In which basic hygiene is practiced and Haruhi is L.
Dinner was amazing. She wasn't expecting something from this backwards world to be so good, but she could taste the onion and other spices in the tomato, and it left her with a warm full feeling inside. She was at optimum state to fall asleep.
There was only one problem;
She had nowhere to sleep.
After much fanfare she had found a rather cozy pillow in the living room and just decided to sleep on that.
She knew for a fact Kakashi wasn't gonna sleep tonight, paranoid about her presence. Seeing as she had a power nap in his pocket earlier, she was having trouble falling asleep too. So even though she was exhausted from the onion thing, she couldn't sleep.
And she was also worried.
Might as well do some planning now.
She knew much more than she should have. About Konoha's society, and the way ninja's worked. Never being to Konoha before, she shouldn't. The best she could do was reveal nothing at the beginning, and ask a lot of questions. The longer she spent here, the more she could let slip, as anyone suspicious would assume she had picked it up from everyday life.
How long would she spend here?
Kicking her feet, she twisted like a cat onto her stomach, stretching her arms out ahead as if reaching for the answer; only to pull back with fists curled on empty air.
She wouldn't know the answer as long as she didn't know how she had gotten here. And asking how would be suspicious as they had established she was a summon. God, she wished this world full of child killers and accepted state approved assassinations wasn't real.
This was fine though. She could adjust. And with that, she adjusted herself one last time, arm sliding over the sinfully soft stitching that smelled really nice, and drifted off.
...
She woke to a soft nudge that rolled her entire body over. Not bothering to do anything at all, she calmed her heart and sunk lower into the strangely nice smelling pillow. Until she was nudged again and this time slid off the pillow.
She didn't even have time to scream as she slide of the edge, back smacking the wooden floor, leaving her momentarily breathless. She gasped for air, doing her best impression of a trout on a river bank. A brief flash of panic when she realized she couldn't make out anything, having taken her glasses off. It was made even worse when she couldn't check her hoodie pocket for them, being unable to move in all. Concentrating, she felt their slight weight against her lower belly, and would have sighed in relief if she wasn't trying so hard to breathe. Seriously, what knocked her off!?
She blinked, but didn't bother to squint as a huge shadow suddenly eclipsed her, leaning over the pillow she was just knocked off. It was vaguely circular shaped, with two bumps on either side.
"Hey. Girlie, you were sleeping on my pillow."
Well fuck them. Waking her up and almost killing her. Not like she wanted to be in this warped, backwards world, stuck under the care of a man who couldn't even care for himself.
"I'm a woman, not a girl." She said defensively. Just because she was tiny now didn't change that fact.
The blob snorts, probably thinking to her five inch tall frame. The action is strangely animal like...
Finally regaining mobility, she slowly reaches into her hoodie pocket and pulls out the green frame and slightly smudged lenses and puts them on her hair covered face. She blinks once, twice, and wishes the fall killed her.
Because, staring down at her in a mixture of amusement and annoyance, is a dog.
She hates dogs.
Unconsciously, her hand moves to the back of her left thigh where a faint white bite scar resides. Dogs are loud, terrible for sneaking out, not as soft or fluffy as cats, they drool, and poop all over your yard. Plus they kill you. You never hear of a house cat killing people, do you?
She slowly sits up, not breaking eye contact. Her legs are tense with the urge to run.
"Let's start over. I'm Haruhi." she manages around the lump in her throat.
"Pakkun."
Pakku-shit. Like Kakashi's right hand man-er, dog?
Ah, she thinks.
"Well Pakkun, could you explain why you pushed me off the pillow" She asked as politely as she could.
"My pillow." He corrected in a less than amused expression. He probably smelled her dislike or something. Whoa, wait a second, his pillow!
"Yes." he answers verbally.
"You're stinking it up. I thought humans were supposed to be hygienic. "
And that was it. Her self esteem now smaller than she was. A Fucking dog just told her she smelled bad and he was probably right. She hadn't changed her clothes or had a shower since she got here, however long ago that was, and if he was telling the truth and this was his pillow, well, she recalled it smelled amazing, like floral green.
Shit, she was sympathizing with Sakura so hard right now. She never thought she would, considering she hated the character, but whatever.
"Right, where's Kakashi?" She asked briskly. Because they were getting shit done as soon as she found him.
"Not here."
So Kakashi sent his summon to watch her as he did whatever? Cool, but she needed to know when he'd be back. A stab of annoyance went through her; he better be quick with whatever he is doing.
