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?!"

"YOU'RE GIVING UP!? WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU DO THAT?"

"WERE YOU LISTENING TO A GODDAMN WORD I SAID?!"

"YEAH! AND IT'S A LOAD OF CRAP!" I took a moment to wipe the spittle flying at my face. This little shit… "You worked this hard to get here! You were practically the real Rookie of the Year!"

"I wasn't Rookie of the Year," I pointed out calmly.

"Yeah, you were! You were, you idiot! If it wasn't for that black mark you got, you'd have gotten more marks than that Neji prick! You got robbed!"

"I asked for that robbery."

"Yeah! And…" Naruto faltered and blinked when what I said kicked in. "Wait… what?"

"That's right. In order to get where I was today, I asked Hana-sensei to give me extra training after class. Now, I didn't know it at the time, but rules in the Academy are, you can ask for that, but in exchange you forfeit a portion of your marks at the end of the year, depending on how much training you get. And that can only be done under detention; hence, the black mark. Hence, it's not robbery. I just worked my ass off with extra guidance."

"W-Well, exactly! That proves my point!" the blond rallied. "You worked extra hard to get here! Why the hell would you just give it all up now?"

"That's just the way things go, Naruto. Sometimes you gotta step aside and let everyone else cook. That's –"

"I'M NOT ACCEPTING THAT!" Oi, for fuck's sake, if this guy doesn't quit spitting on my face every time he yells – "I'm not accepting that, and you better not, either!"

"I am. Deal with it."

"You –! No." I blinked; Naruto's voice had suddenly become cold. "No, fuck that."

My eyes widened. "Whoa, hey –"

"If you're not gonna be part of this team, then I'm not joining in with this jerk, either! I quit!"

"What?" My instant response.

"What?" Jin blinked.

"Wait, what?!" I repeated for extra emphasis. Because what the fuck was this guy saying?!

"Oh, you didn't hear? I said: I QUIT!"

"Hold on! Wait a minute! What the fuck, Naruto!" I gaped. "Why the hell would you do that?! What about the whole Hokage thing? I thought –"

"It doesn't matter!" Naruto barged in. There was a weight in his voice I didn't expect, and… honestly, looking back, I think that was the first time I ever realized just why this guy's Talk no Jutsu just… worked. He was a brat, but when he really put the effort into being heard, the cadence of his voice, just…

It was so… compelling. I really couldn't put a finger to it, I really couldn't figure out what it was.

"It doesn't matter! Because if becoming Hokage means having to trample all over my own friends to get there," he told me, "then I'd rather not be Hokage at all!"

I must've looked like a fool. I stood there, gaping like a beached fish.

Huh? Huh?!

"So yeah!" he concluded. "I'm not joining this team if that's what it takes! I wasn't supposed to graduate this year, anyway! So I'll go back to the Academy!"

"He's right," Jin said from next to us. The fuck! When did he –?!

"You too?!"

"Look." Jin steepled his fingers, dark eyes boring into mine. His eyes then faded away from mine; he took a moment to visibly compose himself.

Oh, no. I knew what he was about to do. I recognized that start of a difficult confession and conversation.

I raised a hand. "Jin –"

"I'm from Mizu no Kuni. Today, the identity of that nation is built on blood. Literally. There are so many people that were killed… my clan, my father, my mother, my brother and sister, other clans… dead to satisfy a mad tyrant that thrives on blood. Dead to satisfy a bunch of ingrates that hate us because we have different blood. In what world does that make any fucking sense? It's as red as anyone's! And Kirigakure is no different! Did you know that they call it the Bloody Mist? Let me tell you why. Graduating from the Academy… here, it's just... this. There... it costs lives. You're supposed to team up with one student in the Academy, train together, eat together, live together… and then you're expected to kill each other when you graduate!"

"What?" Naruto gaped.

"What… the hell?" I gaped, too. I knew that backstory, but I wasn't supposed to know it.

