Both Buffy and Xander were so surprised about the entirely positive emotional results of their one night together, they didn't give a thought to any other possible repercussions.

Time passed and it was soon after that Xander's doubts caused him to call off his wedding to Anya at the very last possible second. He didn't think of his night with Buffy in making his decision. Buffy of course thought about it but with an effort she put it from her mind. Horribly, sadly, they lost Tara. Buffy, at least, suffered it well, knowing that so gentle and good a soul would not be denied the paradise she herself had tasted. Willow did horrible things in the rage and selfish pain that followed. This was dealt with and little spoken of.

Six weeks after the night, Buffy noticed she was late. At first it did not overly concern her. She was thin and very athletic, obviously, and that caused her to have irregular periods. At seven weeks, she began to worry but repressed it. At eight, repression was no longer possible. Steps had to be taken. The minutes waiting for the EPT results to come back were some of the longest of her life and she really couldn't claim to be surprised at the positive response. She cried in bed all that night. That morning, braced with a large amount of caffeine (which she swore would be the last until… something) and a wavering heart she went to see the father of her child. Buffy looked at Xander's building as she approached. It was nice. It was a very grown-up place. Xander had himself more together than most men his age. He wasn't going to keggers at frat houses; he was working every day and making a good living. He was also learning things to increase his earning potential. These were all good things. Thinking of Xander as a father of course segued immediately into thoughts of herself as a mother. That was less good. How could she perform her duty with a baby? Did a child deserve that as a life, so much danger? She went over her decision again and found no other option. She fought back tears at what she felt she had to do, and yet again reassured herself of the necessity.

When she knocked, Xander opened the door to an obviously distraught slayer. He stepped back so she could enter. "Buffy? What's the matter?"

"I… we have a problem." She said quietly.

"Fill me in." He was always ready to step up but would he take this on? The alternative repelled her. She took a deep cleansing breath and sat on the couch, tried to speak, failed and stood up again. Xander looked at her in concern. He realized that this could not be some supernatural emergency or danger. Those she approached directly. This was something else. "You're making me nervous. Just tell me."

Buffy laughed, a quick bark, "Not as nervous as I am."

"Ok, you win the nervousness game. What's going on?"

She took a deep breath and set her shoulders. "I'm pregnant."

Xander's froze. "Pregnant?" He whispered. She nodded. "And it's mine." She could tell it was a statement, not a question.

"I found out last night." Buffy said. "And I've been thinking a lot." Xander nodded for her to go on. "I don't think I can do this," she said. "You know what my life has to be." She began to tear up but waved him away when he started to approach her. "I just can't do this, so I want you to take our baby and go somewhere safe, away from the hellmouth. If you can't or won't do that, I'm going to get an abortion."

Xander spoke very slowly and carefully. "It's your call of course but…" he trailed off.

"You don't want me to."

"I don't."

Buffy nodded. A large part of her had hoped that he would respond like this. She honestly thought that aborting her pregnancy was in many ways best, but she found that, on reflection, she just didn't want to do it.

Xander stood and paced. "All right. We're having a baby. Damn. Ok. What now?" He shook his head to clear it. "You said you wanted me to take it and leave?" Buffy nodded. He spoke in a resolute tone. "No."

"Xander…"

"No. I will not raise our child and not have it know its mother and aunt. No way."

A tear ran down her cheek and she ignored it. Looking away from him for a long moment she whispered, "It… the baby would still know us."

"You know what I mean," he said.

"I know," she sighed. "I knew you would say this."

"Then why did you ask?" She shrugged. Thy sat silent together for several minutes, absorbing and dealing with things. "What now?" Buffy shrugged again. "Not long-term planning or anything like that. The time for that will come. I mean right now, today. You want to be alone, hang here and talk, hang here and not talk?"
For the first time, Buffy suspected she felt the hormones of pregnancy. She felt a surge of emotion and her eyes watered. Having the father of her child speaking in such a caring manner made her heart go into her throat. It made her feel very feminine. She wiped at her eyes and nodded. She suddenly laughed. "I can't stop crying."

"Hormones," he said with a smile.

Buffy chuckled but still had to swipe at her eyes. "I blame you."

"Fair enough."

"Anyway, for today, let's table the discussion of long-term plans."

"Sure."

"We have to tell Will and Dawn." he said.

"Dawn! God, I've been dreading that. Some example I'm setting. Go out and get myself knocked up."

"You're not alone. I wasn't the brightest boy myself. I should have wrapped that rascal."

"Maybe it's a good example for Dawn. She can say, 'I don't want to end up like my big sister'." Buffy didn't sound happy about the idea.