"Where is he? When will he be back?" She tries for the hell of it. He doesn't answer her, just giving her the most done look she had ever seen. And that was saying something as she's been in public school her entire life. He was either out reporting to the Ninja dictator, at the memorial rock stuck in a spiral, or doing god knows what.
She sits up and surveys the living room, mindful of the dog not far away. It has a couch, table and bookshelf, all empty. No pictures really hang on the wall, and the room is in mostly neutral colors. She wonders if the other rooms are this empty, and if so, where does he keep all his stuff? Spotting the hallway on the other side, she stretches, well aware of Pakkuns hot breath against her back, and starts walking.
Her glorified babysitter barks in question, hopping the pillow like a hurtle and land a little to her left. Barely controlling her flinch, she turns and speaks;
"Can you show me where the bathroom is?"
He blinks, obviously surprised. He was probably thinking she would ask for Kakashi again. But she was a fierce, smelly, independent woman and she would make it to the bathroom and clean herself up.
"Hop on. I can get you there."
...Hop on?
Her breathing picks up, and she wipes her sweaty palms on her sweatpants.
"I'm good, man. I can just go myself."
Pakkun shook his head.
"I gotta watch you. Just climb on." He leaned down next to the pillow, clearly indicating for her to climb on.
Haruhi took a shaky breath, before slowly approaching. She touched his shoulder and fluinched backwards, but when nothing happened, she grabbed hold and swung her leg around his neck.
Her stomach swooped when he stood up, and she giggled, anxiety being replaced with amusement as they padded down the hallway.
The stopped in front of a closed door.
They both looked on, stuck.
"It's not locked, it it?"
"No."
"Can you open it?"
She slid off his back. Standing up on his hind legs, he wasn't nearly tall enough. The pads of his paws pressed uselessly against the hardwood. While he was able to leap tall trees in a single bound, this was much more delicate, and she doubted his jaws could turn the metal knob. She frowned, and went into her L from death note mode.
Observing her surroundings, the hallway was mostly empty. The floor was hardwood up to a point, ending just after the wooden table. The table itself would still be too short to reach the table. She frowned, then gasped slightly as an idea hit her and started mumbling under her breath.
Pakkun gave her a (justified) strange look.
"Haruhi, what are you talking about? Have you figured out a way to get in?"
"Yes." She answered honestly. "But i'm going to need your help."
She carefully explained the details of her plan to him, clearly impressing him. "You have a good head on your shoulders. Lets see if it works." She smiles for the first time that morning.
And with that, they ran over to the wooden table. Pakkun, doing most of the heavy lifting, grabbed a corner with his teeth and gentle tugged it the few feet towards the door. Because it was all polished hardwood, it slid easily enough over the surface. She stood off to the side, shouting directions to Pakkun.
He tugged the three legged table over against the door. Phase two was in action. Pakkun let go of the leg, licking his jaws. Leaning over again, she jumped up and grabbed his blue headband with the Konoha leaf symbol on it, and wrapped her hands into the blue cloth. He tensed, then jumped. She felt her stomach being left behind on the wooden floor as he landed onto the flat tabletop.
Slowly jumping off the side of his headband, she looked as he stood up on his hind paws and was now tall enough to reach the knob. Taking both of his front paws, he placed them on either side and very carefully twisted.
Click.
Pakkun shifted his weight and the door slowly swung open. Pakkun barked victoriously and she whooped. He jumped down and dragged the table to wedge itself between the door and its frame, so it wouldn't close and trap them in.
Eyes widened as they took in the darkened bathroom. Her vision turned towards the wall, looking for a light switch. It was to her right, to high to reach and located in a place to small for Pakkun.
This looks like a job for Wonder Woman!
She glanced at the hand-towels hanging from a rack in arms distance from the edge of the table. Still in L mode, she reached over and grabbed a handful, and started climbing.
"I'll catch you, so you don't have to worry." Said Pakkun. She shot a grateful smile his way in response.
She shimmied to the side, ignoring the drop below her, until her feet landed on the white counter. Sighing in relief, she carefully walked over to the dark wall and jumped up on the protruding tile rim. Standing on her tippy toes she was just tall enough to grab the other light switch facing downwards in a reverse grip and pull herself up to flick the lights on.
The sudden fluorescent lights made her eyes sting for a second until she became used to it. Looking around she noticed a mostly blank counter, with a soap dispenser in the corner. This was probably the guest bathroom.