"We came here… we escaped because this village was supposed to be better. Everything we sacrificed, everything we lost to come here… Konoha is supposed to be better. And it is. At least I'm not supposed to kill any of you, but… it shouldn't be acceptable to have to trample over your teammates, anyway. You're the people I should trust with my back, with my life, right? And… I want to. You're sincere. Both of you. You'd really just throw away your future for me. So, to get in a team that means I have to trash my own teammates to get ahead? No." He sighed. "I cannot accept a team like that. We came here because things were supposed to be better."

"Is that your final choice?" Kakashi asked. Not gonna lie, I kinda forgot he was there for a second.

We all turned to him.

"Is this what you truly want?" he continued. "Think on it wisely. I can recommend whether you all go back to the Academy… or get dumped out of the shinobi program. Minato said it, I am an elite shinobi, so I have a lot of authority. Reject me like this… and I will make sure you never see your next graduation."

"Yeah, right!" Naruto sneered. "You're just one Jōnin. You don't have more authority than Hokage-jiji! I can just tell him how much you suck as a damn Jōnin, and he'll fire your ass out the door! I'm not gonna betray my teammates just to become Hokage. That's never how it should be done, anywhere! Whoever betrays their friends, their teammates… are lower than trash!"

My head whirled to Naruto. Wait, fucking what?! That's Kakashi's Nindo! How the fuck does he know Kakashi's Nindo?!

"Huh… how interesting. Is that so?" Kakashi mulled; eye wide in surprise, before he blinked and it went back to normal. I wouldn't say I was intimately familiar with Kakashi, but I'd seen the guy's face enough times to know when he was genuinely surprised. That hadn't really changed when I saw him for real, either. "In that case… I see I have no choice. You all… pass!"

"Huh?!" Naruto.

"Eh?!" Jin.

"Oh, man. This guy." Me. Complete with requisite facepalm.

"Congratulations!" Kakashi went on, as if he hadn't just given us mass aneurysms.

"…What the heck is going on right now…?" Jin wondered faintly.

"Wait a minute!" Naruto blurted. "What does that mean? We're a five-man squad now?! Who's our teammate?"

"Oh, him?" the silver-haired shinobi shrugged. "Well… he doesn't exist. I lied. Oops!"

Crickets.

He said that with his trademark eye smile. The Lion, The Witch, and the audacity of this bitch –

I exploded. "I TOLD YOU WE COULDN'T TRUST THIS FUCKING GUY!"

"QUIT SWEARING!"

"YOU WERE SWEARING THIS WHOLE TIME TOO, YOU UTTER HYPOCRITE!"

"I ONLY SWEAR WHEN IT'S NECESSARY! YOU KEEP SWEARING LIKE A GODDAMN PIRATE!"

"DAMMIT, JIN! THERE YOU GO AGAIN!"

(LINEBREAK)

Author's note:

First of all, I gotta address Minato's name. This one is for Tony McNucklz.

I understand your confusion, it's easy to see it, 'cause like… Minato Namikaze, Kabuto Yakushi, whole lotta confusion, but…. I'm sorry.

His name isn't changing. But I have a good reason for that.

I named him after a friend I had online who I lost to COVID. We bonded over our love for Naruto as a world in and of itself. The lore – most of it, anyway, let's not talk about The Last or Boruto – remains my favorite of any series, ever, to this day, and the same went for him. He inspired Minato's fighting style when I was going back and forth with him on what the ideal Naruto shinobi would fight like: control, speed, and distraction over raw power, because we don't like that wizard 'ninja' crap that the whole thing started properly becoming post-Pain. He inspired Minato's hair color that you see on the cover, as he was a ginger. He inspired a lot of other things I do as a writer and part-time artist. Like, this whole fic is partly me wanting to play with my world building skills, partly me practicing, and partly a platonic love letter to that lovable weaboo smartass. My high school English teacher, Halle, Brandon McNulty, Frederick Forsyth, and Minato. Those are the five people that inspired me to pick up my pen… or keyboard, in this case, and cook with it. And I am doing a couple things in the background, some interesting things…

So, yeah. Nah. Point is, I'm really sorry for the inconvenience, but it's not changing. This will be the only time I talk about it.

