All I Want For Christmas – Chapter 16
The ringing of the alarm clock went off way too early for Nathan's liking the following morning but as their train for Winnipeg was leaving just before 11am he knew he had to get up as there was still the final bit of packing to be done.
It was going to be a long journey, with one night spent on board for which they had booked a sleeping compartment. After that a car would collect them to travel the remaining distance to Regina where Nathan would meet with his superior officers to discuss his future in the RCMP. He was feeling calm about it, knowing in his own mind what life he wanted for his family and determined to find a way to have that, no matter what they said.
Just another five minutes, he told himself, as he stretched out on his side of the bed, wishing he had time to wander downstairs as he had done yesterday for a chat with Lionel over a cup of coffee and to bite into freshly baked bread slathered with creamy butter. Just the thought of that made his stomach rumble and he looked down quickly to see if the noise had woken Elizabeth. I must learn to be more patient, he told himself, as another rumble seemed to fill the room.
She had not stirred. He was glad that she could sleep through anything as she needed the rest after such a busy time. Watching her as she lay on her side, her face in gentle repose with a slight wispy exhale escaping her lips as she took long steady breaths, he once again felt blessed that his life had turned out as it had.
For a moment he just lay there, reflecting on their time here in Hamilton and thinking about how much had changed in just a few short days. So many walls had been broken down and relationships allowed to recover once the shackles of the past had been discarded. It was a happier Thatcher family that they would be leaving and he hoped this was just the beginning for all of them as they went in different directions chasing dreams that now had a better chance of coming true.
It had been Grace who unlocked the door to these new possibilities. It took courage, he knew, to admit to your mistakes and acknowledge the effect it had on the people you loved. Then came the seeking of forgiveness, the hope that those who mattered could see the truth that was in your heart. It was only once everyone was being honest and accepting that healing could truly begin.
It made him think of his own parents and he felt a surge of hope flood through him as the memory of last night's telephone conversations came to him. Elizabeth had suggested they make the calls, first to share the news of the baby and then to proffer the possibility of a family reconciliation.
They spoke with his father first, striking it lucky on the first place they called in their search for him. Nathan could hear the emotion in his father's voice, the disbelief and gratitude that they wanted to speak, to include him in their life, but along with that he knew there would be sadness and remorse for all that he had done over the years, all that they had lost because of him. For he knew that nothing he did now, no matter how much he had changed, would be enough unless the woman he had hurt so badly was willing to show forgiveness. If anyone had the bigness of heart to do that it was her and if there was one person who could persuade her it was Nathan.
His mother had cried at the news of the baby, confessing that she had resigned herself to Allie being her only grandchild and admitting how much she missed them.
Then she made it easy for him by saying, "I have been thinking about this a lot lately, something you do the older you get, and I realise it is time to move on, Nathan. We can't erase the past, nor are we likely to ever completely forget. But we can put it behind us and start anew. If we have the chance to give Allie, and now this baby, the family they deserve then that is what I want. You tell me your father is changed, that he is working hard to be a better man, and I have to trust you with that."
They talked for a while longer, about all the things they had missed and what they hoped for in the future. He told her how grown up Allie had become and how like Colleen she was in many ways. Then he told her more about Elizabeth and the happiness and joy she brought to his life.
There was laughter and more tears as they began planning for a visit and with each word Nathan felt that final weight lifted off his shoulders. This, he told himself, looking down once more at Elizabeth's sleeping form as he thought of his children, the two he loved already and the new one to come. They are all I need, all I could ever want. Not just for Christmas but my whole life.
He pulled the covers back carefully, not wanting to disturb her, before putting his feet into his slippers as he stood up and reached for his robe. The first thing he needed to do was to wake Allie and get her going for the day, not always an easy task but somehow at times like this, when it really mattered, she turned into a different person. Less of a teenager and more an adult.
A muffled sound was the response he received when he knocked gently on her door and so he was surprised to see her up and dressed with her bags neatly set by the end of the bed.
"I was hoping you might be awake but certainly didn't expect you to be ready to go", he teased. "Are you that desperate to leave? I thought you sorted out the Arthur issue with your little show yesterday morning."
Allie first shook then nodded her head. "I did and I tried to make sure during the day he knew that I like him but just as my cousin, never anything more. Just in case he wasn't totally put off by my performance. He's quite a funny kid when you crack that outer shell. A bit like Aunt Viola. She can be really nice when she lets herself be. I think they are going to be happy settled here."
Nathan felt that Allie had more to say. "But this is not for you?"
He watched her shift her eyes downwards and knew that she was trying to figure out the right words to say. After a moment she answered.
"Don't get me wrong, I've had a wonderful time here and everyone has been so lovely".
She paused for a moment, her face scrunched into a half smile, "Well, eventually for some. But that's okay, they were working out their own problems. I guess I'm just ready to go home and see all my friends."
He knew how difficult it must have been for Allie to watch all the dramas unfolding around her and not fully understand it all. To be on the edge of womanhood, with all the new and mixed emotions that brought, and yet still have enough of the child in you which meant you were a part of it and yet you weren't. Even with all that Allie had been through over the years there was still a naivety about her, a simpler way of looking at life that he hoped she would never completely lose. Perhaps that was what being a country girl meant.
Allie began speaking again.
"Aunt Julie is so much fun. I really hope she and Uncle Tom make things work because they seem so happy together."
Pointing at the extra suitcase she had needed to borrow for the journey she looked at her dad, silently asking him to understand what this meant to her. "I can't believe all the clothes and other things she has given me to take home".