"Wrong." Xander said bluntly. Buffy was surprised at his tone. "If the lesson you're trying to teach Dawn is 'don't make mistakes', give up. Everyone makes them. It's how you deal with them that counts. We did a dumb thing, but we're going to do the right thing. That's a good lesson for Dawn to learn, wouldn't you say?"

Buffy looked at Xander for a time, long enough for him to become uncomfortable. Then, as he started to say something, she slowly and deliberately took him into an embrace. "Thank you, Alexander Harris. Thank you for… I don't know, for all of it."

He hugged her back. "I couldn't pick a better person to have an accident with." Buffy shook her head. It was true. They were in for many difficulties, but she couldn't imagine a better person to go through it with.

"Come on," Xander said. "We have to go tell some people."

"God! I don't know what to tell Dawn."

"I guess we just tell her the truth and answer her questions honestly."

"Ugh."

They drove together to Buffy's home. It was a quiet drive, both lost in thought. They got to the house and nervously walked towards the door. Xander tried to take her hand, but without saying anything, she pulled away from him. Once inside, Xander planted himself in a chair and Buffy alternated between pacing and sitting on the couch. Dawn came when they called for her. "Yeah," she said calmly, not noticing the tension in the room.

"Dawn, I…" Buffy began, but corrected herself, "We have something to tell you."

Dawn now noticed the tension. She looked from her sister to her friend with fear growing in her eyes. "What is it? What's going on?"

"It's ok, Dawn." Xander said calmly. "It's not bad but it is big."

"Ok, what is it?" Following Xander's lead, she looked at Buffy.

Buffy took a deep breath. She considered beating around the bush, but she finally just blurted out, "Dawn, I'm pregnant."

Dawn froze. "You're what?"

"Pregnant."

"And you said we! Xander you…"

"Yes."

Dawn was stunned silent. The older two waited for her to say something. "I didn't even know you guys were…"

"We aren't a couple." Buffy said.

"You coupled at least once." Dawn replied. Xander felt the urge to laugh, but it was easy to repress.

Buffy sighed deeply in almost a groan. "That's pretty much the case. It was a one-night thing."

Dawn looked at Xander. "You guys had a one-night stand."

"We… were overtaken by the moment. It happened. We talked the next day and agreed we could put it in the past and not ruin our current friendship." Xander said as he leaned forward in his chair.

"And you didn't use protection?" Dawn demanded.

Buffy looked embarrassed, but Xander kept going. "We didn't. That makes us what you call stupid. But now it's here and we get to deal with it. Right now, we're still making plans. We do know this; we intend to have this child, and we will all be a part of its, his or her, life."

Dawn sat silent for a few minutes. She was a veteran of modern childhood; broken home, absentee father, mother gone, lesbian caregivers, and more unusual problems. She was gathering her wits. "Ok. I can deal with this. I have some questions."

"Shoot." Buffy said.

"What about money?"

"I have insurance at work, and I'm getting Buffy on it. Maybe you too. I'm making a fair living, so I'm bankrolling this outfit." Xander said. Buffy glanced at Xander in surprise. He hadn't mentioned the insurance. She felt that same, apparently hormone induced warmth.

"Ok," Dawn said, nodding. "What about the slaying?"

"We do what we have to." Buffy said.

"But only what we have to. No more. No chances." Xander cut in.

Dawn nodded again. "One last question?"

"Ok."

"How was it?" Dawn said quickly with a smirk. Xander turned his head and covered his mouth with his hand.

Willow was a very perceptive woman and was vastly familiar with her targets of the day. The phone call setting up the lunch was clearly a nervous they had something interesting to say. What really put her antennae up was while they were ordering. Buffy, as usual, ordered a diet coke. Xander glanced up and corrected her, changing the order to a caffeine-free diet coke. That was unusual, Willow knew, but what was even weirder was that Buffy acquiesced with a brief glance at Xander and a nod to the waitress. In addition to being perceptive, Willow was smart. Her mind started cranking over. Why no caffeine? Buffy was clearly not hyper. Why do people avoid caffeine? A list formed in her mind. Why would both Xander and Buffy be nervous? The list got shorter. Why would Xander be so aware of Buffy's health and be bold enough to change her order? One item left on the . "Oh my god! You're pregnant!" The restaurant became silent around them.

Buffy and Xander looked at each other wondering the same thing. "How does she do that?" Buffy muttered. Xander shrugged.

Much to Buffy's embarrassment, several tables around them applauded and voiced congratulations. She turned redder than she ever thought possible. She was as embarrassed as much by the attention as by the insufferable grin Xander was sporting. Willow was kind of bouncing in her chair and fluttering her hands in excitement. "When did you guys…"Willow said when she could talk.

More embarrassment, but at least it was private. Xander took the ball. "It was a one-time thing. Feelings were running high, one thing led to another, all that stuff." Buffy nodded agreement.

Willow nodded, considering their words. "What are you going to do now?"