"Haruhi." Pakkun piped up like an particularly helpful video game tutorial "The mirror should open, and hygienic products are inside, if you can figure it out."
"Thanks!" Maybe dogs weren't so bad. She still didn't like them.
She frowned when faced with a new problem. How to get the cabinet open? It wasn't locked, thank god, but she couldn't reach that high. Idly, she walked over to the yellow soap dispenser and pushed it over the counter top to the side where it should open from. Grabbing hold of the plastic wrapping she hoisted herself up and sat on the plastic head, soap spritzing out.
She watched as it leaked down the front and suddenly had an crazy idea.
Hopping off, she stood on the tall flat handle for the hot part of the sink and pulled it over next to her, Jamming the flat, shovel headed tip into the crack, she let go and the mostly empty bottle of soap stayed wedged there, sticking out on a 45 degree angle.
Grinning she stopped the clean sink and turned of the faucet.
"Pakkun, i'm going to take a bath, don't look and warn me if Kakashi's coming." And with a grunt of agreement she turned back to the matter at hand.
She hesitated for a moment. She needed to take off her clothes in order to take a bath, but what if someone saw? A self conscious hand rested on her chubby stomach. She glanced down at Pakkun who had his head turned away. She stripped and readied herself and jumped onto the bottle, Propelling all her weight forward and releasing her inertia. With a shutter, the glass cabinet opened slightly, and she and the bottle fell back into the water filled sink.
Swimming to the edge, she hauled herself out with the emergency holes in the side of sinks in case it overflows. Panting and butt naked, she looked into the contents of the cabinet. Like most of the house so far, it was pretty empty. It had a case of floss, toothpaste but no brush, and-
-A TRAVEL SIZED BOTTLE OF SHAMPOO!
Grinning, she climbed the shelves like a baby climbs a staircase, and knocked it over. It fell into the sink with a splash. Grabbing the tooth paste, she unscrewed it, grabbed a blob, and stuck it in her mouth, cause she'd be damned if that wasn't nasty smelling. She then took the cap and stuck it on the hook that would lock the cabinet-just in case. Finally, She takes a long string of floss and ties knots in it. When she deems it's long enough, she cuts it with the corner built in the box.
Carefully climbing down, She lands on the handle again. She reached around and tied the knotted flossing string around the neck, and jumped back in, satisfied she'll be able to get out easier next time.
She washed her hair and takes care of other things while she's at it, making small talk with Pakkun. When he offers his shampoo to her, she draws the line. Carefully taking her undershirt, she washes that and her other clothes, spending extra time on the soup stains in her pants.
When she's done, she ties one end of the mini bottle to the string and pulls herself out.
She goes up to the stopper at the back of the faucet and pulls up, draining the now cool water. Pakkun helpfully grabs a washcloth for her and she towel dries herself, knowing her hair take awhile to dry, due to how thick it is.
After putting her boy shorts underwear and sports bra on the edge to dry, she leaves her other cloths items on the corner on the cabinet shelves to dry.
"Pakkun, Catch me!" She shrieks, wrapped in the washcloth, and jumps off the side.
She lands on his back and slides off onto the red plush bathroom carpet. Both of them walk under the table and into the kitchen. She decides Pakkun isn't so bad.
They appear to have impeccable timing.
Kakashi walks through the door, carrying brown paper grocery bags with fresh food. He doesn't notice her for a moment, kicking off his sandals and locking the door, but when he does, he stops in his tracks.
They all stared at each other, him taking in her drying, naked state wrapped in a white cloth, and her taking in his full arms and less so wallet. Pakkun poofs away.
She grins and he looks on with apprehension.
"Don't get too comfortable, Kakashi. Were going clothes shopping."
This chapter is important due to what we learn about Haruhi's character and thoughts on the Naruto world. (I also don't own death note)
Her comments on the Naruto world shows she thinks its a backwards place where she doesn't want to be. Her defensive disposition when dealing with Pakkun and undressing shows her insecurity. Her thoughts on Kakashi shows she is judgmental about the world as a whole and impatient.
Overcoming her fears about the dog bite on the back of her leg and talking to Pakkun despite her fear shows her bravery. Her plan to open the door shows her ingenuity, along with moving the onion. Her ability to bounce back and smile while making small talk with Pakkun shows her adaptability and good nature.
That may seem obvious to some, but others asked for clarification about her character. Also, she is roughly 5 inches tall.
See you!