She hurried on in case Nathan decided to interrupt, "and you don't need to worry, mom has approved every item I finally chose to make sure they are suitable for my age and our life. She said she would ask Mrs Coulter…Aunt Rosemary…to make the adjustments that are needed as apparently she is good at doing that. Do you think she would still be happy to help even if I share things with my friends? It will be so much more fun if we all enjoy the nice things."
Suddenly she gave him an impish grin. "But my presents, the special gifts people chose for me, will be just mine!"
Nathan didn't say a word at first, just drew her into a hug that showed how very much okay it all was before he finally found his voice.
"You never cease to amaze me Allie, you are so kind hearted and loving and considerate to everyone. How you worked out a way to let Arthur down without publicly hurting his feelings reflected that, even if it was done at the risk of other people thinking badly of you. Which of course they didn't once they realised exactly what you were doing."
He let go of her and looking down at her face gave the warmest smile, full of so much pride but with a hint of amusement on the edges. "I often wonder what goes on inside that head of yours to come up with ideas like that and then I tell myself it is probably best not to know"!
A maid who was at that moment walking along the hallway carrying a tray of tea and buttered bread that Nathan had requested the night before heard the laughter that followed and knew exactly who it was. Miss Allie had been a delight to have in the house this past week and they would all be sorry to say goodbye to her later.
And Constable Grant. As handsome as he was thoughtful, Mrs Bailey had said and all the other female staff members had nodded their agreement.
A brave Mountie, Wilson had been quick to counter, not wanting to encourage their flippant comments and wanting to ensure that everyone recognised that there was more to Nathan than just his good looks. Again the women all nodded at his words but the dreamy look in their eyes remained.
Nathan checked the straps on Allie's bags, making sure they were all secured. "Looks like you're good to go", he said, giving the room a quick scan in case he noticed something she had missed. "Now I need to get Jack up and dressed, then pack his bags for him."
"I did that last night, dad. Well the packing bit, not the dressing. I thought it would make life easier today for you and mom. And I'm glad I did as he had toys spread everywhere around his room and in the nursery. I even managed to get into Tristan's room and find some of Jack's belongings there. Those boys are worse than Emily and me for swapping things!"
Jack was all soft and fuzzy when he was woken, wrapping his arms around Nathan's neck and nodding as he explained it was time to get up yet still keeping his eyes closed.
"Come on little man, we have a big day ahead of us and your mom is going to need all the help we can give her. She will be saying goodbye to her mommy and daddy for a while and you know how sad you would be if you had to do that. So we have to be very good and try to make her smile as much as we can. Do you think you can manage that?"
First one eye and then the other opened and Jack gave a big yawn before snuggling back into Nathan's shoulder.
"I'm going to be sad too. I'm going to miss my best buddy Tristan". He paused for a moment before adding, "and Felicity too, I suppose".
Then his face took on an even sadder expression as he sat up straight in Nathan's arms, almost tumbling backwards.
"What about my pony? And Allie's? We have to leave them too!"
Nathan ruffled the boy's hair in a reassuring manner as he quickly answered, "Don't you worry about them. Grandpa is arranging for your ponies to be put on a train to Hope Valley in a few days, the very same one we will be joining on our way home after my meeting in Regina. So they will arrive with us. And Uncle Bill has spoken to Kevin about them staying at the livery until we have our own paddock and barn to keep them in?"
Allie had been half listening to the conversation while thinking about all the things she had to tell her friends but her ears perked up at what her dad just said.
"Is there going to be a house to go with that barn and paddock by any chance?", she asked cheekily.
Nathan gave her an amused smile, knowing that there was very little that ever got past her. "You'll find out soon enough, young lady. But now that we have decided Hope Valley will always be our home, no matter the outcome of my meeting in Regina, then that dream may come true sooner than you think."
Before he could stop them Allie and Jack were dancing around the bedroom, giggling and laughing together, while from behind him a voice made him turn.
"Well, you managed to keep that secret well. I thought we were going to wait until we got home or did you forget that was the plan, the same as the announcement about the baby?"
Elizabeth was laughing as she walked further into the room, closing the door behind her. "I think they are going to remember this Christmas for a very long time. The one that just keeps on giving".
She placed her hands on his chest, looking up into his eyes with a more serious expression on her face.
"You survived it, Nathan. Has it been so horrible for you to cope with all of them? My family?"
He bent his head down and brushed her lips with his, wanting to do more but conscious of the children on the other side of the room where Allie was now helping Jack get dressed.
"Anything or anyone that is important to you will never be a problem for me Elizabeth, you know that. Besides, it was interesting getting to know your family. They are good people."
He stopped when her expression turned to one of doubt, quickly brushing his hand across her brow as though to wipe away the frown.
"I will be honest and say that I felt a bit intimidated at first, as though I didn't belong here with all the fancy manners and traditions there seemed to be. Your mother changed that when she changed herself. She showed me that beneath all the strictures that are placed upon them by the world they inhabit they are really no different to anyone else. They have the same uncertainties and dreams, feel the same joy and pain, want the same things for their families. I think it has been a good lesson for all of us and something I hope we will instill in our children as they grow up."
As he spoke Elizabeth looked at him with so much love in her eyes that he felt his heart was going to burst. Then she gently took his hand and placed it on her stomach, covering it with one of her own. The other she swept across the room to where her son was hopping up and down as Allie tried to help him get his leg into his trousers, the sound of their giggles warming her very being.
"Those tow, this baby, and you. This is all I need to be happy. All I could ever want for Christmas, for life. My family and yours, our friends, our home, my writing….they are the icing on that cake but here, in this room, is what fills me with love and contentment. Let's go home my darling, we have a whole new chapter of our life to write."
THE END