"We're…" Buffy began but hesitated. It was the first time she had spoken of she and Xander as a 'we', "…going to keep it."

Willow went off into ecstatic chatter. She was gushing to Buffy about how everything would be great, and she was thrilled to be AuntWillow. Xander sat back and watched as the women talked. After a few minutes, Buffy excused herself to the him in her gentle way and quietly said, "What about you two?"

"We're dealing. We can do this."

"That's not what I meant." Willow said.

"I know." Xander said. He clearly communicated without speaking that he had no answers for what she did mean to ask.

Buffy went to the OBG, on Xander's insurance, and got her instructions and her vitamins. She didn't notice much change in herself for a while, but morning sickness hit her like a ton of bricks. At one point she threw up on a vampire and felt forced to apologize before staking him.

A phone call to Giles proved easier than expected. He was supportive, promising to check the pertinent volumes to see if there were any precedents for pregnant slayers and anything they should know. He also promised to come for the delivery if he could. He was surprised to hear Xander was the father, but he seemed perversely pleased.

A few weeks after the lunch, Willow moved into a small apartment. Buffy and Dawn missed her terribly. It left a glaringly empty bedroom in the Summer's household. Both Buffy and Xander were sure that opening the space was the reason she moved.

Early one morning, in time to catch Xander as he left for work, she was waiting on his stairs. She promptly stood when he greeted her, took his arm and said, "Walk with me."

Xander, bemused, went with her. "What's up?"

"How much rent do you pay?" She asked reasonably.

"Nosy much?" Xander said.

"You're throwing away that money when you could be living in a home, you know, with the mother of your child." Willow said.

"That's not how it is."

"Xand," she said softly, "There's something's between you or this wouldn't have happened."

"You want to hear about that?" A little hardness had entered his voice and it made her nervous. "I was still engaged to Anya. You knew that from the timing. I was depressed, scared to death about the wedding… sorry for myself." Willow's face melted with sympathy. "It's fine. Let me finish. Remember the day Dawn freaked out?" Willow nodded. "I found her and talked to her. You should have heard me, Will. I sounded like… I don't know what, but I helped Dawn out, made her feel better. Buffy was eavesdropping."

Willow grinned. "She heard you being all Dad like…"

Xander gave her a warning look. "We talked afterwards. It was… well, let's just say it's going to be one of my favorite memories. Right up there with kissing you." Willow slapped him lightly on the arm but was touched to hear the sincerity in his voice. "We woke up the next morning and agreed that it was nice, and our relationship stayed the same."

"A one-night stand."

"Not at all. I care for her, and she cares for me. You know that. The night helped me get through… you know, Anya. I like to think that it helped her deal with the whole Spike thing. The timing was right."

"Do you want it to happen again?" Willow asked.

"I don't think it would be a good idea."

Willow nodded and looked thoughtful for a moment. "You should talk to her," she said diffidently.

"About…"

"Money."

Two days later, Xander timed an arrival so that Dawn would be home, and Buffy wouldn't. Dawn let him in, saying, "Hello, daddy to be." She had gotten into the habit of calling him that. He responded by calling her Auntie Dawn, which she hated. Once she went back to her television show, Xander went to the pile of mail on the kitchen table and separated the bills. After a brief hesitation, he glanced through them.

In a few hours Buffy made it home. She fell on the couch. Dawn, showing promising maturity, went to fix her something to eat. Xander cut to the chase. "Buff, we have to talk."

She groaned. "What about?"

"Money."

She looked up curiously, "what about it?"

"A little birdie told me…" he began.

"A brunette birdie or a redhead birdie?" Buffy interrupted.

"Redhead," Xander said, "anyway, are you having trouble with bills?"

Buffy took a moment to answer, surprised at the immediate annoyance that ran through her, "So what if I am?"

"I just want to help. I can cut a few corners and pick up some OT and kick in."

Buffy sighed. She remembered when they had first discussed her pregnancy. It had seemed like something they could handle. She wasn't even showing, and things were becoming difficult for her. One night… one stupid night. There was something that she did not want to tell him but needed to be said. "Xander, you're not my husband. Stop trying to be."

Xander was stunned. "What?"

"That you could be daddy and take care of everything. I would be mommy and everyone knows that mommy and daddy make a couple."

Xander just looked at her. He took a moment to calm himself before he spoke. "I… don't know where that came from."

"Maybe from the same place that made you think you could pay my bills for me. It was just one time, Xander" Buffy said.

Xander glared at her. "We both wanted to have sex. If you got a point, make it."

"I'm glad you want to do what's right, but I think this all means more to you then it should." She was softening just a little. "I'm afraid you're making assumptions…"

"This isn't about the bills," Xander said, "this is more." Buffy nodded agreement. "Are you blaming me for all this?"