Moving on, I remember there were some people that accused me of making Minato overpowered early.

Yeahhh, like… no. Hell no, even.

Maybe I'm just too good at describing his strengths and hiding his weaknesses. That's… kind of a weakness I have in writing everyone, in all fairness, but yeahhhh, nah. I said before that this man has a long way to go to become an Elite shinobi, and I meant that. At this moment, mans is nothing more than an absolute mook.

I think the fight against Kakashi speaks for itself. Sure, the disparity in skill is unfair in this case, but I think I've shown his level pretty well.

This guy has solid mid-Genin level speed and strength, knows only five weak jutsu (six if you count the Grand Fireball but he can't exactly use that for multiple reasons, not least of which is that it would raise awkward questions), is currently too slow for his fighting style, something Hana pointed out to him last chapter, and hasn't yet realized one of the fatal weaknesses of using Substitution the way he does in combat, which I showed here; more so considering he is still too damn slow to compensate and really process high-speed movement.

Yeah, I mean, he's likely to beat your average Genin. He'd polish canon Sakura, Ino, Hinata, and probably narrowly best Chōji at the Chūnin Exams stage. Everyone else at that point either beats him, mid-diff (Shino, Shikamaru) or casually wipes the floor with him (everyone else in the Rookie 12).

Yeah. He's gonna be a while, he is.

Anyway, what do you guys think about Jin so far? Some might have the impression I've just jumped into his backstory way too immediately, but this was barely even scratching the surface.

I have IDEAS for this guy. When I came up with Tenchi Aburame in early drafts I really liked the ideas I came up with for him, and I was really tempted to make him the final teammate in Team Six, but the way I have IDEAS when it comes to Jin… ah, he won. But I'mma have to bring back Tenchi in some form or another, I just like his unconventional nature too much.

You guys are gonna love 'em. We got more crazy twists in the future. I also kind of wanted to explore the idea of the Yuki clan; I mean, they're dead as a whole but I feel like Haku shouldn't be the only way to explore them, yanno? She… he… she… fuck. He was such a missed opportunity; Kishi killed him off way too early. Then again, it probably wouldn't have been so impactful to Naruto's character development if he'd lived.

So I made Jin for that reason. You'll see what I do with Haku and Zabuza later.

At first he was hidden in the background of the earlier chapters, but I liked the fanon idea of Refugee!Haku some fics have done but I decided to put my own twist to it. He's got a lot in common with Haku, in order to show they're family, but he's also got his own personality, his own tics, was raised by parents and a grandmother that encouraged self-expression, and a very different future. But he's also not as precise and calculated as Haku can be. That reflects more physically on his focus on strength over precision and his lack of ability with senbon needles that he hinted at earlier in the chapter. Like Minato, he's meditative, observant, but he's also got a much darker side to him. (He also doesn't like Minato swearing so much, but he kinda swears so much, so it's gonna make for some minor comedic moments where they just blow up at each other like Natsu and Gray from Fairy Tail) I'm not gonna say that future is absolutely mind-blowing because I'm not that crazy, but I think it's a decent set of ideas and I won't spoil anything more.

Next chapter, uh… well, I'm approaching exam week (which is more like three weeks long, so… weird choice of nomenclature), I believe things kick off next week. So, probably not until later this month. I'm not sure. So I'm like, lemme pop this off at least before I dip again; my computer's fixed and everything so we cool for now. At least I'm only writing a bit, but I gotta study like a madman and also pay homage to some rather unnerving assignments I gotta tackle. One of them actually involves going to court! Literally! By myself! In a suit and tie! And I gotta sit and record everything that happens in one of them cases! This week! TT

Wish me luck, my guys, I'm gonna need it. See y'all later now!