Haruhi lies awake and stares at the ceiling.

She maybe got three hours of rest after Kakashi took her for a quick check up at the hospital, before he just as quickly whisked her back here. She had multiple cuts and abrasions, but no lasting damage.

Yeah, right.

Once, she would have mentally berated him for his paranoia, but now she could only be in complete agreement. Being stalked, kidnapped, held hostage, thrown into two cells, and then dragged away in an attempted state sanctioned murder was not her idea of a good time.

She felt more fragile now than she ever did when she was 5 inches tall, an impressive feat in and of itself, considering how weak and helpless she had felt. But right now she would give almost anything to feel safe and curled up at the bottom of Kakashi's pocket. Small and out of sight.

Kakashi shifts in his sleep, arms coming to wrap around her, and she briefly tenses in fear of a man's touch before relaxing.

It was just Kakashi.

But no matter what she did, she couldn't get the feeling of the ANBU agents cold, hard, bruising grip, and his sharp jerks from her mind. It had been hours since he had last touched her and she still could not stop thinking about it.

She remembered Kabuto and Orochimaru, their amused expressions as she screamed and cried, strapped to the table. They would measure her limbs, before and after. She doesn't want to think about it.

For all that she is cold, Kakashi is warm. His body naturally runs hotter, and she finds it chases away the chill from the cells. She burrows her cold nose into his neck as he tightens his arms around her, fingers twitching against her back.

Haruhi frowns.

It's clear he's having a nightmare.

She knows what that's like.

His reaction to seeing her at her real size had been...interesting. After he had calmed down from his mad dash with lord third, and then bringing her to the hospital and then home, it had finally sunk in for him.

Or maybe not.

It hadn't for her either.

His hand had rested on her tired face for what felt like lifetimes before pulling away. He was quiet and averted his eyes as he went digging for some of his old clothes that would fit her. He brought up a pair of sweatpants and a black long sleeved shirt. His familiar scent almost had her weeping in relief when he helped her put them on, after she washed away the blood and grime in the shower.

After eating a light soup he prepared for her, they went to bed. Kakashi was going to sleep on the couch to give her privacy but she had grabbed his hand and tugged him until he laid next to her. She didn't feel safe without him anymore. Last time she wasn't with him, she was kidnapped.

Kakashi groaned, and Haruhi's brow furrowed. Should she wake him up?

That question quickly became irrelevant when his eye snaps open.

His breathing calms down as his eyes rove over her, taking in her form safe in his arms, real and there, and not some desperate hope.

She moves his head gently into the crook of her neck, and wraps her arms around his back in reassurance. Haruhi makes no sound as she feels tears trickle down her nape, and appreciates it when Kakashi doesn't comment on her own tears.

After awhile, Kakashi spoke in a low whisper.

"Can't sleep?"

"...Not really."

"Can't say I blame you."

Haruhi smiled wryly, absentmindedly petting the back of his head. He all but melts into her, before stiffening up slightly as he adjusted to her new size.

"Yeah, I'm not used to it either."

Kakashi traced a small pattern into her side.

"It's fine, it's just...not what I'm used to."

Her heart sank.

"I know I'm probably not something nice to look at up close-"

"-That's not what I meant. I meant it will get some taking used to, but I'm glad that you'll have some of your independence back. Maybe you'll feel better."

His hopeful tone melted her heart, and she smiled.

They laid there for a few more minutes, ignoring the elephants in the room. Her kidnapping, the things that had happened in the trial room, and so many other things that Haruhi knew she had forgotten about but would come back to bite her later.

She bit her lip

"Kakashi, I…"

"...Its okay."

To her horror, tears welled up in her eyes and she sniffled.

She felt Kakashi pull away from her neck, but she kept her face trained towards the ceiling, ashamed. Guilt, self-hatred, and confusion swirled in her like some molotov cocktail of negative repressed emotions and she grits her teeth.

To say things have gone sideways is an understatement. She had finally worked up the courage to take definitive action and it ended in a clusterfuck.

Kakashi's breath fanned over her face as she stubbornly looked anywhere but him. He brushed her tears away with the pads of his thumbs, pressing his forehead against hers.

She finally looked at him, and immediately glanced away. The aching fondness in his eyes was more than she felt she deserved.

She tried to open her mouth, to tell him no, none of this was okay, and why did he even still help her, but nothing but a short, choked noise came out, and her shoulders began shaking in earnest.

Haruhi desperately tried to stifle her tears, to calm down. She raised her hand to wipe them away, but he gently laced his gloveless fingers with hers.

"It's not okay what happened to you, or what's going on. But it's okay to cry." He whispered into her hair. He didn't seem to notice or care that what he was saying went directly against the ninja code. He knew there were more important things.

Haruhi froze. She heard those words before.

"You are always looking out for everyone else, but never yourself. You seem to carry this burden and refuse to put it down or take a break."

She snorts into his shoulder and he gives an amused, sad huff.

"Yeah, a bit hypocritical, but it's still true."

He sits up, and shifts her into his lap. Her legs hang over his and her back is pressed against his chest. She feels his bare lips against her cheek.

"It's okay to feel bad Haruhi. It took me a long time to realize that, but you aren't less of a person if you do."

Her face crumbles.

"Kakashi you don't g-get it." She had to tell him, or else she'd scream. "I know things. B-beacuse I'm a s-summon. I get extra access to things, and I had some foreknowledge I didn't tell you about. There were things I could have done or c-couldn't have, and I didn't!" She sobs.

Kakashi is quiet, and her nerves scream in anxiety.

He sighs. Its fond, exasperated, and tired all in one.

"Oh Haruhi, I already knew."

She's so surprised she stops crying.

"Huh?"

"Admittedly, I didn't know at first. But you always had this knowing look on your face, and you knew these little things about me and the kids that you probably shouldn't have. I'm not angry at you for keeping that a secret-not at all! Summons are granted the right to their own secrets."

"...Oh."

Oh indeed. Some invisible weight lifts off her shoulders she hadn't even know was there, and suddenly, she can look him in the face again.

His eyes are crinkled in a smile, his sharingan open and spinning gently. His pale pink lips are turned upwards in a small, slightly sad, smile. She take a moment to marvel at his beauty and trust in her before he begins speaking softly.

"I'm beyond touched that you felt you could trust me enough to tell me this, but It's silly to blame yourself. Even though you had foreknowledge, it's impossible to predict what can or will happen. You're not some omnipotent god."

He gently turned her head, shifting her higher in his lap and guiding her cheek plush against his own. His one hand presses flush over her heart, and the other intertwines with hers.

"You're Haruhi, and that's all that matters."

Coming back strong with the Harushi after a dry period.

Question of the chapter: What do you think their relationship will be like going forward?