"You initiated things. You were so… good about it all. I feel almost like you shamed me into not getting an abortion. I know that I agreed with you. I wanted to have sex. I didn't want an abortion. Reasonably I know this is our, not your, fault…"

"But you resent me?"

She nodded. "And I'm afraid that you believe we would inevitably get together."

Xander nodded slowly and stood up. "I have to think. If you feel like that… I don't know." He turned when he reached the door. "If nothing else, you'll be getting a some money. I'll be in touch." He shut the door very gently behind him.

Buffy cried that night. So did Xander. A few days later, a check arrived. She cashed it.

In the following days there was an eerie silence. Dawn and Willow were frightened but no one talked about it. Xander was cutting every possible sending every penny he didn't need to live to Buffy. She took it but used as little as possible, leaving the rest in savings against emergencies. She also had some vague idea about returning the bulk of it to him at some undetermined future date. It was three weeks later, she had real trouble. A pack of vampires set an ambush for her. As always, the slayer won. After an hour-long running fight that left her battered and bloodied, she finally won a pyrrhic victory. She stumbled home and went straight to bed.

Later, she was awakened by a deep voice speaking quietly. "Buffy?"

"Uuunnhhh…what," the hurting slayer mumbled, "Xander?"

"Yeah, it's me. Dawn was scared and called me. How are you?"

"It hurts," she said softly.

"What hurts? Let me see."

"I'm fine, Xander. I just need to rest."

"I'm staying on the couch, unless you object," he said, cutting her off. "Dawn asked me to. She's still scared, or she claims she is. Go to sleep."

Buffy watched him turn and walk out of her room. She did not sleep well and rose late.

When she did come down the stairs, moving a little stiffly, she saw Xander sitting at the table, a cup of coffee in hand, staring blankly. She thought he was unaware of her presence until he spoke. "I made coffee. Decaff. I hope that was all right."

Buffy nodded and went to get a cup. She paused at the counter and tried to collect herself. He wanted to talk to her about something or he wouldn't have stayed. Given how the last conversation ended, she did not relish the thought of this one. Steeling herself, sat in a chair facing him.

"I got my thinking done," he said. "And this is what I've come up with. You were pretty harsh with me but here's the thing, I can't help it if you resent me. Get over it. You might also want to try to finish growing the hell up. Stop trying to make yourself feel better by blaming me."

Buffy sat and held the cup of coffee like a lifeline. "I can't help how I feel," she said.

"Do you really feel like those things you said were all true?" Xander asked.

She shook her head, "Not really. Maybe kinda a little?"

Xander chuckled, "Maybe kinda a little?" he repeated.

Buffy had a small, hard-won smile, "Yeah." She took a moment to steel herself. Xander, having seen it before gave her a moment. "It's what I'm afraid of," she finally said.

He nodded gently. "There's a lot to be afraid of right now."

"Yeah... Dawn, the baby, and that's the normal stuff."

"And I gave you something else to be afraid of," he said.

Buffy nodded. "Yeah."

"So how afraid are you really of my expectations?"

"Point made. You can stop being condescending now. I was scared and I took it out on you." They spent a companionable few minutes refilling their coffee and warming some bagels. Once they were settled at the table again, she said, "You know, it's not like I haven't missed you."

Xander managed a smile. "I'm glad to hear that. I wanted to come over here every day."

"Xander, I'm sorry I said those things and I'm sorry for the way I said them. I'm sorry you didn't feel you could come here for so long and I'm sorry I didn't call before now."

"I'm sorry I stormed out of here. I'm sorry I stayed away for so long. I'm sorry I barged into your business without asking."

"Why do we put ourselves through this? There was no point. We could have had this talk then."

"We're stupid," he replied instantly.

Buffy nodded agreement. "God help our child."

"God help us," he said.

"And on that note, I've been thinking too. We aren't a couple, but we're going to be parents. We're bound to become more… involved with each other's lives. You're going to learn details about my body you probably never wanted to know."

"I'll bring my catcher's mitt," he said thoughtfully.

"What? Why?"

"Slayer muscles; you give a good push and you're liable to shoot the little tyke across the room," Xander explained. She hit him on the arm.

On a Saturday evening a few weeks later, Xander was sitting on Buffy's couch reading the seminal classic, "What to Expect When You're Expecting." He finished a chapter and glanced sideways at Buffy, who was watching some old movie intently. "Is this true?" he asked.

"What?" She replied, not really paying attention.

He read from the book. "Increased sexual drive is common in expectant mothers during the first and second trimesters…"

Buffy still seemed distracted, but answered, quite possibly without thinking, "Oh, yeah."

"Really?"

"Yep."

"Well," Xander said after a pause, "I can't get you pregnant again…" her head whipped around, and she looked thoughtful.